1. Are you ready, kids?
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2. Aye, aye, Captain!
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3. I can't hear you.
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4. Aye, aye, Captain!
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5. Captioning sponsored
by MTV NETWORKS
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6. It's here!
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7. Behold, Patrick!
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8. The official
Goofy Goober back scratcher!
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9. And it only cost me
52 box tops.
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10. Whoa.
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11. Ooh. Mm-hmm.
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12. Oh...
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13. Oh!
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14. Whoo!
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15. Oh, yeah, that's it.
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16. Let me try!
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17. Ahh...
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18. Uh... Patrick,
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19. that's not
the back scratcher.
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20. That's my arm.
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21. Oh. Sorry.
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22. You know, we shouldn't
keep this all to ourselves.
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23. We should let
Squidward try it out.
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24. Yeah!
Onward...
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25. to Squidward's house!
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26. Go away!
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27. To Sandy's house!
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28. Hey, Sandy,
you gotta see this.
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29. Sandy?
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30. What's going on here?
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31. Sandy, are you okay?
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32. What's wrong, Sandy?
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33. They're coming!
They're coming!
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34. The chimps
are coming?
Who?
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35. My bosses!
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36. They're coming
for an inspection!
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37. I've worked day and night
for a week,
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38. but none of my inventions
are any good.
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39. If I don't have
a real impressive
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40. invention by this afternoon,
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41. they'll cut my funding,
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42. and I'll have to leave
Bikini Bottom.
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43. Oh, come on, Sandy.
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44. I'll bet you invented
lots of useful things.
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45. This helmet looks impressive.
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46. What's it do?
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47. It lets you talk to nuts.
What use is that?
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48. SpongeBob to Peanut.
Come in, Peanut.
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49. What's it saying?
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50. It says...
"It's dark in here."
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51. Got anything else, Sandy?
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52. There's my
nuttachino machine.
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53. It makes a nice hot, frothy
cup of any nut you choose.
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54. And lastly, my fully
automated nutcracker.
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55. Oh! I can't even make
a simple nutcracker.
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56. So, it's got a few bugs.
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57. Patrick and I'll
help you fix it.
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58. Right, Patrick?
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59. Patrick?
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60. Everything'll be fine.
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61. Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob.
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62. I just have to face facts.
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63. I'll be leaving
Bikini Bottom because...
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64. I'm a failure.
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65. We can't let
Sandy leave, Patrick.
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66. What'll we do?
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67. They're looking
for an invention, right?
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68. Right.
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69. So let's start inventing!
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70. Yeah!
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71. It's time to get
serious, Patrick.
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72. Right!
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73. I made an invention!
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74. It's a stick that you
can draw or write stuff with.
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75. That's a pencil, Patrick.
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76. It's already been invented.
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77. Ooh! Ooh!
This is a good one.
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78. It's a glass ball
that lights up,
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79. so you can
see in the dark.
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80. Light bulb,
already invented.
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81. SpongeBob.
I know this one will work.
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82. I've invented
a parallel universe.
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83. That's a mirror, Patrick.
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84. It's already been invented.
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85. Somebody keeps
stealing my ideas.
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86. Well, I thought it
was a pretty good idea.
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87. Ohh... I give up.
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88. I'll never invent anything.
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89. I'm ashamed of
myself, Patrick.
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90. I gave up too quickly.
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91. We'll build Sandy's bosses
an invention so amazing,
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92. they'll give Sandy
funding forever.
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93. We've done it, Patrick!
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94. We created
the greatest invention
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95. the world has ever seen!
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96. Patrick, they're here!
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97. Who?
Sandy's bosses.
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98. The reason we spent
all afternoon inventing.
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99. I have no idea
what you're talking about.
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100. Good day, gentlemen.
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101. Allow me
to introduce ourselves.
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102. I am Professor Percy.
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103. This is Dr. Marmalade.
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104. At your service.
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105. And this is
Lord Reginald.
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106. Charmed.
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107. You guys talk funny.
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108. Say more words!
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109. We are the board
of directors
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110. of Tree Dome
Enterprises Limited,
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111. and we are here
to ascertain
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112. if Miss Cheek's inventions
are up to snuff.
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113. Why, everyone in town
has benefited
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114. from Sandy's scientific
knowledge.
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115. Before Sandy showed up,
I used to be a scrawny weakling.
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116. And I used to be dumb.
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117. Quite.
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118. And whom do I have
the pleasure of addressing?
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119. My name is SpongeBob.
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120. And I am
Professor Patrick.
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121. Professor?
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122. Doctor Professor Patrick.
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123. Don't mind him.
You know how interns are.
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124. Where is Miss Cheeks?
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125. She should be back
any moment.
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126. I thought she ran away
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127. because she couldn't
invent anything.
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128. Patrick.
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129. That's Mr. Doctor Professor
Patrick to you!
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130. Don't you think it's time
to show them Sandy's invention,
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131. Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick?
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132. Good idea.
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133. Well?
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134. Hey, you'rethe unpaid intern.
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135. You do the work.
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136. Gentlemen, I can say
without exaggeration,
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137. that this is the most
important invention
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138. in the history
of the universe.
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139. I give you...
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140. the Automatic
Back Scratcher,
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141. Hair Comber, Nose Picker
and Ukulele Tuner 9000!
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142. This is where our
research money went?
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143. Uh-huh. Isn't it great?
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144. An automatic
back-scratcher, hair-combing
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145. nose-picking
ukulele tuner.
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146. Yes, well, I've heard
thatclaim before.
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147. Yes. How do we know
this contraption works?
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148. Let's see a demonstration.
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149. Step right up.
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150. You look like you've
been neglecting
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151. your personal hygiene.
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152. Me?
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153. Are you sure this is safe?
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154. As sure as I'm
a doctor professor.
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155. Patrick, don't you think
we should test it?
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156. Okay.
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157. That's not exactly
what I had in mind.
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158. Lord Reginald,
are you all right?
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159. Oh, I say.
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160. This is splendid.
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161. Oh, absolutely splendid.
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162. What's this? Oh, marvelous.
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163. This machine has evacuated
my nostrils
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164. of unwanted residue
in a manner most pleasant.
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165. Good work, Mr. Doctor
Professor Patrick.
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166. Thank you, lowly assistant.
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167. Oh, I say, now it's feeding me
delicious pudding.
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168. Pudding, I don't remember
that part of the invention.
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169. And now it's tuning
my ukulele.
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170. Ouch! Ooh!
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171. I say, was that necessary?
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172. You, sir, are impertinent.
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173. Oh, dear.
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174. Lord Reginald,
are you all right?
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175. I'm sorry, was that a yes?
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176. Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick,
what is the meaning of this?
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177. It's okay.
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178. The horrible
screaming
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179. means that
it's working.
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180. Oh, I really wish
Sandy were here.
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181. All aboard!
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182. Will this bus
take you somewhere
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183. when you've got
nowhere else to go?
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184. It sure does.
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185. We make stops in Quittersville,
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186. Failuretown and Loserburg.
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187. What in tarnation?
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188. What's with all
the monkey business?
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189. Sandy!
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190. SpongeBob.
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191. What the heck
is going on here?
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192. Ouch.
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193. It works! It works!
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194. Lord Reginald,
are you all right?
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195. I seem to have ruptured
my pomposity.
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196. We shall commence
closure of this establishment
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197. immediately.
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198. Frankly, I'm beginning
to question
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199. the economic benefits
of underwater tree domes.
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200. Doesn't make much sense
when you get right down to it.
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201. I'm sorry, Sandy.
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202. We were trying to keep you
in Bikini Bottom,
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203. but all we did was ruin
your chances to stay.
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204. I was about to be fired anyway.
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205. Thanks for trying
to help, SpongeBob.
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206. You, too, Patrick.
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207. That's Mr. Doctor
Professor Patrick.
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208. Don't push it.
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209. Sorry.
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210. We are departing,
Dr. Marmalade.
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211. My word.
All of this excitement
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212. has drastically reduced
my potassium levels.
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213. Good gracious.
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214. Can it be?
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215. Try it again.
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216. Oh! It is!
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217. It is!
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218. It's the banana peeler
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219. we have been searching
117 years for.
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220. Wow, Sandy, they're going
bananas for your nutcracker.
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221. Yeah.
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222. Well, Miss Cheeks,
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223. I must say,
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224. you have exceeded expectations.
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225. It may be the extreme
head trauma I've suffered,
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226. but I am going to offer you
a 20-year contract
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227. with a substantial pay rise.
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228. I accept.
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229. Hooray!
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230. I expect great things
out of you, Miss Cheeks.
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231. Great things.
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232. Perhaps you could
put your talents
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233. toward that automatic
poop-throwing machine
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234. that's eluded us
for so long.
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235. Now, now.
One miracle at a time.
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236. Good-bye.
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237. Well, the only thing left
is to figure out what to do
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238. with this
infernal contraption.
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239. My turn!
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240. Whoo-hoo!
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241. All right!
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242. Curse this cursed, ghostly fog.
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243. I can barely see
past me own nose.
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244. Argh.
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245. Me ship.
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246. Hello, roadside assistance?
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247. I've got a bit of a flat!
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248. My location
where I'll be staying?
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249. Business or residence?
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250. Residence.
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251. Argh!
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252. The Flying Dutchman!
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253. What are you doing in my house?
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254. I'm stuck here while me ship
is being repaired.
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255. Till then, I'm here to haunt ya!
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256. Squidward! Squidward!
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257. Squidward, help!
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258. Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ooh!
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259. Ow! Oh! Ee! Ee! Ow! Oh!
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260. Squidward, you
have to help me!
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261. There's a gh-gh-gh,
a ghost in my house!
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262. SpongeBob, how many times
do I have to tell you
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263. I don't believe in ghosts,
and I never liked you?
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264. Patrick!
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265. Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
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266. Patrick, you've
got to help me!
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267. The Flying Dutch... man.
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268. Gary!
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269. Don't you dare
hurt my little Gary!
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270. Aw, I just wanted
to pet the little guy.
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271. There, there, Dutchie's
not gonna hurt you.
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272. I love me
a good snail.
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273. Gary!
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274. Nothing better than
giving a good scare!
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275. Argh!
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276. It's okay, Gary.
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277. Don't get too
comfortable!
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278. Good night, Gary.
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279. Hmm?
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280. Hmm?
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281. Um, Dutchie, is this
gonna be much longer?
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282. Why aren't you
freaking out, lad?
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283. Well, you've been here a while,
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284. and, uh, I've seen
all your tricks.
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285. What are you trying to say?
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286. Eh.
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287. I know when I'm washed up.
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288. I've been doing
the same material for years.
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289. Scaring is a young man's game.
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290. It's time to give up the ghost.
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291. No pun intended.
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292. Oh, no, no.
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293. I meant that I'm just
used to it, that's all.
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294. Don't lie to me.
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295. You've just got to scare
someone other than me.
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296. Hmm...
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297. Mind if I test it out?
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298. Yeah, this does
feel comfortable.
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299. Could you excuse
me a moment?
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300. Grr!
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301. Rah! Rah!
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302. Boo! Rah!
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303. Ah, forget it.
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304. So, what do you think?
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305. It's official.
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306. I'm not scary anymore.
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307. Just what kind
of talk is that?
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308. You're just off your game,
that's all.
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309. Maybe I just need a break.
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310. Take some time off, you know?
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311. Sure, relax a little.
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312. Maybe stay with a friend
for a while.
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313. On a comfy couch in a pineapple.
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314. Just for a little while longer?
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315. Till I get back on me feet?
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316. Hey, champ, how's it...
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317. Turn it up!
Turn the knob up!
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318. Whoo!
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319. Who'd guess we have
so much in common?
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320. You like teddy bears;
I like teddy bears.
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321. You like ponies;
I like ponies.
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322. Is that a wedding ring?
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323. Oh, this?
Oh, it's nothing.
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324. What is going on around here?
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325. Come on, SpongeBob,
don't be a stick in the mud.
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326. Look out below!
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327. How was that?
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328. Even better the third time.
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329. Oh, no.
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330. No, no, no, no, no!
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331. Everyone, get out!
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332. All righty, boys,
party's over.
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333. Time to scoot honey.
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334. Dutchie, do you want to spend
eternity on this couch?
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335. Well, it is comfy.
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336. Look in the mirror.
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337. You're a ghost
of your former self.
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338. Ah, you're right,
SpongeBob.
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339. I'm pathetic.
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340. Yes, you are.
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341. But we're going to raise you up
from your squalid condition
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342. through the use of visual aids.
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343. Watch now.
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344. What in barnacles is it?
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345. A journey into self-awareness.
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346. The power within.
The power within.
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347. The power within.
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348. The power within.
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349. The power within.
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350. The power within.
The power within.
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351. The power within.
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352. The power within.
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353. The power within.
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354. The power within!
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355. Yeah!
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356. That was beautiful.
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357. Now get off of that couch
and into your clothes, Dutchman.
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358. It's time to get serious.
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359. Let's start you off easy.
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360. You think you can take
that old lady down there?
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361. What, are you kidding me?
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362. Scaring her is too easy.
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363. Now that's
the Flying Dutchman I know.
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364. Let's see you put
those words into action.
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365. No problemo, compadre.
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366. Yargh!
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367. Lonnie, is that you?
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368. What? No!
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369. 'Tis I, the ominous
Flying Dutchman!
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370. Lonnie, there's this great
new product called toothpaste.
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371. I think you
should try it.
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372. Let's hit it!
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373. Dude, look at your pecs.
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374. You're phenomenal.
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375. Truly a hard body.
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376. Look at those guns.
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377. Now he's got him.
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378. My latissimus dorsi
has gone flabby.
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379. I've got to get
to a rowing machine.
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380. Ah.
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381. It's no use, SpongeBob.
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382. I can't seem to scare anyone.
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383. Maybe people just don't believe
in ghosts anymore.
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384. Wait a minute!
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385. I think you just gave me
the answer to all your problems.
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386. goblins...
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387. guilt trip...
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388. Huh?
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389. Squidward!
Squidward!
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390. What's going on?
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391. Why haven't
you called me?
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392. Mother?
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393. Why haven't you
called your mother?
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394. Uh, Squiddums loves his mama.
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395. Why don't you
call me then?
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396. Why don't you call me?
Why don't you call me?
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397. I heard you don't
believe in ghosts!
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398. Ghosts?
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399. As in the
Flying Dutchman!
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400. There's no such thing as ghosts.
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401. No such things.
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402. No such thing
as ghosts?
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403. No such thing as ghosts?
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404. You don't believe
in ghosts?
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405. SpongeBob?
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406. Ooh.
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407. Scary.
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408. No!
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409. No!
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410. That's impossible!
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411. Ghosts! Ghosts!
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412. Dutchie, it worked!
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413. You got your scare back.
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414. And me confidence, too.
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415. Now I feel like I could scare
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416. the living criminy
out of anybody!
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417. All thanks to you, my boy.
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418. And maybe your ship
will be repaired soon.
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419. Actually, I have a
confession, SpongeBob.
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420. My ship's been done
for three months now.
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421. Well, it was nice
rooming with ya.
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422. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
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423. I left you a little something
something for all your trouble.
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424. Now it's high time
for me to ruin more souls.
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425. Good ol' Dutchie.
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