1. Greetings, you people.
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2. I am the Space Ghost.
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3. If music be the food of love,
then I'm going to eat lots
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4. of the food of love.
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5. Why?
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6. Because my guests are crooners
pat Boone and Chuck d.
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7. Because my guests are crooners
pat Boone and Chuck d.
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8. Space Ghost.
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9. Yes?
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10. Do you suffer from...
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11. What?
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12. Don't be embarrassed.
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13. What are you talking about?
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14. Only the comfort and affordability
of Dr. kwazar's industrial ointment.
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15. Ointment?
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16. Industrial ointment!
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17. It's good.
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18. Hey, Space Ghost, let me clue you
in to the premise of this episode.
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19. Zorak just got his first endorsement deal.
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20. Deal? Let me tell you about a good deal
and a good ointment— Dr. kwazar's—
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21. yeah, yeah, yeah.
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22. Celebrity endorsement.
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23. I remember my first one of those.
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24. And this goes along with the premise.
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25. Take that, you hot creature!
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26. Ahh!
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27. After I finish off a horde of nasty villains,
I like to re-energize
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28. with the delicious taste of
sugarmans potted meat food product.
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29. Sugarmans potted meat food
product contains 2% real meat
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30. food product contains 2% real
meat and meat by-products.
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31. That's right, 2% real meat to
go along with superhero-sized
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32. portions of sodium nitrate, potassium
bicarbonate, pyridoxine hydrochloride,
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33. biotin, cobalt iodate,
thiamine mononitrate, thenadiol
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34. bisulfate, sodium selenite,
d-l-Alpha-tocopherol acetate,
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35. glucuronalactone, lanacetol,
pantothenic acid, and maltodextrin.
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36. Ask for sugarmans... Meat like grandma used to pot.
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37. Mmm. Mmm.
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38. I thought they went out of business.
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39. Yeah, but I got a closet full of this stuff.
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40. That's how they paid me.
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41. Mmm. Ah!
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42. Suckers.
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43. If I start like this, that would be ok?
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44. If I start like this, that would be ok?
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45. At some point I'll take them off,
maybe put them back, but that's ok?
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46. You've obviously given this a lot of thought.
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47. Space Ghost might, if he wants to,
make some reference to the fact that—
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48. you're wearing sunglasses?
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49. No. He thought they had pat Boone here,
but obviously... They've made
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50. a mistake.
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51. They've got some heavy metal
rocker here or something.
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52. Uh, sure, you can give him that option,
but, uh, lose the gum.
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53. Ok.
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54. My first guest is my all-time
favorite recording artist of all time.
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55. I am pat Boone.
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56. We need to lose the glasses, pat.
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57. That could be arranged.
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58. That could be arranged.
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59. Did I shake you up a little bit?
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60. No.
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61. Listen, I am— pat, in 1955,
you recorded the monster hit
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62. April love.
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63. Pat, in 1955, you recorded the
monster hit April love.
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64. Who was your inspiration for that masterpiece?
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65. Well, yes, I was influenced.
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66. I don't know if you remember
the great name bing Crosby.
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67. Der bingle!
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68. Der bingle. You're right.
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69. Hey, you continually amaze me. Yes.
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70. That's because I'm amazing.
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71. Did you know I invented the cotton gin
because I needed a more efficient way
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72. to de-seed my cotton bales?
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73. And get this.
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74. I've never owned a watch.
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75. Good.
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76. Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin!
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77. Lies! Stop with your slanderous lies!
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78. Lies! Stop with your slanderous lies!
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79. Just because you've never done anything,
you lazy piece of space garbage!
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80. The look, the feel of cotton.
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81. That's all mine!
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82. It does not surprise me.
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83. It really doesn't surprise me.
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84. Zorak, every time you swab your filthy ears,
you should fall to your knees
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85. and thank me for me and my amazing invention!
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86. Yeah, I'll do that.
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87. Pat, do you suffer from inflammation?
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88. Boy, I don't know about you
space creatures, but earthlings
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89. need lots of fiber.
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90. It's fiberlicious, pat.
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91. It's fiberlicious, pat.
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92. Yeah. Keeps you going good.
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93. Do you use the ointment?
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94. Zorak, a talk show is not the place
to promote your personal projects!
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95. Boy, scolding zorak sure
builds up a man-sized appetite.
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96. I could go for a bowl of pulverized
organ mash basted in sweet
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97. intestinal bile fluids.
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98. Then strap on your bib, Space Ghost,
and saddle up to a heaping helping
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99. of sugarmans bovine-flavored potted meat!
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100. Have a cow, man!
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101. A sugarman cow!
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102. You certainly— hey, that could be your slogan.
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103. Whoa! Hey, pat, we're reading each other's heads.
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104. I know. See?
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105. And I'm enjoying this.
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106. Hey, why are you guys just sitting there, huh?
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107. Ha ha ha!
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108. Zorak has a tiny brain.
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109. Yeah. Well, maybe you got a point.
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110. Ahem.
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111. Do you remember that time at radio city?
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112. I was the one in the third row from the back—
you know, the one with
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113. the mask and the cape, and I was saying,
"go, pat. Sing another song."
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114. That was a little cheer I made up.
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115. Remember that?
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116. Yeah, yeah.
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117. Go, pat.
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118. Sing another song.
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119. Go, pat.
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120. Sing another song.
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121. Go pat.
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122. Sing another song.
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123. But the way you sing it, pat,
makes me think it's got at least 3.
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124. There should probably be at
least one other melodic note.
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125. We should cut that, man.
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126. We should go into the studio and
lay that bad boy down right now
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127. while the creative juices are still flowing!
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128. Come on, pat, let's go!
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129. Pat!
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130. How'd your session go?
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131. Sweet as ice!
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132. Sweet as ice!
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133. Oh, yeah?
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134. I had to punch pat in the jaw a couple of times,
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135. but other than that,
I'd say we built a wall of groove.
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136. Well, let's hear it.
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137. Pat's still tinkering with the mix.
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138. And now let's mess up the
mix for rap artist Chuck d.
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139. Hey, thanks a lot.
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140. Greetings, Chuck, old buddy.
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141. What's up, Space Ghost?
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142. I've been a fan of yours
since about 1966. Remember?
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143. Ahh... 1966.
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144. Those 4 numerals, placed sequentially,
still look the same.
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145. Chuck, do you use the ointment?
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146. Zorak!
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147. I'm just asking.
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148. Zorak!
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149. I'm just asking.
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150. Don't answer that, Chuck.
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151. My bandleader is wack.
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152. There's no such thing as anybody being wack.
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153. There's no such thing as anybody being wack.
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154. It just means that you need to
work on your stuff a little better.
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155. Oh, he's wack all right.
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156. He's a wacky pack!
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157. Oh, he's wack all right.
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158. He's a wacky pack!
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159. Ok.
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160. I have a rap question.
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161. Do rappers use the ointment?
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162. Ok, zorak. I'm sick of this.
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163. Tell us about your amazing ointment tell us about
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164. your amazing ointment and get it out of your system
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165. so you'll shut up!
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166. It, um, oh, um... It's—it's good.
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167. It's good ointment.
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168. Is that it?
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169. Are you done?
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170. It, uh, it—it makes your skin all creamy and nice.
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171. Here. Dab some on your face.
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172. No!
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173. Ok, it's—I mean, you don't have to.
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174. It's your loss, really.
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175. Shut up!
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176. It's your skin.
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177. Shut up!
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178. But see, look at my pincers.
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179. Shut up!
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180. Ok!
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181. Chuck, you want to run some ball later?
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182. I can make a lay-up.
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183. I used to dunk when I was in 11th grade.
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184. I have to bounce the ball with both hands.
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185. I hear you.
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186. You ever go down to the run and shoot?
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187. Uh, no, but one time I blew up a porta-potty.
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188. Oh, I hear you.
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189. I had to change clothes after that.
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190. Now, Chuck, my favorite rapper is m. C. Escher.
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191. I could tell.
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192. Please, escher, don't hurt him.
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193. Chuck, how do you feel about the east coast/
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194. west coast beef?
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195. East coast/west coast?
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196. Oh, I just think it's largely fake.
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197. All right.
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198. So don't believe the hype.
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199. Chuck, what's with all the record scratching?
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200. I mean, records aren't made to
take that kind of a beating.
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201. Ha ha ha!
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202. Maybe not, Space Ghost.
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203. You like goody mo b?
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204. Yeah. Goody mo's the bomb.
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205. Now, goody mo, fugees— yeah. Goody mo's the bomb.
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206. Now, goody mo, fugees— wu tang!
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207. Yeah, wu tang.
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208. They're hitting near the bottom.
I think— you don't have to
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209. talk to zorak, Chuck.
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210. He's not dope or fresh!
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211. He was asking some pretty good rap questions.
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212. Pt-pt-pt-pt-pt...
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213. Well, look, everyone.
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214. It's the rapping space goblin,
here to do us a solid
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215. by providing some valuable
information for you kids out there.
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216. Let's listen.
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217. with the rapping space goblin?
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218. No.
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219. Your loss.
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220. Rapping space goblin, what's the
word on the street regarding
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221. a healthy diet?
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222. Ah, there we go.
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223. Zorak, you have destroyed an
important educational tool.
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224. Zorak, you have destroyed an
important educational tool.
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225. So?
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226. And a dear friend.
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227. Aah!
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228. Everything is cool.
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229. Everything's peace in here, right?
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230. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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231. And now let's listen to Mr. pat
Boone and I performing my new
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232. hit single Space Ghost, he's the space most.
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