Space Ghost Coast to Coast 5x3

Directed by

Jace, Jan, and Blip from the original Space Ghost try to sue Space Ghost. Space Ghost gets out of it, and he blasts Blip. He also claims he destroyed Paris.

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!req Space Ghost Coast to Coast 5x3 [02:32]
!req Space Ghost Coast to Coast 5x3 [Space Ghost Coast to Coast 5x3]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Space Ghost Coast to Coast 5x3 [10-11]; !req Space Ghost Coast to Coast 5x3 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

2. GREETINGS. I'M SPACE GHOST.

3. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

4. ON MY SHOW TONIGHT, W—

5. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S THIS?

6. "TAD EUSTUS GHOSTAL, THIS IS TO INFORM YOU

7. THAT YOU ARE THE WINNER OF ONE SUPERDELUX KING-SIZED LAWSUIT."

8. LAWSUIT?

9. BUT WHO WOULD WANT TO SUE LOVABLE ME?

10. JACK LORD! IT'S DR. NIGHTMARE!

11. MY ARCH ENEMY!

12. THAT'S DR. NIGHTMARE, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, MR. FATBOY.

13. I GOT MY DEGREE AT SPACE PRISON

14. AFTER YOU UNJUSTLY SENT ME UP THE GALACTIC RIVER!

15. UNJUSTLY?

16. YOU VIBRO-SHOCKED 3 GALAXIES OUT OF EXISTENCE,

17. YOU STOLE FIZZY-LIFTING DRINKS,

18. AND THEN YOU TRIED TO STEAL MY BRAIN!

19. PETTY LARCENY.

20. DO YOU MIND, ZORAK? I'M GETTING SUED HERE.

21. I DON'T MIND. GO AHEAD AND GET SUED.

22. SEE IF I CARE.

23. HEY, THIS IS SERIOUS, GHOSTAL.

24. MY CLIENTS ARE PREPARED TO SUE THE UNITARD OFF OF YOU.

25. CLIENTS, MY ASTEROIDS.

26. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY JUST ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR STUPID SUPERVILLAIN PLOTS.

27. OH, YEAH, WEISENHEIMER?

28. I GOT YOUR CLIENTS RIGHT HERE.

29. THE WONDER TWINS?

30. YOU JERK, TAD. IT'S US—JAN AND JACE.

31. OH, YOU TWO. AH, FIGURES.

32. WE TOLD YOU IF YOU DIDN'T RETURN OUR CALLS,

33. YOU'D HEAR FROM OUR LAWYER,

34. AND OUR LAWYER IS DR. NIGHTMARE.

35. YOU OWE US, TAD. WE AREN'T SEEING A DIME FROM THOSE RERUNS.

36. YOU SIGNED THE CONTRACTS. NOBODY FORCED YOU...

37. MUCH.

38. WE WERE JUST KIDS, TAD. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING,

39. TAKING CHILDREN INTO SPACE TO FIGHT CRIME,

40. EXPOSING US TO INTERSTELLAR GASES, LASER RAYS,

41. AND UNEARTHLY ATMOSPHERES WHICH STUNTED OUR GROWTH?

42. LOOK AT US. WE'RE STILL TEENAGERS.

43. I'M STUCK IN A PERPETUAL PREPUBESCENCE, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

44. SO WE'RE SUING YOU FOR BACK WAGES

45. AND DAMAGES STEMMING FROM EMOTIONAL DISTRESS,

46. MENTAL CRUELTY,

47. AND FOR PREVENTING US FROM RECEIVING THE SCHOOLING

48. WHICH MIGHT HAVE PROVIDED US

49. WITH A FUTURE!

50. HA HA!

51. AH, THOSE POOR KIDS.

52. I-I'M SORRY, DR. NIGHTMARE.

53. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.

54. IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON.

55. NOW WIPE YOUR NOSE. YOU'RE ON TELEVISION.

56. I'LL WIPE SPACE GHOST—

57. GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!

58. YOU CAN FIGHT LIKE ITSY-BITSY BABIES LATER.

59. HUH. RIGHT NOW, WE HAVE ADULT NAME-CALLING AND MUDSLINGING TO ATTEND TO.

60. AHEM. SHOULD I START?

61. OH, BY ALL MEANS.

62. SHYSTER. POLTROON.

63. AMBULANCE CHASER.

64. NO-TALENT HANNA-BARBARIAN!

65. BIG MEANIE! KNISH EATER!

66. UH, MUMBLY PEG!

67. WHY DOES THAT MONKEY HAVE TO BE HERE ANYWAY?

68. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. THE MONKEY'S SUING YOU, TOO.

69. CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR SOMETHING.

70. STUPID CHIMP. SMELLY EATER OF FILTH.

71. YOU CREEP. BLIP'S NOT DIRTY.

72. I TAKE HIM INTO THE SHOWER MYSELF TO CLEAN HIS—

73. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH! JOKE'S OVER!

74. THIS AIN'T NO JOKE, GHOSTAL!

75. I GOT CLIENTS BESIDES THE KIDS AND THE HAIRBALL

76. LINING UP TO SUE THE POWER BANDS OFF YOU.

77. YOU EVER HEAR OF CAMERON DIAZ,

78. FLIP ORLEY, SEAN MEDLOCK,

79. THE HOOVER DAM?

80. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

81. DOES FRANCE RING A BELL?

82. I NEVER TOUCHED FRANCE!

83. SURE YOU DID. YOU BLEW IT UP.

84. OH, WELL, MAYBE I DID. C'EST LA VIE.

85. LOOK, GHOSTAL, MY MIDGETY CLIENTS HERE

86. ARE WILLING TO SETTLE THIS LAWSUIT

87. IF YOU'LL BE WILLING TO, SAY, REHIRE THEM FOR YOUR TALK SHOW.

88. IS IT A DEAL?

89. EW! NO CAN DO, DR. NIGHTMARE!

90. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.

91. I'VE ALREADY GOT

92. TWO CUTE, USELESS SIDEKICKS.

93. I'M NOT USELESS.

94. I'M NOT CUTE.

95. I'M NOT RAPPAPORT.

96. WELL, IF YOU WON'T SETTLE IT,

97. I'M FORCED TO SUE YOU FOR $32 MILLION,

98. PLUS EXPENSES AND A PLAY TOY FOR THE CHIMP.

99. WHOA! I WANT IN ON THAT LAWSUIT.

100. OK, SURE, THERE, ZORAK.

101. ON WHAT GROUNDS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUE, YOU KNOW,

102. MR. BIG, BIG, FAT BODY OVER THERE?

103. AH, MENTAL CRUELTY, PHYSICAL CRUELTY,

104. DEFAMATION OF CARTOON CHARACTER—

105. YOU ROTTEN KIDS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I OWE YOU NOTHING.

106. WITHOUT ME, YOU'D BE ON THE HERCULOIDS PLANET

107. FOLLOWING GLEEP AND GLOOP WITH BROOMS.

108. AND YOU TWO ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS OF MINE.

109. I'M TELLING THAT FAT GEEK-A-NERD WHO DOES MY WEB PAGE

110. TO OFFICIALLY LIST YOU TWO INGRATES AS ENEMIES FROM NOW ON.

111. I'VE HEARD ENOUGH, GHOSTAL!

112. I'M GONNA WORK YOU OVER IN COURT LIKE HOBOES INTO STEAKS.

113. YEAH. YOU HAVEN'T GOT A GHOST OF A CHANCE, TAD.

114. HA HA! GOOD ONE, JACE.

115. "HA HA! GOOD ONE, JACE!"

116. OH...

117. OH, BOY. THE SHATNER'S REALLY HIT THE FAN NOW.

118. I'M UP DAWSON'S CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE.

119. YOU KNOW, MY UNCLE MIRANDA GOT SUED ONCE.

120. THAT'S NICE.

121. I'M GONNA GET MY OWN BIG SHOT LAWYER

122. AND FIGHT FIRE WITH NAPALM.

123. MOLTAR, PHONE BOOK! LAWYER, EXTRAPOLATE!

124. NAPALM... AH, TO BE YOUNG AGAIN.

125. YOUR CALL IS BEING CONNECTED WITH THE NEXT AVAILABLE HIGH-PRICED LAWYER.

126. PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE.

127. PERRY MASON.

128. MATLOCK. MATLOCK.

129. PERRY, PERRY, PERRY...

130. MATLOCK!

131. QUINCY!

132. QUINCY'S NOT A LAWYER.

133. HE'S BETTER THAN A LAWYER.

134. HE'S A CORONER.

135. WHEW, MAMA, AM I NERVOUS.

136. SWEATING LIKE A TREKKIE.

137. I SMELL LIKE OIL OF OLESTRA.

138. OH, WHAT A SPECIAL JACKET.

139. HOW ABOUT THAT?

140. OOH...

141. WELL...

142. HI THERE, MISS...

143. GRETA VAN SUSTEREN, LAWYER.

144. SPACE GHOST, INTERGALACTIC DREAM BOAT.

145. HEY! THAT'S MY SOUND EFFECT!

146. I'M SUING!

147. ME, TOO! I DON'T HAVE ANY LINES IN THIS SHOW.

148. YOU SEE, GRETA, I'M HAVING SOME LEGAL PROBLEMS, AND—

149. LIKE WHAT, SPACE GHOST? MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU.

150. WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS.

151. I USED TO HAVE THESE SIDEKICKS— JAN AND JACE.

152. MM-HMM.

153. AND, WELL, THEY HIRED MY OLD ARCH-ENEMY DR. NIGHTMARE...

154. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.

155. TO SUE ME.

156. OH, DEAR. FOR WHAT?

157. OH, STUPID STUFF.

158. THEY SAY I ENDANGERED THEIR LIVES,

159. STUNTED THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT,

160. RIPPED THEM OFF—

161. YOU KNOW, STUPID KID STUFF.

162. FOR HOW MANY YEARS HAS THIS BEEN PENDING, SPACE GHOST,

163. AND HOW MUCH DO YOU OWE THEM?

164. I DON'T KNOW. 32 MILLION.

165. THAT'S A LOT, SPACE GHOST.

166. YEAH. WELL, YOU SEE, THE THING IS,

167. THEY WERE YOUNG WHEN THEY WORKED FOR ME.

168. BUT SEE, YOU'VE JUST NOW ADMITTED THAT YOU EMPLOYED THEM.

169. NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, SPACE GHOST?

170. THAT WAS A TRICK.

171. I ASKED YOU HOW LONG YOU HOW LONG YOU HAD EMPLOYED THEM

172. OR WHETHER THEY WORKED FOR YOU, AND YOU ADMITTED IT.

173. GRETA, BE NICE.

174. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO DEFEND ME?

175. I'LL DEFEND YOU.

176. OK. WHERE DO WE START?

177. CASH UP FRONT. NO CREDIT CARDS. JUST CASH UP FRONT.

178. I'D RECONSIDER THAT, BABE.

179. I JUST UNCOVERED SOME DAMAGING EVIDENCE AGAINST BIG BOY THERE.

180. ROLL THAT FILM, MOLTAR.

181. PLEASE, SPACE GHOST,

182. DON'T MAKE US FIGHT TYRANOR AND HIS SPACE PIRANHAS.

183. MY LUNGS JUST HEALED FROM THE BEATING METALLUS GAVE US.

184. YOU LITTLE WIMPS MAKE ME SICK!

185. DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE HOME? IS THAT IT? HUH?

186. NO.

187. WELL, THEN, STOP SNIVELING AND GO CAPTURE TYRANOR.

188. I'LL, UH, CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.

189. I'M, UH, GONNA GO GET A QUESADILLA.

190. JACE, LOOK OUT!

191. YOU LOSERS! NO DINNER FOR YOU TONIGHT!

192. AND DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT PARIS.

193. I GOT THAT ON TAPE, TOO.

194. YOU'RE KIDDING?

195. NO. HE, UH... I KIND OF ZAPPED—

196. WHAT, DID YOU ZAP PARIS?

197. AW, YOU KNOW, THEY BUG ME WITH THEIR FRENCHNESS.

198. WELL, MAYBE, SPACE GHOST, MAYBE YOU HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM.

199. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

200. WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE PROVOKING THESE LAWSUITS.

201. DOES THAT MEAN I'M IN TROUBLE?

202. YEAH, I THINK YOU ARE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.

203. OH, BOY, OH, BOY.

204. I JUST THINK IT'S HOPELESS FOR YOU.

205. I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY HOPELESS.

206. I DON'T THINK ANYTHING'S GONNA HELP YOU.

207. COME ON, THINK OF SOMETHING!

208. YOU KNOW WHAT? WE MAY BE ABLE TO WORK A DEAL OUT, SPACE GHOST,

209. TO HELP BOTH OF US.

210. YOU THINK SO? I'M LISTENING.

211. WELL, COULD DR. NIGHTMARE COME TOMORROW?

212. SURE THING, BABE!

213. MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT OVER DINNER. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

214. NO DEALS! WE WANT OUR MONEY!

215. COME ON, KIDS. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

216. Dr. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN IN JAIL.

217. REALLY? FOR STEALING A BRAIN.

218. FOR STEALING A BRAIN?

219. YES. IT WAS SPACE GHOST'S BRAIN.

220. YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T STEAL SOMEONE'S BRAIN.

221. I SUPPOSE, BUT I KEPT PART OF IT.

222. YOU PAY UP, TAD, OR I'LL TELL EVERYBODY WHAT YOU DID TO DINO BOY.

223. PREPARE FOR A BLAST FROM MY SPANK RAY.

224. Dr. DON'T YOU ADDRESS MY PIMPLY CLIENT THAT WAY.

225. Space Ghost: GRETA, LEGAL ADVICE, NOW!

226. I DON'T KNOW. YOU'RE SPACE GHOST. CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?

227. I COULD PLEAD THE FIFTH.

228. IF YOU COULD COUNT THAT HIGH.

229. I THINK YOU GOT A PROBLEM, SPACE GHOST.

230. LOOK, GRETA, WE BOTH WORK FOR TURNER.

231. WHOA! HOLD ON A SECOND!

232. TURNER? YOU MEAN TED TURNER?

233. IS THERE A PROBLEM, DR. NIGHTMARE?

234. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW!

235. YOU BET THERE'S A PROBLEM.

236. YOU SEE, TED TURNER... IS MY FATHER.

237. SORRY, KIDS, BUT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

238. I'LL FAX YOU MY BILL. SEE YOU LATER.

239. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, JACE!

240. WE COULD HAVE LISTENED TO HARVEY AND BEEN BIRDBOY AND BIRDGIRL,

241. BUT NO, YOU HAD TO HAVE INVISO POWER.

242. I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

243. JAN! JAN! GET A GRIP ON...

244. ON YOURSELF.

245. WHAT WAS THAT?

246. I'VE HIT PUBERTY.

247. YIPPEE. SORRY, JAN. I'VE GOT TO GO.

248. I'VE GOT THINGS TO DO.

249. OH, WELL. THAT'S THAT. GUESS I CAN ALWAYS WRITE A TELL-ALL

250. ABOUT MY BRILLIANT CAREER WITH SPACE JERK.

251. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE HOME FREE AGAIN, SPACE GHOST.

252. AND NOW THAT I'VE BEATEN THE LEGAL SYSTEM TO A BLOODY, LIFELESS PULP,

253. IT'S YOUR TURN.

254. UH-OH.

255. SUE ME, WILL YOU?

256. MOLTAR, HELP ME!

257. AAH!

258. PLEASE STATE YOUR EMERGENCY.

259. UH, YEAH. I'D LIKE TO REPORT A FELONY IN PROGRESS.

260. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

261. CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

262. MOLTAR, YOU FINK.

263. AH HA HA HA!