Spliced 1x51

Directed by

Tom McCamus as Lord Wingus Eternum (voice) • Stephen Ouimette as B'Eak Altius (voice)

After Lord Wingus Eturnium convinces Joe to go to the other side of the island (with "help" from Peri and Entrée) to meet with his kind, he is given a choice to have Joe separated from himself, but finds that it means having Joe ground off of him.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Ooh, ooh.

2. Number three again.

3. Peri, no.

4. You choose stomp-o-line.

5. It rhymes with trampoline.

6. Ooh. Ow.

7. No! More!

8. Wrecking! The!

9. Town!

10. Joseph.

11. I, Lord Wingus Eternum, would speak with you once again.

12. I'm busy.

13. Joseph, give me your mind.

14. We were the doctor's first creation.

15. And his best.

16. Every decade, the great migration occurs

17. across space and time.

18. My people come back to the island to feast on noodle worms

19. and to play beach volleyball.

20. I wish to join them on the other side of the island.

21. I don't have time to waste on some feathery family reunion.

22. I've got mayoring to do. You deny me?

23. In all these years, I've never asked for anything.

24. And you've never done anything for me either.

25. Haven't I?

26. Badger ticks! Ah! Take cover!

27. Calm down.

28. They won't bother you if you don't bother them.

29. Bored, bored, bored.

30. And that was just yesterday.

31. Look, I'm not taking you places to lay eggs or whatever.

32. Period.

33. Then you leave me no choice but to

34. be really annoying until you change your mind.

35. Go nuts, feather duster.

36. There's nothing you can do to annoy me.

37. Really, Joe?

38. Really, really, really?

39. Give me your mind, mind, mind.

40. You smell something?

41. I cannot take hold of your minds.

42. They're too small.

43. Hey, Wingus. What's up?

44. I need your help to drive Joe crazy.

45. Pfft. Why didn't you just say so?

46. We're on your back, man.

47. I know your fears, Joseph.

48. And having Peri and Entree with you 24 hours a day

49. is one of them.

50. Ha!

51. I know you just glued them on there.

52. I did. But they decided

53. they wanted to make it more authentic.

54. We can make you do stuff now.

55. You're like our rental car.

56. Do as I ask and I will remove them.

57. Ignore me and suffer.

58. Bring it!

59. Woo-hoo!

60. Hey, Joe.

61. Guess why your back just got a little warm.

62. Entree, I'm going to destroy you!

63. What? It's only warm lemonade.

64. Sheesh.

65. Helping me would have been easier than all of this.

66. He's bluffing. He's a punk.

67. Too scared to pay the ultimate price, huh?

68. Weak. Wingus!

69. Get these monkeys off my back!

70. I'll take you to your bird party!

71. Finally, some respect.

72. You may rise, birds.

73. Greetings, Lord Eternum.

74. I shove bugs into your mouth.

75. I shove bugs into your mouth, B'eak Altius.

76. Hi. I'm Peri. Who are you guys?

77. Our name cannot be spoken in any language.

78. It must be expressed as a dance and laser show.

79. We are called:

80. So, you guys good eating?

81. I like your bird pals, Wingus.

82. I see you have not yet had this growth removed.

83. Growth? Where?

84. It's not touching me, is it?

85. It is you, Joseph.

86. Behold.

87. Hey, we can totally

88. see this flashback.

89. I create all the flashbacks

90. for the island. Is that little guy you?

91. Yes, when I was carefree

92. and defended the universe

93. from only the least dangerous horrors.

94. Then my real training began.

95. I was to take my father's place as ruler of my people.

96. It was during the laser eye exercise

97. that I first noticed my weakness.

98. You have only half-cooked this weenie, Lord Wingus.

99. If you are to become Turbo Supreme Mega Bird Lord,

100. it must be fully cooked.

101. It is the way of things.

102. I mastered combat.

103. Including advanced piñata defense.

104. But the growth on my foot held me back.

105. Your throne, Wingus.

106. Horns above. It's me.

107. My people would not accept me with you on my foot.

108. I was offered a choice:

109. Remove you or be banished.

110. So, what'd you do? Did you pull him off?

111. I left. Ooh.

112. You left your people?

113. For me?

114. I kept you safe.

115. I kept you fed. No easy task.

116. Oh, oh, oh!

117. Put me in this bit. I'm hungry too.

118. Oof.

119. Before I knew it,

120. you were walking on your own. And stomping.

121. Always the stomping.

122. You didn't need me anymore, so I kept silent.

123. I don't know what to say.

124. All these years, I thought you were just

125. a few pounds of birdmeat I had to lug around.

126. But I'm the meat...

127. More like a wart.

128. Yeah, a big ugly wart.

129. You're better off without me, Wingus.

130. I've been selfish and horrible.

131. I'm more like Entree than Entree.

132. You wish, wartface.

133. Lord Wingus, do you wish me to remove this growth?

134. Yes. Yes, he does.

135. Let the extra-fatal

136. grinding ceremony begin.

137. It's fatal?

138. Eventually.

139. Wait.

140. I did not know Joe's life was at risk.

141. You gave up your life to help me.

142. At least now you can become King Superbird or whatever.

143. Only a true friend would sacrifice himself for another.

144. Stop.

145. Stop. Why aren't we stopping?

146. Let Joe out of that big grindy thing.

147. We must have our king.

148. Grind him.

149. Where'd you get that, Entree?

150. I swiped it from that barbecue flashback.

151. I need something to stomp against.

152. I will erect a force field.

153. Nice.

154. Freedom stomp!

155. I will protect us, but I will not harm my people.

156. Fine. I'll do all the harming.

157. Pluck-stomp.

158. You choose this thing over your people?

159. Over me?

160. Again.

161. You're dealing with both of us now, you winged rat.

162. Thunder stomp.

163. Now, Entree!

164. Get him from behind.

165. Peri, shh.

166. Looks like you're down, feathers.

167. If you stay, the wonders of the universe

168. will be lost to you forever.

169. I have made my choice.

170. My work with Joseph is not complete.

171. That, and we share one heart.

172. Farewell, Lord Wingus Eternum.

173. You helped save me so you could keep playing

174. Poke the Mayor, right?

175. It is the way of things.

176. Just poke me so I can stomp you.

177. So we can stomp them.

178. Friend.

179. Poke. Ah!

180. Oh, yeah?

181. Well, if you're so hungry,

182. why don't you make something?

183. Stomach, that's an awesome idea.

184. From now on, you're on brain duty.

185. Ahem.

186. Thank you all for entering

187. the condemned super-prize

188. cooky-cooky, licky-eaty cook-off.

189. I'll be your eater judge today.

190. I call it spaghetti a la...

191. Oh, that was great.

192. You win...

193. something.

194. Heh-heh, this one wins too.

195. Win, win, win, win, win, win, win. Ha!

196. Where's the prize?

197. Oh, that?

198. That will be awarded after dessert.

199. So go and make me dessert.

200. Enjoy tummy. You earned it.

201. Good job, guys.

202. Ooh, spicy.

203. Poosh.

204. Poosh.

205. Poosh.

206. Poosh.

207. Poosh...

208. Poosh. Poosh.

209. Entree, stop. Wake up.

210. Poosh.

211. Entree, you're sleepwalking again.

212. Ow! Oh!

213. Wake up!

214. Whoa!

215. Oh, I just had the weirdest dream.

216. Leave the cheese.

217. You kept on saying the word "poosh" in your sleep.

218. What's it mean?

219. Eh, never heard it before.

220. Man, your place is a mess, Peri.

221. Got anything to eat?

222. Maybe it's someone's name.

223. Like Admiral Poosh.

224. Or it could be a verb. Gross...

225. "I'm pooshed to meet you."

226. Gross.

227. Ow!

228. Gross. Oof.

229. Or an adjective.

230. "You're looking very poosh today."

231. Stop making up words, Peri.

232. You're the one that said poosh.

233. I'm talking about "adjective" and "verb".

234. Maybe poosh means "please".

235. Like, "Could you make me a sandwich, poosh?"

236. Huh?

237. Sandwich.

238. Oh, I didn't really want one, I was just...

239. Entree?

240. Huh? Oh, hey.

241. A sandwich. For me? You shouldn't have.

242. Made just one.

243. Uh, you made that sandwich, Entree.

244. Ate, Peri. I ate that sandwich.

245. No. I said, "Could you make me a sandwich, poosh?" Then you...

246. Wow.

247. Oh, hey, seconds.

248. Jump up and down.

249. Pass.

250. Jump up and down, poosh?

251. Boing, boing.

252. Pretend you're a hat, poosh.

253. Make a noise like a banana, poosh.

254. Ooh, a banana.

255. Hm, clean your eyes with your tongue, poosh?

256. Uh, did you say something?

257. I don't believe it.

258. No way, José.

259. Try it yourself.

260. Okay, okay.

261. Entree, go tell Joe that he's a big dummy head

262. and his head is full of dumb

263. and the only reason why he wears a hat

264. is to hold in all that dumb.

265. Poosh.

266. Oh, really?

267. I still don't believe you.

268. Believe me, poosh.

269. Holy cow. This is terrible.

270. If anyone knew my secret poosh, they could make me do stuff.

271. But who would do that?

272. I want a better view from my house.

273. Poosh.

274. Oh...

275. Hey, who moved my house?

276. You did, Entree.

277. Oh, no wonder I'm so sore.

278. I need a back rub, poosh.

279. No! Ow!

280. Oh!

281. Ooh...

282. I hurt so much.

283. Except for my back.

284. Entree, stop pooshing yourself around.

285. Okay, okay, okay.

286. Make me a hundred milkshakes, poosh.

287. Oh-ho, whoo-hoo!

288. Hey. Milkshakes. How'd these get here?

289. You pooshed yourself.

290. Where do you think you got all the milk?

291. Oh! Nugget! Nippocles! A.J.!

292. Oh, little A.J.

293. Peri, promise never to tell anyone my secret word.

294. Not even me.

295. But you already know it.

296. I promise!

297. Entree, forget about all this poosh thing,

298. poosh.

299. Entree?

300. Hey, Peri.

301. Where'd all these milkshakes come from?

302. Uh, well, the milkshake fairy came and she...

303. Peri, I'm trying to drink here.

304. Ew.

305. Huh?

306. Hey. Entree,

307. what are you doing to my stuff?

308. Marking my territory.

309. Cool, huh?

310. I didn't even know I could do this until yesterday.

311. Uh, thanks for your help, Entree.

312. No problemo, Patricia.

313. Did you...? Did you just mark my...?

314. Right on! My groceries.

315. Stop it, Entree. And clean your... stuff...

316. off of my stuff.

317. Uh, technically, it's all my stuff now.

318. And so are you.

319. Clean off my stuff.

320. Clean off my stuff.

321. I'm going to ask one more time.

322. Ask me what?

323. Clean all this stuff right now, poosh!

324. Oh, my gosh. I said it. I said the word.

325. I'll never use it again.

326. It's poking time.

327. Ah! Don't poke me, poosh.

328. Oh, man. I'm sorry, Entree.

329. Sorry for what?

330. With the score tied,

331. the winner of this next play... Shh. I am trying to concentrate.

332. Fine. Get someone else to announce your games.

333. I got it. I got it.

334. Whoo-hoo! I win.

335. You know what that means.

336. But I don't want to.

337. Uh, dump the swineapple, poosh.

338. Oh, no, I lost.

339. I know what that means.

340. Mwah!

341. Man alive!

342. Get off me.

343. There. Done.

344. Oh, you're done, all right.

345. Hm.

346. Entree, how about getting your pal a drink?

347. Yeah, right.

348. Uh, pretty, pretty, poosh, please?

349. Uh, why is there a fridge in the living room?

350. That's a very good question.

351. And I already answered it, poosh.

352. Makes sense to me.

353. Faster. Poosh.

354. Whoo-hoo!

355. Hm.

356. Ow. Ow.

357. Ow. Ow. Ow.

358. Ow.

359. Bungee!

360. Whee!

361. Faster. Swineapple. Lower. Poosh.

362. Hey, get up.

363. Get up, poosh.

364. Whoa, there, Peri.

365. Entree's not looking very good.

366. Patricia.

367. Nothing makes any sense.

368. I'm here. Then I'm there.

369. Help me!

370. I know how to help him.

371. I know just how to poosh his buttons.

372. Get up, poosh!

373. Get up!

374. Why does he keep saying that word?

375. It's making me mad.

376. Look, Peri. If you want Entree to get better,

377. there's only one thing that'll help:

378. the mythical Blargy Parble.

379. Really? Of course.

380. The Blargy Parble.

381. It's been...

382. what was it, lost for a million years-ish.

383. Yeah, sure, yeah. Totally. Go get it.

384. If it'll get Entree doing stuff for me again,

385. I'll find that parble.

386. He didn't even ask where it was.

387. He didn't even ask what it was.

388. So Peri began his quest

389. for the Blargy Parble.

390. It was to be a long and dangerous journey.

391. Hey, you.

392. Do you know where this Blargy Parble is?

393. I'm not supposed to say.

394. Peri crossed flaming rivers of lava.

395. Battled fierce monsters with vicious spin cycles.

396. Swam across uncharted puddings.

397. Finally, Peri found what he was looking for:

398. A clue.

399. That clue lead him to the guardian of the Blargy Parble.

400. Holy moly.

401. The robot won,

402. but its robot pride forced it to go double or nothing.

403. So they went bowling.

404. Peri had done it.

405. He had found the Blargy Parble.

406. Man, I can't wait

407. to have Entree give me a sponge bath

408. and carry me around and... Wha...?

409. Oh, Peri.

410. Um, I'm afraid you're too late.

411. Entree's gone.

412. Gone?

413. That's right. That's right?

414. Uh-huh. Uh-huh?

415. Look, he's not here anymore, okay?

416. It's my fault!

417. I pooshed him too far

418. and now he's gone forever!

419. What? He's not gone forever.

420. He just went swimming.

421. Swimming in the great beyond?

422. No, in the ocean.

423. Oh, there he is.

424. Entree.

425. You're okay.

426. Of course. He just needed time to rest

427. without you telling him to do stuff.

428. That's why we sent you on that wild goose chase.

429. To find the mystical Blargy Parble,

430. or whatever we made up.

431. I found it. You what?

432. Ooh.

433. I'm sorry I made you my poosh slave, Entree.

434. I have no idea what you're talking about,

435. but apology accepted.

436. What the horn do we do with this?

437. I've got an idea.

438. Whoa, banana.