Spider-Noir 1x8

1. What is that?

2. Turns supers into run-of-the-mill shmucks!

3. You've been in a hole

4. ever since Ruby died, and you've never stopped digging.

5. This is your chance to put that shovel down.

6. I'll have to

7. stick them all.

8. Once they're free and clear, it'll be my turn.

9. No more sick veterans,

10. no more suffering, no more Spider.

11. What is all this?

12. They're all dead?

13. We went to the doctor's lab.

14. - There was never gonna be a way out. - You don't know that.

15. I ain't gonna tell Silvermane. But he's smart.

16. He's gonna find out what you did eventually.

17. No, not now. Come on.

18. Get in! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

19. Let's go!

20. - Shouldn't we get him a doctor? - Nah.

21. He just needs to rest.

22. The hell is that?

23. Whatever it is, it brought the big fella down.

24. What are we gonna do, boss?

25. We are gonna find The Spider.

26. - Get me Ben Reilly. - Get me Ben Reilly.

27. Look at these saps.

28. Lost.

29. You know, I was like them once upon a time.

30. They're blind, they don't even know it.

31. Day after day, playing follow-the-leader.

32. Christ, do you ever shut up?

33. No.

34. Why would I deny the world a moment of my grandeur?

35. Yeah, well,

36. the crash is coming. You just can't feel it yet.

37. Speak for yourself.

38. I'm only getting stronger.

39. Times like this.

40. Give me a chance to reflect.

41. I don't do it much.

42. Not usually the self-congratulatory type, but...

43. God, if you knew where I grew up.

44. The hunger, the scarcity.

45. I lost two brothers before I was even born.

46. It was madness, what I experienced.

47. Do you know the difference between me and the countless other degenerates

48. that came out of that time?

49. A gambler's heart, simple as that.

50. It's not strength...

51. or guile or ruthlessness.

52. It's just courage.

53. And restlessness.

54. It was never enough.

55. I could never stop,

56. never get comfortable.

57. That's my advice to you.

58. "Never get comfortable"?

59. Never be satisfied.

60. Don't accept what you're given.

61. Because nobody's going to give you what you want.

62. They're going to give you what they want to give you for their own reasons.

63. That's enough of that.

64. Story time's over.

65. Need to take a leak.

66. It's Cat. I need to see you.

67. Thank God. I was worried you weren't going to—

68. That's for Ben.

69. I deserved that.

70. And that's for me.

71. Ben put everything on the line for you,

72. and you used that to betray him.

73. That doctor cut him to pieces.

74. I swear I didn't know

75. she was going to hurt him.

76. I thought it was for the best.

77. Ben told me himself he didn't want to be The...

78. Oh.

79. Oh, so now you care about keeping his secret?

80. Telling Faber about Ben wasn't your call to make.

81. I can make it up to him.

82. Oh, that's rich, honey.

83. No, I promise. You just have to trust me.

84. Yeah, I already tried that.

85. You're a liar.

86. A manipulator.

87. I did it for love.

88. For whose love?

89. Flint.

90. But Ben is a good man.

91. I promise I can make it up to him.

92. How?

93. If he gives me the antidote, I can inject Flint and Dirk with it.

94. I can get close to them without causing any suspicion.

95. And it's not your choice to make.

96. Ben can decide for himself.

97. You know, I've been thinking.

98. Who asked you to?

99. See, that there's the problem.

100. Why are we running errands for this old man

101. when we're the ones with all the powers?

102. What do we need him for?

103. I suppose you don't believe in loyalty.

104. Loyalty. Loyalty.

105. What you call "loyalty,"

106. I call "manipulation."

107. What does serving Silvermane get us versus what it gets him, huh?

108. How loyal would he be to you

109. if you didn't follow his orders?

110. You know what? Don't answer that.

111. We'll just ask your old pal Winston.

112. Oh, wait. We can't. He's dead.

113. Hmm?

114. Isn't that his secretary?

115. Oh, yeah.

116. She's nice.

117. Where ya been? Peoples been looking all over for ya.

118. People have been.

119. And which people, specifically?

120. Robbie people for starters.

121. Ben's over at his place.

122. Robbie says he've been run through the ringer.

123. He has been. He... has... been.

124. - What? - Has.

125. Make up your damn mind.

126. - Reilly Investigation— - Janet, honey.

127. Oh. Hey, Hank.

128. Didn't hear it from me, but your boss, Reilly, is in hot, hot water.

129. I don't know what he done,

130. but every precinct in the city's looking for the guy.

131. That's coming straight from the mayor.

132. You watch yourself, honey.

133. Thank you, Hank.

134. Stop it. And stay.

135. Now, if I was giving stage direction,

136. I'd call that, "In a rush to meet someone."

137. Mm. Yeah.

138. - How's the patient? - Alive.

139. But he still doesn't have his powers back.

140. He needs more rest.

141. You still look like a banana.

142. An overripe banana.

143. Those bruises are really settling in,

144. - huh? - Yeah, sure.

145. How do you feel?

146. Worse than I look.

147. How's the other guy?

148. On his way to Niagara Falls

149. with his mother.

150. Listen, I have to tell you something.

151. - Cat asked me to meet her. - What? When?

152. This evening. She wants you to give her the antidote so she can inject Flint

153. and the other one— Leyden.

154. She said she can get close enough, and they wouldn't see it coming.

155. Fool me once.

156. I don't know.

157. It's not such a bad idea.

158. How many times did Lonnie hit you in the head?

159. The woman just finished betraying you.

160. And why do you think she did?

161. For Flint.

162. - She told me herself. - That's right. She wants to save Flint.

163. If she believes this'll help her, you can bet she'll do it.

164. - Who is it? - Little pigs,

165. - little pigs... - Leyden.

166. - ... let me in. - What's he doing here?

167. Or I'll huff, and I'll, uh, puff.

168. And I'll blow your house down.

169. Thank you. Thank you.

170. Uh, thank you.

171. - You look like shit. - What of it?

172. Yeah, what of it? Tell that to Gielgud.

173. Guy said I got the chin like a donkey's asshole.

174. Why do I feel like I've met you before?

175. Because we have, a few nights ago, at Silvermane's penthouse.

176. I sang you the acting song.

177. What's the matter? You didn't like it?

178. No, no, no, no. I mean, before that.

179. Maybe you slept with the wrong guy's wife.

180. - Hmm. - So what the hell

181. happened to you?

182. I took pictures of the right woman's husband.

183. - Hmm. - What do you want?

184. Him. On your feet.

185. The boss wants to talk to you.

186. "Talk to me" talk to me? Or just talk to me?

187. I want to know what kind of goodbye I should give my friends.

188. I don't think you need to divvy up your

189. three worldly possessions just yet.

190. Now get up.

191. All right, I'm coming.

192. I'm coming. Just want to grab my coat first.

193. Don't worry. We'll keep ya nice and toasty.

194. Hey, Reilly,

195. are you listening to me?

196. The thing is... you could have just asked.

197. I thought we were friends.

198. Course we are,

199. but it was a matter of some urgency.

200. I can't have your friend running around the city neutralizing my advantages.

201. So I'll kindly ask you to lift the phone and call your Spider-friend.

202. Nah, I don't think I will.

203. Excuse me?

204. I'm not in the mood to talk to The Spider.

205. The truth is, he's kind of hard to talk to,

206. especially on the phone.

207. Hey, buddy, can you remove the mask so a guy can actually hear?

208. Is this some kind of joke?

209. A piece of humor I'm not grasping?

210. No, I mean it. I genuinely can't understand

211. half of what comes out of his mouth.

212. Well, you've seen him. He wears a stupid sock on his head.

213. - Hmm. - I told you when we first met

214. that your mouth might get you killed one day.

215. Today might just be that day.

216. Nah. You need me.

217. This is a negotiation.

218. You need The Spider. Ipso facto, you need me.

219. Res ipso locutor—

220. Well, I mean, I don't speak Latin.

221. Besides, word on the street is Mayor Morris is interested

222. in Señor Spider, as well.

223. So, gee-whiz, deep pockets on all sides.

224. What's a down-on-his-luck private investigator to do?

225. Okay, then, $500.

226. Oh, the number I'm thinking of starts with a five,

227. but it don't end with a hundred.

228. Hmm?

229. Careful, my friend.

230. You want me to pay you, but you want to continue living after the fact?

231. And that's exactly right.

232. I want to live, as in live-live, and that costs money.

233. At first I was thinking, uh, Santorini,

234. but, no, now I'm thinking France.

235. Feels romantic and safe.

236. Even for a guy with a mouth like mine.

237. A thousand.

238. You wouldn't even miss it if I said ten.

239. It's the principle, fella.

240. Like you say, we're negotiating.

241. - Three. - Two.

242. Deal.

243. Okay. Now that that's settled, Cat,

244. be a diamond and pour Mr. Byrne and myself a glass of

245. the, uh, Green Spot.

246. Get this man a telephone.

247. I would have done it for one.

248. Would have happily paid you ten.

249. It's ringing.

250. Yeah, hi. It's Ben.

251. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm sorry to call so late. I—

252. What?

253. You did what?

254. That's fantastic.

255. Okay, well, listen, I'm here with Silvermane.

256. Tell him no hard feelings about the other day.

257. Bygones should be allowed to be themselves.

258. - Tell him. - He says he wants you to know

259. that there are no hard feelings about the other day.

260. Tell him the bygone thing.

261. And that bygones should be allowed to be, uh...

262. something, and I—

263. Tell him I just want to have a little chat.

264. He just wants to have a little chat.

265. - Tell him— - Oh. You know what? Tell him yourself.

266. Mr. Spider, sir.

267. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.

268. Well, that is something to consider,

269. in regard to, all heretofore relevant ascertained information.

270. Why the hell are you talking like that?

271. I'm doing Ben.

272. The life of Ben Reilly, and what else?

273. I-I don't want you to overestimate the importance of that relationship.

274. Uh-huh.

275. Okay, fair enough.

276. I'll be there.

277. What?

278. He wants the antidote.

279. But he wants The Spider to bring it to him.

280. - He's on his way. - Great. And now, sir,

281. if you don't mind, I'll take my two Gs.

282. Or, as they say in France, I'll have my Cecil B.

283. Deux mille.

284. Good one,

285. but the money was for delivery of The Spider, and not for the phone call.

286. Oh, all right, well, in that case, how about another round?

287. What else you got back there that normal people can't afford?

288. How about something American this time?

289. Maybe some bourbon, or is that not fancy enough for you?

290. Three to one The Spider doesn't show.

291. He'd be wise not to, that's for sure.

292. Why do you want The Spider anyway?

293. He's kind of over the hill, don't you think?

294. I don't know what makes you say that.

295. I think he looks remarkably fit.

296. Besides, he handled that soft clown, no problem.

297. Tell us. Do you think The Spider would have any interest in working for me?

298. I wouldn't hold it against him that he backed the wrong horse.

299. I haven't the faintest idea.

300. The Spider tends to do what The Spider wants to do.

301. He's actually extremely annoying.

302. Yeah.

303. What the hell is going on?

304. I'm earning myself some traveling money.

305. I'd invite you to join me, but we know how that goes.

306. And I could've told Silvermane that you're The Spider.

307. And I could've told him you're his rat.

308. I still can.

309. Guess we've got each other by the throats, then.

310. When The Spider comes,

311. the two of you are not to make a move until I say so.

312. I swear I've met that guy somewhere.

313. Pay attention.

314. Nothing happens until I give the go-ahead.

315. Understood?

316. Aye-aye, mon capitaine.

317. So, are you gonna give me the antidote?

318. You're the perfect distraction. I can do it right now.

319. Funny thing is, I believe you, but I don't have it.

320. Are you serious?

321. What are you two yammering on about?

322. Oh, I was just telling Cat about the French island where I intend

323. to spend the traveling money you're about to pay me.

324. Beautiful sandy beaches,

325. lush valleys, hilltop villages.

326. - Sounds dull. - Agreed. Perfect place to be alone.

327. - Cheers. - Good luck.

328. That's where I know you from.

329. France.

330. I don't have a clue what you're talking about, buddy,

331. and I'm a detective, so buzz off.

332. Oh, no, no, no. I'm certain of it.

333. Meuse-Argonne.

334. You're the fellow that saved us from that POW camp.

335. Hold on.

336. You two know each other?

337. Yeah. Flint knows him, too.

338. You guys are drunk.

339. Never touched a drop in my life.

340. Uh, let me get this straight.

341. Our private detective friend here was in the same POW camp as the two of you?

342. - Lonnie, too. - And Addison.

343. In other words, this man

344. was at the site where all of you got experimented on?

345. And this very same man

346. just happens to be best friends with The Spider?

347. Hmm.

348. I think The Spider hasn't walked

349. through that door yet because he's already sitting right here at my table.

350. You guys are grasping at straws.

351. The reason why I'm chummy with Le Spider is because...

352. because I...

353. I saved his ass at Meuse-Argonne.

354. Yeah, that's right. I mean, this isn't some grand conspiracy.

355. Is that so?

356. It is so.

357. What is this? A parlor trick?

358. You're gonna focus your mind, stick your finger in your ear

359. and peer into my soul?

360. No. I don't think we'll be needing any magic.

361. Save that for the children's birthday parties.

362. Well, then, what? You want to check my pockets for unmarked bills?

363. Here, I'll make it easy for you. I've got, uh...

364. a nickel, and, uh...

365. Oh, not one but— count 'em— two sticks of gum.

366. Jesus.

367. Ah, you're a cool customer.

368. But here's the thing.

369. I'm a bit like you.

370. A detective.

371. I watch. I listen.

372. I keep track of things, up here.

373. Another drink, would you, dear?

374. Absolutely.

375. And just like you,

376. the only person that I am truly loyal to is me.

377. So, if I know a way to find out decisively

378. whether or not you, Ben Reilly, are The Spider,

379. I'll do it no matter the consequences.

380. Do you understand what I'm saying?

381. I can't say that I do.

382. Sit.

383. Now, here's how I see it.

384. Ben Reilly is a private dick who doesn't care about anyone else except himself.

385. But the one thing I know about The Spider is he cares.

386. He's never been passive about innocent deaths.

387. Not on his watch.

388. Not if there's anything he can do about it.

389. I wouldn't know.

390. I would.

391. Give us your gun.

392. The one you think nobody knows about.

393. So...

394. I'm convinced,

395. but I'm not certain.

396. Sure. I'm convinced we're all gonna die, but...

397. there's only one way to be certain.

398. Yeah. Exactly. You're quite clever.

399. Now, I look around this room and I see a bunch of tough elements.

400. Gangsters, mobsters,

401. hardened criminals.

402. Not exactly the type that The Spider would lose any sleep over.

403. Right?

404. But there's one exception.

405. One innocent bystander.

406. One person that The Spider simply could not

407. sit back and allow to die.

408. Cut it out. I'm not in the mood.

409. Well, I wouldn't think you would be.

410. I mean it. It's not funny.

411. Far from it.

412. It's tragic if we lose you.

413. Bad for business, bad for my heart.

414. You know how much you bring me joy.

415. But the way I see it...

416. this is the only way that I can be certain.

417. Let go of me, Finn. Now!

418. My God.

419. It's the best damn show in town.

420. So...

421. if I kill her,

422. then you're just Ben Reilly, a clever private investigator

423. who doesn't care about anybody but himself,

424. or you really are The Spider,

425. and you'll stop me before I pull this trigger.

426. Listen.

427. He's not going to save me,

428. but not because he's a bad man.

429. So, why, then?

430. It's okay, dear. Absolution awaits.

431. Because I broke his heart.

432. - Why'd you do that? - You know why.

433. I want to hear you say it.

434. Because I'm in love with Flint.

435. I'm in love with him,

436. and I wanted to save him and I didn't care who I hurt in the process.

437. Well, at least she admits it.

438. That's right. I admit it.

439. I'm tired of hiding.

440. And I'm tired of lying.

441. You want the rest of it?

442. Cat, don't.

443. I did it because I wanted to save Flint and I wanted to kill you.

444. Desperately.

445. So, you were the one who hired Addison.

446. Yes.

447. You're the one who told the mayor about my booze delivery.

448. Yes.

449. - You're my Judas. - That's right.

450. So go ahead and kill me.

451. But do it because you want me dead,

452. not because you think it'll prove something about Ben.

453. The only thing he's guilty of

454. is being in way over his head.

455. You see, Reilly?

456. That's the difference between convinced...

457. and certain.

458. - No— - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

459. Whoa, whoa!

460. Did I come at a bad time?

461. Not at all.

462. Silvermane was just teaching us a lesson

463. about how to kill a defenseless woman.

464. Sorry about that.

465. Go to hell.

466. Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise?

467. Eh, that's close enough for my taste.

468. - How's it going, Reilly? - Peachy.

469. Look, you wanted me to come, so I came.

470. What do you want?

471. I like that.

472. Straight and to the point.

473. Let's talk business.

474. Yeah, let's.

475. I don't believe for a second

476. that you're working for the mayor.

477. You're too bright and he's too dumb.

478. So why don't you come work for me?

479. You can't beat us. Why not join us?

480. Who says I can't beat you?

481. Me, for one.

482. I'll second that.

483. I'm sorry,

484. are you forgetting that I'm The Spider?

485. And I can kick both your asses?

486. Actually, not to overstep,

487. but I suggest you hear Mr. Byrne out.

488. I-I'm sorry, you want me to listen to Silvermane?

489. I'm merely saying, if we're being honest,

490. you're not as young as you once were.

491. Oh, I'm actually in great shape.

492. Yeah. Fit as a fiddle.

493. - Downright spry. - I'm merely suggesting

494. you might not want to leap headlong into confrontation

495. so soon after your big battle with Lonnie Lincoln.

496. Oh.

497. Yeah. You might want to take a break.

498. You know, rest up.

499. Right.

500. So, why don't you give him the antidote

501. and you give me my two G's and we can all be on

502. - our merry ways? - Yeah.

503. My, oh, my.

504. How interesting.

505. So many plotlines to follow.

506. How about we add one more?

507. Found her skulking around outside.

508. - I'm so sorry, Ben. I shouldn't have— - Quiet, lady.

509. And look what she had on her, boss.

510. W-What? You-you wanted me to just bring the stuff in here?

511. Seemed dumb.

512. You're right, this is much better.

513. Huh.

514. So, this is what the fuss is all about, huh?

515. Bring it here.

516. Yeah, yeah, just give me one second there.

517. How's that feel?

518. Why the hell did you do that?

519. Just wanted to see if it worked.

520. Yep. Seems like it does.

521. Give it here, buddy.

522. What, these?

523. Yeah. No games.

524. Oh.

525. But what if I want to play a game?

526. And let's call it "Why Should I?"

527. I'm not in the business of explaining myself.

528. Not to you, not to anybody.

529. Now hand it over.

530. The Spider's no threat now.

531. So, I'm wondering,

532. why is it that you're so keen

533. on having whatever's in these syringes?

534. You see, I think

535. it's because you want to control us.

536. You want to have power over us.

537. Flint, take care of this guy for me.

538. Otherwise, why don't I just smash these last two vials,

539. and we'll just call it a day?

540. Flint, you're still with me, son.

541. You both are.

542. You know I would never touch a hair on her head.

543. You know what to do.

544. Does he?

545. Now, his girlfriend, she knew what to do.

546. You just didn't have the balls.

547. Careful.

548. He's not your friend, Flint.

549. He's not even your boss.

550. He's your puppet master.

551. Pulling on your strings

552. and making you dance.

553. But why let him?

554. Look at him.

555. He's not special.

556. He's just an old man in an expensive suit,

557. fighting to stay relevant.

558. Consider your words carefully, my boy.

559. They may be your last.

560. Now...

561. let's see who's behind the mask.

562. What the hell?

563. The reporter?

564. Holy sh—

565. Uh...

566. Robbie? Come on.

567. Hijo de tu madre.

568. Duck!

569. Ben, behind you!

570. - Ben. - Robbie.

571. Robbie. Is he okay?

572. Yeah, I think so.

573. I get why you don't like this job.

574. Hi, fellas.

575. Can I get you a drink?

576. - Is that The Spider? - What's going on here?

577. Lookie, lookie.

578. All right. Here goes nothing.

579. Come and get it.

580. Oh, no.

581. What happened?

582. After all I did for you,

583. it breaks my heart that you'd betray me like that.

584. No, it breaks your heart that you didn't see it was me.

585. Is this because of that dentist?

586. You'd have never have been happy with him,

587. filling cavities in some New Jersey suburb.

588. I saved your life when I got rid of him.

589. First the dentist, then Flint.

590. You sure can pick them, can't you?

591. That's right. I can pick my men,

592. I can pick my dresses

593. and I can pick my songs.

594. Liar. You loved being kept.

595. You loved being cared for.

596. Fed, dressed.

597. Painted head to toe.

598. Not a hair out of place.

599. Not a care in the world but that perch on the stage.

600. The focus of all admiration.

601. Never be satisfied. Is that what you said?

602. Don't accept what's given to you.

603. My one regret...

604. is I only get to kill you once.

605. The truth is, my love...

606. I'm happy it's you.

607. Oh, come on!

608. You know, I suppose I should thank you.

609. For saving your life back in France?

610. If we're being honest...

611. I have regrets.

612. No, no, no, no.

613. For giving me the one thing I always wanted.

614. Look at me now, Ma!

615. I'm a star!

616. You're not a star.

617. But you are sick.

618. And the stronger your power becomes, the sicker you get.

619. But I can help you.

620. No, thanks, pal.

621. Save your cure for the saps.

622. Is he all right?

623. Ah...

624. Behind you!

625. That's not good.

626. "The Spider," huh?

627. Looks more like a dog to me.

628. A bastard cur, at that.

629. Hey. Look at him squirm.

630. Some hero you turned out to be.

631. - I think you proved your point. - You kidding me?

632. I've waited my whole life for this.

633. My star turn on Broadway.

634. A sold-out show.

635. Packed house, standing room only.

636. Oh, boo yourself.

637. Say goodbye to The Spider, everyone.

638. Stop!

639. Oh, honey.

640. I don't believe for one second you're gonna pull that trigger.

641. Oh.

642. Hmm.

643. What a shame.

644. No!

645. Aww. Well, well, well.

646. Ladies and gentlemen, you are in luck.

647. Tonight will be a double bill.

648. Featuring me, your leading man Megawatt,

649. versus the Sandman.

650. No, I don't think he likes his new nickname.

651. Aww.

652. It seems like our show has reached its final act.

653. The denouement.

654. Good night, sweet prince.

655. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

656. Well done, Spider.

657. I still have one left.

658. Why?

659. You know why.

660. So does he.

661. - Spider! - You look great.

662. - Thank you, Spider. - Really appreciate it.

663. Rest in peace.

664. You're looking well.

665. Thanks to you.

666. Can we have a moment?

667. Yeah.

668. I love Flint.

669. But in a different world, I really would have run away with you.

670. You know that, right?

671. It's one thing to use a guy.

672. It's another to try and keep him on the hook

673. after you've set sail for shore.

674. Go to hell, Ben.

675. I have.

676. I'm keeping it warm for you.

677. Thank you!

678. Thank you, New York.

679. Proud to be your mayor!

680. You believed in me, and...

681. You know, I still don't know if he's a Republican or a Democrat.

682. Well, what'd it say on the little box when you voted for him?

683. I put the X where it said, "Vote for crap."

684. You see that?

685. You see how it wobbles. Let's have it not do that.

686. You heard the lady. No wobblin'.

687. How's a guy supposed to do his geometricals on a wobbly desk?

688. Well, back to the salt mines.

689. So, after all that,

690. I get a newspaper to run,

691. Morris wins, Flint gets the girl

692. and Janet gets a new office.

693. What do you get?

694. A new lease on life?

695. I'll just settle for a really good hot dog.

696. The paperweight lives.

697. Reilly Ruiz Investigations.

698. Mm-hmm.

699. Oh, absolutely, we're open. I can slot you in at...

700. You know what? You're in luck, we just had a cancellation for 2:00 p.m.

701. Great.

702. See you then.

703. Why 2:00?

704. Makes us seem busy.

705. Also, uh, I want that hot dog.

706. - Robbie's buying. - Hmm?

707. What? You run your own newspaper now.

708. Yeah, and it pays worse than the Bugle.

709. Come on, Robertson. You don't want to buy me a hot dog?