SpongeBob SquarePants 4x5

Directed by Vincent Waller

Mr. Krabs gets a new toy vender by the name of "Skill Crane." At first, Squidward doesn't like it, but when Mr. Krabs lets him and SpongeBob give it a try, Squidward becomes obsessed with it. Can he win anything from the Skill Crane before it ruins his life?

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Are you ready, kids?

2. Aye, aye, Captain!

3. I can't hear you.

4. Aye, aye, Captain!

5. Captioning sponsored by MTV NETWORKS

6. Here they come, lads!

7. Hooray!

8. Fantastic.

9. Thank you very much, madam.

10. I feel so alive!

11. Please don't do that again.

12. I think the stained-glass barstool can go over here

13. and the pseudo hand-carved wooden sports flag display case

14. can go over there.

15. Ahoy there, matey.

16. Can I help you gentlemen?

17. Are you the owner?

18. Who wants to know?

19. Allow me to introduce myself.

20. Howard Blandy, President, Blandy Franchising Company.

21. Howard Blandy!

22. You mean the Howard Blandy?

23. The Howard Blandy that masterminded

24. the ruthless takeover of every small, family-owned business

25. in Bikini Bottom?

26. ThatHoward Blandy?

27. I worship you!

28. Get it together a little, man.

29. Sorry, it's just that... you're rich.

30. I'm Mr. Krabs.

31. To what do I owe the honor

32. of having you here, Howard?

33. What would it take to buy the Krusty Krab?

34. Buy the Krusty Krab?

35. It's not for sale.

36. You know, I may not make as much

37. as your fancy-schmancy mega restaurant chain,

38. but it's the blood, sweat and tears of a hard day's work.

39. It's not about the...

40. Holy sweet mother of pearl!

41. I like the way you think, Blandy.

42. But it'll take a lot more

43. than a suitcase full of cash

44. to buy the Krusty Krab from me.

45. Oh, there's a lot more than that.

46. The rest is over there.

47. Jumping King Neptune!

48. Sold— give me my money.

49. First, sign this contract.

50. You relinquish the Krusty Krab and all ownership thereof

51. along with its employees, merchandise, logos

52. and cash registers.

53. I still get the money?Yes.

54. That'll be fine then.

55. Here you go.

56. Now, give me, give me!

57. Whoo-ha!

58. See you 'round!

59. What's happening?

60. Mr. Krabs!

61. Mr. Krabs, they're putting up pennants in the Krusty Krab.

62. What's going on?

63. I'm retiring!

64. Retiring?

65. I'm free to do whatever I want.

66. I can learn how to ride that bicycle I got 30 years ago.

67. Or go to the new hook museum downtown.

68. Or ever paint bowls of fruit.

69. Aren't you happy for me?

70. I sure am.

71. So long, boys!

72. Have fun, Mr. Krabs.

73. Heaven knows I won't.

74. Hi, gentlemen.

75. I'm Carl, your new manager.

76. New manager?

77. I think you'll find working at the Krabby O'Mondays

78. to be both a learning experience and an enjoyable one.

79. Krabby O'Mondays?

80. You won't need these anymore.

81. Now, here are your new uniforms

82. and here are the...

83. employee manuals.

84. See you first thing tomorrow.

85. Ah...

86. The sweet smell of a brand new day!

87. First stop, the new hook museum.

88. Then maybe I'll...

89. Hey... the Krabby O'Mondays?

90. Not the name I would've chosen.

91. But that's all behind me now.

92. The three-pronged J hook was first sighted in local water

93. more than one hundred years ago.

94. Wait a minute...

95. I hate golf!

96. Well, I've done everything I wanted to do

97. and it's not even noon.

98. Did you see the shoes she had on?

99. So last-year!

100. Hold on, Gina.

101. Yeah, Dad?

102. How's it going?

103. Fine.

104. What're you up to?

105. I'm talking on the phone!

106. Oh, really?

107. Really.

108. Oh.

109. Dad, isn't there something

110. you need to do?

111. Well, actually I was hoping

112. you and I could do something together.

113. Get out!

114. That's it, Dad.

115. Get a job, get a hobby, or get some friends,

116. because I can't take it anymore!

117. Get some friends, she says.

118. Find a hobby, she says.

119. Get a job, she says.

120. Oh...

121. "Help Wanted."

122. Hmm.

123. Ahoy there, mateys.

124. Welcome to the Krabby O'Mondays...

125. It's my birthday.

126. Can I start you off with...

127. Will you sing the Krabby Monday's birthday song

128. to my special little man?

129. Happy, happy birthday...

130. Happy, happy...

131. Uh, Squidward?

132. Can I talk to you for a second?

133. What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?

134. "Sincere service with a smile."

135. Well, yes...

136. but with the Krabby O'Mondays spirit.

137. Now, Squidward, you wouldn't want

138. to have to talk to Human Resources...

139. would you?

140. So, what's our motto again?

141. Uh... uh... sincere service... with a smile.

142. Now you're getting it.

143. Morning, SpongeBob!

144. Mr. Krabs!

145. What are you doing here?

146. Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be,

147. so I'm the new busboy.

148. Uh, okay, son,

149. you're starting to creep me out.

150. I knew you'd come back, Mr. Krabs,

151. I just knew you would!

152. Okay, boy, back to work.

153. Aye-aye, sir.

154. I'm not your boss anymore.

155. Just call me Eugene.

156. Aye-aye... Eugene.

157. Ahoy, Squidward!

158. Ahoy, Eugene!

159. Would you mind clearing this table for me?

160. Sure, Squidward.

161. You know, I've never seen you so happy.

162. They're watching us.

163. That guy's a real pain in the hindquarters, hey, Squiddy?

164. Uh, Eugene, I think you need to look

165. at page 20 of our employee handbook again.

166. Oh, I don't need Carl's silly rules.

167. I really think you should look.

168. What's this?

169. "Help me."

170. Hey, fellas, what's going on over here?

171. Oh, hey, Carl.

172. I was just reminding Eugene

173. of article 24, section three

174. of the employee handbook.

175. "Cut the chatter and pick up a platter."

176. Good job, Squidward.

177. What have you done with the real Squidward?

178. The less you know, Eugene, the better.

179. What's going on around here?

180. Where's SpongeBob?

181. Where's the love?

182. SpongeBob!

183. What happened to the Krabby Patties?

184. I tried to tell them,

185. but they wouldn't listen to me!

186. This is obscene!

187. Carl!

188. I need to have a word...

189. Your change is $1.75.

190. Automated cash register?

191. No!

192. Hey, Carl, what have you done with me restaurant?

193. Processed Krabby Patties, computerized registers...

194. Look around you.

195. Our customers are quite content

196. with the contrived and the mediocre.

197. That's because they don't know

198. what they're eating.

199. Excuse me, ma'am, do you know

200. what's in that Krabby Patty you're eating?

201. No.

202. See that?

203. Without all your smoke and mirrors,

204. no one would stomach this garbage.

205. What'd he say?

206. Garbage?

207. Eugene, you're in violation of your contract.

208. Rules!

209. Here's a rule for you:

210. people can't eat stained-glass barstools!

211. I'll show you automated.

212. Mr. Blandy, code red— free thinker!

213. Mr. Krabs, is there a problem here?

214. You better believe it!

215. I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy,

216. but after seeing this,

217. I wouldn't even spit in your direction.

218. Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand—

219. one at a time—

220. not on a conveyer belt!

221. Oh, my...

222. Does this mean I won't get that raise, sir?

223. It's ruined!

224. We'll have to sell it.

225. We'll be lucky if we get a fraction

226. of what we paid for it.

227. I'll buy it for full price.

228. Sold.

229. We won't need your contract anymore.

230. Nice doing business with you.

231. Pleasure's all mine.

232. Now get out of me restaurant.

233. Well, we did it, boys.

234. The Krusty Krab is ours again.

235. You know, in that fit of maniacal rage

236. I may have destroyed the restaurant,

237. scared away all our customers and forced us into bankruptcy—

238. because I returned nearly every penny

239. I sold this stink-heap for—

240. but I got back the love of me dear friends.

241. Really, Mr. Krabs?

242. No, not really.

243. Get back to work!

244. Oh, Squidward!

245. What do you want, SpongeBob?

246. Time for work, Squidward.

247. Another day, another dollar.

248. More like another nickel.

249. Good one, Squidward!

250. Another day, another nickel.

251. It's not that funny.

252. That's funny because it's true.

253. Carpool's over.

254. Nickel.

255. Here's your food.

256. It's not that funny!

257. Please make it stop!

258. Okay, Squidward, see you tomorrow.

259. And always check for spare change.

260. Another day, another... nickel!

261. Two Krabby Patties.

262. Thanks, kid.

263. Another day, another nickel.

264. Oh.

265. Cease your laughing, tormentor!

266. This could be my chance.

267. SpongeBob, you don't look well.

268. I don't?

269. No.

270. You should sit down.

271. Shh...

272. You're burning up, SpongeBob.

273. I am?

274. Tell me, SpongeBob,

275. have your sides been hurting?

276. Yeah, a little.

277. And your temperature is 175 degrees!

278. Is that bad?

279. Oh, no, no, no, no, no...

280. unless you've been doing a lot of... laughing.

281. I have been laughing a lot lately.

282. SpongeBob,

283. you've got to be careful.

284. You're going to burn out your laughbox.

285. My laughbox?

286. Yes, it's the part of your body

287. that enables laughter.

288. If you use it too long without giving it a break

289. it burns out and you can never laugh again.

290. Is that what happened to you, Squidward?

291. Yes... What? No!

292. Listen, SpongeBob, this is serious!

293. If you burn out your laughbox,

294. you'll live your whole life

295. without ever laughing again.

296. Hey, Patrick, you want to hear a joke?

297. Sure, Sandy.

298. Sure, I'd love a good laugh.

299. What has four wheels and flies?

300. A garbage truck!

301. I don't want to burn out my laughbox, Squidward.

302. Well, the most important thing is to stop laughing.

303. Any laugh at all could be dangerous.

304. How long do I have to avoid laughing?

305. Gosh, SpongeBob, I'd say

306. at least the rest of the day,

307. but you better go 24 hours just to be safe.

308. Thank you so much, Squidward.

309. I don't know what I'd do without you!

310. A day without laughter is a small price to pay

311. to save my laughbox from destruction.

312. I must remain vigilant.

313. Nothing funny over there.

314. Nothing funny over here.

315. Hey, SpongeBob!

316. How's it going?

317. Patrick— banana peel— don't!

318. What did you say...

319. Oh, no...

320. Hey, what the...

321. Wait a minute, Patrick!

322. Please stop!

323. Right foot first...

324. Wait, Patrick, I can't laugh.

325. You can't?

326. Oh, I know what to do.

327. That usually knocks him out.

328. Get a grip on yourself, SpongeBob.

329. You're in control.

330. Just back away from the whoopie cushion, SpongeBob.

331. They're everywhere!

332. Everywhere!

333. Look out for that pie truck!

334. I've got to get out of here!

335. There's nothing funny up here.

336. But just to be safe...

337. Ah, I made it 24 hours without laughing.

338. That's odd.

339. I've lost my laugh.

340. I've lost my laugh!

341. Hi, SpongeBob.

342. It's terrible, Patrick—

343. I can't laugh anymore.

344. What happened?

345. I went a whole day without laughing

346. and now my laugh is gone.

347. Let me take a look.

348. Hmm... it's dark in here.

349. I'd better light a match.

350. Come in.

351. Mr. Krabs?

352. What's wrong, boy?

353. I lost my laugh.

354. You've come to the right place, son.

355. You know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh.

356. Don't it just tickle you, boy?

357. Not really.

358. This calls for drastic measures.

359. I don't usually do this,

360. but you seem desperate.

361. Touch it.

362. Nothing.

363. Oh, this is worse than I thought.

364. After all, money is the ultimate source of joy.

365. Maybe I should ask Sandy.

366. She's a scientist.

367. Oh, it's easy if you approach it scientifically, SpongeBob.

368. Now, what is laughter?

369. The thing that used to give my life meaning and purpose

370. but now mocks me with its cruel indifference.

371. Scientifically, it's caused by

372. your epiglottis constricting your larynx,

373. causing irregular air intake and respiratory upset.

374. Sounds painful.

375. Science makes everything sound painful.

376. Now, here's some humor-theory textbooks,

377. laugh mechanics and the quantum giggle theory.

378. Thank you, Sandy.

379. Sure is peaceful around here

380. since SquarePants became a sad sack.

381. I've read all the books, and still nothing.

382. I guess I'll never laugh again.

383. I really hate to see the little guy so sad,

384. but not as much as I hate to see him happy.

385. I think I found the one thing I hate more than his laugh.

386. I'm sure he'll cry himself out soon.

387. What have I done?

388. Oh, that's it.

389. This charade has to end!

390. Hi, Squidward.

391. SpongeBob, this infernal crying has to stop!

392. But Squidward, I... I broke my laughbox!

393. SpongeBob, there's no such thing as a laughbox!

394. I made the whole thing up

395. to get some peace from your insipid laughter!

396. You mean my laughbox isn't broken?

397. And it was a cruel lie

398. that sent me into spiraling depression?

399. Uh... yeah, well, it sounds pretty harsh

400. when you put it that way, but... yeah.

401. I could laugh the whole time?

402. Yeah.

403. You really fell for it!

404. I guess I did.

405. You even fell for the old

406. thermometer-in- the-boiling-oil routine!

407. It's not really that funny, Squidward.

408. It's hilarious!

409. See you later, Squidward.

410. Break your laughbox!

411. What a schlemiel!

412. Whoo-hoo-hoo!

413. Look, he's waking up.

414. Oh... where am I?

415. You're in the hospital, silly.

416. You broke your laughbox.

417. The doctor said it was the most tiny, dried out,

418. underused laughbox he'd ever laid eyes on.

419. So they cut it out.

420. Cut it out?

421. Yeah! Want to see it?

422. It's fun to shake it up

423. and watch it bounce around.

424. Oh, give me!

425. Oh, I can never laugh again?

426. Nonsense— your laugh should be stronger than ever.

427. But you cut out my laughbox.

428. Yes, but one of your friends has generously allowed us

429. to transplant part of theirs to you.

430. Nope.

431. They wouldn't pay me.

432. You're getting warmer.

433. SpongeBob?

434. Hey, you laugh just like me!

435. Oh, there he goes, off to share his laughter with the world.

436. Captioned by