1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Hi, mailman!Copy !req
8. Okay, see you tomorrow.Copy !req
9. Hey, the mail's here.Copy !req
10. What did you get?Copy !req
11. Let's see...Copy !req
12. Gary, Gary, Gary,
Gary, Gary, Gary—Copy !req
13. hey, a magazine!Copy !req
14. That's funny,
I don't rememberCopy !req
15. subscribing to
Fancy Living Digest.Copy !req
16. Whoa!Copy !req
17. Look at these
glossy depictionsCopy !req
18. of a higher
standard of living.Copy !req
19. This guy's so richCopy !req
20. he has a swimming pool
in his swimming pool.Copy !req
21. This guy's
got shoes!Copy !req
22. Give me that!Copy !req
23. Stealing my mail, eh?Copy !req
24. You're lucky
I don't report you
to the authorities!Copy !req
25. Hey, Squidward,Copy !req
26. how do those people
get all that money?Copy !req
27. They're entrepreneurs—
they sell things to people.Copy !req
28. What kind of things?Copy !req
29. How should I know?Copy !req
30. Things people
want to buy!Copy !req
31. Now, keep your paws
off my mail.Copy !req
32. That's it, Patrick!Copy !req
33. We got to become
entrepreneurs!Copy !req
34. Is that gonna hurt?Copy !req
35. Quick, if you
could have anythingCopy !req
36. in the world right now,
what would it be?Copy !req
37. Uh... more time for thinking!Copy !req
38. No, something real, an item,
something you would pay for.Copy !req
39. A chocolate bar?Copy !req
40. That's a great idea,
Pat!Copy !req
41. We'll be traveling
chocolate bar salesmen.Copy !req
42. Fancy living...Copy !req
43. here we come!Copy !req
44. Make way for a couple
of "entrepe-nooers"!Copy !req
45. Okay, Patrick, this is it,Copy !req
46. the first step on our
road to living fancy.Copy !req
47. Just follow my lead.Copy !req
48. Good afternoon, sir.Copy !req
49. Could we interest you
in some chocolate?Copy !req
50. Chocolate?Copy !req
51. Did you say "chocolate"?Copy !req
52. Yes, sir!Copy !req
53. With or without nuts?Copy !req
54. Chocolate?Copy !req
55. Chocolate?Copy !req
56. Chocolate!Copy !req
57. Chocolate!Copy !req
58. Chocolate!Copy !req
59. Chocolate!Copy !req
60. Okay, that first guy
didn't count.Copy !req
61. This is our real first step.Copy !req
62. Good morning, sir.Copy !req
63. Would you like to buy
some chocolate?Copy !req
64. Chocolate bars, eh?Copy !req
65. Yes, sir, we are
chocolate bar salesmen.Copy !req
66. A couple a mediocre salesmen,
if you ask me.Copy !req
67. That's no way to carry
your merchandise.Copy !req
68. No, no, no, wrong.Copy !req
69. You guys want to be
goodsalesmen, right?Copy !req
70. Oh, most certainly sir!Copy !req
71. Well, no self-respecting
candy bar salesmanCopy !req
72. would be caught dead
without one of these!Copy !req
73. Wow... what is it?Copy !req
74. It's a candy bar bag,
you knucklehead!Copy !req
75. It's specially
designedCopy !req
76. to cradle
each candy barCopy !req
77. in velvet-lined
comfort.Copy !req
78. But...Copy !req
79. I'm wasting my time.Copy !req
80. You don't need these bags.Copy !req
81. We need them!
We need them!Copy !req
82. So long, boys!Copy !req
83. Happy hunting!Copy !req
84. Suckers!Copy !req
85. ♪ Fancy living, here we comeCopy !req
86. Let's try next door.Copy !req
87. Yes?Copy !req
88. Huh?Copy !req
89. Say, weren't you
the same guyCopy !req
90. who sold us these
candy bar bags?Copy !req
91. I... don't recall.Copy !req
92. But it looks to meCopy !req
93. like you fellas have got
a lot of bags there.Copy !req
94. You two lady-killers are
too smart to beCopy !req
95. without one of my patented
candy bar bag carrying bags.Copy !req
96. We'll take 20!Copy !req
97. Oh, what can I do for
you two nice young men?Copy !req
98. We're selling
chocolate bars.Copy !req
99. Like to buy one?Copy !req
100. That sounds heavenly.Copy !req
101. I'll take one.Copy !req
102. One chocolate bar
coming up!Copy !req
103. Huh?Copy !req
104. Eh...Copy !req
105. Huh?Copy !req
106. Huh?Copy !req
107. Uh, uh, uh...Copy !req
108. I know they're
in here somewhere!Copy !req
109. I don't have
time for this.Copy !req
110. I got it!Copy !req
111. One chocolate bar
for the nice...Copy !req
112. Chocolate!Copy !req
113. Chocolate!Copy !req
114. Chocolate!Copy !req
115. Chocolate!Copy !req
116. We're not doing
so well, Patrick.Copy !req
117. We need a new approach...Copy !req
118. a new tactic!Copy !req
119. Huh...Copy !req
120. I got it— let's get naked!Copy !req
121. No, let's save that for when
we're selling real estate.Copy !req
122. There must be something!Copy !req
123. What was the reason
we bought those bags?Copy !req
124. He said we were mediocre.Copy !req
125. That's it—
he made us feel special.Copy !req
126. Yeah, he did.Copy !req
127. I'm going back
to buy more bags!Copy !req
128. No, wait, Patrick!Copy !req
129. Why don't we
try being nice?Copy !req
130. Oh... okay.Copy !req
131. Remember, Patrick,
flatter the customer.Copy !req
132. Make him feel good.Copy !req
133. Hello?Copy !req
134. I love you.Copy !req
135. You laid it on
a teensy thick
there, old pal.Copy !req
136. Let me try.Copy !req
137. Please. Go away!Copy !req
138. Um...Copy !req
139. Uh, uh, how ya doin'?Copy !req
140. How am I doing?Copy !req
141. Wanna buy
some chocolate?Copy !req
142. We got him now!Copy !req
143. Sorry, chocolate has sugar,Copy !req
144. and sugar turns to bubbling fat.Copy !req
145. Isn't that right, lover boy?Copy !req
146. It tickles!Copy !req
147. As you can see,
me and chocolate no longer hang.Copy !req
148. You can keep that
for five bucks.Copy !req
149. I'll take ten!Copy !req
150. We haven't sold
one chocolate bar.Copy !req
151. I have a feeling we're
too easily distracted.Copy !req
152. Huh?Copy !req
153. Let's make a pact
right nowCopy !req
154. that we will stay
focused on selling
at the next house.Copy !req
155. What?Copy !req
156. Let's shake on it.Copy !req
157. Did you say something?Copy !req
158. Remember, Patrick,
focus.Copy !req
159. Yes?Copy !req
160. Good afternoon, sir.Copy !req
161. We're selling
chocolate bars.Copy !req
162. Why is Chubby here
staring at me?Copy !req
163. Focusing.Copy !req
164. Back up, Jack!Copy !req
165. Nice place
you got here.Copy !req
166. I can't understand
what we're doing wrong.Copy !req
167. I can't understand
anything.Copy !req
168. There must be something
to this selling gameCopy !req
169. that we're just
not getting.Copy !req
170. Other people do it,
I mean, look at that!Copy !req
171. "Eat Barnacle Chips,
they're delicious."Copy !req
172. They are most certainly
not delicious!Copy !req
173. Not the way
I use them.Copy !req
174. Yet they sell
millions of bags a day.Copy !req
175. Well, maybe if they
didn't stretch the truth,Copy !req
176. they wouldn't sell as many.Copy !req
177. That's it, Patrick!Copy !req
178. We've got to
stretch the truth!Copy !req
179. Chocolate!Copy !req
180. We'll work as a team.Copy !req
181. Let me get this customer
warmed upCopy !req
182. and then you come in
for the kill.Copy !req
183. The kill.Copy !req
184. Yes?Copy !req
185. Hello, young lady.Copy !req
186. We're selling chocolate.Copy !req
187. Is your mother home?Copy !req
188. Mom!Copy !req
189. What? What?Copy !req
190. What's all
that yelling?Copy !req
191. You just can't waitCopy !req
192. for me to die, can you?Copy !req
193. They're selling
chocolate.Copy !req
194. Chocolate?
Yeah!Copy !req
195. What? What are
they selling?Copy !req
196. Chocolates!Copy !req
197. What? Chocolates!Copy !req
198. I can't hear you!Copy !req
199. They're selling
chocolates!Copy !req
200. They're selling
chocolate?Copy !req
201. Yeah!Copy !req
202. Chocolate?Copy !req
203. I remember when they first
invented chocolate.Copy !req
204. Sweet, sweet chocolate.Copy !req
205. I always hated it!Copy !req
206. Oh, but this chocolate's
not for eating.Copy !req
207. It's for...Copy !req
208. You rub it
on your skinCopy !req
209. and it makes you
live forever!Copy !req
210. No, no, no...Copy !req
211. Live forever,
you say?Copy !req
212. I'll take one.Copy !req
213. Come on,
you lazy Mary.Copy !req
214. Start rubbing me
with that chocolate!Copy !req
215. I hate you.Copy !req
216. If we keep
exaggerating the truth,Copy !req
217. we'll be fancy-living
in no time!Copy !req
218. Hooray for lying!Copy !req
219. It'll make
your hair grow.Copy !req
220. Great!Copy !req
221. My wife's trying
to grow a beard.Copy !req
222. It'll make you
sound smart.Copy !req
223. I'll take 20!Copy !req
224. It'll keep your face
from getting any uglier.Copy !req
225. Just in time.Copy !req
226. They make you fly.Copy !req
227. You'll fall in love.Copy !req
228. They'll bring world peace!Copy !req
229. You'll walk through walls!Copy !req
230. You'll rule the world!Copy !req
231. This'll be the best lie yet!Copy !req
232. Yeah!Copy !req
233. This guy will feel
so sorry for us,Copy !req
234. he'll have to buy
all of our chocolate!Copy !req
235. What can I do for you boys?Copy !req
236. Hello, would you like
to buy a chocolate bar?Copy !req
237. We need an operation.Copy !req
238. Really?Copy !req
239. Small world.Copy !req
240. What's the matter with you guys?Copy !req
241. Uh...Copy !req
242. We've got some head trauma
and eternal bleeding.Copy !req
243. Some guys have all the luck.Copy !req
244. I was born with glass bones
and paper skin.Copy !req
245. Every morning I break my legsCopy !req
246. and every afternoon
I break my arms.Copy !req
247. At night I lie awake
in agonyCopy !req
248. until my heart attacks
put me to sleep.Copy !req
249. Oh, no!Copy !req
250. Ow.Copy !req
251. Quick, Patrick,
let's help him.Copy !req
252. Careful.Copy !req
253. Put him down gently.Copy !req
254. Ow...Copy !req
255. Poor, poor man.Copy !req
256. If there's anything—
anything—Copy !req
257. we can do
to help you...Copy !req
258. There is one thing.Copy !req
259. As you can well imagine,Copy !req
260. my medical bills
are extremely high,Copy !req
261. but luckily I'm able
to keep myself aliveCopy !req
262. by selling... chocolate bars.Copy !req
263. Such nice boys.Copy !req
264. It does my heart good...Copy !req
265. to con a couple of class-A
sucker-roonies like those two!Copy !req
266. Don't get me wrong,
Patrick,Copy !req
267. it's great that
we helped him out,Copy !req
268. but there's no one left in town
to sell chocolate bars to.Copy !req
269. Whoa!Copy !req
270. Let's face it, Patrick,
we're failures.Copy !req
271. I can live
with that.Copy !req
272. Let's change our names
to "Why" and "Bother."Copy !req
273. Chocolate!Copy !req
274. No, no, don't
hurt us!
Please...Copy !req
275. Finally!Copy !req
276. I've been trying to catch
you boys all day!Copy !req
277. Now that I've got you
right where I want you...Copy !req
278. I'd like to buy
all your chocolate.Copy !req
279. Thank you for
your patronage.Copy !req
280. Are we living the fancy life
yet, SpongeBob?Copy !req
281. Not yet, pally.Copy !req
282. First we got to spend
all the money.Copy !req
283. But what are we going
to spend it on?Copy !req
284. Hmm...Copy !req
285. Good evening, sir.Copy !req
286. Table for one,
please.Copy !req
287. Sorry, but the whole restaurant
has been rentedCopy !req
288. to a private party.Copy !req
289. But it's my only night
to be fancy!Copy !req
290. Oh, who could afford to rent out
the whole restaurant?Copy !req
291. Oh, a couple of
rich entrepreneurs
and their dates.Copy !req
292. So, how long have
you two ladies
known each other?Copy !req
293. What?Copy !req
294. What did he say?Copy !req
295. In a familiar restaurant
in a familiar part of town,Copy !req
296. a call goes out in frustration.Copy !req
297. Will you hurry up?Copy !req
298. A call that would
normally be answeredCopy !req
299. by Bikini Bottom's
semiretired champions—Copy !req
300. if they weren't the ones
causing the problem.Copy !req
301. Now, let's see.Copy !req
302. I want a... no...Copy !req
303. I want a... uh...Copy !req
304. Uh, no... uh... hmm.Copy !req
305. Sir, will you please
order already?Copy !req
306. You're holding up the line.Copy !req
307. Uh...Copy !req
308. Psst— hey, Mermaidman,
get a Krabby Patty.Copy !req
309. I've made my decision!Copy !req
310. One Krabby Patty for meCopy !req
311. and a Pip-squeak Patty
for the boy.Copy !req
312. Now, wait just a darn minute.Copy !req
313. I don't want a Pip-squeak Patty!Copy !req
314. I want an adult-sized
Krabby Patty!Copy !req
315. The Krabby Patty
is too big for you.Copy !req
316. You'll never finish it.Copy !req
317. Don't you see
what you're doing?Copy !req
318. You're treating me
like a child!Copy !req
319. The boy's eyes are bigger
than his stomach!Copy !req
320. And that's another thing!Copy !req
321. I'm not a boy!Copy !req
322. I'm so old I've got hairsCopy !req
323. growing out of the wrinkles
on my liver spots!Copy !req
324. One Pip-squeak Patty...Copy !req
325. And your bib and high chair.Copy !req
326. I'm 68 years old
and I want a Krabby Patty!Copy !req
327. Your Pip-squeak
is getting cold.Copy !req
328. Shall I feed you?Copy !req
329. Feed this, old man!Copy !req
330. Ooh!Copy !req
331. I'm tired of playing
second bananaCopy !req
332. to a man
who wears a bra!Copy !req
333. From now on, I want
to be called Barnacleman!Copy !req
334. And I'm through with
protecting citizensCopy !req
335. that don't respect me!Copy !req
336. I respect you, Barnacleman!Copy !req
337. That's Barnacleboy, I...!Copy !req
338. I mean man!Copy !req
339. Oh...Copy !req
340. Forget you people.Copy !req
341. I say if you're not
going to give meCopy !req
342. any respect
as a hero,Copy !req
343. then maybe you'll give me
respect as a villain.Copy !req
344. A villain who is... evil.Copy !req
345. Evil?Copy !req
346. Evil?Copy !req
347. Evil!Copy !req
348. I'm crossing over
to the dark side.Copy !req
349. I should waste money
lighting the whole store?Copy !req
350. Did someone
say "evil"?Copy !req
351. Holy oil spill!Copy !req
352. It's Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy's
arch enemies,Copy !req
353. Man Ray and
the Dirty Bubble!Copy !req
354. Nighty-night, you old goat!Copy !req
355. Nighty-night.Copy !req
356. Will you tuck me in?Copy !req
357. We interrupt
your bleak and meaningless livesCopy !req
358. for this special news break.Copy !req
359. Man Ray...Copy !req
360. the Dirty Bubble...Copy !req
361. and now, playing for
the dark side, Barnacleboy...Copy !req
362. Barnacleman!Copy !req
363. Have been committing a series of
crimes throughout Bikini Bottom.Copy !req
364. Shh!Copy !req
365. I'll get you crazy kids!Copy !req
366. These three have named
their new alliance...Copy !req
367. otherwise known as EVIL!Copy !req
368. What can we do?Copy !req
369. When will this crime wave end?Copy !req
370. How will we defeat the EVIL?Copy !req
371. Why am I asking you
all these questions?Copy !req
372. Mermaidman, where are you?Copy !req
373. I'm right here!Copy !req
374. Don't worry, good citizens,Copy !req
375. nothing will stop me
from defeating the EVIL!Copy !req
376. Nothing!Copy !req
377. Ice cream?Copy !req
378. I love ice cream!Copy !req
379. A double scoop of prune
with bran sprinkles.Copy !req
380. Mmm!Copy !req
381. Goes right through me
every time.Copy !req
382. You might as well
give up, Mermaidman.Copy !req
383. There's three of us
and only one of you.Copy !req
384. You don't stand
a chance.Copy !req
385. Are you okay, Mermaidman?Copy !req
386. Oh, how are you
going to beatCopy !req
387. all three of those guys
by yourself?Copy !req
388. You're right.Copy !req
389. I give up.Copy !req
390. You can't give up.Copy !req
391. What if we help you?Copy !req
392. No, no, that's
a terrible idea.Copy !req
393. But what if you
help me?Copy !req
394. Okay.Copy !req
395. So, who wants
to save the world?Copy !req
396. I do!Copy !req
397. I do!Copy !req
398. I do!Copy !req
399. I don't.Copy !req
400. Oh, yes, you do.Copy !req
401. No world means
no money.Copy !req
402. Now, go save the world
or you're fired!Copy !req
403. Then it's settled!Copy !req
404. To the Mermalair!Copy !req
405. Wow!Copy !req
406. The Mermalair.Copy !req
407. These costumes belonged
to the originalCopy !req
408. International Justice League
of Super Acquaintances!Copy !req
409. Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were
the most heroic heroes ever!Copy !req
410. And you had
the best lunch box, too.Copy !req
411. Once you put on these costumes,Copy !req
412. their fantastic powers
will become yours!Copy !req
413. Wow— I didn't think
super-powers worked that way.Copy !req
414. Sure.Copy !req
415. Power's all in the costume.Copy !req
416. Why else would we run around
in colored undies?Copy !req
417. I can think of
three good reasons.Copy !req
418. The Quickster—Copy !req
419. with the uncanny ability
to run really... quick!Copy !req
420. Want to see me run
to that mountain and back?Copy !req
421. You want to see me do it again?Copy !req
422. Captain Magma—Copy !req
423. get him angry
and he's bound to erupt!Copy !req
424. Krakatoa!Copy !req
425. The Elastic Waistband—Copy !req
426. able to stretch his body
into fantastic shapes and forms!Copy !req
427. I can finally touch my toes!Copy !req
428. And Miss Appear—
now you see her, now you don't!Copy !req
429. Does this outfit
make me look fat?Copy !req
430. The International Justice League
of Super Acquaintances!Copy !req
431. A subsidiary of Viacom.Copy !req
432. So, it's agreed—Copy !req
433. we'll get one cheese pizza,Copy !req
434. one with pepperoni and
mushrooms, and one with olives.Copy !req
435. Super Acquaintances,
we need your help.Copy !req
436. Holy halibut— it's the Chief!Copy !req
437. Thank you
for the introduction, Quickster,Copy !req
438. but we all know who I am.Copy !req
439. More to the point, we've got
news on the whereabouts of EVIL.Copy !req
440. The whoseabouts of what?Copy !req
441. You just tell us
where they are, Chief,Copy !req
442. and we'll hog-tie them faster
than you can say "salsa verde."Copy !req
443. Our sources last saw EVILCopy !req
444. harassing teenagers
up at Make-Out Reef.Copy !req
445. You know, Make-Out Reef.Copy !req
446. Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
447. Floppin' flounder, Mermaidman—
Make-Out Reef!Copy !req
448. Those fiends!Copy !req
449. Attacking hormonally
stressed-out children!Copy !req
450. Ahh... Make-Out Reef.Copy !req
451. Good times, good times.Copy !req
452. To Make-Out Reef!Copy !req
453. Away!Copy !req
454. Does this mean
we're not getting pizza?Copy !req
455. Stop it!
Leave us alone!Copy !req
456. Please, stop!
Please!Copy !req
457. John and Nancy sitting
in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!Copy !req
458. Oh, shine the flashlight
in that car, Man Ray!Copy !req
459. With pleasure.Copy !req
460. Hey, man, that's not cool.Copy !req
461. Leave those young lovers alone!Copy !req
462. Well, if it
isn't Milkmaid Man.Copy !req
463. You've saved us
the troubleCopy !req
464. of tracking you down.Copy !req
465. You fiends can't win!Copy !req
466. You're outnumbered!Copy !req
467. You senile bag
of fish paste!Copy !req
468. There are three of us
and only one of you!Copy !req
469. Make that two!Copy !req
470. The Quickster!Copy !req
471. Three!Copy !req
472. Captain Magma!Copy !req
473. Four!Copy !req
474. The Elastic Waistband!Copy !req
475. Five!Copy !req
476. M-M-Miss Appear?Copy !req
477. And me makes ten, I think.Copy !req
478. Uh-oh.Copy !req
479. I don't feel so good
about this.Copy !req
480. Oh, there goes
our toy deal.Copy !req
481. Super Acquaintances, attack!Copy !req
482. Oh, no!Copy !req
483. Please, mercy!Copy !req
484. Krakatoa!Copy !req
485. Get it off, get it off!Copy !req
486. Get it off! Get it off!
Get it off!Copy !req
487. I'll save you, Quickster!Copy !req
488. What...?Copy !req
489. Whoa!Copy !req
490. Whoa...!Copy !req
491. I'll cool you off, Quickster,
with one of my water balls!Copy !req
492. Uh... ah...Copy !req
493. Uh... ah... uh... ah...Copy !req
494. Ah-ha!Copy !req
495. Huh?Copy !req
496. No-no, no-no!Copy !req
497. I'm not the Quickster,Copy !req
498. I'm Captain Mag... ma.Copy !req
499. Well, I guess it's up to me.Copy !req
500. I'll just sneak over, unseen,
and catch them by surprise.Copy !req
501. Get it off!Copy !req
502. Get it off! Get it off!Copy !req
503. Whew, glad that's over.Copy !req
504. We... we did it, we won.Copy !req
505. This day belongs to EVIL!Copy !req
506. You've lost, Mermaidman.Copy !req
507. And the superhero-
super-villain rules sayCopy !req
508. you have to give in
to my demands.Copy !req
509. Okay, what do you want?Copy !req
510. World domination!Copy !req
511. Tell him we want
world domination!Copy !req
512. Oh, and make him
eat dirt!Copy !req
513. In addition to the
domination thing.Copy !req
514. Number one: I want to be
treated like a superhero,Copy !req
515. not a sidekick.Copy !req
516. Number two: I want
to be called Barnacleman.Copy !req
517. And number three...Copy !req
518. Come on, domination.Copy !req
519. I want an adult-sized
Krabby Patty.Copy !req
520. Did you hear
him sayCopy !req
521. anything about
eating dirt?Copy !req
522. Need a hand?Copy !req
523. Super pal?Copy !req
524. Good to have you
back on the side
of justice, Kyle.Copy !req
525. Let's go get you
that Krabby Patty.Copy !req
526. Was that it?Copy !req
527. I feel sick.Copy !req
528. Oh, this reminds me
of the timeCopy !req
529. I went to Cancún with
the Killer Shrimp.Copy !req
530. Oh, they had these
papaya drinks...Copy !req
531. Oh, Neptune, shut up!Copy !req
532. Mmm.Copy !req
533. How's that adult-sized
Krabby PattyCopy !req
534. treating you,Copy !req
535. Barnacle... man?Copy !req
536. Actually, it's pretty big.Copy !req
537. I'm not sure I can
finish the whole thing.Copy !req
538. and NICKELODEONCopy !req