1. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
2. Children — Children, we have
a very special announcement.Copy !req
3. Your classmate Token
has just returnedCopy !req
4. from winning the Colorado
Child Star ContestCopy !req
5. with his incredible singing.Copy !req
6. Well, let's give him a hand!Copy !req
7. Token sings?Copy !req
8. Of course he sings.
He's black.Copy !req
9. Token is going to sing
in front of a huge audienceCopy !req
10. at the Miss Colorado pageant
in Denver!Copy !req
11. And for doing it,
he's gonna be paid $200!Copy !req
12. Whoa!Copy !req
13. $200?Copy !req
14. Now, of course, as a woman,Copy !req
15. I'm a bit against
those chauvinistic pageants,Copy !req
16. but I hope that you children
take a moment todayCopy !req
17. to congratulate Token
for being so special.Copy !req
18. Wow, $200.
Can you imagine?Copy !req
19. How come we never get
opportunities like that?Copy !req
20. You want to know what it is,
guys?Copy !req
21. We're not talented?Copy !req
22. That's right.
We're not talented.Copy !req
23. See, we're not
the artistic side.Copy !req
24. We're the thinking side.Copy !req
25. Yeah.
We're too smart to be talented.Copy !req
26. Wait. You guys.
I just had an amazing idea.Copy !req
27. Token is going right to the top,
right?Copy !req
28. - He's gonna be a huge star.
- Probably.Copy !req
29. So why shouldn't we get
some of that money?Copy !req
30. We can be Token's agents.Copy !req
31. That way we get 10%
of whatever he makes.Copy !req
32. Hey, yeah.Copy !req
33. We deserve that money
just as much as he does.Copy !req
34. We just need a really kick-ass
office and some nice suits.Copy !req
35. A-And a fountain in our lobby.Copy !req
36. All top agencies have fountains
in their lobbies.Copy !req
37. We got to make Token
think he needs us,Copy !req
38. when actually
he doesn't need us at all.Copy !req
39. - He's looking at the sign!
- Perfect.Copy !req
40. You guys get back to the office.
I'll bring Token there.Copy !req
41. All right.Copy !req
42. Wait, wait. You guys.
This is very important.Copy !req
43. When I bring Token
back the office,Copy !req
44. have Kenny hide in another room
and call the phone on my desk.Copy !req
45. Why?Copy !req
46. I'll answer it
and pretend I'm talkingCopy !req
47. to somebody super famous
and important.Copy !req
48. When Token sees that,
maybe he'll think we're legit.Copy !req
49. - That's genius.
- Okay. Go! Go! Here he comes.Copy !req
50. Yeah, well, then tell him
we're just not interested.Copy !req
51. Oh, hey, Token!Copy !req
52. Buddy, my man!
What is up?Copy !req
53. Nothin'.Copy !req
54. I heard you're doing some thing
down in Denver tomorrow night.Copy !req
55. Yeah.Copy !req
56. I don't know
if I ever told you this before,Copy !req
57. but I'm actually an agentCopy !req
58. over at the Super Awesome
Talent Agency.Copy !req
59. You may have seen
our ads around town.Copy !req
60. Anyway, why don't you come
down to the office, Token?Copy !req
61. Maybe I can convince the company
to represent you.Copy !req
62. I'm supposed to be home
by 3:30.Copy !req
63. This will only take a second.Copy !req
64. Welcome to our offices, Token.Copy !req
65. As you can see, we are
quite a successful company.Copy !req
66. Did you notice the fountain?
Pretty nice, hmm?Copy !req
67. Come right over this way,
Token.Copy !req
68. Guys, you remember Token.Copy !req
69. He's thinking about becoming
a client.Copy !req
70. Oh, Token. Right. Yeah.
You're making a smart move, man.Copy !req
71. Now, Token, I know what
you're saying to yourself.Copy !req
72. You're saying,Copy !req
73. "Hey, why do I need an agency?Copy !req
74. Why should I give them 10%?"Copy !req
75. Right?Copy !req
76. Yeah.Copy !req
77. Token, the truth is
that without representation,Copy !req
78. you're in danger
of being taken advantage of.Copy !req
79. Excuse me just a second, Token.Copy !req
80. Super Awesome Talent Agency.Copy !req
81. Oh, yes!
Hello!Copy !req
82. How are you, Abraham Lincoln?Copy !req
83. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
84. No, I'm happy you called,
Abraham Lincoln.Copy !req
85. I'm just sort of in the middle
of something right now.Copy !req
86. Can I talk to you?Copy !req
87. Uh, I'll call you back, Abe.Copy !req
88. What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
89. I'm making it look like
important people call us.Copy !req
90. Abraham Lincoln has been dead
for 200 years.Copy !req
91. Well, Token doesn't know that.Copy !req
92. - Yes, he does!
- How?Copy !req
93. Token actually pays attention
in school, unlike you, fat-ass!Copy !req
94. Jew!Copy !req
95. You guys, we're gonna lose
our client.Copy !req
96. Yes, yes. I think
that's a good idea, guys.Copy !req
97. Let's give Michael Jordan a call
about that.Copy !req
98. Uh, now, where were we?Copy !req
99. We were at why
I should give you 10%.Copy !req
100. Look, Token,
here's the bottom line.Copy !req
101. You're gonna start having
a lot of offers coming at youCopy !req
102. from all directions.Copy !req
103. A media storm
is about to hit you.Copy !req
104. And you can't handle it
on your own. Nobody can.Copy !req
105. Eminem, Justin Timberlake,
Hootie — They all have agents.Copy !req
106. You need somebody to manage
it all for you.Copy !req
107. This thing in Denver
is just the crust, Token.Copy !req
108. With our support,
you can have the whole pie.Copy !req
109. Well, I guess that makes sense.
All right.Copy !req
110. Uh, if we could just get you
to sign right here?Copy !req
111. Welcome to the team, Token.Copy !req
112. Oh, Kenny,
Token just signed with us.Copy !req
113. Mrph rm!Copy !req
114. From now on we are
an entertainment team, Token.Copy !req
115. You just do all the singing,
all the performing,Copy !req
116. and all the entertaining
and leave the rest to us.Copy !req
117. And there are your finalists,Copy !req
118. the 16 most beautiful women
in Colorado.Copy !req
119. Here to sing
for our 16 lucky finalists,Copy !req
120. the winner of the Colorado
Child Star Contest —Copy !req
121. Token Black.Copy !req
122. We should get him to sing
at Tommy's bar mitzvah.Copy !req
123. Oh, you're interested
in hiring our client?Copy !req
124. We represent Token.Copy !req
125. Give us a call.
We'll work out a deal.Copy !req
126. Just between us girls,Copy !req
127. nothing gets my vag wetter
than a black man singing.Copy !req
128. Mr. Garrison!
For the love of God.Copy !req
129. - You were awesome, Token!
- We knew you could do it!Copy !req
130. $200, Token.
That's great!Copy !req
131. And 10% of $200 is...Copy !req
132. $20.Copy !req
133. Here you go.Copy !req
134. - Mrph rm!
- Sweet!Copy !req
135. This is just the beginning.Copy !req
136. I bet we start to see
all kinds of offersCopy !req
137. coming in for Token now.Copy !req
138. Hey, there, my man.
That was a great performance.Copy !req
139. Thanks.Copy !req
140. Don Hizeman, Creative Arts
Agency in Los Angeles.Copy !req
141. I think you've got
real promise.Copy !req
142. How would you like to sign
with C.A.A.?Copy !req
143. Are you serious?Copy !req
144. Uh, excuse me. Token
already has representation.Copy !req
145. You may have heard of
Super Awesome Talent Agency.Copy !req
146. Mm, no.Copy !req
147. Uh, look, Token,
there's some shows in L.A.Copy !req
148. we want to book you on
right away.Copy !req
149. If you come out to my limo,
we can talk everything through.Copy !req
150. Oh, my God.
Okay!Copy !req
151. Token, you signed with us!Copy !req
152. Oh, come on, guys.Copy !req
153. You have to see what a huge
opportunity this is for me.Copy !req
154. They're not so great!Copy !req
155. They probably don't have
a fountain in their lobby.Copy !req
156. Actually, our fountain
is two stories tall.Copy !req
157. Ooh.Copy !req
158. Come on, Token!
We have a lot to talk about.Copy !req
159. Mister, you can't
do this to us.Copy !req
160. Sorry, kids.Copy !req
161. Nature of the business,
you know?Copy !req
162. Do you like steak, Token?Copy !req
163. I know a great place
a few blocks from here.Copy !req
164. God damn it!Copy !req
165. So unfair.
It's so unfair.Copy !req
166. All that time and effort
we spent helping Token,Copy !req
167. and this is the thanks we get?Copy !req
168. This just goes to show that
hard work doesn't pay off.Copy !req
169. I'm gonna be a homeless
drug addict from now on!Copy !req
170. Uh, hello.
Is this the talent agency?Copy !req
171. Huh?Copy !req
172. I see sign on the street
for a talent agency.Copy !req
173. I need a representation.Copy !req
174. Hey, wowee.
Nice fountain.Copy !req
175. You're looking
for a talent agent?Copy !req
176. No, not me.
My wife.Copy !req
177. This is Wing.
She just come over from China.Copy !req
178. She over here illegally.
The Chinese Mafia help me out.Copy !req
179. And what does she do?Copy !req
180. Oh, she sing.
She very popular in China.Copy !req
181. Here. You just sit and listen,
you'll be very impressed.Copy !req
182. Well?
What you think?Copy !req
183. We're sorry, dude, but getting
her career off the groundCopy !req
184. would take too much work for us.Copy !req
185. Aw.
That too bad.Copy !req
186. She just got accepted to be on
"American Idol" in Los Angeles,Copy !req
187. but I can't take her 'cause
I have to mind the restaurant.Copy !req
188. You've... already done
all the work?Copy !req
189. Yeah.
They say they pay $1,000.Copy !req
190. Sir, we would love
to sign your wife.Copy !req
191. - Yeah!
- Really?Copy !req
192. We'll go to L.A. with your wife.Copy !req
193. All she has to do is go on
the show, do all the performing,Copy !req
194. make all the money,
and leave the rest to us.Copy !req
195. Chitty Wok.
Take your order, please.Copy !req
196. Hi. Mr. Lu Kim?Copy !req
197. Uh, hi.
It's Wing's agents.Copy !req
198. Everything's fine, yeah.Copy !req
199. We're supposed to arrive
in Los AngelesCopy !req
200. in about four hours.Copy !req
201. Listen, does your wife
ever eat or anything?Copy !req
202. Oh, don't worry about her.Copy !req
203. She a very delicate
little flower.Copy !req
204. She — She don't need to eat
much.Copy !req
205. All right. We'll call you
after she goes on TV.Copy !req
206. Okay, bye. Oh, wait.
Can I talk to my wife, please?Copy !req
207. Oh, sure.
Here she is.Copy !req
208. Okay.Copy !req
209. Finally, everything working out
for me and my family.Copy !req
210. Welcome to Chitty Wok.
Take your order, please.Copy !req
211. Oh, crap.
Chinese Mafia.Copy !req
212. Aaah!Copy !req
213. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
214. Mr. Lu Kim,
it appears we have a problem.Copy !req
215. Oh, a problem?
Really?Copy !req
216. We smuggled your wife
into United States for you.Copy !req
217. You were to pay us $10,000
for that service,Copy !req
218. yet we have yet to be paid.Copy !req
219. We — We working on it.Copy !req
220. She — She got talent agent.Copy !req
221. She's about to make
a whole lot of money!Copy !req
222. It's too late for that, Mr. Kim.Copy !req
223. Your wife is now our property.Copy !req
224. We taking her to Los Angeles,
where she will workCopy !req
225. in massage parlor
until she works off the debt.Copy !req
226. No.
She — She not here.Copy !req
227. Please, just give
a little more time.Copy !req
228. Where is she?Copy !req
229. She — She in Alabama.Copy !req
230. You're lying.
Turn him around.Copy !req
231. Yeah?
Wha— Aah!Copy !req
232. You don't want to tell us
where she is?Copy !req
233. All right.Copy !req
234. No!
My chitty chicken!Copy !req
235. No!
The chitty beef!Copy !req
236. No! No! Wait! Please!
Stop!Copy !req
237. Please, not the chitty shrimp.Copy !req
238. Tell us where to find her,
Lu Kim.Copy !req
239. You have no choice.Copy !req
240. She — She go Los Angeles
with her agents.Copy !req
241. She gonna be American Idol.Copy !req
242. There it is.
"American Idol' contestants."Copy !req
243. Jesus.
We made it just in time.Copy !req
244. Excuse us.Copy !req
245. Hey, kid, what do you
think you're doing?Copy !req
246. Our client has an audition
on this show.Copy !req
247. Yeah.
So do we.Copy !req
248. Oh, Christ!Copy !req
249. Dude, how long is the wait?Copy !req
250. It's been about 17 days for me.Copy !req
251. Oh, no. No, no, no.
Come on.Copy !req
252. Excuse me, ma'am.Copy !req
253. Wait in line
with everyone else.Copy !req
254. No.
I don't think you understand.Copy !req
255. We're here with Wing.
That's right. The Wing.Copy !req
256. Ma'am, we are a very important
talent agency.Copy !req
257. If your producers knew you were
forcing people of our statureCopy !req
258. to the back of the line —Copy !req
259. Oh, excuse me, everyone.
That's my cellphone.Copy !req
260. Hello?Copy !req
261. Oh, yes!
Hi... Colonel Sanders.Copy !req
262. Yes, I'm doing great,
but someone at "American Idol"Copy !req
263. doesn't know who Wing is.Copy !req
264. Aw, just forget it!Copy !req
265. You're right, Colonel Sanders.Copy !req
266. You shouldn't give her
any more chicken!Copy !req
267. God damn it!
God damn it!Copy !req
268. We can't wait in line. We have
to be in school on Monday.Copy !req
269. Stupid assholes!Copy !req
270. What do you mean
your client isn't coming?Copy !req
271. We're taping the show tomorrow!Copy !req
272. Where am I gonna find
another contestant?Copy !req
273. Fine!
Go screw yourself!Copy !req
274. Uh, excuse me, sir.Copy !req
275. Did I hear you say you needed
somebody for your show?Copy !req
276. We have somebody who's ready
to go on TV right away.Copy !req
277. Really?Copy !req
278. Is there a cash prize involved
in your show as well?Copy !req
279. Well, yeah.
Winner gets $1,000.Copy !req
280. All right!
Our client will do it!Copy !req
281. Great!
You kids just saved my ass.Copy !req
282. See you over at stage six.Copy !req
283. Hey, is your show as good
as "American Idol"?Copy !req
284. No. This is better.
It's called "The Contender."Copy !req
285. What's "The Contender"?Copy !req
286. Tonight — two people
will compete for glory.Copy !req
287. One will stay, one will go home,Copy !req
288. in the new hit show
by Sylvester Stallone...Copy !req
289. Hey, yo.Copy !req
290. "The Contender."Copy !req
291. Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to "The Contender."Copy !req
292. Fighting out of the red corner,
wearing blue-and-white trunks —Copy !req
293. "The Destructor"
from Del Fuego, Méjico —Copy !req
294. Manuello Fer-r-r-nando!Copy !req
295. Let's go!
Let's see a good fight!Copy !req
296. And fighting
out of the blue corner,Copy !req
297. wearing a gorgeous
floral-patterned silk dress —Copy !req
298. Wing!Copy !req
299. - Come on, Wing!
- Let's do it, Wing!Copy !req
300. - Let's go, Wing!
- Mrph rm!Copy !req
301. Come on!
Hit her!Copy !req
302. Oh!Copy !req
303. Oh, my God, dude!Copy !req
304. She's got a hell of a chin.
I'll give her that.Copy !req
305. Aww!Copy !req
306. Lame.Copy !req
307. Anyone?Copy !req
308. Help four boys and a Chinese
woman get back to Colorado.Copy !req
309. Your gift of hope
is a great deduction.Copy !req
310. Hey, kid.Copy !req
311. Mr. Stallone says he's sorryCopy !req
312. it couldn't go better
for you back there.Copy !req
313. Oh. Thanks.Copy !req
314. Yo, kid.Copy !req
315. Mr. Stallone thinks your singer
has a lot of talent.Copy !req
316. He really likes her voice.Copy !req
317. You know, the way
she vocalizes the melody...Copy !req
318. brings tears to his eyes.Copy !req
319. Thanks, Mr. Stallone.Copy !req
320. We're just sorry
she wasn't a better boxer.Copy !req
321. Uh, Mr. Stallone wants Wing
to sing at his son's wedding.Copy !req
322. You do?Copy !req
323. He'll pay her $4,000.Copy !req
324. $4,000?Copy !req
325. Be at this address tomorrow,
2:00 p.m. sharp.Copy !req
326. And don't be late.Copy !req
327. We won't.Copy !req
328. - Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
329. - You guys! You guys!
- What?Copy !req
330. Sylvester Stallone wants Wing
to sing at his son's wedding!Copy !req
331. He's gonna pay her $4,000!Copy !req
332. - Mrph?
- Get out!Copy !req
333. That's $400 for us.
We did it!Copy !req
334. - Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!Copy !req
335. Whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait.Copy !req
336. Where's Wing?Copy !req
337. What do you mean?
We thought she was with you.Copy !req
338. No, she was with you.Copy !req
339. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
340. If that big C.A.A. talent agency
finds out she has work,Copy !req
341. they're gonna try to steal her
away from us again.Copy !req
342. Wing? Wing?Copy !req
343. - Wing! Wing!
- Wing! Here, Wing.Copy !req
344. Mrph!Copy !req
345. You thought you could run
from us, did you?Copy !req
346. Oh, no!Copy !req
347. Hey!
That's our client!Copy !req
348. They did it to us again!Copy !req
349. That dirty talent agency stole
our client again!Copy !req
350. Not this time.
They dropped their card.Copy !req
351. Now we know where
C.A.A. talent agency is.Copy !req
352. And we're gonna march in there
and get our client back.Copy !req
353. You see, Mrs. Kim,
when you made a deal with us,Copy !req
354. you signed your life away.Copy !req
355. Yes, we help Chinese citizens
sneak into the U.S.,Copy !req
356. but when they get here,
they become our slaves.Copy !req
357. It's an age-old business,Copy !req
358. and nobody has the guts
to stop us.Copy !req
359. 2490. All right.
This is the place.Copy !req
360. Damn.
C.A.A. is pretty impressive.Copy !req
361. Of course it's impressive!Copy !req
362. They steal
everyone else's clients!Copy !req
363. Yeah. Whatever.
You can suck our balls.Copy !req
364. Hello?Copy !req
365. We want to talk to somebody
right now!Copy !req
366. Oh, my God, you guys.
Look.Copy !req
367. They do have
an amazing fountain.Copy !req
368. You assholes stole our client!Copy !req
369. How about some
goddamn business ethics?Copy !req
370. You tell 'em, Kyle.Copy !req
371. You think you own the business,
but you don't.Copy !req
372. Give us back Wing right now!Copy !req
373. - Aah!
- Mrph!Copy !req
374. Jesus! They really want Wing
as their client!Copy !req
375. What the hell is that?
Go, go!Copy !req
376. Dude, maybe we should give up!Copy !req
377. No.
Screw that, dude.Copy !req
378. If we keep letting C.A.A.
take all our clients,Copy !req
379. we're never gonna make it
as talent agents!Copy !req
380. Yeah, if these talent agents
want to play rough,Copy !req
381. we can play rough, too.Copy !req
382. Cartman!Copy !req
383. You want to play rough?
Okay!Copy !req
384. Take this!Copy !req
385. Whoa-oh-oh-oh!Copy !req
386. We got to split up
and find Wing!Copy !req
387. You and Kenny go that way!Copy !req
388. Whoa-oh-oh-oh!Copy !req
389. Wing?Copy !req
390. Whoa-oh-oh!Copy !req
391. Stupid talent agents!Copy !req
392. Oh!Copy !req
393. Oh!Copy !req
394. All right, Kenny.
Let's go.Copy !req
395. Kenny?Copy !req
396. Kenny!Copy !req
397. Don't worry, Kenny.
You didn't die for nothing.Copy !req
398. We're gonna get Wing back
as our client and —Copy !req
399. and make a ton of money!Copy !req
400. I swear it to you!Copy !req
401. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!Copy !req
402. They killed Kenny!Copy !req
403. You bastards!Copy !req
404. Enough!Copy !req
405. I have a lot of respect
for you boys,Copy !req
406. fighting your way in here.Copy !req
407. But you come any closer
and I'll blow her brains out.Copy !req
408. Don't give us that crap.Copy !req
409. She's no good to you dead,
and you know it.Copy !req
410. Yeah.
You wouldn't kill her.Copy !req
411. 'Cause then she can't
pay you money.Copy !req
412. We know because we're in
the same business you are.Copy !req
413. This woman has a contract
with us.Copy !req
414. We own her.Copy !req
415. She had a contract with us
first.Copy !req
416. We own her.Copy !req
417. Her life belongs to us!Copy !req
418. Her life belongs to us!Copy !req
419. Guys, guys, guys!Copy !req
420. Don't you see what we're doing?Copy !req
421. Jesus.Copy !req
422. We're not talking
about an object here.Copy !req
423. We're — We're talking
about a person.Copy !req
424. I mean,
look at what we've all become.Copy !req
425. All this violence and anger,
and for what?Copy !req
426. For control over somebody's lifeCopy !req
427. who we're all just trying to
leech off of.Copy !req
428. Yeah.Copy !req
429. Wing doesn't belong to us
or to you.Copy !req
430. We're all just caught up
in a businessCopy !req
431. that treats people
like commodities.Copy !req
432. Perhaps... you're right.Copy !req
433. We've spent all this timeCopy !req
434. mooching off the hopes
and dreams of others,Copy !req
435. forgetting that
they are human beings.Copy !req
436. Yeah. It's not
a very satisfying feeling.Copy !req
437. I am tired of this business.Copy !req
438. It is a very dirty
and perverse business.Copy !req
439. It's a lousy business.
I quit.Copy !req
440. Me too.Copy !req
441. Aw — Aw, guys.
Come on.Copy !req
442. We quit, too.Copy !req
443. It's time for us to find
another way to make money.Copy !req
444. From now on,
all contracts we have on peopleCopy !req
445. are null and void.Copy !req
446. - All right!
- All right!Copy !req
447. Mr. Stallone thanks all of you
for coming to his son's wedding.Copy !req
448. And now as a special treat...Copy !req
449. it is his pleasure to give you
the music of Wing!Copy !req
450. Boys, thank you so much
for everything.Copy !req
451. You really help us out.Copy !req
452. Yes.
You were right, kids.Copy !req
453. Her voice is so beautiful.Copy !req
454. To think we would have made itCopy !req
455. so nobody would ever
hear her sing.Copy !req
456. I think we all learned it's best
to leave talentCopy !req
457. to the talented people.Copy !req
458. Can I clear some of your plates,
folks?Copy !req
459. Token?Copy !req
460. Oh.
Hey, guys.Copy !req
461. W-What are you doing here?Copy !req
462. - Token, you're waiting tables?
- Yeah.Copy !req
463. Well, it turns out an agencyCopy !req
464. really doesn't do anything
for you.Copy !req
465. I'm trying to work my way
back home.Copy !req
466. Oh, man.
That's too bad, Token.Copy !req
467. Hey, could you bring us
some more bread?Copy !req
468. Oh, and some more olive oil.
Chop-chop.Copy !req
469. My God.
Her voice is so beautiful.Copy !req
470. Yes. She's a very
delicate little flower.Copy !req