Spliced 1x5

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Mister Smarty Smarts, tired of the incompetence and ineptitude of the inhabitants of the island, creates a device to make everyone smarter. His utopia is soon ruined when everyone's intelligence goes way past his. After being treated like an idiot, Smarts decides to make everyone unintelligent again.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Yikes!

2. This island is doomed!

3. Yep. Nothing but doom, doom for me, doom for everybody.

4. Oh, there's some doom for you too.

5. A granny knot? You naive fool. Those never hold.

6. Could you be more inefficient?

7. Clearly she hasn't read my thesis.

8. A Fibonacci spiral is a far superior method

9. for cutting grass! Why do I even publish? Why?

10. Mad Scientist says stand on your head!

11. Mad Scientist says run around in a circle!

12. Eat your own arm!

13. Ha! I didn't say "Mad Scientist says'"!

14. Ah!

15. Oh wow! Want a bite?

16. No, that's gross!

17. Do you have turkey?

18. SMARTY SMARTS: Peri and what's your face!

19. Stop playing that insipid game immediately!

20. We would, strange magical voice, but...

21. You didn't say "Mad Scientist says"!

22. It's not even a proper game! It's just listening!

23. Why can't anyone do things the right way? My way?

24. If everyone was just more like me,

25. this place would be paradise-dise-dise-dise!

26. Good day to you, sir. A fine afternoon, is it not?

27. My, my you are looking well today. Carry on!

28. Ooh!

29. Ah, chess, the game of kings. Do you mind?

30. Not at all!

31. It would be a crime if you didn't.

32. I do believe that is check and mate.

33. This isn't utopia, it's Me-topia.

34. It's so simple. All I must do is make every mutant

35. on this wretched island exactly like me!

36. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

37. You're right. That was never going to work.

38. I'll just invent a machine or something.

39. Behold! The Smarty Smarts Smarterer!

40. Guaranteed to make everyone on the island intelligent,

41. just like yours truly!

42. But it needs one final component:

43. a sample of pure unadulterated genius!

44. Wait, wait, wait.

45. Now, Octocat! Do it! Quickly, before I lose my nerve!

46. Ow! Excellent. Okay, that's...

47. Ow! Enough! Ow! Ow! Bad Octocat!

48. Stop! Stop! Ow!

49. Uncle! Uncle! Uncle Randy! Ow!

50. Hello. Hi there.

51. Quiet! And yes, this is absolutely necessary.

52. If these idiots figure out what we're up to,

53. they'll just do something idiotic and screw it up.

54. Hiya, Mr. Smarty Smarts. I like your dress.

55. Oh, well thank you. I'm quite happy with the way...

56. Peri!

57. You know her? She's cute...

58. What are you doing? What am I...

59. This island is drowning in stupidity

60. and you two cerebral slobs are the worst offenders!

61. What's a cerebral slob?

62. It's like peanut butter.

63. Peanut butter? It's not like peanut butter at all!

64. The age of fools is over!

65. Prepare yourself for the epoch of Smarty Smarts!

66. Brain power activate!

67. Don't look at me like that. Just give it a minute.

68. Ooh! Ah!

69. Whoa!

70. Excelsior!

71. Oh, please, please, please, please be like me now!

72. Peri, let's say I wanted to calculate

73. the weight of that dwelling.

74. If it was on Jupiter. Can you do that for me? Hmmm? Can you?

75. Please, the only way I'd rub two brain cells together

76. over that slum would be to set it on fire,

77. with an argon laser!

78. It worked! It worked! It worked!

79. Octocat, I hope you've prepared yourself for paradise!

80. Meow squared.

81. Good day to you, sir! Isn't life grand?

82. You remind me of someone brilliant and handsome.

83. Oh wait, that would be me!

84. Doesn't the air smell brilliant today?

85. Hey! Mind where you're piloting that machine!

86. I'm trying to walk!

87. My research shows that people who walk have smaller brains.

88. That's ridiculous!

89. What did you say, ground lover?

90. Nothing! Nothing at all! Just walking away now...

91. "Mad Scientist says" calculate the value of Pi

92. to the 20th decimal point...

93. Oh please! That couldn't be easier.

94. And use it to build a space station...

95. Better... Out of these.

96. Uh, I could do that, but Mad Scientist says

97. I have somewhere else to be right now.

98. Hmm, perchance I made it too easy.

99. Mr. Smarty Smarts, care for a round of chess?

100. Absolutely!

101. But I should warn you, I'm an internet grand champion.

102. Check and mate.

103. But you haven't even moved a piece!

104. Irrelevant. I'll win in thirty moves.

105. I'm supposed to win!

106. You can move things with your mind?

107. Why don't I have telekinesis! This is so not fair!

108. I've got it! Mad Scientist says make a space station,

109. out of the emotion you call love!

110. This isn't Me-topia!

111. This is horrible!

112. Technically, it's dystopia.

113. But we can appreciate your attempt at a pun.

114. Yes. To a point.

115. Telepathy? Oh, great.

116. Am I the only one who can't communicate with my thoughts?

117. Meow.

118. No problem, no problem.

119. Just make a dumberer so everyone's stupid again, right?

120. How hard could that be?

121. Meow.

122. You're right. I can't believe we did that twice.

123. Behold, the dumberer!

124. Why didn't that work?

125. Everyone knows building a dumberer is much harder

126. than building a smarterer. Everyone with a brain, that is.

127. Normal laughing is so gauche.

128. Gauche?

129. Yes, gauche. Adjective. Lacking social grace.

130. Crude. Like you.

131. I challenge you to the ultimate game of "mad scientist" says!

132. And no telepathy!

133. Fine. We accept, mouth talker.

134. Mad scientist says calculate the square root

135. of 15,433,340!

136. 3,928.

137. .5298.

138. Mad scientist says figure out the meaning of life!

139. You mean, you don't know?

140. Oh yeah? Build a time machine.

141. There, now will you...

142. Did he just...

143. Oh, and I didn't say 'Mad Scientist says'. Boo-yah.

144. All I must do is make every mutant on this wretched...

145. No! No! No! No! No!

146. So, everyone turned into a complete jerk.

147. Who would have guessed?

148. Obviously not you. I know better than to build a smarterer.

149. Check.

150. That's only because you already did.

151. Check and mate.

152. What? This simply will not do.

153. No, you idiot!

154. Oh that's mature. I'm mortified by your cheating, you cheater.

155. That's only because you didn't think of it first.

156. Who says I didn't?

157. Isn't this fun?

158. Peri, make it stop. Please!

159. Stop? Why?

160. Princess tickle "Pewi" and "Entwee"!

161. Princess love tickle!

162. Ah!

163. Horns above! What the heck is going on here?

164. Whee!

165. Hi there, Two-Le...

166. Just tell me what you two did and I promise it won't hurt.

167. Me.

168. Tickle, tickle, tickle!

169. Sweet mercy.

170. What do we do now?

171. Ah!

172. Whee!

173. Entree, look.

174. Wow. Wow.

175. More than anything ever, I want to drive this car!

176. Yeah. Me too.

177. Woo-hoo! Yeah!

178. Look!

179. Boys! Your order is ready!

180. Blah blah blah, Entree!

181. Blah blah blah, Peri!

182. Peri, this is the first day of the rest of our lives.

183. Don't you mean "Drives"?

184. No, I meant lives.

185. I know! Let's play that game you love.

186. Yeah! What game?

187. The game where you push the really heavy thing

188. with me in it! Oh boy!

189. Aww, have a breather, buddy.

190. After one more trip around the island!

191. Let's go! Whee!

192. You fixed it?

193. More than that! I added drink holders.

194. And a ketchup station.

195. And a new engine!

196. Uh, where'd you get that? Uhh...

197. You know, from a thing.

198. Come on! Let's go for a spin!

199. Wait! It needs a name!

200. From now on, our super special awesome car will be known as...

201. Gordon?

202. Sure. Whatever.

203. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

204. Ah...

205. Hey, Patricia! Like our ride?

206. Where'd you guys get that thing?

207. You know, the thing that just trashed my house.

208. In the jungle. Why?

209. Driving is a big responsibility, you guys.

210. You don't even know, you don't even know.

211. The idea of 10 and 2, do you even know what that means?

212. Or the world as we know it will end!

213. Thanks, Patricia. We'll be sure to do that. Bye!

214. No more chili for you, okay?

215. That was great.

216. It was the best! And I never want to do it again!

217. Hello?

218. Ah!

219. Gordon?

220. Whoa!

221. Entree? What are you doing?

222. Per...

223. I!

224. Hel...

225. P!

226. M...

227. E!

228. Entree?

229. Gordon's gone MAD!

230. Gordon! Bad cart! We don't want to play right now.

231. Just ignore him and he'll stop.

232. Don't look. He only wants attention.

233. Are you sure about this? I mean, Gordon is our responsibility.

234. if you love something, set it free.

235. Or lock it up. I don't remember which.

236. Drive free Gordon. Drive free!

237. Yeah! Go away!

238. Go on, boy. Get out of here. You're on your own now.

239. I will never forget him.

240. Oh man. I thought he'd never leave.

241. What the? Eww, that is disgusting.

242. That's strange.

243. Ahem.

244. Wow, what happened to you Patricia?

245. And you too, Princess!

246. Two Legs Joe!

247. The same thing happened to all of us.

248. And that would be what?

249. You can't just dump Gordon in the jungle, guys,

250. or stuff like this will happen, okay?

251. Stuff like what?

252. Heh. We'll go find Gordon right away, sir!

253. Oil change! Squeegee!

254. Squeegee squeegee squeegee squeegee! Squeegee!

255. Heya, buddy! It's your old pals Peri and Entree.

256. You Remember us? Huh? Huh? Don't you, buddy?

257. I think he remembers!

258. Oh No!

259. This happens to us a lot.

260. What do you want? Whatever it is, we'll get it for you!

261. Please, just let us li...

262. Let's just drive home, Gordon.

263. We can jump a ramp or two on the way. It'll be great.

264. That's right. You're a good car.

265. Oh, little snooky-wookums, who's a good car.

266. Come on, let's go home.

267. No!

268. Gordon!

269. That's for squirting oil on me!

270. He wasn't a bad car. He just wanted to play.

271. We never should have abandoned Gordon.

272. Gordon who?

273. This kind of screaming mutant panic

274. can only hearken one terrible thing:

275. The robot with a sandwich brain!

276. It has a sandwich, man!

277. For a brain!

278. Atomic weapons, space lasers, and even the spiciest mustards

279. are no use against this abomination!

280. We have to eat the brain!

281. You don't know what that'll do to us!

282. Well, we know what not eating it will do!

283. Terror! Sliced thick, with a side of chills!

284. Served open-face with an unsettling strawberry shake!

285. You won't want seconds of...

286. The Robot With A Sandwich Brain! In color.