1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Wow, I'm really late again.Copy !req
8. Maybe they'll finally fire me.Copy !req
9. What? Locked?Copy !req
10. This isn't happening. This isn't happening.Copy !req
11. SpongeBob?Copy !req
12. The horror— it's unspeakable.Copy !req
13. Don't you see, Squidward?Copy !req
14. It's closed!Copy !req
15. The Krusty Krab is closed!Copy !req
16. You mean I got out of bed
for nothing?Copy !req
17. The doors are locked—Copy !req
18. the doors are locked
and we are on the outside!Copy !req
19. Outsiders.Copy !req
20. What are we going to do Squidward?Copy !req
21. There are Krabby Patties inside
all alone.Copy !req
22. Just stand aside, lad,Copy !req
23. and let me unlock the door.Copy !req
24. Mr. Krabs, you're here!Copy !req
25. Gosh, Mr. Krabs,
we were worriedCopy !req
26. something might have
happened to you.Copy !req
27. World would've been deprived of
the greatest food
known to man.Copy !req
28. Oh, you made me
drop me keys.Copy !req
29. Give me some space, lad!Copy !req
30. Can't I get a little space?Copy !req
31. I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
32. Harsh.Copy !req
33. Argh! Me back!Copy !req
34. Are you hurt,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
35. No, I'm just doubled over
in painCopy !req
36. fighting back tears in me eyes
because it's a new dance craze!Copy !req
37. Oh, I thought
you were hurt.Copy !req
38. I am hurt, you idiot!Copy !req
39. I'm sorry I snapped
at you, laddie.Copy !req
40. It's just me back
is killing me.Copy !req
41. It's me old lumpy mattress—Copy !req
42. it's like trying to sleep
on broken coral.Copy !req
43. I'm going out of me mind.Copy !req
44. Ouch! Oh, me back.Copy !req
45. Poor Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
46. What are we going to do,
Squidward?Copy !req
47. Why do anything?Copy !req
48. I like the new Mr. Krabs—Copy !req
49. he yells at you more.Copy !req
50. I'm serious, Squidward.Copy !req
51. So am I. We should get him
a new mattressCopy !req
52. and surprise him
with it as a gift!Copy !req
53. Then we'll never have to
be late to work again.Copy !req
54. What?Copy !req
55. You want me to spend
my hard-earned moneyCopy !req
56. on my richer-than-me
skinflint boss?Copy !req
57. No, thank you.Copy !req
58. That's okay, Squidward!Copy !req
59. You'll warm up to the idea.Copy !req
60. Thanks for coming
with me, Patrick.Copy !req
61. No problem, buddy.Copy !req
62. I always wanted to go
to a mattress store.Copy !req
63. Wow!
Wow!Copy !req
64. I've never seen
so many mattresses.Copy !req
65. Yeah.Copy !req
66. How many do you think
there are?Copy !req
67. Ten.Copy !req
68. Cool. There's plenty more
than that.Copy !req
69. Try 'em out—
find one you like.Copy !req
70. Ooh!Copy !req
71. What are you morons doing?Copy !req
72. Making a card for Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
73. To go with his new mattress.Copy !req
74. Oh, I see, you're just
kissing up to the bossCopy !req
75. to make me look bad!Copy !req
76. Well, I won't stand for it!Copy !req
77. Give me that card!Copy !req
78. Hmm! Trying to outsmart me,
will you?Copy !req
79. Ha-ha!Copy !req
80. There, I signed it
for all of us.Copy !req
81. Hey, you didn't even help pay.Copy !req
82. Oh, that's okay.Copy !req
83. As long as Mr. Krabs is happy.Copy !req
84. Oh, me back!Copy !req
85. Well, here goes
another useless attemptCopy !req
86. to sleep on me mountainous,
lumpy mattress.Copy !req
87. Argh!Copy !req
88. That's queer— me mattress seems
strangely cozyCopy !req
89. and... butter... like.Copy !req
90. Surprise!Copy !req
91. Armageddon! What?
You? Oh! You?Copy !req
92. What in a blue-eyed scallop
are you doing in me bedroom?Copy !req
93. We noticed how miserable
you wereCopy !req
94. on your lumpy, old mattress...Copy !req
95. So Isuggested
we get you a new one.Copy !req
96. I thought it was
your idea.Copy !req
97. So, where's
me old mattress then?Copy !req
98. Don't worry, I took care of that
personally, too.Copy !req
99. I had it hauled away
to the dump.Copy !req
100. All... my... money
was in that mattress!Copy !req
101. What? Haven't you ever heard of
a bank?Copy !req
102. No!Copy !req
103. Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
104. No...!Copy !req
105. And we got you
a card.Copy !req
106. Is there money in it?
Nope.Copy !req
107. Is it serious, Doctor?Copy !req
108. Will Mr. Krabs
be all right?Copy !req
109. Mr. Krabs is in a cash-coma.Copy !req
110. Only the return of his money
can save his life.Copy !req
111. It was
SpongeBob's fault!Copy !req
112. Getting Mr. Krabs
a new mattress
was hisidea!Copy !req
113. I knew it!Copy !req
114. Not so fast!Copy !req
115. This card says, "This was all
my idea! Love, Squidward."Copy !req
116. If Mr. Krabs doesn't
pull through,Copy !req
117. you're going to jail.Copy !req
118. Oh... you did this,
SquarePants!Copy !req
119. If you don't get
Mr. Krabs' mattress back,Copy !req
120. I am going to mur...Copy !req
121. Help you do it myself.Copy !req
122. Wow, he really does care.Copy !req
123. What a dump.Copy !req
124. We've got to get
in there, Squidward.Copy !req
125. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.Copy !req
126. SpongeBob, isn't thatCopy !req
127. the mattress over there?Copy !req
128. Terrific, Patrick,
you found it!Copy !req
129. What? Where? Let me see!Copy !req
130. Over there, Squidward,Copy !req
131. underneath that really big
guard worm.Copy !req
132. Oh, that figures.Copy !req
133. Oh, no! This is horrible.Copy !req
134. What is it, Doctor?Copy !req
135. This man has no insurance.Copy !req
136. He'll never be able
to afford this room.Copy !req
137. You're right, nurse.Copy !req
138. Extract the patient to the hallway, stat!Copy !req
139. Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress
all right. Let's go get it.Copy !req
140. Okay, here's the plan:Copy !req
141. You two quietly go in there,Copy !req
142. remove the mattress
out from under the guard wormCopy !req
143. without "waking the worm."Copy !req
144. Why not?Copy !req
145. Because that would
be rude, Patrick.Copy !req
146. And nothing's meaner
than a junkyard worm.Copy !req
147. He'll eat you alive!Copy !req
148. Hey, wait a minute.Copy !req
149. What are you going to do?Copy !req
150. Oh, I've got
the most important job.Copy !req
151. I'm going to keep watch
to make sure it's safe.Copy !req
152. Gee, thanks, buddy.Copy !req
153. My pleasure.Copy !req
154. Now let's get
a move on.Copy !req
155. Ah, isn't it beautiful,
Patrick?Copy !req
156. You can see everything
from up here.Copy !req
157. Wow!Copy !req
158. What are you morons doing?Copy !req
159. Hey, Patrick, I think
I can see our houses
from here.Copy !req
160. Where? I can't see 'em.Copy !req
161. Wow!
Wow!Copy !req
162. Let's do it again!Copy !req
163. What did you idiots do?Copy !req
164. Squidward, what are you doing
in there?Copy !req
165. You were supposed to keep watch!Copy !req
166. Yeah, and you woke up
the guard worm, too!Copy !req
167. I didn't do it!Copy !req
168. You blockheads woke...Copy !req
169. the... worm.Copy !req
170. Doctor?Copy !req
171. Yes, Doctor.Copy !req
172. Regarding your patient,
I have come to this conclusion.Copy !req
173. Yes, go on.
!
We have to remove himCopy !req
174. from in front of
the candy machineCopy !req
175. so I can get to
the Nutty-Nut Bar.Copy !req
176. Of course.
Nurse!Copy !req
177. I'm on it.Copy !req
178. Worm Bait to Retriever,Copy !req
179. Worm Bait to Retriever,
we're in.Copy !req
180. Out. Retriever to Worm Bait,Copy !req
181. stay in, don't go out.Copy !req
182. Understood. Out.Copy !req
183. No, in! Out.Copy !req
184. Understood. Out.Copy !req
185. You're on the far side
of the dump? right?Copy !req
186. Affirmative.
Good, then make lots of noiseCopy !req
187. to draw the guard wormCopy !req
188. away from the mattress
so I can retrieve it.Copy !req
189. Affirmative. Out.Copy !req
190. Oh, that's why he calls
himself the Retriever.Copy !req
191. Why are we called
Worm Bait? I don't know.Copy !req
192. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
193. Great idea, Patrick!Copy !req
194. And my perfect plan
falls into place.Copy !req
195. Uh, SpongeBob?
Yes, Patrick?Copy !req
196. I think I know why
our code name
is Worm Bait.Copy !req
197. Nice worm.Copy !req
198. Good, kind, gentle worm.Copy !req
199. Ooh!Copy !req
200. Oh, SpongeBob,
he likes your wooden spoon.Copy !req
201. Huh?Copy !req
202. Wow, I think
you're right, Patrick.Copy !req
203. See if he plays catch!Copy !req
204. Okay.Copy !req
205. See the stick, boy.
Go get it, boy!Copy !req
206. Coast is clear.Copy !req
207. Squiddy, you are a genius.Copy !req
208. Ouch! What the...?Copy !req
209. Hey, I needed a wooden spoon.Copy !req
210. I'll just keep it safe from harm
in my back pocket.Copy !req
211. And now for the mattress.Copy !req
212. I should have guessed.Copy !req
213. Excuse me, Doctor.Copy !req
214. Administrator,
what can I do for you?Copy !req
215. It has come to my attentionCopy !req
216. that your patient, Mr. Krabs,
is out on the front sidewalk.Copy !req
217. Yes. Yes, he is.Copy !req
218. What were
you thinking, man?Copy !req
219. We're trying to run
a business.Copy !req
220. We can't leave patients
on the sidewalk.Copy !req
221. Not to worry. Nurse!Copy !req
222. I'm on it.Copy !req
223. Alright you two, what's the holdup?Copy !req
224. We feel silly!Copy !req
225. Come on, do it
for old man Krabs.Copy !req
226. Okay.Copy !req
227. Can you explain the plan again Squidward?Copy !req
228. Sure, but first,
put on this cologne.Copy !req
229. Steak sauce?Copy !req
230. Okay, so you two are dressed
as choice cuts.Copy !req
231. You go in thereCopy !req
232. and yell
"Trick or treat!"Copy !req
233. The worm will realize he forgot
to stock up on Halloween candy,Copy !req
234. he'll leave to buy some,
then we take the mattress.Copy !req
235. Give me that cologne.Copy !req
236. Now get in there!Copy !req
237. Happy Halloween Squidward!Copy !req
238. I am not going to get hurt
this time.Copy !req
239. What the...?Copy !req
240. Isn't that Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
241. That guard worm
doesn't look very happy.Copy !req
242. Run, Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
243. Run like you're not in a coma!Copy !req
244. It's... me money!Copy !req
245. Oh, money! I promise I'll never leave
you alone again.Copy !req
246. Hey, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
247. No, Mr. Krabs, it's us.Copy !req
248. Trick or treat.Copy !req
249. Oh, hey, SpongeBob.Copy !req
250. I didn't recognize you.Copy !req
251. Say, why are you two
dressed as meat?Copy !req
252. Not just meat—
we're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?Copy !req
253. Oh, I give up.Copy !req
254. And so passes
another sleepless nightCopy !req
255. haunted by my inability to steal
even a single Krabby Patty.Copy !req
256. Maybe today will be
the day.Copy !req
257. Thank you for
your patronizing words,Copy !req
258. computer wife.Copy !req
259. Do you even have a plan?Copy !req
260. Plan, schman—
I'm going to wing it.Copy !req
261. What's the worst thing
that could happen?Copy !req
262. I'm in.Copy !req
263. That was easy.Copy !req
264. Maybe today is the dayCopy !req
265. I'm going to steal
the Krabby Patty formula...Copy !req
266. Careful,
I just mopped there.Copy !req
267. Look at you, Plankton,Copy !req
268. Once again you've fallen
flat on your backCopy !req
269. in another pathetic attempt
to steal me formula.Copy !req
270. Though you tried
and tried,Copy !req
271. you haven't had
the smallest nibbleCopy !req
272. of my delicious formula.Copy !req
273. And you never will!Copy !req
274. How do you sleep at nightCopy !req
275. knowing you're
a complete failure?Copy !req
276. There really should be
a "Wet Floor" sign.Copy !req
277. Yeah, if that were me
who slipped,Copy !req
278. I'd sue old man KrabsCopy !req
279. for all
he's got.Copy !req
280. Does that include
the Krabby Patty formula?Copy !req
281. Of course.Copy !req
282. Oh, the pain!Copy !req
283. I can't feel my arms and legs!Copy !req
284. I think they're broken.Copy !req
285. I'll have to sue
for my pain and suffering.Copy !req
286. Sue?Copy !req
287. Oh, that looks bad.Copy !req
288. Uh-oh.Copy !req
289. Poor little man.Copy !req
290. Hold up a second!Copy !req
291. Plankton, we don't need
to drag this little incidentCopy !req
292. into court, do we?
Well...Copy !req
293. if you transfer
the Krabby Patty formula to me,Copy !req
294. I'll forget
your gross negligence.Copy !req
295. Scoundrel!Copy !req
296. You'll have my formulaCopy !req
297. when you pry it
from me lifeless claws!Copy !req
298. See you in court, Krabs!Copy !req
299. Uh, I mean...Copy !req
300. Oh, the pain!Copy !req
301. The deep frying
pain!Copy !req
302. I'm in a blue ruin.Copy !req
303. I'm doomed.Copy !req
304. Don't worry, Mr. Krabs,
I will do whatever it takesCopy !req
305. to keep the Krusty Krab formulaCopy !req
306. from getting into
Plankton's evil hands.Copy !req
307. What I really need is
a good lawyer.Copy !req
308. Hello, did somebody
say "lawyer"?Copy !req
309. Richard A. Bottomfeeder,
Attorney At Law.Copy !req
310. I couldn't help but notice
that despicable display.Copy !req
311. So, uh, how much is this
going to cost me?Copy !req
312. Actually, I won't charge you
a dime unless we win.Copy !req
313. In fact, I think
we should counter sueCopy !req
314. for everything Plankton owns.Copy !req
315. Does that happen a lot?
No, they're usually silver.Copy !req
316. Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
317. What is it, lad?Copy !req
318. I thought you might want to hear
my testimonyCopy !req
319. for when you call me
as a character witness?Copy !req
320. I've been rehearsing it.Copy !req
321. Actually, SpongeBob,Copy !req
322. we won't be needing
any testimony from you.Copy !req
323. Why, you'd be
more of a...Copy !req
324. of a liability
than an asset.Copy !req
325. But I...Copy !req
326. Now, run along—Copy !req
327. make things shipshape
for my victory celebration.Copy !req
328. I've got to get
to the courthouse.Copy !req
329. There's only a few
free parking places.Copy !req
330. Oh, this is going to be
a slam dunk...Copy !req
331. Oh, no!Copy !req
332. Mr. Krabs's lawyer! Speak to me!Copy !req
333. Wracked with pain...Copy !req
334. Can't move...Copy !req
335. But what about
Mr. Krabs's case?Copy !req
336. Looks like you're going to have
to handle this one, son.Copy !req
337. But I'm a...Copy !req
338. a liability.Copy !req
339. Everything
you need to win...Copy !req
340. is in this here case.Copy !req
341. Really?
Everything?Copy !req
342. Uh-huh, everything but a suit.Copy !req
343. A suit. Wonder where I could get a suit.Copy !req
344. I'll give you one last chance.Copy !req
345. I'll drop the charges
if you give me the formula.Copy !req
346. Never, you little whelp!Copy !req
347. Ow, ow, my wittle arm!Copy !req
348. What? No, I didn't
lay a claw on him.Copy !req
349. Ow... my other arm!Copy !req
350. He's lying!Copy !req
351. Bah!Copy !req
352. Court will come
to order.Copy !req
353. The Honorable
Judge Tickleback
presiding.Copy !req
354. Mr. Krabs, where is
your attorney?Copy !req
355. I don't know
where he could be.Copy !req
356. Here I am!Copy !req
357. Thank you for joining us,
Mister...Copy !req
358. SpongeBob Lawyerpants,
Your Honor.Copy !req
359. What are you doing here,
SpongeBob?Copy !req
360. Your lawyer, uh,
fell down on the job.Copy !req
361. But don't worry, Mr. Krabs,
I have everything under control.Copy !req
362. It's, uh, all in here.Copy !req
363. Really?Copy !req
364. Yup, right
in... here...Copy !req
365. Is there a problem?Copy !req
366. Uh, your lawyer didn't give me
the combination.Copy !req
367. Is the plaintiff
ready to proceed?Copy !req
368. Yes, Your Honor, I'll try.Copy !req
369. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
370. I wasn't always
the tortured shell of a protozoaCopy !req
371. that writhes in pain
before you today.Copy !req
372. I... was a vibrant carefree,
happy-go-lucky single cell.Copy !req
373. Pull yourself
together, boy.Copy !req
374. Then came the fateful day
that I paid an innocent visitCopy !req
375. to the deathtrap
known as the Krusty Krab.Copy !req
376. How's it coming, lad?Copy !req
377. Don't worry, Mr. Krabs,
I'm on the case.Copy !req
378. Upon entering
said establishment,Copy !req
379. I found myself
without any warningCopy !req
380. slipping and finally falling
onto a hard, unforgiving floorCopy !req
381. that had been
intentionally coveredCopy !req
382. with a vicious fluid.Copy !req
383. Bombs away!Copy !req
384. Ahem!Copy !req
385. Are you quite finished?Copy !req
386. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
387. Where was I? Oh, yeah.Copy !req
388. But the worst part is...Copy !req
389. my dreams of completing
a marathon,Copy !req
390. like I promised my old Grammy,
have been dashed.Copy !req
391. I'm sorry, Gram-Gram!Copy !req
392. Sorry!Copy !req
393. Thank you for your
kind attention.Copy !req
394. Suckers.Copy !req
395. Does the defense have
an opening statement?Copy !req
396. Yes, Your Honor.Copy !req
397. Poor Gram-Gram!Copy !req
398. Mr. Krabs, can you
identify this item?Copy !req
399. It's a "Wet Floor" sign.Copy !req
400. Do you own one?Copy !req
401. Uh, well... um...Copy !req
402. No, I don't.Copy !req
403. No, no, you don't understand!Copy !req
404. I had to make some tough
business decisionsCopy !req
405. and the sign seemed...
superfluous.Copy !req
406. No more questions.Copy !req
407. Your witness,
Mr. Lawyerpants.Copy !req
408. Huh?Copy !req
409. Sometime today, Mr. Pants.Copy !req
410. May it please the court, ladies
and gentlemen of the jury,Copy !req
411. my client has been called
"cheap,"miserly,"Copy !req
412. and "chronically
tightfisted."Copy !req
413. Uh... um...Copy !req
414. But if he were as cheap
as the prosecution claims he is,Copy !req
415. would he be able
to sit there quietlyCopy !req
416. while I took out a dollar and
dropped it in the blender?Copy !req
417. No! No! No!Copy !req
418. Daddy's got you.
Daddy's got you.Copy !req
419. Daddy's here.Copy !req
420. Uh...Copy !req
421. A little glue,
a little tape—Copy !req
422. you'll be right
as rain.Copy !req
423. Daddy didn't forget you.Copy !req
424. Uh...Copy !req
425. Does the defense have
any witness to call?Copy !req
426. Yes, Your Honor.Copy !req
427. Defense calls...Copy !req
428. Squidward to the stand.Copy !req
429. Ah, Squidward,
a loyal employee.Copy !req
430. Mister, uh,
Squidward is it?Copy !req
431. My client
has been called
"cheap."Copy !req
432. Would you agree with
that ludicrous statement?Copy !req
433. Yes.
What?Copy !req
434. Allow me to rephrase the question.Copy !req
435. Can you tell the court
of some instanceCopy !req
436. of Mr. Krabs's generosity
in any way?Copy !req
437. Nope. Can I go now?Copy !req
438. One day off in three years and
I have to spend it testifying?Copy !req
439. Must... open... case.Copy !req
440. So, it was you who made
the floor slippery, wasn't it?Copy !req
441. Answer the question!Copy !req
442. Need I remind you
you are under oath?Copy !req
443. I'm doomed.Copy !req
444. You may as well give up
on that case, me boy,Copy !req
445. my goose is cooked.Copy !req
446. Mr. Krabs,
I'm surprised at you.Copy !req
447. We can't give up just because
things look bleak.Copy !req
448. This trial will be won
by what's in your heart,Copy !req
449. not what's in
this dumb old case.Copy !req
450. It's open.Copy !req
451. It's...Copy !req
452. It's just
his lunch.Copy !req
453. Or is it?Copy !req
454. Defense calls Plankton
to the stand.Copy !req
455. Why did you go into
the Krusty Krab that day?Copy !req
456. To, you know, say hello to
my once-good-friend, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
457. What?Copy !req
458. Are you sure it wasn't
to make offCopy !req
459. with one of these?Copy !req
460. Gotcha.Copy !req
461. Weren't you there
to steal the formulaCopy !req
462. of the most delicious,
sweet-smelling sandwichCopy !req
463. known to Bikini Bottom?Copy !req
464. Krabby Patty...Copy !req
465. I can't take it!Copy !req
466. Give me!Copy !req
467. Give me!
Give me!
Give me!Copy !req
468. Yippee!Copy !req
469. Finally it's mine!Copy !req
470. I'll take that.Copy !req
471. Huh?Copy !req
472. No! No! No!Copy !req
473. Once again, Plankton,Copy !req
474. the sweetest
of life's joysCopy !req
475. has eluded
your grasp.Copy !req
476. No! No! No! No!Copy !req
477. Has the jury reached a verdict?Copy !req
478. We have, Your Honor.Copy !req
479. We find the defendant...Copy !req
480. not guilty!Copy !req
481. But he is cheap.Copy !req
482. Thank you, SpongeBob. I was foolish not
to accept your helpCopy !req
483. from the beginning.Copy !req
484. That's okay, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
485. I made you a present.Copy !req
486. A present for me?Copy !req
487. Close your eyes
and hold out your hand.Copy !req
488. It's a "Wet Floor" sign. I made it myself.Copy !req
489. Well, it'll do.Copy !req
490. After all, it's free.Copy !req