1. Sophie, could you
come in here, please?
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2. Yes, Damien?
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3. I've been thinking.
We've become rather staid recently.
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4. We haven't really produced any truly
interesting titles for some time.
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5. We need some new... blood.
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6. Did you have anyone in mind?
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7. I was rather hoping you might.
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8. How about... Peter Gibbens?
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9. I don't think so.
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10. Jason Murray?
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11. Too... arty.
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12. Tim Bisley.
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13. Bisley.
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14. Where do I know that name?
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15. 'He came in last year.
You laughed him out of the office.'
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16. 'He had blonde hair, small ears.'
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17. Ah, yes! Bisley, that's right!
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18. I remember his work now.
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19. All muscles and guns, most amusing.
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20. Give him a ring, will you, Sophie?
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21. Get me his portfolio.
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22. OK.
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23. I think it's time we gave
young Mr Bisley another shot.
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24. You idiot!
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25. Morning, flatmate.
Coffee and Kilroy?
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26. No thanks.
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27. Tea and Trisha?
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28. No.
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29. Why are you scrimmaging around?
You're making me nervous.
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30. Sophie from Darkstar called.
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31. Sophie...
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32. Yeah, Damien Knox wants to see
my portfolio again.
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33. No, Damien Knox,
the head of Darkstar Comix.
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34. I'm a little bit nervous!
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35. God, wow! He wants to see
your portfolio?
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36. God, what a break!
That's brilliant, Tim.
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37. Is it, Daisy?
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38. Yeah! God, well done!
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39. That's excellent, yeah.
Well done, you! Well done!
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40. What's that?
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41. Dunno. It's coming from upstairs.
Maybe it's Marsha.
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42. Maybe it's Mike.
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43. Maybe it's Mike and Marsha.
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44. Ready to go again, soldier?
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45. Cock locked and ready to rock!
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46. Got anything special planned?
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47. I have, actually.
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48. I'm gonna be as inactive as I can
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49. to get into the psyche
of someone who's unemployed -
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50. vocationally and cerebrally -
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51. to see if enforced passivity
exacerbates itself.
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52. Does inactivity breed laziness?
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53. You're writing an article about it?
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54. No, I can't be bothered.
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55. I'm not really a praying man
and I never ask you for much
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56. so if you could just see
your way clear to helping me today
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57. I would be really grateful.
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58. Thank you very much. Amen.
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59. "I'm a massive wanker."
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60. It's all right, it's my messenger.
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61. That's weird.
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62. What?
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63. There's nobody there.
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64. Oi-oi!
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65. You lucky people!
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66. Oh, hi, Tyres. Oh, hi, Tyres.
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67. Understand you two "friends"
wanted to talk to me.
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68. I was just wondering if you could
run my portfolio over to Darkstar.
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69. You don't call me for weeks
and suddenly you want a favour?
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70. The last time I seen you,
you said you wished I was your dad
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71. and you hugged me for the duration
of Higher State Of Consciousness
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72. and now you want me to ferry round
your "art" for you?
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73. Yes, please.
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74. By the way, you owe me 20 quid.
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75. Oh, right, yeah.
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76. And how are you,
my little pocket Shakespeare?
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77. Come up with any exciting
literary characters lately?
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78. Yes, actually - Dizzy Steinway.
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79. I like it. Is she
some crime-busting jazz singer?
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80. No, it's the name I use to sign on.
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81. Get up off your arse and get a job,
Dizzy, or whatever your name isn't.
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82. Nice hair, by the way.
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83. There you go, mate.
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84. Cheers.
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85. My livelihood is in here
so guard it with your life.
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86. As ever.
Yous coming out this weekend?
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87. I'm a bit strapped for cash.
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88. Could you lend me 20 quid?
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89. Yeah, sure.
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90. Great!
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91. What's that noise?
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92. Um...
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93. We don't know.
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94. I like it.
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95. Right, well,
that's got to be there by eleven.
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96. Right you are, sir.
I've got a good feeling about this.
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97. Yeah, well, hopefully things might
start going my way.
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98. All in front of you like
a wheelbarrow. Door, please, Timmy.
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99. That was close,
he nearly went disco on us.
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100. What is that noise?
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101. I'm gonna go and find out.
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102. Can you tell Mike that I need him?
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103. What for?
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104. No reason, I just... I need him.
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105. "Can you feel it
in your butt? That's good."
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106. Marsha?
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107. Come in, kitten, it's open!
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108. Morning, Daisy.
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109. Hi, Mike! Nice outfit.
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110. Thanks.
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111. Tim wants you.
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112. Wants me or needs me?
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113. Er... needs you.
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114. Right. Ladies.
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115. What are you up to, Marsha?
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116. Oh, it's Cher's new fitness video,
Thong For Europe.
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117. Mike reckons I've got between 15 and
20 years to find hubby number three
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118. and I wanna look my best. >
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119. Why don't you come for a jog?
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120. Oh, no, no.
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121. Come on, it'll be fun! Get off your
arse, get the adrenaline pumping.
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122. No, I shouldn't do sport of any
kind, I'm allergic to endorphins,
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123. < I get very competitive.
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124. Who wants to look like these people?
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125. Go to the gym all day,
go to a premier in a low-cut dress
to get in some magazine.
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126. What kind of a life is that?
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127. I'm happy right where I am.
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128. Where is it?
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129. Where's what?
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130. There was a picture on the sofa of
a man saying "I am a massive wanker,"
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131. and don't say
you put it in my portfolio
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132. because I cannot begin to describe
the damage you may have done.
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133. Well, I...
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134. Listen, we want this to be easy.
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135. I just...
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136. YOU JUST WHAT?
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137. Come on, what you done with it?
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138. Did you put it in my portfolio?
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139. I put it in a portfolio.
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140. WHAT?
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141. I put it in your portfolio.
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142. WHAT?
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143. Did she say what I think she said?
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144. She put it in my portfolio.
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145. WHAAAT?
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146. I was just trying to help.
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147. That was a picture of a man
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148. who is about to decide
if I work for Darkstar!
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149. You're beginning to see
why I left it out?
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150. Yes, yes, and I'm sorry,
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151. Well, don't!
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152. If you're gonna help anybody,
get off your arse and help yourself!
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153. Why is everybody
talking about my arse?
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154. Mike, we've got to
try and stop Tyres.
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155. Don't worry, Daisy,
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156. Tim's just angry because
you've jeopardised his future. OK?
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157. I was just trying to help!
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158. God!
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159. Ow! Ow! Ow!
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160. All right, kitten?
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161. Yes!
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162. Sure you don't want to
come for a jog?
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163. Yes.
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164. Got work to do?
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165. What are you gonna do? Sit around
and wait for Tim to come home?
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166. I'll get my plimsolls.
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167. Is Brian there?
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168. Wh-Why are you dressed... like that?
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169. Just thought
you might like to come for a run.
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170. Might ease your frustration.
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171. What frustration?
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172. Brian, I like going out,
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173. it's important for me to be seen out.
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174. I want to stay in.
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175. Oh, and have sex,
that's all you ever want!
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176. "I want you to see me as a whole!"
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177. "I do!"
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178. "A whole, Brian, with a W!"
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179. "Ohhh."
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180. Just thought you might like a...
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181. jog.
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182. No, I can't. Mum's in town,
we're going out for lunch.
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183. Is that
why you're dressed like that?
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184. She... thinks I'm a lawyer.
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185. Bloody 'ell!
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186. I thought I knew
all your little secrets.
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187. No wonder you're so tense.
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188. COME ON!
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189. COME ON! What is the hold-up?
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190. There's been an accident...
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191. Somebody got hurt!
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192. Who?
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193. A lady...
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194. How do you know?
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195. Because we hit her.
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196. Did we?
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197. Yeah, that's her there.
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198. What the hell are you doing?
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199. You people have
no consideration for cyclists!
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200. Pardon?
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201. All right! What's your problem?
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202. Think you can go on?
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203. Yeah.
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204. Come on, then.
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205. Yeah, sure, sure.
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206. That's not gonna happen cos
he's a... small fish in a big pond
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207. and I'm a big... a shark!
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208. Yes, yep. OK, b... goodbye.
Yeah, bye.
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209. Hi, Mum.
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210. Ooh, hello, love.
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211. Shall we go?
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212. Aren't we going in?
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213. No, I've got the builders in,
they're making a... a wall.
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214. I know a very good place to eat.
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215. This is all right, isn't it?
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216. Yeah, what did I tell ya?
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217. It's actually quite fun.
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218. Oh, shit, there he is!
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219. TYRES!
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220. What brought you, Timmy lad?
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221. Tyres, don't deliver that parcel!
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222. Why?
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223. There's something in it
they mustn't see.
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224. Paperclips?
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225. No. Where's my portfolio?
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226. I delivered that
about half an hour ago.
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227. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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228. Did you get it?
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229. Nice outfit.
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230. Tim Bisley's portfolio
has arrived, Damien.
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231. Right.
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232. Actually...
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233. I'll look at it after lunch.
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234. Can't we go and get it?
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235. Not even I can get that far up.
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236. All parcels are left at reception
and picked up by in-house personnel.
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237. Damn! Damn.
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238. They must let some people up.
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239. Not without an appointment.
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240. Shit! Shit.
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241. How am I gonna get my picture back?
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242. Mike, any ideas?
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243. Tyres?
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244. Yeah, but we'll need
another walkie-talkie.
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245. BEEP-BEEP!
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246. Or two.
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247. Can I have a... large
half-caf frappuccino, please?
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248. With, er... whipped cream
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249. and marshmallow dunkers.
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250. Thank you. Mum?
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251. Er, yes, I'll have one of those, too
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252. When in Rome!
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253. So, how is everything?
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254. Good.
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255. How's Twist?
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256. It's good. Good. She's out of town.
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257. Can't wait to meet her.
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258. Very busy.
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259. Well, fashion is big business
these days, Brian.
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260. Yoo-hoo!
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261. Ooh!
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262. Are they friends of yours?
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263. Nev... never seen them.
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264. Brian?
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265. What is it?
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266. Sorry?
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267. It's me again!
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268. I can see that.
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269. Third time today!
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270. Have you got something to deliver?
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271. I was just thinking,
I'm getting a bit old for cycling.
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272. See these pins?
They ain't what they used to be.
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273. What's your point?
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274. I was wondering
what it's like to be in security.
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275. I really look up to people like you.
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276. Do you?
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277. Yeah, I'd love to be like you.
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278. Well, tell you what,
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279. give us your name and address and
I'll send you all you need to apply.
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280. Would ya?
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281. Yeah, sure, why not?
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282. Brilliant. Right, my name's
Henry Krinkle, K-R-I-N-K-L-E.
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283. 154 Hopper Avenue.
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284. < Hopper?
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285. Yeah, Hopper.
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286. Oooh!
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287. Ow! Oh! Ow!
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288. Colin! Stop her!
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289. Who does he think he is?
Bob bloody Kane?
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290. Tell him I'll make more money
pimping his grandma.
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291. So, how's Dad?
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292. Oh, you know your father,
frustrated as ever.
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293. He's taken up art classes.
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294. He'd always fancied himself
as a bit of an artist.
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295. We hoped you might go in for it.
You were so good at it at school.
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296. It might have given you something
to talk about with your father.
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297. Mum...
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298. What, love?
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299. There's something I should tell you.
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300. This is it, fourth floor.
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301. Ready, Mike?
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302. I was born ready, Timmy.
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303. Yeah, but are you ready now?
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304. Um... yeah.
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305. We've just got to get
the picture and not get caught.
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306. How hard can that be?
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307. Tell Stan I'll speak to him later,
after I put Bisley out of his misery
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308. There it is.
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309. Shit.
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310. Is it locked?
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311. No, I was joking(!)
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312. Ha-ha... Oh.
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313. What are we gonna do?
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314. There.
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315. Ventilation shaft -
simple and classic.
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316. Oh.
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317. I can't believe this, Brian.
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318. I'm sorry, Mum.
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319. I thought you'd be disappointed.
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320. Don't be silly, me and your dad
don't mind what you do,
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321. so long as you're not gay.
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322. I bet you made up Twist, as well.
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323. I should have known. I mean,
what sort of a name is Twist?
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324. No, she's real.
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325. Well, that's something.
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326. So, you're an artist.
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327. Yep.
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328. What sort of thing do you do?
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329. Errmmm, anger...
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330. AAAAARGH!
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331. Pain...
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332. Ow!
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333. Fear...
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334. Aggression...
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335. Watercolours?
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336. Do you go out clubbing much?
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337. No, I do a lot of night work.
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338. I love night work,
I'm usually up till all hours.
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339. Speeding through the night.
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340. Something like that.
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341. OK, stay out of sight.
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342. If anybody comes,
warn me on the walkie.
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343. Roger.
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344. How's your knee?
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345. I'll live.
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346. My teeth hurt.
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347. Ooh, I wish I hadn't
started this now.
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348. I'm sorry, Marsha,
but I did warn you.
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349. It was the same with netball...
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350. at school.
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351. 'I remember playing a friendly
in the upper sixth.'
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352. 'I played goal attack.'
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353. 'And I had a wee rivalry
with the goalie on the other team.'
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354. 'She was called Nina.'
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355. 'The goal shooter took a shot
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356. and it was obvious
Nina was gonna save.'
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357. 'So, I did what I had to do.'
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358. 'I saved the game.'
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359. 'But I lost a lot of friends.'
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360. I just shouldn't exercise.
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361. It's not just bad for me,
it's bad for everybody.
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362. Oh, I dunno, I'm really beginning
to feel the benefit now, yeah.
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363. Come on, let's fuck off home.
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364. Mmm. I wonder if Tim's back.
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365. What's Colin looking at?
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366. Where's he off to?
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367. Oh, my God!
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368. So, when did you decide
to become an artist, then?
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369. I think it was when the dog died.
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370. Oh. You never did
get over that, did you?
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371. Colin! COLIN!
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372. POMPOM!
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373. Not... again!
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374. < Colin!
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375. Daisy!
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376. What the hell do you think
you're doing?
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377. Ooh! Erm...
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378. Well, I... er... I was just...
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379. Looking for this?
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380. Yes. Yes, I w... I, erm...
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381. I... I had to get it back.
Copy !req
382. You see? Cos if-if...
Mr Knox saw it, then it, er...
Copy !req
383. Wouldn't really
do you any favours, would it?
Copy !req
384. No, no, no. No. Erm...
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385. How are you, Sophie?
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386. Fine, thanks.
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387. Good, good.
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388. Sorry, I forgot you worked here.
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389. Really?
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390. "Tim, that girl you fancy's
coming into the office!"
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391. Thanks, Mike!
Copy !req
392. How's Damien?
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393. I'm sorry, you just ran out
in front of me.
Copy !req
394. I know you, you're a massive wanker!
Copy !req
395. I said I was sorry.
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396. I've had enough of this keeping fit,
it's too bloody dangerous.
Copy !req
397. Well, if people will insist on
throwing themselves in front of cars
Copy !req
398. She could sue you, you know.
Copy !req
399. For what?
Copy !req
400. Dangerous driving.
Copy !req
401. Bloody hell.
You're not a lawyer, are you?
Copy !req
402. No. He's an artist.
Copy !req
403. Here's your picture.
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404. I think I'll keep this one, though.
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405. Yeah. Yeah, fine.
Copy !req
406. It was nice to see you again, Tim.
Copy !req
407. Well, you're nice, too.
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408. It was nice to see you, too.
Copy !req
409. Tim?
Copy !req
410. What are you doing on Friday?
Copy !req
411. Would you like to go out
for a drink with me on Friday?
Copy !req
412. Great. I'll give you a ring.
Copy !req
413. See you Friday.
Copy !req
414. You got it?
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415. That's not all I got!
Copy !req
416. Leave the coffee! >
Copy !req
417. No, never been to Ibiza.
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418. Oh, you should go, mate.
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419. Yeah. Went to Gran Canaria.
I've got some pictures.
Copy !req
420. What the...?
Copy !req
421. The cat is out of the bag,
the cat is out of the bag.
Copy !req
422. "Repeat, the cat is out of the bag."
Copy !req
423. Shit. Shit.
Copy !req
424. He's taking the stairs,
get the lift!
Copy !req
425. Bisley...
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426. Hi.
Copy !req
427. Well, now, you're keen, aren't you?
Copy !req
428. Haven't had a chance
to look over your stuff yet.
Copy !req
429. Oh, that's all right.
Copy !req
430. Everything all right, Wallace?
Copy !req
431. Sorry, I thought I saw unauthorised
personnel on the monitor.
Copy !req
432. I haven't seen anybody.
Copy !req
433. All right, I'll get back to me desk.
Copy !req
434. All right, Mike?
Copy !req
435. Hello.
Copy !req
436. What you doing here?
Copy !req
437. I'm here with Tim.
Copy !req
438. Coming to TA Saturday?
Copy !req
439. Ooh, yes,
stealth and tactics weekend.
Copy !req
440. I've an idea
for an infiltration technique.
Copy !req
441. It involves draining the enemy's
blood and replacing it with Tizer.
Copy !req
442. Sounds great. See you Saturday.
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443. Sir.
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444. Yes, right.
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445. Good to see you looking so...
en-thusiastic, Bisley.
Copy !req
446. I'll let you know either way.
Copy !req
447. Thanks, Mr Knox.
Copy !req
448. Damien.
Copy !req
449. Thanks, Damien.
Copy !req
450. Oh, thanks!
Copy !req
451. Oh, he's nice, isn't he?
Copy !req
452. So, are we happy?
Copy !req
453. Are we happy!
Copy !req
454. Right, mine's a pint
of the black stuff.
Copy !req
455. You can't drink a pint of Bovril!
Copy !req
456. What do you think?
Copy !req
457. Very good. Very good indeed.
Copy !req
458. Schedule him in
for a meeting next Tuesday.
Copy !req
459. I think we're going to be seeing
a lot of young Mr Bisley.
Copy !req
460. Oi-oi.
Copy !req
461. Listen, I got that picture back.
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462. That's not all he got!
Copy !req
463. Mike.
Copy !req
464. I got off me arse.
Copy !req
465. And what happened?
Copy !req
466. I bumped into a friend of yours.
Copy !req
467. Why don't you tell me all about it?
Copy !req
468. What, my arse?
Copy !req
469. Yeah, if you like.
Copy !req
470. Where's Tyres?
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