1. What the hell you
so happy about, fat ass?Copy !req
2. Oh, nothing,
no big deal, really.Copy !req
3. What's no big deal?Copy !req
4. Well, guys, it seems
that I am the first one of usCopy !req
5. to reach manhood
after all.Copy !req
6. What the hell
are you talking about?Copy !req
7. Well, because
unlike you guys,Copy !req
8. I just got
my first pubes.Copy !req
9. You got pubes?
- What's pubes?Copy !req
10. Pubic hair. He's saying
he got his first pubic hair.Copy !req
11. Oh.
No, you didn't!Copy !req
12. Oh, yes, I did.
I'm becoming a man.Copy !req
13. He's lying.Copy !req
14. You wanna see 'em?
- Hell, no!Copy !req
15. Here, check 'em out.Copy !req
16. We don't wanna
see them, Cartman!Copy !req
17. There, see?Copy !req
18. How do you like
them apples?Copy !req
19. Ha!Copy !req
20. What are those?
- My pubes.Copy !req
21. What?
- I got 'em from Scott Tenorman.Copy !req
22. Scott Tenorman—
the ninth grader?Copy !req
23. Yep, he let me have 'em
for just 10 bucks.Copy !req
24. Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
25. Cartman, you are so goddamn
stupid, it's unbelievable.Copy !req
26. Ah-ha,
don't be jealous, guys.Copy !req
27. This doesn't mean
we can't still hang out.Copy !req
28. It just means
that I matured faster than you.Copy !req
29. You'll get your pubes,
guys, someday.Copy !req
30. Cartman, you don't buy pubes,
you grow them yourself.Copy !req
31. Wh-what?Copy !req
32. When you get
old enough,Copy !req
33. you grow your own pubic hair
that's attached to you,Copy !req
34. you fucking dumb-ass!Copy !req
35. Nuh-uh.
- Yeah-huh.Copy !req
36. But then why would
Scott TenormanCopy !req
37. sell me his pubes for $10?Copy !req
38. Because, retard,
you're dumb enoughCopy !req
39. to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes
for $10.Copy !req
40. You're telling me these pubes
are worth nothing?Copy !req
41. Yeah.Copy !req
42. I'm gonna get
that son of a bitch.Copy !req
43. And so I told him,
I said,Copy !req
44. "Here, I'll sell you my pubes
for only 10 bucks."Copy !req
45. And the stupid asshole
buys them.Copy !req
46. Speak of the devil.
What do you want?Copy !req
47. Uh, yes, I've come
to return these pubesCopy !req
48. that I purchased, please.Copy !req
49. Uh-uh,
I don't take returns.Copy !req
50. Right, but you see,Copy !req
51. I didn't realize when I bought
these pubes from youCopy !req
52. that you were
full of shit,Copy !req
53. so you can either
give me back my $10,Copy !req
54. or I can go
tell my mom on you.Copy !req
55. You would actually
tell your momCopy !req
56. that you were stupid enough
to pay for my pubes?Copy !req
57. Uh-uh,
I don't think so.Copy !req
58. Just give me back
my money.Copy !req
59. Buyer beware, dude.Copy !req
60. Give me my $10, Scott.Copy !req
61. Hey, I said no.Copy !req
62. Now, get your fat little butt
out of hereCopy !req
63. before I kick
your head in.Copy !req
64. Hello, sir, my name
is Kris Kristofferson.Copy !req
65. I'm with the IRS.Copy !req
66. I'm here to collect $10
that you owe in back taxes.Copy !req
67. You're not
from the IRS.Copy !req
68. You glued my pubes
onto your face.Copy !req
69. Tax evasion
is a very serious offense, sir.Copy !req
70. I suggest that you—
all right, all right.Copy !req
71. I'll trade you my pubes back
for the money.Copy !req
72. You will?
Oh, cool!Copy !req
73. How much did I charge?
Oh, yeah, $10.Copy !req
74. You got change
for a $20?Copy !req
75. Oh, uh...Copy !req
76. I only got $6.12.Copy !req
77. Oh, well, that's okay.Copy !req
78. Here, just give me
the $6.Copy !req
79. And then I'll give you the $20.
- Okay.Copy !req
80. Now, give me the pubes,
and I'll give you back $2.Copy !req
81. - Right.
Now, give me the 12ȼ.Copy !req
82. And I'll give you the rest
of your change back.Copy !req
83. Cool.Copy !req
84. And then give me the $20,
and I'll give you the pubes.Copy !req
85. Sweet!Copy !req
86. Uh—
ah, God damn it!Copy !req
87. That asshole.Copy !req
88. That big, smelly,
ass-sniffing asshole.Copy !req
89. I'm gonna get him!Copy !req
90. Cartman, can I give you
some advice?Copy !req
91. What?
- Just let it go, dude.Copy !req
92. You're only out $16.12.
Count your losses and move on.Copy !req
93. He's smarter than you.Copy !req
94. He is not
smarter than me!Copy !req
95. He just charmed me,
that's all.Copy !req
96. He's a charmer,
that Scott Tenorman,Copy !req
97. but I'll get him someday.Copy !req
98. One, please.
- One, please.Copy !req
99. One, please.Copy !req
100. One, please.Copy !req
101. That'll be $6.Copy !req
102. Okay, and how much
is that in pubes?Copy !req
103. We don't take pubes.Copy !req
104. Listen, my money is as good
as anybody's.Copy !req
105. Don't you... discriminate
against my peopleCopy !req
106. by not accepting these pubes.Copy !req
107. We don't take pubes,
end of story!Copy !req
108. Racist!Copy !req
109. Scott, Scott!Copy !req
110. Courtney Love
is in South Park!Copy !req
111. She's all drunk
and spreading her legsCopy !req
112. and showing her "poonaner"
to everybody!Copy !req
113. You gotta go check it out!
I'll watch your house for you.Copy !req
114. Okay, I'll buy the pubes back.
Here.Copy !req
115. What?
$16, take it.Copy !req
116. I'll even throw in
an extra five.Copy !req
117. Here.
Give me back my pubes.Copy !req
118. Why do you want them back
so much?Copy !req
119. No reason.
- I don't believe you.Copy !req
120. All right, all right.Copy !req
121. The pube fair
in Fort Collins.Copy !req
122. Pube fair?Copy !req
123. They're paying five bucks
a hair for pubes.Copy !req
124. If I leave now,
I can catch the last bus.Copy !req
125. Five bucks a hair?Copy !req
126. That's, like,
a million dollars!Copy !req
127. Here, take your money.Copy !req
128. Ha, ha,
I don't think so, Scott.Copy !req
129. I'm going
to Fort Collins myself.Copy !req
130. Oh, you can't do this to me.
No!Copy !req
131. Ha, ha,
sure right you are, Scott.Copy !req
132. Have you no heart?Copy !req
133. Ha, ha,
what a stupid asshole!Copy !req
134. Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
135. Ha, ha, hoo!
$1 million!Copy !req
136. Whoo! Ah!Copy !req
137. Ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
138. Heh.Copy !req
139. Uh, excuse me, sir.
- Yes?Copy !req
140. Can you tell me
where the pube fair is?Copy !req
141. The pube fair?Copy !req
142. Yeah, I've got
some pubes to sell.Copy !req
143. There's no such thing,
you little smart-ass.Copy !req
144. No—
no such thing?Copy !req
145. Hey, you wouldn't happen
to be Eric Cart-man, would you?Copy !req
146. I'm Eric Cartman.Copy !req
147. Oh, I think
this is for you.Copy !req
148. Ahhhh!Copy !req
149. 106 miles, Scott.Copy !req
150. I had to ride 106 miles
in the back of a pickup truckCopy !req
151. to get back here.Copy !req
152. You really went?
What a 'tard.Copy !req
153. All right, Scott, you win.
I give up.Copy !req
154. You do?Copy !req
155. Wow, you're not
as stupid as I thought.Copy !req
156. Yeah, I'll see you around.Copy !req
157. Sure is too bad
about my grandma, though.Copy !req
158. Your grandma?
- Huh?Copy !req
159. Oh, it's not really
your concern.Copy !req
160. It's just that, well,
my grandma is in the hospital.Copy !req
161. She's very sick.Copy !req
162. Doctors say unless I can come up
with $16 for her operation,Copy !req
163. they're gonna
put her down.Copy !req
164. Oh, jeez,
I didn't realize that.Copy !req
165. Yeah, poor grandma.Copy !req
166. Hey, kid,
hold on a second.Copy !req
167. I'll get your money.Copy !req
168. Heh, heh, heh.Copy !req
169. He's such a douche.Copy !req
170. here you go.Copy !req
171. Oh, wow,
thanks a lot, Scott.Copy !req
172. But just one thing
before I give it to you.Copy !req
173. What?Copy !req
174. I just—well,
I want to you beg for it.Copy !req
175. Huh?Copy !req
176. Just get down on your knees
and beg me for the money.Copy !req
177. Why?Copy !req
178. Do you want your grandma
to live or not?Copy !req
179. Please, Scott,
give me my money.Copy !req
180. No, no,
get down on your knees.Copy !req
181. Lower your head...Copy !req
182. And say, "I beg you
to give me back my money."Copy !req
183. I beg you
to give me back my money.Copy !req
184. Now say,
"I'm a little piggy."Copy !req
185. What?
- Say it.Copy !req
186. I'm a little piggy.Copy !req
187. "Here's my snout."
- Here's my snout.Copy !req
188. "Oink, oink, oink."
oink, oink, oink.Copy !req
189. Now, dance, little piggy.
Dance and oink for me.Copy !req
190. All right,
now, give me back my money!Copy !req
191. You mean this?Copy !req
192. You really care that much
about 16 measly dollars?Copy !req
193. I mean, what can you buy
with $16?Copy !req
194. My parents give me
a $50-a-week allowance.Copy !req
195. This pittance
means nothing to me.Copy !req
196. Watch.Copy !req
197. Wh-what are you doing?Copy !req
198. No, no.
Why?Copy !req
199. Now you can't bug me
for your dumb money.Copy !req
200. Concerned citizens,
I thank you for coming.Copy !req
201. I know that you're all
deeply troubledCopy !req
202. and want to find
a quick and painful wayCopy !req
203. to get rid of Scott Tenorman
once and for all.Copy !req
204. Yes, Clyde?
- Who's Scott Tenorman?Copy !req
205. Yeah.Copy !req
206. Scott Tenorman
is an eighth graderCopy !req
207. who sold Cartman
his pubes for $10,Copy !req
208. and now Cartman's
all pissed off.Copy !req
209. $16.12.Copy !req
210. He is a disease.Copy !req
211. He is a cold,
calculating man,Copy !req
212. and I will have revenge!Copy !req
213. What are you
gonna do?Copy !req
214. Did you guys see
that movie Hannibal,Copy !req
215. where the deformed guy
trained giant pigsCopy !req
216. to eat his enemy alive?Copy !req
217. Well, if we find a pony,
we can train it,Copy !req
218. train it to bite off
Scott Tenorman's wiener.Copy !req
219. It will be painful
and humiliating.Copy !req
220. Everyone
will see it happen.Copy !req
221. And then Scott Tenorman
will forever be knownCopy !req
222. as the kid who had his wiener
bitten off by a pony!Copy !req
223. Ha, ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
224. What's in it for us?
- What?Copy !req
225. Yeah, why should
we all careCopy !req
226. about getting Scott Tenorman
back for you?Copy !req
227. Oh, right.
Why should we care?Copy !req
228. Yes, why should we care?
Indeed.Copy !req
229. Let's just let Scott Tenorman
walk away with my $16.12.Copy !req
230. Hell, let's let all
the Scott Tenormans of the worldCopy !req
231. take what's ours
and laugh in our faces.Copy !req
232. Why stand up for yourself
when you can justCopy !req
233. walk out of here right now
and sayCopy !req
234. it's not your problem?Copy !req
235. But years from now,
when you're oldCopy !req
236. and have children
of your own,Copy !req
237. what would you give to come back
and fight this one day,Copy !req
238. this one day, where you could
have made a difference,Copy !req
239. where you could've
told Scott Tenorman,Copy !req
240. "you may take our pride,Copy !req
241. but you'll never take
my goddamn $16.12?"Copy !req
242. Now, who's with me?Copy !req
243. Timmy!Copy !req
244. Christ.Copy !req
245. All right, I guess
it's just you and me, Timmy.Copy !req
246. Oh, no, not Timmy.Copy !req
247. There we go.Copy !req
248. Come and get it!Copy !req
249. Come on, pony,
bite the wiener.Copy !req
250. Bite it.Copy !req
251. Come on, good pony.Copy !req
252. That's it.Copy !req
253. Now, bite it off!Copy !req
254. Bite off the wiener.
Good pony!Copy !req
255. Oh, no, pony,
he'll like that.Copy !req
256. Eric, are you training
that pony to please you?Copy !req
257. No, I'm trying to teach it
how to bite someone's penis off.Copy !req
258. Oh.Copy !req
259. Well, does Mr. Jenkins know
you're using his pony?Copy !req
260. He shoots trespassers
on sight, you know.Copy !req
261. He said it was okay.Copy !req
262. All right, then.
Wait.Copy !req
263. What the hell are you
training Jenkins' ponyCopy !req
264. to bite off
someone's penis?Copy !req
265. Because...
of Scott Tenorman.Copy !req
266. I hate him, and I want
to make him suffer.Copy !req
267. Well, son, I think you've got
a pretty stupid plan there.Copy !req
268. Not like that, pony!Copy !req
269. Look, if you wanna get
revenge on somebody,Copy !req
270. you've gotta think
like a hunter.Copy !req
271. What do you mean?Copy !req
272. Step one:
find someone's weakness.Copy !req
273. Step two:
exploit that weakness.Copy !req
274. How do I do that?Copy !req
275. What do you see?Copy !req
276. I see Scott Tenorman,Copy !req
277. with his ginger red hair
and his stupid freckles.Copy !req
278. And God damn it!
I hate him! I hate him!Copy !req
279. No, young hunter.
I mean, what do you see?Copy !req
280. You must learn all you can
about your kill.Copy !req
281. Right, right.Copy !req
282. Let's see.Copy !req
283. There's posters,
Radiohead posters.Copy !req
284. And he's reading a magazine
about Radiohead.Copy !req
285. What's a Radiohead?Copy !req
286. You know, that band
that sings that song.Copy !req
287. Oh, Jesus,
don't start singing, Ned.Copy !req
288. So the subject
is a big Radiohead fan, huh?Copy !req
289. Maybe I should come up...Copy !req
290. with a lit'l schemeCopy !req
291. that involves them.Copy !req
292. Nice thinking,
young hunter.Copy !req
293. Whoa.
- What?Copy !req
294. I'm looking
in Scott's parents' room.Copy !req
295. Scott's mom's
about to take off her bra.Copy !req
296. What?
Give me those!Copy !req
297. Holy crow,
he's right, Ned!Copy !req
298. Mrs. Tenorman's
lettin' the twins out.Copy !req
299. Let me see.Copy !req
300. Radiohead.
Yes, of course.Copy !req
301. Dear God, they're even bigger
than I ever imagined!Copy !req
302. Let me see.
Let me see.Copy !req
303. Here you go.
- Wow, those were great.Copy !req
304. Maybe I should go
grab some beers, Ned.Copy !req
305. Ned, what—
are you jackin' it?Copy !req
306. Kinda.
- Well, stop it!Copy !req
307. Hey, what the hell
are you doing out there?Copy !req
308. Oh, crap!
- Who's out there?Copy !req
309. Ned, for Christ's sake,
stop jackin' it.Copy !req
310. I can't.Copy !req
311. Don't think
I don't see you!Copy !req
312. I know who you are,
and I'm calling the police!Copy !req
313. Whoa!
Whoops!Copy !req
314. I gotta get
out of here!Copy !req
315. Oh, hey, Scott.
How's it going?Copy !req
316. I was just wondering,Copy !req
317. do you like the band, uh,
Radiohead at all?Copy !req
318. Uh-huh.
Oh, really?Copy !req
319. Oh, 'cause they're doing
a big interview on MTV,Copy !req
320. and they're playing it tonight
on a big screen downtown.Copy !req
321. Everyone's gonna be there.Copy !req
322. Oh, cool.
Thanks for telling me.Copy !req
323. You're welcome, Scott.Copy !req
324. Okay, well, looks like
everyone is here.Copy !req
325. Let's play the video,
shall we?Copy !req
326. Welcome back to MTV.Copy !req
327. We're here with the members
from Radiohead,Copy !req
328. probably the hottest band
in the world right now.Copy !req
329. Guys, when is your next
album coming out?Copy !req
330. That's
an interesting question, Kurt.Copy !req
331. But first
I'd just like to sayCopy !req
332. that I really hate this kid
named Scott Tenorman.Copy !req
333. He's stupid.Copy !req
334. Yeah, I hate
Scott Tenorman too.Copy !req
335. I think all the guys
in the band hate him,Copy !req
336. Right, guys?Copy !req
337. Oh, Jesus,
did you hear that, Scott?Copy !req
338. And will there be
a new tour?Copy !req
339. Well, we would tour,Copy !req
340. but we just hate
that Scott Tenorman kid so muchCopy !req
341. that we don't want to.Copy !req
342. Yeah, Scott Tenorman
is totally not cool.Copy !req
343. He's not cool.Copy !req
344. Wow, that really sucks
for you, Scott.Copy !req
345. Scott?Copy !req
346. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Did you see that?Copy !req
347. Scott must've ran home
so embarrassed.Copy !req
348. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
And you know what?Copy !req
349. That wasn't really
Radiohead talking.Copy !req
350. I just dubbed
their voices over.Copy !req
351. Ha, ha, ha!
What a retard!Copy !req
352. And everyone saw it!Copy !req
353. Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,Copy !req
354. it's time
for the amazing pube boy!Copy !req
355. Oh, my God,
he killed Kenny.Copy !req
356. That does it.Copy !req
357. I'm going to get Scott Tenorman
once and for all!Copy !req
358. You think you're so cool,
Scott Tenorman.Copy !req
359. We'll see how cool you feel
after this.Copy !req
360. Yes, yes.Copy !req
361. Yes!Copy !req
362. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.Copy !req
363. Yes, it is the most genius
plan ever.Copy !req
364. Scott Tenorman is going to wish
he never met me!Copy !req
365. Okay, Cartman,
what do you want?Copy !req
366. Stan, Kyle,
thanks for coming.Copy !req
367. I've got it all figured out.
- Got what all figured out?Copy !req
368. How to get
Scott Tenorman back.Copy !req
369. Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
370. I've just finished planning
a brilliant lit'l schemeCopy !req
371. that should put Scott
in his place for good.Copy !req
372. And if you help me,
I'll give each of you $2.Copy !req
373. Okay,
so what's the plan?Copy !req
374. It's the brilliant combination
of my last two plans.Copy !req
375. Scott Tenorman's favorite band
is Radiohead, right?Copy !req
376. Yeah?Copy !req
377. So I realized,
what if we got RadioheadCopy !req
378. to come here
to South Park, right?Copy !req
379. Then they could meet
Scott Tenorman and...Copy !req
380. See him get his wiener
bitten off by a pony!Copy !req
381. What?
- Don't you see?Copy !req
382. If I can get this pony
to bite off Scott's wienerCopy !req
383. in front of Radiohead,
then Scott would cry.Copy !req
384. And if Scott cries,
then Radiohead will thinkCopy !req
385. Scott Tenorman
is totally not cool!Copy !req
386. And that would make
Scott Tenorman want to die.Copy !req
387. Ha, ha, ha!Copy !req
388. Okay, I'll keep working
on the pony.Copy !req
389. You guys go get Radiohead
to play here.Copy !req
390. Ready? Break!Copy !req
391. You're such a dumb-ass,
Cartman.Copy !req
392. Fine, I'll do it myself!
You guys just watch!Copy !req
393. Ready, pony?
Bite it!Copy !req
394. Yes!Copy !req
395. Thom, will you stop
reading fan mail?Copy !req
396. We have work to do.Copy !req
397. Just a second, fellas.
Listen to this.Copy !req
398. "Dear Radiohead,
my name is Eric Cartman.Copy !req
399. "I'm a young,
supple eight-year-old boyCopy !req
400. "from South Park, Colorado.Copy !req
401. "I'm writing to you
because of a kid I knowCopy !req
402. "named Scott Tenorman.Copy !req
403. "Scott is 15,
and I'm afraid he has cancerCopy !req
404. "in his ass.Copy !req
405. "Radiohead is his favorite band,
and it would make his short lifeCopy !req
406. "if you could find it
in your heartsCopy !req
407. "to visit him before he dies
alone, scared.Copy !req
408. "Won't you please
consider it?Copy !req
409. I don't think he'll make it
past next Tuesday around 5:00."Copy !req
410. Wow, we have to go.Copy !req
411. To Colorado?
But we've got an album to mix.Copy !req
412. Didn't you hear
the letter?Copy !req
413. This poor kid has cancer!
In his ass!Copy !req
414. Hello?Copy !req
415. Scott Tenorman?
- What do you want?Copy !req
416. We just wanna warn you,
Eric Cartman, the fourth grader,Copy !req
417. is going to try
to trick you somehowCopy !req
418. into getting
your wiener bitten offCopy !req
419. by a pony that lives
at Jenkins' ranch.Copy !req
420. How do you know?
- 'Cause we're his friends.Copy !req
421. Then why are you
telling me?Copy !req
422. 'Cause we hate him.
- Oh.Copy !req
423. Well, we just thought
we'd let you know.Copy !req
424. See ya.
- See ya.Copy !req
425. Hello, Scott.
- Hey.Copy !req
426. I was just stopping byCopy !req
427. to invite you
to my "Chili con Carnival."Copy !req
428. It's a chili cook-off
with rides.Copy !req
429. Everyone's coming,Copy !req
430. and I wanted to drop by
your invitation personally.Copy !req
431. Ooh, a Chili Carnival,
huh?Copy !req
432. That sounds great.Copy !req
433. Yeah, there's even
gonna be a big surprise,Copy !req
434. so you won't wanna
miss it, Scott.Copy !req
435. Oh, and here.Copy !req
436. Here's a coupon good
for one free pony ride.Copy !req
437. Wow, a pony ride.
Neat.Copy !req
438. Oh, it will be
very neat, Scott.Copy !req
439. Gosh.
Chili, rides, and ponies.Copy !req
440. What more could I want?Copy !req
441. A little
penis-biting, perhaps.Copy !req
442. What?
- Nothing, nothing.Copy !req
443. So you'll come for sure,
then, Scott?Copy !req
444. How could I turn it down?Copy !req
445. Sweet, killer.
Bye, Scott.Copy !req
446. Oh, you are good, Eric.
You are very, very good.Copy !req
447. Mom, Dad, that was
my good friend Eric at the door.Copy !req
448. He told me that there's
a starving ponyCopy !req
449. at Jenkins' ranch
that's been abandoned.Copy !req
450. Oh, dear.Copy !req
451. Yeah, I feel really bad,Copy !req
452. But I don't know
how I can help itCopy !req
453. because I have a lot
of homework to do.Copy !req
454. Well, don't you
worry, Scott.Copy !req
455. Your mom and I
can go get the ponyCopy !req
456. and have it taken
to an animal shelter.Copy !req
457. We sure can.Copy !req
458. Wow, would you really?Copy !req
459. I feel
so much better now.Copy !req
460. Oh, Scott, you're such
a loving, caring boy.Copy !req
461. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
462. I'm proud of you too, Mom.Copy !req
463. Let's go, hon.
- Let's.Copy !req
464. What are you doing, Scott?Copy !req
465. What's it look like?
I'm making chili.Copy !req
466. Did you bring
the goods?Copy !req
467. We got everyone we could find
to chip in.Copy !req
468. There's pubes from just about
every kid in town in here.Copy !req
469. Awesome.
- Oh, dude!Copy !req
470. The little fat kid thinks
he's gonna get revenge tomorrow.Copy !req
471. We'll see how he likes it
when I tell himCopy !req
472. he just ate the pubes
of every kid in town.Copy !req
473. Yeah!Copy !req
474. Oh, hello, guys.Copy !req
475. Thanks for coming
to my Chili con Carnival.Copy !req
476. This is the dumbest thing
you've ever done, Cartman.Copy !req
477. Oh, it won't be so dumb
when Scott Tenorman arrives.Copy !req
478. I suggest you stay
to see the fireworks.Copy !req
479. Oh, we will.Copy !req
480. Trust us,
we wouldn't miss this.Copy !req
481. What's so funny?
- Oh, nothing.Copy !req
482. It's just coolCopy !req
483. how you're gonna get
Scott Tenorman back.Copy !req
484. Is Radiohead here yet?
- Not yet, but they will be.Copy !req
485. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
486. Hello, Eric.
- Hey, Chef.Copy !req
487. I made some chili
to enter into the contest.Copy !req
488. What contest?Copy !req
489. This is a chili cook-off,
ain't it?Copy !req
490. Huh?
Oh, yeah, I guess it is.Copy !req
491. Here, just put it
over here.Copy !req
492. It's my special recipe.Copy !req
493. Scott Tenorman!Copy !req
494. How are you, Scott?
Thanks so much for coming.Copy !req
495. Oh, I wouldn't
miss this for anything.Copy !req
496. Likewise.Copy !req
497. Well, come on.
You've got to see the pony.Copy !req
498. Just a second.Copy !req
499. Don't you wanna taste
my chili first?Copy !req
500. Well, yeah, but there's
a special guest coming,Copy !req
501. and I want you to be near
the pony when they arrive.Copy !req
502. Well, I don't want it
to get cold.Copy !req
503. I think I can win
first prize.Copy !req
504. All right, Scott, let's go
over to the judging table,Copy !req
505. and we'll try
the chili first.Copy !req
506. God damn it.Copy !req
507. All right, I guess we should
taste each other's chili, huh?Copy !req
508. This chili
looks pretty good.Copy !req
509. Here's mine.Copy !req
510. Mmm, I don't know.
Your chili is good, Cartman.Copy !req
511. But I think mine is better.
Try it.Copy !req
512. All right.Copy !req
513. Hey, this is great!Copy !req
514. It's a special recipe.Copy !req
515. God, this is
really good, Scott.Copy !req
516. I'm glad you like it
so much,Copy !req
517. because now that
you're almost finished,Copy !req
518. I have something
to tell you.Copy !req
519. What?Copy !req
520. You mean about how you
put pubes in your chili?Copy !req
521. What?Copy !req
522. Yes, I'm afraid
this isn't your chili, Scott.Copy !req
523. I switched it
with Chef's.Copy !req
524. It's delicious, Chef.
I hadn't planned on that.Copy !req
525. What I did plan on,
however,Copy !req
526. was that my friends
Stan and Kyle would betray meCopy !req
527. and warn you that the Chili
con Carnival was a trap.Copy !req
528. I assumed
that they would tell youCopy !req
529. that I had trained Jenkins'
pony to bite off your wiener.Copy !req
530. What they didn't tell you was
that Jenkins is a crazy redneckCopy !req
531. who shoots trespassers
on sight.Copy !req
532. Knowing that you would goCopy !req
533. and try to do something
to the pony,Copy !req
534. I warned Mr. Jenkins
that violent pony killersCopy !req
535. were in the area.Copy !req
536. I also knew that you
wouldn't go yourselfCopy !req
537. for fear of having
your wiener bitten off.Copy !req
538. You would most likely
send your parents.Copy !req
539. And I'm afraid
that when Mr. JenkinsCopy !req
540. spotted them on his property,Copy !req
541. he shot and killed
both your parents.Copy !req
542. Well, they was trespassin',
and I was protectin' myself.Copy !req
543. I have my rights.Copy !req
544. My... mom and dad
are dead?Copy !req
545. I came just in time
to see Mr. JenkinsCopy !req
546. giving his report
to Officer BarbradyCopy !req
547. and, of course,
to steal the bodies.Copy !req
548. After a night with the hacksaw,
I was all readyCopy !req
549. to put on
my Chili Con CarnivalCopy !req
550. so that I could tell you
personallyCopy !req
551. about your parents' demiseCopy !req
552. and, of course,
feed you your chili.Copy !req
553. Do you like it?
Do you like it, Scott?Copy !req
554. I call it
"Mr. And Mrs. Tenorman chili."Copy !req
555. Oh my God!Copy !req
556. Oh my God!Copy !req
557. Jesus Christ, dude!Copy !req
558. My mom and dad
are dead!Copy !req
559. No, no!Copy !req
560. Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
561. Who are you?Copy !req
562. We're that band,
Radiohead.Copy !req
563. Jeez, what a little crybaby.Copy !req
564. You gonna cry all day,
crybaby?Copy !req
565. You know,
everyone has problems.Copy !req
566. It doesn't mean you have to be
a little crybaby about it.Copy !req
567. Come on, guys,
let's go.Copy !req
568. This kid
is totally not cool.Copy !req
569. Yeah, that's the most
uncool kid I've ever met.Copy !req
570. Little crybaby.Copy !req
571. No, wait!Copy !req
572. Wait!Copy !req
573. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
574. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
575. Oh, let me taste
your tears, Scott.Copy !req
576. Mmm, your tears
are so yummy and sweet.Copy !req
577. Dude, I think
it might be best for usCopy !req
578. to never piss
Cartman off again.Copy !req
579. Good call.Copy !req
580. Oh, the tears
of unfathomable sadness.Copy !req
581. Mmm, yummy.
Yummy, you guys.Copy !req
582. Yibbidy-bip—
that's all, folks!Copy !req