1. Are you ready, kids?
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2. Aye, aye, Captain!
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3. I can't hear you.
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4. Aye, aye, Captain!
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5. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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6. and NICKELODEON]
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7. And now it's time for...
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8. hosted by SpongeBob's number
one fan, Patchy the Pirate.
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9. Ahoy, fellow fanatics!
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10. Welcome to Patchy's Pick.
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11. Come on back to the galley.
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12. I'm cooking up a real treat
for you today.
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13. We're going to see me
favorite show, "Shanghaied."
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14. Ta-dah!
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15. Boring!
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16. If it isn't my
less-than-amusing
sidekick
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17. Potty the Parrot.
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18. Potty, say hello
to the nice people.
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19. I'm being held here
against my will— help!
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20. Arrgh!
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21. Potty, come back!
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22. Potty?
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23. Potty!
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24. Where'd you go?
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25. Potty, you in there, buddy?
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26. Potty!
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27. Potty!
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28. Get me out of here!
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29. Well, roll the cartoon.
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30. Mm, Kelpo...
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31. "With one of eight
essential prizes inside!"
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32. Holy Shrimp!
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33. Squidward!
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34. The sky had a baby
from my cereal box.
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35. Squidward!
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36. Squidward!
The sky had a baby!
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37. That's a giant anchor—
now, go away!
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38. Hey,
SpongeBob.
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39. The sky had a baby.
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40. I know.
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41. What should we name it?
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42. How about...
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43. Why don't you two
go climb its anchor rope?
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44. I'm sure it goes somewhere
far away.
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45. Now look what you've done.
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46. We didn't do it.
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47. Our hands are clean.
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48. Clean.
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49. Well, I'm going to get
to the bottom of this thing.
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50. Isn't that the top?
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51. Squid, wait! Squid!
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52. Ship!
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53. You are in your
little fantasy world.
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54. No, look— a giant ship.
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55. Great, let's go.
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56. I can give this
anchor-dropper a
piece of my mind.
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57. I don't know, Squidward.
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58. That ship has a spooky
green glow around it.
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59. Probably because
its owner is too
lazy to clean
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60. or drop his anchors
in the right place.
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61. Squid, wait.
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62. All right, who owns this crate?
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63. Come on out, I want
to file a complaint.
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64. Doesn't this place
seem familiar?
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65. I don't know— why?
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66. Doesn't it just ring a bell?
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67. Yes.
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68. I know who owns
this boat.
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69. I just can't place
the name.
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70. No, no, it's not...
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71. I am the Flying Dutchman.
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72. That's it!
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73. This ship belongs
to the Red Baron.
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74. Who be disturbing
the Flying Dutchman
in his own lair?
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75. Squidward wants
to complain to you.
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76. I... No, I...
I don't.
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77. What about all that stuff
about his ship being dirty?
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78. I never said that.
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79. Insulting a man's ship be worse
than insulting his mother.
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80. Wait— it washis mother
you said was dirty,
not his ship.
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81. Ow.
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82. You're next.
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83. That was a close one.
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84. Welcome back.
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85. That was
a closer one.
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86. Welcome back.
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87. Hey, how come when they act up
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88. all they get
is the welcome wagon?
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89. If you ask me, it's...
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90. So are you going
to try that again?
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91. Probably.
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92. How about now?
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93. No, no,
they're not.
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94. Now listen.
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95. "Whosoever sets foot
on the Flying Dutchman's ship
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96. "uninvited or otherwise
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97. "shall become members
of his ghostly crew forever...
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98. and, uh... ever."
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99. Will we be getting
business cards?
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100. Silence!
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101. You're part
of my crew now
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102. and our job is
to sail around and
frighten people.
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103. It'll be grueling,
mind-numbing and repetitive.
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104. Just like... daytime television.
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105. Now, you listen
here, Mister.
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106. If you think
I'm going to spend
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107. more than five minutes
on this dumpster
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108. then you're crazy.
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109. I mean, look at this place.
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110. It's disgusting.
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111. Whoever told you
that hanging oil lamps
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112. next to hardwood paneling
was a good idea...
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113. I suppose you're going
to show me...
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114. Oh, that's very nice.
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115. Oh, is this some kind
of magic act?
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116. Would anyone else
like to enter the
Fly of Despair?
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117. No, we know
our place now,
Mr. Dutchman.
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118. We'll do
anything you say.
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119. Then for starters,
you can swab the deck.
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120. Look, Patrick, a real,
live ghost mop.
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121. And I got this hat.
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122. Listen!
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123. We're going
to Bikini Bottom tonight
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124. for a little haunting spree
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125. so I want this ship
to look good and scary.
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126. You mean you want it
to look good... and scary.
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127. Well, I think
we could probably...
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128. No, no, he means
he wants it to look
so good that it's scary.
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129. Or maybe that
by looking so scary
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130. you forget that
it doesn't look good.
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131. I don't get it.
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132. Look, it's easy...
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133. Never mind
what it means!
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134. I just want it
to look scary!
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135. That's it!
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136. You know, mold growing
on the ceilings
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137. bugs in the sink.
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138. So you don't want it
to look good?
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139. Get moving!
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140. What a night be this.
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141. Crew, howl with me
so that we might set
the seven seas
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142. ablaze with fear!
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143. Eh, that'll do.
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144. Okay, square one.
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145. Since pink one's working
the navigation
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146. it's up to you to find
our first victim.
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147. Here, use this spyglass.
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148. Now, hurry up—
we're burning moonlight.
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149. Let's see who we can find.
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150. Captain, there's a guy
we can scare.
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151. I had four biscuits,
and I ate one.
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152. Then I only had three.
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153. Ah... it does me heart good
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154. to see children out
after dark.
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155. Pink one, take us
behind those rocks.
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156. Moving behind the rocks!
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157. Keep going!
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158. You're good, you're good.
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159. You're good.
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160. And... stop.
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161. We'll buff out those scratches.
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162. All right,
never mind it.
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163. Just jump out
when I give the signal.
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164. Boo!
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165. Prepare to be burdened
with the haunting memory
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166. of my ghostly ghost pirates.
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167. Was that the signal?
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168. Okay, sorry, sorry.
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169. Just do it again!
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170. With the haunting memory
of my ghostly ghost pirates!
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171. How does he do that?
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172. Get back on the ship.
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173. It's still a mystery.
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174. Those guys
are dorks.
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175. Yes, but they're my dorks.
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176. You're good,
you're good.
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177. You're good.
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178. Huh?
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179. You're good,
you're good.
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180. You're good.
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181. You're good,
you're good.
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182. You're good.
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183. Why did the Dutchman
ask us to wait in
our bunk room?
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184. Maybe he's going
to give us a reward.
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185. Like movie passes?
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186. Or an oversized
coffee mug!
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187. I've been thinking.
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188. Stop bouncing!
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189. This whole "crew for eternity"
thing isn't working out.
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190. It's not really you,
so much as it is me.
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191. You're setting us free?
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192. Well, actually,
I'm just going to eat you.
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193. See you at dinner.
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194. Wait.
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195. I have an idea.
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196. Really? What is it?
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197. Let's leave.
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198. But the door
is locked.
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199. And the only way out
is through the...
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200. perfume department!
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201. Let's do it.
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202. Blah!
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203. I always hate going
in there.
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204. Yeah.
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205. Wait, listen!
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206. Dear Diary...
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207. I've told them
I'm going to eat them tomorrow.
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208. I made up some
of that brown sauce
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209. my cousin showed me
just for the occasion.
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210. It's a good thing
I found my dining sock again.
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211. Remember the last time
I lost me dining sock?
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212. I couldn't eat for a whole week.
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213. Sure, sometimes I wonder
how I survive.
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214. If anything should
ever happen...
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215. Ahh!
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216. Give me back my sock!
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217. Everyone knows
I can't eat without it!
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218. Never!
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219. Okay, then!
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220. Uh, oh,
give it to me!
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221. No!
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222. You're stretching
the elastic!
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223. It would seem
we have reached
an impasse.
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224. Pink one is right.
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225. Tell you what—
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226. you give me back the sock and
I'll give you... three wishes.
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227. Make it five.
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228. Four.
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229. Three.
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230. Take it or leave it.
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231. Okay, uh, three.
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232. You get three wishes.
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233. Wow! Three wishes,
Pat.
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234. Isn't that great?
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235. Wishes... I wish
we had known that earlier.
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236. Okay, you got
two wishes left.
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237. Well, we still
have two more.
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238. How exciting!
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239. I wish Squidward were here
to see this.
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240. Ahh!
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241. Boy, I'm glad all that's over.
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242. Squidward, you're back!
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243. Guess what.
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244. The Dutchman gave us
three wishes!
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245. Patrick used the first one
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246. and I guess I...
just used the second one.
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247. Well, then the last one
you owe me
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248. because you got me back
into this mess!
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249. Wait, I think
it belongs to me!
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250. That's enough!
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251. Using my mystic
otherworldly powers
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252. I shall decide
who gets the last wish.
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253. Eenie-meenie-minie-mo,
catch a sailor by the toe.
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254. If he hollers, let him go.
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255. My mother told me
to pick the very best one
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256. and you are it!
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257. Our fate, SpongeBob!
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258. We're about
to get eaten!
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259. What can you wish for
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260. to make it so
we don't get eaten?
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261. Don't worry,
Squidward.
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262. I've got it
all figured out.
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263. He won't be able
to eat us
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264. because I wish
that the Dutchman
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265. was a vegetarian!
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266. Hooray!
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267. We're home!
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268. You did it,
SpongeBob.
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269. We're safe!
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270. But why have we
been turned into fruits?
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271. Hey, I get
a wish, too.
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272. Fruit prevents scurvy.
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273. Ahh!
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274. Hey, get back here
with that!
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275. I'll get you!
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276. Ahoy, children— I'm back!
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277. I hope all you boys and girls
enjoyed the show
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278. because it's time for you
to walk the plank.
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279. Oh, sorry, kids.
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280. What I meant to say was,
"It's time for fan mail."
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281. Hooray!
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282. And now the moment
you've all been waiting for!
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283. So get ready
to blow milk out your nose
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284. because we're going
to open a letter!
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285. The envelope please,
Potty.
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286. Thank you, my fine,
feathered assistant.
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287. You're not welcome.
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288. Hey, Potty,
you smell something?
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289. Ah! Potty, that fuse
in your head!
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290. I told you we're
not doing that stunt!
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291. I didn't get the memo!
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292. Well, that's it
for Patchy's Pick.
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293. Hooray!
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294. Gary, looks like it's
that time of week again.
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295. Bath time!
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296. Come on, let's go get
the water started.
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297. You're going to have
to get in that tub, Gary.
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298. Now, Gary, we can do this
the hard way or the easy way.
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299. Or the medium way.
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300. Or the semi-medium-
easy-hard way.
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301. Or the sort of hard
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302. with a touch of awkward-easy,
difficult-challenging way.
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303. So that's how you want
to play it, huh?
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304. Gary, check out
this new toy.
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305. Fetch!
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306. Huh?
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307. "New Boomerang Pet Ball—
Really works."
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308. Aye!
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309. Gary, there's a bomb strapped
to my chest!
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310. It's going to explode
in three seconds
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311. unless you take a bath!
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312. Please.
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313. I am now going
to assault your mind
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314. with subliminal messages.
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315. Sorry you had
to see that.
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316. Hello, fancy
French restaurant...
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317. I've got
a naughty snail here
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318. who won't take a bath.
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319. What?
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320. Could you say
that again?
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321. Slow down!
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322. It's like you're speaking
some other language.
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323. Hey, Gar,
how about some leapfrog?
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324. Whee-hee!
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325. Okay, your turn.
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326. Hey, Gar,
how about some leapfrog?
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327. I've got a crisp
dollar bill for
the next fella
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328. to take a bath
in this house!
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329. That didn't
work either, huh?
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330. Gary! Gary! Gary!
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331. Look what I found!
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332. It's an old pirate
treasure map
revealing the location
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333. of buried pirate
treasure
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334. in this very house.
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335. Come on, boy, let's
go get that treasure!
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336. Whoo!
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337. Okay, Gary.
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338. Now, 40 paces to the left.
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339. One, two, three,
four, five, six
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340. seven, eight,
nine, ten...
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341. 24, 25, 26, 27... 40.
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342. The treasure
must be in here.
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343. Wow, Gary, look!
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344. A pirate treasure chest!
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345. Meow.
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346. Why, no, Gary,
this isn't the bathtub.
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347. It's treasure!
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348. Look— doubloons.
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349. Don't drop them.
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350. Look at this brooch!
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351. Meow.
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352. I don't know what a snail
wants with a brooch!
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353. Now, why don't you
just get in the tub?
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354. Get in the tub!
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355. Get in the tub!
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356. Get in the tub!
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357. In the tub!
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358. In the tub!
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359. Now, Gary, are you going
to get in this tub
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360. or am I going
to have to...
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361. Gary, uh... could you, uh...
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362. Gary, no!
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363. Gary!
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364. All right, Gary.
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365. You have duped and/or
frustrated me for the last time!
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366. So if I can't get you
to come to the bath
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367. I'll just have to bring the bath
to you.
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368. Psst... Gary...
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369. Bath delivery.
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370. Come back, Gary.
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371. I have something
to share with you.
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372. This is more like it.
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373. Meow.
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374. What are you waiting for, Gary?
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375. Meow, meow, meow.
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376. Oh, stuck in a tree?
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377. Meow, meow, meow.
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378. It's time
to clean up your act, Gary.
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379. Meow, meow, meow...
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380. Oh, no!
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381. I bathed Gary too hard
and removed his skin.
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382. Meow, meow, meow, meow.
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383. Gary!
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384. Bring that ladder back
this instant!
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385. I am not amused, mister.
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386. You're going to take a bath and
you're going to get clean now!
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387. Meow.
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388. I am sothe boss of you.
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389. Meow.
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390. It's a free country
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391. but you live in my house,
under my rules.
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392. Meow.
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393. Don't use that tone with me.
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394. You will do what I say,
when I say!
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395. What are you doing?
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396. I am talking to you, Mister.
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397. Do not go near that mud puddle!
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398. Gary, do you hear me?
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399. I am giving you
three seconds
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400. to get a away
from that mud puddle.
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401. One, two,
two and a half...
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402. Don't make me say three.
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403. Gary!
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404. Gary! Gary!
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405. Gary!
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406. I'm a dirty boy.
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407. Meow.
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408. Yeah, yeah, Gary, I'm
getting behind my ears.
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409. [Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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410. and NICKELODEON]
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