SpongeBob DocuPants 1x7

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There's a host of dangerous sea creatures across the deep blue, but what happens when they're right in your backyard? Host Kent Shocknek gives us a disturbing glimpse of some of the not-so-friendly inhabitants of Bikini Bottom.

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1. - A sea-bear, an Alaskan bull worm,

2. and a rare encounter with an underwater gorilla.

3. In this special, we'll dive into three separate stories

4. with the same startling theme,

5. stories about what happens when sea creatures attack.

6. I'm Kent Shocknek, and this is "SpongeBob DocuPants."

7. First, we take a look at an incident

8. that happened in one Bikini Bottom resident's own backyard,

9. when a casual camping trip among three neighbors,

10. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward,

11. turned into a vicious sea-bear attack.

12. - Everything seemed fine.

13. There was a campfire, marshmallows, Swedish Barnacle Balls.

14. It was just a regular camping trip.

15. But then Squidward really ticked off that sea-bear.

16. - Playing the clarinet badly

17. is never a good idea around a sea-bear.

18. It aggravates them,

19. but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

20. There are a lotta things that can attract

21. and anger a sea-bear.

22. - In an arrogant attempt

23. to show that he wasn't afraid,

24. Squidward deliberately ignored all the known precautions

25. against sea-bear attacks.

26. - A sea-bear's natural prey is a flashlight.

27. The last thing you wanna do is wave one around.

28. And this guy has a flashlight and a plate of cubed cheese.

29. Always slice your cheese when camping, always.

30. If you cube it, you're asking to be mauled by a sea-bear.

31. I mean, this guy was doing everything wrong.

32. The sombrero, the screeching,

33. he was asking for it.

34. - Squigward thought it was all just a joke.

35. He didn't even think that sea-bears were real.

36. I guess, he never read "Fake Science Monthly."

37. But he was just standing there laughing,

38. and then all of a sudden, he hears this ear-splitting roar,

39. and he really only had about a second to turn and run.

40. It all happened so, so fast.

41. The next thing we know,

42. the sea-bear was right on top of him.

43. - Immediately overwhelmed by the power

44. of the creature, Squidward was in for a rough time.

45. Once the sea-bear was satisfied

46. that he was no longer a threat, it appeared to swim away.

47. - What a lotta people don't realize

48. is that a sea-bear will often attack more than once,

49. I mean, especially if you run for your life.

50. Sea-bears hate that.

51. And of course that's what this guy did.

52. - Only moments after the attack,

53. Squidward was horrified to find the sea-bear

54. charging him a second time.

55. He had no choice but to hope the sea-bear

56. would turn its back so he could limp home.

57. - Sea-bears hate limping more than running,

58. so it was no surprise that limping home

59. only encouraged a third attack.

60. - Ultimately, Squidward was able to take refuge

61. with his two friends who had come prepared

62. to deal with sea-bears.

63. - There's really only one surefire defense

64. against a sea-bear attack,

65. and that's drawing a little circle in the dirt.

66. Don't draw an oval.

67. Whatever you do, don't draw an oval.

68. A circle, it has to be a circle.

69. The technical term is anti-sea-bear circles.

70. They'll stop a sea-bear dead in its tracks.

71. When it comes down to it, this guy is really lucky

72. that his friends took the proper precautions.

73. If they hadn't been there,

74. it could have been a whole different story.

75. - As Squidward learned,

76. when it comes to dangerous underwater animals,

77. it's usually best to just stay away.

78. But sometimes an animal can pose such a threat

79. that seeking it out becomes necessary for survival.

80. Our next story is about a young squirrel, Sandy Cheeks,

81. who went looking for an Alaskan bull worm

82. that was so big, scary, and pink,

83. that it put the entire city of Bikini Bottom

84. in immanent danger.

85. It was a night of tropical tranquility in Bikini Bottom,

86. when out of the blue came the thunderous sound

87. of a deadly Alaskan bull worm.

88. - I never knew the destruction

89. an Alaskan bull worm could bring.

90. I mean, you hear worm and you don't think

91. homes being destroyed or butts dismembered.

92. Heck, it was even eating kids' homework.

93. - Everyone was paralyzed with fear.

94. Everyone except for Sandy Cheeks.

95. She had no fear.

96. Confident in her abilities, the young squirrel from Texas

97. sat out to track down the worm.

98. - I never recommend seeking out an Alaskan bull worm.

99. No, I think you wanna get as far away

100. from that thing as possible.

101. A better option would be like, I don't know,

102. to take the town and push it somewhere else

103. or something like that.

104. - I remember SpongeBob desperately trying

105. to talk her out of it.

106. I mean, he had seen the destruction

107. the worm caused firsthand.

108. He said everything he could think of to stop her.

109. He even said larginfidiblenukhip.

110. It slowed her down, but it didn't stop her.

111. - Sandy thought she was prepared

112. to face the dangers the worm presented,

113. but she never expected that she would willingly

114. walk straight into the worm's mouth.

115. - Alaskan bull worms have this unique trick,

116. their tongues look exactly like Alaskan bull worms.

117. Nature.

118. - Sandy thought she was fighting

119. an Alaskan bull worm,

120. but then all of a sudden,

121. she realizes there's an Alaskan bull worm,

122. so she and SpongeBob start running,

123. but that thing is like a freight train.

124. It's right on them.

125. - The pair fled for their lives

126. as the behemoth hurtled toward them at an alarming speed.

127. - There's only one widely-accepted way to stop a bull worm,

128. and that's to use a paperclip and a piece of string

129. to fashion a grappling hook.

130. Then hook it onto a bit of coral,

131. and swing around onto the worm's back,

132. just as it's falling off a large, conveniently-placed cliff.

133. Then from there, all you need to do it sort of

134. treadmill your way back to the top of the cliff.

135. Easy.

136. - In a bizarre coincidence,

137. that happens to be exactly what SpongeBob and Sandy did,

138. narrowly escaping an attack that could have been fatal.

139. - Anyone who messes with an Alaskan bull worm and survives

140. better thank their lucky stars,

141. because a worm is a vicious animal.

142. It can squirm at 130 miles per hour,

143. and its jaws can engulf an entire vehicle.

144. You don't wanna be on the other end of that, trust me.

145. - Well, you may be surprised

146. to run into an Alaskan bull worm.

147. If you live underwater, you know there's always a risk,

148. but you may never expect to be attacked by a gorilla.

149. Yet on one rare occurrence,

150. three local Bikini Bottom residents

151. found themselves face-to-face with exactly that,

152. at the bottom of the sea.

153. It was a day like any other

154. for local homebody SpongeBob SquarePants,

155. when two of his closest friends

156. hatched a seemingly harmless plan

157. to coerce the sponge to leave his pineapple home.

158. - SpongeBob had developed this fear of the outside,

159. so his friends decided to stage a gorilla attack, as you do.

160. So Patrick dressed as a gorilla.

161. - What confused Sandy was that over the so-called

162. gorilla's shoulder, she could see Patrick

163. eating an ice cream cone not dressed as a gorilla.

164. So which one was the real Patrick?

165. Gorillas often try to use complex illusion

166. and visual gags to disorient their prey.

167. So, while Patrick was dressed as a gorilla,

168. the gorilla dressed up as Patrick.

169. True cunning, the likes of which none of you have ever seen.

170. - The extra few seconds it took Patrick and Sandy

171. to see what was happening was all the real gorilla needed

172. to maintain the element of surprise,

173. and before anyone could react,

174. it unzipped its Patrick costume and attacked.

175. - This thing was angry.

176. I mean, it just started immediately

177. beating its chest and grunting.

178. I mean, you can see how dangerous it was.

179. It was scary.

180. - When a gorilla is particularly aggravated,

181. he can sometimes take his victims

182. and shove them into a burlap sack.

183. So if you ever see a gorilla with a burlap sack,

184. you run.

185. - The gorilla stuffed them both into the sack

186. and just tied it off and just started brutally...

187. It's just indescribable.

188. It was horrible.

189. - The reason these attacks can be exceptionally dangerous

190. is because most gorillas watch

191. a lot of professional wrestling,

192. and they derive their behavior from what they see.

193. You know, monkey see, monkey do.

194. That's where that saying comes from.

195. - SpongeBob is seeing all of this from his window,

196. and he knows he has to do something fast,

197. so he runs out there and he holds his hands up and he yells.

198. Textbook gorilla defense tactic, and it works.

199. The gorilla puts the sack down,

200. but now the problem was that all of the attention

201. was on SpongeBob.

202. - With its rampage reaching its peak,

203. the gorilla grabbed the young sponge and ripped him in half.

204. SpongeBob knew that if he didn't act fast,

205. the gorilla might actually hurt him.

206. - He didn't know what to do.

207. He was kind of desperately grasping at straws,

208. so he just started pointing out

209. the inconsistencies in the situation.

210. A gorilla underwater?

211. That didn't make any sense.

212. - Fortunately, it seemed to work.

213. The gorilla, clearly uncomfortable,

214. frantically tried to explain itself

215. before retreating from the scene on zebra-back.

216. - Riding a zebra is always a sign

217. that a gorilla is frightened.

218. So as soon as it got onto the zebra's back,

219. the group was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

220. It was over.

221. They conquered nature,

222. a special thing.

223. - You always hear horror stories about attacks like this,

224. but you never think it could actually happen to you.

225. So for SpongeBob and the others

226. that actually lived through this,

227. you just can't explain that kind of feeling.

228. - There you have it, three separate encounters

229. with three separate undersea animals,

230. each one more dangerous than the last.

231. In the end, the survivors of each story

232. are lucky to be around to tell the tale.

233. If you or a loved one have encountered a cranky,

234. undersea animal, we wanna hear from you.

235. Just put your message in a bottle and cork it.