1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored
by MTV NETWORKSCopy !req
6. Run for it, man!Copy !req
7. Oh, good, the lunch rush.Copy !req
8. Now that my Chumbot has dropped
you into my clutches,Copy !req
9. you'll be forced to eat
at the Chum Bucket!Copy !req
10. What?Copy !req
11. You kidnapped us
just to sell us your fast food?Copy !req
12. Come on, it's a standard
marketing technique.Copy !req
13. You little twerp!Copy !req
14. Hey!Copy !req
15. He's right.Copy !req
16. Karen!Copy !req
17. You think
I'm a twerp?Copy !req
18. Well, yes,Copy !req
19. but I was referring
to the kidnapping.Copy !req
20. Everything I do is
always wrong in your eyes!Copy !req
21. Maybe it's because
you arealways wrong.Copy !req
22. Fine— I'm wrong, you're right.Copy !req
23. You said it, not me.Copy !req
24. Why did I ever install
that nagging software?Copy !req
25. Nagging software?
I heard that!Copy !req
26. Dust my screen!Copy !req
27. MR.
Oh, money,Copy !req
28. you're always there for me.Copy !req
29. Hello, Eugene.Copy !req
30. Mother!Copy !req
31. What brings you by today?Copy !req
32. I just wanted to seeCopy !req
33. me favorite son.Copy !req
34. How much of my money
do you want?Copy !req
35. Well, I did see
the prettiest hat in town today.Copy !req
36. Oh, look at the time!Copy !req
37. So sorry to have
to rush off.Copy !req
38. Bye, bye.Copy !req
39. Whew, that was a close one.Copy !req
40. Why did I ever buy
that computer wife?Copy !req
41. I need a realwoman—Copy !req
42. not a girl
in a cold, hard shell.Copy !req
43. Such beauty.Copy !req
44. She's an angel; and no wires!Copy !req
45. I've never felt
like this before.Copy !req
46. I don't even know her name,
and yet she's stolen my heart.Copy !req
47. Plankton!Copy !req
48. You've fallen in love
with another woman?Copy !req
49. I'm your wife!Copy !req
50. You're a W.I.F.E.:Copy !req
51. wired integrated female
electroencephalograph.Copy !req
52. Oh! You always pull
thatone out!Copy !req
53. "You're not a real wife.Copy !req
54. You're just a computer!"Copy !req
55. Aah! Why don't you have
an "off" switch?Copy !req
56. Plankton, don't you dare...Copy !req
57. And now to woo
that beloved creature.Copy !req
58. Roses are red.Copy !req
59. Violets are blue.Copy !req
60. World domination
has nothing on you.Copy !req
61. Hmm, I guess
she's not a poetry fan.Copy !req
62. Poetry, love notes—
nothing's working.Copy !req
63. Maybe something personal.Copy !req
64. Am I really that pretty?Copy !req
65. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
66. I am smooth.Copy !req
67. Just dial the number
and ask her to dinner.Copy !req
68. Come on, you can do this.Copy !req
69. MRS.
Hello?Copy !req
70. I'm hanging up.Copy !req
71. Wait!Copy !req
72. It's your secret admirer.Copy !req
73. Oh, you're that giant robot?Copy !req
74. No.Copy !req
75. I program the robot.Copy !req
76. Did you enjoy the gift
I sent you?Copy !req
77. How did you know I wanted a hat?Copy !req
78. Have you been spying on me?Copy !req
79. It was... just a lucky guess.Copy !req
80. I've admired you from afar
for too long, my angel.Copy !req
81. We must meet face-to-face.Copy !req
82. Well, how about the Krusty Krab
tonight at 8:00?Copy !req
83. Sounds wonderful.Copy !req
84. I'll be the tall fellow
wearing a red carnation.Copy !req
85. Until tonight... my dear.Copy !req
86. Ah! Quick, SpongeBob,
swallow me wallet!Copy !req
87. Okay.Copy !req
88. Oh, sorry, Mommy.Copy !req
89. I can't lend you
any money.Copy !req
90. SpongeBob accidentally
swallowed me wallet.Copy !req
91. Mommy, you got
yourself a hatCopy !req
92. without me financial
assistance!Copy !req
93. Isn't it nice, Eugene?Copy !req
94. It's just the one I wanted.Copy !req
95. But, Mommy, you
shouldn't be spending
my inheritance...Copy !req
96. I mean, since you told me
you wanted a hat,Copy !req
97. I dug one up.Copy !req
98. Where did you get
this old thing?Copy !req
99. She looks so peaceful.Copy !req
100. Yeah, but wasn't
she wearing a hat?Copy !req
101. You can take this back
to the trash heap.Copy !req
102. Yes, Mommy.Copy !req
103. Squidward, make
a return for me!Copy !req
104. Thank ye for your concern
about me finances,Copy !req
105. but me new boyfriend
bought me this hat.Copy !req
106. Boyfriend?Copy !req
107. Someone to spend money...Copy !req
108. "time" with you?Copy !req
109. That's wonderful!Copy !req
110. Who is he?Copy !req
111. What's his name?Copy !req
112. I don't know.Copy !req
113. I'm meeting him here tonight.Copy !req
114. Wonderful!Copy !req
115. I'll stay open lateCopy !req
116. so ye can have a nice,
romantic dinner.Copy !req
117. Run along,
make yourself pretty.Copy !req
118. SpongeBob, you're working late!Copy !req
119. No overtime!Copy !req
120. Ah!Copy !req
121. I've reservations
for two tonight.Copy !req
122. Right this way, sir.Copy !req
123. Excuse me!Copy !req
124. I can't reach my silverware!Copy !req
125. Terribly sorry, sir.Copy !req
126. Will there be
anything else?Copy !req
127. Is my tie on straight?Copy !req
128. You look fabulous!Copy !req
129. Your gentleman
caller awaits.Copy !req
130. Hello, my dear.Copy !req
131. I must say you look
ravishing tonight.Copy !req
132. Oh my, you're
a tiny thing,
but awfully cute.Copy !req
133. Tell me about yourself.Copy !req
134. Well, I'm in
the food service business.Copy !req
135. I'm a bit of a restaurateur.Copy !req
136. I'm the founder
and owner of the Chum Bucket.Copy !req
137. Never heard of it.Copy !req
138. It's across the street.Copy !req
139. Doesn't ring a bell.Copy !req
140. It's on the back
of the phone book.Copy !req
141. Come on, I paid a lot of money
for that ad!Copy !req
142. Never mind, never mind.Copy !req
143. I'd like to hear about you.Copy !req
144. Well...Copy !req
145. Plankton!Copy !req
146. Krabs!Copy !req
147. Eugene!Copy !req
148. Mommy?Copy !req
149. "Mommy"?Copy !req
150. SpongeBob!Copy !req
151. SpongeBob!Copy !req
152. This delectable creature
is yourmother?Copy !req
153. This no-good conniving
chiseler is your date?Copy !req
154. And this handsome sponge
is your waiter.Copy !req
155. SpongeBob!Copy !req
156. I don't know what sort of
skullduggery you're up to,Copy !req
157. and I'm not waiting
to find out.Copy !req
158. Eugene, you put
me boyfriend down
this instant.Copy !req
159. Boyfriend?Copy !req
160. But, Mommy...Copy !req
161. You heard the lady.Copy !req
162. Let me go.Copy !req
163. That's more like it.Copy !req
164. Come, Plankton.Copy !req
165. I'm sorry me son
had to spoil our
romantic evening.Copy !req
166. Mommy?Copy !req
167. You!Copy !req
168. Eugene.Copy !req
169. I came to warn you,
Plankton.Copy !req
170. Stay away from me mother!Copy !req
171. I know what you're
really up to!Copy !req
172. I'm serious, Eugene.Copy !req
173. I've changed my ways.Copy !req
174. And all it took was
the love of a beautiful woman.Copy !req
175. All you love is
thieving and conniving.Copy !req
176. Now, stop trying
to get the formula
out of me mother.Copy !req
177. What are you talking about?Copy !req
178. I'm talking about
the Krabby Patty formula!Copy !req
179. Your mother knows
the Krabby Patty formula?Copy !req
180. Don't play stupid with me.Copy !req
181. Of course she does.Copy !req
182. It's an old
Krabs family recipe.Copy !req
183. And you're not family.Copy !req
184. I'm telling you
for the last time:Copy !req
185. stay away from me mother.Copy !req
186. Not family, eh?Copy !req
187. Well, I can fix that.Copy !req
188. Eugene!Copy !req
189. Mommy!Copy !req
190. What did I tell ye about
interfering in me life?Copy !req
191. Mommy, can't you see?Copy !req
192. He's trying to seduce the
Krabby Patty formula from you.Copy !req
193. For your information, Eugene,Copy !req
194. he hasn't asked me once
about the formula.Copy !req
195. I doubt that he even knows
that I know it.Copy !req
196. Uh, yeah...
funny thing about that.Copy !req
197. I forbid ye to interfere
in me private business.Copy !req
198. Go to your office.Copy !req
199. Now!Copy !req
200. Yes, Mommy.Copy !req
201. Somebody call heaven;Copy !req
202. I think an angel's gone missing.Copy !req
203. Oh, Sheldon.Copy !req
204. Oh, Mrs. Krabs.Copy !req
205. Oh, brother.Copy !req
206. Attention, everyone.Copy !req
207. I'd like to make
an announcement.Copy !req
208. Mrs. Krabs, in full view
of this restaurant,Copy !req
209. I ask you for your hand
in holy matrimony.Copy !req
210. Aw!Copy !req
211. Would you marry me?Copy !req
212. Aah, that's it!Copy !req
213. No more hiding in my room
like a scared little kid.Copy !req
214. It's time to act like a man.Copy !req
215. Gasp!Copy !req
216. Please don't marry him,
Mommy.Copy !req
217. Don't marry
this bad, bad man.Copy !req
218. I don't want you to!Copy !req
219. Too late, Krabsy!Copy !req
220. We're going
to be married.Copy !req
221. And you're going to be
my new son.Copy !req
222. Huh?Copy !req
223. What's this, honey bunch?Copy !req
224. I am flattered
by your offer.Copy !req
225. Really I am.Copy !req
226. But I'm just not ready
for that kind of commitment.Copy !req
227. Hah!Copy !req
228. What is this?Copy !req
229. There's somebody else,
isn't there?Copy !req
230. I... I...Copy !req
231. This is very uncomfortable.Copy !req
232. I'll just wait in the car.Copy !req
233. I don't believe this!Copy !req
234. You led me on!Copy !req
235. Now, now, Plankton,
it's not what ye think.Copy !req
236. I don't want to hear
your lies!Copy !req
237. You owe me for leading
me on like this!Copy !req
238. Give me the Krabby Patty
formula, and we'll call it even.Copy !req
239. The formula?Copy !req
240. Is that what this whole
thing was about?Copy !req
241. No, no, not really.Copy !req
242. I mean, not at first.Copy !req
243. I mean, uh...Copy !req
244. Honey bunch?Copy !req
245. Uh-oh.Copy !req
246. Oh, well, 'tis better
to have loved and lostCopy !req
247. than never to have loved at all!Copy !req
248. Working.Copy !req
249. So you've decided to come
crawling back to me, huh?Copy !req
250. What did you say?Copy !req
251. Nothing, dear.Copy !req
252. Yeah, that's what
I thought you said,
honey bunch.Copy !req
253. Huh? Eh?Copy !req
254. It's Mermaidman!Copy !req
255. Savior of the deep!Copy !req
256. And his young, fit servant,
Barnacleboy!Copy !req
257. Mermaidman and
Barnacleboy...Copy !req
258. unite!Copy !req
259. Kelp-Thing, this is a posted
no-parking zone.Copy !req
260. But I must do what I do.Copy !req
261. Huh?Copy !req
262. Evil can't park hereCopy !req
263. between the hours
of 6:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m.!Copy !req
264. Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy
Fan Club membersCopy !req
265. unite!Copy !req
266. Unite!Copy !req
267. And now, the second
order of business,Copy !req
268. Drippy Brothers Studios
is currently in productionCopy !req
269. on the Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie!Copy !req
270. Ooh...Copy !req
271. Oh, boy, Patrick,Copy !req
272. I can hardly wait to see
our favorite heroesCopy !req
273. on the big screen!Copy !req
274. Third order of business,
the special surprise guest.Copy !req
275. The stars of the Mermaidman
movie are here tonight!Copy !req
276. Directly from the set,
here they are!Copy !req
277. Hello, little heroes.Copy !req
278. Huh?Copy !req
279. You're not Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy.Copy !req
280. You're fakes.Copy !req
281. Well, of course
we are— we're actors.Copy !req
282. Actors?Copy !req
283. How can you make
a Mermaidman movieCopy !req
284. without the real
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy?Copy !req
285. Listen, kid, this is
an action movie!Copy !req
286. Your has-been heroes
are too oldfor action.Copy !req
287. Mermaidman
is timeless.Copy !req
288. Yeah!Copy !req
289. I think I speak
for everyone hereCopy !req
290. when I say we won't standCopy !req
291. for these two
phony baloneysCopy !req
292. ruining the good name
of our heroes.Copy !req
293. No right-minded Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy society memberCopy !req
294. would ever pay to see this...
this celluloid hoax.Copy !req
295. I say we boycott this movie!Copy !req
296. Now who's with me?Copy !req
297. Traitors!Copy !req
298. Wait till we tell
Mermaidman about this!Copy !req
299. B-47.Copy !req
300. Bonko!Copy !req
301. It's "Bingo"!Copy !req
302. Get your hands
off me, woman!Copy !req
303. A-29.Copy !req
304. Too old for
an action movie...Copy !req
305. huh.Copy !req
306. What is it
this time, kid?Copy !req
307. Are you aware that Drippy
Brothers Studios is makingCopy !req
308. the Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie?Copy !req
309. They can't be making
a movie about us!Copy !req
310. But they are.Copy !req
311. And they're using...Copy !req
312. actors.Copy !req
313. They have shunned
our heroes.Copy !req
314. And they weren't nice
to them either.Copy !req
315. Now our dreams of
being big-screen heroesCopy !req
316. will never come true!Copy !req
317. Well, that makes it
even worse!Copy !req
318. You bet it does, kid.Copy !req
319. And the worst part isCopy !req
320. I can't remember why
I started crying.Copy !req
321. Why don't we just make
our own movie?Copy !req
322. Patrick, once again you have
exposed your brilliance!Copy !req
323. We'll make a real Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie!Copy !req
324. Right here at Shady Shoals.Copy !req
325. You will?Copy !req
326. Yes!Copy !req
327. And in doing so, we will
right the wrong done to youCopy !req
328. by the evil Drippy Brothers
Studios and...Copy !req
329. their actors.Copy !req
330. Vindication is ours!Copy !req
331. Vindi...Copy !req
332. How did I
get up here?Copy !req
333. Okay, Patrick,Copy !req
334. what do we need
to start a movie?Copy !req
335. Popcorn?Copy !req
336. No, Patrick, to start
making a movie.Copy !req
337. Oh, oh, oh...Copy !req
338. Let's start with...
the title.Copy !req
339. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
340. Ooh! I got one!Copy !req
341. "Adventures in
the Underground City."Copy !req
342. Great, Pat!Copy !req
343. What happens?Copy !req
344. Well, there's a city...Copy !req
345. City...Copy !req
346. and it's underground...Copy !req
347. Underground...Copy !req
348. and they have an adventure!Copy !req
349. Adventure...Copy !req
350. The end.Copy !req
351. End.Copy !req
352. That's great, Pat!Copy !req
353. Hmm, seems kinda short.Copy !req
354. I have an idea!Copy !req
355. Let's make it longer.Copy !req
356. Longer, yes!Copy !req
357. Okay, let's have
MermaidmanCopy !req
358. get his face shrunk
by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.Copy !req
359. Yeah, and then he, um...
he drinks... cheese coffee!Copy !req
360. Good one, Pat.Copy !req
361. What are
ye lads doing?Copy !req
362. We're making
a movie.Copy !req
363. Great!Copy !req
364. I got cinema's newest
star right here.Copy !req
365. What do you say, lad?Copy !req
366. Sure, Mr. Krabs,
Pearl can be in our movie.Copy !req
367. I wasn't talking about Pearl.Copy !req
368. I was talking about
the Krabby Patty.Copy !req
369. You can be
in it, too, Pearl.Copy !req
370. I'm going to be a movie star!Copy !req
371. Let's meetCopy !req
372. the highly skilled
professionalsCopy !req
373. who will help us
fulfill your dreamCopy !req
374. of being on
the big screen.Copy !req
375. Sandy will handle
the stunts and explosives.Copy !req
376. Howdy!Copy !req
377. Pearl is
the leading lady.Copy !req
378. Mr. Krabs will
cater the affair.Copy !req
379. Patrick will
run the camera.Copy !req
380. Hey...Copy !req
381. This is Squidward.Copy !req
382. He's in charge of
the makeup department.Copy !req
383. Uh, no, thanks.Copy !req
384. Who wants to be
the "makeup department"?Copy !req
385. Not makeup department,
you're the makeup artist.Copy !req
386. Artist?Copy !req
387. Makeup artist.Copy !req
388. In that case, let's make those
old crabapples sizzle.Copy !req
389. Hmm...Copy !req
390. Time for the art-eest
to go to work.Copy !req
391. Voilà!Copy !req
392. Okay, places, everybody!Copy !req
393. Squidward, are
our heroes ready?Copy !req
394. As they'll ever be.Copy !req
395. They're beautiful!Copy !req
396. They look just like
they did 30 years ago.Copy !req
397. Okay, action!Copy !req
398. I love my new job!Copy !req
399. Good job, Sandy!Copy !req
400. Psst...Copy !req
401. I, Man Ray,Copy !req
402. have returned
from the murky depthsCopy !req
403. to seek my revenge
and banish your soulsCopy !req
404. to the nether regions!Copy !req
405. Their defenses
are strong.Copy !req
406. But they're no match
for my Man-Ray ray!Copy !req
407. What are you doing?Copy !req
408. SpongeBob, this role
was made for me.Copy !req
409. That villain isn't
even in this movie.Copy !req
410. But let me see if we
have somethingCopy !req
411. that fits your
qualifications.Copy !req
412. Oh, here's something.Copy !req
413. You can be the boom operator!Copy !req
414. I thought Sandy
was the boom operator!Copy !req
415. Did somebody
say "boom"?Copy !req
416. All right, SpongeBob.Copy !req
417. But you're squandering
my talents!Copy !req
418. Okay, Patrick,
start the movie!Copy !req
419. Take one.Copy !req
420. We have to get back those
swollen Krabby Patties.Copy !req
421. Cut!Copy !req
422. No, Mermaidman,Copy !req
423. it's "stolen Krabby Patties."Copy !req
424. Take Two.Copy !req
425. We have to get backCopy !req
426. to those stolen
maggie daddies.Copy !req
427. Cut!Copy !req
428. No, Mermaidman,
it's "stolen Krabby Patties"!Copy !req
429. Take 5,003.Copy !req
430. We have to get back
those stolen Krabby Patties!Copy !req
431. And if we don't stop
that diabolical scoundrel...Copy !req
432. Give it back!Copy !req
433. I knew this was a bad idea.Copy !req
434. Cut!Copy !req
435. Plankton, next time, could you
keep the boom out of the shot?Copy !req
436. Other than that,
you're doing a super job.Copy !req
437. This is humiliating.Copy !req
438. I'm not good
at this boom thing.Copy !req
439. Did somebody say "boom"?Copy !req
440. Oh, Daddy...Copy !req
441. you said I was going
to be a star!Copy !req
442. You are, Pearl.Copy !req
443. Mermaidman wouldn't get
anywhere without you.Copy !req
444. Go out there
and break a leg!Copy !req
445. Yeah!Copy !req
446. Okay, action!Copy !req
447. To the boatmobile!Copy !req
448. Cue sound effects!Copy !req
449. Listen to that engine purr.Copy !req
450. Almost there!Copy !req
451. Good morning,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
452. Everything's ruined!Copy !req
453. Well, at least we got
the footage!Copy !req
454. Yeah, I got the footage!Copy !req
455. Patrick, what is that?Copy !req
456. Oh, it's a camera.Copy !req
457. No, Patrick, this.Copy !req
458. Oh, that's a lens cap.Copy !req
459. Did you just put that on?Copy !req
460. No, I didn't want to lose it,Copy !req
461. so I put it there right
before we started filming.Copy !req
462. The movie's ruined!Copy !req
463. We can't make a movie!Copy !req
464. Hey, little hero,Copy !req
465. this reminds me
of Episode 912.Copy !req
466. We were surrounded.Copy !req
467. The Kelp-Thing was to our rightCopy !req
468. and there was broccoli
on the side.Copy !req
469. But if there's one
thing I remember,Copy !req
470. it's how to forget.Copy !req
471. Patrick, this is good.
Roll the film.Copy !req
472. The rain in SpainCopy !req
473. stays mainly on the...Copy !req
474. Space! The final countdown!Copy !req
475. Stick to the... stick to the...Copy !req
476. Loo, my darling!Copy !req
477. Lou!Copy !req
478. Now get out there
and finish this movie, kid.Copy !req
479. Mr. Krabs, why
are you weeping?Copy !req
480. I closed early for your movie.Copy !req
481. Where are the paying customers?Copy !req
482. You promised a full house!Copy !req
483. And here comes
the filling!Copy !req
484. The Mermaidman and
Barnacleboy Fan Club.Copy !req
485. I knew you'd come seeCopy !req
486. the real Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie.Copy !req
487. Actually, the real movie
was sold out.Copy !req
488. I'll take
200 tickets, please.Copy !req
489. Now, this is what I call
a happy ending.Copy !req
490. Well, our big moment,
us up on the big screen.Copy !req
491. Fort Lox,Copy !req
492. home to over
five billion Krabby Patties.Copy !req
493. What evil mastermind would dare
infiltrate this fortified fortCopy !req
494. and make off with its treasure?Copy !req
495. It is I... Kelp-Thing!Copy !req
496. Do what I do!Copy !req
497. Stop!Copy !req
498. You can't do that...Copy !req
499. Forbidden!Copy !req
500. Watch me!Copy !req
501. Prepare to feel my wrath,Copy !req
502. you foul villain.Copy !req
503. You may have won
the Krabby Patties,Copy !req
504. but the battle rages on.Copy !req
505. Mermaidman... nacleboy...Copy !req
506. unite!Copy !req
507. Well, kid,
you showed the worldCopy !req
508. that even though our steps
may have been slowed,Copy !req
509. we still have
a little action leftCopy !req
510. in these heroic old bones.Copy !req
511. Well, at least
some of them.Copy !req