Spaced 1x5

Directed by Edgar Wright

Katy Carmichael as Twist Morgan • Charles Dale as Security Guard • Bill Bailey as Bilbo Bagshot • Jeremy Peters as James Eldridge

Colin goes missing when Tim takes him out for a late night walk, and at first Daisy suspects that Tim has deliberately got rid of him. Later, they receive a note tipping them off that Colin has been dognapped by an evil vivisectionist! They gather the troops and start a rescue mission.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. 'I don't know, all she seems to talk about is this bloody dog.'

2. It's like "Ooh, Colin did this!" and "Ooh, Colin that!"

3. I should talk to her, but she's been really happy since Colin arrived.

4. She'd had some articles rejected, split up with her boyfriend,

5. .. her hair always looks stupid.

6. Then Colin arrives on the scene and she's writing again,

7. .. and her hair looks good.

8. I know how you feel about dogs and how you feel about Daisy.

9. Sometimes with friends, sacrifices have to be made.

10. Are you saying we kill the dog?

11. No.

12. Spoilsport.

13. Count to a hundred?

14. All right.

15. 'I used to know this guy, Minty.'

16. 'He had a dog he'd trained to attack rich people.'

17. 'He was into the class-war thing.'

18. 'Called the dog Gramsci, after an Italian Marxist.'

19. 'Rumour has it, it could smell wealth from up to 20 feet.'

20. 'But it all backfired. Minty won 100 grand on a scratchcard.'

21. 'And Gramsci bit his knees off.'

22. That's terrible.

23. Not really. He used the money to buy new knees.

24. So what happened to Gramsci?

25. Well, no-one knows.

26. Although some people still believe he roams wild on Hampstead Heath.

27. Hiya!

28. Is that it?

29. It's not what it is, it's what it will be.

30. A cold-blooded killer.

31. It's a fact, sure as day follows night, sure as all odd-numbered Star Trek movies are shit.

32. I'm going shopping, do you want anything?

33. A crossbow.

34. Also, if Richard calls, tell him I'm out with Colin.

35. We'll make him pay, won't we? We'll make them all pay.

36. Who's Richard?

37. Ex-boyfriend.

38. Your ex-boyfriend?

39. No, Daisy's ex-boyfriend.

40. My ex-boyfriend.

41. Oh, sorry, what happened?

42. Well, I mean, I was upset but I'm not anymore.

43. In the end, our relationship was just like a sandwich toaster.

44. You forget you have one, and it just sits there covered in greasy fudge.

45. If you do see it, you assume it's broken because you don't use it.

46. Then one day you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches.

47. And you get it down, and it works, and you can't believe it.

48. You have toasted-sandwich parties. Marmite and cheese, chocolate and...

49. Pilchards.

50. .. banana and...

51. Acorns.

52. .. acorns, and then...

53. ..as quickly the desire comes, it just goes.

54. Then you put the sandwich maker away and... You know what?

55. What?

56. You don't miss it.

57. What you're saying is, don't hide your sandwich toaster away,

58. .. use him regularly and you'll get the most out of him?

59. No, chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich.

60. I've got to go cos I'm meeting Twist

61. Don't you love my hair?

62. How can you not like him? He's so cute.

63. Ahhh!

64. That's how it starts - oohs and ahhs, but then there's barking and biting.

65. He's a ticking timebomb of death. You spend years of your life doting on his little furry head,

66. .. then one day you get back from aerobics...

67. and there's the remains of a handyman you left fixing the tumble dryer.

68. We don't have a tumble dryer.

69. You will, my friend.

70. You will.

71. Look, Tim, I know that I've been... insensitive,

72. .. and I know you're riddled with deep-seated psychological disorders,

73. Thank you.

74. .. but Colin lives here and I'd like us all to live happily.

75. Your mum remarried, didn't she?

76. What's that got to do with it?

77. Well,

78. you know what it feels like to be a stepchild,

79. ..to be resented by a patriarch.

80. My stepdad was a nice guy.

81. TIM!

82. All right, I'll give it a try.

83. Thanks, Tim.

84. So, what are you doing tonight?

85. Brian's coming up.

86. To see you?

87. I went to a gallery, so he's coming to see the Star Wars Trilogy. It's a cultural exchange thin