1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Oh, no, I lost my pen.Copy !req
8. You can borrow mine.Copy !req
9. Thanks.Copy !req
10. I lost something once.Copy !req
11. I lost something
I couldn't live without—Copy !req
12. my identity.Copy !req
13. So anyway, thanks
for the pen.Copy !req
14. No problem, hon.Copy !req
15. It all started last week—
Monday morning to be exact—Copy !req
16. the day I lost
my identity.Copy !req
17. I got to go.Copy !req
18. Good morning, world,
and all who inhabit it.Copy !req
19. Awk! Gary, help! I can't see.Copy !req
20. Gary!Copy !req
21. Gary, are you there?Copy !req
22. Gary? Gary, buddy?Copy !req
23. I need you to be my eyes, okay?Copy !req
24. Am I near the bathroom?Copy !req
25. Gary? Gary? Gar?Copy !req
26. Gary.Copy !req
27. Now that my horrific
incident of terror is overCopy !req
28. how 'bout some breakfast?Copy !req
29. Enjoy, buddy.Copy !req
30. Mmm. You know, I've been feeding
this to Gary for yearsCopy !req
31. and I don't even know
what it tastes like.Copy !req
32. Bleah!Copy !req
33. Bleah!Copy !req
34. Bleah!Copy !req
35. What is it, Peterson?Copy !req
36. I'm not sure.Copy !req
37. I feel... a disturbance.Copy !req
38. That was the worst thing
I've ever tasted.Copy !req
39. Oh, well, at least
I'll never have to do it again.Copy !req
40. Barnacles!Copy !req
41. All these shenanigans
made me late for work.Copy !req
42. Uh-oh.Copy !req
43. All right.Copy !req
44. Hi, SpongeBob.Copy !req
45. Hi, Patrick.Copy !req
46. Wait a minute.Copy !req
47. When exactly did you
lose your identity?Copy !req
48. Yeah, and
who's Patrick?Copy !req
49. Why did you
eat Snail-Po?Copy !req
50. Have patience,
good people.Copy !req
51. A great story
can't be rushed.Copy !req
52. However, I willskip ahead
to The Krusty Krab.Copy !req
53. Order up!Copy !req
54. One Krabby Patty, grilled
with the fiery warmthCopy !req
55. of my beating heart. Enjoy.Copy !req
56. Thanks.Copy !req
57. Uh...Copy !req
58. Oh.Copy !req
59. Is there a problem?Copy !req
60. Well, you really should
be wearing a name tagCopy !req
61. so I can thank you
properly.Copy !req
62. While it is against
my philosophyCopy !req
63. to disagree with a customerCopy !req
64. I must point out that I am,
in fact, wearing a name tag...Copy !req
65. right here.Copy !req
66. Huh?Copy !req
67. Uh... SpongeBob.Copy !req
68. Oh, Squidward,
it's terrible.Copy !req
69. It's the most terrible thing
that's ever happened to me.Copy !req
70. I lost my name tag.Copy !req
71. Pourquoi?Copy !req
72. SpongeBob,
take it easy.Copy !req
73. I'm sure you can
get a new one.Copy !req
74. But I don't want
a new one, Squidward.Copy !req
75. My name tag is
out there somewhere.Copy !req
76. Lost... Hungry...Copy !req
77. Who will help it?Copy !req
78. What if
someone's using it?Copy !req
79. All right, nobody move!Copy !req
80. This is a bank robbery!Copy !req
81. Attica!Copy !req
82. I'm innocent, I tell ya.Copy !req
83. Wow... Ooh...Copy !req
84. Squidward,
what happened?Copy !req
85. Huh? Oh, you faintedCopy !req
86. because you lost your
name tag or something.Copy !req
87. Huh?Copy !req
88. SpongeBob, will you get
ahold of yourself?Copy !req
89. Since when is losing
your name tagCopy !req
90. the end of the world?Copy !req
91. Attention,
all employees!Copy !req
92. Just a quick heads-up, boys.Copy !req
93. There's going to be
a surprise uniform inspectionCopy !req
94. in one hour.Copy !req
95. Anyone who doesn't pass,
gets the boot.Copy !req
96. This boot, to be exact.Copy !req
97. It's very stinkyCopy !req
98. and you have
to wear it all day.Copy !req
99. See you in an hour.Copy !req
100. SpongeBob, if
you really wantCopy !req
101. to find your name tag,
just retrace your steps.Copy !req
102. Retrace my steps?Copy !req
103. Squidward, you're a genius.Copy !req
104. Huh. Huh. A genius.Copy !req
105. Well, I don't know
about that, but...Copy !req
106. Cover me till
I get back, okay?Copy !req
107. Oh, sure, sure.Copy !req
108. A genius. Well,
how about... Hey!Copy !req
109. Let's see.Copy !req
110. If I'm going to retrace my stepsCopy !req
111. I got to remember
everything I did this morning.Copy !req
112. Hi, SpongeBob.Copy !req
113. Oh, hi, Patrick.Copy !req
114. You said hi to me
this morning, right?Copy !req
115. As I do every morning.Copy !req
116. Well, I need you
to do it again.Copy !req
117. That wasn't part
of the deal, Squarepants.Copy !req
118. Patrick, what are
you talking about?Copy !req
119. My hellos aren't just
some tape recordingCopy !req
120. that you can rewind
and play over and over.Copy !req
121. They're special.Copy !req
122. Patrick, this is
an emergency.Copy !req
123. I lost my name tag
this morningCopy !req
124. and I need to
retrace my steps.Copy !req
125. You lost your name tag?Copy !req
126. Okay, Patrick, you
know the plan, right?Copy !req
127. I got it, I got it.Copy !req
128. You're going to retrace your
steps and when you walk by meCopy !req
129. I say, "Hi,"
just like this morning.Copy !req
130. Perfect!Copy !req
131. Mm, I guess I should start
with when I woke up.Copy !req
132. I sure hope this works.Copy !req
133. Good morning, world,
and all who inhabit it.Copy !req
134. Awk!Copy !req
135. So far, so good.Copy !req
136. I don't see my name tag up here.Copy !req
137. Now that my horrific incident
of terror is overCopy !req
138. how 'bout some breakfast?Copy !req
139. Bleah!Copy !req
140. Okay. Next I just have
to walk outsideCopy !req
141. and say hi to Patrick.Copy !req
142. Patrick!Copy !req
143. What?Copy !req
144. You were supposed
to say hi to me.Copy !req
145. Hi.Copy !req
146. Oh. All right,
let's take it from the top.Copy !req
147. Bye, SpongeBob.Copy !req
148. Don't forget your
line this time!Copy !req
149. I won't.Copy !req
150. Good morning, world
and all who inhabit it.Copy !req
151. Patrick, why
didn't you say hi to me?Copy !req
152. What's my motivation?Copy !req
153. Forget the motivation.Copy !req
154. Just say hi!Copy !req
155. Hi, Patrick.Copy !req
156. Wait! I'm Patrick.Copy !req
157. I'm sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
158. I'm sorry.Copy !req
159. Let's try it again.Copy !req
160. Bleah!Copy !req
161. Hi, SpongeBoob.Copy !req
162. SpongeBoob?Copy !req
163. I-I said— ha-ha!Copy !req
164. Who's SpongeBoob?Copy !req
165. I said SpongeBoob!Copy !req
166. Again, again. Sorry, people.Copy !req
167. I got the giggles.Copy !req
168. Oh, what's the use?Copy !req
169. I'll never find my name tag
in time for inspection.Copy !req
170. Well, what did you doCopy !req
171. after I said hi to
you this morning?Copy !req
172. Hmm. Let's see.Copy !req
173. I skipped merrily
to The Krusty Krab.Copy !req
174. Said hello to old man Jenkins.Copy !req
175. Hi, Mr. J.Copy !req
176. Placed an apple
on Mr. Krabs's deskCopy !req
177. and that's about it.Copy !req
178. Oh, and these two guys
threw me in the dumpster.Copy !req
179. Yi-yi-yi.Copy !req
180. Good one, guys!Copy !req
181. Whoa!Copy !req
182. That's it!Copy !req
183. Your name tag
is in the appleCopy !req
184. on Mr. Krabs' desk.Copy !req
185. Patrick, you're a genius.Copy !req
186. Oh, wait, he's probably
thrown it away by now.Copy !req
187. Well, then, we'll
look in the dumpster.Copy !req
188. What is that stench?Copy !req
189. That is the stench
of discovery.Copy !req
190. Come on, buddy, I'll
give you a boost.Copy !req
191. Hop on, pal.Copy !req
192. Yup-ho!Copy !req
193. Hey, it's not so bad,
once you get used to it.Copy !req
194. I wish I had a nose.Copy !req
195. Come on in, buddy,
the garbage is fine.Copy !req
196. Cannonball!Copy !req
197. You look over thereCopy !req
198. and I'll look over here.Copy !req
199. Okay.Copy !req
200. Patrick.Copy !req
201. I'm looking, I'm looking.Copy !req
202. Patrick.Copy !req
203. Patrick!Copy !req
204. I'm looking as fast as I can.Copy !req
205. Patrick!Copy !req
206. Thank you.Copy !req
207. Here, let me get that.Copy !req
208. Hey, look— a
Stingray 5000 single.Copy !req
209. Hey, these guys rock!Copy !req
210. Why would anybody
throw this away?Copy !req
211. Have you forgotten
what we're looking forCopy !req
212. knee deep in yesterday's
Top 40 songs?Copy !req
213. Yes.Copy !req
214. I'll give you a hint:
Two words.Copy !req
215. First word, "my."Copy !req
216. Second word, "name tag."Copy !req
217. Could I have another hint?Copy !req
218. Patrick, I would love
to sit hereCopy !req
219. and play "20 Questions"
with youCopy !req
220. but I've only got
one minute till inspection.Copy !req
221. Aah! One minute?Copy !req
222. Hurry, Patrick!Copy !req
223. We don't have much time.Copy !req
224. Hey, SpongeBob.Copy !req
225. Not now, Patrick.Copy !req
226. I know where
your name tag is.Copy !req
227. Where? Where?Copy !req
228. Uh...Copy !req
229. I can't remember.Copy !req
230. Patrick, I don't
have time for this.Copy !req
231. There it is!Copy !req
232. Where?Copy !req
233. Uh. I forgot again.Copy !req
234. Patrick, are you with me
or against me?Copy !req
235. Well, could you
give me a hint?Copy !req
236. There! I see it!Copy !req
237. Yeah, yeah, yeah—
the boy who cried, "Name tag."Copy !req
238. If you're not going to help meCopy !req
239. then just go crawl
back under your rock.Copy !req
240. Well, at least I don't
wear my shirt backwards.Copy !req
241. My shirt backward? What the...?Copy !req
242. My shirt's on backwards!Copy !req
243. I had my identity all along.Copy !req
244. Oh, and just in time.Copy !req
245. Thanks, Patrick.Copy !req
246. Don't mention it, buddy.Copy !req
247. Fall in for inspection!Copy !req
248. All right, you two.Copy !req
249. Hat and uniform
seem to be in order.Copy !req
250. Hmm...Copy !req
251. Promise me you'll shave
tonight and you pass.Copy !req
252. Hoo-rah.Copy !req
253. Okay, boy,
your turn.Copy !req
254. I think you'll find
everything ship-shape.Copy !req
255. Jumping jellyfish,
what's that stench?Copy !req
256. Uh, discovery?Copy !req
257. And that's how I got
my identity back.Copy !req
258. Welp, that's my story.Copy !req
259. Well, you managed
to kill 11 minutes.Copy !req
260. Thanks, uh...Copy !req
261. Betty.Copy !req
262. What? Oh, sweetie,
I'm not Betty.Copy !req
263. I just borrowed her uniform
while mine's at the cleaners.Copy !req
264. Ah, The Krusty KrabCopy !req
265. home of the delicious
Krabby PattyCopy !req
266. and its super-secret recipe.Copy !req
267. Attention,
Krusty Krab crew!Copy !req
268. All hands report
immediately!Copy !req
269. Fry Cook SpongeBob
reporting, sir!Copy !req
270. What's all the yelling about?Copy !req
271. Today is
the 25th anniversaryCopy !req
272. of the first time
me archenemy PlanktonCopy !req
273. ever tried to steal
me secretCopy !req
274. Krabby Patty formula.Copy !req
275. Can I have
the secret formula?Copy !req
276. No! Okay.Copy !req
277. But he was persistent.Copy !req
278. Pretty please? Uh-huh.Copy !req
279. He used disguise...Copy !req
280. super-science...Copy !req
281. civil disobedience...Copy !req
282. and I always
came out on top.Copy !req
283. Fascinating.Copy !req
284. But thousands of failures
have made him craftyCopy !req
285. so keep your eyes open.Copy !req
286. You never know
what trick he'll useCopy !req
287. to steal me secret
Krabby Patty formula.Copy !req
288. What a quaint restaurant.Copy !req
289. I think I will sample
their wares.Copy !req
290. Ooh, how weird—Copy !req
291. a machine made to
look like a customer.Copy !req
292. SpongeBob, why don't you go
hose out the men's room.Copy !req
293. With pleasure, sir!Copy !req
294. I'lltake this one.Copy !req
295. Welcome to The
Krusty Krab, sir.Copy !req
296. May I help you?Copy !req
297. Yes, please.Copy !req
298. I'd like an order
of chili coral bits.Copy !req
299. You sure you don't want
a Krabby Patty?Copy !req
300. No, thank you.Copy !req
301. Will this cover it?Copy !req
302. Uh... sure.Copy !req
303. Here you go.Copy !req
304. Good day.Copy !req
305. Hm. I was sure it was
one of Plankton's tricks.Copy !req
306. Well, at least his money's good.Copy !req
307. Aha!Copy !req
308. Plankton! You knew I would
never distrust a dollar!Copy !req
309. That's right, Krabs.Copy !req
310. Now, hand over the secret
Krabby Patty formula!Copy !req
311. Or what?Copy !req
312. I don't know.Copy !req
313. I never thought
I'd get this far.Copy !req
314. Well, then, allow me to
suggest your next move.Copy !req
315. Yowww!Copy !req
316. Curse you, Krabs!Copy !req
317. And now for the chaser.Copy !req
318. You just wait, Krabs!Copy !req
319. Next time I'll...Copy !req
320. Who am I kidding?Copy !req
321. At least I can go home
to a wife who understands.Copy !req
322. So, tell me what happened.Copy !req
323. I don't want to talk about it.Copy !req
324. Talking will make
you feel better.Copy !req
325. Leave me alone.Copy !req
326. That's your problem—
you never let anyone in.Copy !req
327. Plankton the rock,
Plankton the loner.Copy !req
328. And she's off,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
329. You have to do
everything yourself.Copy !req
330. That's why everything you try
ends up like this.Copy !req
331. And like this.Copy !req
332. And more recently, like this.Copy !req
333. I'm a failure!Copy !req
334. It's not that bad.Copy !req
335. You just require a little help.Copy !req
336. Maybe some henchmen.Copy !req
337. Henchmen?Copy !req
338. Yes. What you need to doCopy !req
339. is surround yourself
with muscular tough guysCopy !req
340. who will do whatever you say.Copy !req
341. I like the sound of that.Copy !req
342. I'll canvass all the seediest
lowbrow dives in townCopy !req
343. to find my minions.Copy !req
344. And I know just how to speak
their language.Copy !req
345. Felicitations, malefactors!Copy !req
346. I am endeavoring
to misappropriateCopy !req
347. the formulary
for the preparationCopy !req
348. of affordable comestibles.Copy !req
349. Who will join me?Copy !req
350. I don't get it—
no matter what I doCopy !req
351. I always end up being squashed
by someone bigger than me.Copy !req
352. Oh, come on.Copy !req
353. I think you're
overreacting.Copy !req
354. Sorry.Copy !req
355. That's okay—
I'm no differentCopy !req
356. than the millions
of other plankton in the sea.Copy !req
357. The plankton familyCopy !req
358. has always been pushed around
and stepped on.Copy !req
359. Wait. That's it.Copy !req
360. Acting alone, we're powerlessCopy !req
361. but united, the plankton familyCopy !req
362. could be a real pain
in the belly!Copy !req
363. Krabs may think one plankton
is no problemCopy !req
364. but let's see him take on twoCopy !req
365. or tenCopy !req
366. or 100Copy !req
367. or 1,000!Copy !req
368. And why stop there?Copy !req
369. I'll gather every family member
from every corner of the ocean.Copy !req
370. The entire plankton familyCopy !req
371. under one roof!Copy !req
372. Krabs won't stand a chanceCopy !req
373. against
the staggering intellectCopy !req
374. of a million super-smart
criminal masterminds!Copy !req
375. They're here!Copy !req
376. Welcome, brethren!Copy !req
377. Hey, look here, buddy—
it's Cousin Plankton!Copy !req
378. Yee-haw!Copy !req
379. I've been away from home
longer than I thought.Copy !req
380. Well, howdy, cousin!Copy !req
381. Guh...Copy !req
382. It's me, Clem.Copy !req
383. Of course, you remember ZekeCopy !req
384. Rufus, Jete, Billy Bob,
Billy JimCopy !req
385. Billy Billy Bo Willy
Banana Fana Fo FillyCopy !req
386. Doug, Enos...Copy !req
387. Julio, Fletcher McGee,
Rainchild...Copy !req
388. All right, I get it!Copy !req
389. I mean, uh, come inside,
make yourself at home.Copy !req
390. I'd like you to meet
my computer wife, Karen.Copy !req
391. Golly, she sure is
pretty, Sheldon.Copy !req
392. Sheldon?Copy !req
393. Yes, that's my first name.Copy !req
394. Sheldon? Will you please...?Copy !req
395. I'm sorry. All rightCopy !req
396. [ laughter
continues]as I was saying...Copy !req
397. Okay, we all know
Sheldon's a funny name.Copy !req
398. O-ho-kay.
Okay, I'm done.Copy !req
399. No more.
Good.Copy !req
400. To continue.Copy !req
401. Only you can bring honor...Copy !req
402. and dignity...Copy !req
403. back to the plankton...Copy !req
404. For years, it has been my goalCopy !req
405. to acquire
the secret formula for...Copy !req
406. Okay, that's enough!Copy !req
407. Sheldon! Ha...Copy !req
408. Bottom line:
we invade The Krusty KrabCopy !req
409. so I can steal
the secret formula.Copy !req
410. What do you think?Copy !req
411. Uh, what's in it for us?Copy !req
412. Hey, what about us?Copy !req
413. Well, what do you want?Copy !req
414. Garsh! Could I get
a new string for my banjo?Copy !req
415. And another boot
to match this 'un?Copy !req
416. And some more memory
for my laptop?Copy !req
417. What about root beer?Copy !req
418. Root beer?Copy !req
419. Help me get
the secret formulaCopy !req
420. and you can have as much
root beer as you can drink.Copy !req
421. Victory, thy name is plankton!Copy !req
422. Well, Mr. SquidwardCopy !req
423. it's almost closing time,
and we haven't seenCopy !req
424. eye or antenna
of old Plankton for hours.Copy !req
425. Yes, sir, I think this time,
he's finally given up...Copy !req
426. Attention,
Krusty Krab management.Copy !req
427. This is your better
speaking.Copy !req
428. What?Copy !req
429. I have the restaurant
surrounded.Copy !req
430. Give me the secret formulaCopy !req
431. or I'll destroy
The Krusty Krab.Copy !req
432. Eh, you and what army, bug?Copy !req
433. What army?Copy !req
434. What army?Copy !req
435. Look around you, Krabs.Copy !req
436. You planted grass?Copy !req
437. Grass?Copy !req
438. Uh-oh.Copy !req
439. You'll never get away with it,
Plankton!Copy !req
440. You're right—
the pipes are
much too narrow.Copy !req
441. Besides, what I really want
is the Krabby Patty formula.Copy !req
442. Well, you might as well
forget it!Copy !req
443. The formula is locked away
in me safeCopy !req
444. and I'll never give you
the combination.Copy !req
445. Silence!Copy !req
446. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
447. I think you'll find
we're more than capableCopy !req
448. of figuring it out
for ourselves.Copy !req
449. Oh, boys?Copy !req
450. That's it—
a little to the left.Copy !req
451. Curse you planktonCopy !req
452. and your ability
to join togetherCopy !req
453. to form a working human ear.Copy !req
454. Hot dog!Copy !req
455. Yes!Copy !req
456. It's mine! The formula's mine!Copy !req
457. After all these years,
it's finally mine!Copy !req
458. Let it be known that on this dayCopy !req
459. I, Sheldon J. PlanktonCopy !req
460. single-handedly overthrew
The Krusty Krab!Copy !req
461. Ahem!Copy !req
462. A-And if course, I had
a little help from the family.Copy !req
463. Plankton, wait!
You can't look
at the formula!Copy !req
464. Begging won't help.Copy !req
465. I'm telling you,
you won't be able
to handle the truth.Copy !req
466. There's some things
in this worldCopy !req
467. that weren't meant
for mortal eyes.Copy !req
468. Eye.Copy !req
469. Eye.Copy !req
470. I don't care.Copy !req
471. Drumroll, please!Copy !req
472. Finally, after all these yearsCopy !req
473. I'm about to find out what makes
a Krabby Patty taste so good.Copy !req
474. The secret recipe
for one Krabby Patty is...Copy !req
475. "A pinch of salt..."Copy !req
476. Plankton, wait!Copy !req
477. "... three teaspoons
of chopped onions..."Copy !req
478. I'm warning you.Copy !req
479. "... a cup of love..."Copy !req
480. Don't do it!Copy !req
481. "... mixed togetherCopy !req
482. "with the most important
ingredient of all—Copy !req
483. "four heaping pounds
of freshly ground...Copy !req
484. plankton"?Copy !req
485. I warned you.Copy !req
486. Hey, why ain't you running?Copy !req
487. Well, I can't read.Copy !req
488. Get out of here.Copy !req
489. Hyuh, hyuh,
hyuh, hyuh.Copy !req
490. Hey, guys. Did
I miss anything?Copy !req
491. Mr. Krabs, is this really
the secret ingredientCopy !req
492. for the Krabby Patty?Copy !req
493. Of course not.Copy !req
494. And Plankton'll probably
figure that outCopy !req
495. and be back again to find out
what the real formula is.Copy !req
496. But don't
worry, boys—Copy !req
497. the formula's
safe from harm.Copy !req
498. I got it hidden
in me most secret
hiding place—Copy !req
499. a place no one,
not even Plankton,
would ever figure out.Copy !req
500. Let me guess— it's at home
under your mattress.Copy !req
501. Curse you, Squidward!Copy !req
502. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
503. and NICKELODEONCopy !req