1. Are you ready, kids?
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2. Aye, aye, Captain!
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3. I can't hear you.
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4. Aye, aye, Captain!
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5. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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6. and NICKELODEON]
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7. Patrick?
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8. Patrick?
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9. Oh, Patrick!
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10. Are you ready to
go jelly fishing?
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11. Oh, boy, am I!
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12. Here's your net.
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13. Well, come on,
Patrick.
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14. The jellyfish don't
catch themselves.
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15. First, I have to put away
my secret box.
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16. Secret box?
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17. You never told me
about your...
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18. secret box.
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19. Hey! Hands off,
Peeping Bob.
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20. This here's mysecret box.
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21. Besides, if I showed you
what was inside
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22. it wouldn't be
a secret anymore.
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23. Duh!
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24. Oh, Spongebob!
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25. If only you could see
inside my secret box
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26. it would change
your life.
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27. It's okay, Patrick,
I know all about secrets.
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28. You do?
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29. I've got
a gazillion secrets.
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30. Like what?
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31. Well, it's no secret that
the best thing about a secret
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32. is secretly telling someone
your secret
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33. thereby secretly adding
another secret
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34. to their secret collection
of secrets... secretly.
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35. You want to hear
one of my secrets? Do I?
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36. Uh... let's see.
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37. Did you know
you're my best friend?
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38. No... way.
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39. Oh, let's hear another one!
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40. Okay. Uh... secretly,
I'm a little bit naive.
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41. Wow!
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42. I'll never look at you
the same way again, Spongebob.
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43. Gosh!
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44. Tell me some more secrets!
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45. Okay...
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46. I love my job
at The Krusty Krab.
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47. I sleep with my shoes on.
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48. I like jelly
on both sides of my toast.
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49. I've got
an overdue library book.
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50. overbite.
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51. I've never been late for work.
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52. I've said the word "fancy"
in conversation.
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53. I still don't have
my driver's license.
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54. I'm a little
on the short side.
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55. I'm wearing three pairs
of underwear now.
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56. Gasp!
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57. I never would have guessed.
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58. Now will you show me
what's inside your secret box?
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59. No, Spongebob!
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60. It's for me to know,
and for you to neverfind out!
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61. You may be an open
book, Spongebob
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62. but I'm a bit more
complicated than that.
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63. The inner machinations
of my mind are an enigma.
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64. Oh, yeah? Well, I got
plenty of secret stuff, too!
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65. Uh...
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66. I've got my secret socks on.
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67. And my secret Gary's bowl.
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68. My secret TV
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69. and my secret TV channel.
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70. What do you think of that,
Patrick?
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71. Patrick?
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72. Whew!
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73. Oh, whew!
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74. Maybe if you saw
what was inside
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75. you'd know why it
has to be secret.
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76. Inside this very box is
the most secrety secret
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77. in all of Secretdom,
and I am its sole witness!
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78. It's a heavy burden,
Spongebob
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79. but nobody must know
the mystery of the box.
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80. Nobody!
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81. Not even...
Squidward's house.
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82. It's a full-time job.
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83. I'm constantly on the alert.
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84. You never know
when someone's going to...
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85. Spongebob, what do you
think you're doing?
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86. That's my secret box!
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87. Now hand it over!
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88. But, Patrick,
I must know the secret.
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89. For the last time,
Spongebob, no!
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90. Come on, just a peek.
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91. Never!
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92. So, it's come to this.
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93. And to think we joined
the Best Friends Forever Club!
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94. Listen up, Spongebob
"Secret Stealer" Pants!
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95. If you evercome near
my secret box again
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96. we won't be friends anymore!
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97. But... we're supposed to be...
friends forever.
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98. I feel so filthy.
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99. I have soiled
our friendship garden.
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100. I just couldn't help myself.
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101. I know it's your secret.
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102. I promise to respect that.
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103. Oh, please forgive me,
Patrick, please!
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104. Well...
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105. I guess it's not
all your fault.
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106. After all, this is
a pretty great secret.
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107. I mean, how could you resist
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108. the greatest secret ever?
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109. The most amazing...
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110. mysterious...
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111. powerful secret in
all of Bikini Bottom?
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112. So, what do you say, buddy?
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113. Friends?
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114. Friends.
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115. What could be in that box
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116. that Patrick
doesn't wantme to see?
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117. Maybe it's the world's
only albino jellyfish
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118. or maybe Patrick's
a master jewel thief
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119. and it's full of diamonds.
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120. Or maybe Patrick's
a deranged maniac
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121. who keeps his victims'
severed heads in a box.
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122. Or even worse
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123. maybe it's
an embarrassing snapshot of me
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124. from a Christmas party.
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125. I got to find out
what's in that secret box.
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126. I'm not going to
rest till I do!
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127. That's it.
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128. How do you look
into a secret box?
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129. Secretly, of course.
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130. I'll just take the box
while Patrick's sleeping
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131. look inside
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132. and before Patrick
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133. even has time to notice
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134. I'll slide it back.
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135. Patrick won't know
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136. and I'll have
my own little secret.
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137. Good idea, eh, Gary?
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138. Mmm... No.
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139. Oh, what do you know?
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140. You're a snail.
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141. Snizzlefrazzy!
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142. Who's it?
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143. Se-e-ecret.
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144. I got to be more quiet.
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145. I don't want to wake Patrick up.
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146. Duh! Who's there?
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147. Who's... Who's...
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148. Oh...
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149. Shh!
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150. Hey!
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151. Oh...
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152. Mmm... water.
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153. Good old secret box.
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154. Let's see what's inside.
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155. Nighty-night, boxie.
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156. Gee, Patrick sure is
a heavy sleeper.
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157. Huh? Who said that?
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158. Who's there?
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159. Uh...
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160. It's the clam burglar!
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161. And he's stealing my secret box!
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162. Hand over the goods,
secret-box bandit
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163. and prepare for
the most unpleasant
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164. pillow fight of your life!
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165. Wait, wait, wait, Patrick. Stop!
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166. It's me, Spongebob!
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167. Nice try, burglar.
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168. But Spongebob's my best friend
and he'd never steal from me.
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169. No, really, Patrick.
Look.
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170. Our friendship ring.
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171. It isyou!
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172. How could you do this?
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173. If it makes you
feel any better
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174. I haven't looked inside.
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175. That's it, Spongebob.
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176. You have crossed the line.
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177. As of right now, this
friendship is over!
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178. Really?
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179. Nah, you can look inside
if you really want to.
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180. Okay!
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181. Oh, this is one of the most
exciting moments of my life.
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182. Well, here it goes.
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183. Huh?
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184. Well? Didn't I tell you?
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185. Isn't it great?
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186. It's just a string.
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187. A secret string!
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188. Boy, when you're right,
you're right.
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189. That's some secret box
you got there.
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190. Yeah. Thanks
for showing me that.
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191. Well, good night, Patrick.
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192. See you tomorrow.
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193. Good night, Spongebob.
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194. I should have known.
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195. It was just
a piece of string all along.
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196. Wait till I tell Gary.
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197. Good thing he didn't pull
the secret string
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198. opening the secret compartment
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199. of my secret box
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200. revealing one embarrassing
snapshot of Spongebob
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201. at that Christmas party.
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202. Merry Christmas, Spongebob!
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203. Yeah, uh, we're with
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204. the pet hospital
down the street
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205. and I understand
you have
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206. a dying animal
on the premises.
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207. Hello.
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208. You've reached The House
of Unrecognized Talent.
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209. Please start after the...
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210. Sounds as though
you've got a dying animal
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211. to attend to,
eh, old chum?
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212. Squilliam Fancyson
from band class?
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213. I hear you're playing
the cashregister now.
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214. Well, sometimes.
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215. Uh, how's the unibrow?
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216. It's big and valuable.
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217. I'm the leader of
a big fancy band now
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218. and we're supposed to play
the Bubble Bowl next week.
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219. The Bu-Bu-Bu... the Bu-Bu-Bu...
the Bu-Bu-Bu...?
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220. That's right.
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221. I'm living your dreams,
Squidward.
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222. The problem is, I'm busy
next week and can't make it.
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223. So, I was hoping you and your
band could cover for us.
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224. Oh, uh... I-I-I-I'd, uh...
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225. I knew it!
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226. You don't even
have a band.
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227. Well, I'll just
let you get back
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228. to the service
industry now.
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229. Hold it!
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230. It just so happens that
I don't sell fast food
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231. I do have a band
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232. and we're going to play
that Bubble Bowl.
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233. How do you like that, Fancyboy?
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234. Good luck next Tuesday.
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235. I hope the audience brings
lots of ibuprofen.
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236. I've got to drum up
a marching band fast.
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237. Drum.
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238. Band humor.
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239. "Looking to add fulfillment
to your dull, dull life?"
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240. "Then become part of
the greatest musical sensation
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241. ever to hit Bikini Bottom."
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242. "And be forever adored
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243. by thousands of people
you don't know."
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244. "Not to mention
free refreshments."
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245. "Practice begins tonight,
8:30 sharp."
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246. Stupid music rental clerk
made me late.
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247. That trilobite didn't know
an oboe from an elbow.
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248. Hmm, elbow, hmm.
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249. More band humor.
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250. People, people!
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251. Settle down.
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252. Okay, now.
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253. How many of you have played
musical instruments before?
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254. Do instruments of torture count?
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255. No.
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256. Is mayonnaise an instrument?
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257. No, Patrick, mayonnaise
is not an instrument.
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258. Horseradish is not
an instrument either.
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259. That's fine, no one
has any experience.
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260. Fortunately, I have enough
talent for all of you.
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261. All of you.
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262. When do we get
the free food?
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263. Okay, try to repeat after me.
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264. Brass section, go.
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265. Good. Now the wind.
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266. And the drums.
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267. Too bad that didn't kill me.
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268. Let's just try stepping
in rhythm.
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269. Now, I want everyone to stand
in straight rows of five.
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270. Is this the part
where we start kicking?
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271. No, Spongebob,
that's a chorus line.
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272. Kicking?
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273. Oh, I want to do
some kicking!
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274. Why, you...!
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275. Why, I ought to...!
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276. Whoever's the owner
of the white sedan
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277. you left your lights on.
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278. Okay, that's
perfect, everybody.
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279. Bubble Bowl, here we come.
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280. Flag twirlers, really
spin those things.
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281. Okay, turn.
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282. Flag twirlers, let's go.
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283. I want to see
some spinning.
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284. Flag twirlers, let's move!
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285. Come on!
Move!
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286. How's that harmonica solo
coming, Plankton?
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287. It's tremendous.
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288. You want to see?
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289. Well, this is our last night
together before the show.
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290. And I know that you haven't
improved since we began.
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291. But I have a theory.
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292. People talk loud when they
want to act smart, right?
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293. Correct!
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294. So if we play loud,
people might think we're good.
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295. Everybody ready?
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296. And a-one and a-two
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297. and a-one, two, three, four!
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298. Okay, new theory.
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299. Maybe we should play so quietly,
no one can hear us.
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300. Well, maybe we
wouldn't sound so bad
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301. if some people
didn't try to play
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302. with big, meaty claws.
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303. What did you say, punk?
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304. Big... meaty... claws!
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305. Well, these claws ain't
for just attracting mates.
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306. Bring it on, old man!
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307. Bring it on!
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308. No, people.
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309. Let's be smart and bring it off.
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310. Oh, so now the
talking cheese is
going to preach to us.
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311. Wait, wait!
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312. I know tensions are high.
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313. Take that!
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314. There's a deposit
on that equipment, people!
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315. Settle down, please!
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316. Hit him! Hit him!
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317. Hey, class is over.
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318. Okay, yeah, see ya tomorrow.
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319. That was good.
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320. Say, what are you doing after...
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321. Well, you did it.
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322. You took my one chance
at happiness
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323. and crushed it.
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324. Crushed it into little,
tiny, bite-size pieces.
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325. I really had expected
better of you people.
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326. I guess I'm a loser
for that, too.
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327. Don't bother showing up
tomorrow.
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328. I'll just tell them you all
died in a marching accident.
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329. So, thanks.
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330. Thanks for nothing.
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331. You're welcome.
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332. What kind of
monsters are we?
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333. That poor creature
came to us in
his hour of need
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334. and we failed him.
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335. Squidward's always
been there for us
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336. when it was
convenient for him.
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337. Evelyn, when your little
Jimmy was trapped in a fire
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338. who rescued him?
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339. A fireman.
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340. And, Larry, when
your heart gave out
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341. from all those
tanning pills,
who revived you?
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342. Some guy
in an ambulance.
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343. Right.
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344. So, if we all
could just pretend
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345. that Squidward was a fireman
or some guy in an ambulance
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346. then I'm sure we could all
pull together
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347. and discover what it truly means
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348. to be in a marching band.
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349. Yeah, for
the fireman!
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350. Yeah!
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351. Now let's make Squidward proud.
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352. A-one, a-two,
a squiddly-diddly do.
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353. I knew this was going to happen.
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354. They're just going to have
to find another band to play.
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355. I just hope that...
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356. Squilliam doesn't find out!
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357. Squilliam! Aw!
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358. What are you doing here?
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359. I just wanted
to watch you blow it.
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360. So, where's your band?
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361. Uh... they couldn't come.
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362. They... died.
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363. Then who's that?
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364. Ah! That would
be my band!
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365. We're ready to
perform, Squidward.
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366. Well, Squiddy,
this is exactly
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367. how I pictured
your band would look.
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368. That's his eager face.
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369. I guess this will be
the last time
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370. I can show my face
in this town.
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371. That's the spirit,
Squidward.
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372. Okay, football fans
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373. put your hands together
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374. for the Bikini Bottom
Super Band!
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375. Yeah!
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376. These are some
ugly-looking fish.
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377. Maybe we're near one of
those toxic-waste dumps.
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378. I think I'm going to be sick.
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379. Okay, everybody.
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380. Let's get this over with.
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381. One, two, three...
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382. four...
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383. Oh!
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384. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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385. and NICKELODEON]
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