Star vs. the Forces of Evil 4x18

1. For cunning acts throughout the Mewni ground lands

2. and the swamp, I knight you

3. - Sir Cuddles of Hugs— - (sobbing)

4. You're just gonna cut off his head?

5. Right here?

6. In front of his own mother?

7. Uh... no.

8. I was going to make him a knight.

9. This is a knighting ceremony.

10. For knighting knights.

11. Uh, well, s-sorry.

12. I just... you know,

13. when a monster sees a queen with a sword...

14. (chuckles) I mean, don't we all just think that...

15. My son's gonna be a knight!

16. You know, she's gonna cry no matter what.

17. That's what she does.

18. So... maybe you want to go on to the next guy.

19. Sounds good.

20. And last but certainly not least, Marco Diaz,

21. also known as Princess Turdina.

22. Yes-s-s-s.

23. For his noble and dedicated service

24. to the throne of Mewni, I knight you Sir Marco of Earth.

25. I also liberated the Neverzonians from a fire spirit

26. that plagued them for about a century.

27. Maybe you wanna mention. Maybe you wanna tell the people.

28. Go stand with the others.

29. Introducing the new Knights of Mewni—

30. Sir Marco, Lady Higgs,

31. Sir Babyman, Sir Oldman,

32. and Sir Cuddles.

33. Marco! Oh, congratulations!

34. I made something for you.

35. It's your new knight cape.

36. Each patch represents something we did together.

37. There you are as Princess Turdina, there's the dimensional scissors,

38. and that goblin dog-looking thing is a goblin dog.

39. Oh, Star, you didn't have to do that.

40. Yeah, but I wanted to. Besides, every knight has one.

41. (gasps) I'll sew you your last patch once you get your lifelong post!

42. - Lifelong post? - (man) That's right, Marco.

43. Mr. Candle?

44. (chuckles) No, Marco.

45. It's Sir Crandle.

46. He's gonna help you choose your lifelong post.

47. We have much to discuss.

48. Oh, and don't choose anything with horses.

49. They're really hard to sew.

50. (Marco) So...

51. are you sure you're not Mr. Candle?

52. I told you, it's Sir Crandle.

53. I've never even been to Echo Creek.

54. I never said I was from Echo Creek.

55. So, here are some flyers.

56. You can pick Knight Guardian of the Sad Tree,

57. knight Hunter of the Disappearing Ghost,

58. stable-cleaning knight—

59. you know, what kind of knight you'll be for the rest of your life.

60. The rest of my life?

61. - Congrats, Marco! - (dance music plays)

62. Oh, hey, Star.

63. So? What's your lifelong post?

64. Well, about that, I choose... quitting.

65. Wait. What do you mean?

66. I'm gonna have to turn knighthood down.

67. But it's not because I don't love hanging out with you. I...

68. I just can't stay on Mewni forever.

69. I have a baby brother on the way,

70. and I'm gonna have to start thinking about college and...

71. No, no, no. Please. I get it.

72. I mean, obviously I knew you couldn't stay here forever.

73. And, hey, you can always be called Sir Marco the Quitter. (chuckles)

74. - (phone rings) - Oh, no.

75. Oh, no. Someone's calling me.

76. I guess I have to...

77. leave this awkward conversation now.

78. (Marco) Oh, this is bad.

79. I didn't mean to hurt Star's feelings, but I had to be honest with her.

80. I should find her, try to smooth things over.

81. What do you think?

82. Ugh. What am I doing? I should be talking to Star.

83. I need to go find her. (gasps)

84. Hey, hey, whoever did this made a big mistake!

85. Welcome young knights, to your knight out party!

86. (chanting) Knight out! Knight out! Knight out!

87. What? Where are we?

88. The den of knights, where the Sacred Order of Knighthood

89. comes to just be a knight.

90. We got a foosball table, a sweet lounge,

91. we even got a dragon named Noodles.

92. And now that you've chosen your lifelong post,

93. you're officially knights!

94. (chanting) Knight out! Knight out!

95. What did you choose, Marco?

96. Oh, you know, I'm choosing not to be a knight.

97. I mean, I only made him my squire

98. so we could hang out and do silly stuff together.

99. I never thought he'd, like,

100. stop being my squire.

101. Why am I talking to a statue?

102. Ugh! I don't know.

103. I should talk to Marco.

104. Huh? A cornplex bar?

105. Marco's the only one who ever eats these.

106. And he would never leave one half-eaten.

107. Would he?

108. You didn't choose a lifelong post?

109. Well, it's just, I've kinda already done

110. a bunch of knight stuff, and, you know...

111. You can't just not choose your lifelong post.

112. You knelt before the queen.

113. Yeah, I'm honored to be a knight,

114. but I didn't think I was gonna do that for my entire life.

115. What do you mean? This is a legacy!

116. Every knight through every generation

117. chose their lifelong post and stuck with it.

118. You're slapping centuries of history in the face, ya hippie.

119. Well, then this party's not meant for me.

120. Listen, kid, you're going to chose a lifelong post,

121. or we're going to choose one for you.

122. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

123. Let's not resort to hurting here, Sir Stabby.

124. But he doesn't have a lifelong post!

125. I know, I know.

126. But in unprecedented situations like this,

127. let's first consult the knights' handbook.

128. Okay. "In the unlikely event

129. that a squire turns down their lifelong post,

130. The knight's order shall..." Oh.

131. Uh, Sir Stabby had it right. We're supposed to hurt you.

132. - Yes! - Wait, what?

133. (Star) I mean, it's weird, right?

134. Why would Marco just drop his cornplex bar halfway through eating it?

135. It's, like, his favorite guilty pleasure snack.

136. - (coos) - I think you might be over-thinking this.

137. - (giggles) - Very good.

138. I don't know. He's been missing

139. ever since I called him Sir Marco the Quitter.

140. What if he's in danger? I gotta go find him!

141. Wait. I'm overreacting.

142. Marco is his own person, and I need to give him space.

143. Now, submit and accept your lifelong post,

144. or we'll lock you in the dungeon for eternity.

145. (laughing) Look, guys,

146. I don't mean to laugh, but... I thought this was supposed to hurt.

147. Okay, well, let's move on to the fingernails.

148. - (screeching) - Aah!

149. - Can I go now? - (frustrated groan)

150. You came to Mewni to become a knight,

151. so why can't you just pick a lifetime post?

152. Well, there's just more to life than being one thing.

153. Ah, geez, we're getting a lecture from the princess's squire?

154. I mean, what have you done?

155. Well, I helped save Mewni from a monstrous she-demon.

156. And I can't even list all the things I did in the Neverzone.

157. Wh— What's the Neverzone?

158. Oh, just the most dangerous dimension in the multiverse,

159. where I spent decades adventuring.

160. I mean, I've been knighted like nine times there.

161. Wow! I want to go to the Neverzone.

162. Fine!

163. He doesn't want to be a knight?

164. Hey, hey. Not the cape, man.

165. So there is something that gets to you.

166. If you so much

167. as singe a single thread on that patchwork,

168. I swear your face will hit every surface in this room,

169. and when you wake up, you'll be in the belly of that dragon.

170. (chuckles) Oh, really?

171. - (exclaims) - Ooh!

172. Hyah! (grunts)

173. - Get him! - (all exclaiming)

174. Aah! Ooh!

175. Oh!

176. - (exclaims) - I wasn't joking.

177. Well, this has been fun.

178. All right. You win. You win.

179. You may leave if you wish.

180. Oh, I just don't understand why you'd want to turn this down!

181. Accepting your lifelong post should be a knight's proudest achievement.

182. It's 'cause the dude's a lousy cheater.

183. Got the squire job handed to him,

184. then he spends years training in that Neverzone place?

185. He thinks he's too good to be a knight.

186. If you all could for one second think about the world

187. from someone else's point of view, none of this would've happened.

188. You want to train up in the Neverzone, be my guest.

189. Knock yourselves out.

190. Just remember that time works differently there, so...

191. Yeah! Ha-ha! Feast your eyes!

192. Wait. Where'd all my muscles go?

193. Neverzone? Time warp? Things go back to normal here?

194. There's nothing left for me here.

195. (Marco) Watching without me?

196. Got to rip the bandage off at some point, right?

197. I'm really sorry for being a pill earlier.

198. It's just, it's gonna be so weird when you go back to Earth.

199. Hey, we still have some time before I need to leave.

200. Promise you'll visit all the time.

201. I will. But, for when I'm not here...

202. Just because I'm going back to Earth

203. doesn't mean we can't stop having adventures together.

204. And I figured, if there's any lifelong post to accept on Mewni,

205. it's our friendship.

206. Oh, Marco! Thank you.

207. I love it.

208. Your Majesty, I have your morning tea.

209. Your Majesty?

210. Queen Eclipsa?

211. Oh, no. This is bad. This is really, really bad.

212. Who's even powerful enough to queen-nap Eclipsa?

213. I don't know! The magical high commission, maybe?

214. - Or, uh... - (door opens)

215. It's just the mail! Please don't hurt me!

216. We'll see about that.

217. Oh! Maybe the queen-nappers left us a message?

218. Junk, junk. Hey, a bill from Seahorse.

219. Well, all that stuff you vanished on my show was not free.

220. All right. Looks like this is a dead end.

221. Don't worry, B-fly, I got you.

222. I watch a lot of true-crime shows, so I'm basically a detective.

223. Ooh, we're gonna gather clues and probably chase people down.

224. And, oh! We'll have a super dramatic showdown

225. in, like, an old warehouse or something like—

226. - No, we don't have time for that. - Oh, okay. Well, fine, then.

227. That's fine, if you want to be basic about it.

228. - (gasps) - Whoa.

229. That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen.

230. - (camera whirrs) - Okay, okay. Where are you?

231. (man) Who dares to spy on us?

232. Aah! Who are you, and what do you want?

233. We are the inner circle.

234. We require one thousand pounds of gold before midnight!

235. If you ever want to see your queen again.

236. - Oh, yeah? Well, I— - Silence!

237. If you keep using that infernal spying spell,

238. we'll toss your queen into the fire!

239. Now, close this portal and get that gold!

240. Okay, well, let's keep this under wraps for now.

241. If the townsfolk find out about this,

242. we could have a serious panic on our hands.

243. Right, right, right. But what if,

244. let's just say maybe, hypothetically, they already know?

245. - What? How? - Status update.

246. (Star) Oh, right.

247. Then I guess we'd better make an announcement.

248. Thank you, everyone, for coming.

249. First, I would like to announce that, yes,

250. the rumors are technically true.

251. Queen Eclipsa has been queen-napped.

252. - (whispering) - (man) Who's Queen Eclipsa?

253. But don't worry. We are going to find Eclipsa

254. and bring her back safely.

255. Yeah, I have a question.

256. How bad should I feel about this?

257. Because I do not feel bad right now.

258. - Yeah, who even likes Eclipsa? - Not me.

259. Uh, but, uh...

260. If we don't find her in three hours, she's gonna die!

261. Pony, what is wrong with you! Why would you say that.

262. We need to keep the stakes really high to get people invested.

263. Why do you think I'm posting updates every five minutes?

264. - I'm keeping it fresh. - (groans)

265. Why don't we go to that park where all the hot bad boys

266. in leather jackets hang out with each other?

267. I bet they can hook us up with some clues.

268. No need, my dudes. I've got our first clue right here.

269. All right, anyone see anything yet?

270. No, because this is a stupid waste of time, okay?

271. Janna just wanted us to go to the Underworld.

272. Uh, no. We came here because these fires

273. look just like the ones we saw in the All Seeing Eye.

274. Not that I mind the view.

275. Yeah, well, there are no hot bad boys here,

276. so I don't know what I'm supposed to take a photo of.

277. Yo, Earth turd, look cool!

278. - Huh? (exclaims) - (Pony) Hmm, okay.

279. So maybe this was not a complete waste of time.

280. Guys, I think I just got a message from our queen-nappers.

281. (Marco) Wait, that doesn't look like the Underworld.

282. - Where did the fire go? - I don't know.

283. (gasps) Maybe they changed locations after I spied on them.

284. "If you're going to try searching, you'd have luck in the place

285. where people lie but don't speak."

286. - That must be... - A graveyard!

287. A mattress store!

288. What? That's an option too.

289. Okay, yes! A spooky graveyard, a full moon.

290. This is the cool detective stuff I signed up for.

291. We're not trying to be cool detectives, Pony.

292. - This is serious. - (both gasp)

293. Hey, come back here!

294. Ooh, a graveyard chase! I am so live-streaming this!

295. Rainbow avalanche!

296. I got this! (shouts)

297. Who sent you?

298. Wait! Hold that pose!

299. We're kind of in the middle of something here.

300. Documentation is important, okay?

301. Do that pose like you're gonna chop his head off.

302. And now move your arm up.

303. - Now make that super growly face. - Pony...

304. - Just do it! - (growls)

305. Yes! Work it, Princess!

306. Thank you, Earth turd. You may proceed.

307. (Marco) Now, who are you—

308. - Babs? - (coughing) Sorry. Bronchitis.

309. Who sent you? Why were you trying to assassinate us?

310. The Assassin's Guild doesn't just do assassinations.

311. We also do spying, death threats, ransom arrows...

312. Oh, you mean like this?

313. "I watch you from the water but I never get wet."

314. Well, that's definitely not the graveyard.

315. Ugh! How are they always one step ahead of us?

316. I don't know about this, Star.

317. Why would the Merpeople have a shark in a tank?

318. Pony, the shark isn't in the tank, Eclipsa is.

319. That sounds like kind of a stretch to me.

320. It was all I could think of, okay?

321. Right now it's our best bet to finding Eclipsa.

322. - Eclipsa? Is she okay? - Have you found her yet?

323. No, not yet. We're still investigating some leads.

324. Well, don't give up. We're rooting for you.

325. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still hate Eclipsa.

326. But I'm kinda invested in the story at this point.

327. Yeah, Pony. Your live-stream is super addicting.

328. My whole life is very addicting.

329. Pony, you can't just broadcast our every move to the whole world.

330. That's probably how the queen-nappers keep outsmarting us.

331. I'm just giving the people what they want.

332. You summoned me, Miss Butterfly?

333. Larry Kelpbottom! Just the fish-man I wanted to see.

334. I'm on to your little tricks. Where are you hiding her?

335. - Hiding who? - Oh, don't play dumb.

336. Your family never liked Eclipsa, did they?

337. - Wh-What? - It has to be you.

338. 'Cause if it's not you,

339. I don't know what to do anymore.

340. Are you okay?

341. Whoa. Star is losing it!

342. Oh, boy, boy, boy, boy. You need to dial it back, girl.

343. You can't lose your head over this. Look at yourself!

344. This isn't who you are!

345. Eh, you're right, Pony.

346. I can't just lose... Wait a minute.

347. "I watch you from the water, but I never get..."

348. (exclaims) I was wrong!

349. (gasps) Sorry, dude! Guys, I figured out the riddle.

350. The answer isn't the Merpeople, it's your reflection.

351. So Eclipsa is trapped in a mirror!

352. No.

353. - So where are we going? - Here.

354. It's the bill from Reflectacorp. Tally it up.

355. It's a thousand pounds of gold. That's...

356. The exact same amount as the demand!

357. Uh-huh. Seahorse. He's the queen-napper.

358. Reflection. Reflectacorp. This has to be it!

359. How could Seahorse do such a thing?

360. I mean, he did say that he was in trouble with Reflectacorp

361. because of all the equipment that we destroyed.

362. I don't know. This is still weird.

363. If he wants the gold, why send all these clues

364. - leading us right to Eclipsa? - (Star) There it is!

365. The abandoned Reflectacorp warehouse.

366. I must get out!

367. (all) Eclipsa!

368. Don't worry, Eclipsa.

369. We will get you out of this thing.

370. - (grunting) - (gasps) No!

371. I almost had all 300 Snarlblecks!

372. - What? - (Seahorse) Uh-oh. You seem confused.

373. How about some help from your local Reflectacorp service provider?

374. What you have there is Reflectacorp's first foray

375. into biotech virtual reality.

376. Eclipsa has been playing one of our hit games,

377. - Wizard Spaceship! - (game beeping)

378. So this whole time, Eclipsa has just been

379. sitting here playing video games?

380. That is correct.

381. What about those fire pits? And that shark tank?

382. So glad you asked!

383. Those stunning, hi-def environments were created

384. using Reflectacorp's patented four-wall projector.

385. Optional floor and ceiling units sold separately.

386. What about the Inner Circle?

387. Are they fake too?

388. Oh, we're very much real.

389. (all) Ta-da!

390. Pony Sisters? Okay, wait.

391. If you're in on this and Seahorse is in on this...

392. (gasps) Oh, no.

393. Oh, ye-e-e-s-s!

394. Ponyhead? You are behind all this? What— How could you?

395. Wow! Ungrateful much?

396. We put a lot of work into those riddles, you know.

397. And of course there would have been way cleverer riddles

398. if we started at the park with the hot boys in their leather jackets, okay?

399. But no, no one wanted to listen to me, so... (blows raspberry)

400. But why? You sent us on an emotional roller coaster,

401. and you could have caused a riot on Mewni!

402. What? I was just keeping my promise to make Eclipsa super-popular.

403. And the new queen-napping segment is totally blowing up right now.

404. - Segment? - That's right, girl! (chuckles)

405. Seahorse, hit it!

406. - Aah! - Because you're still on...

407. The Ponyhead Show!

408. What?

409. Hi, Pony fans!

410. As you can see, I, Ponyhead,

411. used my super good detective skills to track down Eclipsa!

412. Girl, how's it feel to be rescued by me?

413. - What? - (chuckles) I know, right?

414. Then those evil queen-napper guys

415. tried to ambush us, so I beat them up,

416. and now they're going to jail!

417. - Like for real, though. - We never discussed this!

418. Oh, and Star was there too. Smile for the camera, Star.

419. Pony, Who is this even for?

420. Our loyal content subscribers.

421. They're watching the live feed on their Reflectacorp mirror phones.

422. Whoa, there's Eclipsa!

423. She's okay!

424. Hey, Eclipsa's been rescued!

425. How did everyone find out about this?

426. From my updates, B-fly.

427. (Pony) The Mewmans may hate Eclipsa,

428. but there is no problem a good drama can't fix.

429. - (cheering) - No one messes with our queen!

430. - There she is! - Hey, Eclipsa!

431. - I love you! - I love you, Eclipsa!

432. Well, Ponyhead, that was a totally awful thing to do.

433. But you did somehow end up helping Eclipsa,

434. so I can't really hold it against you.

435. Yeah! No consequences for Ponyhead!

436. And at least I don't have to pay that huge Reflectacorp bill.

437. Okay, no. That part was real.

438. You have to pay that, or they'll find you.