1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Good morning, pineapple.Copy !req
8. Good morning,
Gary.Copy !req
9. Good morning, world.Copy !req
10. I'm ready!Copy !req
11. World?Copy !req
12. Talk to me.Copy !req
13. Package, sir.Copy !req
14. Ah-ha!Copy !req
15. I can't believe
it's finally here.Copy !req
16. There you go.Copy !req
17. Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.Copy !req
18. Thank you, Mr...
Tennis Balls.Copy !req
19. That's "Tentacles."Copy !req
20. Squidward's last name
is "Tentacles"?Copy !req
21. Poor guy.Copy !req
22. Hey, check out
Squidward's new snail.Copy !req
23. Fancy.Copy !req
24. So that's what
came in the mail.Copy !req
25. Looks like Gary has
a new little playmate.Copy !req
26. Dream on,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
27. I wouldn't let Snellie here
play with that mongrel mutt.Copy !req
28. She's a purebred.Copy !req
29. Wow. A snail made
out of bread.Copy !req
30. No.Copy !req
31. Purebred means
she's of the highest pedigree.Copy !req
32. See?Copy !req
33. She even has
her own papers.Copy !req
34. So if you'll excuse usCopy !req
35. Snellie has to start
her training.Copy !req
36. Training?Copy !req
37. For Bikini Bottom's snail race.Copy !req
38. Snellie will be winning
this Sunday.Copy !req
39. Sunday?Copy !req
40. Well, I guess I can't
enter Gary in that.Copy !req
41. Sunday's laundry day.Copy !req
42. No, SpongeBob.Copy !req
43. You can't enter Gary
because Gary's a mutt.Copy !req
44. Boy, you got that right.
Gary's no...Copy !req
45. Hey! What makes you
so sureCopy !req
46. Gary couldn't
win that race?Copy !req
47. Papers.Copy !req
48. Hmm, "Property of
Squidward Pimples."Copy !req
49. That's Tennisball...
Uh, Tentacles!Copy !req
50. Come on, Snellie.Copy !req
51. You know what?Copy !req
52. I'm starting to get
the ideaCopy !req
53. that Squidward thinks
his snail is better than mine.Copy !req
54. No!Copy !req
55. Patrick, are you thinkingCopy !req
56. what I'm thinking?Copy !req
57. Yeah, I should
get a snailCopy !req
58. and enter it
in that race and
beat Squidward.Copy !req
59. Are youthinking
what I'm thinking?Copy !req
60. No, no, no!Copy !req
61. I'm thinking about entering
you in that raceCopy !req
62. and beating Squidward's snail!Copy !req
63. Looks like we're goingCopy !req
64. to start our training now,
ladies.Copy !req
65. I call you a lady
to humiliate and demean you.Copy !req
66. It's a motivational tool
we coaches use.Copy !req
67. Hmm, I don't know whyCopy !req
68. but I think I'll kick
SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.Copy !req
69. Kelp powder for muscle massCopy !req
70. raw eggs 'cause they're clicheCopy !req
71. and nails for toughness.Copy !req
72. Of course I expect you
to eat this.Copy !req
73. It's scientifically designed
to help you win tomorrow.Copy !req
74. Gary?Copy !req
75. Wow, pretty good time.Copy !req
76. Hey, SpongeBob,
check out my new snail.Copy !req
77. Patrick, your snail
is a rock.Copy !req
78. Yeah, thanks. I know.Copy !req
79. He's got nerves
of steel.Copy !req
80. See you at the big race!Copy !req
81. Boy, the competition's
getting tough.Copy !req
82. That's it, Gary.Copy !req
83. We are going to start
some serious training right now.Copy !req
84. All right, Gary,
let's start with some sprints.Copy !req
85. On your mark, set, go!Copy !req
86. Go, Gary, go, come on!Copy !req
87. Go, Gary!
It's all yours, Gary!Copy !req
88. Gary?Copy !req
89. Come on, Gary,
the big race is tomorrow.Copy !req
90. You got to start training
if you want to win.Copy !req
91. Don't waste your breath,
SpongeBob.Copy !req
92. That mongrel of yours
doesn't have a chance
against Snellie.Copy !req
93. Excuse meCopy !req
94. but you two seem
to be forgettingCopy !req
95. who the real winner will be—
my snail.Copy !req
96. Patrick, that's a rock.Copy !req
97. Yeah, thanks. I know.Copy !req
98. He's got nerves
of steel.Copy !req
99. Hey, what are you
standing on, anyway?Copy !req
100. Like I saidCopy !req
101. don't even bother
showing up tomorrow.Copy !req
102. My snail's really got Squidward
scared, huh, SpongeBob?Copy !req
103. Sorry, Patrick.Copy !req
104. Gary and I've got
some serious work to do.Copy !req
105. You can run, but you can't hide,
Squarepants!Copy !req
106. All right, Gary,
no more fooling around.Copy !req
107. Time to get serious.Copy !req
108. Come on, Gary, move it!Copy !req
109. Up, up, up, up!
Down, down, down, down!Copy !req
110. Faster, faster, faster!
Go, go, go!Copy !req
111. Come on, push it,
Gary, push it!Copy !req
112. Move that shell!Copy !req
113. Come on, Gary, move it!Copy !req
114. Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Faster!Copy !req
115. Let's go! Let's go!
Speed it up! Speed it up!Copy !req
116. Move it, Gary!
Move it, move it, move it!Copy !req
117. Stroke, stroke, stroke.Copy !req
118. Come on, Gary,
we're going to be lateCopy !req
119. for the big race!Copy !req
120. Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemenCopy !req
121. and welcome to our live coverageCopy !req
122. of this year's spring classic,
the 102nd Running of The Snail.Copy !req
123. And what a beautiful day
for this sport of kingsCopy !req
124. of which I'm a huge fan.Copy !req
125. Seriously, I'm just a fan.Copy !req
126. I was on my way to my seat,
the door was open...Copy !req
127. Hey, what are
you doing?Copy !req
128. Sorry about that, folks.Copy !req
129. Let's go down to the fieldCopy !req
130. to join the mayor
for the pre-game ceremony.Copy !req
131. And now for the lighting of the
Torch of Good Sportsmanship.Copy !req
132. Please join meCopy !req
133. in welcoming snail racing's
first-ever championCopy !req
134. Lightning Larry Luciano!Copy !req
135. Would you look at that, folks?Copy !req
136. Lightning Larry Luciano,
a living legendCopy !req
137. slowly making his way
center stage.Copy !req
138. And what a proud moment
for this sport.Copy !req
139. The crowd is going
absolutely nuts...Copy !req
140. for Larry.Copy !req
141. He's almost there.Copy !req
142. Uh, yes, siree.Copy !req
143. Any minute now.Copy !req
144. He's almost a quarter
of the way there.Copy !req
145. The torch is lit!Copy !req
146. Let the race begin.Copy !req
147. Well, SpongeBob,
I must admitCopy !req
148. I didn't think
that mongrel mutt of yoursCopy !req
149. would even find
the starting line.Copy !req
150. Congratulations.Copy !req
151. Save it for the loser's circle,
Squidward.Copy !req
152. Gary happens to be
in the best shape of his life.Copy !req
153. I'll alert
the paramedics.Copy !req
154. Good one, Squidward.Copy !req
155. You guys ready?Copy !req
156. Uh! A burglar!Copy !req
157. No, Patrick,
that's the official.Copy !req
158. We're ready to start
here, folks.Copy !req
159. Okay, Snellie,
let's show theseCopy !req
160. common, garden-variety snailsCopy !req
161. what superior breeding
is all about.Copy !req
162. All right, Gary,
listen up.Copy !req
163. The competition is
going to be fierce.Copy !req
164. You're the undersnail.Copy !req
165. Everybody's already
counting you out.Copy !req
166. Now get out there
and winCopy !req
167. so we can rub Squidward's
big, fat nose in it.Copy !req
168. This is what you've been
training for, Rocky.Copy !req
169. This is why we're here.Copy !req
170. On your mark, get setCopy !req
171. slither!Copy !req
172. And they're off!Copy !req
173. Number six, Snellie, rockets out
of the starting blocksCopy !req
174. leaving the other two
competitors in the dust!Copy !req
175. What?Copy !req
176. Go, Snellie,
you got it, baby!Copy !req
177. What are you doing, Gary?
The race has started!Copy !req
178. You let Snellie
take the lead!Copy !req
179. Let's go, Gary!
Start moving!Copy !req
180. You're blowing everything
we trained for!Copy !req
181. Blowing it!Copy !req
182. It's okay, Rocky.
You go when you feel like it.Copy !req
183. Gary, are you listening to me?Copy !req
184. Get the anchors out
of your pants right now!Copy !req
185. Don't give me
that look!Copy !req
186. I said now, mister!
Get going, Gary!Copy !req
187. Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
188. And there goes number seven
out of the starting gate.Copy !req
189. Hang on, folks.Copy !req
190. He doesn't look so good.Copy !req
191. Not good enough, Gary!
Not good enough! Faster!Copy !req
192. I do not like the look of this.Copy !req
193. Come on, Gary, it's a race!
A race!Copy !req
194. Have you heard of 'em?Copy !req
195. That coach is pushing that snail
too hard.Copy !req
196. Faster, Gary! Faster, faster,
faster, faster!Copy !req
197. Huh?Copy !req
198. Oh! Looks like number seven
has a blowout.Copy !req
199. Oop, make that two, folks.Copy !req
200. Uh, Gary?Copy !req
201. Plus a blown head gasket!Copy !req
202. Oh, and the poor creature's
still going for it.Copy !req
203. Um, Gary, you can stop now.Copy !req
204. And he's losing control!Copy !req
205. You can take a breath now
if you want to, Gary!Copy !req
206. He's spinning out of control!Copy !req
207. He's heading straight
for the wall!Copy !req
208. No!Copy !req
209. Hold on, Gary,
I'm coming!Copy !req
210. Whoa-oa.Copy !req
211. One of the coaches seems
to have raced onto the track.Copy !req
212. That is an automatic
disqualification.Copy !req
213. Looks like number six
has this race all wrapped up,Copy !req
214. ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
215. Come on, Snellie,
it's all you, baby!Copy !req
216. Oh, Gary, I'm sorry.Copy !req
217. Why didn't you just say
I was pushing it too hard?Copy !req
218. You did?Copy !req
219. Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me
I wasn't listening?Copy !req
220. You did?Copy !req
221. Oh, Gary!
Oh, Gary!Copy !req
222. What?Copy !req
223. Gary?Copy !req
224. Oh...Copy !req
225. Aw...Copy !req
226. My, oh, my.Copy !req
227. Folks, I have never seen
anything quite like this.Copy !req
228. It seems Snellie, the leader,
just went back to comfort Gary.Copy !req
229. Looks like you and I are
in-laws, eh, Squidward?Copy !req
230. But that's impossible.Copy !req
231. If Snellie didn't win, then...Copy !req
232. And the winner is Rocky!Copy !req
233. I can't believe it.Copy !req
234. My purebred—
which cost me $1,700—Copy !req
235. lost to a rock.Copy !req
236. Don't worry, Squidward.Copy !req
237. I know how much
you wanted to winCopy !req
238. so I had the trophy
engraved to you.Copy !req
239. Gosh, Patrick, thanks.Copy !req
240. "The 1st Place
Snail Racing CupCopy !req
241. Presented to
Squidward Tortellini?"Copy !req
242. Will I ever win?Copy !req
243. That's for yesterday,
Squarepants!Copy !req
244. D.J.:
You've got it tuned to KOLD—Copy !req
245. K-OLD, the all oldies station.Copy !req
246. Here's a little somethingCopy !req
247. you may remember
from the good old days.Copy !req
248. Good morning, Daddy.Copy !req
249. I made you breakfast.Copy !req
250. Thank you, sweet pea.Copy !req
251. I see you got creative
with the bran today.Copy !req
252. Open up. It's time
for the pill.Copy !req
253. Oh, Barnacles.Copy !req
254. I hate the pill.Copy !req
255. Ooh...Copy !req
256. Pearl... do you think
I'm... old?Copy !req
257. Well, of course I do!Copy !req
258. But that's okay.Copy !req
259. Daddies are supposed
to be old.Copy !req
260. But I'm still cool, right?Copy !req
261. Your old man is cool?Copy !req
262. See, no one
says "cool" anymore.Copy !req
263. That's such
an old-person thing.Copy !req
264. Now we say "coral," as inCopy !req
265. "That nose job is so coral."Copy !req
266. "Coral," eh?Copy !req
267. Ew. When you say it,
it sounds so uncoral.Copy !req
268. What if I said it
with a different inflection?Copy !req
269. Co- ral.Copy !req
270. Don't you have to go
to work or something, Dad?Copy !req
271. Whoo! You're right.Copy !req
272. Have a coral day, honey.Copy !req
273. Jenny, it's Pearl.Copy !req
274. Coral is definitely out.Copy !req
275. Ha! Old?Copy !req
276. What was I thinking?Copy !req
277. I ain't old. Huh?Copy !req
278. Don't worry, Pops.Copy !req
279. We're almost across
the street.Copy !req
280. Hey, get away from me.Copy !req
281. I don't need no
snot-nosed little...Copy !req
282. sorry you had
to see that.Copy !req
283. Come on. Move it!Copy !req
284. Could you be
any slower?Copy !req
285. And you've had
your blinker onCopy !req
286. for the last
five blocks.Copy !req
287. Hey, Mister, could youCopy !req
288. throw the ball
back over here?Copy !req
289. Hey, how's about
I join you kids?Copy !req
290. Uh... that's okay.Copy !req
291. You can keep it.Copy !req
292. Why do old people always
have to ruin the fun?Copy !req
293. Hey! No cutting!Copy !req
294. You got to wait your
turn like everybody else.Copy !req
295. No... no!
I ain't old like you!Copy !req
296. I ain't old!Copy !req
297. I ain't old!Copy !req
298. What's his problem?Copy !req
299. Next.Copy !req
300. Mommy, my Krabby patty
tastes funny.Copy !req
301. Well, no wonder.Copy !req
302. It's all old
and dried out...Copy !req
303. like that man right there.Copy !req
304. Now, put that thing
where it belongs—Copy !req
305. in the garbage.Copy !req
306. Well, little patty,
we're two of a kind.Copy !req
307. We've both lost our luster.Copy !req
308. Hmm. So that's
what I taste like.Copy !req
309. Good morning, Krusty Crew.Copy !req
310. Hi, Patrick! You all ready
for the big night out tonight?Copy !req
311. Yeah, it's gonna rock!Copy !req
312. Are you ready to go crazy?Copy !req
313. I'm already hearing voices!Copy !req
314. Are you ready to...Copy !req
315. SpongeBob! Patrick!
Do you mind?Copy !req
316. Let's continue
this conversation
in private, Patrick.Copy !req
317. I think some people
are eavesdropping!Copy !req
318. Well, how rude
of some people!Copy !req
319. Mmm. Those youngsters
are going outCopy !req
320. for a big night on the town.Copy !req
321. Whoo! I've been looking
forward to this night all week.Copy !req
322. Party!Copy !req
323. What do you think
we should do first?Copy !req
324. What shouldn't
we do first?Copy !req
325. We're young...Copy !req
326. we've got wheels...Copy !req
327. the world is our oyster!Copy !req
328. SpongeBob, you got something
on your shoulder.Copy !req
329. Hey, boys.
Hanging out?Copy !req
330. Yes.Copy !req
331. I couldn't helpCopy !req
332. overhearing your big plans,
and I was wonderingCopy !req
333. if you had room for one more
crazy dude tonight, huh?Copy !req
334. Of course. Did you want
to come with us, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
335. Oh... hadn't even
crossed me mind.Copy !req
336. But sure! I'll go!Copy !req
337. I don't know, SpongeBob.Copy !req
338. He might cramp our style.Copy !req
339. Style!Copy !req
340. Let's see if he knowsCopy !req
341. the secret
cool-guy handshake.Copy !req
342. Uh... yeah!Copy !req
343. 'Course I know it.Copy !req
344. Uh...Copy !req
345. Uh...Copy !req
346. I'm waiting... old man.Copy !req
347. Uh... how do you do?Copy !req
348. Fine, and you?
All right, you're in.Copy !req
349. But I'm not happy
about it.Copy !req
350. You passed the test,
Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
351. Great! Why don't you boys
show up at my house at 8:00.Copy !req
352. I just want to warn you,
Mr. KrabsCopy !req
353. we're always
fashionably late.Copy !req
354. Hey, there, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
355. Are you ready to party!Copy !req
356. Oh, I'm ready
to party!Copy !req
357. Are you ready
to party?Copy !req
358. I'm ready to party!Copy !req
359. Are you ready to party,
SpongeBob?Copy !req
360. I'm ready to party!Copy !req
361. Are you ready to party,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
362. I'm ready to par-tay!Copy !req
363. Are you ready
to par-tay, SpongeBob!Copy !req
364. I'm ready to par-tay!Copy !req
365. Are you ready to par-tay,
Patrick?Copy !req
366. I'm ready to party!Copy !req
367. Are you ready to party,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
368. I'm ready to party!Copy !req
369. Are you ready to...Copy !req
370. Stop it!
Just stop it.Copy !req
371. You're embarrassing
me, Dad.Copy !req
372. So... what kind of hot rod
will we be cruisin' in tonight?Copy !req
373. Only the most powerful
chick-magnet in town...Copy !req
374. the underwater heartbreaker.Copy !req
375. It's more like
a chick repellent.Copy !req
376. And there's only
two seats.Copy !req
377. Calm your waters,
Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
378. I modified this little
baby myself.Copy !req
379. Are you sure this is what
the kids are driving these days?Copy !req
380. Only the cool kids.Copy !req
381. Hey. You guys
must be lost.Copy !req
382. Doofus Drive
is around the corner.Copy !req
383. We're not lost.Copy !req
384. I've got my compass.Copy !req
385. So long, dorks!
Ha-ha!Copy !req
386. Good-bye, pals.Copy !req
387. We used to beat people up
for saying things like that!Copy !req
388. Everything's
all topsy-turvy now.Copy !req
389. Here we are...Copy !req
390. The Wash.Copy !req
391. They sure are giving these clubs
some crazy names.Copy !req
392. I have to tell
you boys...Copy !req
393. I'm a little nervous.Copy !req
394. I haven't been, you know,
"on the scene"Copy !req
395. for quite a while now.Copy !req
396. Just follow our
lead, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
397. And above all...
keep it cool.Copy !req
398. Cool... Gotcha.Copy !req
399. Hello, gang.
SpongeBob's back.Copy !req
400. Let's party!Copy !req
401. Any port in a stor...Copy !req
402. Wait a minute.Copy !req
403. This is a Laundromat.Copy !req
404. Oh, yeah! Whoo!Copy !req
405. That's what I'm
talking about.Copy !req
406. Oh, yeah, yeah!Copy !req
407. The colors!Copy !req
408. Whoa, yeah!Copy !req
409. You guys want another
rinse cycle? I'm buying.Copy !req
410. You know, I love staring
at delicatesCopy !req
411. as much as the next guy, but...Copy !req
412. it's just that, I thought
we'd see more of the nightlife.Copy !req
413. Something that will give meCopy !req
414. that wild and crazy,
hot-blooded feeling...Copy !req
415. if you know what I mean.Copy !req
416. Oh, I know what you mean,
Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
417. This is only stop numero uno
on our night of debauchery!Copy !req
418. Debauchery!Copy !req
419. Debauchery!Copy !req
420. Debauchery? I never thoughtCopy !req
421. of picking up trash under
the highway as hot-blooded.Copy !req
422. But if it's what the kids
are into...Copy !req
423. So are you feelingCopy !req
424. that wild and crazy
feeling, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
425. Not yet.Copy !req
426. Don't worry, you will.Copy !req
427. Are you feeling it
now, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
428. I'm feeling a warm spot.Copy !req
429. Sorry.Copy !req
430. Are you feeling it nowCopy !req
431. Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
432. Are you feeling it?Copy !req
433. I'm feeling it, SpongeBob.Copy !req
434. Patrick, that's not a ride.Copy !req
435. Get off of me.Copy !req
436. Are you feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
437. Are you feeling
it now, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
438. Art thou feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
439. You feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
440. Shh!Copy !req
441. How about now?
Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
442. Can you feel it,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
443. Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
444. Can you feel it,
Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
445. So, you want to know
if I can feelit?Copy !req
446. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
447. Do you really want to know
if I can feelit?Copy !req
448. Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
449. Because I can feelit.Copy !req
450. You want to know what
I'm feeling?Copy !req
451. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
452. I'm feeling like
a total barnacle-head!Copy !req
453. You think
this is cool?Copy !req
454. How about this!Copy !req
455. And this! Am I with it now?Copy !req
456. You guys wouldn't
know a good timeCopy !req
457. if it bit you
in the aft end!Copy !req
458. I'm going home.Copy !req
459. You guys ain't cool.Copy !req
460. You're lame!Copy !req
461. Uh... lame?Copy !req
462. Lame!Copy !req
463. You're nerds! GeeksCopy !req
464. Creeps! And babies!Copy !req
465. Not babies!
Not babies!Copy !req
466. I may be old, but even
an old bag of shells like meCopy !req
467. knows that you haven't suggested
one cool thing all night!Copy !req
468. So good night to ya!Copy !req
469. I guess you're going to miss
the panty raid.Copy !req
470. The what?Copy !req
471. I said... I guess you're goingCopy !req
472. to miss the panty raid.Copy !req
473. Panty raid? You're talking
about girls, right?Copy !req
474. Girl girls?Copy !req
475. Yeah.Copy !req
476. And you're talking
about raiding their dressersCopy !req
477. for their underpants,
right?Copy !req
478. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
479. Well, count me in!Copy !req
480. If this works, I'll take
back what I saidCopy !req
481. about you two being lame.Copy !req
482. Not lame!Copy !req
483. Now, this is more like it!Copy !req
484. Give us some credit, old man.Copy !req
485. We're panty professionals!Copy !req
486. We score here all the time.Copy !req
487. Frilly things!Copy !req
488. We hit the jackpot!Copy !req
489. Oh, yeah,
Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
490. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
491. You finally came through
for me, boys!Copy !req
492. I feel young again.Copy !req
493. Eugene?Copy !req
494. Mother?Copy !req
495. What are you doing
with my bloomers?Copy !req
496. Well... I, uh...Copy !req
497. Why didn't you tell me
this was my mother's house?Copy !req
498. Why didn't you ask?Copy !req
499. Uh... ooh.Copy !req
500. But it was all SpongeBob
and Patrick's idea!Copy !req
501. Go to your room, mister.Copy !req
502. You're grounded
for the rest of the night.Copy !req
503. Yes, Mommy.Copy !req
504. Don't worry, pops.Copy !req
505. We're almost to your room.Copy !req
506. Sorry, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
507. Ah, that's all right, lad.Copy !req
508. I certainly feel younger.Copy !req
509. Good night, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
510. Good night, SpongeBob.Copy !req
511. Eugene, lights out!Copy !req
512. Yes, Mommy.Copy !req
513. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
514. and NICKELODEONCopy !req