1. Are you ready, kids?
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2. Aye, aye, Captain!
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3. I can't hear you.
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4. Aye, aye, Captain!
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5. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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6. and NICKELODEON]
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7. And there's that and here we go.
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8. Wey, wook,
it's Windward.
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9. What?
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10. Windward's wolling
to work.
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11. Where does he work?
Wat the Wusty Wab?
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12. What's that supposed to be,
some kind of stupid secret code?
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13. We can't tell you
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14. 'cause you're not
a member of the club.
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15. Oh, yeah?
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16. What does it take
to be a member
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17. besides being a moron?
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18. Moron...
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19. as a requirement.
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20. Sorry, Squidward,
but you couldn't get in
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21. even if you tried.
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22. Well, I'll have you know
that I am a member
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23. of over 20 different
exclusive clubs
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24. all across the sea bottom.
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25. What did he say?
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26. I don't know.
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27. Something about his nose.
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28. Squidward, you
and your nose will
definitely not fit in.
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29. Oh, what do you two zeros know
about fitting in?
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30. You should be
begging me to join.
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31. Stop! No, no, no!
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32. Stop. Stop, Squidward.
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33. You can't join. Can't join.
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34. You can't get in.
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35. Well, this is stupid.
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36. There's no room up here.
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37. That's what we've been
trying to tell you.
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38. We've been stuck up
here for three days.
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39. We told you
you wouldn't fit in.
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40. Well, since you're here,
Squidward
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41. we'll give you
the new member
initiation.
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42. Are you ready, Patrick?
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43. Ready.
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44. Shut your half-wit
pie holes!
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45. I do not now nor will I ever
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46. want to be a member
of your stupid club.
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47. Make a wish, honey.
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48. Woo-woo-woo! Woo-hoo!
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49. Again! Again! Again!
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50. This didn't just happen.
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51. Please, tell me
that didn't happen.
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52. What happened?
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53. Where are we? We're lost!
There's no way out.
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54. Stuck in the middle of nowhere
with Spongebob and Patrick!
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55. Oh, why must every 11 minutes
of my life
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56. be filled with misery? Why?
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57. Oh, cheer up, Squid.
It could be worse.
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58. Yeah, you could
be bald and have
a big nose.
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59. Well, this is the end.
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60. No, it's not, Squidward.
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61. It's not?
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62. Come on, guys.
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63. We're going to be fine
as long as we stick together.
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64. Remember, we're a club.
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65. And besides, we have this.
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66. What's that?
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67. Oh, the magic conch shell.
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68. Ask it something!
Ask it something!
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69. Magic conch shell,
will I ever get married?
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70. Maybe someday.
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71. You've got
to be kidding!
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72. That is just
a stupid toy.
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73. How can that possibly help us?
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74. Squidward, we must never
question the wisdom
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75. of the magic conch.
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76. The club always takes
its advice
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77. before we do anything.
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78. The shell knows all.
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79. Oh, magic conch shell
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80. what do we need to do
to get out of the kelp forest?
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81. Nothing.
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82. The shell has spoken!
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83. Nothing? We can't just sit here
and do nothing.
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84. I can't believe
you two are going
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85. to take advice
from a toy.
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86. All right, all right.
I don't need your help.
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87. I am going to find my way
back to sanity.
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88. But don't you two sad clowns
come crying to me
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89. when your circus tent
comes crashing down.
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90. Sad clown.
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91. Sad... clown.
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92. What was that?
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93. I was already here!
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94. Which way do I go?
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95. Oh, I'm lost!
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96. Oh, I'm hopelessly lost!
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97. I'll never get out of here!
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98. Huh?
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99. I'm free!
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100. Take that,
Spongebob and Patrick!
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101. Huh?
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102. Oh...
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103. There's no way out of here.
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104. How's it going over there
at Club Shell for Brains?
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105. Mm-mm-mm. I am hungry.
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106. I wonder what's on the menu
for Club Squidward tonight.
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107. Ah.
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108. Smell good, Spongebob?
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109. You haven't eaten
in days...
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110. What about you, Patrick?
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111. A big boy's
got to eat.
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112. Well, you can't have any.
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113. And do you know why,
Spongebob?
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114. Because your club president
is a shell.
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115. If you had listened to me
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116. you'd have food, shelter
and a roaring fire
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117. but instead you listened
to a talking clam
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118. that tells you nothing.
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119. 'Cause the answers
to all your problems
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120. will fall right out of the sky.
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121. Fall right out
of the sky.
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122. Dude, we're falling
right out of the sky!
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123. We got to drop
the load!
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124. Praise the magic conch!
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125. Mm, mm.
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126. Hey, Spongebob,
that sure is
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127. a lot of food
you got there.
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128. It's a gift
from the magic conch.
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129. Everything sure
looks delicious.
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130. Ooh, smoked sausages,
my favorite.
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131. Uh, hey, Spongebob
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132. you know I was just
kidding around earlier.
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133. I mean, I'm still part
of the club, right?
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134. And after all, the club
got to stick together.
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135. I mean, you know...
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136. Squidward.
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137. Yes?
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138. Once a member, always a member.
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139. To the club!
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140. Yeah.
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141. Now, if you'll excuse me.
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142. What shall I eat first
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143. the spaghetti, the turkey,
the soup, the canned meat?
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144. Why don't you ask
the magic conch, Squidward?
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145. Oh, yeah, like that'll happen.
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146. Right after I consult
the magic toenail.
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147. Squidward,
are you questioning
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148. the authority
of the magic conch?
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149. The conch is the one
who gave us this banquet.
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150. This copyrighted conch
is the cornerstone
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151. of our organization.
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152. Maybe he's not a brother.
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153. You guys have it
all wrong.
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154. I love this piece
of plastic.
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155. Hello, there.
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156. Magic conch, I was wondering
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157. should I have the spaghetti
or the turkey?
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158. Neither.
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159. Oh. Then how about the soup?
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160. I don't think so.
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161. Can I have anything to eat?
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162. No.
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163. No? What do you mean no?
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164. I'm starving here!
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165. Here, let me try.
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166. Magic conch, could Squidward
have some of this
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167. yummy, delicious,
super-terrific sandwich?
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168. No.
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169. Hmm. Could I have this
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170. yummy, delicious,
super terrific sandwich?
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171. Yes.
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172. All right!
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173. Sorry, Squidward.
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174. Give me that!
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175. Could I have something to eat?
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176. No.
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177. Could I have something to eat?
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178. No.
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179. Could I have something to eat?
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180. No.
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181. Can't you say anything else
but no?
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182. Try asking again.
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183. Can I have something to eat?
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184. No.
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185. Squidward, are you all right?
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186. Maybe we should ask
the shell if he's okay.
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187. Hello, anyone there?
Hello? Hello?
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188. Do you folks need some help?
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189. I'm saved!
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190. You don't know how happy
I am to see you.
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191. I've been stranded
out here for weeks
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192. with these two
barnacle-heads
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193. and their magic
conch shell.
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194. Magic conch shell?
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195. You mean like this?
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196. Magic conch! A club member!
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197. My conch told me
to come save you guys.
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198. Hooray for the magic conches!
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199. All right, magic conch,
what do we do now?
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200. Nothing.
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201. All hail the magic conch!
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202. All hail the magic conch!
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203. Ah... springtime
in Bikini Bottom.
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204. All sea creatures
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205. have an innate sense
of the seasonal changes.
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206. Like the starfish.
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207. A quick survey
of his environment
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208. and he knows that...
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209. It's spring!
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210. The starfish then sheds
his winter coat
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211. and stores it away
safe for winter.
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212. I better call the doctor
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213. 'cause I've got spring fever!
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214. Good morning, little flowers.
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215. Good morning, Squidward.
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216. Isn't it a lovely day?
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217. Huh.
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218. Did you say hello
to the flowers yet?
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219. Good morning, flowers.
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220. Gosh, I didn't know Squidward
had hay fever.
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221. I'll do him a kindness
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222. and planet
some hypoallergenic flowers.
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223. You're on your way.
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224. I bet you're thirsty.
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225. I'm not taking my eyes off you.
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226. Hey, Spongebob.
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227. Hi, Patrick.
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228. How does this keep happening?
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229. Hi.
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230. She's beautiful.
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231. Wow...
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232. What a magnificent sea horse.
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233. I shall tame her.
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234. Who knows
what we can accomplish!
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235. "Because of her
mysterious behavior
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236. I have decided
to name her Mystery."
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237. Hmm, now that I think about it
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238. she's also very graceful
and majestic.
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239. Perhaps I should name her
Grace or Majesty
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240. or Debbie.
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241. She must have spotted
my floral bookmark.
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242. She's coming this way.
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243. That's a girl.
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244. Don't be afraid.
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245. I'm just a talking sponge
is all.
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246. Gosh, Mystery
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247. that was the greatest day
of my life.
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248. Do you think
we'll be friends forever?
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249. I'll take that as a "yes."
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250. What the...?
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251. Hey, Squidward, still riding
to work on the machine I see.
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252. Don't say anything, Squidward.
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253. Remember your karma.
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254. Whoa, girl.
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255. Now, you wait out here
until I'm done with work.
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256. See you at the
end of my shift.
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257. Hey, look, Mr. Krabs
put in a kiddy ride.
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258. Why don't you
try it out?
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259. I can't find
the coin slot.
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260. Here it is.
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261. Yee-ah! Help!
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262. Kiddie ride
on the loose!
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263. What's with all the ruckus?
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264. A monster...
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265. scaring away
me customers.
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266. That's not a monster,
Mr. Krabs.
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267. It's a horse.
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268. She's my friend.
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269. Her name is Mystery.
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270. You're a mystery,
Spongebob.
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271. Get rid of it.
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272. Huh? Please,
Mr. Krabs,
let her stay.
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273. She won't hurt
nobody no how.
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274. It's either you or Mystery.
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275. I knew I should have named her
Debbie.
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276. Spongebob, thanks
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277. for finally
getting rid of that horse.
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278. You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.
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279. Now if we could just get rid
of Squidward.
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280. Good one, sir.
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281. Ha! It worked, girl.
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282. I'll just keep
you back here
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283. until Patrick finishes
that stable
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284. I asked him to build.
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285. Only eight more hours.
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286. No, Mystery.
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287. You can't
come out yet.
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288. If old man
Krabs sees you
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289. I'll lose my job.
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290. Wait a sec.
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291. I'll bet you're hungry.
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292. How about some lunch?
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293. Shh, girl, you got
to be quiet, or...
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294. Spongebob, what was that?
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295. Is that horse in here?
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296. No, Mr. Krabs.
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297. I was just doing my imitation
of Mystery.
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298. Well, keep working on it.
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299. That was terrible.
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300. That was close.
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301. And from now on
no more high jinks.
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302. Order up!
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303. Spongebob, where's my order?
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304. Did you look under the tray?
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305. Oh, no I didn't. Sorry.
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306. Spongebob, could you just
get my order?
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307. They vanished.
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308. Squidward, do you think
the Krusty Krab is haunted?
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309. What if they come for me next?
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310. I got to get
out of here!
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311. Spongebob...
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312. there's no ghosts.
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313. Oh.
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314. In case you've forgotten
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315. here's how things work.
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316. I order the food.
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317. You cook the food.
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318. Then the customer
gets the food.
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319. We do that
for 40 years
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320. and then we die.
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321. Sounds like a pretty
good deal to me.
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322. What do you say?
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323. Yeah, I hear you,
Squidward.
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324. I'll be right back.
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325. What's that?
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326. Don't tell Mr. Krabs.
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327. I've got it all under control.
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328. Now then, you were saying?
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329. Just get my order.
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330. You got it, Squidward.
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331. Ghosts.
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332. Mystery, you ate my hat.
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333. Mystery,
you ate my spatula!
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334. You ate all the Krabby patties.
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335. You ate the stove!
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336. You ate old man Jankins.
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337. I don't want to be a burden.
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338. Folks, we have a minor situation
going on in the kitchen.
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339. Where's our food?
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340. I'm so hungry.
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341. This is my
only lunch hour.
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342. Where's
old man Jankins?
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343. Take it easy.
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344. The food's no good here anyway.
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345. Squidward,
what's going on in here?
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346. Why don't you go
ask Cowbob Ranch Pans
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347. and his faithful
companion Sir
Eats-a-lot.
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348. Spongebob, what's the meaning
of all these nicknames?
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349. David H. Jones!
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350. Mystery got a bellyache
from eating Krabby patties
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351. so I made her a
bicarbonate of soda.
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352. What did I miss?
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353. So, my eyes arecorrect!
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354. You still have that horse after
I ordered you to get rid of it!
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355. Well, now, I'm going to get rid
of it once and for all.
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356. No, Mr. Krabs, please don't
make me give up Mystery!
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357. I know you think
she's just a horse
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358. but she's more than that,
I tell you.
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359. She listens to me.
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360. She understands everything
I say and I understand her.
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361. She's my best friend.
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362. Hey, who left this bowl
of onions here?
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363. Spongebob, your story
has touched me heart.
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364. Believe it or not,
I know what's it like
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365. to give up a best friend.
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366. You do?
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367. I was five years old
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368. and me father gave me a dollar.
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369. I loved that dollar.
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370. Loved it like a brother.
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371. Me and that dollar
went everywhere together.
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372. What happened to the dollar,
Mr. Krabs?
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373. And one day at the beach
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374. it was so hot
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375. and I was so thirsty.
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376. I spent it on a soda.
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377. My best friend.
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378. Would you get out of here?
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379. The point is, son
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380. sometimes you have
to set things free
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381. even though it's hard.
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382. Look at her.
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383. She misses
the great outdoors.
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384. The wide open spaces
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385. the rolling
green pastures.
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386. The kitchen is no place
for a live horse.
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387. All right, Mr. Krabs,
I understand.
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388. Hey!
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389. Okay, girl,
you're free to go.
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390. I can't keep
you anymore.
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391. I know it's hard for
you to understand
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392. but Mr. Krabs is right.
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393. You belong in the wild.
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394. Well, what are
you waiting for?
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395. Can't you see I don't
want you anymore?
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396. Just get out of here,
you stupid, dumb animal!
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397. Well, she's gone
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398. and I'll never see her again.
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399. It's okay, son.
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400. You did the proper thing.
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401. She's free now
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402. and we have no
right to separate
that wild animal
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403. from its natural habitat.
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404. Hey, Mr. Krabs.
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405. Looks like ol' Mystery
had an after-dinner salad.
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406. Get that horse!
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407. Mystery...
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408. Come back!
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409. Mystery...
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410. Mystery, come back here!
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411. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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412. and NICKELODEON]
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