1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Oh, a dark and stormy night.Copy !req
8. It's nights like this
that remind me of the timeCopy !req
9. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob
thought they killed
the health inspector.Copy !req
10. It was a bright
and sunny morning...Copy !req
11. Ah...Copy !req
12. That smells like...Copy !req
13. The health inspector!Copy !req
14. Wash your hands,
clean the floorsCopy !req
15. change
your underwear!Copy !req
16. The health
inspector's here!Copy !req
17. If he finds one
health violationCopy !req
18. he'll close us
down for good.Copy !req
19. We've got to
do everything
in our powerCopy !req
20. to make sure
he passes
The Krusty Krab.Copy !req
21. But, Mr. Krabs,
there's no reason to worry.Copy !req
22. The Krusty Krab is the most
perfect place in the universe.Copy !req
23. You really haven't got any
brains at all, have you, son?Copy !req
24. Just go out there and
give him what he needs.Copy !req
25. Pour on the charm.Copy !req
26. Sweet-talk him.Copy !req
27. What can I get for
you... Handsome?Copy !req
28. We're doomed!Copy !req
29. I'm going to need you
to bring meCopy !req
30. one of everything on the menu.Copy !req
31. Excellent choice, my darling.Copy !req
32. Coming right up!Copy !req
33. He wants one of everything!Copy !req
34. Then we'll give him
a smorgasbord!Copy !req
35. The future of The Krusty Krab
is at stake.Copy !req
36. Try the Crunchy
Kelp Dogs, sir.Copy !req
37. The Buttered Barnacles
are heaven.Copy !req
38. The Powdered Driftwood
is exquisite.Copy !req
39. Sludge Pudding?Copy !req
40. More Diet Red Tide?Copy !req
41. Fried Flotsam?Copy !req
42. Please, gentlemen!Copy !req
43. Leave me to finish my work
in peace.Copy !req
44. And did the voluptuous
inspector enjoy his meal?Copy !req
45. So far so good.Copy !req
46. I just need to try
a plain Krabby PattyCopy !req
47. and my inspection
will be finished.Copy !req
48. He says if he gets
one more Krabby PattyCopy !req
49. he'll pass us
for the inspection!Copy !req
50. Do you know what
this means, dear boy?Copy !req
51. We're in the clear!Copy !req
52. We interrupt this cancanCopy !req
53. for a special news bulletin.Copy !req
54. Be on the lookout for a manCopy !req
55. who's been passing himself off
as a health inspectorCopy !req
56. in order to obtain free food.Copy !req
57. That's all for now.Copy !req
58. Free... food..!Copy !req
59. Maybe we ought to tell our guy
about the phony impostor.Copy !req
60. You loony loofah!
He isthe impostor!Copy !req
61. We've been duped!Copy !req
62. Duped!Copy !req
63. Bamboozled!Copy !req
64. Smeckledorfed!Copy !req
65. That's not even a wordCopy !req
66. and I agree with ya!Copy !req
67. Look at him...Copy !req
68. I bet he never
changes his underpants.Copy !req
69. I bet he bites
whale bubbles.Copy !req
70. I bet his mom
bought him that hat.Copy !req
71. If that impostor
wants a Krabby Patty...Copy !req
72. Then, by Neptune,
we'll give him one!Copy !req
73. You're dancing with
the Krab man now!Copy !req
74. Join me, boy,
or you're fired.Copy !req
75. It doesn't seem right...Copy !req
76. but it feels so good!Copy !req
77. Sea horse radish, the
gnarliest stuff in the ocean!Copy !req
78. Oh, hold on! I've got a jar of
toenail clippings in my office.Copy !req
79. Oops, I dropped it
in the toilet.Copy !req
80. Well, fish it out and
I'll dry it with me gym socks!Copy !req
81. MR.
Why, that's the most diabolical
Krabby Patty ever spawned.Copy !req
82. I call it...
The Nasty Patty.Copy !req
83. Hey, hurry up
with that patty!Copy !req
84. Here you are sir, enjoy.Copy !req
85. Ah! Hello, delicious!Copy !req
86. Come to papa.Copy !req
87. Listen! He ate it!Copy !req
88. Look at him choke!Copy !req
89. Look at him suffer!Copy !req
90. Did you see that boy?Copy !req
91. Oh, man,
the look on his face!Copy !req
92. We interrupt your laughter
at other people's expenseCopy !req
93. to bring you this news flash!Copy !req
94. The fake inspector
has been captured.Copy !req
95. Here is his picture.Copy !req
96. If a health inspector
comes to your restaurantCopy !req
97. and he's not this guy...
he's real.Copy !req
98. Phew! That's a relief,
eh, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
99. I'm sure our guy
will understandCopy !req
100. if we just explain
the situation.Copy !req
101. Then we can all have
a good laugh about it.Copy !req
102. I don't think
he'll be laughing, boy.Copy !req
103. Why, sir?Copy !req
104. Because that patty
killed him!Copy !req
105. Mr. Krabs, what
are we gonna do?Copy !req
106. What's this "we" stuff?Copy !req
107. You fed him
the tainted patty!Copy !req
108. Looks like it's
the stony lonesome for you.Copy !req
109. But you told me
to give it to him!Copy !req
110. Well, you could have
talked me out of it!Copy !req
111. You're right, Mr. Krabs...
I'm guilty!Copy !req
112. I'll never survive in prison.Copy !req
113. They'll mop up the floor
with me!Copy !req
114. Get a hold
of yerself, boy!Copy !req
115. We got to get rid
of this bodyCopy !req
116. before anyone sees it.Copy !req
117. We got to take it out
and bury it.Copy !req
118. Eww, gross, germs.Copy !req
119. It's all icky
and corpse-y!Copy !req
120. Eww... eww...Copy !req
121. This should be far enough.Copy !req
122. Now, get diggin'!Copy !req
123. Yes, sir.Copy !req
124. What's the holdup
down there?Copy !req
125. There's a big rock
in the way!Copy !req
126. Well, toss it out
and get back to diggin'!Copy !req
127. Aye, aye, sir!Copy !req
128. Oh... where am I?Copy !req
129. Somethin' ain't
quite right.Copy !req
130. What do you mean,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
131. His head's sticking out!Copy !req
132. Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I thought
he might need some air.Copy !req
133. They don't need air
where he's goin'.Copy !req
134. Shouldn't we say a few
words on his behalf?Copy !req
135. Uh... he was a credit
to health inspectors
everywhere, and, uh...Copy !req
136. What a brave man, going in
the line of duty like that.Copy !req
137. Why... why... why..?Copy !req
138. Listen here,
ya little barnacle.Copy !req
139. No one, and I mean no one
can ever know about this.Copy !req
140. It'll be the end of you,
it'll be the end of me.Copy !req
141. And worst of all,
it'll be the end of me!Copy !req
142. Stop right where you are!Copy !req
143. I'm afraid we're gonna have to
arrest the two of you.Copy !req
144. Mr. Krabs!
I'm too young
to go to jail!Copy !req
145. And what would be
the charges?Copy !req
146. For not being
at The Krusty KrabCopy !req
147. to whip us up a couple of
dee... licious Krabby Patties.Copy !req
148. Laugh, boy.Copy !req
149. Put that muddy shovel
in the trunkCopy !req
150. and we'll give you
a ride back.Copy !req
151. SpongeBob,
listen carefully.Copy !req
152. We're just getting a lift
back to the Krusty Krab.Copy !req
153. I need you to stay calm
and don't lose your cool,
understand?Copy !req
154. Can I lose my cool now?Copy !req
155. Why?Copy !req
156. Aah!Copy !req
157. Put him in the trunk, boy!Copy !req
158. I'll keep them cops busy.Copy !req
159. What's the holdup
back there?Copy !req
160. Oh, Neptune!Copy !req
161. Get away!Copy !req
162. Ooh... ahh-ahh...Copy !req
163. A-hem...Copy !req
164. Okay! All set
back here.Copy !req
165. Nothing unusual about
a muddy shovel in the trunk.Copy !req
166. All set.Copy !req
167. Ahh...Copy !req
168. You okay there,
little fella?Copy !req
169. Ooh, he gets carsick
real easy.Copy !req
170. Well, buckle up and
we'll drive real smooth-like.Copy !req
171. Now listen, SpongeBobCopy !req
172. when we get
to the Krusty KrabCopy !req
173. I want you to takeCopy !req
174. that shovelCopy !req
175. and bring it around
to the back entranceCopy !req
176. and stuff... er...
I mean, stow it
in the freezer.Copy !req
177. Un... der... stand?Copy !req
178. I understand, Mr. KrabsCopy !req
179. but what do you want me
to do with the bo...Copy !req
180. tles of soda!
Bottles of soda.Copy !req
181. Same thing, put 'em
in the freezer.Copy !req
182. Oh...Copy !req
183. Eww... eww... eww...Copy !req
184. Oh, man, this is so gross!Copy !req
185. The back door is locked!Copy !req
186. What am I gonna do?Copy !req
187. Ahoy there, SpongeBob.Copy !req
188. Heh. I thought
you were out backCopy !req
189. takin' care of that shovel.Copy !req
190. Well, the back door was locked,
so I came around here... eh.Copy !req
191. So if you'll excuse meCopy !req
192. I'm gonna go put my hat
in the freezer now.Copy !req
193. Okey-dokey, SpongeBob.Copy !req
194. Is that kid okay?Copy !req
195. He's actin'
a little funny.Copy !req
196. Funny? Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
197. He's a real cut-up,
that one.Copy !req
198. He knows how to keep
the crew in stitches.Copy !req
199. Good one, boy!Copy !req
200. Always on, that one.Copy !req
201. There's no off
on his funny switch.Copy !req
202. Oh, ha, oh, stop it.Copy !req
203. Oh, you're,
you're killin' me.Copy !req
204. Oh!Copy !req
205. Look, I almost forgot!Copy !req
206. It's open cash
register night!Copy !req
207. First two customers
get all the moneyCopy !req
208. in the cash register!Copy !req
209. 86 those patties, Krabs.Copy !req
210. We just got a call
about two ghoulsCopy !req
211. burying a stiff
over by Shallow Grave Road.Copy !req
212. I want a soda.Copy !req
213. Here's your soda.Copy !req
214. Always a pleasure.Copy !req
215. Well, good-bye now.Copy !req
216. Hey, there's no ice.Copy !req
217. Ice? Ice? You want ice?Copy !req
218. Is that what you want,
you want ice?Copy !req
219. The dark deed
you requestedCopy !req
220. is done, sir.Copy !req
221. Ice is in the freezer, ri...?Copy !req
222. There is no ice!Copy !req
223. There's never been any ice.Copy !req
224. Ice is just a myth!Copy !req
225. Step aside.Copy !req
226. You people act like
you've committed a murder!Copy !req
227. Okay! I confess!Copy !req
228. SpongeBob killed him!Copy !req
229. What? You can't pin
this whole rap on me!Copy !req
230. He was insane, out of control.Copy !req
231. He would have killed me, tooCopy !req
232. if you hadn't come along.Copy !req
233. It was all Mr. Krabs' idea.Copy !req
234. Put him down now,
he's a mad dog!Copy !req
235. He wears curlers
to bed!Copy !req
236. Wait! It's not
what you think!Copy !req
237. What are you two
talking about?Copy !req
238. We killed
the health inspectorCopy !req
239. buried him, and then stuffed
his body in the freezer.Copy !req
240. You mean in here?Copy !req
241. It's empty.Copy !req
242. Is this
some kind of joke?Copy !req
243. Yeah... a joke!Copy !req
244. Say, maybe he
turned into a zombieCopy !req
245. and walked out.Copy !req
246. Aah! It's the zombie!Copy !req
247. You guys should...Copy !req
248. Take that, you zombie!Copy !req
249. I'll take it
from here.Copy !req
250. Die, zombie!Copy !req
251. Good police work,
Officer Nancy.Copy !req
252. Hey, this guy's
not a zombie.Copy !req
253. He's just an ordinary
health inspector.Copy !req
254. Yes, and at the risk
of being hit againCopy !req
255. I'd like to present you
with this.Copy !req
256. Hey, Mr. Krabs, look.Copy !req
257. We passed the inspection!Copy !req
258. MR.
Come on, everybody!Copy !req
259. Krabby Patties
at half price!Copy !req
260. Well, not really.Copy !req
261. Oh boy, I'd like a Krabby Patty.Copy !req
262. Well, that's the story.Copy !req
263. Yes, theyare
all idiots, aren't they?Copy !req
264. See anything yet,
Patrick?Copy !req
265. I need my glasses.Copy !req
266. Hmm...Copy !req
267. It's the mail truck!Copy !req
268. Our package!Copy !req
269. I didn't realize it was
Happy Hopping Moron Day.Copy !req
270. SpongeBob
SquarePants?Copy !req
271. That's me!Copy !req
272. That's a big box!Copy !req
273. Thank you.Copy !req
274. Hey, SpongeBob?Copy !req
275. When do we stop hopping?Copy !req
276. 30 more seconds,
Patrick.Copy !req
277. Probably ordered a lifetime
supply of bubble soap.Copy !req
278. Huh? A brand new television?Copy !req
279. Easy... easy...Copy !req
280. Just when I thought they
couldn't get any stupider.Copy !req
281. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
282. You two ordered
a giant-screen televisionCopy !req
283. just so you could play
in the box?Copy !req
284. Pretty smart, huh?Copy !req
285. I thought
it wouldn't work.Copy !req
286. Yeah, that's quite
a plan there.Copy !req
287. Oh, but wait...Copy !req
288. There's something else
I wanted to ask you two.Copy !req
289. Now, what was it?Copy !req
290. Oh, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
291. Don't you two
have any brains?Copy !req
292. Squidward, we don't
need television.Copy !req
293. Not as long as we haveCopy !req
294. our imagina... tion.Copy !req
295. Wow! I never thought of it
that way.Copy !req
296. That's really something.Copy !req
297. Can I have your TV?Copy !req
298. With imagina... tion,
I can be anything I want.Copy !req
299. A pirate! Arr!Copy !req
300. A football player! Hup!Copy !req
301. A starfish.Copy !req
302. Patrick, you're
already a starfish.Copy !req
303. See, Squidward,
it works! You try!Copy !req
304. Okay, let's see...Copy !req
305. I'm imagining myself
watching TV...Copy !req
306. And there it is!Copy !req
307. Can I have it, SpongeBob?Copy !req
308. Sure, Squidward.Copy !req
309. Oh, boy, oh, boy!Copy !req
310. Okay, Squidward!Copy !req
311. If you change your mindCopy !req
312. we'll be in this box.Copy !req
313. Let's play
"mountain climbing adventure"!Copy !req
314. Let's go for it!Copy !req
315. Gloves?
Check!Copy !req
316. Hats?
Check!Copy !req
317. Underwear?
Uh... check!Copy !req
318. Okay, Patrick,
climb up thereCopy !req
319. and secure this rope.Copy !req
320. You got it!Copy !req
321. Patrick...
Patrick...Copy !req
322. Patrick!
You're going too high!Copy !req
323. I hope they put
some air holes in that box.Copy !req
324. Take it easy, Patrick!Copy !req
325. You've got to acclimate!Copy !req
326. I'll take it easy
when I'm dead!Copy !req
327. I'm
shaking hands
with Neptune!Copy !req
328. Whoo!
Excelsior!Copy !req
329. Where's that
remote?Copy !req
330. I am the lizard
king! Whoo!Copy !req
331. Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick!Copy !req
332. I think we should
keep our voices down!Copy !req
333. We might start
an avalanche!Copy !req
334. What?Copy !req
335. I said I think we should
keep our voices downCopy !req
336. in case of avalanches!Copy !req
337. What should we
keep down?Copy !req
338. Morons.Copy !req
339. Our voices!Copy !req
340. Will you two shut up!Copy !req
341. SpongeBob?Copy !req
342. Hold me.Copy !req
343. Hang in there, buddy,
the chopper is on the way!Copy !req
344. SpongeBob! My legs
are frozen solid.Copy !req
345. You'll have to cut
them off with a saw.Copy !req
346. No, Patrick,
I can't do that!Copy !req
347. Why not?Copy !req
348. Because I already cut off
my own arms.Copy !req
349. No..!Copy !req
350. What the..?Copy !req
351. How were you two
making that noise?Copy !req
352. What noise, Squidward?Copy !req
353. I could only hear the
sound of our laughter.Copy !req
354. Yes! But those sound effects:
the avalanche, the, the, the...Copy !req
355. Don't forget the
second avalanche.Copy !req
356. Forget it!Copy !req
357. I don't know why
I'm wasting my time out hereCopy !req
358. when I could be watching
my brand new television.Copy !req
359. Attention, climbers!
Please hold on!Copy !req
360. The saws are on the way!Copy !req
361. Yay!Copy !req
362. Aha!Copy !req
363. How are you doing that?Copy !req
364. First we establish
a base camp at 15,000 feet.Copy !req
365. The noises! How are you two
making those noises?Copy !req
366. That's easy,
all you need is a box...Copy !req
367. And imagina... tion!Copy !req
368. Are you trying to say
I have no imagination?Copy !req
369. I have more imagina... tion
in one tentacleCopy !req
370. than you two have
in your whole bodies!Copy !req
371. That's good.Copy !req
372. Now all you need
is a box!Copy !req
373. I'll show them!Copy !req
374. There's got to be one in here!Copy !req
375. Ah! This hat box
should do nicely.Copy !req
376. Why haven't I worn this yet?Copy !req
377. Grr... oh...Copy !req
378. Attention! We have
you surrounded!Copy !req
379. Come out
with your hands up!Copy !req
380. What do they want with me?Copy !req
381. What did I do?Copy !req
382. Obviously I violated
some new box-kicking law!Copy !req
383. Look, officers!
Everything's okay.Copy !req
384. I won't do it again!Copy !req
385. You'll never take me
alive, coppers!Copy !req
386. No, Johnny!
Don't do it!Copy !req
387. Grr...Copy !req
388. Whoopee, another box!Copy !req
389. I got to try to relax.Copy !req
390. Perhaps I can drown out their
childish games with a little TV.Copy !req
391. It is here that the boxes reach
their final stage of assembly.Copy !req
392. The equation is illustrated here
by this box.Copy !req
393. I couldn't afford
a present this yearCopy !req
394. so I got you this box.Copy !req
395. That's what I got you!Copy !req
396. Isn't there anything on
that isn't about boxes?Copy !req
397. And welcome back
to Championship Boxing.Copy !req
398. Heh-heh! I guess this is okay.Copy !req
399. I mean, it's not really
about boxes.Copy !req
400. I give up.Copy !req
401. Three... two... one...
blast off!Copy !req
402. How are they doing that?Copy !req
403. That was the most realistic
space launch I've ever heard.Copy !req
404. There must be an explanation.Copy !req
405. Think, Squidward, think!Copy !req
406. Shh!Copy !req
407. Squidward's such a jerk.Copy !req
408. Laugh at me, will they?Copy !req
409. All right, where is it?Copy !req
410. Here I am!Copy !req
411. Where's what,
Squidward?Copy !req
412. Don't "Where's what,
Squidward?" me!Copy !req
413. Where's the tape recorder?Copy !req
414. We don't have a tape
recorder, Squidward.Copy !req
415. Don't "We don't have a tape
recorder, Squidward" me.Copy !req
416. But we don't.Copy !req
417. We have a tape recorder box.Copy !req
418. All right! Make way, you two,
I'm comin' in!Copy !req
419. Welcome aboard,
Squidward.Copy !req
420. You've just set sail
on the S.S. Imagina... tion!Copy !req
421. Where our
only destinationCopy !req
422. is fantastic
adventure.Copy !req
423. Where do you want to
go first?Copy !req
424. No, no, don't mind me,
I'm just here to observe.Copy !req
425. But, Squidward,
don't you see?Copy !req
426. Waiting and watching?Copy !req
427. That's not what
the box is about.Copy !req
428. It's about
imagina... tion!Copy !req
429. All right, fine!Copy !req
430. Take me to Robot Pirate Island!Copy !req
431. I want to arm-wrestle
with cowboys on the moon!Copy !req
432. Just do it so I can
get back and watch TV.Copy !req
433. Okay, Squidward,
Robot Pirate Island
it is!Copy !req
434. Beep-beep-beep.Copy !req
435. Arr...Copy !req
436. Beep-boop-beep-boop.Copy !req
437. Ahoy, matey!Copy !req
438. Beep-beep.Copy !req
439. For that you'll
walk the plank!Copy !req
440. Grr...Copy !req
441. Why won't this thing
turn on?Copy !req
442. All right, fine!Copy !req
443. You don't want to show me,
I don't care!Copy !req
444. I've got better things
to doCopy !req
445. than pace the floorCopy !req
446. wondering how you two
work this thing.Copy !req
447. How do those two
work that thing?Copy !req
448. There's got to be
a secret buttonCopy !req
449. or a switch or something.Copy !req
450. I mean, listen to that!Copy !req
451. Now that sounds
like Robot Pirate Island.Copy !req
452. Think, Squidward, think!Copy !req
453. I got it!Copy !req
454. When those two go to bedCopy !req
455. I'll sneak in there
and find that button.Copy !req
456. I'll wait all night
if I have to!Copy !req
457. I need sleep to refuel
my imagination tanks!Copy !req
458. I still can't believeCopy !req
459. those pirates beat
all those robots!Copy !req
460. See you in the morning!Copy !req
461. Good night, Patrick!Copy !req
462. Hmm?Copy !req
463. Hello, what's this?Copy !req
464. "This plaque is to commemorateCopy !req
465. "the brave pirates
who gave their livesCopy !req
466. "to keep this box safe
from the Robot Menace.Copy !req
467. Lest we forget..."Copy !req
468. Oh! Got to find
that button quick!Copy !req
469. It's got to be here somewhere!Copy !req
470. I don't see anything!Copy !req
471. It's just an empty box!Copy !req
472. Maybe it really was
their imagination.Copy !req
473. Oh... get it together,
Squidward!Copy !req
474. What are you saying?Copy !req
475. I mean, do I really believeCopy !req
476. that if I sit here and
pretend to drive a race carCopy !req
477. that I'm suddenly going to
start hearing noises?Copy !req
478. What the?Copy !req
479. It actually works!Copy !req
480. I can't believe it.Copy !req
481. Oh, boy!
This beats TV by a long shot!Copy !req
482. This is the most fun
I've ever had!Copy !req
483. Listen to that, Gary.Copy !req
484. Squidward finally made
the box work after all!Copy !req
485. That is so great.Copy !req
486. Vroom-vroom! Only two more laps
till the finish line!Copy !req
487. I'm in the lead!
Out of my way!Copy !req
488. I'm almost there!Copy !req
489. Victory is mine!Copy !req
490. Aah!Copy !req
491. Hey! Our box is gone!Copy !req
492. Oh, well.Copy !req
493. I know! Let's go
see Squidward!Copy !req
494. I hope he's not too
down in the dumps today.Copy !req
495. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
496. Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBHCopy !req