Spaced 2x4

Directed by Edgar Wright

Olivia Williams as Irate Cyclist • Lucy Akhurst as Sophie • Michael Smiley as Tyres O'Flaherty • Clive Russell as Damien Knox • Mike Hayley as Security Guard

Tim is delighted but nervous as anything when Damian Knox of Darkstar Comics asks him to bring in his portfolio. The last time they met Knox cruelly put down Tim's work, hence Tim drew a less than flattering portrait of him. Daisy puts this drawing into Tim's portfolio, trying to help, and leaving Tim with a short time to retrieve the drawing, with the assistance of Mike and Tyres.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Sophie, could you come in here, please?

2. Yes, Damien?

3. I've been thinking. We've become rather staid recently.

4. We haven't really produced any truly interesting titles for some time.

5. We need some new... blood.

6. RAPID GUNFIRE

7. Did you have anyone in mind?

8. I was rather hoping you might.

9. How about... Peter Gibbens?

10. I don't think so.

11. GUNFIRE

12. Jason Murray?

13. Too... arty.

14. Tim Bisley.

15. Bisley.

16. Where do I know that name?

17. 'He came in last year. You laughed him out of the office.'

18. 'He had blonde hair, small ears.'

19. Ah, yes! Bisley, that's right!

20. I remember his work now.

21. All muscles and guns, most amusing.

22. Give him a ring, will you, Sophie?

23. Get me his portfolio.

24. OK.

25. I think it's time we gave young Mr Bisley another shot.

26. CRAZED GUNFIRE

27. You idiot!

28. Morning, flatmate. Coffee and Kilroy?

29. No thanks.

30. Tea and Trisha?

31. No.

32. Why are you scrimmaging around? You're making me nervous.

33. Sophie from Darkstar called.

34. Sophie...

35. Yeah, Damien Knox wants to see my portfolio again.

36. No, Damien Knox, the head of Darkstar Comix.

37. I'm a little bit nervous!

38. God, wow! He wants to see your portfolio?

39. God, what a break! That's brilliant, Tim.

40. Is it, Daisy?

41. Yeah! God, well done!

42. That's excellent, yeah. Well done, you! Well done!

43. HEAVY THUMPING AND CREAKING

44. What's that?

45. Dunno. It's coming from upstairs. Maybe it's Marsha.

46. Maybe it's Mike.

47. Maybe it's Mike and Marsha.

48. Ready to go again, soldier?

49. Cock locked and ready to rock!

50. Got anything special planned?

51. I have, actually.

52. I'm gonna be as inactive as I can

53. to get into the psyche of someone who's unemployed -

54. vocationally and cerebrally -

55. to see if enforced passivity exacerbates itself.

56. Does inactivity breed laziness?

57. You're writing an article about it?

58. No, I can't be bothered.

59. THUMPING CONTINUES

60. I'm not really a praying man and I never ask you for much

61. so if you could just see your way clear to helping me today

62. I would be really grateful.

63. Thank you very much. Amen.

64. THUMPING AND CREAKING

65. "I'm a massive wanker."

66. INSISTENT BUZZING

67. It's all right, it's my messenger.

68. THUMPING

69. That's weird.

70. What?

71. There's nobody there.

72. Oi-oi!

73. You lucky people!

74. Oh, hi, Tyres. Oh, hi, Tyres.

75. Understand you two "friends" wanted to talk to me.

76. I was just wondering if you could run my portfolio over to Darkstar.

77. You don't call me for weeks and suddenly you want a favour?

78. The last time I seen you, you said you wished I was your dad

79. and you hugged me for the duration of Higher State Of Consciousness

80. and now you want me to ferry round your "art" for you?

81. Yes, please.

82. By the way, you owe me 20 quid.

83. Oh, right, yeah.

84. And how are you, my little pocket Shakespeare?

85. Come up with any exciting literary characters lately?

86. Yes, actually - Dizzy Steinway.

87. I like it. Is she some crime-busting jazz singer?

88. No, it's the name I use to sign on.

89. Get up off your arse and get a job, Dizzy, or whatever your name isn't.

90. Nice hair, by the way.

91. There you go, mate.

92. Cheers.

93. My livelihood is in here so guard it with your life.

94. As ever. Yous coming out this weekend?

95. I'm a bit strapped for cash.

96. Could you lend me 20 quid?

97. Yeah, sure.

98. Great!

99. What's that noise?

100. Um...

101. We don't know.

102. I like it.

103. RHYTMIC HISSING AND RINGING

104. Right, well, that's got to be there by eleven.

105. Right you are, sir. I've got a good feeling about this.

106. Yeah, well, hopefully things might start going my way.

107. All in front of you like a wheelbarrow. Door, please, Timmy.

108. That was close, he nearly went disco on us.

109. What is that noise?

110. I'm gonna go and find out.

111. Can you tell Mike that I need him?

112. What for?

113. No reason, I just... I need him.

114. "Can you feel it in your butt? That's good."

115. Marsha?

116. Come in, kitten, it's open!

117. Morning, Daisy.

118. Hi, Mike! Nice outfit.

119. Thanks.

120. Tim wants you.

121. Wants me or needs me?

122. Er... needs you.

123. Right. Ladies.

124. What are you up to, Marsha?

125. Oh, it's Cher's new fitness video, Thong For Europe.

126. Mike reckons I've got between 15 and 20 years to find hubby number three

127. and I wanna look my best. >

128. Why don't you come for a jog?

129. Oh, no, no.

130. Come on, it'll be fun! Get off your arse, get the adrenaline pumping.

131. No, I shouldn't do sport of any kind, I'm allergic to endorphins,

132. < I get very competitive.

133. Who wants to look like these people?

134. Go to the gym all day, go to a premier in a low-cut dress to get in some magazine.

135. What kind of a life is that?

136. I'm happy right where I am.

137. Where is it?

138. Where's what?

139. There was a picture on the sofa of a man saying "I am a massive wanker,"

140. and don't say you put it in my portfolio

141. because I cannot begin to describe the damage you may have done.

142. Well, I...

143. Listen, we want this to be easy.

144. I just...

145. YOU JUST WHAT?

146. Come on, what you done with it?

147. Did you put it in my portfolio?

148. I put it in a portfolio.

149. WHAT?

150. I put it in your portfolio.

151. WHAT?

152. Did she say what I think she said?

153. She put it in my portfolio.

154. WHAAAT?

155. I was just trying to help.

156. That was a picture of a man

157. who is about to decide if I work for Darkstar!

158. You're beginning to see why I left it out?

159. Yes, yes, and I'm sorry,

160. Well, don't!

161. If you're gonna help anybody, get off your arse and help yourself!

162. Why is everybody talking about my arse?

163. Mike, we've got to try and stop Tyres.

164. Don't worry, Daisy,

165. Tim's just angry because you've jeopardised his future. OK?

166. I was just trying to help!

167. God!

168. Ow! Ow! Ow!

169. All right, kitten?

170. Yes!

171. Sure you don't want to come for a jog?

172. Yes.

173. Got work to do?

174. What are you gonna do? Sit around and wait for Tim to come home?

175. I'll get my plimsolls.

176. Is Brian there?

177. Wh-Why are you dressed... like that?

178. Just thought you might like to come for a run.

179. Might ease your frustration.

180. What frustration?

181. Brian, I like going out,

182. it's important for me to be seen out.

183. I want to stay in.

184. Oh, and have sex, that's all you ever want!

185. "I want you to see me as a whole!"

186. "I do!"

187. "A whole, Brian, with a W!"

188. "Ohhh."

189. Just thought you might like a...

190. jog.

191. No, I can't. Mum's in town, we're going out for lunch.

192. Is that why you're dressed like that?

193. She... thinks I'm a lawyer.

194. Bloody 'ell!

195. I thought I knew all your little secrets.

196. No wonder you're so tense.

197. COME ON!

198. HORN TOOTS

199. COME ON! What is the hold-up?

200. There's been an accident...

201. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Somebody got hurt!

202. Who?

203. A lady...

204. How do you know?

205. Because we hit her.

206. Did we?

207. Yeah, that's her there.

208. What the hell are you doing?

209. You people have no consideration for cyclists!

210. Pardon?

211. All right! What's your problem?

212. Think you can go on?

213. Yeah.

214. Come on, then.

215. Yeah, sure, sure.

216. That's not gonna happen cos he's a... small fish in a big pond

217. and I'm a big... a shark!

218. Yes, yep. OK, b... goodbye. Yeah, bye.

219. Hi, Mum.

220. Ooh, hello, love.

221. Shall we go?

222. Aren't we going in?

223. No, I've got the builders in, they're making a... a wall.

224. I know a very good place to eat.

225. This is all right, isn't it?

226. Yeah, what did I tell ya?

227. It's actually quite fun.

228. Oh, shit, there he is!

229. TYRES!

230. What brought you, Timmy lad?

231. Tyres, don't deliver that parcel!

232. Why?

233. There's something in it they mustn't see.

234. Paperclips?

235. No. Where's my portfolio?

236. I delivered that about half an hour ago.

237. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

238. Did you get it?

239. Nice outfit.

240. Tim Bisley's portfolio has arrived, Damien.

241. Right.

242. Actually...

243. I'll look at it after lunch.

244. Can't we go and get it?

245. Not even I can get that far up.

246. All parcels are left at reception and picked up by in-house personnel.

247. Damn! Damn.

248. They must let some people up.

249. Not without an appointment.

250. Shit! Shit.

251. How am I gonna get my picture back?

252. Mike, any ideas?

253. Tyres?

254. Yeah, but we'll need another walkie-talkie.

255. BEEP-BEEP!

256. Or two.

257. Can I have a... large half-caf frappuccino, please?

258. With, er... whipped cream

259. and marshmallow dunkers.

260. Thank you. Mum?

261. Er, yes, I'll have one of those, too

262. When in Rome!

263. So, how is everything?

264. Good.

265. How's Twist?

266. It's good. Good. She's out of town.

267. Can't wait to meet her.

268. Very busy.

269. Well, fashion is big business these days, Brian.

270. Yoo-hoo!

271. Ooh!

272. Are they friends of yours?

273. Nev... never seen them.

274. Brian?

275. What is it?

276. Sorry?

277. It's me again!

278. I can see that.

279. Third time today!

280. Have you got something to deliver?

281. I was just thinking, I'm getting a bit old for cycling.

282. See these pins? They ain't what they used to be.

283. What's your point?

284. I was wondering what it's like to be in security.

285. I really look up to people like you.

286. Do you?

287. Yeah, I'd love to be like you.

288. Well, tell you what,

289. give us your name and address and I'll send you all you need to apply.

290. Would ya?

291. Yeah, sure, why not?

292. Brilliant. Right, my name's Henry Krinkle, K-R-I-N-K-L-E.

293. 154 Hopper Avenue.

294. < Hopper?

295. Yeah, Hopper.

296. Oooh!

297. Ow! Oh! Ow!

298. Colin! Stop her!

299. BARKS

300. Who does he think he is? Bob bloody Kane?

301. Tell him I'll make more money pimping his grandma.

302. So, how's Dad?

303. Oh, you know your father, frustrated as ever.

304. He's taken up art classes.

305. He'd always fancied himself as a bit of an artist.

306. We hoped you might go in for it. You were so good at it at school.

307. It might have given you something to talk about with your father.

308. Mum...

309. What, love?

310. There's something I should tell you.

311. This is it, fourth floor.

312. Ready, Mike?

313. I was born ready, Timmy.

314. Yeah, but are you ready now?

315. Um... yeah.

316. We've just got to get the picture and not get caught.

317. How hard can that be?

318. Tell Stan I'll speak to him later, after I put Bisley out of his misery

319. There it is.

320. Shit.

321. Is it locked?

322. No, I was joking(!)

323. Ha-ha... Oh.

324. What are we gonna do?

325. There.

326. Ventilation shaft - simple and classic.

327. Oh.

328. I can't believe this, Brian.

329. I'm sorry, Mum.

330. I thought you'd be disappointed.

331. Don't be silly, me and your dad don't mind what you do,

332. so long as you're not gay.

333. I bet you made up Twist, as well.

334. I should have known. I mean, what sort of a name is Twist?

335. No, she's real.

336. Well, that's something.

337. So, you're an artist.

338. Yep.

339. What sort of thing do you do?

340. Errmmm, anger...

341. AAAAARGH!

342. Pain...

343. Ow!

344. Fear...

345. Aggression...

346. TICKING

347. Watercolours?

348. Do you go out clubbing much?

349. No, I do a lot of night work.

350. I love night work, I'm usually up till all hours.

351. Speeding through the night.

352. Something like that.

353. OK, stay out of sight.

354. If anybody comes, warn me on the walkie.

355. Roger.

356. How's your knee?

357. I'll live.

358. My teeth hurt.

359. Ooh, I wish I hadn't started this now.

360. I'm sorry, Marsha, but I did warn you.

361. It was the same with netball...

362. at school.

363. 'I remember playing a friendly in the upper sixth.'

364. 'I played goal attack.'

365. 'And I had a wee rivalry with the goalie on the other team.'

366. 'She was called Nina.'

367. 'The goal shooter took a shot

368. and it was obvious Nina was gonna save.'

369. 'So, I did what I had to do.'

370. 'I saved the game.'

371. 'But I lost a lot of friends.'

372. I just shouldn't exercise.

373. It's not just bad for me, it's bad for everybody.

374. Oh, I dunno, I'm really beginning to feel the benefit now, yeah.

375. Come on, let's fuck off home.

376. Mmm. I wonder if Tim's back.

377. What's Colin looking at?

378. Where's he off to?

379. Oh, my God!

380. So, when did you decide to become an artist, then?

381. I think it was when the dog died.

382. Oh. You never did get over that, did you?

383. Colin! COLIN!

384. THUMPING HEARTBEAT

385. EERIE CHIMES

386. BLARING KLAXON

387. POMPOM!

388. SQUELCH

389. Not... again!

390. < Colin!

391. Daisy!

392. CRASH

393. What the hell do you think you're doing?

394. Ooh! Erm... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

395. Well, I... er... I was just...

396. Looking for this?

397. Yes. Yes, I w... I, erm...

398. I... I had to get it back.

399. You see? Cos if-if... Mr Knox saw it, then it, er...

400. Wouldn't really do you any favours, would it?

401. No, no, no. No. Erm...

402. How are you, Sophie?

403. Fine, thanks.

404. Good, good.

405. Sorry, I forgot you worked here.

406. Really?

407. "Tim, that girl you fancy's coming into the office!"

408. (GULPING) Thanks, Mike!

409. How's Damien?

410. I'm sorry, you just ran out in front of me.

411. I know you, you're a massive wanker!

412. I said I was sorry.

413. I've had enough of this keeping fit, it's too bloody dangerous.

414. Well, if people will insist on throwing themselves in front of cars

415. She could sue you, you know.

416. For what?

417. Dangerous driving.

418. Bloody hell. You're not a lawyer, are you?

419. No. He's an artist.

420. Here's your picture.

421. I think I'll keep this one, though.

422. Yeah. Yeah, fine.

423. It was nice to see you again, Tim.

424. Well, you're nice, too.

425. It was nice to see you, too.

426. Tim?

427. What are you doing on Friday?

428. Would you like to go out for a drink with me on Friday?

429. Great. I'll give you a ring.

430. See you Friday.

431. You got it?

432. That's not all I got!

433. Leave the coffee! >

434. No, never been to Ibiza.

435. Oh, you should go, mate.

436. Yeah. Went to Gran Canaria. I've got some pictures.

437. What the...?

438. The cat is out of the bag, the cat is out of the bag.

439. "Repeat, the cat is out of the bag."

440. Shit. Shit.

441. He's taking the stairs, get the lift!

442. Bisley...

443. (FALSETTO) Hi.

444. Well, now, you're keen, aren't you?

445. Haven't had a chance to look over your stuff yet.

446. Oh, that's all right.

447. Everything all right, Wallace?

448. Sorry, I thought I saw unauthorised personnel on the monitor.

449. I haven't seen anybody.

450. All right, I'll get back to me desk.

451. All right, Mike?

452. Hello.

453. What you doing here?

454. I'm here with Tim.

455. Coming to TA Saturday?

456. Ooh, yes, stealth and tactics weekend.

457. I've an idea for an infiltration technique.

458. It involves draining the enemy's blood and replacing it with Tizer.

459. Sounds great. See you Saturday.

460. Sir.

461. Yes, right.

462. Good to see you looking so... en-thusiastic, Bisley.

463. I'll let you know either way.

464. Thanks, Mr Knox.

465. Damien.

466. Thanks, Damien.

467. Oh, thanks!

468. Oh, he's nice, isn't he?

469. So, are we happy?

470. Are we happy!

471. Right, mine's a pint of the black stuff.

472. You can't drink a pint of Bovril!

473. RHYTHMIC BEEPING

474. What do you think?

475. Very good. Very good indeed.

476. Schedule him in for a meeting next Tuesday.

477. I think we're going to be seeing a lot of young Mr Bisley.

478. Oi-oi.

479. Listen, I got that picture back.

480. That's not all he got!

481. Mike.

482. I got off me arse.

483. And what happened?

484. I bumped into a friend of yours.

485. Why don't you tell me all about it?

486. What, my arse?

487. Yeah, if you like.

488. Where's Tyres?

489. RHYTHMIC HONKING

490. SYNCOPATED HONK