1. Am I doing it right?Copy !req
2. You don't have to be
quite so gentle.Copy !req
3. Tell me again.Copy !req
4. Tell you about what?Copy !req
5. About the stem bolts.Copy !req
6. I have 100 gross of
self-sealing stem boltsCopy !req
7. sitting in Cargo Bay 11.Copy !req
8. And they're all mine?Copy !req
9. For only ten bars
of gold-pressed latinum.Copy !req
10. Quark, you don't know
how much this means to me.Copy !req
11. You don't know how much
this means to me.Copy !req
12. With those stem boltsCopy !req
13. my family will be able
to triple productionCopy !req
14. of our reverse-ratcheting
routing planers.Copy !req
15. Glad to be of help.Copy !req
16. Oh, Quark, I can't wait
any longer.Copy !req
17. Why don't you and I
go down to Cargo Bay 11 and...Copy !req
18. sign the contract?Copy !req
19. No need to rush.Copy !req
20. Your family's ship
won't be here for a week.Copy !req
21. We'll have plenty of timeCopy !req
22. to finalize the deal
before then.Copy !req
23. That's an unusual attitude
for a Ferengi.Copy !req
24. I'm a very unusual Ferengi.Copy !req
25. That must be the Saurian brandy
I ordered.Copy !req
26. Enter.Copy !req
27. Rom, where's my brandy?Copy !req
28. Forget the brandy, Brother.Copy !req
29. You must leave here immediately.Copy !req
30. And that goes
for the female as well.Copy !req
31. Is something wrong?Copy !req
32. There's nothing wrong.Copy !req
33. Have you lost your mind?Copy !req
34. She's willing, she's wealthyCopy !req
35. and she wants to buy
our stem bolts.Copy !req
36. It's going to have to wait.Copy !req
37. Something important has come up.Copy !req
38. Right now, nothing is more
important than this.Copy !req
39. Grand Nagus Zek.Copy !req
40. As big as life.Copy !req
41. Go, go!Copy !req
42. What does Zek want with me?Copy !req
43. Looks like he's moving
in with you, Brother.Copy !req
44. Oh...Copy !req
45. Sisko to Bashir.Copy !req
46. This is Bashir.Copy !req
47. Doctor, please report
to the Wardroom immediately.Copy !req
48. On my way.Copy !req
49. What's this?Copy !req
50. Champagne.Copy !req
51. Congratulations, Doctor.Copy !req
52. Well, thank you.Copy !req
53. Now, will someone please tell me
what's going on?Copy !req
54. The Federation Medical
Council has announcedCopy !req
55. the nominees for this year's
Carrington Award.Copy !req
56. And the nominees are...Copy !req
57. Dr. April Wade
of the University of Nairobi.Copy !req
58. Healer Senva
of the Vulcan Medical InstituteCopy !req
59. Dr. Henri Roget
of the Central HospitalCopy !req
60. of Altair IVCopy !req
61. Chirurgeon Ghee P'Trell
of AndoriaCopy !req
62. and Dr. Julian Bashir,
Chief Medical OfficerCopy !req
63. of Starbase Deep Space 9.Copy !req
64. Good luck.Copy !req
65. There must be some mistake.Copy !req
66. As far as I knowCopy !req
67. my name wasn't even
up for consideration.Copy !req
68. Oh, it was up for consideration.Copy !req
69. I submitted it myselfCopy !req
70. through an old friend
of Curzon's.Copy !req
71. You deserve the nomination,
Doctor.Copy !req
72. Your work
on biomolecular replicationCopy !req
73. was both audacious
and groundbreaking.Copy !req
74. According to Dax, anyway.Copy !req
75. She's the only one
who understands it.Copy !req
76. So how does it feel to be
the youngest nomineeCopy !req
77. in the history
of the Carrington Award?Copy !req
78. It feels... good.Copy !req
79. Excuse me.Copy !req
80. I've got to finish some work.Copy !req
81. What exactly is it
you want me to say?Copy !req
82. I want you to say that youCopy !req
83. are thrilled beyond
belief to be nominatedCopy !req
84. for the Federation's most
prestigious medical award.Copy !req
85. Well, believe me, I'm honored
to have been nominated.Copy !req
86. Well, you're not acting like it.Copy !req
87. It's just
that I don't want everyoneCopy !req
88. to make a big deal out of it.Copy !req
89. It is a big deal.Copy !req
90. We're all proud of you.Copy !req
91. I'm glad, but before you agonize
over the next few daysCopy !req
92. over the board's decisionCopy !req
93. I want to assure you
that I'm not going to win.Copy !req
94. You don't know that.Copy !req
95. The work you've been doing
deserves to be recognized.Copy !req
96. But this isn't about my work.Copy !req
97. Do you know what the
average life expectancyCopy !req
98. of a Carrington Award
winner is? Five years.Copy !req
99. Ten at the very best...
and do you know why?Copy !req
100. Because the Carrington
Award is intended to beCopy !req
101. the crowning achievement
for a lifetime in medicine.Copy !req
102. April Wade is 106.Copy !req
103. The last time she was
nominated, three years agoCopy !req
104. people said it was premature.Copy !req
105. You're exaggerating.Copy !req
106. Maybe... a little.Copy !req
107. But the undeniable truth
is I am way too youngCopy !req
108. to be a serious contender
for the Carrington.Copy !req
109. Now, put my name up
for nomination in 70 yearsCopy !req
110. and I promise you,
I will get very excited.Copy !req
111. But until then, I don't plan
on giving it much thought.Copy !req
112. That's a very mature attitude.Copy !req
113. You sound surprised.Copy !req
114. I'm actually astonished
but impressed.Copy !req
115. So then we don't
have to dwell on itCopy !req
116. for the next three days.Copy !req
117. I won't mention it again.Copy !req
118. I appreciate that, Jadzia.Copy !req
119. So who do you think's going
to win... Wade or P'Trell?Copy !req
120. A cup of millipede juice,
hold the shells.Copy !req
121. Rom!Copy !req
122. Rom! Rom!Copy !req
123. Did you call me, Brother?Copy !req
124. Would it be too much troubleCopy !req
125. for you to put
these empty bottlesCopy !req
126. in the replicator?Copy !req
127. Keeping my quarter's clean
is Nog's job.Copy !req
128. Except Nog is on the homeworld
visiting his grandmother.Copy !req
129. Then cleaning
will just have to waitCopy !req
130. until he gets back.Copy !req
131. No, it won't!Copy !req
132. Until the Nagus gives me
back my own quartersCopy !req
133. this is my home, too,
and I have had enoughCopy !req
134. of this mess.Copy !req
135. Clean it up now.Copy !req
136. I won't.Copy !req
137. Yes, you will.Copy !req
138. It's bad enough
I've had to put upCopy !req
139. with your constant
teeth-grinding every nightCopy !req
140. and your incessant ear-pickingCopy !req
141. but I will not tolerate
living like some...Copy !req
142. some Pakled refuse
merchant for another...Copy !req
143. Wait a minute.Copy !req
144. This is a bottle
of Aldebaran whiskey.Copy !req
145. Let me, Brother.Copy !req
146. I recognize this label.Copy !req
147. This is from my private stock.Copy !req
148. No, it's not.Copy !req
149. It most certainly is.Copy !req
150. Wait a minute.Copy !req
151. What's that over there, hmm?Copy !req
152. Trixian bubble juice?Copy !req
153. Nog's favorite.Copy !req
154. This came from my stockroom,
didn't it?Copy !req
155. Are you accusing my son
of being a thief?Copy !req
156. No.Copy !req
157. I'm accusing you
of being a thief.Copy !req
158. These table linens...Copy !req
159. this chair...Copy !req
160. that table...Copy !req
161. everything in here
comes from my bar.Copy !req
162. Not everything.Copy !req
163. When you're done cleaning upCopy !req
164. I'm going to conduct
a complete inventoryCopy !req
165. and find out exactly what
you've stolen from me.Copy !req
166. Now, get to work.Copy !req
167. No.Copy !req
168. I refuse.Copy !req
169. I work for youCopy !req
170. all day, Brother,
but here, I'm the boss.Copy !req
171. If you want this place
cleaned up, do it yourself.Copy !req
172. What I want is
my own quarters back.Copy !req
173. That makes two of us.Copy !req
174. Living with you was bad enough
when we were children.Copy !req
175. What do I do?Copy !req
176. You... think.Copy !req
177. What do you mean, I "think"?Copy !req
178. You stay up late every night,
plotting and scheming.Copy !req
179. And when you think, you mumble.Copy !req
180. And if there's anything
I can't standCopy !req
181. it's listening to you mumble.Copy !req
182. That does it.Copy !req
183. I have been accommodating
long enough.Copy !req
184. If the Nagus wants
to stay on the stationCopy !req
185. he's going to have to find
someplace else to live.Copy !req
186. Are you sure
this is a good idea?Copy !req
187. No one's seen the Nagus
since he got here.Copy !req
188. He must be working
on something important.Copy !req
189. If you disturb him,
he might get very angry.Copy !req
190. I'm not going to disturb him.Copy !req
191. You are.Copy !req
192. Me? Why not you?Copy !req
193. Zek likes meCopy !req
194. so I can't afford
to get on his bad side.Copy !req
195. On the other handCopy !req
196. he barely acknowledges
your existence.Copy !req
197. So, you have nothing to lose.Copy !req
198. Now, get in thereCopy !req
199. and tell the Nagus
he'll have to leave.Copy !req
200. And whatever happensCopy !req
201. don't let Maihar'du
intimidate you, hmm?Copy !req
202. Where are you going?Copy !req
203. Don't worry.Copy !req
204. If you need me,
I'll be close by.Copy !req
205. Rom!Copy !req
206. What can I do for you, my boy?Copy !req
207. Grand NagusCopy !req
208. forgive me for disturbing you.Copy !req
209. Who's disturbed?Copy !req
210. I've been hoping
someone would drop by.Copy !req
211. Now, come right in.Copy !req
212. Why, thank you.Copy !req
213. We'd be delighted.Copy !req
214. Quark, I knew you'd be
lurking around here someplace.Copy !req
215. Well, what are we
standing out here for?Copy !req
216. I've got something very exciting
to show you both.Copy !req
217. What happened to my furniture?Copy !req
218. I got rid of it.Copy !req
219. It was getting in the way
of my work.Copy !req
220. And what work was that,
Grand Nagus?Copy !req
221. If I may be so bold?Copy !req
222. I'm glad you asked.Copy !req
223. Maihar'du!Copy !req
224. The book.Copy !req
225. You are about to read
the shining triumph of my lifeCopy !req
226. the one thing I'll
always be remembered for.Copy !req
227. May I?Copy !req
228. By all means.Copy !req
229. "The Rules of AcquisitionCopy !req
230. revised for
the modern Ferengi. "Copy !req
231. You rewrote
the Rules of Acquisition.Copy !req
232. I hope you like them.Copy !req
233. Absorb...Copy !req
234. enjoy.Copy !req
235. Rom, do you know
what this means?Copy !req
236. Yes, it means we're going
to have to memorizeCopy !req
237. a whole new set of Rules.Copy !req
238. No, you idiot.Copy !req
239. It means we'll be
the first FerengiCopy !req
240. to benefit from Zek's wisdom.Copy !req
241. The knowledge
contained in this bookCopy !req
242. could make us both rich
beyond our wildest dreams.Copy !req
243. I'll be able to go
into business for myself?Copy !req
244. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
245. Turn the page, Brother,
turn the page.Copy !req
246. The First Rule of Acquisition
is...Copy !req
247. Go on.Copy !req
248. "If they want their money
back...Copy !req
249. Yes, yes.Copy !req
250. give it to them."Copy !req
251. "If they want their money
back...Copy !req
252. give it to them"?Copy !req
253. "Rule Number 21: Never place
profit before friendship."Copy !req
254. "Rule Number 22:
Latinum tarnishesCopy !req
255. but family is forever."Copy !req
256. "Rule 23: Money can never
replace dignity."Copy !req
257. Oh, skip to the end!Copy !req
258. Well, what is it?Copy !req
259. Oh, you're not going
to like it, Brother.Copy !req
260. I can take it.Copy !req
261. Tell me.Copy !req
262. "Rule Number 285:
A good deed is its own reward."Copy !req
263. Brother, are you all right?Copy !req
264. I... I... I just
have to sit down.Copy !req
265. No, take it away!Copy !req
266. Sorry.Copy !req
267. Got to think.
Got to think.Copy !req
268. There has to be some explanationCopy !req
269. or reason
for why he's doing this.Copy !req
270. Maybe we should ask him.Copy !req
271. No. Don't you see?Copy !req
272. He's testing us.Copy !req
273. Yes, that must be it.Copy !req
274. It's some kind of test.Copy !req
275. The book. The book.Copy !req
276. You want to hear more?Copy !req
277. No, but it must be
some kind of code.Copy !req
278. Read me the first word
of every Rule.Copy !req
279. "If... never... keep...Copy !req
280. "profit... a...Copy !req
281. good... smile... honesty."Copy !req
282. Enough!Copy !req
283. If never keep profit,
a good smile, honesty.Copy !req
284. What does it mean, Brother?Copy !req
285. It means absolutely nothing.Copy !req
286. Maybe if we hold the pages
up to the light.Copy !req
287. No, no. Uh...Copy !req
288. Ooh!Copy !req
289. Ahh! Ahh!Copy !req
290. Mmm... mmm...Copy !req
291. No, that's not it.Copy !req
292. The answer must be
right in front of us.Copy !req
293. I know!Copy !req
294. Maybe the Nagus has gone insane.Copy !req
295. Nonsense, the Nagus is the
most brilliant Ferengi alive.Copy !req
296. I've modeled my life after him.Copy !req
297. Don't ever let me
hear you speak that wayCopy !req
298. about him again.Copy !req
299. But what if he really
believes all this?Copy !req
300. How can he believe
this insanity?Copy !req
301. No, it has to be part of someCopy !req
302. brilliant, twisted,
devious plan.Copy !req
303. The Nagus isn't
like you and me, Rom.Copy !req
304. He thinks ten, sometimes
20 steps ahead.Copy !req
305. These Rules are probably
the key componentCopy !req
306. in some vast plot
to seize financial controlCopy !req
307. of the entire Quadrant.Copy !req
308. So what do we do?Copy !req
309. The only thing we can do.Copy !req
310. We put down this book...Copy !req
311. and we walk away.Copy !req
312. And when the Nagus feels ready,
he'll inform us of his plans.Copy !req
313. But until then, we have to act
as if we know nothing.Copy !req
314. I can do that.Copy !req
315. If never keep profit,
a good smile, honesty.Copy !req
316. Nah.Copy !req
317. Quark, my boy!Copy !req
318. What say we buy everyone
a drink?Copy !req
319. Put it on my tab.Copy !req
320. But why?Copy !req
321. Because it will
make everyone happy.Copy !req
322. And that will make me happy.Copy !req
323. It must all be part of his plan.Copy !req
324. Wheels within wheels, Brother.Copy !req
325. Drinks for everyone.Copy !req
326. Compliments of the Grand Nagus.Copy !req
327. Is there anything else
I can get you, Nagus?Copy !req
328. We just got in a shipmentCopy !req
329. of quality Hupyrian
beetle snuff.Copy !req
330. Actually, I've lost my taste
for beetle snuff.Copy !req
331. It might be fun for you and me,
but it's no fun for the beetles.Copy !req
332. Oh, and by the way, QuarkCopy !req
333. I just met the most lovely
young female.Copy !req
334. She came by your quarters
looking for you.Copy !req
335. Was her name Emi, by any chance?Copy !req
336. She wanted me to tell youCopy !req
337. that her family's ship
has arrived with the latinum.Copy !req
338. Aha! It's about time!Copy !req
339. Rom, watch the bar.Copy !req
340. We're finally going to get
rid of those stem bolts.Copy !req
341. I don't think so.Copy !req
342. But we have a contract.Copy !req
343. Which was never signed.Copy !req
344. And frankly, QuarkCopy !req
345. you were charging an outrageous
price for those stem bolts.Copy !req
346. She didn't seem to think so.Copy !req
347. Well, she did
once I explained it to her.Copy !req
348. You what?Copy !req
349. Well, I couldn't
allow you to take advantageCopy !req
350. of an innocent young female
like that, Quark.Copy !req
351. So I told her where she could
get all the stem boltsCopy !req
352. she needed... at wholesale.Copy !req
353. Wholesale?Copy !req
354. He told her where to get
them at wholesale.Copy !req
355. What am I going to doCopy !req
356. with a hundred gross
of stem bolts?Copy !req
357. My poor brother.Copy !req
358. Oh, don't worry about him.Copy !req
359. Eventually, he'll sell
those stem bolts...Copy !req
360. at a fair price.Copy !req
361. A fair price?Copy !req
362. Ah, I'm very confused.Copy !req
363. That's understandable.Copy !req
364. It'll take some time
to get used to the new ways.Copy !req
365. New ways...Copy !req
366. Walk with me, Rom.Copy !req
367. Your turn.Copy !req
368. Ah, I don't know about this.Copy !req
369. Would you rather play
a game of racquetball?Copy !req
370. Chief, since Keiko's
been on BajorCopy !req
371. we've played 106 games
of racquetball.Copy !req
372. Right. So throw a dart.Copy !req
373. I'm a bit rusty.Copy !req
374. So am I.Copy !req
375. I guess the smart money's
on Wade or P'Trell.Copy !req
376. That seems to be
the general consensus.Copy !req
377. I mean...Copy !req
378. Doctor Wade is very popularCopy !req
379. but P'Trell is doing
some amazing workCopy !req
380. in gerontological research.Copy !req
381. Which one do you
think will win?Copy !req
382. Either of them would be a worthy
recipient of the Carrington.Copy !req
383. Oh. Of course,
if I had my druthersCopy !req
384. the Award would go to you.Copy !req
385. Thank you.Copy !req
386. But let's face it.Copy !req
387. You don't stand a chance.Copy !req
388. You don't say.Copy !req
389. I mean, I know
you're talented...Copy !req
390. but I bet there's doctors
all over the Federation sayingCopy !req
391. "Julian Bashir,
who the hell is he?"Copy !req
392. Chief, you are absolutely right.Copy !req
393. I'm glad you agree.Copy !req
394. So...Copy !req
395. how much longer is Keiko
going to be on Bajor?Copy !req
396. Make sure the relief
shipment is sentCopy !req
397. by high-warp courier.Copy !req
398. And don't worry about the cost.Copy !req
399. Rom, what's all this?Copy !req
400. You're looking
at the Sector HeadquartersCopy !req
401. for the Ferengi
Benevolent Association.Copy !req
402. Brother, I don't have time
to talk to you.Copy !req
403. I have work to do.Copy !req
404. I'm the new Senior AdministratorCopy !req
405. of the Ferengi
Benevolent Association.Copy !req
406. You know, Brother, I never
realized how many peopleCopy !req
407. there are that could
use a little help.Copy !req
408. If you don't get
down to the bar right nowCopy !req
409. you're the one going
to need a little help.Copy !req
410. The Nagus said
you'd react like this.Copy !req
411. The Nagus is a smart man.Copy !req
412. Oh, he's more than that.Copy !req
413. He's a visionary.Copy !req
414. He has plans, Brother.Copy !req
415. And I'm going to be
a part of them.Copy !req
416. What would the Nagus
possibly want with you?Copy !req
417. Oh, he says I'm malleable.Copy !req
418. And that he's going to mold me
into a new kind of Ferengi...Copy !req
419. an evolved Ferengi.Copy !req
420. "Evolved"? Into what?Copy !req
421. I'm not sure, exactly.Copy !req
422. But the Nagus says
that the answers lieCopy !req
423. in his new Rules of Acquisition.Copy !req
424. He told me, "Rom,
it's time for the FerengiCopy !req
425. to move beyond greed."Copy !req
426. Beyond greed?Copy !req
427. There's nothing beyond greed.Copy !req
428. Greed is the purest,
most noble of emotions.Copy !req
429. Greed is dead.Copy !req
430. That's the Tenth
Rule of Acquisition.Copy !req
431. No, it's not.Copy !req
432. The Tenth Rule of Acquisition
is "greed is eternal."Copy !req
433. Not anymore.Copy !req
434. The Nagus is going to shakeCopy !req
435. the very foundation
of Ferengi society.Copy !req
436. And we're going
to be at his sideCopy !req
437. every step of the way.Copy !req
438. What do you mean, "we"?Copy !req
439. The Nagus has made youCopy !req
440. cochairman
of the Benevolent Association.Copy !req
441. Your name will figure
prominentlyCopy !req
442. on all our correspondence.Copy !req
443. He never mentioned
anything about that to me.Copy !req
444. The Nagus wouldn't dream
of excluding you, Brother.Copy !req
445. As soon as we get
the Benevolent AssociationCopy !req
446. established here, the NagusCopy !req
447. plans on returning
to the homeworldCopy !req
448. and we'll go with him.Copy !req
449. Think of it.Copy !req
450. You and I will be there
when Zek personally announcesCopy !req
451. the new Rules of AcquisitionCopy !req
452. on the Grand Steps
of the Sacred Marketplace.Copy !req
453. We'll be there, all right.Copy !req
454. And we'll probably
be right alongside of himCopy !req
455. when they throw him
from the SpireCopy !req
456. of the Tower of Commerce.Copy !req
457. The Tower of Commerce?Copy !req
458. But... that's
the tallest buildingCopy !req
459. in the Ferengi Alliance.Copy !req
460. A fall from that height
could... could... could...Copy !req
461. Exactly.Copy !req
462. Don't you see, Rom?Copy !req
463. There's something terribly
wrong with the Nagus.Copy !req
464. And we have to help him...Copy !req
465. before he gets us all killed.Copy !req
466. That tickles!Copy !req
467. Well, I must say,
for a Ferengi your ageCopy !req
468. you're in excellent health...Copy !req
469. aside from some vascular damage
to your mucus membranes.Copy !req
470. You really should stop
using that beetle snuff.Copy !req
471. As a matter of fact...
I already have.Copy !req
472. I'm glad to hear it.Copy !req
473. Does this mean
you'll have to go inCopy !req
474. for some exploratory surgery?Copy !req
475. Why would I do that?Copy !req
476. To find out
what's wrong with him.Copy !req
477. There's nothing
wrong with him, Quark.Copy !req
478. That's not true.Copy !req
479. There's something
deeply wrong with himCopy !req
480. and you have
to find out what it is.Copy !req
481. I've done every test
I can think of.Copy !req
482. There's no traumaCopy !req
483. brain damage, mental illness.Copy !req
484. His central nervous system's
working within normal parametersCopy !req
485. and his endocrine system's
in terrific shape.Copy !req
486. You see? I told you.Copy !req
487. They're like a couple
of nervous investorsCopy !req
488. always looking for trouble.Copy !req
489. Oh, well, I suppose
I should be flattered.Copy !req
490. Thank you, Doctor.Copy !req
491. You've been very helpful.Copy !req
492. No.Copy !req
493. Uh-uh.Copy !req
494. He's sick, I tell you.Copy !req
495. You have to perform more tests.Copy !req
496. Quark!Copy !req
497. If you don't get out of hereCopy !req
498. I'll perform more tests on you.Copy !req
499. You have to do something.Copy !req
500. Like what?Copy !req
501. Put him in stasis, keep him
from hurting himselfCopy !req
502. until you can figure out
what is wrong with him.Copy !req
503. I don't think that's necessary.Copy !req
504. I can't believe
you're supposed to beCopy !req
505. one of the five best doctors
in the Federation.Copy !req
506. If you ask me, you're a quack.Copy !req
507. No wonder everyone says
you don't have a chanceCopy !req
508. to win the Carrington.Copy !req
509. Let's go.Copy !req
510. Maybe we can make an appointment
for you to see Doctor Wade.Copy !req
511. Good luck.Copy !req
512. If I remember correctlyCopy !req
513. Nairobi is beautiful
this time of year.Copy !req
514. Here, Doctor, for your trouble.Copy !req
515. I can't accept that.Copy !req
516. Why not?
It's only money.Copy !req
517. Donate it to charity
if you'd like.Copy !req
518. And you say he's not sick.Copy !req
519. Oh, and, DoctorCopy !req
520. I do hope you'll attend
tomorrow night's ceremony.Copy !req
521. Ceremony?Copy !req
522. At the Bajoran Shrine
on the Promenade.Copy !req
523. I intend to give a gift
to the Bajoran people.Copy !req
524. A gift.
What kind of gift?Copy !req
525. It's a surprise.Copy !req
526. You'll find out tomorrow night,
like everyone else.Copy !req
527. Come along, we have a lot
of work to do before then.Copy !req
528. So many needy people...Copy !req
529. so little time.Copy !req
530. Aren't you done yet?Copy !req
531. Breaking into the Nagus's
personal shuttleCopy !req
532. somehow seems wrong, Brother.Copy !req
533. I don't care.Copy !req
534. I have to know what he intends
to give the Bajorans.Copy !req
535. But the Nagus wants
it to be a surprise.Copy !req
536. I hate surprises.Copy !req
537. Now hurry it up,
before someone...Copy !req
538. Maihar'du.Copy !req
539. As you can see, my brother and ICopy !req
540. were repairing the door locks
on the Nagus's...Copy !req
541. This is the gift?Copy !req
542. What is it?Copy !req
543. It's one of the missing
Bajoran Orbs, Rom.Copy !req
544. An Orb of the Prophets.Copy !req
545. I tell you, this Orb
explains everything...Copy !req
546. Zek's behavior, the new RulesCopy !req
547. the Ferengi Benevolent
Association, everything.Copy !req
548. It does? How?Copy !req
549. I'm not sure,
but I'm going to find out.Copy !req
550. Don't just stand there...
talk to me.Copy !req
551. I know how you feel.Copy !req
552. What are you doing?Copy !req
553. I thought we should look inside.Copy !req
554. I mean, we don't know
for certainCopy !req
555. that there's an Orb in here.Copy !req
556. Maybe Zek's just
giving them the box.Copy !req
557. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
558. But how will we know
unless we look?Copy !req
559. Rom, it's too dangerous.
Leave it alone.Copy !req
560. But, Brother!Copy !req
561. I said leave it alone!Copy !req
562. Rom? Maihar'du?Copy !req
563. Morn?Copy !req
564. Anybody?Copy !req
565. What's the matter, Quark?Copy !req
566. Spinning out of control, are we?Copy !req
567. Grand Nagus?Copy !req
568. Maybe...Copy !req
569. maybe not.Copy !req
570. Looking for answers?Copy !req
571. You couldn't find them if they
were dangling from your lobes.Copy !req
572. Where's that old QuarkCopy !req
573. cleverness I've heard
so much about?Copy !req
574. Or are you
so paralyzed with fearCopy !req
575. that you can't think straight?Copy !req
576. Answer me, Quark.Copy !req
577. What are you so nervous about?Copy !req
578. Don't you think change
is worth dying for?Copy !req
579. All I want
is a little leap of faith.Copy !req
580. Nice catch.Copy !req
581. That's the wonderful thing
about mysteries.Copy !req
582. Sometimes the answers
just fall from the sky.Copy !req
583. What do you have to lose?Copy !req
584. Open it.Copy !req
585. Consider it a gift.Copy !req
586. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
587. Are you all right?Copy !req
588. A gift.Copy !req
589. A gift?Copy !req
590. Zek said the new Rules
were a gift.Copy !req
591. A gift from Zek
to the Ferengi people.Copy !req
592. No, a gift to Zek from them.Copy !req
593. Don't you see?Copy !req
594. They did it.Copy !req
595. They put the idea for the
new Rules into Zek's head.Copy !req
596. They changed him somehow.Copy !req
597. They did?
How dare they?Copy !req
598. Who are we talking about,
Brother?Copy !req
599. The Prophets, the aliens
that live inside the wormhole.Copy !req
600. They did this to him,
didn't they?Copy !req
601. Tell me everything!Copy !req
602. Easy, Brother.Copy !req
603. You know Hupyrian servantsCopy !req
604. take a vow only to speak
to their masters.Copy !req
605. You're right.Copy !req
606. Okay, give him a handkerchief
or something.Copy !req
607. I'm going to try to break
into Zek's personal logs.Copy !req
608. According to Zek's logs,
he obtained the OrbCopy !req
609. from one of his contacts
on Cardassia III.Copy !req
610. From there, he headed
straight for the wormhole.Copy !req
611. His ship's log shows
that he entered the wormholeCopy !req
612. stayed inside
for only a few minutesCopy !req
613. then reversed course
and came here.Copy !req
614. You think he went in there
to talk to the Prophets?Copy !req
615. In his personal logs,
Zek said...Copy !req
616. that the future was looking
very bright indeed.Copy !req
617. Don't you get it?Copy !req
618. According to DaxCopy !req
619. the wormhole aliens
can see through time.Copy !req
620. The Nagus must have thought
that he could convince themCopy !req
621. to let him see the future.Copy !req
622. That way, he could anticipateCopy !req
623. economic changes
throughout the galaxy.Copy !req
624. The opportunity for profit
would have been enormous.Copy !req
625. But instead, he created
the new Rules of Acquisition.Copy !req
626. Why?Copy !req
627. Something must have
gone terribly wrong.Copy !req
628. But I intend to set it right.Copy !req
629. How, Brother?Copy !req
630. I have an idea.Copy !req
631. Does it involve me?Copy !req
632. Not really.Copy !req
633. Ah. I like it.Copy !req
634. May I join you, Doctor?Copy !req
635. By all means.Copy !req
636. And what can I do for you?Copy !req
637. It's what I can do for you.Copy !req
638. I have a friend
at Starfleet IntelligenceCopy !req
639. and she has a friend
who has a cousinCopy !req
640. who's married to the assistant
of one of the membersCopy !req
641. of the Federation
Medical Council.Copy !req
642. Really?Copy !req
643. And according to my friend,
her friend heard somethingCopy !req
644. from his cousin
that his wife heardCopy !req
645. from the council memberCopy !req
646. that I thought you might
find interesting.Copy !req
647. Which is?Copy !req
648. Dr. Wade is not going
to win the Carrington.Copy !req
649. Oh, not you, too.Copy !req
650. Doctor, I thought
you'd be delighted.Copy !req
651. Even if that's true...Copy !req
652. and mind you,
I'm not saying that it is...Copy !req
653. the only one that has a reason
to celebrate is Ghee P'Trell.Copy !req
654. Perhaps, but P'Trell is by no
means as popular as Dr. Wade.Copy !req
655. According to your friend.Copy !req
656. Actually, according
to my friend's friend's...Copy !req
657. I get the picture.Copy !req
658. The point is,
if it's not going to be WadeCopy !req
659. it could be anyone...
P'Trell, Senva, Roget, even you.Copy !req
660. I didn't think
I was going to win beforeCopy !req
661. and I don't think
I'm going to win now.Copy !req
662. Is that a fact?Copy !req
663. Then why have you been working
on your acceptance speech?Copy !req
664. How did you know?Copy !req
665. Just a guess.Copy !req
666. My goodness, I never
realized solar flaresCopy !req
667. could be so devastating
to a planet's agriculture.Copy !req
668. Now, let me see,
at current market ratesCopy !req
669. 2,000 tons of Kohlanese barleyCopy !req
670. would cost me a 189 bars
of gold-pressed latinum.Copy !req
671. But it's worth it.Copy !req
672. I can have the first
shipment of barleyCopy !req
673. on the way to you in the...Copy !req
674. Hold on, I'll be right back.Copy !req
675. How can I help you, boys?Copy !req
676. Wait.Copy !req
677. I have to be sure
that he's all right.Copy !req
678. Grand Nagus, can you hear me?Copy !req
679. Are you okay?Copy !req
680. Don't worry, Quark,
I forgive you.Copy !req
681. Do you hear that?Copy !req
682. We have to help him.Copy !req
683. Brother, this is
a very brave thingCopy !req
684. you're doing...Copy !req
685. taking the Nagus
back to the wormhole.Copy !req
686. I wish I could come with you...
but I can't.Copy !req
687. Good-bye.Copy !req
688. Go on, get out of here
before you have me crying, too.Copy !req
689. Don't worry.Copy !req
690. Everything's going to be okay.Copy !req
691. You know, my boy, I should be
very angry with you.Copy !req
692. Are you?Copy !req
693. Ah, not in the slightest.Copy !req
694. I can't help myself.Copy !req
695. I like you!Copy !req
696. Now, where have you taken me?Copy !req
697. Into the wormhole.Copy !req
698. What's going on?Copy !req
699. Huh. This is
exactly what happenedCopy !req
700. the last time I was in here.Copy !req
701. The wormhole aliens
are delightful peopleCopy !req
702. but they like their privacy.Copy !req
703. So you did meet them.Copy !req
704. How did you make contact?Copy !req
705. Well, I see you've brought
the Orb of Wisdom with you.Copy !req
706. That should do the trick.Copy !req
707. Now, if you really want
to get their attentionCopy !req
708. open the box.Copy !req
709. That's what I did.Copy !req
710. Sounds simple enough.Copy !req
711. You better hurry.Copy !req
712. I got the dampening field
on this shipCopy !req
713. for a substantial discount.Copy !req
714. Hello?Copy !req
715. Hello?
Is anyone there?Copy !req
716. It is corporeal.Copy !req
717. Doctor, what are you
doing in here?Copy !req
718. A physical entity.Copy !req
719. Not another one.Copy !req
720. I get it.Copy !req
721. You're the wormhole aliens.Copy !req
722. Or would you rather be
called the Prophets?Copy !req
723. I never could figure
that one out.Copy !req
724. Did the Sisko send you?Copy !req
725. What?Copy !req
726. Sisko?Copy !req
727. What does he have to do
with anything?Copy !req
728. The Sisko taught us
about corporeal life-forms.Copy !req
729. About linguistic communication.Copy !req
730. And linear time.Copy !req
731. I know all about it.Copy !req
732. He's quite a guyCopy !req
733. but I'm not here
to talk about Sisko.Copy !req
734. Then why are you here?Copy !req
735. I'm here to talk
about the Nagus.Copy !req
736. The Nagus?Copy !req
737. The other Ferengi
who visited you.Copy !req
738. The one who brought the Orb.Copy !req
739. We are aware of the Zek.Copy !req
740. He came to see you
to ask for help.Copy !req
741. He wanted to learn
about the future.Copy !req
742. The Zek wanted to know
the outcome of the gameCopy !req
743. before it was played.Copy !req
744. That's right.Copy !req
745. So what went wrong?Copy !req
746. At first, we did not understand
the Zek's request.Copy !req
747. The Sisko said
that corporeal beingsCopy !req
748. value their linear existence.Copy !req
749. The Zek wanted
to understand eventsCopy !req
750. outside the restrictions
of linear time.Copy !req
751. He wanted to see the futureCopy !req
752. so he could gain by it.Copy !req
753. Yes, the Zek explained
the value of gain...Copy !req
754. how more is preferable to less.Copy !req
755. He taught you about profit.Copy !req
756. We found the concept...Copy !req
757. aggressive.Copy !req
758. Adversarial.Copy !req
759. Dangerous.Copy !req
760. We could not comprehend
how any species could leadCopy !req
761. such a barren existence.Copy !req
762. It has its advantages.Copy !req
763. We don't agree.Copy !req
764. We found the Zek's adversarial
nature invasive, threatening.Copy !req
765. We examined
your species' history.Copy !req
766. The totality of your existence.Copy !req
767. We discovered that you have not
always been as you are now.Copy !req
768. We haven't?Copy !req
769. There was a timeCopy !req
770. when your people's
acquiring natureCopy !req
771. was not so pronounced.Copy !req
772. Wait a second.Copy !req
773. Are you telling me that you
somehow de-evolved the Nagus?Copy !req
774. We have restored
the Zek to an earlierCopy !req
775. less adversarial
state of existence.Copy !req
776. You can't do that.Copy !req
777. The Nagus is the financial
leader of billions of Ferengi.Copy !req
778. I demand that you re-evolve
him immediately.Copy !req
779. This one is adversarial, too.Copy !req
780. Aggressive.Copy !req
781. Intrusive.Copy !req
782. We should do to this one
what we did with the other:Copy !req
783. Restore it
to a purer existence.Copy !req
784. Counteract its
adversarial nature.Copy !req
785. Wait, let's not be hasty.Copy !req
786. There's nothing wrong
with acquiring profit.Copy !req
787. That is what the Zek said.Copy !req
788. And he was right.Copy !req
789. Look, I don't know
how you people liveCopy !req
790. but all of us corporeal,
linear whateversCopy !req
791. have certain things in common.Copy !req
792. And one of those things is...Copy !req
793. the need to improve ourselves.Copy !req
794. Our ambition
to improve ourselvesCopy !req
795. motivates everything we do.Copy !req
796. Without ambition, without...
dare I say it? greedCopy !req
797. people would lie around
all day doing nothing.Copy !req
798. They wouldn't work.Copy !req
799. They wouldn't bathe.Copy !req
800. They wouldn't even eat.Copy !req
801. They'd starve to death.Copy !req
802. Is that what you want?Copy !req
803. Are you so isolated
and detachedCopy !req
804. that you would sit back
and allow the extinctionCopy !req
805. of every corporeal being
in the galaxy?Copy !req
806. Your argument is specious.Copy !req
807. Changing you will not result
in the terminationCopy !req
808. of all corporeal existence.Copy !req
809. All right.Copy !req
810. So maybe I exaggerated a little.Copy !req
811. We should alter this oneCopy !req
812. and return it
to its own species.Copy !req
813. Agreed.Copy !req
814. It is best to avoid contact
with this species.Copy !req
815. Wait. If you don't want
to have any more contactCopy !req
816. with the Ferengi,
that's fine with meCopy !req
817. but by altering me,
you won't be avoiding contactCopy !req
818. you'll be encouraging it.Copy !req
819. My people are very inquisitive,
and if you change meCopy !req
820. they're going to want to know
what happenedCopy !req
821. and they're going
to come here to find outCopy !req
822. just as I came to find out
what happened to Zek.Copy !req
823. That is linear.Copy !req
824. And potentially
very annoying to you.Copy !req
825. But, on the other hand,
if you leave me aloneCopy !req
826. and you put the Nagus back
the way he was when you met himCopy !req
827. I guarantee you,
you'll never have to talkCopy !req
828. with another Ferengi again.Copy !req
829. So what do you say?Copy !req
830. Linguistic communication
is tiresome.Copy !req
831. My point exactly.Copy !req
832. Which is why I think
you should send me ba...Copy !req
833. Quark.Copy !req
834. Quark!Copy !req
835. Quark...Copy !req
836. are you all right?Copy !req
837. I think so.Copy !req
838. What about you?Copy !req
839. Oh, stop toadying up to me,
Quark, it's revolting.Copy !req
840. Just get me out of here.Copy !req
841. I have an Orb to sell
to the Bajorans.Copy !req
842. Did you say "sell"?Copy !req
843. I'm going to make them pay
through the nose.Copy !req
844. Speaking of nose,
where is my beetle snuff?Copy !req
845. Oh, Nagus, you're back.Copy !req
846. I'm so happy.Copy !req
847. You're wrinkling my suit.Copy !req
848. Whatever you say.Copy !req
849. And now, it is with great pride
that I present the nomineesCopy !req
850. for this year's
Carrington Award.Copy !req
851. They are Dr. April Wade,
Senva of VulcanCopy !req
852. Dr. Henri Roget,
Chirurgeon Ghee P'TrellCopy !req
853. and Dr. Julian Bashir.Copy !req
854. Good luck.Copy !req
855. The winner is...Copy !req
856. Doctor...Copy !req
857. Henri Roget.Copy !req
858. Roget.Copy !req
859. How could they give it to Roget?Copy !req
860. Better luck next time.Copy !req
861. Maybe... in 40 or 50 years.Copy !req
862. Julian.Copy !req
863. Sorry.Copy !req
864. You seem to be
handling this well.Copy !req
865. Believe me...Copy !req
866. I'm not.Copy !req
867. I didn't think so.Copy !req
868. Now, remember
what I said, Quark.Copy !req
869. If anyone asks, you have
no idea what happenedCopy !req
870. to the charity money.Copy !req
871. You can count on me.Copy !req
872. And you're sure you've
destroyed every last copyCopy !req
873. of The Revised Rules
of Acquisition?Copy !req
874. The only place the new Rules
exist is inside my head.Copy !req
875. Eh?Copy !req
876. Uh...Copy !req
877. don't worry.Copy !req
878. Within a weekCopy !req
879. he'll have forgotten them all.Copy !req
880. He'd better.Copy !req
881. I don't believe it, Brother.Copy !req
882. After all you did for the Nagus,
he never even thanked you.Copy !req
883. He doesn't have to thank me...
he's the Nagus.Copy !req
884. There's only one thing
that bothers me.Copy !req
885. Don't get me wrong.Copy !req
886. I was honored
to help the Nagus.Copy !req
887. But it would have been
nice if I'd been ableCopy !req
888. to make a little profit
for all my troubles.Copy !req
889. That's all right.Copy !req
890. I made enough profit
for the both of us.Copy !req
891. What are you talking about?Copy !req
892. I'm talking about the Ferengi
Benevolent Association.Copy !req
893. Did you know it was funded
with Zek's personal fortune?Copy !req
894. I was the Senior
Administrator, Brother.Copy !req
895. You embezzled money?Copy !req
896. From the Nagus?Copy !req
897. Surprise.Copy !req
898. Father would be proud.Copy !req