1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Ah, observe the majesty
of the mighty iceberg.Copy !req
8. This frozen giant,Copy !req
9. normally found
floating in polar regions,Copy !req
10. can sometimes stray
into warmer waters,Copy !req
11. causing dramatic changes
in climateCopy !req
12. for tropical undersea life.Copy !req
13. Yes, it seems Old Man Winter
paid us a visit late last night,Copy !req
14. and he brought with him
not a pillow or a sheetCopy !req
15. but a blanket...
a blanket of snow!Copy !req
16. Yes, from Jellyfish Fields...Copy !req
17. to residential abodes...Copy !req
18. to bustling downtown...Copy !req
19. it's nothing
but the white stuff.Copy !req
20. Whoopee!Copy !req
21. And local residents
are taking notice.Copy !req
22. Hmm...Copy !req
23. Hey!Copy !req
24. What's this?Copy !req
25. Drops of rain
frozen into ice crystals?Copy !req
26. I shall harness their energy
and rule the world!Copy !req
27. Aah... oh! Stop!Copy !req
28. I wish to rule you!Copy !req
29. Snow angel!Copy !req
30. Oh...Copy !req
31. Hey!Copy !req
32. Thanks a lot, SpongeBob!Copy !req
33. While you were just
standing there whistling,Copy !req
34. someone threw a snowball at me!Copy !req
35. Oh, really, Patrick?Copy !req
36. Did the snowball
look like this?Copy !req
37. Yeah.Copy !req
38. This is serious,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
39. Someone's after me.Copy !req
40. I think I better
leave town.Copy !req
41. Patrick, I threw it.Copy !req
42. We're having
a snowball fight.Copy !req
43. Don't you get it?Copy !req
44. Snowball fight?Copy !req
45. I want to play!
I want to play!Copy !req
46. Well, first,
you have to make a snowball.Copy !req
47. Oh, yeah! A snowball.Copy !req
48. Ooh, this is going to be great!Copy !req
49. Huh?Copy !req
50. Wha...?Copy !req
51. Aw...!Copy !req
52. SpongeBob?Copy !req
53. Can you help me
make a snowball?Copy !req
54. Sure, pal.Copy !req
55. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
56. Patrick!Copy !req
57. How could you?Copy !req
58. It's a snowball fight, remember?Copy !req
59. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
60. Ah, yes...Copy !req
61. Warm fire, cozy slippers,Copy !req
62. and a piping hot cup of tea
with a lemon wedge.Copy !req
63. Aah!Copy !req
64. Why do I even bother?Copy !req
65. Would you twoCopy !req
66. please keep it down?Copy !req
67. Squidward! You're just in time
to enlist in my army!Copy !req
68. Join me and together
we'll defeat the Pink Menace!Copy !req
69. That's me!Copy !req
70. You start off as a buck private,Copy !req
71. but with hard work, perhaps
you can rise through the ranksCopy !req
72. and become a regular private!Copy !req
73. Thanks, but no, thanks,
Major Stupidity.Copy !req
74. You and General Nonsense
over there will have
to fight without me.Copy !req
75. Got 'em both.Copy !req
76. Patrick, you fool!Copy !req
77. This was over
before it started!Copy !req
78. I will now consider your
unconditional surren...Copy !req
79. der.Copy !req
80. So, that's how he wants it
to go down.Copy !req
81. Ooh.Copy !req
82. Ha! You missed me!Copy !req
83. Ooh.Copy !req
84. Score one for the boys
back home!Copy !req
85. Yes? Oh, Patrick.Copy !req
86. What an unpleasant
surprise.Copy !req
87. Oh, boy, nothing like
a game of charades.Copy !req
88. I was trying to tell you
that I was choking on snow,Copy !req
89. but the snow melted
and turned into waterCopy !req
90. and I drank all the water;
now I'm better.Copy !req
91. Fascinating.Copy !req
92. Now, where was I?Copy !req
93. What?Copy !req
94. Can I use
your bathroom?Copy !req
95. Patrick, go use
your own bathroom.Copy !req
96. I won't make it.
Please?Copy !req
97. No.Copy !req
98. Please?Copy !req
99. No.Copy !req
100. Please?Copy !req
101. No.Copy !req
102. Please!Copy !req
103. Make it quick.Copy !req
104. That's okay.Copy !req
105. Aha!Copy !req
106. Aiding the enemy!Copy !req
107. I caught you
Squidward!Copy !req
108. Look, SpongeBob,
I was just...Copy !req
109. SpongeBob! Oh!Copy !req
110. Yay! Squidward's
on my side!Copy !req
111. I most certainly
am not!Copy !req
112. Then that means he's on my side!Copy !req
113. No, SpongeBob, I'm not
on your side either!Copy !req
114. I'm on nobody's side.Copy !req
115. Snowball fights are
for immature children,Copy !req
116. and I will not stoop
to your level.Copy !req
117. If you two want to knock
each other's brains out
with snowballs,Copy !req
118. kindly leave me out of it.Copy !req
119. SpongeBob, let's go knock
each other's brains out!Copy !req
120. I'm ready!Copy !req
121. Hmm.Copy !req
122. Okay, Patrick, it's out.Copy !req
123. Now, there's something
I'd actually like to see.Copy !req
124. Nothing wrong with getting
a front-row seat, I suppose.Copy !req
125. Ah.Copy !req
126. What's this?Copy !req
127. Wha... I... No!Copy !req
128. What are you doing?Copy !req
129. You're supposed to be knocking
each other's brains out!Copy !req
130. We signed a peace treaty,
Squidward.Copy !req
131. You were right—
fighting is for children.Copy !req
132. No, no, I misled you,
it's for adults, too.Copy !req
133. Give me
that peace treaty!Copy !req
134. There! Let the war
continue.Copy !req
135. Squidward,
that wasn't
the peace treaty.Copy !req
136. That was a copy
of the peace treaty.Copy !req
137. Look, you two are
giving up too easily.Copy !req
138. Now, Patrick,
pretend I'm SpongeBob.Copy !req
139. And who am I?Copy !req
140. You're Patrick.Copy !req
141. Can I be Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
142. No! Wait, why?Copy !req
143. He's a good leader.Copy !req
144. Would you butt out?Copy !req
145. Hey, you can't talk
to Mr. KrabsCopy !req
146. like that, Squidward!Copy !req
147. I'm SpongeBob! You're Patrick!Copy !req
148. Now, what are you
going to do?Copy !req
149. Patrick, why didn't
you hit SpongeBob?Copy !req
150. You said
you were SpongeBob.Copy !req
151. [ imitating Mr.
It's true!Copy !req
152. Now, get back to work!Copy !req
153. Oh, boy. All right,
I can see where
this is going.Copy !req
154. Let's just say
for all intents and purposesCopy !req
155. that I, Squidward, am now
part of this war. Now...Copy !req
156. Where's your fort?Copy !req
157. I don't have one, okay? Now...Copy !req
158. You need a fort,
Squidward.Copy !req
159. Forts win wars,
Squidward.Copy !req
160. Okay, fine!
You want a fort?Copy !req
161. There, there's
your fort! Now...Copy !req
162. That fort's too small.Copy !req
163. It's okay, Patrick.Copy !req
164. It's just a demonstration.
Now...Copy !req
165. He's right, Squidward.Copy !req
166. That thing would
never protect you.Copy !req
167. It's downright puny.Copy !req
168. Trust me, it's fine!Copy !req
169. See? It is too small.Copy !req
170. Not if I crouch down!Copy !req
171. You didn't let me
crouch down!Copy !req
172. See? Down here,
I am perfectly...Copy !req
173. Exposed.Copy !req
174. Would you two
please...Copy !req
175. stop throwing...Copy !req
176. snowballs?Copy !req
177. Squidward returned fire!Copy !req
178. Then it's war!Copy !req
179. No, no, wait, wait.Copy !req
180. I was just giving
a demonstration!Copy !req
181. All right, that's it!Copy !req
182. You guys asked for it!Copy !req
183. I got him! Ha! I got him.Copy !req
184. In your face, SpongeBob!Copy !req
185. That was actually
kind of... exciting!Copy !req
186. Why, I've never felt so alive!Copy !req
187. He got you good,
SpongeBob!Copy !req
188. Ooh!Copy !req
189. Take cover!Copy !req
190. Take that! I got you!Copy !req
191. Yeah, oh, I got you!Copy !req
192. Oh, take that!Copy !req
193. Whoa, I got you that time!Copy !req
194. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
195. Incoming!Copy !req
196. Hey, SpongeBob.Copy !req
197. Yes, Patrick?Copy !req
198. I think Squidward's
taking this really seriously.Copy !req
199. That last one had
his clarinet in it!Copy !req
200. Hmm, looks like
it's time for Plan B.Copy !req
201. What's going on?Copy !req
202. The snowballs
have stopped falling.Copy !req
203. I better take advantage
of this momentary cease-fire.Copy !req
204. What? My left flank is exposed!Copy !req
205. That bloated starfish is
going to run right through me!Copy !req
206. I'll just fix that right now.Copy !req
207. Wait, that makes my north wall
a weak spot. Ha!Copy !req
208. Here we go. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.Copy !req
209. Oh, oh, oh!Copy !req
210. But if they attack
from the rear, I'm a goner.Copy !req
211. There. Ha-ha!Copy !req
212. But what about the possibility
of an aerial attack?Copy !req
213. I guess that ought to do it.Copy !req
214. Fort Squidward is now
all but impenetrable!Copy !req
215. Now, where are those fools?Copy !req
216. Ha! The first shot
has been fired!Copy !req
217. Take this, Patrick!Copy !req
218. Taste my frozen fury!Copy !req
219. Victory is mine!Copy !req
220. Whee!Copy !req
221. I got you now!Copy !req
222. Did you hear something, Patrick?Copy !req
223. Nope.Copy !req
224. Ah, a yard sale.Copy !req
225. You know the old saying:Copy !req
226. "One man's trash is
another man's treasure."Copy !req
227. Disposable?Copy !req
228. Phooey.Copy !req
229. For Mr. Krabs,
all trash is treasure.Copy !req
230. Open for business.Copy !req
231. See anything you like?Copy !req
232. Give you $1.50
for this umbrella.Copy !req
233. $1.50 for that?Copy !req
234. But it's an antique!Copy !req
235. It belonged
to a queen.Copy !req
236. Ten bucks.Copy !req
237. Ten bucks?Copy !req
238. It's full of holes!Copy !req
239. It was the queen of Switzerland.Copy !req
240. A queen, you say? That's...Copy !req
241. Wait a second,
they don't have a queen.Copy !req
242. Okay,
Mr. Bargain Hunter.Copy !req
243. Five bucks.Copy !req
244. Deal!Copy !req
245. Ah, the sweet smell
of an all-day sucker.Copy !req
246. They taste
even better.Copy !req
247. Hi, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
248. What you doing?Copy !req
249. I'm having
an antique sale.Copy !req
250. Have a look around.Copy !req
251. Hey, Patrick,
look at this thing.Copy !req
252. Pretty cool, huh?Copy !req
253. That looks like
the toilet plunger
I threw out yesterday.Copy !req
254. That ain't
no toilet plunger.Copy !req
255. This here's an antique!Copy !req
256. It, uh... um... uh...
a 17th-century soup ladle, see?Copy !req
257. Man, was I using mine wrong.Copy !req
258. How much?Copy !req
259. Five bucks.Copy !req
260. I've only got seven.Copy !req
261. Deal!Copy !req
262. Patrick Star,
you are one smart shopper.Copy !req
263. Wow! Look at this neat-o
soda-drinking hat.Copy !req
264. Oh! It must've belonged to
someone who was number one.Copy !req
265. There's only been
a handful of number onesCopy !req
266. in the entire history
of forever.Copy !req
267. That's right, SpongeBob,
and you're one of 'em.Copy !req
268. Really?Copy !req
269. This hat says
"Hey, I'm number oneCopy !req
270. and I let gravity
do my drinking."Copy !req
271. This hat was made
for you, boy.Copy !req
272. You were born
to wear this hat!Copy !req
273. Eee... ooh...!Copy !req
274. A perfect fit,
eh, son?Copy !req
275. Oh, thank you,
Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
276. Thank you for
bringing us together!Copy !req
277. How can I ever repay you?Copy !req
278. With ten dollars.Copy !req
279. All I have is five.Copy !req
280. Well, I guess
it's no deal.Copy !req
281. I'll be right back.Copy !req
282. Ah!Copy !req
283. Mr. Krabs,
I found 68 cents.Copy !req
284. But maybe you could
take the other $4.32Copy !req
285. out of my paycheck.Copy !req
286. What do you say?Copy !req
287. Well... I don't know...Copy !req
288. Uh... okay!Copy !req
289. But only 'cause you look
so dashing in that hat.Copy !req
290. Thanks, Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
291. Don't mention it, boys!Copy !req
292. What a couple of rubes.Copy !req
293. Excuse me, sir,
but are youCopy !req
294. the purveyor
of this curio stand?Copy !req
295. Yes, I am.Copy !req
296. I understand
you're sellingCopy !req
297. this rare novelty drink hat.Copy !req
298. Fresh out.Copy !req
299. Let me explain.Copy !req
300. I'm prepared to give you
$500 for that drink hat.Copy !req
301. Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi...Copy !req
302. Not so fast.Copy !req
303. I'll give you $1,000
for such a hat.Copy !req
304. I'll give youCopy !req
305. $100,000 in cash
for said hat.Copy !req
306. Sir, I'll give you
a million dollars for that hat!Copy !req
307. SpongeBob!Copy !req
308. There he is
with me million-dollar hat.Copy !req
309. I got to get it backCopy !req
310. before he finds out
how much it's worth.Copy !req
311. Ah! My bubble production
has increased twofold.Copy !req
312. Thanks to you, Hatty.Copy !req
313. SpongeBob!Copy !req
314. Mr. K! How's the antique biz
treating you?Copy !req
315. Never mind that.
Listen...Copy !req
316. I didn't want to say this
in front of Patrick.Copy !req
317. That hat makes you look
like a girl.Copy !req
318. Am I a pretty girl?Copy !req
319. Oh, well, um...Copy !req
320. You're...
you're beautiful.Copy !req
321. Uh... heh-heh.Copy !req
322. All right, now give
me the hat back.Copy !req
323. But, Mr. Krabs,
you said it yourself...Copy !req
324. I was born
to wear this hat.Copy !req
325. I don't want
to give it back.Copy !req
326. I can't part
with this hat now.Copy !req
327. Not after all
we've been through.Copy !req
328. Thanks, Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
329. I'll call you Hatty.Copy !req
330. And that's
when you showed up.Copy !req
331. Aw, forget it!Copy !req
332. And you're not
beautiful either.Copy !req
333. I'm not?Copy !req
334. SpongeBob, just the man
I wanted to see.Copy !req
335. Still playing with
that dumb old hat, eh?Copy !req
336. Yep.Copy !req
337. Not sick of that
boring old hat yet?Copy !req
338. Nope.Copy !req
339. Not tiredCopy !req
340. of that old piece of junk?Copy !req
341. Uh-uh.Copy !req
342. Not even a teensy, tiny bit?Copy !req
343. Nope.Copy !req
344. Then I guessCopy !req
345. you don't want to see
what's in my bag.Copy !req
346. What is it?Copy !req
347. Novelty hats.Copy !req
348. How about this
air-conditioned one?Copy !req
349. Seems a little dangerous.Copy !req
350. The Juicer?Copy !req
351. Ooh...Copy !req
352. Foxy Grandpa?Copy !req
353. So, what do you say?Copy !req
354. Your silly hat
for all these hats.Copy !req
355. No deal, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
356. I'm sticking
with Hatty.Copy !req
357. Thanks for the offer,
though.Copy !req
358. I thought the Foxy Grandpa
would get him for sure.Copy !req
359. I didn't want to have
to do thisCopy !req
360. but he leaves me
no other option.Copy !req
361. I'm going to have to
scare it off of him.Copy !req
362. This'll scare him.Copy !req
363. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
364. A floating shopping list!Copy !req
365. I'm not a shopping list...Copy !req
366. I'm a ghost...!Copy !req
367. Now, listen, SpongeBob.Copy !req
368. How do you know my name?Copy !req
369. Who are you?Copy !req
370. I am the Ghost
of Soda Drink Hats.Copy !req
371. And I'm here to tell youCopy !req
372. that that soda drink hat
you possess is cursed.Copy !req
373. Cursed?Copy !req
374. Yes! It once belonged
to some guy who's dead now.Copy !req
375. What guy?Copy !req
376. Uh... Smitty something.Copy !req
377. Smitty what?Copy !req
378. Uh, Smitty... Werben...Copy !req
379. Jaegerman... Jensen.Copy !req
380. He must have been number one.Copy !req
381. Number one in Bogeyland!Copy !req
382. Now, listen...Copy !req
383. a curse will descend on youCopy !req
384. unless the hat is returned
to its owner immediately.Copy !req
385. Immediately?Copy !req
386. Immediately...Copy !req
387. To its owner?Copy !req
388. Yes...Copy !req
389. Right now?Copy !req
390. Yes, yes!Copy !req
391. It must be returned
to its owner right now!Copy !req
392. Hey, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
393. Ahh! SpongeBob!Copy !req
394. Uh, uh, what are you
doing here?Copy !req
395. I was returning
the cursed soda drink hatCopy !req
396. to its original owner:
Smitty Werben Jaegerman Jensen.Copy !req
397. What? There is
no Smitty Werben
Jaegerman Jensen.Copy !req
398. Sure there is!Copy !req
399. He's buried out
in Floater's Cemetery.Copy !req
400. How did? I just...Copy !req
401. You did... I would...Copy !req
402. Give me that shovel!Copy !req
403. It was his hat Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
404. He was number one!Copy !req
405. Huh?Copy !req
406. Ahh!Copy !req
407. Hold yourself together, Krabs.Copy !req
408. It's just a boneyard...
filled with bones.Copy !req
409. Ahh!Copy !req
410. What's that?Copy !req
411. It's Squidward.Copy !req
412. What's he doing here?Copy !req
413. Ohh...Copy !req
414. "Here lie Squidward's
hopes and dreams."Copy !req
415. What a baby. Where was I?Copy !req
416. Oh, yeah! Gotta find
Smitty Whatsajipster.Copy !req
417. Nope... nope... no... no...Copy !req
418. No... uh-uh... no... no...
uh-uh... nope, not there...Copy !req
419. I've checked every headstone
in this cemeteryCopy !req
420. and there's no
Smitty Wabbablabba buried here.Copy !req
421. Think, Krabs.Copy !req
422. Maybe something SpongeBob said
will give you a clue.Copy !req
423. Remember,
licking doorknobsCopy !req
424. is illegal
on other planets.Copy !req
425. No, not that!Copy !req
426. You'll never guessCopy !req
427. what I found in
my sock last night.Copy !req
428. Go ahead, guess!Copy !req
429. No! No! No! No! No!Copy !req
430. It was his hat, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
431. He was number one!Copy !req
432. Ahh! Barnacles!Copy !req
433. I'll never find...Copy !req
434. The grave!Copy !req
435. Am I really going to defile
this grave for money?Copy !req
436. Of course I am!Copy !req
437. Jackpot!Copy !req
438. Ooh. It's beautiful.Copy !req
439. Come to Papa.Copy !req
440. Huh?Copy !req
441. Come on, Smitty, let go.Copy !req
442. Rest in pieces, Smitty.Copy !req
443. I got the million-dollar hat!Copy !req
444. Hey, man, that's my hat.Copy !req
445. Give it back.Copy !req
446. What? No way.Copy !req
447. Just crawl back
into your hole, bone boy.Copy !req
448. Go ahead, play dead.Copy !req
449. I guess I'm going to have
to take it from you.Copy !req
450. Yeah, right. You and what army?Copy !req
451. Only the army
of the living dead.Copy !req
452. Oh, no! I've seen this
on the late show.Copy !req
453. You ghoulish fiends hold me downCopy !req
454. and take turns
nibbling on my innards.Copy !req
455. Then you eat my brain and
leave my body for the buzzards.Copy !req
456. That's disgusting.Copy !req
457. We just want the hat back.Copy !req
458. No flipping way!Copy !req
459. Back up! Back up, I say!Copy !req
460. Attack.Copy !req
461. Tallyho!Copy !req
462. Look at me, I'm Errol Fin!Copy !req
463. You're falling apart,
marrow brain!Copy !req
464. You must be kidding!Copy !req
465. Back to oblivion!Copy !req
466. Hup-ho! How's your sister?Copy !req
467. All right, boneheads,
playtime's over.Copy !req
468. Yee-hoo!Copy !req
469. Wa-ha!Copy !req
470. A million dollars.Copy !req
471. I've got a million dollars!Copy !req
472. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
473. Well, I got it.Copy !req
474. The rare novelty
soda drink hat.Copy !req
475. Let's start the bidding
at $1 million.Copy !req
476. Yeah, you want that
all at once?Copy !req
477. A million
dollars!Copy !req
478. You got to be
kidding!Copy !req
479. Hey! The poor sap's
not kidding.Copy !req
480. Didn't you hear?Copy !req
481. They found a whole
warehouse full of them.Copy !req
482. They're worthless!Copy !req
483. Let's give Mr. Krabs a big hand!Copy !req
484. Now, that's worth
a million dollars!Copy !req
485. Hey, kid, wait up!Copy !req
486. I saw him first!Copy !req
487. I'll give you
$1 billion!Copy !req
488. Well, that's a spirit breaker.Copy !req
489. What a baby.Copy !req
490. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
491. and NICKELODEONCopy !req