Spider-Man 1x2

1. [theme music]

2. [narrator] Spider-Man

3. [meow]

4. [growls]

5. [narrator] Spider-Man

6. [trumpet playing]

7. Here's my speech for the emergency meeting at the United Nations tonight.

8. See that the Secretary of State gets a copy.

9. Engine boosters to full power.

10. Air Force One will soon be ours.

11. [beeping]

12. [ominous music]

13. We're caught in some sort of force field.

14. This is Air Force One to Kennedy Tower.

15. Mayday! Mayday!

16. Something's jamming our signals.

17. Whew. Looks like I made it in time,

18. and if I can get some good pictures of the President,

19. I may be able to make a couple of extra bucks,

20. not to mention prove to my sweet old publisher J. J.

21. That I can take decent shots of someone other than Spider-Man.

22. Say, any word on when Air Force One is supposed to arrive?

23. Haven't you heard? The President's jet is half an hour overdue.

24. This could be the biggest story of the year.

25. [Peter thinking] And it could be just the kindof story that needs Spider-Man

26. to see that it has a happy ending.

27. Hmm. Got to move fast before someone sees me.

28. Good old spider webbing.

29. The next best thing to a clothes closet.

30. [man] I don't understand it.

31. Air Force One has just disappeared. [beeping]

32. It's off the radar screen. [beeping]

33. Last position was somewhere over Jersey City.

34. Better contact the White House.

35. Hmm. Whatever went wrong, the answer must be in Jersey City.

36. Maybe Spidey can find the President,

37. even though I didn't vote for him.

38. It'll take too long to reach Jersey by web swinging.

39. Maybe I can rent a plane around here.

40. Can I help you, sonny? The name's Wilbur Moses.

41. This is my Old Time Air Museum.

42. Say, that's a mighty fancy new astronaut suit you're wearing.

43. [chuckles] Yeah. Say, Pop,

44. any way I can hire a plane and pilot?

45. Hoo-hoo! You're in luck, Mister.

46. - I'll fly you myself. - That's luck?

47. You're darn right. I'm a World War I flying ace.

48. Well listen, I shot down 23...

49. - That's great, but how much? - Gonna cost you $20 an hour.

50. 20 bucks?

51. All I got is $1.98.

52. That'll get you 10 minutes! Come on!

53. That'll give me time to finish the story.

54. - We're flying in that? - You're dern tootin'.

55. What did you expect, the Starship Enterprise?

56. Well, at least I got a window seat.

57. [Doctor Doom] They'll never catch my blend von radar

58. with my anti-radar shield.

59. Robot K-12, activate surgical computer.

60. Once I've attached this remote mind implant,

61. the President's thoughts will be under my control.

62. Hey, sonny! Are you okay?

63. Are you kidding? I'd have been better off hitchhiking.

64. Uh-oh. My spider sense is tingling.

65. That means danger's in the air.

66. Wow. Look at the size of that.

67. It's some sort of a futuristic blimp.

68. There's only one man I know

69. who could create an overgrown balloon like that.

70. Hey, Lindbergh!

71. You got to get me closer to that blimp!

72. Whatever you say, sonny!

73. Okay, Pop! Thanks for the lift!

74. Nothing around here.

75. I wonder what's behind this door.

76. That'll teach me to open doors without knocking.

77. You sure have a funny way of saying hello.

78. - Hey! - [thud]

79. You know something? If I didn't know better,

80. I'd begin to think you don't want to be friends.

81. I'll just use this pipe to...

82. Uh-oh. You're no pipe.

83. Okay. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

84. Since you both feel like fighting, here, be my guest.

85. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to see a man about a plane.

86. Aha!

87. Ah. The jackpot.

88. [Doctor Doom] Wrong, web swinger.

89. You're at the mercy of your deadliest enemy.

90. Doctor Doom. Gosh!

91. I wish I'd brought my autograph book.

92. Your attempts at humor bore me, Spider-Man.

93. Fortunately, I won't have to listen to them much longer.

94. Right, lead head, because I'm going to stop you, right here and now.

95. You never learn, do you?

96. Oh, boy. I'm beginning to think

97. that armor-plated gargoyle doesn't like me.

98. Well, at least the President is all right.

99. Or is he?

100. Hmm. I can't believe Doctor Doom would have hijacked the President's jet

101. just for the fun of it.

102. Well, while I'm trying to figure it out,

103. I might as well get some exclusive photos.

104. Now that the President's safe, old Spidey better split while he has the chance.

105. Oh, no! My clothes are gone.

106. And I think I can guess what happened.

107. Well, only one thing I can do.

108. Sheesh.

109. I wonder how many other superheroes

110. have aunts who wait for them to come home at night.

111. There, it is done.

112. Now that the representative from South Africa has been mind-programmed,

113. all of the world leaders on Earth are under my control,

114. except for the Secretary General of the United Nations.

115. Once I take care of him, I will electronically control

116. all of the minds of the entire UN assembly.

117. And when they meet tomorrow in special session,

118. I, Doctor Doom,

119. shall be voted Master of the World.

120. My plan is foolproof.

121. But just in case,

122. this nuclear-powered flying robot

123. will see to it that Spider-Man never bothers me again.

124. Oh, no. I'll never make it to the Daily Bugle in time for the morning deadline.

125. And with my last $1.98 gone, I can't even afford a bus ride.

126. Guess I'll just have to go by Spider-Man express.

127. Daily Bugle dead ahead.

128. My spider line snapped. Now what do I do?

129. I don't get it. My webbing is stronger than nylon.

130. What could have cut it?

131. Oh. There's the answer.

132. Must be one of Doctor Doom's high-flying flunkies.

133. Next time I want to get photos to the Bugle, I'll just mail them in.

134. Hmm. Just my luck. A robot with a force field.

135. [grunts]

136. Listen, pal, I'm sure you must be lonely,

137. but this is no way to win friends.

138. Come on, Spidey. You can do it.

139. Oh. Good thing I took my vitamins this morning.

140. High-flying bucket of bolts took me by surprise.

141. But my web shooter ought to rattle his rivets.

142. Oh, no. It's jammed.

143. Come on, webby baby. Do it!

144. I've got to unstick this thing, or they'll need an eraser to get me off the pavement.

145. Did it.

146. [people shouting]

147. Boy, some people can't take no for an answer.

148. Batter up!

149. Doom should program his robots with better manners.

150. He didn't even say goodbye.

151. - Hi, Betty. - Hi, Peter.

152. Say, you're late. J. J.'s been asking about you.

153. Listen, Betty, before he gets a chance to chew me out,

154. I wonder if you'd give him these photos that I've taken of the...

155. Parker! You good-for-nothing excuse for a photographer,

156. where have you been?

157. Uh, sorry, Mr. Jameson.

158. I'm only an hour late.

159. How'd you like to buy

160. some photos of the President?

161. Forget it, Parker.

162. - My other photographers beat you to it. - Oh, well.

163. I guess that means you don't want these candid shots

164. I took of the President just after his plane disappeared last night.

165. How'd you get those?

166. Uh-uh. Remember our bargain.

167. I never reveal my photo secrets.

168. [thinking] And, speaking of secrets,

169. what in the world is that thing on the backof the President's neck.

170. Give me those photos! Now we're even for you being late.

171. Excuse me, Mr. Jameson. All our reporters are on assignment.

172. We've got no one to cover that special session of the UN today.

173. Say, why don't I cover it, Uncle Jonah?

174. Now that's a fine idea, Mortimer. I'm glad I thought of it.

175. [chuckles] I wish you could be more like my nephew here, Parker.

176. He's attentive, obedient, on time.

177. [thinking] Not to mention freaky, funky, and flaky.

178. All right, good. You cover the UN meeting, Mortimer.

179. And take Parker with you. You'll need a photographer.

180. Right, Uncle Jonah. Maybe I can teach him something about good reporting.

181. Now you keep your eyes open, Parker.

182. When I tell you, start snapping.

183. Oh, yeah, sure.

184. Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

185. I am risking my life to tell you of a grave matter which faces all members

186. of the United Nations.

187. And... And so it is with... With great concern that I must warn you

188. that at this very moment there are among you...

189. [coughing]

190. You must listen... [coughing].

191. Many of the delegates among you... [cough]

192. Have... have had their minds taken o-over. [coughing]

193. [cough] What a story.

194. [cough] Start snapping, Parker.

195. [coughing] Ohh...

196. Only my super spider breath has kept me from passing out.

197. They're abducting the Secretary General,

198. and there's nothing I can do about it, as Peter Parker.

199. Doom's blimp.

200. Well, it figures. He's behind all this.

201. But I never thought he'd throw a party without inviting me.

202. Hold it right there, you walking erector sets.

203. What's the matter, you forget how to say hello?

204. You were foolish to return to my ship.

205. Haven't you learned your lesson, Spider-Man?

206. Start with 2 plus 2, and I'll give it another try.

207. Though where you're going, there are no jokes.

208. For the Secretary General and myself, I have other plans.

209. Bon voyage, Spider-Man.

210. Thanks. I'll send you a postcard.

211. Oh, great. As if things weren't bad enough,

212. look where this bag of hot air's headed.

213. Remove the sleep gas.

214. [coughing]

215. [Mortimer] Parker?

216. Parker? That chicken, he must have split.

217. We shall now vote for a new world leader.

218. I nominate Doctor Doom.

219. All in favor say, "Aye."

220. [members of UN] Aye!

221. Oh, no. This is impossible.

222. Doctor Doom is Master of the World.

223. If I don't do something soon, it'll be bye-bye Spidey.

224. If I can just shoot my web line and turn off that freeze ray.

225. No way.

226. I can't even turn my hand

227. to point it in the right direction.

228. Looks like curtains for my favorite web spinner. Web spinner!

229. Hey, that's it.

230. If I can fire a super-hard wad of web fluid

231. and punch a hole in the skin of this overgrown balloon,

232. then the released air pressure will act as a jet,

233. blow the whole blimp away from Miss Liberty.

234. Come on, Spidey strength, don't fail me now.

235. [grunting]

236. [grunts] Score one for the old web slinger.

237. Now to get back to Doc Doom.

238. Now that I am the appointed leader

239. of all seven of Earth's continents...

240. [Spider-Man] That's what you think, tin head.

241. You forgot about your friendly neighborhood web spinner.

242. You apparently do not understand, Spider-Man.

243. I am now Master of the World.

244. Look, I don't care if you're master of Meldan's Supermarket.

245. [men] No! No! Stop him!

246. [men shouting]

247. I don't get it. You weren't kidding.

248. Correct, my web-headed friend. And there's nothing you can do about it.

249. Guards! Take this miserable traitor away.

250. So, it's play time again.

251. Okay, guys, it takes two to tumble.

252. This is Doctor Doom to Robot Leader G97.

253. Bring the captured army to Mind Control Station 8.

254. [Spider-Man] I should have figured it out before.

255. Doom wasn't elected legally.

256. He used one of his electronic gizmos to control the minds of the world leaders.

257. That's what I saw on the President's neck in the photo I took of him.

258. And now that I know, what am I going to do about it?

259. With my camera stuck to the wall,

260. I'll get some great pictures of my battle with Doctor Doom.

261. That is, if I ever live to sell them to the Bugle.

262. With the entire world at my command,

263. the Empire of Doom shall reign on Earth forever.

264. Oh, say it isn't so.

265. I'd sure hate to see that ugly mug of yours in my history book.

266. Spider-Man.

267. You've disturbed me for the last time.

268. Hey!

269. Oh, boy. I just saw enough stars to pack the Academy Awards.

270. Okay. The fun's over. It's time to put plan A into effect,

271. and it better work because there isn't any plan B.

272. Robots Z4 and 5, destroy Spider-Man.

273. It's too late, Doomsy! Your robots are under my control now.

274. Okay, kiddies. Spidey says take care of your loud-mouthed leader.

275. Get back, you mechanical misfits.

276. You're mine. I made you.

277. You've won this battle, Spider-Man.

278. But you haven't heard the last of Doctor Doom.

279. All right, playmates, it's time to remove those time control gadgets.

280. Hup, hup, hup.

281. The biggest story in the Bugle's history,

282. and we don't have any photographs.

283. Where is that pest Parker?

284. I don't know, Uncle Jonah.

285. Last I saw of him is when he deserted me at the UN.

286. It was just when the action got a little rough.

287. - Did you call me, J. J.? - Parker, you two-bit deserter!

288. I ought to sue you for high-tailing it out of the UN

289. and leaving my nephew alone to face Spider-Man and that other maniac.

290. Who said I left? I just hid.

291. I figured Spider-Man would return to the scene and take care of Doctor Doom.

292. But look at these.

293. Get out your checkbook, J. J. These are worth a mint.

294. Now that I have some bucks again, how about you and me, Betty?

295. There's a great flick at the Bijou

296. about a strange super-guy from another planet

297. who's allergic to green rocks.

298. Sounds great, Petey.

299. [phone rings]

300. It's for you, Parker.

301. Peter, this is your Aunt May. It's getting late, dear.

302. You'd better come home now.

303. You need your sleep. There's school tomorrow.

304. Don't forget...

305. [theme music]