1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
7. Welcome to
"SpongeBob's House Party"Copy !req
8. with your host,
Patchy the Pirate.Copy !req
9. There'll be punch, cookies,
explosionsCopy !req
10. and a brand-new episode
ofSpongeBob SquarePants.Copy !req
11. Hooray!Copy !req
12. Now, live from
Encino, California,Copy !req
13. get ready for a warm embraceCopy !req
14. from our party host,
Patchy the Pirate.Copy !req
15. Hey, get off my lawn!Copy !req
16. Party?Copy !req
17. Geez, there ain't no party here.Copy !req
18. Go away!Copy !req
19. Come on in.Copy !req
20. Hush, Polly,
can't you seeCopy !req
21. I'm trying to keep
out the riffraff?Copy !req
22. Riffraff?Copy !req
23. That's our
television audience,
barnacle-breath.Copy !req
24. Oh.Copy !req
25. Of course, it is.Copy !req
26. I was just fooling.Copy !req
27. Welcome!Copy !req
28. Say, you didn't
bring SpongeBob
with you, did you?Copy !req
29. Gee, I sure hope he
got his invitation.Copy !req
30. I'd sure like to go
to this party,Copy !req
31. but I can't read
the invitation.Copy !req
32. Me, neither.Copy !req
33. Whoever sent this
obviously has no ideaCopy !req
34. about the physical limitations
of life underwater.Copy !req
35. Well, might as well
throw these in the fire.Copy !req
36. Ah, well, come on in.Copy !req
37. Let me introduce
you around.Copy !req
38. This here's
Minnie Mermaid.Copy !req
39. Minnie's cooling off
on account ofCopy !req
40. she's been dancing
her scales off.Copy !req
41. Isn't that right,
Minnie, huh?Copy !req
42. Take a little
breakie-poo?Copy !req
43. No, Patchy,
actually I'm in hereCopy !req
44. because if I wasn't,
I would die.Copy !req
45. That's the spirit.Copy !req
46. Let's see, who else
haven't you met?Copy !req
47. Hey!Copy !req
48. That's Longbeard,
the Pirate.Copy !req
49. Hey there, Longbeard,
long time no see.Copy !req
50. Who dares to
interrupt Neptune?Copy !req
51. Sorry about that, Neppy.Copy !req
52. That's Neptune.Copy !req
53. He's king of the sea.Copy !req
54. You kids having fun?Copy !req
55. Hosting a party
is hard work, boy.Copy !req
56. That reminds me of the time when
SpongeBob was hosting a party.Copy !req
57. Hey, you kids want
to see that cartoon?Copy !req
58. You do?Copy !req
59. Well, then, launch the cartoon.Copy !req
60. Ah, the Barg'n Mart—
a consumer's paradiseCopy !req
61. of brand-like items stocked
as far as the eye can see.Copy !req
62. Boom!Copy !req
63. 19 seconds!Copy !req
64. That's a new record, Lou.Copy !req
65. Uh, that's great, SpongeBob.Copy !req
66. $1.42.Copy !req
67. But it's not an official recordCopy !req
68. until we record it
in the Book of Records.Copy !req
69. "19 seconds."Copy !req
70. Okay. So it's $1.42.Copy !req
71. Sign here, please.Copy !req
72. Initial here.Copy !req
73. And here.Copy !req
74. And... here.Copy !req
75. Oh, look, it's a picture
I took of youCopy !req
76. the first time I ever came here.Copy !req
77. Look at you,
so young and happy.Copy !req
78. Where do the years go?Copy !req
79. Hey, what's that?Copy !req
80. "Plan Your Own Party Kit."Copy !req
81. Hey, Lou, how much?Copy !req
82. For the Plan Your Own Party Kit?Copy !req
83. Oh, we're having a special
on those.Copy !req
84. Uh, they're free.Copy !req
85. But you have to leave...
right now.Copy !req
86. Let's see, Gary.Copy !req
87. According to the
Plan Your Own Party Kit,Copy !req
88. invitations are the first
order of business.Copy !req
89. "A short guest listCopy !req
90. "consisting of only
your closest acquaintancesCopy !req
91. "will set an intimate tone
for the eveningCopy !req
92. and provide soirée success."Copy !req
93. You heard the man, Gary:
only our closest friends.Copy !req
94. Who the barnacles
is SpongeBob SquarePants?Copy !req
95. I believe you went to
kindergarten with him, dear.Copy !req
96. Kindergarten, huh?Copy !req
97. Oh, yeah, SquarePants.Copy !req
98. Well, I guess it's time
to move again.Copy !req
99. Gary, this Plan Your Own Party
Kit is a real lifesaver.Copy !req
100. How else would I have knownCopy !req
101. to make freshly whipped
clotted cream?Copy !req
102. Gary, you better call
an astronomer,Copy !req
103. because this clotted cream
is out of this world!Copy !req
104. My piñata.Copy !req
105. Ooh, hot, hot, hot,
hot, hot, hot, hot.Copy !req
106. The Plan Your Own Party Kit
encourages creativityCopy !req
107. when stuffing your piñata.Copy !req
108. That's why I'm using
deviled eggs.Copy !req
109. Good question, Gary,
but not to worry.Copy !req
110. The Plan Your Own Party Kit
warns that unsupervised partiesCopy !req
111. can lead to disaster.Copy !req
112. That's why I've taken the
liberty of devising a schedule—Copy !req
113. 8:00 to 8:05, guests arrive;Copy !req
114. 8:05 to 8:15, opening remarks
and general discussion;Copy !req
115. 8:15 to 8:27, craft corner,Copy !req
116. followed by name tag
distribution.Copy !req
117. At 8:27 we begin
the qualifying roundsCopy !req
118. for our cracker-eating/
tongue-twister contest.Copy !req
119. 9:07, running charades;Copy !req
120. 9:38, charity apple-bob;Copy !req
121. 9:57, electric jitterbug
dance marathon—Copy !req
122. ladies' choice.Copy !req
123. At 10:09, things start cookingCopy !req
124. as I dip into my world famous
knock-knock joke vault.Copy !req
125. And as long as we stickCopy !req
126. to this schedule,Copy !req
127. our party is
a guaranteed success.Copy !req
128. This is going to be
the coolest party ever!Copy !req
129. Ha-ha!Copy !req
130. Looks like it's smooth party
sailing for SpongeBob so far.Copy !req
131. Now it's time for me
to get me own party underway.Copy !req
132. Gather round,
you scurvy landlubbers.Copy !req
133. It's time to learn the
Peg-legged Dance of Happiness.Copy !req
134. Whoa!Copy !req
135. It's quite simple really.Copy !req
136. All you need is a peg leg
and some patience,Copy !req
137. and my instructional video
series, only $29.95.Copy !req
138. How tacky!Copy !req
139. It's a $40 value,
Polly, a $40 value!Copy !req
140. Now, it's very easy
and loads of fun.Copy !req
141. Hey, everybody,
the band's here.Copy !req
142. Band? What band?Copy !req
143. The band I hired
for the party.Copy !req
144. A jolly idea, Polly!Copy !req
145. A little live music'll
get me shindig dug.Copy !req
146. Who'd you get, Barnacle Bill
and the Seven Seas?Copy !req
147. No.Copy !req
148. Seaweed SallyCopy !req
149. and her turtle?Copy !req
150. No.Copy !req
151. Oh, oh, I know—
The First Mates.Copy !req
152. No.Copy !req
153. Salt Water Sam,Copy !req
154. featuring
the Brine Brothers.Copy !req
155. No.Copy !req
156. Rusty HingesCopy !req
157. and the Boys
from the Brig?Copy !req
158. They broke up
years ago.Copy !req
159. Well, who else is there?Copy !req
160. The Bird Brains.Copy !req
161. The Bird Brains— they're better
than those other bands.Copy !req
162. But they're just
a bunch of birds.Copy !req
163. Hello, Encino!Copy !req
164. Oh, Polly, that's the worst
sea chantey I've every heard.Copy !req
165. I certainly hope
it doesn't get any louder.Copy !req
166. Ooh.Copy !req
167. No, no!Copy !req
168. No!Copy !req
169. Stop the music!Copy !req
170. Stop!Copy !req
171. Look, boys, I know you
fellas sound real goodCopy !req
172. around the birdbath,
but this here is
basic cable.Copy !req
173. This is the big time.Copy !req
174. I'm afraid it's time for
you to walk the plank.Copy !req
175. You mean we're fired?Copy !req
176. No.Copy !req
177. Go on, start jumpingCopy !req
178. or you're going to be dealingCopy !req
179. with the business end
of me sword.Copy !req
180. No! I forgot that
you're birds.Copy !req
181. While Patchy pulls
himself together,Copy !req
182. let's see how SpongeBob's party
is shaping up.Copy !req
183. Okay, Gary, get ready,
it's almost 8:00.Copy !req
184. Here they come.Copy !req
185. Don't worry too much, Gary,
it's only ten seconds past 8:00.Copy !req
186. Now it's 20 seconds past 8:00.Copy !req
187. Maybe nobody got their
invitations.Copy !req
188. 30 seconds past 8:00.Copy !req
189. Oh, I'm doomed.Copy !req
190. No one's coming.Copy !req
191. I'm the worst host ever.Copy !req
192. Oh, the first guest,
and only 40 seconds late.Copy !req
193. Hi, SpongeBob.Copy !req
194. Welcome, Patrick.Copy !req
195. May I compliment you
on being fashionably late?Copy !req
196. Can I get you
a glass of punch?Copy !req
197. Sure.Copy !req
198. Did you have any trouble
finding the place?Copy !req
199. Here you are.Copy !req
200. Thanks.Copy !req
201. So is the punch okay?Copy !req
202. Not bad, not bad.Copy !req
203. Mmm, nice weather
we're having.Copy !req
204. It's been
very mild, yes.Copy !req
205. Yep.Copy !req
206. It's mild season.Copy !req
207. So, you read any...?Copy !req
208. Oh, more party guests.Copy !req
209. Welcome, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
210. Ahoy, SpongeBob.Copy !req
211. Please let Gary
take your coat.Copy !req
212. Then allow me to offer you
some hors d'oeuvresCopy !req
213. and a glass of punch.Copy !req
214. Don't mind if I do.Copy !req
215. Two down, 175 to go.Copy !req
216. Gosh, I almost forgot.Copy !req
217. These name tags eliminate the
need for awkward introductions.Copy !req
218. More guests.Copy !req
219. "Kcirtap si eman ym o-77-eh."Copy !req
220. I don't get it.Copy !req
221. No, you dumb bunny,
it says, "Hello,
my name is Patrick."Copy !req
222. Nice to meet you,
Patrick.Copy !req
223. Good one, Patrick.Copy !req
224. Yeah.Copy !req
225. What's going on here?Copy !req
226. The laughter isn't scheduled
until 9:03.Copy !req
227. You want to throw a party,
do it at your house, Patrick.Copy !req
228. Was he talking
to me or you?Copy !req
229. Squidward, you made it.Copy !req
230. My cable's out.Copy !req
231. Oh...Copy !req
232. Sorry to hear about that.Copy !req
233. So, uh, how's it going,
Squidward?Copy !req
234. Not bad.Copy !req
235. I have you making light
conversation with Mr. KrabsCopy !req
236. from 10:41 to 10:47.Copy !req
237. But if you've got a case
of the jabber-jaws,Copy !req
238. I can pair you up
right now with Scooter.Copy !req
239. Here are some topic cards
to break the ice.Copy !req
240. Someone's at the door.Copy !req
241. Mine says, "Which came first,
the oyster or the pearl?"Copy !req
242. You take the side of the pearl.Copy !req
243. This is lame.Copy !req
244. My card says, "Discuss
the philosophical nature
of irony."Copy !req
245. What does yours say?Copy !req
246. Nod politely.Copy !req
247. What does yours say,
Plankton?Copy !req
248. Oh, uh, yes, it says:Copy !req
249. "Discuss the secret ingredient
of the Krabby Patty formula."Copy !req
250. How interesting.Copy !req
251. Nice try, Plankton.Copy !req
252. Well, it's about time.Copy !req
253. Okay, everyone, the final guest
is about to arrive...Copy !req
254. 22 minutes late!Copy !req
255. Hey, hey.Copy !req
256. Attention, everyone!Copy !req
257. Attention, please!Copy !req
258. Now that we're all here,
I officially declareCopy !req
259. the party switch
to be in the "on" position.Copy !req
260. Whoopee.Copy !req
261. Hooray... all right... okay.Copy !req
262. As soon as I get back
from the coatroomCopy !req
263. we'll have a rundown of
tonight's scheduled events.Copy !req
264. Try not to have too much fun
without me.Copy !req
265. Seriously.Copy !req
266. That includes you folks.Copy !req
267. "SpongeBob's House Party"Copy !req
268. will be right back
after these messages.Copy !req
269. Ahoy, there!Copy !req
270. Welcome back to
"SpongeBob's House Party."Copy !req
271. Hey, Gar, got
another coat for you.Copy !req
272. The party's going
great, by the way.Copy !req
273. They're going to be
talking about this oneCopy !req
274. for a long, longtime.Copy !req
275. Well, back to "work."Copy !req
276. Okay, everybody, let's... huh?Copy !req
277. What's going on here?Copy !req
278. This is all wrong.Copy !req
279. What's happening to my party?Copy !req
280. No, no... no, no, no!Copy !req
281. Didn't you read the schedule?Copy !req
282. "10:00 p.m.:
Dance your pants off."Copy !req
283. 10:00 p.m.!Copy !req
284. Let's try to stick
to the schedule,
shall we?Copy !req
285. Cake will be eaten
at 8:52, everyone!Copy !req
286. 8:52!Copy !req
287. Hey, what's this?Copy !req
288. That's my breakfast.Copy !req
289. Could I have everyone's
attention, please?Copy !req
290. Patrick.Copy !req
291. If everyone could take a seatCopy !req
292. on the couch
while I sort this out.Copy !req
293. Thank you, thanks.Copy !req
294. Hey everybody,
thanks for your patience.Copy !req
295. I know we've gotten off
to a rocky start here,Copy !req
296. so I'm going to get us
back on track.Copy !req
297. It is now 8:37,
and we all know what that means.Copy !req
298. Time to read aloud
from the newspaper comics!Copy !req
299. Oh... sounds like a...
real thrill.Copy !req
300. Let's see, I think I'll start
out with "The Wisenheimers."Copy !req
301. Okay, panel one:Copy !req
302. we see Roxy Wisenheimer
with some sort of rake.Copy !req
303. Wait, I can't read from this!Copy !req
304. This is yesterday's paper!Copy !req
305. I'll just grab today's paper.Copy !req
306. SpongeBob, you sure know
how to throw a party.Copy !req
307. What would they do without me?Copy !req
308. Locked out?Copy !req
309. This song's
got a great beat!Copy !req
310. Yeah—
"knock, knock!"Copy !req
311. Gee, I wonderCopy !req
312. why they don't hear me.Copy !req
313. Oh, no!Copy !req
314. They're not using
the topic cards.Copy !req
315. They're... ad-libbing.Copy !req
316. Now they're mad at Patrick.Copy !req
317. He's hogging the deviled eggs.Copy !req
318. Oh, look at those poor souls.Copy !req
319. They're so bored
they've gone mad!Copy !req
320. Oh, no!Copy !req
321. The party's falling into chaosCopy !req
322. without my hosting talents
to guide it.Copy !req
323. So... do you
come here often?Copy !req
324. No.Copy !req
325. Hello, SquarePants residence.Copy !req
326. What?Copy !req
327. I am sorry, what?Copy !req
328. Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.Copy !req
329. You want to talk to SpongeBob?Copy !req
330. Yeah... no, Patrick,
I'mSpongeBob!Copy !req
331. I'm outside.Copy !req
332. Okay, hold on.Copy !req
333. SpongeBob, are you out here?Copy !req
334. Phone's for you.Copy !req
335. Wha... I...Copy !req
336. No, Patrick, wait!Copy !req
337. Sorry, he's not
out there.Copy !req
338. Hey, dude, if you're
looking for SpongeBobCopy !req
339. he's over
by the punchbowl.Copy !req
340. Thanks.Copy !req
341. Here you go,
SpongeBob,Copy !req
342. it's for you.Copy !req
343. Phone in punchbowl?Copy !req
344. That's not even on the schedule.Copy !req
345. Larry, my man, you are looking
good enough to eat.Copy !req
346. Mmm-mm, oh, yeah, baby.Copy !req
347. Could use a little
teeth-whitener, though.Copy !req
348. I'm sure SpongeBob won't mind.Copy !req
349. Hey, check out his crazy comb.Copy !req
350. Oh, no, sounds like someone'sCopy !req
351. rummaging through
my medicine cabinet.Copy !req
352. I hope they don't
touch my special comb.Copy !req
353. Well, I guess
I've aired it out enough.Copy !req
354. This party's finally
starting to pick up.Copy !req
355. I hope this doesn't interfereCopy !req
356. with finger-puppet theater
at 9:20.Copy !req
357. If I don't get back inside
and restore order,Copy !req
358. there might not be time
for any of the scheduled events.Copy !req
359. Gee, SpongeBob really
knows how to throw
a great party.Copy !req
360. Oh, yes.Copy !req
361. Everything is quite lovely.Copy !req
362. Ew!Copy !req
363. Although I don't care
for his taste in paintings.Copy !req
364. I don't even know
how that happened.Copy !req
365. Well, I guess I have no choice.Copy !req
366. I'm going to have to
tunnel back in.Copy !req
367. Okay, everybody, don't panic.Copy !req
368. The host has returned.Copy !req
369. Hop, hop, hop!Copy !req
370. I can take
losing the topic cardsCopy !req
371. and the phone in the punchbowl,Copy !req
372. but I was supposed to
lead the bunny hop.Copy !req
373. This is a bunch of barnacles!Copy !req
374. I'm breaking in!Copy !req
375. Well, well.Copy !req
376. What do we have here?Copy !req
377. A burglar bunny.Copy !req
378. Why do they
do it, O'Malley?Copy !req
379. I don't know.Copy !req
380. It's probably how
he gets his kicks.Copy !req
381. You criminals
make me sick.Copy !req
382. I'm no criminal.Copy !req
383. I live here.Copy !req
384. I... I'm just
throwing a party.Copy !req
385. I got locked out,
I swear.Copy !req
386. Well, why didn't you
say so?Copy !req
387. What a terrible
misunderstanding.Copy !req
388. You have a nice
party now, sir.Copy !req
389. Boy, for a second thereCopy !req
390. I thought I was
going to be arrestedCopy !req
391. for breaking into my own house.Copy !req
392. What an ironic twist
that would have been.Copy !req
393. Hey, wait a second.Copy !req
394. If you're
throwing a party...Copy !req
395. why weren't we invited?Copy !req
396. But I... you, uh...Copy !req
397. I didn't know you'd...Copy !req
398. Plan Your Own Party
didn't mention... the police.Copy !req
399. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
400. Okay, motor-mouth,
tell it to the judge.Copy !req
401. Oh, no.Copy !req
402. These cuffs are broken.Copy !req
403. Huh.Copy !req
404. We can't bring him in
in broken cuffs.Copy !req
405. I got an old pair in the car
we can use.Copy !req
406. Is it too late
to offer you some punch?Copy !req
407. Sir, you have the right
to remain silent.Copy !req
408. All night in a stony lonesome...
in a bunny outfit.Copy !req
409. Oh, yeah, the door's locked.Copy !req
410. Good thing I keep a spare key
under... the... mat!Copy !req
411. Oh, look at this place.Copy !req
412. This party
was a complete disaster.Copy !req
413. That was
the greatest partyCopy !req
414. any of us
have ever been to!Copy !req
415. It was?Copy !req
416. Oh, without a doubt,Copy !req
417. you are the best
party-thrower ever.Copy !req
418. I am?Copy !req
419. Yeah.Copy !req
420. Whatever you did,
you should write it downCopy !req
421. and do it again
next weekend.Copy !req
422. Thanks again, SpongeBob.Copy !req
423. See ya.Copy !req
424. SquarePants,Copy !req
425. you've done it again.Copy !req
426. I guess I know how
to throw a party.Copy !req
427. Gary!Copy !req
428. Well, it looks like
you had a good time.Copy !req
429. Good night, Gary.Copy !req
430. Whew, I'm glad to see old
SpongeBob's party worked out.Copy !req
431. Now I got to get
me own party going.Copy !req
432. Polly, are you ready
for some real music, huh?Copy !req
433. Okay, ready.Copy !req
434. It's time for
your flute solo.Copy !req
435. Thank you, Polly,
I almost forgot.Copy !req
436. Hey, wait a minute.Copy !req
437. I don't play a flute.Copy !req
438. I play a fife.Copy !req
439. Polly, no!Copy !req
440. Wow, I can't believe
I survived that one.Copy !req
441. Polly, help me!Copy !req
442. Ladies and gentlemen,
The Bird Brains!Copy !req
443. Aha!Copy !req
444. Great job, boys!Copy !req
445. Thanks for stopping by.Copy !req
446. Hey, don't let the porthole
hit you on the way out.Copy !req
447. And thank you for stopping by.Copy !req
448. You made this party
a real fun time.Copy !req
449. The ladies are here.Copy !req
450. Ooh.Copy !req
451. Ladies?Copy !req
452. Shiver me timbers.Copy !req
453. Welcome, girlies!Copy !req
454. Huh?Copy !req
455. No!Copy !req
456. Bye, folks.Copy !req
457. It's Polly you're after!Copy !req
458. Stop with the kissing!Copy !req
459. And thank you for comingCopy !req
460. to "SpongeBob's House Party."Copy !req
461. Belay the smooching!Copy !req
462. and NICKELODEONCopy !req