1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain.Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored byCopy !req
6. I surrender!Copy !req
7. Eh?Copy !req
8. I wonder what form
of trickeryCopy !req
9. is up that miniature
cyclops' sleeve this time.Copy !req
10. All right, Plankton,Copy !req
11. I don't know what
you're trying to pull on me,Copy !req
12. but I'll tell you right now
it ain't gonna work!Copy !req
13. There's no pulling, Krabs.Copy !req
14. Can't you see my peace offering?Copy !req
15. What is this?Copy !req
16. Ha-ha!Copy !req
17. Very funny, Plankton!Copy !req
18. But you're gonna have to do
a lot betterCopy !req
19. than taking a stab
at my illiteracy to offend me!Copy !req
20. Don't you get it, Krabs?Copy !req
21. I give up.Copy !req
22. I'm through competing with you!Copy !req
23. But what about all
those fevered attemptsCopy !req
24. at trying to steal my
Krabby Patty recipe?Copy !req
25. Exactly! They've all been
just attempts,Copy !req
26. and every single one
a miserable failure!Copy !req
27. I can feel my arteries
clogging up with anxietyCopy !req
28. just thinking about it.Copy !req
29. Let me show you something.Copy !req
30. Look at this place!Copy !req
31. Aah! Crimony, Plankton!Copy !req
32. You ever hear
of spring cleaning?Copy !req
33. What's the point?Copy !req
34. Do you know when the last time
I had a customer was?Copy !req
35. Actually, I can't recall
you everhaving a customer.Copy !req
36. Well, there he is!Copy !req
37. That's why I've decided to quitCopy !req
38. the restaurant business
altogetherCopy !req
39. and turn the Chum Bucket into...Copy !req
40. this!Copy !req
41. You want to turn
your restaurant
into a pile of junk?Copy !req
42. No! These are knickknacks...Copy !req
43. for the new gift shop
I'm opening up!Copy !req
44. Come on, this has got to be
a joke, right?Copy !req
45. I'm serious, Krabs.Copy !req
46. Soon the Chum Bucket will be
a nice little storeCopy !req
47. for bric-a-brac and bubblegum.Copy !req
48. All right, Plankton,
but be aware:Copy !req
49. I'm not letting me guard down.Copy !req
50. Guard away, my ex-enemy.Copy !req
51. I'll just be here starting
my new competition-free career.Copy !req
52. What's going on,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
53. Plankton's concocted
another hair-brained schemeCopy !req
54. to steal me recipe—
so keep your eyes peeled.Copy !req
55. Whatever you say, Cap'n!Copy !req
56. Now, that's an employee
who follows orders.Copy !req
57. What in blazes is that noise?Copy !req
58. Ah, would you look at that!Copy !req
59. I have a feeling I'm gonna like
this new life of novelty items.Copy !req
60. Uh-huh! Clever, Plankton!Copy !req
61. Two can play at this game!Copy !req
62. Mr. Krabs,Copy !req
63. look at this cool knickknack
I got at the Chumporium!Copy !req
64. Hmm. I know there's a microphone
or camera in here somewhere.Copy !req
65. Uh, Mr. Krabs,
I really don't thinkCopy !req
66. there's anything weird in there.Copy !req
67. Eh, we'll see about that.Copy !req
68. I'll just put this in here
for safekeeping.Copy !req
69. You hear, Plankton?Copy !req
70. Join your other friend
from the past!Copy !req
71. Now nobody's getting
to see anything!Copy !req
72. Don't you understand?Copy !req
73. This is all part of his ruse—
it's just cosmetic.Copy !req
74. He thinks
he can fake us out.Copy !req
75. But we'll show him.Copy !req
76. We're gonna out-fake
the faker! Ha-ha!Copy !req
77. Well, it looks like
old Plankton'sCopy !req
78. really going through with it.Copy !req
79. I guess we don't have to worry
about himanymore.Copy !req
80. Yep, we sure whipped him
this time.Copy !req
81. Okay, boys, the coast is clear!Copy !req
82. Plankton's turned over
a new leaf!Copy !req
83. That's some good
news, Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
84. It sure is, you little half-wit.Copy !req
85. And you know what else
is good news?Copy !req
86. We can finally use
that deejay system.Copy !req
87. Hit it, SpongeBob!Copy !req
88. Right away, sir!Copy !req
89. Let's party!Copy !req
90. Ow! I won!Copy !req
91. It's time to boogie!Copy !req
92. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
93. This is idiotic.Copy !req
94. Dance or you're fired.Copy !req
95. You got it, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
96. How do you like themapples,
you little...Copy !req
97. Come on, buddy,
let's get some shut-eye.Copy !req
98. We've got a big day ahead of us
at the Chumporium Gift Shop.Copy !req
99. Wait a minute!Copy !req
100. What the...?Copy !req
101. Store shelves?Copy !req
102. Novelty toys?Copy !req
103. Lava lamps?Copy !req
104. Useless knickknacks?Copy !req
105. Very convincin'...Copy !req
106. but I'm still not buying it!Copy !req
107. You want a battle, Plankton?Copy !req
108. I'm gonna give you a war!Copy !req
109. Ah, a clean snow globe
is a happy snow globe.Copy !req
110. Plankton!Copy !req
111. You may have fooled
everyone else,Copy !req
112. you might have even
fooled yourself,Copy !req
113. but you ain't foolin' me!Copy !req
114. Oh.Copy !req
115. I get it—
you caught me red-handed.Copy !req
116. Those were the days,
huh, Eugene?Copy !req
117. But I found
there was more to lifeCopy !req
118. than just trying to steal
your formula.Copy !req
119. I found it all right here,
in novelty items.Copy !req
120. Bupkes!Copy !req
121. Oh, Eugene...Copy !req
122. stuck in your old ways.Copy !req
123. Bupkes! If there's one thing
that is certain in this world,Copy !req
124. it's that you can't resist
me formula!Copy !req
125. You knowCopy !req
126. you want it.Copy !req
127. Thanks... but no.Copy !req
128. Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I knew it!Copy !req
129. It was all a trick to get me
to hand over me...Copy !req
130. Wait. Did you say... no?Copy !req
131. Well, if you don't believe me,
that's yourproblem, not mine.Copy !req
132. Problem?
I don't have a problem!Copy !req
133. You're the one with the problem!Copy !req
134. Look at this.Copy !req
135. It means nothing!Copy !req
136. It's all a facade! A hoax!Copy !req
137. A con! A front!Copy !req
138. A sham! A snow job!Copy !req
139. Baloney with a side of flimflamCopy !req
140. and an order of jive!Copy !req
141. See? Who's the one
with the problem?Copy !req
142. Look... what you've done.Copy !req
143. This is my livelihood!Copy !req
144. Sureit is!Copy !req
145. And this isn'tthe formula
that you don'twant.Copy !req
146. Come on, eh? Eh?Copy !req
147. Woop. Too slow.Copy !req
148. Ah, ga-ga-
ga-ga-ga.Copy !req
149. Get... out!Copy !req
150. Huh?Copy !req
151. Oh. I get it.Copy !req
152. Stick to your guns and
eventually we'll all believe it.Copy !req
153. Soften us up,
then when our backs are turned,Copy !req
154. you make your move.Copy !req
155. Oops.Copy !req
156. What's this?Copy !req
157. Hey, Krabs!Copy !req
158. Huh? What?
I knew you'd come back.Copy !req
159. You forgot
something.Copy !req
160. Can't you understand,
I've wasted so much timeCopy !req
161. chasing after you, and now
I have something that's mine.Copy !req
162. And it makes me... happy.Copy !req
163. I never thought I'd see the day.Copy !req
164. What happened to
the invertebrate I usedto know?Copy !req
165. Plankton!Copy !req
166. Coming, coming.Copy !req
167. Whew!Copy !req
168. Yo.Copy !req
169. Uh, Plankton? Eugene?Copy !req
170. Uh... hey.Copy !req
171. Hey.Copy !req
172. Listen, uh,
I just wanted to...Copy !req
173. you know... apologize
for my behavior today.Copy !req
174. Wasn't right what I done, and...Copy !req
175. and I realized I hurt
the feelings of, uh...Copy !req
176. of, uh, someone I care about.Copy !req
177. You still there?Copy !req
178. Yeah.Copy !req
179. I'm still here.Copy !req
180. Good.Copy !req
181. Uh...Copy !req
182. I want to make it up to you.Copy !req
183. What do you say we grab a soda?Copy !req
184. Sure.Copy !req
185. Glad you could
make it, buddy.Copy !req
186. So... what's this about, Krabs?Copy !req
187. I thought that since we're
no longer archenemies,Copy !req
188. maybe...Copy !req
189. maybe we can...
start over?Copy !req
190. Yes.Copy !req
191. Yes, I would like that
very much.Copy !req
192. I guess I won.Copy !req
193. Uh, I don't know about this,
Plankton.Copy !req
194. Oh, come on, just fall back.Copy !req
195. Trust me, I'll catch you.Copy !req
196. That was truly amazing,
Plank, old buddy.Copy !req
197. I guess I really can
trust you 100%.Copy !req
198. Thanks, Eugene.Copy !req
199. That... means a lot to me.Copy !req
200. And just to prove it to you,Copy !req
201. I want you
to have something.Copy !req
202. No, no, come on,
now, no gifts.Copy !req
203. No, no. I want you
to have this.Copy !req
204. It's me secret formula.Copy !req
205. I can't believe
you would even think...Copy !req
206. But things are different now.Copy !req
207. Honestly,
it would mean a lot to me.Copy !req
208. You... you're serious.Copy !req
209. Eugene, if I take this formula
from you now,Copy !req
210. there will always be
a hint of doubt.Copy !req
211. Come on, take it.Copy !req
212. You sure?Copy !req
213. Life is good, Krabs.Copy !req
214. Sure is, buddy.Copy !req
215. Sure is.Copy !req
216. Yeah, baby!Copy !req
217. This is it!Copy !req
218. Yeah!Copy !req
219. Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
220. Yeah!Copy !req
221. I got it! I got it!Copy !req
222. My diabolical, extremely
convoluted plan worked!Copy !req
223. I should have been a politician.Copy !req
224. I'd never give
you the formula!Copy !req
225. I fooled you with an even more
convoluted charade!Copy !req
226. What a sun-tastic day!Copy !req
227. Whoa!Copy !req
228. Snail trail.Copy !req
229. That SpongeBob needs to keep
his pet out of my yard.Copy !req
230. I am sick of cleaning up
after him.Copy !req
231. Not my pet rock collection.Copy !req
232. That's it!Copy !req
233. This isn't the first time
you've soiled my yardCopy !req
234. with your revolting
excretions.Copy !req
235. But mark this down
in your little notebook.Copy !req
236. It will be the last time!Copy !req
237. Ow!Copy !req
238. This cheap splintery wood
will keep even Gary out.Copy !req
239. Now I feel safe.Copy !req
240. Huh?Copy !req
241. SpongeBob!Copy !req
242. Hi, Squidward.Copy !req
243. Hey, SpongeBob.Copy !req
244. Keep your shell vermin
off of my property!Copy !req
245. Then next time, my annoyingly
yellow neighbor,Copy !req
246. your wet pet oozes
on my lawn,Copy !req
247. you'll leave me
no choiceCopy !req
248. but to call snail control.Copy !req
249. That little monster...Copy !req
250. He bit me!Copy !req
251. Gary!Copy !req
252. No, dirty boy.Copy !req
253. This isn't like you.Copy !req
254. Oh, but it's just
like you, SpongeBob,Copy !req
255. to raise such
a misbehaved mollusk.Copy !req
256. Gary's not
misbehaved.Copy !req
257. But there does appear
to be something wrong with him.Copy !req
258. I'll say.
I hope he's
had his shots.Copy !req
259. Oh, of course.Copy !req
260. All of his shots?Copy !req
261. Affirmatory.Copy !req
262. For rabies? Yep.Copy !req
263. Snail pox and soft shell dance?Yupie.Copy !req
264. Bagitis, lumpy-bump trump,
teen angst? Yep, yep, yep.Copy !req
265. Let's not forget
the worst of them all.Copy !req
266. Mad snail disease.Copy !req
267. Uh...Copy !req
268. You mean your pet
hasn't been vaccinatedCopy !req
269. for mad snail disease?Copy !req
270. Looks like the rash
has already started.Copy !req
271. Rash?Copy !req
272. Tell me, do you have
any soreness of throat?Copy !req
273. Well, now that you
mention itCopy !req
274. my throat is
a little dry.Copy !req
275. This disease will ravage
your bodyCopy !req
276. with bloodshot eyes,
loss of balance,
Whoa.Copy !req
277. messy pants,Copy !req
278. ticklish rib cage,Copy !req
279. severely untrimmed
toenailsCopy !req
280. and finally, the bite
from that infected snailCopy !req
281. will turn you
into...Copy !req
282. A zombie.Copy !req
283. You need to get that snail
of yours to a doctorCopy !req
284. before he bites
someone important.Copy !req
285. There's a mad snail
on the loose!Copy !req
286. Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary?Copy !req
287. The mad snail is coming!Copy !req
288. If he bites you,
you'll turn into
a zombie.Copy !req
289. Jeepers, what's with
all the lunatics?Copy !req
290. Oh, look, honey,
isn't he the cutest?Copy !req
291. Come here,
little buddy.Copy !req
292. He's just adorable.Copy !req
293. Mad snail disease is real!Copy !req
294. I'm a zombie.
I've been bitten
by a mad snail.Copy !req
295. I've got mad
snail disease!Copy !req
296. Then I've got it!
A snail just bit me, too!Copy !req
297. We interrupt this program
to bring you a news blast.Copy !req
298. This just in...Copy !req
299. Fear and disease is spreading
like wildfireCopy !req
300. as a killer snail has been
biting the denizensCopy !req
301. of Bikini Bottom.Copy !req
302. Infecting them with...Copy !req
303. Ask any old fish on the street
and they'll tell youCopy !req
304. that germs enter through
the bite radius.Copy !req
305. Traveling upstream until
the entire host bodyCopy !req
306. is full of...Copy !req
307. We now take you to Action News
Reporter Perch PerkinsCopy !req
308. live on the scene.Copy !req
309. Perch Perkins here with
with the first victimCopy !req
310. of this epidemic.Copy !req
311. Tell me, Mr. Tentacles,
when did you firstCopy !req
312. begin to suspect
you were a zombie?Copy !req
313. Well, after I was bitten
by a mad snailCopy !req
314. I began to get a rash.Copy !req
315. Followed by loss of balance,
ticklish rib cageCopy !req
316. and a few other symptoms.Copy !req
317. Hey, I was bitten
by a snail.Copy !req
318. I kind of feel
off balance.Copy !req
319. Whoa.Copy !req
320. Hey, I have ticklish
ribs, too.Copy !req
321. And I haven't even
been bitten.Copy !req
322. Oh, no, it's spreading
through the air!Copy !req
323. Well, you heard it
here first.Copy !req
324. We're all doomed
to a horrible demise,Copy !req
325. thanks to a diseased snail.Copy !req
326. Gary?Copy !req
327. I can't believe that sweet
and slimy snailCopy !req
328. would cause all this
destruction.Copy !req
329. I'm a zombie,Copy !req
330. here to dine on your
squishy yellow flesh.Copy !req
331. It's locked!Copy !req
332. Somebody let me in.Copy !req
333. SpongeBob, come in, boy.Copy !req
334. And bring your friendsin, too.Copy !req
335. They lookhungry.Copy !req
336. Stop! You can't
let anyone in!Copy !req
337. But they just want to dine
on some krabby patties.Copy !req
338. They're zombies.Copy !req
339. They only want to dine
on our flesh.Copy !req
340. All right, but it's coming
out of your paycheck.Copy !req
341. I don't work here.Copy !req
342. But, Mr. Krabs,
it's me SpongeBob.Copy !req
343. But how do we know
you haven't becomeCopy !req
344. one of those voracious
flesh-eaters?Copy !req
345. Could a voracious
flesh-eater do this?Copy !req
346. SpongeBob, it's you.Copy !req
347. That's right,
so let me in
before I'm eaten.Copy !req
348. Yeah, that's SpongeBob
all right.Copy !req
349. Or is it?Huh?Copy !req
350. I don't believe that's
the real SpongeBob.Copy !req
351. He looks pretty
zombie-fied.Copy !req
352. Just look at how
yellow he is.Copy !req
353. Come on, Patrick, would a zombie
have a picture of his best buddyCopy !req
354. in his wallet?Copy !req
355. Perhaps not.Copy !req
356. But I've got
my eye on you.Copy !req
357. If you could pull out your eye
and put it on him,Copy !req
358. wouldn't that make youCopy !req
359. a zombie, too?Copy !req
360. You're right.Copy !req
361. I'm a zombie!Copy !req
362. Who's to say we're not
all zombies?Copy !req
363. The snail!Copy !req
364. Gary!Copy !req
365. Are you okay, buddy?Copy !req
366. Come here, boy.Copy !req
367. No, don't get near it.Copy !req
368. Oh, the pity of it all.Copy !req
369. I can't watch.Copy !req
370. All those people think
you're a monster,Copy !req
371. but I know you're
just a snail.Copy !req
372. Gary...Copy !req
373. how could you?Copy !req
374. SpongeBob's been infected
by his own pet snail.Copy !req
375. Oh, the irony.Copy !req
376. Quick, we must quarantine
that infected snailCopy !req
377. before he bites
every last Bikini Bottomite.Copy !req
378. Let's get that snail.Copy !req
379. Yeah!Copy !req
380. No, don't hurt him.Copy !req
381. Hand over the snail.Copy !req
382. It's for his own good,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
383. No, I won't let you
touch Gary.Copy !req
384. Stop the madness,
man.Copy !req
385. The mad snail disease
ends now.Copy !req
386. Seize the snail.Copy !req
387. Halt!Copy !req
388. Did someone say
mad snail disease?Copy !req
389. Is that what all this fuss
is about?Copy !req
390. Yeah. What do you
know about it?Copy !req
391. Funny you should ask.Copy !req
392. Allow me to introduce myself.Copy !req
393. Dr. Gill Gilliam.Copy !req
394. S.D.E. + S.E.Copy !req
395. "S.D.E. + S.E."?Copy !req
396. Snail disease expert
and snail expert.Copy !req
397. I'm sorry to break
this to you all,Copy !req
398. but that "mad snail disease"
you're talking aboutCopy !req
399. it doesn't exist.Copy !req
400. Huh?Copy !req
401. That's right, no such thing.Copy !req
402. It's an old urban legend,
a myth.Copy !req
403. Well, does that mean
we're not zombies?Copy !req
404. Of course not.Copy !req
405. No one is.Copy !req
406. It's just mass hysteria.Copy !req
407. But what about my severely
untrimmed...?Copy !req
408. Those are only
moderately untrimmed.Copy !req
409. All the supposed symptoms
are just common ailments.Copy !req
410. Easy, boy.Copy !req
411. But what about Gary then?Copy !req
412. If he doesn't have
a disease,Copy !req
413. why'd he bite
all those people
including me?Copy !req
414. Hmm?Copy !req
415. Uh-huh, the problems
right here.Copy !req
416. He's got
a little splinterCopy !req
417. in his foot.Copy !req
418. I'm sure this was causing
him distemper.Copy !req
419. Making for serious
grouchy snailitis.Copy !req
420. Oh, Gary, I knew you weren't
disease-ridden.Copy !req
421. Do you still love me?Copy !req
422. Meow.Copy !req
423. Good old Gary's back.Copy !req
424. Hey, Squidward,
you're not a zombie, remember?Copy !req
425. Oh, yes, I am.Copy !req
426. Welcome to the Krusty Krab.Copy !req
427. May I take your order?Copy !req
428. All's well that ends well.Copy !req