1. So we meet again,
Jennifer Lopez.Copy !req
2. "No, no, please!Copy !req
3. This time I swear I won't make
any more albums or movies."Copy !req
4. That's what
you said last time,Copy !req
5. but obviously we must now resort
to more drastic measures.Copy !req
6. "Oh God,
it burns! It burns!"Copy !req
7. Scream for me, bitch!Copy !req
8. "Aah!"Copy !req
9. - Whoa! Awesome!
- Hey, guys.Copy !req
10. You guys, come here!
You got to check this out!Copy !req
11. Oh no, what now?Copy !req
12. No, you guys,
this is really cool.Copy !req
13. Come on!Copy !req
14. What's this
all about, Kenny?Copy !req
15. Watch this.
It's so funny.Copy !req
16. Come here, Garden,
come on.Copy !req
17. Red Rocket, Red Rocket!Copy !req
18. Red Rocket,
Red Rocket, heh-heh!Copy !req
19. Come on!Copy !req
20. Cartman, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
21. I'm milking the dog.
They make dog milk.Copy !req
22. No, they don't.
- Yeah, they do!Copy !req
23. Yeah, just
hold on a minute.Copy !req
24. The 5th graders showed us
how to do it.Copy !req
25. Red Rocket, come on, dog,
Red Rocket.Copy !req
26. Oh, hoo!Copy !req
27. Whoa, cool!
- That's awesome!Copy !req
28. I told you guys.Copy !req
29. I had no idea dogs made milk.
Do it again.Copy !req
30. Dumb ass, you can only milk
a dog once every few hours.Copy !req
31. It doesn't work if you beat off
a dog again right away.Copy !req
32. You "beat off"?Copy !req
33. That's what it's called
when you milk a dog,Copy !req
34. beating it off.Copy !req
35. Don't you guys
know anything?Copy !req
36. Wow, you learned all this
from the 5th graders?Copy !req
37. Yeah, I guess they
thought we were cool,Copy !req
38. so they showed us
how to do it.Copy !req
39. Hey, come here, dog.
Dog, come here.Copy !req
40. Heh-heh-heh.Copy !req
41. I was really happy
with this month's book.Copy !req
42. I agree with what
Bob and Linda said—Copy !req
43. Mom, Dad,
you got to see this!Copy !req
44. not now, Stanley.Copy !req
45. This is mommy and daddy's
Book Club night, remember?Copy !req
46. But it's super cool!Copy !req
47. Later, sweetie.Copy !req
48. Anyway, I found myself enticed
by Steinbeck's imagery.Copy !req
49. The first chapter alone
was filled with poetry.Copy !req
50. Oh, wasn't it?Copy !req
51. I mean,
the first sentence...Copy !req
52. Red Rocket, Red Rocket!Copy !req
53. "Cannery Row in Monterey
in CaliforniaCopy !req
54. is a poem, a stint,
a grating noise."Copy !req
55. It's amazing how,
with three images,Copy !req
56. he puts you
right there and...Copy !req
57. Red Rocket,
Red Rocket!Copy !req
58. Ahh!Copy !req
59. Stanley, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
60. I'm beating off
the dog.Copy !req
61. Red Rocket,
Red Rocket!Copy !req
62. Stanley, you go
to your room right now!Copy !req
63. My room, why?Copy !req
64. Go, Stanley!Copy !req
65. He gets
very good grades.Copy !req
66. Stanley,
do you know whyCopy !req
67. you're being grounded
for ten months?Copy !req
68. No!Copy !req
69. Beating off the dog
is not appropriateCopy !req
70. when we have company.Copy !req
71. I mean... ever!Copy !req
72. Beating off the dog
is not appropriate ever.Copy !req
73. Why?
What's the big deal?Copy !req
74. Stanley, don't you understand
what you were doing?Copy !req
75. I was doing red rocket to make
the dog's milk come out.Copy !req
76. No, Stan, what you're doing
to the dog was... sexual.Copy !req
77. Huh?Copy !req
78. You were stimulating
the dog, Stanley.Copy !req
79. What came out of him
was his...Copy !req
80. Randy?Copy !req
81. Well, you know, when you
do that to a male...Copy !req
82. You make his...
stuff come out.Copy !req
83. Well, Jesus.
Haven't they taught youCopy !req
84. these things in school?Copy !req
85. What things?
- Sexual Education.Copy !req
86. Haven't you learned that yet?Copy !req
87. No!Copy !req
88. Oh, well,
you see, Stanley—Copy !req
89. Well, your school should be
teaching this stuff.Copy !req
90. Yeah, let's get that
damn school on the phone.Copy !req
91. Okay, parents, I know a lot
of you want a chance to speak,Copy !req
92. but we have to talk
one at a time.Copy !req
93. Look, our kids are learning
sexual thingsCopy !req
94. on the streets
and on television.Copy !req
95. There's no way
we can stop it.Copy !req
96. The schools have to teach them
sexual educationCopy !req
97. at a younger age.Copy !req
98. School policy has been
to teach sexual education later,Copy !req
99. in the 6th grade.Copy !req
100. it isn't
soon enough.Copy !req
101. Yeah, why,
just this afternoon,Copy !req
102. our son was caught
beating off our dog.Copy !req
103. Look, parents, do you
really want your childrenCopy !req
104. learning about sex?Copy !req
105. Part of the fun of being a kid
is being naive.Copy !req
106. Let them be kids
for a while.Copy !req
107. Naive at what cost, Chef?Copy !req
108. Parents,
we have to face facts.Copy !req
109. Children in America are having
sex at younger and younger ages.Copy !req
110. STDs are affecting younger
and younger kids all the time.Copy !req
111. The only way we can
combat thatCopy !req
112. is by educating children
before they have sex.Copy !req
113. The first thing
that kids learn about sexCopy !req
114. shouldn't be some big
scare tactic about STDs.Copy !req
115. No, she's right.Copy !req
116. With all the teen pregnancies
that are out today,Copy !req
117. I think my boy does need to know
about sexual education.Copy !req
118. From the school.Copy !req
119. Yeah, uh-huh.
- Yeah, we have to.Copy !req
120. Okay, boys,
this is the first dayCopy !req
121. of Sexual Education,
m'kay now.Copy !req
122. I know that some of you
think this is very funny,Copy !req
123. words like
"penis" and "vagina."Copy !req
124. Now, stop that, m'kay?Copy !req
125. We're gonna get through this
by being mature and grown up.Copy !req
126. M'kay?Copy !req
127. Now, this is
the male anatomy, m'kay?Copy !req
128. Here we see the testes
and the scrotum.Copy !req
129. Stop that, m'kay?Copy !req
130. The next person that laughs
is gonna get a referral.Copy !req
131. M'kay...Copy !req
132. Now, in order to have
intercourse, m'kay,Copy !req
133. the man takes
his penis, and he...Copy !req
134. Uh, let's see.Copy !req
135. The man takes
his penis, and he... hmm.Copy !req
136. Dude, haven't you ever had
intercourse, Mr. Mackey?Copy !req
137. Well, sure I have.
It's just...Copy !req
138. I was about
19 at the time.Copy !req
139. It's been about
21 years.Copy !req
140. M'kay...Copy !req
141. Let's see, uh...Copy !req
142. I'm pretty sure I took—
yeah, I took the penis, and I—Copy !req
143. What the hell did I do
with that damn thing?Copy !req
144. Alright, girls,Copy !req
145. even though this may be stuff
you don't want to hear,Copy !req
146. you need to hear it.Copy !req
147. Oh, we want to hear it,
Miss Choksondik;Copy !req
148. We're excited.Copy !req
149. Yeah, we think
it's gonna be fun.Copy !req
150. Yeah!Copy !req
151. Fun?
It's going to be fun?Copy !req
152. Well let's start with our
first lesson, then, shall we?Copy !req
153. Sexually transmitted
diseases!Copy !req
154. That's right, because unless
you get boys to wear condoms,Copy !req
155. you can and will get a sexually
transmitted disease from them.Copy !req
156. How fun is that, hmm?
Is that fun?Copy !req
157. I didn't mean that—Copy !req
158. Today over 20,000 Americans
will contract a sexual disease.Copy !req
159. Today!
12,000 more tomorrow.Copy !req
160. And the reason is that you girls
wake up in the morningCopy !req
161. and say, "it's not gonna
happen to me."Copy !req
162. You say,
"oh, Miss Choksondik,Copy !req
163. "that happens to girls
in Detroit and BrooklynCopy !req
164. but not here
in Colorado."Copy !req
165. Wrong!Copy !req
166. Gonorrhea, herpes,
chlamydia, HPV, HIV,Copy !req
167. syphilis, hepatitis "b,"
hepatitis "c"--Copy !req
168. the list goes on and on.Copy !req
169. These are
serious diseases!Copy !req
170. They have serious
consequences!Copy !req
171. You think that sex is about
fun and games and love.Copy !req
172. Wrong!
Sex is about disease.Copy !req
173. Here's a little picture
of herpes.Copy !req
174. And here's a little
syphilis for ya.Copy !req
175. That's right, girls.Copy !req
176. Here's what happens when you
don't get boys to use condoms.Copy !req
177. Hello, there, children.Copy !req
178. Hey, Chef.Copy !req
179. How is sexual
education class going?Copy !req
180. it's dumb; Mr. Mackey
doesn't teach us nothin'.Copy !req
181. Yeah, I don't think
ol' MackeyCopy !req
182. knows a hymen
from a hysterectomy.Copy !req
183. And Choksondik,
I'd be surprisedCopy !req
184. if she's ever gotten
laid in her life.Copy !req
185. Yeah.
- Chef, what's "laid"?Copy !req
186. Oh, nothing.Copy !req
187. Now, move along, children.
You're holding up the line.Copy !req
188. Hey, maybe
we should ask the girlsCopy !req
189. what they learned
in Sex Ed.Copy !req
190. Yeah.Copy !req
191. Hey, Wendy,
did you guys get—Copy !req
192. What the hell is
wrong with them?Copy !req
193. You guys,
we just want to know—Copy !req
194. Aah!
- Stay away from me, Stan!Copy !req
195. Why?
Are you wearing a condom?Copy !req
196. A what?
- Aah!Copy !req
197. Do any of you have
your condoms on?Copy !req
198. No.Copy !req
199. Don't you know that
without wearing a condom,Copy !req
200. you could
get a disease?Copy !req
201. Nah-ah.
- Yeah-huh.Copy !req
202. If you don't wear a condom,
you're gonna get AIDS.Copy !req
203. AIDS?Copy !req
204. Oh, jeez, I don't wanna
get the AIDS, fellas.Copy !req
205. Is that what you learned
in Sex Ed?Copy !req
206. Mr. Mackey didn't say
nothing about that.Copy !req
207. Dude, Mr. Mackey didn't know
anything about anything.Copy !req
208. You guys have to wear
condoms.Copy !req
209. Now, please, just—
just go away.Copy !req
210. We don't want your AIDS.Copy !req
211. But, Wendy, we don't
understand how—Copy !req
212. Oh my God, dude.Copy !req
213. What are we
gonna do, huh?Copy !req
214. Dude, we got to go get
condoms quick.Copy !req
215. Yeah.Copy !req
216. Can I help you boys?Copy !req
217. Yeah, we need
condoms.Copy !req
218. Condoms?Copy !req
219. Yeah, quick.Copy !req
220. How old
are you boys?Copy !req
221. Why does that matter?Copy !req
222. I'll be nine
next week.Copy !req
223. Sorry, kids, I'm not
selling you condoms.Copy !req
224. Why not? You want us
to get AIDS?Copy !req
225. I just don't think that
kids your age should be—Copy !req
226. Mark, we have to be willing
to supply condomsCopy !req
227. to anyone
who requests them.Copy !req
228. But they're children!Copy !req
229. Would you rather them
do it unprotected?Copy !req
230. Yeah, you want us
unprotected, you asshole?Copy !req
231. I just think that all this
Sex Ed and condom talkCopy !req
232. in elementary school
is wrong.Copy !req
233. Kids are going to do
what they do,Copy !req
234. and it's up to us to make sure
they're protected.Copy !req
235. I'm glad this lady's
on our side.Copy !req
236. I don't think we have any
that will even fit them.Copy !req
237. Sure, we do.Copy !req
238. We just got in the new
Gladiators for kids,Copy !req
239. Lil Mini's.Copy !req
240. They're specially designed
for kids under 10,Copy !req
241. and they're only $5.95
for a box of 50.Copy !req
242. 50?Copy !req
243. Can't we just use
the same one every day?Copy !req
244. No, you have to change it.Copy !req
245. Oh, jeez, we're gonna have
to buy tons of these things.Copy !req
246. Thanks so much for letting me
come over, Miss Choksondik.Copy !req
247. Oh, it's no problem,
Mr. Mackey.Copy !req
248. It's probably best
we come upCopy !req
249. with a lesson plan
together anyway.Copy !req
250. yeah, I've already gone over
most of the basics, you know,Copy !req
251. with the boys,
but I, uh,Copy !req
252. just wanted to see what else
you were teaching the girlsCopy !req
253. in case
I missed anything.Copy !req
254. We should make sure
our studentsCopy !req
255. are good and scared
of the consequences.Copy !req
256. We have to teach them
that diseases are possible,Copy !req
257. even with just oral sex.Copy !req
258. Right, oral sex,
which of course would be...Copy !req
259. using your mouth
on the penis or vagina.Copy !req
260. Penis or vagina, right.
Oral sex, m'kay.Copy !req
261. It's just too bad these girls
are having sex so young.Copy !req
262. Yeah... did you?Copy !req
263. Did I what?Copy !req
264. Well, how long did you wait
before you had, uh, doobers?Copy !req
265. Well, if you must know,
I'm still somewhat of a virgin.Copy !req
266. But I'm not
ashamed of it!Copy !req
267. I wasn't really sought after
much in high school or college.Copy !req
268. I was made fun of most my life
for having such large glasses.Copy !req
269. The only boyfriend
I ever hadCopy !req
270. was this attractive, popular
boy named Steven Garret.Copy !req
271. I liked him very much, but
I found out he was dating meCopy !req
272. because he had lost a bet
on the Super Bowl.Copy !req
273. Loser had to go out with me
for three days.Copy !req
274. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
275. People can be
very cruel.Copy !req
276. Anyway, I know
it's hard to understand.Copy !req
277. Actually, I understand
perfectly.Copy !req
278. I wasn't exactly the captain
of the football team either.Copy !req
279. And then as I got older,Copy !req
280. my head just sort of
seemed to get biggerCopy !req
281. while the rest of my body
stayed the same.Copy !req
282. That's how I got
my nickname in college.Copy !req
283. Your nickname?Copy !req
284. "That guy
with the really big head."Copy !req
285. Right.Copy !req
286. Anyway, I sort of
lost any confidenceCopy !req
287. and found it impossible
to ever ask a woman out.Copy !req
288. Wow, I've never met a manCopy !req
289. who was as sexually
unappealing as me.Copy !req
290. Neither have I.Copy !req
291. Well, I'm quite happy
without sex.Copy !req
292. I mean, with all the diseases
and problems out there,Copy !req
293. who needs it, right?Copy !req
294. Not me.
M'kay.Copy !req
295. Well, back to
the lesson plan, then.Copy !req
296. Right.
- Okay, oral sex.Copy !req
297. Doesn't it give
any other directions?Copy !req
298. No, it looks likeCopy !req
299. you're just supposed to roll it
over your wiener.Copy !req
300. "If used properly,
latex condoms are effectiveCopy !req
301. against pregnancy, AIDS,
and other 'STDses'."Copy !req
302. What are "STDses"?Copy !req
303. How the heck
should I know?Copy !req
304. Why, it's just
a little doughnut.Copy !req
305. Oh, it's all gooey.Copy !req
306. Just put it on,
Butters.Copy !req
307. How come
I got to go first?Copy !req
308. Butters, will you stop...
filibustering?Copy !req
309. Alright, then.Copy !req
310. Oh, it's sticky.Copy !req
311. It says you got to check it
for holes or tears.Copy !req
312. I don't even understand
how this thing—Copy !req
313. Oh, wait, oh, I see.Copy !req
314. Don't look at Butters'
schlong, gaymo!Copy !req
315. I wasn't looking
at his schlong.Copy !req
316. I was seeing how to put
the condom on!Copy !req
317. Sure.
- But it won't stay on.Copy !req
318. I need a rubber band
or something.Copy !req
319. I've got
rubber bands!Copy !req
320. Ow, oh, ow!
Okay, ow!Copy !req
321. There, okay,
I think it's on.Copy !req
322. How do you feel?
- Pretty good.Copy !req
323. Do you feel
protected?Copy !req
324. Nothing's getting at my wiener
through this thing.Copy !req
325. It's even got a little
reservoir at the endCopy !req
326. so you can pee in it.Copy !req
327. Alright,
here, everybody.Copy !req
328. Tweek, give everyone
a rubber band.Copy !req
329. Hey, somebody's got to help
Timmy put his condom on.Copy !req
330. Timmy!Copy !req
331. Teachers,
I have some bad news.Copy !req
332. Last night, I received a phone
call from the local pharmacist.Copy !req
333. Apparently, almost all of our
4th graders are sexually active.Copy !req
334. And now that we've
scared them a little,Copy !req
335. they're buying
condoms to use.Copy !req
336. I knew it.Copy !req
337. At least we scared them
enough to protect themselves.Copy !req
338. But now maybe you'll believe me
when I say that we need to beCopy !req
339. teaching even younger
than 4th grade.Copy !req
340. but how old do you think
a student should beCopy !req
341. when they learn
about proper condom use?Copy !req
342. Kindergarten.Copy !req
343. Kindergarten?Copy !req
344. We've got to get
to the studentsCopy !req
345. before they start
having... sex,Copy !req
346. Not after.Copy !req
347. Oh, now this is
getting ridiculous.Copy !req
348. I have to agree
with Miss Choksondik.Copy !req
349. It's our responsibility
to make sure our kids are safeCopy !req
350. If they're gonna
screw around.Copy !req
351. I guess we have
no choice.Copy !req
352. Okay, children, who can
tell me what a condom is?Copy !req
353. Yes, Jenny.Copy !req
354. it flies around,
and it's endangered.Copy !req
355. That's a condor,
Jenny, condor.Copy !req
356. Condoms are what we use to stop
the spread of STDs.Copy !req
357. Yes, Filmore?Copy !req
358. Can we do
finger paints?Copy !req
359. No, we can't do
finger paints!Copy !req
360. You kids want to get
herpes, huh?Copy !req
361. How about a nice bucket
of AIDS? Sound good?Copy !req
362. Now pay attention,
alright?Copy !req
363. I'm going to show you the proper
way to put on a condom.Copy !req
364. First of all, you remove
the condom from its package.Copy !req
365. Then you find which way
the condom rolls out.Copy !req
366. Put it in your mouth
and apply.Copy !req
367. Ahhh, ahh!Copy !req
368. And it's as simple as that.
Any questions?Copy !req
369. Alright, girls,
yesterday we went overCopy !req
370. the myriad of diseases
you can get from boys.Copy !req
371. But today we're
going to talk aboutCopy !req
372. the most horrible disease
they can give you of all.Copy !req
373. Pregnancy!Copy !req
374. That's right, since you girls
decided to be sexually active,Copy !req
375. teen pregnancy
is at an all-time high.Copy !req
376. You seem to think it's gonna be
fun and neat to have a baby.Copy !req
377. Well, let's watch
a little video, shall we?Copy !req
378. Strikie Smalls presents
The Miracle of Childbirth.Copy !req
379. The time is drawing close
for delivery.Copy !req
380. Here we can see
the water breaking.Copy !req
381. Eww!Copy !req
382. Later, the contractions are
happening closer together.Copy !req
383. Mom sure is
in a lot of pain.Copy !req
384. Now we can see the crown
of the baby's headCopy !req
385. stretching
the vaginal wallsCopy !req
386. in ways never before
thought possible by Mom.Copy !req
387. Finally, the miracle happens,
and the baby is born.Copy !req
388. But Mom's not done yet.Copy !req
389. She's still got some afterbirth
to push out of her.Copy !req
390. Aaah!Copy !req
391. That's right.Copy !req
392. Girls, girls,
where are you going?Copy !req
393. Man, this condom is
driving me crazy.Copy !req
394. Yeah, I've changed mine
three times alreadyCopy !req
395. 'cause it itches so much.Copy !req
396. Yeah, but it makes going
to the bathroom easier.Copy !req
397. Alright, boys, I now have
all the information I needCopy !req
398. to teach you
the female anatomy, m'kay?Copy !req
399. M'kay, this part here
is the vaginal opening.Copy !req
400. This is where
the man puts his—Copy !req
401. Eric, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
402. I'm putting on
a new condom.Copy !req
403. I filled
the other one up.Copy !req
404. Why are you
wearing a condom?Copy !req
405. So I don't get AIDS.Copy !req
406. Eric, you can't get AIDS
from just sitting around.Copy !req
407. You have to get it
from sex.Copy !req
408. From sex?
- Yes.Copy !req
409. You mean intercourse
with a girl?Copy !req
410. Yes! Now, will you all
pay attention, please?Copy !req
411. The vagina
and the clitoris are on...Copy !req
412. All this time, it's the girls
that give us diseases.Copy !req
413. I knew it.
Girls lie!Copy !req
414. They lie
right to your face!Copy !req
415. Now, here we can see
the interior female anatomy.Copy !req
416. Well, that does it.Copy !req
417. If us boys
are going to live,Copy !req
418. we have to get rid
of the girls.Copy !req
419. Yeah, come on, guys.
This is war.Copy !req
420. Yeah.
- Come on!Copy !req
421. And here we see
the tender, magical uterus.Copy !req
422. Here we see
the enticing, voluptuousCopy !req
423. fallopian tubes, m'kay?Copy !req
424. Okay, children,
now I want to reviewCopy !req
425. the different
sexual positions.Copy !req
426. Who can tell me which sexual
positions we talked about?Copy !req
427. Missionary position?Copy !req
428. Missionary position, good.Copy !req
429. A little boring
but tried and true.Copy !req
430. What else?Copy !req
431. Doggie?Copy !req
432. That's right, Doggie Style
we went over, mm-hmm.Copy !req
433. Pile driver?Copy !req
434. Uh-huh, Pile Driver position.
Good, Quake.Copy !req
435. The Filthy Sanchez?Copy !req
436. Yes, good, Flora, you
remembered the Filthy Sanchez.Copy !req
437. Hot Karl?Copy !req
438. Yes, you can give your partner
the old Hot Karl, sure.Copy !req
439. There, you see?Copy !req
440. The girls have built some kind
of stronghold to keep us out.Copy !req
441. Stay away from us, bastards!Copy !req
442. We don't want to get pregnant!Copy !req
443. Yeah, just take your diseases
and go away forever.Copy !req
444. Ha!
They're your diseases.Copy !req
445. Yeah!
You get out of town.Copy !req
446. Here, talk to them,
Butters.Copy !req
447. Me? What the heck am I
supposed to say?Copy !req
448. Just tell them if they
leave town peacefully,Copy !req
449. we won't have to resort
to violence.Copy !req
450. Just walk away.Copy !req
451. You can put a stop
to all this.Copy !req
452. Just walk away,
and we will spare your lives.Copy !req
453. Just walk away.Copy !req
454. He's pretty good.Copy !req
455. We'll never walk away!
Never!Copy !req
456. Oh, bitch!Copy !req
457. That does it!
Attack!Copy !req
458. M'kay, so apparently,
the lesson plan tomorrowCopy !req
459. is supposed to involve secretion
of bodily fluids, m'kay.Copy !req
460. I've already gone through
that with the girls.Copy !req
461. It's pretty simple.Copy !req
462. Do you want
a drink?Copy !req
463. Why, sure.Copy !req
464. Yeah, I think I can get through
that stuff pretty quick.Copy !req
465. Ah, maybe we should come up
with another lesson plan.Copy !req
466. Something about
how nerve endingsCopy !req
467. play an important part
in intercourse.Copy !req
468. Oh, right, right.Copy !req
469. Like...
In the... nipples.Copy !req
470. or the...
shaft of the penis.Copy !req
471. It says here that
the, uh, head of the penisCopy !req
472. is actually the most
sensitive part, m'kay.Copy !req
473. Oh, yes, the nerve endings
are the most concentratedCopy !req
474. at the tip of the penis,Copy !req
475. like they are
in the clitoris of the woman.Copy !req
476. And these are the two areas
most important to...Copy !req
477. sexual stimulation.Copy !req
478. Oh, is this wrong?Copy !req
479. I don't know.
It doesn't feel wrong.Copy !req
480. I've been thinking about you
a lot, Miss Choksondik.Copy !req
481. Yeah, what do you do
when you think about me?Copy !req
482. I go crazy.Copy !req
483. Do you touch yourself?Copy !req
484. Yeah.Copy !req
485. Mmm.Copy !req
486. Ah, m'kay.Copy !req
487. Oh, my gosh. Oh, God.
Stop, stop!Copy !req
488. What's wrong?Copy !req
489. It's your turn.Copy !req
490. Oh, oh,
Miss Choksondik.Copy !req
491. M'kay, m'kay!Copy !req
492. Do you want me?
- I do.Copy !req
493. Tell me.
- I want you, m'kay.Copy !req
494. Wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
495. Do you have
a condom?Copy !req
496. Well, no.Copy !req
497. Oh, well.
Fuck it.Copy !req
498. Oh God.
Give it to me.Copy !req
499. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
500. Oh, oh, that's it, baby.
That's it.Copy !req
501. Oh, it feels
so good, m'kay.Copy !req
502. What the hell
was that?Copy !req
503. Did you feel
something?Copy !req
504. Oh no.Copy !req
505. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
506. Ooh, Butters,
you're in big trouble now.Copy !req
507. Well, I don't know
what got into you kids.Copy !req
508. You should be ashamed
of yourselves.Copy !req
509. We just didn't want
the girls giving us diseases.Copy !req
510. I'm afraid this is
all my fault.Copy !req
511. I think I went a little
overboard scaring the girls.Copy !req
512. I forgot to tell them
that to get diseases from boys,Copy !req
513. you have to have sex
with them first.Copy !req
514. Oh.Copy !req
515. Well, I hate to say it,Copy !req
516. but you all got
what you deserve.Copy !req
517. Huh?Copy !req
518. Look, schools are teaching
condom useCopy !req
519. to younger and younger
students each day.Copy !req
520. But sex isn't something
that should be taughtCopy !req
521. in textbooks and diagrams.Copy !req
522. Sex is emotional
and spiritual.Copy !req
523. It needs to be taught
by family.Copy !req
524. I know it can be hard,
parents,Copy !req
525. but if you leave it up to the
schools to teach sex to kids,Copy !req
526. you don't know who
they're learning it from.Copy !req
527. It could be someone
who doesn't know,Copy !req
528. someone who has
a bad opinion of it,Copy !req
529. or even a complete pervert.Copy !req
530. What? Why did you
pan to me just now?Copy !req
531. What the hell's that
supposed to mean?Copy !req
532. He's right,
I never knewCopy !req
533. how special and personal sex was
until just recently.Copy !req
534. This whole mess startedCopy !req
535. because we couldn't talk
to our boy ourselves.Copy !req
536. It's easier to just leave it
up to the school,Copy !req
537. but it's just not
a school subject.Copy !req
538. Then it's decided; no more
condom classes in grade school.Copy !req
539. Hooray!Copy !req
540. But, Chef, when is the right
age for us to start having sex?Copy !req
541. It's very simple,
children.Copy !req
542. The right time to start
having sex is...Copy !req
543. 17.Copy !req
544. 17?
17.Copy !req
545. So you mean 17,
as long as you're in love?Copy !req
546. Nope, just 17.Copy !req
547. But what if
you're not ready at 17?Copy !req
548. 17, you're ready.Copy !req
549. Well, I guess we got
a while to waitCopy !req
550. before we worry about sex
and diseases, huh, Wendy?Copy !req
551. Yeah, thank God.Copy !req
552. Well, I guess now that
that's out of the way,Copy !req
553. we can get on
with our lives.Copy !req
554. Come here, boy.Copy !req
555. That's it, Red Rocket,
Red Rocket, come on, yeah.Copy !req
556. Come on,
Red Rocket, dog.Copy !req
557. Red Rocket now.Copy !req
558. Okay, children, so what other
sexual positionsCopy !req
559. did we talk about?Copy !req
560. Yeah, the Wrap-around Butt Grab.
Sure, can't forget that.Copy !req
561. Uh-huh, Reverse Cowgirl.
Good, Kevin.Copy !req
562. Hot Lunch?
Yeah, she likes that.Copy !req
563. Donkey Punch, uh-huh.Copy !req
564. Glass Bottom Boat.
Good one, yes.Copy !req
565. Fish Eye,
good, Jenny.Copy !req
566. Chili Dog, mm-hmm.Copy !req