Spider-Man 1x4

1. Spider-Man.

2. Spider-Man.

3. Come on, get the lead out of your web, Spidey.

4. It's five minutes till midnight,

5. and I was supposed to meet Betty Brant

6. at the Daily Bugle's New Year's party hours ago.

7. If I don't get there quick, it'll be the second time this week I've stood her up.

8. And poor ol' Peter will be on her enemies list for life.

9. Oh, no.

10. It's the Black Cat.

11. And she's heading for the New Year's party in J.J.'s office.

12. If I follow her to see what she's up to,

13. Betty will be through with me for sure.

14. Aah. Give it up, web head.

15. You never could turn down a date with danger.

16. I can't imagine where in the world Peter is.

17. I'd forget about Parker, Betty.

18. He probably dressed up as Al Capone

19. and got thrown in jail.

20. Mmm. This is quite a newsworthy event.

21. Ever bigwig in New York is here tonight,

22. and that means diamond necklaces,

23. gold watches, silver bracelets,

24. not to mention plenty of cash.

25. A fitting purr-rize

26. for the greatest cat burglar in the world.

27. But really? Don't you feel the mayor

28. has made a complete monkey out of himself lately?

29. Madam, I am the mayor!

30. Oh. Well.

31. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet, everybody!

32. It's almost midnight.

33. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

34. Happy New Year!

35. Thanks. Happy New Year to you, too.

36. Any minute now and I will cleaned out everyone at this party.

37. For you, Black Cat, the party's over.

38. Well, if it isn't New York's swinging wall crawler.

39. How about I call you later?

40. Here, kitty, kitty.

41. Come to Spidey.

42. Don't come any closer, Spider-Man,

43. or you'll find out just how mean

44. this little kitty really is.

45. Gee, if you're that dangerous,

46. I guess I should just put my hands up in the air

47. and give up.

48. Just a minute!

49. What do you think you're doing, Spider-Man?

50. I'll have you arrested

51. for ruining my party,

52. disturbing my guests.

53. This guest of yours is the Black Cat,

54. cat burglarpar excellence.

55. She's looted everyone at your party.

56. Here you go, J.J.

57. You can hand these little trinkets

58. back to your guests now.

59. All right, black beauty.

60. We got a date with the chief of police.

61. Don't think I believe this for a minute, web head.

62. It's one of your tricks!

63. It's a good thing I cameequipped for every emergency.

64. Hey, who let the cat out of the bag?

65. Who do you think, sticky fingers?

66. Happy landings!

67. Hey, is that any way to treat me on our first date?

68. See what happens when you let a black cat

69. cross your path?

70. [Spider-Man] Phew.

71. That girl's got guts.

72. You wouldn't catch me doing that without a spider line.

73. Uh, hi, Betty.

74. Well, aren't you a little late, Peter?

75. The party was last night, remember?

76. Gee. I'm sorry, Betty. I...

77. Never mind the excuses.

78. That's the last time you'll stand me up.

79. Ah, give me another chance.

80. I'll... I'll make a New Year's resolution.

81. I'll never do it again.

82. Scout's honor.

83. In fact, I'll take you to lunch to prove it, okay?

84. Well, o... okay.

85. Parker!

86. What's the matter with you?

87. Why weren't you at my party last night?

88. Uh, hi, J.J.

89. Well, uh, you might say I was there in spirit.

90. Balderdash.

91. Thanks to you, I didn't get pictures of Spider-Man

92. and that feline fiasco, the Black Cat.

93. Is that any way to talk about a lady?

94. But I'll forgive you this time, honey.

95. Don't you try to threaten me,

96. you alley cat.

97. Get out of my office before I call the cops.

98. I just figured seeing as how you hate Spider-Man so much

99. you might be interested

100. in how I'm going to ruin his reputation.

101. Well, now that begins to sound interesting.

102. Why don't you forget about those things I said to you

103. and just tell me what you had in mind.

104. All you have to do is print my challenge

105. on the front page of the Daily Bugle

106. stating that the Black Cat is going to steal

107. the million-dollar Maltese Mouse.

108. And if Spider-Man tries to stop me...

109. You're wasting your time, Black Cat.

110. Spider-Man will make catnip out of you.

111. Say, you're kind of cute for a wise guy.

112. Too bad I don't have time to pursue this relationship.

113. Well, don't just stand there, Parker.

114. There's a story I want you to cover.

115. Show him the details, Ms. Brant.

116. The famous Maltese Mouse is arriving from France

117. at Dock 13 in a few hours.

118. It's going to be displayed on the Johnny Griffon Show tonight

119. before a live national audience.

120. And be sure to get plenty of pictures.

121. Especially the ones that make Spider-Man look bad.

122. Careful with that crate. It's worth a million bucks!

123. [Spider-Man] They're loading the Maltese Mouse

124. into that armored truck.

125. The Black Cat could show up at any moment.

126. I'll just tag along and play watch dog.

127. I think I'll check out

128. this diamond-eyed mouse sculpture,

129. and see what I'm wasting my time about.

130. Sure is a big crate for a little mouse.

131. - Huh?

132. Those are the strangest-looking mice I've ever seen.

133. What's this?

134. "When the Spider-Man's away,

135. the Black Cat will play."

136. Oh, great, I've been had.

137. This armored truck is a decoy setup by the Black Cat.

138. It's back to the dock

139. before the Black Cat steals

140. that Maltese thing-ama-what.

141. Perfect timing.

142. There she is, Mr. Goldblum.

143. Safer than a fish in a net.

144. The Maltese Mouse.

145. The dock's just ahead.

146. Oh, no!

147. I'm gonna miss my lunch date with Betty.

148. I better call her quick.

149. Just my luck. Someone's using the phone booth.

150. Say, where have I seen that guy before?

151. Well, no time to worry about it now.

152. Hello, Betty. This is Peter.

153. Look, uh, this Black Cat story is starting to get real hot.

154. And I'm afraid I'm gonna have to miss our lunch date.

155. I thought you were through standing me up, Peter.

156. Honestly, Betty,

157. this is the last time.

158. Tell you what. Why don't I meet you

159. at the Johnny Griffon Show tonight?

160. Well, I don't know.

161. And afterwards I'll take you out to dinner.

162. Okay, Peter.

163. I'll give you one more chance.

164. Great. See you later, Betty.

165. Now that I made that date,

166. I hope I hadn't missed my date with the Black Cat.

167. I'll just stick my trusty camera up here

168. in case I do anything so spectacular

169. it deserves a place in history.

170. Well, everything looks in order, Captain.

171. The Maltese Mouse is in perfect condition.

172. Real nice of you gentlemen

173. to keep it in such good shape for me.

174. I wouldn't want to steal anything

175. that had a flaw in it.

176. Why, it's the Black Cat! Stop her!

177. It's time for the Black Cat to create a blackout.

178. Gee. I hadn't had so many cute guys after me

179. since I dropped out of high school.

180. Quick, we got to get out here

181. before she gets the Maltese Mouse.

182. Oh, no.

183. It's... It's gone!

184. Don't worry, fellas.

185. I'll take good care of it.

186. That is, until I take its diamond eyes out

187. and sell them on the black market.

188. Hey, watch where you're going, lady.

189. Lady nothing. That was the Black Cat.

190. Well, hello there, black beauty.

191. Looks like your bragging news headline

192. should have been printed in the funny pages.

193. I told you before.

194. It's dangerous to let the Black Cat cross your path.

195. Gee. I forgot.

196. I guess the only thing I consider unlucky

197. is spilled web fluid.

198. I am curious about one thing, though.

199. What made you decide to steal the Maltese Mouse?

200. Careful. Didn't you ever hear the expression

201. curiosity killed the Spider-Man?

202. Not even my

203. spider strength can break me free of this.

204. Oh, great.

205. It looks like I don't have to worry about drowning.

206. That ship's propeller is going to get me first.

207. It's no use. I can't get free.

208. I've only got one chance.

209. And if I miscalculate,

210. the local fish will be eating Spidey hors d'oevres.

211. I never knew smog could taste so good.

212. That feline finagler is getting away.

213. - Spider-Man, you're alive. - Right.

214. Cat's aren't the only ones with nine lives.

215. In that case,

216. there's one down and eight to go.

217. Aah. She's beginning to get on my nerves.

218. I've had all I'm gonna take

219. of your pussyfooting, sweetheart.

220. This will keep one black cat I know from straying.

221. And I'll just separate the cat and the mouse.

222. You underestimate me, Spidey.

223. Oh, no.

224. I wish I didn't have to be so rough on him.

225. He's so cute.

226. Whoa, boy!

227. Time to make like a banana and split.

228. Sheesh. I've done some pretty strange things in my life,

229. but that's the first time I ever rescued a car lot.

230. Oh, no.

231. The Black Cat slipped away again.

232. Uh, Spider-Man, I want to thank you.

233. You rescued the Maltese Mouse.

234. How can we ever repay you?

235. Oh, you can start by carving my head on Mount Rushmore.

236. That's very funny, Spider-Man.

237. Uh, you know,

238. it's obvious we aren't properly equipped

239. to protect the Maltese Mouse

240. in the face of the Black Cat threat.

241. You're the only one who can help us.

242. You must guard the Maltese Mouse when it appears

243. on the Johnny Griffon Show tonight.

244. Me? Guard a mouse on television?

245. You got to be nuts. Forget it.

246. We'll pay you double

247. what our security guards are getting.

248. What time do you want me at the studio?

249. 8:00. Just before showtime.

250. I'll see you there.

251. That Spider-Man is falling right into my trap.

252. With him guarding the Maltese Mouse on national television,

253. I can make a fool out of him in front of 50 million people.

254. I told you I wouldn't let you down this time, Betty.

255. Well, you know, Peter, a girl can only be stood up so many times

256. before she gives up.

257. Never again, Betty.

258. And to make up

259. for all those times I canceled,

260. after the show tonight,

261. I'm gonna take you out

262. to the finest restaurant in New York.

263. Press.

264. Mr. Jameson, what are you doing here?

265. I got a phone call from the Black Cat.

266. Said I shouldn't miss this show.

267. Something about a big surprise.

268. So that's why she picked the Maltese Mouse...

269. So she can challenge Spidey before a million viewers.

270. Did you say something, Peter?

271. Why, uh...

272. I said, "I can't imagine

273. a little mouse being worth

274. a million dollars."

275. Who... who's there!

276. Nobody here but us cats.

277. Get 'em!

278. Shoo, shoo! Skat! Get away from me!

279. Let's see.

280. That's what I need.

281. The perfect prop to trap a Spider-Man.

282. There goes my spider sense.

283. I think it's time for Spidey to make his personal appearance.

284. Uh, I got to get some more, uh, film

285. in case the Black Cat shows up.

286. Be back in a minute.

287. Mm. The Maltese Mouse is do on stage any minute

288. and Spider-Man's nowhere to be found.

289. That's probably because no one told me I was lost.

290. Good. Now, be careful with this, Spider-Man.

291. And watch out for the Black Cat.

292. Who cares about the Black Cat?

293. I'm more concerned about my stage fright.

294. Thank you. Thank you.

295. You look like a great group.

296. And tonight, I'm going to dispense

297. with my hilarious monologue

298. and get right to our special presentation.

299. Not only do we have the fabulous

300. million dollar Maltese Mouse,

301. but here tonight

302. to personally guard the little critter

303. from the notorious Black Cat

304. we have New York's most famous swinger.

305. Here's Spidey!

306. Well, that was quite an entrance, Spider-Man.

307. What convinced you to appear on national television

308. to guard this marvelous little mouse?

309. Money, what else?

310. I see.

311. I think our audience would like to know

312. how you manage to keep your true identity a secret?

313. Simple. I don't tell anybody who I am.

314. I wonder what's taking Peter so long.

315. Don't worry about the bad jokes, Spidey dear.

316. Any minute now,

317. you'll be the laughing stock

318. of New York City.

319. Well, how about showing the audience

320. some of your sticky web tricks, Spidey?

321. Why, sure.

322. Here's one.

323. Why, you... Put me down, web head,

324. or I'll sue you for all your worth!

325. Whatever you say, J.J.

326. I think it's about time

327. the real show started.

328. What was that?

329. It's the Black Cat!

330. Oh, great. Just when my routine was starting to get hot.

331. Hey, Florence. You got to see this.

332. Spider-Man's doing a dance number

333. with some cat lady.

334. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

335. Come to Spidey.

336. I promise you'll get plenty of fish and milk in prison.

337. Spider-Man or Spider-mouse,

338. you'll have to catch me first.

339. Serves you right, web head.

340. Now, the world will know

341. you're nothing but a klutz in red tights.

342. You better snap to it, Spidey,

343. or they won't even make comic books about you anymore.

344. Give it up, Cat!

345. Not even O. J. Simpson

346. can outrun the ol' web slinger.

347. Who said anything about running, Spidey?

348. I'm taking a cab.

349. If crime doesn't pay,

350. how come she's got cab fare and I haven't?

351. Oh! Where to, lady?

352. Anywhere and step on it.

353. Time for a little Olympic web skiing.

354. I hate to do this to you, Spidey,

355. but you asked for it.

356. This is where I get off. Hit the brakes.

357. Oh, no!

358. Oh, wonderful.

359. I'm caught in my own webbing.

360. And just my luck, it's a real strong batch.

361. Hang in there, Spidey.

362. The Black Cat is about to cross your path for the last time.

363. Where's the Boy Scouts when you need them?

364. Well, well, Spidey dear.

365. Looks like our cat and mouse games are finally over.

366. Now you'll see that there's more than one way

367. to skin a Spider-Man.

368. Wait a minute.

369. I think my luck may have finally changed.

370. Now, I'll just collect my prize

371. and show my fans I'm still the top swinger in town.

372. Look, it's Spider-Man,

373. and he's got the Black Cat.

374. See that this wildcat gets caged.

375. Spider-Man, you were terrific.

376. And I'm sure our viewers

377. are going to remember this date

378. for a long, long time.

379. Oh, no. Speaking of dates,

380. I'd better change and get back to Betty before it's too late.

381. I... I'm sorry it took me so long, Betty.

382. Hope I didn't miss anything too exciting.

383. Don't worry about it, Peter.

384. The only thing you're going to miss

385. is your next date with me!

386. Uh, J. J., what do you say

387. you and I have a night on the town?

388. Well, sure! Why not?

389. Don't work too hard, Parker.

390. Who says the good guy always gets the girl?