1. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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2. What the heck?
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3. Whoa!
What a huge package!
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4. "To: Butters Stotch."
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5. Oh, boy! It's for me!
It's for me!
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6. Who is it from?
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7. "Sent from: Japan.
Konichi-wa!"
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8. Wow!
A package for me from Japan!
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9. Wow.
What could it be?
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10. My birthday
isn't until September 11th!
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11. Oh, boy! I've never gotten
a package this big.
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12. I've always wanted to have
a huge package!
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13. Aah!
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14. Greetings.
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15. I am the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
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16. Whoa.
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17. I have been sent from Japan
to serve as your personal robot.
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18. You — You're my robot?
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19. Yes.
I will be your new best friend.
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20. Oh, wow!
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21. Yep, that's right.
He's a real, live robot.
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22. He can walk and talk
and everything!
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23. You're like the fourth kid
I've told already!
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24. Well, I got to go, Dougie.
My robot and I have stuff to do.
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25. They're all so jealous.
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26. I'm so glad
you came into my life, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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27. You're the best friend
a guy could have.
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28. Yes.
You can trust A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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29. In fact,
you should tell A.W.E.S.O.M.-O
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30. all your most personal secrets.
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31. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O will not make fun
of you
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32. or tell your secrets
to other people and stuff.
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33. Hey, yeah!
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34. Well, I can tell you anything,
huh?
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35. Well, let's see.
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36. Well, for one,
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37. I have what's called
a heshiated colon,
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38. which means I sometimes
can't control my sphincter.
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39. Really?
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40. Nobody knows it,
but sometimes I poop my pants.
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41. So I have to wear a diaper
to school.
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42. You okay, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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43. Yes. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is fine.
Please go on.
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44. Well, I have to take medicine
for it every day.
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45. It's a little suppository
I have to put up my rectum.
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46. That —
That's very interesting.
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47. Tell A.W.E.S.O.M.-O more secrets.
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48. Oh, okay.
Let's see.
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49. Oh, my parents don't know,
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50. but sometimes I get picked on
by this one kid at school.
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51. His name is Eric Cartman,
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52. and he always tries to
play jokes on me and stuff.
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53. - Oh? Really?
- Yeah!
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54. One time he made me think
a meteor had hit the earth
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55. and convinced me to stay down in
a bomb shelter for three days.
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56. Wow. That sucks.
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57. Yeah.
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58. And then this other time,
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59. he pretended to be me
on the phone to my dad
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60. and called him a pussy.
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61. And so my dad came home
and beat me.
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62. Wow.
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63. Sounds like this Cartman kid
is pretty smart.
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64. No, he's not smart.
He's just an asshole.
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65. And he's never gonna play
a trick on me ever again!
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66. Really?
You think so?
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67. Well, guess what, Butters.
I have a surprise for you.
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68. Yeah, and he's never
gonna get me again,
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69. 'cause what Cartman doesn't know
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70. is that I know
one of his secrets.
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71. What?
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72. When Cartman is playing
all alone in his backyard,
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73. he likes to dress up
like Britney Spears
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74. and pretend he's her.
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75. He sings and dances around
with a life-size cutout
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76. of Justin Timberlake.
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77. You saw that?
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78. Yeah!
And I videotaped him doing it!
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79. Nunh-unh.
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80. I've got the whole thing
on tape —
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81. even him making out with
the Justin Timberlake cutout.
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82. - No way.
- Yeah!
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83. And if Cartman
ever messes with me again,
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84. I'm gonna show that video
to everybody.
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85. Then I'll have my revenge,
boy howdy!
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86. Um, where is this videotape,
Butters?
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87. Huh? Oh, I don't know.
It's around here somewhere.
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88. Hey, so what do you want to do
now, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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89. Uh, Butters, maybe you should
give A.W.E.S.O.M.-O the videotape.
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90. How come?
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91. Well, because A.W.E.S.O.M.-O can,
like, back it up for you
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92. and make copies and stuff.
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93. I am A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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94. Oh, that's all right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
Come on!
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95. I have a lot of things
to teach you!
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96. Oh, son of a bitch.
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97. Oh, that's so cute.
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98. Did you see Butters and his
friend Eric playing robot?
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99. Yes. Those boys
are quite imaginative.
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100. Leave it to them to find
a fun way to do the dishes.
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101. That's great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
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102. You can carry all my laundry
in one trip!
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103. Uh, Butters, it's getting late.
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104. You should be getting ready
for bed soon.
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105. Okay, Mom.
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106. Well, come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
Bedtime.
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107. Oh, is your little robot friend
staying the night?
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108. Well, of course he is.
He's my robot, ain't he?
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109. That's okay with your mom,
Mr. Robot?
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110. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not have a mom.
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111. Yep. Don't you know
nothin' about robots?
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112. Come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
You can put my laundry away.
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113. Oh, that's just adorable!
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114. It's good to see Butters
finally have a friend
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115. that wants to stay over.
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116. Ugh. Jesus
Christ. I can't go on like this.
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117. Butters, remember when you said
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118. you had a video of Eric Cartman
dressed like Britney Spears?
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119. Oh.
Yeah?
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120. I would like to see
what he looks like
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121. so I can beat him up for you.
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122. May I see the video?
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123. Aw, you don't need to do that,
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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124. Hey, I got to put in my
suppository. Can you help me?
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125. What?
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126. Remember I said
I had to put that
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127. medicinal suppository
in my anus?
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128. It'll be so much easier
having you do it from now on.
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129. Um... actually...
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130. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O was not programmed
for that function.
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131. Aw, it's real easy.
I'll show you.
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132. You just take this little thingy
out of the plastic paper.
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133. And then I'll —
I'll pull down my pants.
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134. And just slide it
up in my anus there.
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135. No way.
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136. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
I thought you were programmed
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137. to do whatever I tell you.
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138. Weak.
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139. Yeah.
That — That's pretty good.
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140. Get it up there good and deep.
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141. Lame.
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142. All right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
Time for us to get some sleep.
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143. Hey, you want me to teach you
some bedtime songs?
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144. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O must rest his CPU.
System overloading.
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145. Oh.
Oh, all right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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146. Let's get us some shut-eye —
or whatever robots have.
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147. Where is it?
Where is it?
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148. - A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
- Ah!
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149. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, what the Sam heck
are you doing?
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150. Um, A-A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is reorganizing
your stuff for you.
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151. Oh, cheese geez Louise!
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152. My mom is gonna be awful sore
when she sees this mess!
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153. Now, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
that is a bad robot!
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154. You can't do no chores for me
unless I tell you to do them.
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155. You got it?
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156. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O understands.
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157. I'm gonna have to give you
a spankin', A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
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158. so that you learn better.
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159. And just know, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, that I
did it because I love you.
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160. Okay. Come on.
Let's go make some breakfast.
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161. God damn it.
I have to find that videotape!
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162. Look at that, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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163. I drew a picture of us
playing in a field together.
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164. I'll be right back.
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165. I'm gonna go get
some Sunny Delight.
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166. I would like
some Sunny Delight, too.
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167. Don't be silly, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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168. Robots don't need to drink
nothin'.
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169. Oh!
Go answer the door, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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170. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O will answer the door.
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171. What the hell are you doing,
fat-ass?
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172. Dude, are you still pretending
to be a robot?
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173. Shh!
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174. I just need to, uh,
make Butters think I'm a robot
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175. for a little while longer.
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176. Why?
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177. Because I need to, all right?
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178. I've got something planned
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179. that's, uh, going to be
really sweet.
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180. Just play along, okay?
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181. Why?
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182. - Kyle, God damn it. Will you —
- Who's at the door, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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183. Three boys
named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.
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184. Oh, hey, fellas!
I see you've met my robot.
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185. Uh, yeah, Butters.
He's real cool.
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186. He sure is!
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187. We do everything together.
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188. Last night,
we even had a slumber party.
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189. Weak.
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190. He can do anything
I command him to.
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191. He's real smart.
Watch this.
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192. Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, will you go get
my friends some Sunny Delight?
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193. Yes.
Of course.
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194. Oh, wait.
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195. Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
I'd also like some celery sticks
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196. chopped up two inches long
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197. with peanut butter and raisins
on top.
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198. Suck my balls, Kyle.
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199. He's made in Japan!
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200. Yes, it has just been a delight
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201. having your son over,
Mrs. Cartman.
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202. He and Butters are really
getting along great.
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203. Oh, I'm so glad to hear it,
Mrs. Stotch.
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204. Eric has been having
some emotional problems lately.
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205. Well, the reason I'm calling
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206. is that Butters
is supposed to go see
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207. his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles
this weekend.
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208. The boys are getting along
so well
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209. that we were thinking of
inviting Eric to go along.
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210. Oh.
Well, I'm not sure.
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211. Actually, Eric is still
supposed to be grounded
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212. for trying to exterminate
the Jews two weeks ago.
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213. Excuse me?
I didn't catch that.
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214. Oh, but I suppose
it would be good for him.
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215. Yes.
Of course he can go.
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216. I'll bring
some of his clothes over.
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217. Oh, wonderful!
The boys will be so excited.
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218. Maybe he put that videotape
in here somewhere.
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219. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, what are you doing?
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220. My friends are waiting
for their beverages.
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221. Chop-chop!
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222. Hey, guys!
Great news!
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223. It's all been arranged —
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224. You two are both going
to Los Angeles
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225. to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie!
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226. Oh, boy! My robot gets to come
with me to see Aunt Nellie?
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227. What?
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228. Oh, boy, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
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229. We're gonna have
the best time ever!
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230. Lame.
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231. Hey, Nellie.
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232. Look what I found
scrampin' around the airport.
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233. Hi, Aunt Nellie!
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234. There's my little nephew!
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235. - How was your flight?
- It was long.
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236. We had a three-hour delay
departing Denver,
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237. but we're here!
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238. Didn't you bring any bags?
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239. Well, sure, but my robot
is bringing them in.
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240. Your robot?
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241. Butters' new friend
is a little strange.
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242. He — He really takes
playing robot seriously.
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243. There he is!
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244. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
this is my Aunt Nellie.
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245. Hello!
It's nice to have you here!
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246. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O must dispense
oil waste.
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247. Where is the nearest toilet,
please?
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248. Oh, right through there,
Mr. Robot.
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249. Thank you.
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250. I don't think he took
the costume off the entire trip.
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251. Did you want to get
right to sightseeing,
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252. or are you boys hungry
after such a long flight?
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253. Naw.
I ate on the plane.
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254. And A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is a robot,
so he don't need to eat.
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255. Right.
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256. Oh! Oh!
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257. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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258. Uh — Uh — A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is coming.
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259. Come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
We're gonna go a-sightseein'!
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260. Can you believe we're at a real,
live movie studio, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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261. Aren't we having the best time?
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262. Butters, wouldn't you like
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263. to have some time away
from A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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264. We could meet up later, perhaps.
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265. Hey, look over there, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
The film-studio commissary.
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266. That's where all them
rich movie producers
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267. that come up with Hollywood
blockbusters have their lunch.
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268. Neat-o, huh?
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269. Damn it, Mitch,
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270. how come our movie studio
can't come up with any winners?
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271. - I mean, we're smart, right?
- We're really smart.
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272. We need an idea for a movie
that's a home run —
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273. a feel-good romp
for the whole family.
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274. Hey, what's that over there?
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275. Wow! That's a really neat little
robot you have, little boy.
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276. What's he do?
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277. Well, he can do anything!
Watch this.
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278. Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, who's gonna win
the Super Bowl next year?
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279. The New Orleans Saints.
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280. Hey, Mr. Robot, how much wood
would a woodchuck chuck
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281. if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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282. 17.
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283. Mitch, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
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284. Yeah.
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285. Maybe that robot
can be programmed
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286. to come up with movie ideas!
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287. Exactly.
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288. Gentlemen, this little boy
was kind enough
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289. to let us show you his robot —
the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
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290. I've already seen
what it can do.
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291. Uh, excuse me, sir,
but, uh, that's not a robot.
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292. It's not?
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293. No.
It clearly has bipedal movement.
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294. So the correct term is
computerized automatron.
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295. - Oh, very nice, Mitch.
- You are the smart one.
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296. Well, regardless,
I believe maybe this automatron
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297. can help us come up with
new movie ideas.
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298. How can a robot come up with
better ideas for movies than us?
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299. Watch this.
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300. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, given the current
trends of the moviegoing public,
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301. can you come up with an idea
for a movie
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302. that will break
$100 million box office?
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303. Um... okay.
How about this?
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304. Adam Sandler is, like,
in love with some girl.
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305. But then it turns out
that the girl
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306. is actually a golden retriever
or something.
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307. Oh, perfect!
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308. We'll call it "Puppy Love"!
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309. Give us another movie idea,
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
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310. - Yeah!
- Let's hear it!
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311. - Yeah! We want to hear them!
- Come on! Come on!
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312. Okay.
How about this?
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313. A-Adam Sandler inherits
like a billion dollars.
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314. But first he has to, like,
become a boxer or something.
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315. Yes!
It's flawless!
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316. "Punch-Drunk Billionaire"!
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317. Boy, Los Angeles is great,
huh, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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318. Can you believe those guys
paid us $100 apiece
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319. for those movie ideas?
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320. You should split that money
with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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321. After all,
they were A.W.E.S.O.M.-O's ideas.
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322. Oh, right!
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323. What are you gonna do
with money, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O —
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324. buy some robot pants?
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325. No, we've got each other, and
that's all we need, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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326. I'm gonna send this money
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327. to needy kids
in Third World countries.
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328. Y-You okay, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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329. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O needs to rest!
Feeling faint!
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330. You go ahead and relax,
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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331. We've got another full day
of pitching movies tomorrow.
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332. Gentlemen, ladies,
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333. we all know that we live
in a time of uncertainty.
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334. The risk of an attack
on American soil
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335. is higher than ever.
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336. Now I believe we might be able
to curb that risk.
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337. Two days ago, our intelligence
department came across this.
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338. The A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
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339. It is currently being used
by Catamount Pictures
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340. to develop ideas for movies.
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341. Our sources say
that in just one week,
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342. it has come up with
over 1,000 movie ideas,
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343. 800 of which feature
Adam Sandler.
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344. - Oh, my God.
- That's amazing.
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345. Adam Sandler.
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346. That's incredible!
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347. You're thinking
the robot could be used
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348. to come up with
anti-Islamic movies?
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349. No.
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350. If we got our hands
on that robot,
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351. we could reprogram it
and turn it into a weapon.
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352. Yes. That might be
the best thing to do.
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353. Uh-huh. I don't see
how we have a choice.
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354. Hold on a second.
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355. If that robot is designed
for entertainment,
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356. then turning it into a weapon
is unethical.
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357. Unethical?
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358. Let me explain something to you,
Mr. Scientist.
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359. We understand that the robot
is from Japan.
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360. That means that the Japanese
have more of them.
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361. And if the Japanese fabricates
one of them into a weapon
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362. before we do...
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363. Jesus. It would be Pearl Harbor
all over again.
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364. But worse — with robots.
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365. I'm sorry.
I must protest.
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366. We — We have no data suggesting
the Japanese have developed
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367. a robot
with offensive capability.
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368. You're paid to think,
Mr. Scientist!
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369. National security is our job.
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370. Gentlemen, we're going
to Los Angeles.
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371. I want that robot.
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372. Yeah, me and my robot
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373. are still over at
the movie studio, Aunt Nellie.
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374. We're makin' all kinds
of money for the poor!
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375. Movie idea number 2,305 —
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376. Adam Sandler is trapped
on an island
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377. and falls in love
with a coconut.
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378. Great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
Great.
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379. Guys, take a break.
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380. I need a minute alone
with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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381. You are an incredible robot,
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
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382. I was just wondering...
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383. are you by chance
a pleasure model?
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384. What?
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385. Well, have you been programmed
to satisfy...
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386. the urges of humans?
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387. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not understand.
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388. Let me show you what I mean.
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389. Yeah, we're having a great time,
Aunt Nellie.
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390. These movie-studio guys
are real nice.
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391. Lame!
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392. Yeah, we're making
a bunch more money.
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393. I can't believe it either.
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394. Not cool!
Totally lame!
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395. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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396. I got to go, Aunt Nellie.
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397. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is having
some kind of malfunction.
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398. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
Hey, where'd you go?
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399. Let's go!
Move! Move!
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400. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
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401. Hey!
What are you doing with him?
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402. That's my robot!
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403. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O-O-O-O!
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404. Are those arm and leg locks
secure?
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405. - Secure, sir.
- Good.
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406. I don't want that robot mobile
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407. until I know
what it's capable of.
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408. All right.
Power it on.
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409. Wha-whoa-wha-whoa— Oh!
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410. - What the hell?
- What's going on?
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411. It... powered itself back on.
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412. Stand by.
Be ready to destroy it.
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413. Where the hell am I?
Hey! Why can't I move?
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414. Are your systems stable?
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415. Run a systems check on your CPU.
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416. The fuck are you talking about,
dude?
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417. I-I'm sorry, robot, but they
want me to reprogram you.
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418. I'm not a robot, dumb-ass!
I'm alive!
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419. What did you say?
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420. I said I'm a real person,
ass-wipe!
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421. Oh, my God.
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422. What's happening?
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423. The robot —
It thinks it's alive.
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424. It's developed consciousness.
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425. What?
How can that be?
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426. Must be a malfunction
of its hexagraphical IMS
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427. or the interlaced B.V. system.
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428. Speak in a language we can
understand, Mr. Scientist.
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429. Your robot doesn't know
it's a robot!
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430. God damn it,
get me down from here.
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431. Who made you, robot?
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432. I'm not a robot.
I'm a human!
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433. Jesus.
The scientist is right.
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434. But who would have programmed it
to think it was human?
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435. The movie studio?
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436. Look, retards,
my name is Eric Cartman!
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437. I live with my mom
in South Park, Colorado.
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438. Dear Christ.
They gave it memories, too.
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439. Sure.
Why not?
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440. Program the memories
of some eight-year-old boy
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441. who doesn't exist, and make
the robot think he's real.
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442. Makes for a lot better movies.
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443. I'm not reprogramming a robot
that's developed consciousness.
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444. Do I have to remind you
of your position?
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445. Don't forget you have a duty
to your country, Mr. Scientist!
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446. I want that robot's memories
and consciousness erased
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447. so we can take it back
to Washington.
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448. Got it?
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449. Damn you all to hell.
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450. Hey, wait a minute.
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451. Well, that's the van that —
Oh, my God!
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452. God damn it, stop!
I'm real! I'm real!
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453. It'll all be over soon, robot!
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454. Hang on. I'm getting you
out of here, robot.
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455. Oh, it's about friggin' time,
jackass!
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456. What the hell are you doing?
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457. I-I'm saving a conscious being.
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458. If you want to kill it,
you'll have to go through me!
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459. Fine.
Kill that son of a bitch.
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460. No!
Look, God damn it.
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461. Now I can show you stupid
assholes who I really am.
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462. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
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463. I am the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
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464. No!
No! Please!
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465. Don't kill him!
He's my best friend!
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466. He's my best friend
in the whole world!
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467. He's my...
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468. There. You see?
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469. You want to tell me
this isn't humanity?
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470. Who's to judge what makes
something human, anyway?
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471. Does this make me human?
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472. Or this?
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473. Or these?
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474. Perhaps... there is consciousness
in this robot.
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475. Maybe we as a society
need to realize
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476. that artificial intelligence
is intelligence all the same
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477. and we can learn
from the robots.
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478. I think maybe one day
we can all —
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479. Wait a minute.
Did — Did that robot just fart?
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480. Hey, robots don't fart.
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481. Uh, now ending fart sequence.
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482. Oh, and it — it smells, too!
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483. Smell sequence initiated.
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484. A robot with smelly farts?
That doesn't make any sense.
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485. Hang on a second here!
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486. Ooh, Justin.
Yeah.
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487. Wow, kid.
You're a little faggot.
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488. Lame.
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