1. Are you ready, kids?
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2. Aye, aye, Captain!
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3. I can't hear you.
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4. Aye, aye, Captain!
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5. Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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6. and NICKELODEON
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7. Welcome to
"SpongeBob's House Party"
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8. with your host,
Patchy the Pirate.
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9. There'll be punch, cookies,
explosions
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10. and a brand-new episode
ofSpongeBob SquarePants.
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11. Hooray!
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12. Now, live from
Encino, California,
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13. get ready for a warm embrace
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14. from our party host,
Patchy the Pirate.
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15. Hey, get off my lawn!
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16. Party?
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17. Geez, there ain't no party here.
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18. Go away!
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19. Come on in.
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20. Hush, Polly,
can't you see
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21. I'm trying to keep
out the riffraff?
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22. Riffraff?
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23. That's our
television audience,
barnacle-breath.
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24. Oh.
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25. Of course, it is.
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26. I was just fooling.
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27. Welcome!
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28. Say, you didn't
bring SpongeBob
with you, did you?
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29. Gee, I sure hope he
got his invitation.
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30. I'd sure like to go
to this party,
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31. but I can't read
the invitation.
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32. Me, neither.
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33. Whoever sent this
obviously has no idea
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34. about the physical limitations
of life underwater.
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35. Well, might as well
throw these in the fire.
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36. Ah, well, come on in.
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37. Let me introduce
you around.
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38. This here's
Minnie Mermaid.
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39. Minnie's cooling off
on account of
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40. she's been dancing
her scales off.
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41. Isn't that right,
Minnie, huh?
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42. Take a little
breakie-poo?
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43. No, Patchy,
actually I'm in here
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44. because if I wasn't,
I would die.
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45. That's the spirit.
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46. Let's see, who else
haven't you met?
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47. Hey!
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48. That's Longbeard,
the Pirate.
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49. Hey there, Longbeard,
long time no see.
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50. Who dares to
interrupt Neptune?
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51. Sorry about that, Neppy.
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52. That's Neptune.
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53. He's king of the sea.
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54. You kids having fun?
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55. Hosting a party
is hard work, boy.
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56. That reminds me of the time when
SpongeBob was hosting a party.
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57. Hey, you kids want
to see that cartoon?
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58. You do?
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59. Well, then, launch the cartoon.
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60. Ah, the Barg'n Mart—
a consumer's paradise
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61. of brand-like items stocked
as far as the eye can see.
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62. Boom!
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63. 19 seconds!
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64. That's a new record, Lou.
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65. Uh, that's great, SpongeBob.
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66. $1.42.
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67. But it's not an official record
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68. until we record it
in the Book of Records.
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69. "19 seconds."
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70. Okay. So it's $1.42.
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71. Sign here, please.
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72. Initial here.
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73. And here.
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74. And... here.
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75. Oh, look, it's a picture
I took of you
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76. the first time I ever came here.
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77. Look at you,
so young and happy.
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78. Where do the years go?
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79. Hey, what's that?
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80. "Plan Your Own Party Kit."
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81. Hey, Lou, how much?
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82. For the Plan Your Own Party Kit?
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83. Oh, we're having a special
on those.
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84. Uh, they're free.
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85. But you have to leave...
right now.
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86. Let's see, Gary.
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87. According to the
Plan Your Own Party Kit,
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88. invitations are the first
order of business.
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89. "A short guest list
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90. "consisting of only
your closest acquaintances
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91. "will set an intimate tone
for the evening
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92. and provide soirée success."
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93. You heard the man, Gary:
only our closest friends.
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94. Who the barnacles
is SpongeBob SquarePants?
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95. I believe you went to
kindergarten with him, dear.
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96. Kindergarten, huh?
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97. Oh, yeah, SquarePants.
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98. Well, I guess it's time
to move again.
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99. Gary, this Plan Your Own Party
Kit is a real lifesaver.
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100. How else would I have known
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101. to make freshly whipped
clotted cream?
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102. Gary, you better call
an astronomer,
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103. because this clotted cream
is out of this world!
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104. My piñata.
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105. Ooh, hot, hot, hot,
hot, hot, hot, hot.
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106. The Plan Your Own Party Kit
encourages creativity
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107. when stuffing your piñata.
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108. That's why I'm using
deviled eggs.
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109. Good question, Gary,
but not to worry.
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110. The Plan Your Own Party Kit
warns that unsupervised parties
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111. can lead to disaster.
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112. That's why I've taken the
liberty of devising a schedule—
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113. 8:00 to 8:05, guests arrive;
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114. 8:05 to 8:15, opening remarks
and general discussion;
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115. 8:15 to 8:27, craft corner,
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116. followed by name tag
distribution.
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117. At 8:27 we begin
the qualifying rounds
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118. for our cracker-eating/
tongue-twister contest.
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119. 9:07, running charades;
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120. 9:38, charity apple-bob;
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121. 9:57, electric jitterbug
dance marathon—
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122. ladies' choice.
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123. At 10:09, things start cooking
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124. as I dip into my world famous
knock-knock joke vault.
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125. And as long as we stick
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126. to this schedule,
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127. our party is
a guaranteed success.
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128. This is going to be
the coolest party ever!
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129. Ha-ha!
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130. Looks like it's smooth party
sailing for SpongeBob so far.
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131. Now it's time for me
to get me own party underway.
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132. Gather round,
you scurvy landlubbers.
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133. It's time to learn the
Peg-legged Dance of Happiness.
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134. Whoa!
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135. It's quite simple really.
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136. All you need is a peg leg
and some patience,
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137. and my instructional video
series, only $29.95.
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138. How tacky!
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139. It's a $40 value,
Polly, a $40 value!
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140. Now, it's very easy
and loads of fun.
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141. Hey, everybody,
the band's here.
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142. Band? What band?
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143. The band I hired
for the party.
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144. A jolly idea, Polly!
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145. A little live music'll
get me shindig dug.
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146. Who'd you get, Barnacle Bill
and the Seven Seas?
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147. No.
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148. Seaweed Sally
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149. and her turtle?
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150. No.
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151. Oh, oh, I know—
The First Mates.
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152. No.
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153. Salt Water Sam,
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154. featuring
the Brine Brothers.
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155. No.
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156. Rusty Hinges
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157. and the Boys
from the Brig?
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158. They broke up
years ago.
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159. Well, who else is there?
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160. The Bird Brains.
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161. The Bird Brains— they're better
than those other bands.
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162. But they're just
a bunch of birds.
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163. Hello, Encino!
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164. Oh, Polly, that's the worst
sea chantey I've every heard.
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165. I certainly hope
it doesn't get any louder.
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166. Ooh.
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167. No, no!
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168. No!
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169. Stop the music!
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170. Stop!
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171. Look, boys, I know you
fellas sound real good
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172. around the birdbath,
but this here is
basic cable.
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173. This is the big time.
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174. I'm afraid it's time for
you to walk the plank.
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175. You mean we're fired?
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176. No.
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177. Go on, start jumping
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178. or you're going to be dealing
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179. with the business end
of me sword.
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180. No! I forgot that
you're birds.
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181. While Patchy pulls
himself together,
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182. let's see how SpongeBob's party
is shaping up.
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183. Okay, Gary, get ready,
it's almost 8:00.
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184. Here they come.
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185. Don't worry too much, Gary,
it's only ten seconds past 8:00.
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186. Now it's 20 seconds past 8:00.
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187. Maybe nobody got their
invitations.
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188. 30 seconds past 8:00.
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189. Oh, I'm doomed.
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190. No one's coming.
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191. I'm the worst host ever.
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192. Oh, the first guest,
and only 40 seconds late.
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193. Hi, SpongeBob.
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194. Welcome, Patrick.
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195. May I compliment you
on being fashionably late?
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196. Can I get you
a glass of punch?
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197. Sure.
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198. Did you have any trouble
finding the place?
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199. Here you are.
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200. Thanks.
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201. So is the punch okay?
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202. Not bad, not bad.
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203. Mmm, nice weather
we're having.
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204. It's been
very mild, yes.
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205. Yep.
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206. It's mild season.
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207. So, you read any...?
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208. Oh, more party guests.
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209. Welcome, Mr. Krabs.
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210. Ahoy, SpongeBob.
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211. Please let Gary
take your coat.
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212. Then allow me to offer you
some hors d'oeuvres
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213. and a glass of punch.
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214. Don't mind if I do.
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215. Two down, 175 to go.
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216. Gosh, I almost forgot.
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217. These name tags eliminate the
need for awkward introductions.
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218. More guests.
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219. "Kcirtap si eman ym o-77-eh."
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220. I don't get it.
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221. No, you dumb bunny,
it says, "Hello,
my name is Patrick."
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222. Nice to meet you,
Patrick.
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223. Good one, Patrick.
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224. Yeah.
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225. What's going on here?
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226. The laughter isn't scheduled
until 9:03.
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227. You want to throw a party,
do it at your house, Patrick.
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228. Was he talking
to me or you?
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229. Squidward, you made it.
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230. My cable's out.
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231. Oh...
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232. Sorry to hear about that.
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233. So, uh, how's it going,
Squidward?
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234. Not bad.
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235. I have you making light
conversation with Mr. Krabs
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236. from 10:41 to 10:47.
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237. But if you've got a case
of the jabber-jaws,
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238. I can pair you up
right now with Scooter.
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239. Here are some topic cards
to break the ice.
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240. Someone's at the door.
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241. Mine says, "Which came first,
the oyster or the pearl?"
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242. You take the side of the pearl.
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243. This is lame.
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244. My card says, "Discuss
the philosophical nature
of irony."
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245. What does yours say?
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246. Nod politely.
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247. What does yours say,
Plankton?
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248. Oh, uh, yes, it says:
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249. "Discuss the secret ingredient
of the Krabby Patty formula."
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250. How interesting.
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251. Nice try, Plankton.
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252. Well, it's about time.
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253. Okay, everyone, the final guest
is about to arrive...
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254. 22 minutes late!
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255. Hey, hey.
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256. Attention, everyone!
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257. Attention, please!
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258. Now that we're all here,
I officially declare
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259. the party switch
to be in the "on" position.
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260. Whoopee.
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261. Hooray... all right... okay.
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262. As soon as I get back
from the coatroom
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263. we'll have a rundown of
tonight's scheduled events.
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264. Try not to have too much fun
without me.
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265. Seriously.
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266. That includes you folks.
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267. "SpongeBob's House Party"
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268. will be right back
after these messages.
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269. Ahoy, there!
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270. Welcome back to
"SpongeBob's House Party."
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271. Hey, Gar, got
another coat for you.
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272. The party's going
great, by the way.
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273. They're going to be
talking about this one
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274. for a long, longtime.
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275. Well, back to "work."
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276. Okay, everybody, let's... huh?
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277. What's going on here?
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278. This is all wrong.
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279. What's happening to my party?
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280. No, no... no, no, no!
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281. Didn't you read the schedule?
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282. "10:00 p.m.:
Dance your pants off."
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283. 10:00 p.m.!
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284. Let's try to stick
to the schedule,
shall we?
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285. Cake will be eaten
at 8:52, everyone!
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286. 8:52!
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287. Hey, what's this?
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288. That's my breakfast.
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289. Could I have everyone's
attention, please?
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290. Patrick.
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291. If everyone could take a seat
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292. on the couch
while I sort this out.
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293. Thank you, thanks.
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294. Hey everybody,
thanks for your patience.
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295. I know we've gotten off
to a rocky start here,
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296. so I'm going to get us
back on track.
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297. It is now 8:37,
and we all know what that means.
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298. Time to read aloud
from the newspaper comics!
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299. Oh... sounds like a...
real thrill.
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300. Let's see, I think I'll start
out with "The Wisenheimers."
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301. Okay, panel one:
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302. we see Roxy Wisenheimer
with some sort of rake.
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303. Wait, I can't read from this!
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304. This is yesterday's paper!
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305. I'll just grab today's paper.
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306. SpongeBob, you sure know
how to throw a party.
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307. What would they do without me?
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308. Locked out?
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309. This song's
got a great beat!
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310. Yeah—
"knock, knock!"
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311. Gee, I wonder
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312. why they don't hear me.
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313. Oh, no!
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314. They're not using
the topic cards.
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315. They're... ad-libbing.
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316. Now they're mad at Patrick.
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317. He's hogging the deviled eggs.
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318. Oh, look at those poor souls.
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319. They're so bored
they've gone mad!
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320. Oh, no!
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321. The party's falling into chaos
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322. without my hosting talents
to guide it.
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323. So... do you
come here often?
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324. No.
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325. Hello, SquarePants residence.
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326. What?
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327. I am sorry, what?
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328. Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.
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329. You want to talk to SpongeBob?
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330. Yeah... no, Patrick,
I'mSpongeBob!
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331. I'm outside.
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332. Okay, hold on.
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333. SpongeBob, are you out here?
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334. Phone's for you.
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335. Wha... I...
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336. No, Patrick, wait!
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337. Sorry, he's not
out there.
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338. Hey, dude, if you're
looking for SpongeBob
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339. he's over
by the punchbowl.
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340. Thanks.
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341. Here you go,
SpongeBob,
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342. it's for you.
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343. Phone in punchbowl?
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344. That's not even on the schedule.
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345. Larry, my man, you are looking
good enough to eat.
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346. Mmm-mm, oh, yeah, baby.
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347. Could use a little
teeth-whitener, though.
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348. I'm sure SpongeBob won't mind.
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349. Hey, check out his crazy comb.
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350. Oh, no, sounds like someone's
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351. rummaging through
my medicine cabinet.
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352. I hope they don't
touch my special comb.
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353. Well, I guess
I've aired it out enough.
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354. This party's finally
starting to pick up.
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355. I hope this doesn't interfere
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356. with finger-puppet theater
at 9:20.
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357. If I don't get back inside
and restore order,
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358. there might not be time
for any of the scheduled events.
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359. Gee, SpongeBob really
knows how to throw
a great party.
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360. Oh, yes.
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361. Everything is quite lovely.
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362. Ew!
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363. Although I don't care
for his taste in paintings.
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364. I don't even know
how that happened.
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365. Well, I guess I have no choice.
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366. I'm going to have to
tunnel back in.
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367. Okay, everybody, don't panic.
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368. The host has returned.
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369. Hop, hop, hop!
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370. I can take
losing the topic cards
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371. and the phone in the punchbowl,
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372. but I was supposed to
lead the bunny hop.
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373. This is a bunch of barnacles!
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374. I'm breaking in!
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375. Well, well.
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376. What do we have here?
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377. A burglar bunny.
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378. Why do they
do it, O'Malley?
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379. I don't know.
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380. It's probably how
he gets his kicks.
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381. You criminals
make me sick.
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382. I'm no criminal.
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383. I live here.
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384. I... I'm just
throwing a party.
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385. I got locked out,
I swear.
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386. Well, why didn't you
say so?
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387. What a terrible
misunderstanding.
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388. You have a nice
party now, sir.
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389. Boy, for a second there
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390. I thought I was
going to be arrested
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391. for breaking into my own house.
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392. What an ironic twist
that would have been.
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393. Hey, wait a second.
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394. If you're
throwing a party...
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395. why weren't we invited?
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396. But I... you, uh...
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397. I didn't know you'd...
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398. Plan Your Own Party
didn't mention... the police.
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399. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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400. Okay, motor-mouth,
tell it to the judge.
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401. Oh, no.
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402. These cuffs are broken.
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403. Huh.
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404. We can't bring him in
in broken cuffs.
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405. I got an old pair in the car
we can use.
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406. Is it too late
to offer you some punch?
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407. Sir, you have the right
to remain silent.
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408. All night in a stony lonesome...
in a bunny outfit.
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409. Oh, yeah, the door's locked.
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410. Good thing I keep a spare key
under... the... mat!
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411. Oh, look at this place.
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412. This party
was a complete disaster.
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413. That was
the greatest party
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414. any of us
have ever been to!
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415. It was?
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416. Oh, without a doubt,
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417. you are the best
party-thrower ever.
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418. I am?
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419. Yeah.
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420. Whatever you did,
you should write it down
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421. and do it again
next weekend.
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422. Thanks again, SpongeBob.
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423. See ya.
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424. SquarePants,
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425. you've done it again.
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426. I guess I know how
to throw a party.
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427. Gary!
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428. Well, it looks like
you had a good time.
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429. Good night, Gary.
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430. Whew, I'm glad to see old
SpongeBob's party worked out.
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431. Now I got to get
me own party going.
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432. Polly, are you ready
for some real music, huh?
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433. Okay, ready.
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434. It's time for
your flute solo.
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435. Thank you, Polly,
I almost forgot.
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436. Hey, wait a minute.
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437. I don't play a flute.
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438. I play a fife.
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439. Polly, no!
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440. Wow, I can't believe
I survived that one.
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441. Polly, help me!
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442. Ladies and gentlemen,
The Bird Brains!
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443. Aha!
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444. Great job, boys!
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445. Thanks for stopping by.
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446. Hey, don't let the porthole
hit you on the way out.
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447. And thank you for stopping by.
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448. You made this party
a real fun time.
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449. The ladies are here.
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450. Ooh.
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451. Ladies?
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452. Shiver me timbers.
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453. Welcome, girlies!
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454. Huh?
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455. No!
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456. Bye, folks.
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457. It's Polly you're after!
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458. Stop with the kissing!
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459. And thank you for coming
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460. to "SpongeBob's House Party."
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461. Belay the smooching!
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462. and NICKELODEON
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