1. ARE YA READY, KIDS?
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2. AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
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3. I CAN'T HEARYOU!
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4. AYE, AYE,
CAPTAIN!
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5. ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
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6. ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
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7. ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
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8. ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
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9. ♪ READY?
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10. ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
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11. O.K., AND WOULD YOU LIKE
ANY FRIES WITH THAT?
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12. HEY, IF I GET SOME KELP FRIES,
WILL YOU GUYS SHARE 'EM WITH ME?
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13. DO WE KNOW YOU?
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14. TWO ORDERS OF FRIES, PLEASE.
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15. AND TWO ORDERS OF...
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16. I ONLY SAID ONE ORDER.
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17. I THOUGHT YOU SAID, "TWO."
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18. O.K., I'LL HAVE TWO.
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19. SPONGEBOB, ORDER UP.
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20. WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY...
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21. SPONGEBOB, WHAT IN NEPTUNE'S...
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22. SPONGEBOB?
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23. WELL, HIS SPATULA'S STILL WARM.
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24. WELL, SPONGEBOB...
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25. I MUST ADMIT
THIS IS STRANGE BEHAVIOR...
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26. EVEN FOR YOU.
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27. AHOY, SQUIDWARD.
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28. GOOD NEPTUNE.
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29. SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO YOU, SON?
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30. I THINK HE'S IN SOME KIND
OF SELF-INDUCED TRANCE.
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31. NO, SQUIDWARD,
THIS IS WORSE.
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32. HE'S GOT THE
THOUSAND-YARD STARE.
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33. I HAD IT ONCE ME-SELF,
BACK IN ME SERVICE DAYS.
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34. WHAT IS IT LAD?
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35. QUICK, WE'RE LOSIN' MONEY.
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36. IT'S THE BOY'S TINY CALENDAR.
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37. AND HE'S CIRCLED TODAY'S DATE.
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38. "IMPORTANT FOOD CRITIC
VISITS KRUSTY KRAB?"
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39. THAT'S WHAT'S CAUSING ALL THIS?
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40. ONLY A COMPLETE MORON
WOULD WORRY ABOUT WHAT
SOME CRITIC HAS TO SAY.
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41. I REST MY CASE.
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42. HEY, IN OUR OUT, MISTER.
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43. YOU'RE LETTING OUT THE A.C.
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44. WEIRDO.
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45. WHY HELLO.
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46. YOU'RE THE TELEVISION FOOD
CRITIC GENE SCALLOP, AREN'T YA?
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47. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
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48. I'M EUGENE KRABS, OWNER AND
PROPRIETOR OF THIS FINE...
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49. WELL, DO YOU WANNA ORDER
SOMETHING OR DO YOU JUST
WANNA BLOCK MY READING LIGHT?
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50. SQUIDWARD, YOU JUST
DROVE AWAY GENE SCALLOP!
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51. DON'T YOU KNOW OUR LIVES
DEPEND ON HIS REVIEW?
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52. MR. KRABS, THE ONLY THING
MY LIFE DEPENDS ON
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53. IS GOING HOME AT 6:00.
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54. M... MR. SCALLOP,
WAIT, PLEASE.
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55. BEFORE YOU GO,
COME ON, SIT DOWN.
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56. TRY ONE OF OUR DELICIOUS
KRABBY PATTIES.
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57. IT'S ABSOLUTELY F-F-F...
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58. COMPLIMENTARY.
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59. O.K., SPONGEBOB,
THAT'LL BE ALL.
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60. HE'S NOBODY.
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61. WE'RE DOOMED.
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62. And there were no survivors.
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63. Thank you, Barbara.
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64. Thank you, Bob.
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65. SHE IS SO TACKY.
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66. And now it's time
for "Bottom Feeding"
with Gene Scallop.
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67. TURN IT UP, SQUIDWARD.
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68. Thank you, Bob.
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69. This week, I visited...
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70. You're
welcome, Gene.
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71. This week I reviewed
the Krusty Krab restaurant
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72. a local burger joint
that's second to none.
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73. Or should I say second to "run"
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74. since this critic wanted to make
like a banana and peel out
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75. the minute he saw how drab
this Krab really was.
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76. That bad, huh Gene?
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77. Barbara, once I stuck my beak
through that door
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78. my appetite flew south
for the winter.
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79. I mean, I'm not "kidding"
when I say this restaurant
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80. smells like the
rear end of a goat.
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81. And how was the service, Gene?
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82. You could find livelier help
in a graveyard
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83. and I'm not just "coffin."
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84. The management stunk so bad
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85. I had to get my sweater
dry cleaned on the way home
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86. with me in it.
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87. HEY, NO, WAIT, WAIT!
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88. However, at the end of my visit
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89. I chowed down on a meal that
titillated my taste buds
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90. and gratified my gullet.
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91. That Sponge behind the grill
is no square
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92. when it comes to cooking!
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93. If Krabs really wanted
to soak up the dough
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94. He'd Sponge it up.
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95. He'd Sponge it out,
he'd over-Sponge it.
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96. You can never have
too much Sponge.
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97. Well, back to work.
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98. AY, AY-AY-AY-AY...
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99. THAT'S ME BOY, SPONGEBOB!
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100. THAT'S ME BOY.
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101. WOW...
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102. O.K.,
A LITTLE LOWER, LOWER...
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103. THAT'S PERFECT.
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104. GOOD MORNING, SIR,
WHAT'S WITH THE NEW SIGN?
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105. OH, JUST MAKIN'
A FEW COSMETIC CHANGES.
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106. OH, YOU MEAN, LIKE WHEN
SQUIDWARD HAD THAT MOLE
TAKEN OFF HIS...
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107. EH, WELL, YEAH,
A LITTLE BIT LIKE THAT.
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108. MORNING, SQUIDWARD!
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109. OOH.
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110. SQUIDWARD, WHERE DID
YOU FIND THOSE SHOES?
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111. LOOK, IT'S HIM.
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112. MR. SQUAREPANTS?
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113. CAN I HAVE
YOUR AUTOGRAPH? NO.
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114. BUT, WHY?
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115. WELL, THE FIRST REASON IS
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116. I HAVE NO USE
OF MY ARMS, SEE?
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117. OW!
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118. HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE?
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119. HE HIT ME...
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120. JUST 'CAUSE I WANTED
HIS AUTOGRAPH.
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121. SQUIDWARD.
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122. I'M SORRY, LITTLE GIRL.
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123. OF COURSE YOU CAN
HAVE HIS AUTOGRAPH...
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124. FOR FIVE BUCKS.
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125. WHAT A RIP.
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126. LOOK AT THESE, SQUIDWARD,
HEH, HEH, HEH.
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127. LOOKS LIKE SOME
SORT OF HORRIFIC SHROUD.
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128. THEY'RE OUR NEW
KRUSTY SPONGE NAPKINS.
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129. EXTRA ABSORBENT...
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130. YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR.
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131. OH, THAT REMINDS ME, SQUIDWARD.
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132. I NEED YOU TO
UNPACK THESE BOXES.
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133. WHAT'S IN THEM? CONDIMENTS.
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134. WE GOT TANGY SPONGEY SAUCE
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135. AND MILD BOBBY SAUCE,
FOR THE NOT SO DARING.
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136. OH, CLEVER.
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137. CAPTAIN!
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138. MY SPATULA'S MISSING, SIR!
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139. I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.
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140. HERE YA GO, SQUIDWARD.
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141. YOU'RE ON GRILL DUTY NOW.
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142. BUT THAT'S SPONGEBOB'S JOB.
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143. DON'T WORRY, SQUIDWARD.
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144. I GOT SOMETHIN' ELSE
LINED UP FOR HIM.
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145. STEP RIGHT UP, FOLKS.
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146. TAKE A RIDE ON THE
KRUSTY SPONGE FUN TRAIN.
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147. TICKETS ARE ONLY $1.98.
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148. SEAT BELTS NOT INCLUDED.
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149. HOW AM I GONNA
DO THIS NOW?
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150. MOMMY, IS THAT YOU?
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151. MR. KRABS, I REALLY THINK
I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK
TO THE GRILL NOW.
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152. ARE YOU KIDDING, LAD?
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153. JUST LOOK AT ALL THESE
PAYIN' CUSTOMERS.
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154. WHO'S READY FOR ANOTHER LAP?
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155. KEEP ON TRUCKIN', SPONGEBOB.
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156. I GOT SOME IMPORTANT BUSINESS
TO SEE TO IN ME OFFICE.
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157. MR. KRABS?
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158. UH, THIS IS A BAD TIME,
ISN'T IT.
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159. NO.
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160. WELL, THERE'S A MAN OUT BACK
WITH A DELIVERY AND SAYS
YOU NEED TO SIGN.
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161. O.K.
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162. TELL HIM, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
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163. GOT IT.
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164. OW!
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165. AND LET'S WATCH
THE LANGUAGE, SQUIDWARD.
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166. SIGN HERE, HERE,
AND HERE.
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167. MY PLEASURE.
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168. WHAT THE HECK
IS ALL THIS STUFF?
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169. I'M GLAD YOU ASKED!
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170. WE GOT SPONGEBOB
DRINKING STRAWS...
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171. COASTERS, BIBS...
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172. AND ME PERSONAL FAVORITE,
SPONGEBOB ICE CUBES.
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173. OHH...
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174. MR. KRABS, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU MIGHT BE TAKING
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175. ALL OF THIS
A LITTLE BIT TOO FAR?
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176. GET BACK TO WORK, SPONGEBOB.
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177. I'LL BE IN ME SPONGEBOB
IF YOU SPONGEBOB ME.
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178. HA, HA...
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179. WHOOPS...
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180. THERE YA GO, SQUIDWARD?
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181. NOW WHAT?
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182. OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!
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183. SPONGEY PATTIES.
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184. SPONGEY PATTIES?
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185. I WANT YOU TO
START USING 'EM. WHERE'D YOU GET THEM?
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186. THEY WERE JUST PATTIES WE DIDN'T
HAVE ROOM FOR IN THE FREEZER,
THEY TURNED YELLOW.
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187. GOTTA KEEP THOSE SPONGEBOB ICE
CUBES SOMEWHERE, YOU KNOW.
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188. YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT PEOPLE
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189. TO PAY $1.98
FOR A ROTTEN PATTY?
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190. SQUIDWARD, YOU'RE RIGHT.
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191. THIS INSTANT SUCCESS MUST BE
SCRAMBLIN' MY BRAINS.
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192. WE'LL MAKE 'EM $2.98.
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193. ALL ABOARD.
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194. HEY, WE DIDN'T PAY $3
TO WATCH YOU TAKE A NAP.
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195. THAT'S THE WORST SPONGEBOB
COSTUME I'VE EVER SEEN.
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196. All chanting: RIDE, RIDE
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197. RIDE, RIDE
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198. RIDE, RIDE
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199. RIDE, RIDE, RIDE, RIDE...
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200. RIDE, RIDE
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201. RIDE, RIDE, RIDE.
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202. OH, WHAT A DAY.
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203. WHAT'S NEXT,
A ZOMBIE INVASION?
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204. AHH!
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205. MR. KRABS, OPEN UP.
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206. WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY A BUNCH
OF ZOMBIES THAT LOOK LIKE ME.
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207. Krabs behind door: UH, GO AWAY,
PLEASE, I'M BUSY.
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208. PLEASE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
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209. THEY'RE ALL SPLOTCHY AND YELLOW
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210. WITH DISTENDED BELLIES.
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211. OPEN UP, OPEN UP,
OPEN UP, OPEN UP.
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212. WHO?
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213. MR. KRABS?
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214. SPONGEBOB...
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215. GREAT NEPTUNE'S
MOTHER'S STOCKINGS.
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216. ZOMBIES...
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217. THEY'RE HERE TO EAT ME MONEY.
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218. WAIT, THEY'RE NOT
ZOMBIES, MR. KRABS.
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219. THEY'RE YOUR CUSTOMERS... LOOK.
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220. OH, I ATE THIS YELLOW KRABBY
PATTY AND NOW I FEEL SICK.
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221. KRABBY PATTY?
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222. YECH.
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223. MAN, YOU GOT SOME
SERIOUS PROBLEMS.
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224. IF YOU'RE TRYING TO PASS THAT
OFF AS A KRABBY PATTY...
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225. IT'S A...
IT'S A SPONGEY PATTY.
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226. MR. KRABS,
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
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227. YOU POISONED ALL THESE PEOPLE.
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228. NO, BUT, I, I JUST...
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229. I CAN EXPLAIN, I...
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230. WHAT THE...
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231. TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, KRABS.
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232. CALLING THE COURTROOM TO
ATTENTION IN THE CASE OF
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233. "PEOPLE OF BIKINI BOTTOM
VERSUS MR. KRABS."
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234. HONORABLE JUDGE
HORACE A. WHOPPER PRESIDING.
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235. HAS THE JURY REACHED A VERDICT?
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236. WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.
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237. WE, THE JURY, FIND THE
DEFENDANT, EUGENE A. KRABS
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238. GUILTY OF ALL CHARGES.
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239. VERY WELL.
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240. DOES THE DEFENDANT
HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY
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241. BEFORE WE SEND HIM
DOWNTHE RIVER?
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242. NO, YOUR HONOR.
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243. VERY WELL.
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244. EH, HANG ON
A SECOND THERE, JUDGE.
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245. THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE
A SPONGEBOB GAVEL YOU'RE USIN'?
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246. OOH, WHY YES,
IT'S MY PRIZED POSSESSION.
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247. I AM A HUGE SPONGEBOB FAN.
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248. PERMISSION TO APPROACH
THE BENCH, YOUR HONOR.
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249. SURE IS GOOD TO BE BACK
BEHIND THE GRILL WHERE
I BELONG, MR. KRABS.
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250. IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, BOY.
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251. LET'S SEE HOW SQUIDWARD'S
ENJOYING HIS NEW POSITION.
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252. TAKE HIM AROUND THERE
AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE.
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253. I JUST MIGHT HAVE TO
TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.
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254. AH, I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING.
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255. EH-EH-EH-EH-EH...
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256. AH, NO, NO!
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257. YAY...
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258. OH, IF ONLY INAUDIBLE LAD
WERE HERE RIGHT NOW.
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259. OHH...
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260. NOTHING SATISFIES
LIKE A GOOD STORY.
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261. ARE YA READY TO GO, PATRICK?
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262. AH, GET BACK!
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263. I WASN'T GONNA
EAT ALL OF YOU!
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264. PATRICK, IT'S ME.
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265. SPONGE...
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266. EW, WHAT'S THIS?
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267. WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S MINE...
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268. UNLESS I DON'T WANT IT.
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269. MM-HM...
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270. HM, HM.
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271. SPONGEBOB...
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272. WHAT DO ALL THESE WORDS SAY?
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273. IT'S AN AD.
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274. SpongeBob as Announcer:
DEAR COMIC BOOK READER.
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275. THAT'S ME!
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276. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT
TURNING ONE OF YOUR POEMS INTO
A SONG ON THE RADIO?
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277. I'VE NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT ANYTHING.
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278. SEND IN YOUR POEM AND $100
AND WE'LL MAKE IT A HIT.
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279. CAN WE GO NOW?
MY ARMS ARE GETTING TIRED.
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280. I WANNA SEND IN A POEM
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281. AND EVERYONE WOULD LOVE IT,
AND I WOULD BE A STAR.
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282. YOU CAN'T ALWAYS TRUST ADS
IN COMIC BOOKS.
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283. THOSE X-RAY SPECS I ORDERED
COULDN'T SEE THROUGH PEOPLE'S
SKIN AT ALL...
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284. ONLY THEIR CLOTHES,
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285. PLUS, YOU DON'T HAVE $100.
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286. UH, PATRICK,
COULD YOU GET MY WALLET?
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287. HEY, LOOK,
I JUST FOUND $100.
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288. IT'S A SIGN THAT
I SHOULD MAKE MY HIT RECORD.
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289. HEY, THAT'S MY
COMIC BOOK MONEY.
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290. IT'S A SIGN...
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291. A SIGN THAT FELL FROM
THE BACK OF YOUR PANTS.
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292. I'VE LEARNED TO TRUST
SIGNS LIKE THAT.
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293. PATRICK?
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294. HEY, YOU GONNA PAY
FOR THOSE COMICS?
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295. NO.
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296. OH, CAN I HAVE MY ARMS BACK?
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297. I WISH NOT TO BE
DISTURBED, SPONGEBOB
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298. FOR I AM ABOUT TO ERUPT
WITH A MASTERPIECE.
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299. GOOD LUCK.
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300. COMING... OH! SPONGEBOB.
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301. COULD I BORROW A PENCIL AND
SOME PAPER AND A PLACE TO WORK?
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302. SPONGEBOB,
THIS PENCIL IS BROKEN.
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303. WHY WON'T IT MAKE WORDS?
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304. YOU HAVE TO THINK
OF THE WORDS YOURSELF.
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305. I THINK I WROTE A POEM ONCE.
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306. A POEM BY PATRICK STAR.
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307. ROSES ARE BLUE.
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308. VIOLETS ARE RED.
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309. I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
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310. HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YA?
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311. THIS IS GYM CLASS.
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312. OOH, DODGEBALLS.
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313. OH, PATRICK?
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314. AH, DON'T HIT ME
WITH A DODGEBALL!
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315. MEOW.
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316. WHY WOULD I HIT YOU
WITH A DODGEBALL?
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317. I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS
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318. BUT I WROTE A POEM ONCE.
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319. NO.
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320. WAIT, THERE'S MORE.
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321. WHEN I READ IT TO THE CLASS
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322. THEY PELTED ME WITH DODGEBALLS
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323. JUST BECAUSE WE WERE
PLAYING DODGEBALL!
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324. WHY... ?
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325. YOU CAN PLAY YOUR
RECORDS LATER, GARY.
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326. PATRICK, IS THAT WHY YOU'VE BEEN
HAVING TROUBLE WRITING?
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327. I'M WORRIED MY POEM'S
NOT GONNA BE ANY GOOD.
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328. AND YOU'RE GONNA HIT ME
WITH DODGEBALLS.
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329. OH, I DON'T EVEN OWN
A DODGEBALL, DO YOU, GARY?
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330. MEOW.
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331. IF YOU'RE SERIOUS,
I CAN DO THIS.
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332. I'M EVEN GONNA USE...
MY BRAIN.
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333. THAT'S THE SPIRIT, PATRICK!
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334. I'LL OPEN A WINDOW.
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335. OHH...
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336. HO...
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337. COME ON, YOU STUPID BRAIN...
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338. WORK.
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339. IT'S WORKING.
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340. PATRICK, DON'T STRAIN YOURSELF
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341. NOW WHAT'S GOING ON?
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342. WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE SMELL?
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343. IS PATRICK THINKING AGAIN?
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344. I'M MAKING ART!
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345. PATRICK, IT SMELLS LIKE
SOMETHING CRAWLED IN YOUR BRAIN
AND DIED.
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346. THAT'S THE CREATIVE
PROCESS AT WORK.
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347. READY TO GO TO THE POST OFFICE?
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348. I NEED TO MAIL
IN MY MASTERPIECE.
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349. THE NEXT DAY.
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350. I HATE MY LIFE.
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351. I HATE YOUR LIFE
TOO, DUDE.
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352. PEOPLE...
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353. WE HAVE 17 MORE SONGS
TO FINISH THIS HOUR.
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354. NEXT UP IS
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355. "I WROTE THIS,"
BY PATRICK STAR.
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356. YICK.
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357. THIS ONE'S REALLY BAD.
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358. IT MADE MY EYEBALLS THROW UP.
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359. OH, YEAH?
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360. I DON'T CARE HOW
AWFULHIS POEM IS.
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361. WE SPENT HIS
HUNDRED BUCKS ALREADY.
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362. COME ON, GUYS, WE'RE GONNA
DO THIS IF IT KILLS US.
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363. AND A ONE, AND A TWO,
AND A...
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364. THEY WANTED YOU TO HAVE THIS.
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365. MY SONG, AHH...
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366. COME ON,
LET'S HEAR IT!
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367. UM, I DON'T KNOW.
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368. YOU'RE NOT GONNA THROW
DODGEBALLS AT ME?
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369. I DON'T SEE ANY
DODGEBALLS HERE, BUDDY.
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370. JUST AN ARTIST AND HIS WORK.
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371. YEAH, AND ME, TOO.
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372. NOW SIT DOWN
AND GET COMFORTABLE.
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373. UH, PATRICK?
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374. SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS...
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375. ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
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376. WHOO.
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377. WHOA!
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378. IT'S REALLY LOUD!
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379. YOU NEED IT LOUDER?
O.K.
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380. WHOO!
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381. DRUM SOLO.
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382. THAT WAS AWESOME.
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383. DID YOU LIKE IT...
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384. OR DID YOU REALLY,
REALLYLIKE IT?
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385. GIVE ME YOUR COMPLETELY
HONEST OPINION
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386. OF HOW GREAT IT WAS!
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387. OH, HMM...
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388. HOW DO I PUT
THIS DELICATELY?
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389. THAT WAS THE BEST SONG
I EVER HEARD!
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390. DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
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391. WE NEED TO GET THAT
SONG ON THE RADIO.
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392. LET'S GO RIGHT NOW,
COME ON.
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393. DARN, I JUST GOT
THAT ARM BACK.
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394. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON
THEIR FACE ONCE THEY HEAR THIS.
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395. DID YOU SEE
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE?
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396. YEAH, DID YOU
SEE HIS EARS?
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397. I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COULD
TURN INSIDE OUT LIKE THAT.
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398. NOW HOW ARE WE GONNA GET
YOUR RECORD ON THE RADIO?
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399. WHAT RECORD?
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400. I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
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401. WE JUST HAVE TO PLAY YOUR RECORD
FROM THE TOP OF THIS ANTENNA.
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402. CARRY ME?
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403. HUH, PATRICK?
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404. TALLY HO.
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405. MUSH, ONWARD AND UPWARD.
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406. FASTER, SPONGEBOB, FASTER.
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407. OH... HM.
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408. THIS RECORD WON'T STAY PUT.
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409. GOOD IDEA.
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410. OH YEAH, I FORGOT.
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411. LUCKY.
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412. THIS SONG ALWAYS
MAKES ME THINK OF YOU.
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413. DRUM SOLO.
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414. STOP!
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415. MY EARS.
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416. I LIKE IT.
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417. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE BIKINI
BOTTOM IS THROWING A PARTY
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418. AND YOU KNOW WHAT A PARTY NEEDS?
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419. UH, BEAN DIP?
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420. YES, THAT IS IMPORTANT,
BUT I WAS THINKING ABOUT MUSIC.
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421. TURN IT UP, PATRICK.
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422. WHERE IS THAT AWFUL
SONG COMING FROM?
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423. TO THE RADIO STATION.
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424. TORCHES...
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425. GET YOUR TORCHES.
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426. PITCHFORKS.
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427. YOU CAN'T BE AN ANGRY MOB
WITHOUT PITCH FORKS.
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428. COTTON CANDY.
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429. GET YOUR COTTON CANDY.
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430. YOU CAN'T THROW A RIOT
WITHOUT COTTON CANDY.
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431. LOOK AT THAT, PATRICK.
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432. OH, YOU MEAN THE ANGRY MOB
WITH THE PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES?
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433. HA-HA-HA, THAT'S NOT
AN ANGRY MOB, PATRICK.
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434. IT'S YOUR FAN CLUB.
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435. FAN CLUB?
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436. YA-HOO.
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437. WE SHOULD SING 'EM A SONG.
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438. WHO'S RESPONSIBLE
FOR THAT SONG ON THE RADIO?
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439. WHY, HE'S RIGHT HERE.
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440. PATRICK STAR, MUSICAL GENIUS.
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441. YEAH...
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442. LET'S GET HIM BOYS.
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443. YEAH!
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444. AND THAT WAS MY
NEW SONG...
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445. CALLED, "AARGH."
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446. YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
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447. YEAH, AT LEAST IT GOT
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448. THAT FIRST TERRIBLE
SONG OUT OF OUR HEADS.
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449. OH YEAH, MY SONG.
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450. PATRICK, LOOKS LIKE YOU
NEED ANOTHER LESSON.
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451. DODGEBALLS... READY!
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452. UH-OH.
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