Spider-Man 1x11

Directed by

Triangle of Evil led by Stuntman forces Spider-Man to survive deadly stunts.

Request examples:

!req Spider-Man 1x11 [02:32]
!req Spider-Man 1x11 [Spider-Man 1x11]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Spider-Man 1x11 [10-11]; !req Spider-Man 1x11 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Spider-Man.

2. Spider-Man.

3. Stop right on your teeth, old man.

4. Yeah, just hand over the wallet and the old lady's ring.

5. Now, that had a nice ring to it.

6. It's Spider-Man, the criminal!

7. Correction, dear. It's Spider-Man, our hero.

8. And we must thank him.

9. Thank you, ma'am. I've got an aunt just like you,

10. and I'm late to see her.

11. Bye.

12. - Peter? - What's up, Aunt May?

13. I'm afraid we're in trouble, Peter.

14. Oh, the monthly bills.

15. We're running out of money.

16. You really had me worried.

17. Why don't you let me mellow out with the tube for a few minutes?

18. I'll look 'em over.

19. And those are just a few of the incredible,

20. amazing feats you'll see on Beyond Belief.

21. By the way, folks, if you have a stunt that's beyond belief,

22. - you can win $50,000... - Hmm.

23. These bills are beyond belief,

24. and I haven't got a chance of paying them.

25. Oh, Peter, if I had a stunt,

26. I'd just go on that show and help you with my bills.

27. Aunt May, they're our bills,

28. and I'll take care of them,

29. somehow.

30. Spidey could go on that show

31. and knock their socks off.

32. If only it weren't so tacky.

33. We interrupt Beyond Belief

34. for this important local news announcement.

35. Here is J. Jonah Jameson,

36. president of the Jameson Network,

37. at his sumptuous Northport Long Island estate.

38. J. Jonah Jameson here.

39. I am holding a threatening note sent to my newspaper.

40. "Dear New York, tonight,

41. the Klopman Diamond and the Zenbud Urn

42. will be stolen.

43. Signed, the Triangle of Evil."

44. The day has apparently come when criminals

45. announce their theft before committing 'em.

46. But our city will not be threatened.

47. This is to warn the criminals that...

48. Aunt May, I'll just take these bills to my room

49. and sort them out.

50. Oh, dear.

51. All right, Petey.

52. I have to save the Klopman Diamond,

53. and I can't even pay my own bills.

54. Isn't that a gem?

55. You don't want diamonds.

56. They're so bright.

57. We'll squint.

58. Not tonight, gentlemen.

59. Hey, Spider-Man!

60. Come on! Let's split!

61. I believe this is yours, sir.

62. No need for thanks.

63. Thanks? Look at this mess.

64. Let's see. Let's see.

65. For the window and the two display cases,

66. that's $15,000.

67. Ah, I forgot to include our new silent alarm system.

68. A bill? But... but...

69. We'll talk about this later.

70. I've got a date with a Zenbud Urn.

71. What's a Zenbud Urn?

72. Oh, about $5 a day.

73. Sorry.

74. Thank you, Mr. Klopman.

75. Your diamond is safe now.

76. Thank you, uh, Mr...

77. "The Stuntman" will do.

78. Better get your window fixed.

79. I, uh... I'd be glad to put it on a credit card,

80. if you gentlemen prefer.

81. Everybody's a comedian.

82. Come on, Moe. Let's get outta here.

83. [Spider-Man] Great. No windows to break.

84. Guess again, web head.

85. You again? Why don't we all form a club?

86. Uh,

87. we already got one.

88. Here, catch.

89. Till we meet again, insect brain.

90. Hey, what about me?

91. Ah. Thanks, Mr. Spider.

92. - Spider-Man. - Whatever.

93. Uh, does your mother know

94. you go around dressed like that?

95. If you don't tell, I won't tell.

96. All right. Then here's the bill

97. for the stuff you broke.

98. $31,000?

99. I can't afford this.

100. Now your urn is safe.

101. I hope so, Mr., uh...

102. Stuntman.

103. These bills come to almost $50,000.

104. And I thought I had money trouble earlier.

105. If you have a stunt beyond belief,

106. you can win $50,000.

107. Yes, folks, $50,000 to the contestant...

108. I'll do it. Spidey will get us all out of debt.

109. Yes, this is Beyond Belief Productions. Can I help you?

110. Just tell Mr. Schlocker the Stuntman is here.

111. Two tanks in a head-on collision.

112. - Fantastic, eh? - Ah, it's been done to death.

113. I need the stunt of the century, or, between us, we're through.

114. - What is it?

115. A Mr. Stuntman is here.

116. Unless he's got a blockbuster stunt, get rid of him!

117. - How's this for a blockbuster? - Hey!

118. I'm offering you the challenge of a century,

119. Spider-Man versus me.

120. Here, have him sign this.

121. I guarantee he'll be here anytime now.

122. Why, you're Jack Riven, the world's greatest stuntman.

123. Whatever happened to you?

124. I was playing the mechanical monster in a movie.

125. Spider-Man caught me robbing the studio safe.

126. I was about to escape when a bolt of lightning struck.

127. It fused the robot outfit to my body.

128. I became the monster half man, half machine

129. you see before you now.

130. I want Spider-Man to pay.

131. So what's with the Spider-Man challenge bit?

132. Watch. I'll give you a free sample.

133. - That's just for openers.

134. Then I start getting rough.

135. You just sign Spider-Man.

136. I'll take care of the rest.

137. Anything you say, Stuntman. You're on.

138. [Spider-Man] Good. No window.

139. Oh, no! Not again!

140. I'm here for the $50,000.

141. Sign right here, my boy.

142. Now can I have my 50,000?

143. Sure. Right after the show.

144. Oh, and, uh, don't worry about the window.

145. We'll take it out of your pay.

146. Just be at the Palisades Cliffs at 10:00 tomorrow morning.

147. That's, uh, New Jersey.

148. No! I thought the Palisades were in Philadelphia.

149. Don't worry. I'll be there.

150. Tomorrow, you'll wish you were in Philadelphia.

151. It's 10:00, Frazier.

152. Now, where's Spider-Man? Time to roll tape.

153. Okay. What do you guys want, a couple of my best stunts?

154. Not quite, Spider-Man.

155. Next time, read the small print in the contract.

156. Roll tape!

157. - Welcome to Beyond Belief.

158. On today's show, a three-stunt challenge of the century

159. between the amazing Spider-Man and the Stuntman.

160. It's Jack Riven, my old enemy.

161. I wouldn't miss this for the world.

162. Neither would we.

163. Stunt number one,

164. scaling the cliffs of the Jersey Palisades.

165. First man to the top wins.

166. - And there they go, folks.

167. Should've climbed a cable, kid.

168. Can't trust that gooey webbing.

169. My webbing, it's giving out.

170. Okay, hold it right there, fellas.

171. Time for a commercial.

172. Now, this is what I call a real cliff-hanger.

173. What's the matter, kid?

174. You losing your grip?

175. Luckily, I'm not just a web-swinger,

176. I'm also a wall-crawler.

177. Too much heavy metal, lead-bottom?

178. See you at the top.

179. Some people never learn.

180. [Spider-Man] It's a long way down. Gotta grab something.

181. And the first stunt is won by the Stuntman.

182. - Spider-Man, are you okay to go on?

183. Yeah. Luckily, I broke the fall with my body.

184. - In a few moments,

185. we'll take you to the World Trade Center

186. for stunt number two.

187. Stay tuned.

188. Got it.

189. Take off.

190. Welcome back to Beyond Belief.

191. Our contestants are now halfway up stunt number two,

192. each climbing one of the Twin Towers.

193. They'll pass each other here on the tightwire.

194. First one down the other side wins.

195. Moe, Larry, quick, finish that dusting job.

196. Klopman Diamond is secure, boss.

197. Instigation of Operation Lubrication.

198. Okay, boss. We're off to the Zenbud Urn.

199. Hey, Larry, what's a Zenbud Urn?

200. Will you stop?

201. [Spider-Man] Coming through, fellas.

202. - Hey, Spidey, good luck! - Speak for yourself.

203. I got a ten-spot riding on Stuntman.

204. No. Slippery oil dust.

205. I can't hold on.

206. Good. That oil dust's working.

207. Spider-Man's finished.

208. Quick, wash that stuff off with your hose.

209. Gotcha, Spidey.

210. How can he do that?

211. You can't keep a good man down, bolt-bottom.

212. Say "uncle," meatball.

213. Okay. Uncle!

214. Okay, folks.

215. Watch how your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man does it.

216. And Spider-Man beats him to the bottom,

217. winning stunt number two.

218. - Even my blisters have blisters.

219. Okay, over to the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge.

220. Let's go.

221. My last stunt.

222. My webbing's almost gone.

223. Moe, Larry, come in. Progress report.

224. Objective number two secured, Stuntman.

225. Triangle of Evil on the move toward our third and biggest.

226. Oh, boy. I am one tired fella.

227. Gotta figure a way to slow this thing down.

228. Two bold thugs, part of the Triangle of Evil,

229. fulfilled their promise today and stole the Klopman Diamond

230. and the priceless Zenbud Urn.

231. Notes at both places promise a third theft.

232. Nobody's gonna beat me three times.

233. Let's see. First Klopman, then Abdaloni.

234. Oh, my gosh! J. Jonah Jameson's place is next.

235. That's it. The Stuntman set me up.

236. He's keeping me busy here

237. while his goons rip off the loot.

238. - It's tape time, Spidey.

239. - You're due out on the bridge. - Right with you.

240. I'm low on webbing.

241. With all I've gotta do,

242. I'm gonna need a refill cartridge.

243. Oh, hi, Spidey.

244. Say, how do you do that webbing stuff?

245. Easy. I'll show you.

246. I just push this button on my wrist...

247. Okay, stand by to roll tape.

248. Sorry, G.S. Uh, it looks like Spidey gummed up the works.

249. Hmm. Somebody switched my web cartridge.

250. If I'd used this, bye-bye, Spidey.

251. I'm gonna take this out of your pay, Spider-Man.

252. All right, everybody. Half-hour break.

253. [Spider-Man] There's Jameson's estate.

254. And time's running out.

255. Third one accomplished, boss.

256. Okay, Larry, up, up, and away!

257. It can't be!

258. [Spider-Man] But it is.

259. Thank goodness there's no glass to break around here.

260. You're under arrest, Triangle of Evil.

261. Look, Officer, those characters there

262. are two points of the Triangle.

263. Get me to the Beyond Belief location,

264. and I'll get you the third member.

265. Okay, Schlocker, Spider-Man's a no-show.

266. I win by default, right?

267. There they are. Pull right up to the Stuntman.

268. Ready when you are, Stuntman.

269. All right. First one across the bridge wins.

270. Don't forget, this is the final stunt.

271. Winner take all!

272. Huh? "Winner take all"?

273. That's not what I... Hey!

274. I hope Peter Parker's camera can get a few bonus bucks

275. out of those action shots.

276. Uh-oh. Stuntman's moving out.

277. This oughta stop him.

278. What the...

279. I thought dirty tricks were my department.

280. Ugh! New York traffic.

281. Going down.

282. He's got to come up to cross the finish line.

283. That's really dirty. Tar!

284. See you at the dry cleaner's, loser.

285. What now, Spidey boy?

286. Just about all out of webbing.

287. A crane with a magnet.

288. It's worth one last try.

289. Stuntman's at least half metal. This should work.

290. It's all over but the shouting.

291. Ah! Hey!

292. I think I'll give him a big finish

293. with the last of my webbing.

294. Did you see that? That web head won!

295. But look at him. Tarred and feathered.

296. I'd pay any price for a picture of that.

297. You got it, guys? Have you got it?

298. Irv, did you catch it all?

299. No problem, G.S.

300. Uh-oh. Uh, maybe just one little one.

301. The tape... There's nothing on the tape!

302. I'm ruined!

303. Well, that's showbiz, G.S.

304. My money, please, Mr. Schlocker.

305. Get outta here! No show, no money! Read your contract!

306. Now that really is showbiz.

307. This is the most degrading shot of Spidey ever taken.

308. This picture would destroy what's left of his image.

309. No amount of money could change my mind.

310. Here are the pictures I got of the big finish, J.J.

311. Uh, and I need the money.

312. Hmm. Not bad, kid. Not good, either.

313. I'll pay the usual. Take it or leave it.

314. But I'd pay 10, no, 20 times that

315. for a shot of Spider-Man tarred and feathered.

316. Uh, J. J., almost forgot.

317. Here's one more.

318. Say, now, that's more like it!

319. Yes! That's real front-page stuff!

320. Oh, Peter, I'm so glad you were able to pay our bills.

321. Did you see this?

322. That terrible Spider-Man

323. got his comeuppance.

324. Look. Look!

325. I've seen it, Aunt May. I've seen it.

326. Oh, boy, have I seen it.