1. Are you ready, kids?
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2. Aye, aye, Captain.
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3. I can't hear you.
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4. Aye, aye, Captain!
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5. Captioning sponsored
by MTV NETWORKS
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6. Hurry, Patrick.
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7. It's almost time
for the joust.
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8. Right behind you,
SpongeBob.
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9. Welcome to Medieval Moments.
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10. You're just
20 wizard's paces away
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11. from swords, sorcery
and bad hygiene.
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12. Right this way, please.
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13. Excuse me, my good man.
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14. I believe thou meant to say,
"Righteth this wayeth."
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15. Someday... but not today.
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16. How's that
mutton, Patrick?
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17. Me thinks it's mutton-tastic.
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18. Morrie!
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19. You're supposed to announce
the jousting tournament.
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20. Good evening, uh, fair patrons
of Medieval Moments.
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21. By royal decree, we ask
that two audience members
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22. come forth and participate
in the, uh, the royal jousting.
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23. Over here! Ooh! Oh!
Over here!
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24. Pick up, pick us! Hey! Pick us! Hey!
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25. Over here! Hey...
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26. All right.
Pick us!
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27. It appears that
the pink starfish
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28. and the yellow sponge
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29. are our lucky
contestants tonight.
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30. Hooray.
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31. Isn't this
exciting, Patrick?
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32. To think, we'll be watching
the joust this close up.
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33. You won't be
watching the joust.
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34. You're in the joust.
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35. Pat, do you know
how to ride a sea horse?
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36. Nuh-uh.
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37. Mr. Sea Horse, sir,
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38. you're gentle on beginners,
aren't you?
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39. SpongeBob, help!
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40. Take his head off!
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41. I don't suppose now
would be a good time
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42. to ask for a bathroom break!
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43. Ah...!
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44. Patrick!
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45. I'm glad that's over.
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46. Look! Some employees
from the restaurant
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47. came to help us.
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48. Arrest these traitors
for committing the act
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49. of witchcraft by
falling from the sky.
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50. Whoa. They really go that extra
mile for authenticity.
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51. Salutations, fellow knights.
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52. Silence, heathen!
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53. I get the point.
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54. Nighty-night, ladies.
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55. You'll have many more in here.
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56. Gee, Pat, these props
sure are convincing.
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57. Oh, blast this confounded
instrument.
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58. If I never learn
to play with ease,
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59. may mine own great, great,
great, great, great, great,
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60. great grandson
be cursed tenfold.
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61. Squidward, what are
you doing here?
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62. Does thou talketh to me?
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63. Good one, Squidward.
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64. "Does thou talketh to me?"
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65. Scoff not, young squire.
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66. Thou has mistaken me
for another.
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67. I am Squidly,
the king's royal fool.
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68. Or at least I was
until I royally messed up.
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69. Wow, what did you do?
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70. I'll show you.
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71. What does a guy have to do to
get some mutton around here?
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72. I'm starving!
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73. Don't hold thy breath.
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74. We'll be lucky if we get fed
again by the 12th century.
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75. They sure take their
role-playing seriously
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76. around here.
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77. What's that?
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78. Not the bowling alley.
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79. Knights, jesters,
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80. dragons,
medieval bowling alleys,
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81. 12th century!
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82. Don't you see, Patrick?
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83. We really are
in medieval times.
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84. Oh, no. I think I left
the water running at home.
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85. The king wants a word
with you two.
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86. Yay!
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87. Wait. We don't leave
without Squidly.
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88. Why should I take him?
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89. Because, um...
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90. Squidly has thought
of some brilliant
songs for the king
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91. and he just has
to hear them.
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92. Isn't that right,
Squidly?
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93. Absolutely.
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94. Squidly, uh, maybe
you should wait for
the king to hear that.
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95. Suit thine self.
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96. Thou does not knowest
what thou art missing.
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97. Oh, woe is me.
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98. Woe is me. Woe is me.
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99. What to do. What to do.
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100. Father, what art thou
going on about now?
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101. Oh, just the same old thing,
dear daughter.
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102. It's that wretched wizard,
Planktonimor.
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103. His insidious dragons
destroyed half me kingdom.
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104. Soon there will be no citizens
to tax.
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105. Not one of me best knights
has been able to defeat him.
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106. Father, remember your
blood pressure.
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107. You wouldn't want another
leech treatment, would you?
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108. Your Highness.
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109. The Dungeon Master has brought
the prisoners you asked for.
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110. Well, don't just stand there,
send them in.
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111. Sure thing, Your Highness...
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112. Hey, Mr. Krabs.
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113. How dare you bark at me
in that tone, knave?
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114. I am the feared ruler
of this kingdom
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115. and will be addressed as such.
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116. Sorry.
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117. And why have you brought
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118. this fool back into
me throne room?
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119. If your majesty may be so kind,
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120. I think I have a song that
will answer all your questions.
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121. All right, all right.
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122. But this is your last chance,
fool.
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123. Oh, thank you, Sire, thank you.
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124. You won't be disappointed.
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125. Guards!
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126. Send these slanderers
to the guillotine.
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127. Wait, you don't understand.
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128. We're not from here.
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129. That's because you're witches
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130. who were sent by Planktonimor
to destroy me.
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131. No! We're time travelers.
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132. Help me out here, Patrick.
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133. I'm not sure there's
anything I can add
at this point.
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134. Okay, I'm through
playing around.
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135. Guards...
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136. No, wait!
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137. No, please.
Father, you
must spare them.
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138. Has thou forgotten
of the prophecy?
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139. What prophecy?
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140. The one right
above your head.
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141. How long has that
been there?
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142. The story tells
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143. of two brave knights
who fall from the sky
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144. and are sent by the king
to rid the lamenting town
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145. of the evil dragon controlled
by the one-eyed wizard.
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146. Father, don't you
get it? It's them.
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147. These strangers have
come to rescue us.
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148. Like in the prophecy.
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149. How dare you defile my house,
demon?
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150. Princess Pearl!
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151. I'm coming, Pearl.
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152. Prepare to meet
thy maker,
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153. foul beast!
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154. Well, I-I guess
this is it, Patrick.
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155. I guess so.
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156. I'm going to miss you,
SpongeBob.
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157. I'll miss you, too, buddy.
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158. Oh, Daddy, help!
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159. Pearl!
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160. Can no one stop this madness?
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161. You... you two...
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162. My apologies,
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163. most noble...
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164. and valued...
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165. warriors...
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166. I guess this is what you
call the royal treatment.
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167. May Neptune grant you safety
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168. on your perilous journey
to the evil wizard's castle
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169. from which no one
has escaped alive.
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170. We're going
on a perilous journey?
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171. But of course.
You're the chosen ones.
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172. Huh? What's this?
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173. A lost piece
of the prophecy?
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174. Hmm?
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175. Let me guess— more praise
for our heroic stature?
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176. Actually, it says I was supposed
to kick you out of here.
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177. Say no more,
Your Majesty.
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178. Us manly knights
are so manly,
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179. we kick ourselves
out of places.
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180. Come on, Patrick.
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181. Look out, trouble.
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182. Well, so much
for their company.
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183. Eh... on second thought,
you better go with them.
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184. They could use
the entertainment.
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185. Have it your way.
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186. Good luck, strange ones.
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187. I know we're a prophecy and all,
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188. but I don't think
we can stop the dragon
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189. with our bare hands.
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190. Yeah. We need some gloves.
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191. Perhaps yonder
blacksmith
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192. could provide some
arms for your battle.
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193. At last! An honest man
of the soil.
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194. Observe
as I effortlessly commingle
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195. with this brutish native.
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196. Greetings, Iron Man!
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197. I am Sir SpongeBob, of Bikini...
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198. Bottom.
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199. I told you people before.
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200. I'll have the rent
when I have it!
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201. We just wanted to buy
some armor.
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202. Oh, why didn't you just
say that?
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203. Hmm.
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204. I've got just the thing
for you.
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205. This is awesome.
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206. Hey, SpongeBob, get out here!
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207. Whoa, SpongeBob,
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208. you look incredible.
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209. And now, for the piece
de resistance.
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210. Your sword, brave knight.
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211. Hand-forged from anodized
dragon's skin.
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212. It is truly a weapon worthy
of a knight of your stature.
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213. A little heavy, isn't it?
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214. That's going to need
some stitches.
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215. Let me see what else I got.
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216. Unfortunately, all I have
in the way of light weaponry
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217. is this jellyfish net.
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218. That's perfect!
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219. Whah!
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220. We doth have a long journey
ahead of us.
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221. It's a good thing
I packed us a lunch
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222. of delicious krabby patties.
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223. Ooh.
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224. Thisbe the
legendary prophecy?
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225. Oh, that be-eth rich.
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226. T'would almost insult me,
were it not so funny.
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227. Planktonimor,
thou art cocky
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228. and overly-confident
with thyself.
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229. Trusteth in me, Karen.
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230. I doth knowest what I am doing.
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231. Come hither, boy.
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232. Deliver my demands
unto his majesty, King Krabs.
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233. Halt! Who goes there?
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234. Doth mine eyes betray me?
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235. 'Tis the nefarious
Dark Knight.
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236. Dark Knight?
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237. I asketh once more, before I
rip thee limb from limb.
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238. Reveal thyself.
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239. I am SpongeBob,
and this is Patrick.
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240. We've been spent to rescue
Princess Pearl
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241. from Planktonimor.
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242. If thou wisheth to get across,
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243. thou willst have to get
through me!
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244. Medieval Sandy.
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245. I know how to handle this:
with a little karate.
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246. Whah! Whah!
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247. By the hammer of Odin,
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248. this be a new
fighting style
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249. mine eyes
have not yet seen.
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250. I am bad! Oh, yeah!
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251. Whoo!
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252. Doth thou tryeth to insult me?
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253. Thou whilst drink
from the fountain of shame!
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254. Do you hear that, Patrick?
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255. I told you she zings
like a squir... Whoa!
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256. Good one, medieval Sandy.
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257. But can you handle
my feet of fury?
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258. Wouldst thou like
a little rubdown?
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259. You have bested me,
yellow knight.
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260. Strike quick and true,
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261. noble sponge.
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262. I don't understand a word
you just said.
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263. Uh, medieval Sandy?
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264. You don't
look so good.
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265. Sandy?
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266. Sandy...
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267. Huh? What?
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268. Patrick, it's working.
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269. Do it again.
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270. Thou hast spared me,
kind and noble sponge,
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271. and to thee,
I owe a debt of gratitude,
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272. for I will follow you in your
quest to defeat Planktonimor
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273. and learn a trifle
of that karate.
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274. Yeah! Karate!
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275. Whah! Cha-cha!
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276. Ow-eth.
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277. Your majesty, your majesty!
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278. A scroll hath arrived
for thee.
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279. "Thou must hand over
thy village... and they throne?
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280. Or thy daughter shall be dipped
in a cauldron of lava?"
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281. Pearl!
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282. That be the shriek
of the fair princess.
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283. Then time be of the essence.
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284. Doth we all remember thy plan?
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285. No. Uh...
I mean yes!
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286. Yes!
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287. That's what I said.
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288. Yes.
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289. Then let us forge on.
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290. Make way, heathens.
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291. Dark Knight coming through.
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292. Huh?
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293. State thy business,
Dark Knight.
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294. These village idiots
are conspirators
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295. against Master Planktonimor
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296. and I needeth to know
which form of torture
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297. thy master wishes
upon these wretched fools.
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298. Do I have their limbs tied
to horses
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299. and swiftly yanked apart— rip!
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300. Or pluck each individual
eyelash, one by one,
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301. taking away their every single
last eyelash wish?
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302. No...!
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303. No, no, no!
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304. Very well, Dark Knight.
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305. Entrance be granted.
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306. No, no, no!
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307. No, no, no!
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308. Halt!
Make a wish!
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309. Wow, goodsome thinking,
Sir SpongeBob,
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310. posing as a frightened wee babe
in ye old diapers
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311. did make it
most believable.
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312. Yeah, you think
we fooled them?
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313. Princess Pearl.
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314. I must fulfill
the prophecy
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315. while you untie Patrick
and the royal doofus.
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316. That be royal fool.
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317. Hang on, Pearl.
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318. We're coming to rescue you.
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319. Whew.
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320. Freedom is at hand.
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321. We're a-coming.
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322. Almost there.
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323. Oh, dear Neptune.
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324. Soon, the king's village
will be mine.
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325. Mine!
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326. Mine!
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327. Unhand her...
fiend!
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328. The prophecy is nigh.
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329. We're here to
rescue you, Pearl.
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330. Whew!
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331. Could I get a
glass of water?
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332. Sparkling or regular?
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333. Psyche-eth!
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334. You truly are
the nastiest wizard
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335. in all of Bikini Bottomshire.
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336. Prepare to be vanquished!
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337. Bring it on-eth, knave.
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338. Huh? What the... where?
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339. Oh...
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340. I didn't see you,
you're so tiny.
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341. That tickles.
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342. Tiny powers!
Tiny powers!
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343. I be-eth okay.
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344. Wow... Huh?
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345. Yes! Yes!
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346. Sicceth them, boy!
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347. Perhaps a soothing
limerick will calm thee.
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348. Everyone be-eth a critic.
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349. No, no, no, no!
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350. Dead end for you, simpletons.
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351. Wait a second.
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352. Wow, the boys back home
will never believe this.
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353. I'm right here,
and I don't believe it.
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354. Whoa!
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355. No! No!
No! no!
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356. Well, I guess
this is it, Pat.
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357. Yeah.
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358. Hey, can we eat those
krabby patties now?
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359. Sure, buddy.
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360. Yay!
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361. Hey!
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362. Patrick, look,
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363. he's eating the
krabby patty.
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364. Huh?
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365. No, no, no!
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366. The horror, the horror!
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367. No, Patrick,
it's a good thing.
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368. It is?
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369. Sure it is.
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370. Just listen to him purr.
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371. He loves that
krabby patty.
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372. Forsooth, what be-eth
going on here?
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373. Destroy them!
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374. Do it now, or so help me...
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375. Um, I'd be more than happy
to make you some more
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376. of those delicious
krabby patties.
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377. Curses. You win.
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378. Make way. Thy king's heroes
cometh through.
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379. Order up!
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380. Hmm. I doth wonder if I couldst
sell these... krabby patties.
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381. Ah, that
horrible noise.
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382. Oh, make it stop!
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383. Whoa!
Whoa!
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384. Hey, kid, are you okay?
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385. That was some fall
you had.
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386. Oh. I guess I shouldn't
have agitated that sea horse.
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387. That was some dream,
huh, Patrick?
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388. Patrick?
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389. Try telling that to Squidly.
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