1. Are you ready, kids?Copy !req
2. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
3. I can't hear you.Copy !req
4. Aye, aye, Captain!Copy !req
5. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
6. and NICKELODEON]Copy !req
7. Ah, the Krusty KrabCopy !req
8. Bikini Bottom's premiere
daytime eateryCopy !req
9. where it'll be closing time
right... about...Copy !req
10. now!Copy !req
11. 8:00.Copy !req
12. So long, suckers!Copy !req
13. I've got a hot date
with a little ladyCopy !req
14. and her name is clarinet.Copy !req
15. What?Copy !req
16. Are you open?Copy !req
17. Read the sign.Copy !req
18. I'll have
a Krabby patty deluxeCopy !req
19. and a double
chili kelp fries.Copy !req
20. No, you won't.Copy !req
21. I can't hang out here all night.
I've got a life.Copy !req
22. Well, fine, if you
don't want my money.Copy !req
23. MR.
Money?Copy !req
24. You mean, if we
stayed open laterCopy !req
25. you'd give us
your money?Copy !req
26. Sure.Copy !req
27. Mr. Squidward,
welcome to the night shift.Copy !req
28. From now on, The Krusty Krab
is open 24 hours a day.Copy !req
29. What?Copy !req
30. Wow!Copy !req
31. Now we never have
to stop working.Copy !req
32. Mr. Krabs...Copy !req
33. See you in
the morning, boys.Copy !req
34. I can't hang out here
all night, I got a life.Copy !req
35. Mr. Krabs...Copy !req
36. Isn't this great,
Squidward?Copy !req
37. Just you and me together for
hours and hours and hours?Copy !req
38. And then the
sun'll come up?Copy !req
39. And it'll be tomorrow, and
we'll still be working.Copy !req
40. It'll be just like
a sleep-over!Copy !req
41. Only we'll be sweaty
and covered with grease!Copy !req
42. Are you ready to rock,
Squidward?Copy !req
43. No.Copy !req
44. Good, 'cause we've
got customers!Copy !req
45. Here; please hit me
as hard as you can.Copy !req
46. Psst. Squidward.Copy !req
47. I'm working in the kitchen...Copy !req
48. At night.Copy !req
49. Don't hold back.Copy !req
50. Hey, Squidward, guess what?Copy !req
51. I'm chopping lettuce...
at night.Copy !req
52. Look at me, I'm swabbing
the bathroom...Copy !req
53. at night.Copy !req
54. Ow! I burned my hand!Copy !req
55. At night.Copy !req
56. Night, night, night
nightCopy !req
57. night, night, night, nightCopy !req
58. night, night,
night, nightCopy !req
59. n-n-n-ight!Copy !req
60. Night!Copy !req
61. Will you, please?Copy !req
62. Here, give me a moment's peace
and take out the trash.Copy !req
63. All right.Copy !req
64. Taking out the trash.Copy !req
65. Taking out the trash, at n...Copy !req
66. You mean, outside?Copy !req
67. That's where
the dumpster is, yes.Copy !req
68. I don't know, Squidward,
it's kind of dark out there.Copy !req
69. But I thought you
likedthe night shift.Copy !req
70. You're right.Copy !req
71. For the The Krusty Krab!Copy !req
72. Piece of cake.Copy !req
73. So, you're not afraid?Copy !req
74. Pfft! Nah.Copy !req
75. Well, I am, especially after...Copy !req
76. Well, you know.Copy !req
77. What? What do I know?Copy !req
78. You don't remember?
It was all over the news.Copy !req
79. Tell me. Tell me.Copy !req
80. No, no, I probably shouldn't.Copy !req
81. It would ruin
the night shift for you.Copy !req
82. What happened?
What happened? What?Copy !req
83. You mean you've never
heard the story of the...Copy !req
84. "Hash-Slinging Slasher"?Copy !req
85. The Slash-Bringing Hasher?Copy !req
86. The Hash-Slinging Slasher.Copy !req
87. The Sash-Wringing...Copy !req
88. the Trash-Singing...
Mash-Flinging...Copy !req
89. The Flash-Springing...
Wringing...Copy !req
90. the-the CrashCopy !req
91. Dinging... uh...Copy !req
92. Yes, the Hash-Slinging Slasher.Copy !req
93. But...Copy !req
94. Most people just
call him the Ha...Copy !req
95. Because that's all
they have time to sayCopy !req
96. before he...Copy !req
97. Gets them!Copy !req
98. Tell me the story!Copy !req
99. Years ago,
at this very restaurantCopy !req
100. the Hash-Slinging Slasher
used to be a fry cookCopy !req
101. just... like...Copy !req
102. you.Copy !req
103. Only clumsier.Copy !req
104. And then one nightCopy !req
105. when he was
cuttingthe pattiesCopy !req
106. it happened.Copy !req
107. He forgot the
secret sauce? No.Copy !req
108. He didn't wash
his hands? No.Copy !req
109. Irregular
portions? No!Copy !req
110. He cut off
his own hand by mistake.Copy !req
111. You mean like this?Copy !req
112. Or like this? Or this?Copy !req
113. Or this?Copy !req
114. But what about this?
Or this? Or this?Copy !req
115. Or this? Or...Copy !req
116. Except he wasn't a sponge.Copy !req
117. So?Copy !req
118. So it didn't grow back!Copy !req
119. And he replaced his hand
with a rusty spatula.Copy !req
120. And then
he got hit by a bus!Copy !req
121. And at his funeralCopy !req
122. they fired him!Copy !req
123. So now, every...
what day is it?Copy !req
124. Tuesday.Copy !req
125. Tuesday night, his ghost
returns to The Krusty KrabCopy !req
126. to wreak his horrible vengeance.Copy !req
127. But tonight's Tuesday night.Copy !req
128. Then he'll be coming.Copy !req
129. How will we know?Copy !req
130. There are three signs
that signal the approachCopy !req
131. of the Hash-Slinging Slasher.Copy !req
132. First, the lights
will flicker on and off...Copy !req
133. Next...Copy !req
134. Dude, can I have
some ketchup?Copy !req
135. Oh. Here you go.Copy !req
136. Next...Copy !req
137. the phone will ring, and
there will be nobody there.Copy !req
138. And finally,
the Hash-Slinging SlasherCopy !req
139. arrives in the ghost of the bus
that ran him over!Copy !req
140. Then, he exits the bus
and crosses the streetCopy !req
141. without
looking both waysCopy !req
142. because he's already dead.Copy !req
143. Then, he taps
on the windowCopy !req
144. with his grizzly spatula hand.Copy !req
145. No! He opens the door...Copy !req
146. He slowlyCopy !req
147. approaches the...Copy !req
148. counter!Copy !req
149. And you know what he does next?Copy !req
150. What?Copy !req
151. You really want to know?Copy !req
152. What?Copy !req
153. Are you sureyou want to know?Copy !req
154. What, what, what does he do?Copy !req
155. He gets you!Copy !req
156. He get...Copy !req
157. Whoo, hoo...Copy !req
158. Oh, my...Copy !req
159. Spongebob, I...Copy !req
160. Spongebob, I was...Copy !req
161. I was just...Copy !req
162. I was just...Copy !req
163. Spongebob, I was joking!Copy !req
164. What?Copy !req
165. It's not true,
none of it's true.Copy !req
166. It's not?Copy !req
167. Of course not.Copy !req
168. Nobody has a spatula
for a hand.Copy !req
169. It was all a joke.Copy !req
170. Oh.Copy !req
171. Isn't this great,
Squidward?Copy !req
172. There's never time to wash
the ceiling during the day.Copy !req
173. Open 24 hours a day.Copy !req
174. What a stupid idea.Copy !req
175. Who wants a crabby patty
at 3:00 in the morning?Copy !req
176. Oh, boy, 3:00 a.m.!Copy !req
177. Just look at this place.Copy !req
178. It's like a ghost town in here.Copy !req
179. Veryfunny, Spongebob.Copy !req
180. What?Copy !req
181. "And the lights will flicker
on and off... "Copy !req
182. Just like the story, I get it.Copy !req
183. Hey, SquidwardCopy !req
184. how are you doing that
without moving the switch?Copy !req
185. I'm not doing it.Copy !req
186. It must be the stupid
faulty wiring in here.Copy !req
187. This place isn't built to run
24 hours a day.Copy !req
188. What, what? Hello?Copy !req
189. Hello?Copy !req
190. Hello?Copy !req
191. Nice try, Squidward.Copy !req
192. Nice try, what?Copy !req
193. "The phone will ring and
there will be no one there!"Copy !req
194. Oh, you crack me up.Copy !req
195. Spongebob, I'm not doing this.Copy !req
196. Oh, calm down, calm down.Copy !req
197. All right, what was it?Copy !req
198. There was... the lightsCopy !req
199. and the phone.Copy !req
200. And the walls
will ooze green slime!Copy !req
201. Oh, wait.Copy !req
202. They always do that.Copy !req
203. But what was that third thing?Copy !req
204. I didn't know the
buses ran this late.Copy !req
205. They don't.Copy !req
206. Well, they're dropping
someone off.Copy !req
207. The Sash-Wringing...Copy !req
208. the-the Flash-Singing...Copy !req
209. the Fash... P-pinging...Copy !req
210. The Hash-Slinging Slasher!Copy !req
211. Oh...Copy !req
212. At last, you understand;
we're doomed.Copy !req
213. No, that's not it.Copy !req
214. I am just so touchedCopy !req
215. that you would
go to the troubleCopy !req
216. to dress up as a
ghostly fry cookCopy !req
217. and stand on the other
side of the streetCopy !req
218. just to entertain me.Copy !req
219. You must really like me!Copy !req
220. SpongebobCopy !req
221. there are two problems
with your theory.Copy !req
222. I hate you.Copy !req
223. And two:Copy !req
224. How can that be me, when I'm
standing right here?Copy !req
225. The Hash-Slinging Slasher!Copy !req
226. Aah! He's going
to flip me!Copy !req
227. Get away, get away!Copy !req
228. Spongebob, no matterCopy !req
229. what I've saidCopy !req
230. I've always sort
of liked you!Copy !req
231. Squidward, I used
your clarinet to
unclog my toilet!Copy !req
232. Huh?Copy !req
233. Get away, get away!Copy !req
234. You're not
welcome here!Copy !req
235. Can I have a job application?Copy !req
236. I brought my own spatula.Copy !req
237. I called earlier, but I hung up
'cause I was nervous.Copy !req
238. Do you have
references?Copy !req
239. Wait, if that was you on
the phone and you on the busCopy !req
240. then who was
flickering the lights?Copy !req
241. Nosferatu!Copy !req
242. What's that smell?Copy !req
243. The register?Copy !req
244. Forty-nine, oh...Copy !req
245. eight?Copy !req
246. That's a penny short!Copy !req
247. Oh, no.Copy !req
248. Not a penny.Copy !req
249. Help! Somebody, help us.Copy !req
250. It's just a
penny, sir.Copy !req
251. It doesn't
matter.Copy !req
252. Doesn't matter?Copy !req
253. It's money that makes
the world go round, boy.Copy !req
254. It's moneyCopy !req
255. that keeps your pants square.Copy !req
256. It's money that keeps Squidward
in frilly soap.Copy !req
257. Lilac!Copy !req
258. It's money that paid
for all them renovations we did.Copy !req
259. Oh, nothingCopy !req
260. in all the seven seas could
matter more.Copy !req
261. Not even that...Copy !req
262. Hmm?Copy !req
263. scrumptious, curvy cutie.Copy !req
264. I see her, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
265. A crabby patty with cheese.Copy !req
266. The classic.Copy !req
267. Not the sandwich, boy.Copy !req
268. The curvy cutie
holdingthe sandwich.Copy !req
269. Hey!Copy !req
270. That's my driving
teacher, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
271. Mrs. Puff?Copy !req
272. Aw, she's married.Copy !req
273. Oh, no, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
274. She's single.Copy !req
275. Then what happened
to Mr. Puff?Copy !req
276. She doesn't like
to talk about it.Copy !req
277. Oh, what I wouldn't giveCopy !req
278. to have a lass like that
on me claw.Copy !req
279. Hey, I know!Copy !req
280. Why don't I take
you over and
introduce you?Copy !req
281. No, no, no,
I'm-I'm too old, boy.Copy !req
282. Too hard-shelled for love.Copy !req
283. Besides,
I ain't properly dressed.Copy !req
284. Aw...Copy !req
285. come on, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
286. You look great.Copy !req
287. You wait here while
I go break the ice.Copy !req
288. Spongebob, no, wait!Copy !req
289. I'm too nervous!Copy !req
290. Ooh!Copy !req
291. Hi, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
292. Ahh!Copy !req
293. Hit the brakes, Spongebob.Copy !req
294. Watch the tree!Copy !req
295. Wait, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
296. We're not driving.Copy !req
297. Oh, I'm sorry, Spongebob.Copy !req
298. I didn't expect
to see you here.Copy !req
299. I work here,
Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
300. Want to meet
my boss?Copy !req
301. Well, I'm not...Copy !req
302. Don't move.Copy !req
303. Oh!Copy !req
304. Mrs. Puff, I'd like
to introduce you to Mr...Copy !req
305. Mrs. Puff, I'd like
to introduce youCopy !req
306. to my boss, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
307. Uh... hello.Copy !req
308. Psst! Mr. Krabs,
say hello.Copy !req
309. No, no, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
310. Just say hello.Copy !req
311. Hmm, perhaps another time
would be...Copy !req
312. No!Copy !req
313. Wait. He's
trying to tell
you something.Copy !req
314. Mr. Krabs...Copy !req
315. I don't understand.Copy !req
316. Oh!Copy !req
317. I think Mr.
Krabs is sayingCopy !req
318. that he'd like to...Copy !req
319. hit you with a rake.Copy !req
320. Goodness!Copy !req
321. No!Copy !req
322. Try to guess
your weight.Copy !req
323. Well!Copy !req
324. No, wait.Copy !req
325. He wants to take you...Copy !req
326. on a date!Copy !req
327. Uh!Copy !req
328. Is that true, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
329. Do you want to take me
on a date?Copy !req
330. Aye.Copy !req
331. What do you say?Copy !req
332. What do I say?Copy !req
333. I say, you have a way
with words, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
334. I still got it.Copy !req
335. Ready for your
date, Mr. Krabs?Copy !req
336. I'm always ready when
it comes to dating, lad.Copy !req
337. Breath spray?Copy !req
338. Check.Copy !req
339. Lucky hanky?Copy !req
340. Check.Copy !req
341. Giant rusty anchor?Copy !req
342. Uh, anchor. Anchor?Copy !req
343. I can't find me giant
rusty anchor!Copy !req
344. Ahh!Copy !req
345. Relax, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
346. Just a little joke.Copy !req
347. Good luck with you-know-who.Copy !req
348. Who's that?Copy !req
349. Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
350. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
351. Well, wish me luck, lad.Copy !req
352. MRS.
Oh, Mr. Krabs!Copy !req
353. This dinner has been
so wonderful!Copy !req
354. The coral was cooked
to perfection.Copy !req
355. I don't think
I could eat another bite.Copy !req
356. Oh, I doubt that, my
little shrimp boat.Copy !req
357. You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
358. I meanCopy !req
359. foot rubs between courses.Copy !req
360. Caricatures.Copy !req
361. Imported music.Copy !req
362. Nothing's too good for you,
my prickly peach.Copy !req
363. Oh, what I'm trying to tell you,
Mr. Krabs is...Copy !req
364. Uh, sir, your fancy pantsy
limousine is here.Copy !req
365. Wonderful!Copy !req
366. Puffily-poo, your
chariot awaits!Copy !req
367. Well...Copy !req
368. Ahh!Copy !req
369. You'll never have to walk again,
my little lobster bib.Copy !req
370. Aye.Copy !req
371. Your bill, sir.Copy !req
372. What?Copy !req
373. One hundred dollars!Copy !req
374. Well, this can't
possibly be correct.Copy !req
375. Oh, my mistake, sir.Copy !req
376. Thank you for pointing that out.Copy !req
377. Thisis your bill.Copy !req
378. I don't understand,
Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
379. How can you spend
$100,000 in one night?Copy !req
380. Oh, SpongebobCopy !req
381. I couldn't help but spend
every cent I had on her!Copy !req
382. I couldn't control myself!Copy !req
383. What are you going to do?Copy !req
384. I don't know, boy.Copy !req
385. I've got another date tomorrow.Copy !req
386. I'm caught in the middle
of me two great loves—Copy !req
387. sweet Mrs. Puff
and the rest of me money.Copy !req
388. I wish there was some way
I could help.Copy !req
389. Perhaps there is, boy.Copy !req
390. I'm putting youin charge
of me money.Copy !req
391. I don't get it, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
392. You come with me
on the dateCopy !req
393. and don't let me spend
any money.Copy !req
394. Now remember, we keep it cheap
by going to the park.Copy !req
395. And no matter how much
I ask youCopy !req
396. you don't give me
anyof me money.Copy !req
397. Now give me a dollar.Copy !req
398. Nope.Copy !req
399. Good boy!Copy !req
400. You'll do fine.Copy !req
401. Who is it?Copy !req
402. It's me, my
beautiful bell buoy!Copy !req
403. Just a minute.Copy !req
404. Flowers!Copy !req
405. Flowers, boy!Copy !req
406. Go get flowers!Copy !req
407. But you said...Copy !req
408. Spongebob, you can't callCopy !req
409. on a classy lady
like Mrs. Puff empty-handed.Copy !req
410. We ain't talking
about this... or this.Copy !req
411. We're talking
about this.Copy !req
412. Almost ready.Copy !req
413. Hurry, boy, get
the flowers!Copy !req
414. Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
415. You're as beautiful
as ever.Copy !req
416. That's funny.Copy !req
417. I thought I heard
Spongebob's voice.Copy !req
418. Uh... you did.Copy !req
419. He'll be right back.Copy !req
420. He's our personal assistant
for the day.Copy !req
421. Oh.Copy !req
422. Excuse me.Copy !req
423. I have to call
my insurance agent.Copy !req
424. My beautiful Puff.Copy !req
425. Mrs. Krabs...Copy !req
426. I got the flowers
you wanted.Copy !req
427. What's that?I got the flowers
for Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
428. We had an agreement, boy.Copy !req
429. You ain't supposed to spend
any of me money.Copy !req
430. But you said...Copy !req
431. MRS.
♪ Here I come!Copy !req
432. For you, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
433. Oh, flowers.Copy !req
434. Oh, how thoughtful!Copy !req
435. And here's a box of chocolates.Copy !req
436. Spongebob, where's
the chocolates?Copy !req
437. Mr. Krabs, the budget
doesn't allow for...Copy !req
438. Spongebob, you can't go
to Mrs. Puff's houseCopy !req
439. without chocolates.Copy !req
440. Hurry, hurry!Copy !req
441. I bought the biggest box
they had.Copy !req
442. Buy, buy, buy.Copy !req
443. Spend, spend, spend.Copy !req
444. Is that all you
can think about?Copy !req
445. Oh, Eugene!Copy !req
446. Here's those chocolates
I bought for you.Copy !req
447. What are we doing today,
Mrs. Puff?Copy !req
448. Dinner? Dancing?Copy !req
449. A trip to the moon?Copy !req
450. Psst! Mr. Krabs...Copy !req
451. we're just going for a walk
in the park, remember?Copy !req
452. Actually, a
walk in the park
sounds perfect.Copy !req
453. It's a beautiful day.Copy !req
454. I'll just need
to get a sun hat and...Copy !req
455. Mrs. Puff needs a
sun hat, Spongebob.Copy !req
456. Oh, I think she...Copy !req
457. The sun is beating
down on poor Mrs.
Puff's head.Copy !req
458. As your financial advisor,
I suggest...Copy !req
459. There's not time
for suggestions.Copy !req
460. Go buy a hat!Copy !req
461. But... Today!Copy !req
462. Don't worry, Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
463. I'll shade you.Copy !req
464. Spongebob, hurry!Copy !req
465. One shady hat.Copy !req
466. Good job, that.Copy !req
467. Oh, well... thank youCopy !req
468. but you didn't need
to buy one.Copy !req
469. I have a hat in the closet.Copy !req
470. Didn't need
to buy one!Copy !req
471. You hear that, boy?Copy !req
472. We didn't need
to buy a hat.Copy !req
473. Aren't you supposed
to be saving me money?Copy !req
474. I'm trying, Mr. KrabsCopy !req
475. but you keep telling me
to buy things for Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
476. It's all really confusing.Copy !req
477. Spongebob, I'm sorry.Copy !req
478. This is my fault.Copy !req
479. I'm not thinking
clearly.Copy !req
480. I'm making a sailor's promise,
boy.Copy !req
481. From this moment onCopy !req
482. I won't ask you to buy anything
for Mrs. Puff.Copy !req
483. Spongebob, Mrs. Puff needs
a new fur coat!Copy !req
484. You're spending all me money!Copy !req
485. Puffy needs a new pair of shoes.Copy !req
486. You're breaking me, boy!Copy !req
487. She needs fine jewelry!Copy !req
488. Not that fine!Copy !req
489. Spongebob!Copy !req
490. Spongebob!Copy !req
491. Spongebob!Copy !req
492. Spongebob!Copy !req
493. Spongebob!Copy !req
494. Spongebob!Copy !req
495. Spongebob! Spongebob...Copy !req
496. Spongebob, I'm glad
I caught you.Copy !req
497. I want you to
buy Mrs. Puff...Copy !req
498. Wait!Copy !req
499. Don'ttell me!Copy !req
500. You want me to run down
to the storeCopy !req
501. and buy Mrs. Puff something
she doesn't need.Copy !req
502. Then you want me
to run back hereCopy !req
503. so you can say,
"Aye, Spongebob.Copy !req
504. You're spending all me money."Copy !req
505. And then I'll sayCopy !req
506. "But Mr. Krabs,
I'm only doing what you said!"Copy !req
507. Then you'll sayCopy !req
508. "We're not talking
about this or this.Copy !req
509. We're talking about this!"Copy !req
510. But lad, this
time's different.Copy !req
511. Mrs. Puff
needsthis.Copy !req
512. Are we going to the park soon?Copy !req
513. Please, lad?Copy !req
514. I'm begging you.Copy !req
515. I'm a lonely old
crustaceanCopy !req
516. who's found love.Copy !req
517. Don't let me
lose her.Copy !req
518. Mr. Krabs, don't.Copy !req
519. Don't cry, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
520. Come on.Copy !req
521. Okay, I'm going to get it, see?Copy !req
522. Cheer up, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
523. Here's that washing machine
you wanted.Copy !req
524. Cheer up?Copy !req
525. How can I cheer up...Copy !req
526. when you're spending all
me hard-earned cash?Copy !req
527. See? You just did it again!Copy !req
528. Lad, I can't help itCopy !req
529. if you're loose with
other people's money.Copy !req
530. Do you think Mrs. Puff
will need a dryerCopy !req
531. to go along with that?Copy !req
532. Well, Mr. KrabsCopy !req
533. do you want to know
what I think?Copy !req
534. Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
535. Oh.Copy !req
536. Mr. Krabs' wallet.Copy !req
537. I didn't know
Spongebob had such
a colorful vocabulary.Copy !req
538. Actually, there's
something I'd like to
say, too, Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
539. I'm afraid I
just don't feel
comfortableCopy !req
540. accepting all
these gifts.Copy !req
541. I'd rather go dutch.Copy !req
542. If you don't mind.Copy !req
543. Okay.Copy !req
544. You're a very sweet man,
Mr. Krabs.Copy !req
545. Oh!Copy !req
546. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATIONCopy !req
547. and NICKELODEONCopy !req
548. Captioned by
The Caption Center
Educational Foundation]Copy !req