1. called
Man From AtlantisCopy !req
2. and he had, like,
webbed fingers—Copy !req
3. Kyle, Kenny, I have to
talk to you right now!Copy !req
4. Okay, hang on
a second—Copy !req
5. Right now,
God damn it!Copy !req
6. Alright,
alright!Copy !req
7. Dude, what is the matter
with you?Copy !req
8. Trent Boyett is being
released from Juvenile Hall.Copy !req
9. What?Copy !req
10. Trent Boyett,
the kid from preschool?Copy !req
11. Yeah, he just
got paroled!Copy !req
12. Oh no, no...Copy !req
13. Hey, gay-bots,
what's going on?Copy !req
14. Trent Boyett is being released
from juvenile hall.Copy !req
15. Really that's cool,
when did—Copy !req
16. What did you say?Copy !req
17. Trent Boyett?Copy !req
18. Meanest, dirtiest,
toughest kid in the world,Copy !req
19. super-pissed-off-
at-us Trent Boyett?Copy !req
20. Yeah.Copy !req
21. Oh holy Jesus God.Copy !req
22. What the hell
are we gonna do?Copy !req
23. Is it true?Copy !req
24. Trent Boyett
is getting out?Copy !req
25. It's true.Copy !req
26. Oh Jesus,
oh Christ in heaven,Copy !req
27. I gotta hide!Copy !req
28. Ah, oh boy, ah...Copy !req
29. He's gonna
come for us.Copy !req
30. We are dead men.Copy !req
31. Look, maybe he's
forgiven us.Copy !req
32. I mean, we were
only in preschool.Copy !req
33. Dude, let's play
firemen.Copy !req
34. Totally, dude,
let's play firemen!Copy !req
35. Jews can't
be firemen.Copy !req
36. Shut up, fat ass!Copy !req
37. Don't call me fat,
you stupid Jew!Copy !req
38. Hey, Kenny's right.Copy !req
39. We should put out
a real fire.Copy !req
40. Then we'll be heroes.Copy !req
41. But how do we
start a fire?Copy !req
42. Trent Boyett
will do it!Copy !req
43. He's the toughest,
baddest kid in preschool.Copy !req
44. Say uncle!Copy !req
45. Uncle!Copy !req
46. Say uncle!Copy !req
47. Uncle!Copy !req
48. What do you
want?Copy !req
49. Do you know how to
start a fire?Copy !req
50. Sure, I burn
lots a stuff.Copy !req
51. Start one, then we're
gonna put it out.Copy !req
52. We're firemen!Copy !req
53. Do you even know
how to put out a fire?Copy !req
54. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
55. We play fireman
all the time.Copy !req
56. Don't worry, Trent.Copy !req
57. Alright, fine.Copy !req
58. Hey, fellas,
you better be careful.Copy !req
59. Shut up, Butters.Copy !req
60. We know what
we're doing.Copy !req
61. Oh, alright, then.Copy !req
62. Wow, cool.Copy !req
63. Code seven.Copy !req
64. Bring in
the firemen.Copy !req
65. Clang, clang, clang,
clang, clang.Copy !req
66. Come on, firemen,
put out the fire.Copy !req
67. We're heroes!Copy !req
68. We saved
the school.Copy !req
69. Hey, put it out!Copy !req
70. Trent Boyett,
what have you done now?Copy !req
71. They said they could
put it out.Copy !req
72. Children,
get back away now!Copy !req
73. Arrrrghhh!Copy !req
74. I'm burning!Copy !req
75. Put it out!
Put it out!Copy !req
76. Come on, hurry!Copy !req
77. We gotta get her
to the hospital.Copy !req
78. Dude, we are in
so much trouble.Copy !req
79. My mom is gonna
break my legs.Copy !req
80. Hey, we didn't
start the fire;Copy !req
81. Trent Boyett did.Copy !req
82. That's true.Copy !req
83. You boys, Trent is
trying to tell usCopy !req
84. the fire was your idea.Copy !req
85. No.Copy !req
86. Not us,
we're good kids.Copy !req
87. Tell them it was
an accident.Copy !req
88. You thought
you could put it out.Copy !req
89. Trent Boyett is
a liar, sir.Copy !req
90. I thought so.Copy !req
91. Alright,
that's it, Trent.Copy !req
92. You're going to Juvenile Hall
for a long time.Copy !req
93. Butters, you saw!Copy !req
94. Tell them
what happened.Copy !req
95. Aw, gee wiz, Trent,Copy !req
96. I-I don't
wanna get involvedCopy !req
97. or else my parents
will ground me.Copy !req
98. You better pray I never
get out of Juvenile Hall.Copy !req
99. You better all pray!Copy !req
100. Dude, when he gets
out of Juvenile Hall,Copy !req
101. he's gonna
wanna kill us.Copy !req
102. Whatever.Copy !req
103. That's like
five years from now.Copy !req
104. Yeah, who cares!Copy !req
105. Alright, yay!
- Yeah, alright!Copy !req
106. We did it!Copy !req
107. And now it's
five years laterCopy !req
108. and Trent Boyett
is being released.Copy !req
109. Oh Jesus,
he's gonna kill us.Copy !req
110. We gotta tell
our parents!Copy !req
111. We can't tell our
parents, dude.Copy !req
112. We lied to
everybody.Copy !req
113. Nobody knows
we're responsibleCopy !req
114. for Miss Claridge's
accident.Copy !req
115. Shhh-here comes
Miss Claridge now.Copy !req
116. Hello, Miss Claridge.Copy !req
117. Are you having a nice day,
Miss Claridge?Copy !req
118. You guys what the fuck
are we gonna do?Copy !req
119. In case you've forgotten,Copy !req
120. Trent Boyett is the meanest
kid we ever knew.Copy !req
121. He's gonna
tear us apart.Copy !req
122. Look, that was a
long time ago.Copy !req
123. Maybe Trent Boyett has
forgotten all about it.Copy !req
124. Everything you had on youCopy !req
125. when you were first
brought in hereCopy !req
126. will now be returned.Copy !req
127. One Crayola eight pack
with crayon sharpener.Copy !req
128. One pair of plastic
round-tip scissors.Copy !req
129. One marble: blue.Copy !req
130. And one...Copy !req
131. Switchblade knife
with "kill all betrayers"Copy !req
132. written on the blade...
Black.Copy !req
133. Trent, where you
gonna go?Copy !req
134. I gots business
to take care of.Copy !req
135. Ahh!Copy !req
136. Butters?Copy !req
137. Oh, oh, h-hi, Dad.Copy !req
138. Butters, what is
wrong with you?Copy !req
139. Nothin's wrong, sir;
nothin' at all.Copy !req
140. You've been shut up in
your room for days, Butters.Copy !req
141. You need
to go outside.Copy !req
142. Go play.Copy !req
143. Outside?Copy !req
144. No way!Copy !req
145. Why not?Copy !req
146. No reason!Copy !req
147. Butters, we have had it
with your moping around!Copy !req
148. You're gonna go outsideCopy !req
149. and you're gonna
play right now!Copy !req
150. But Dad, I just wanna
stay in my room...Copy !req
151. Butters, play!Copy !req
152. Start playing right now,
young man!Copy !req
153. T-T-Trent Boyett!Copy !req
154. Ahh!Copy !req
155. Agh!Copy !req
156. Dad, Mom,
I'm done playing now!Copy !req
157. Ahh!Copy !req
158. Let me in, Dad!Copy !req
159. Mom, Dad, you gotta open the door!Copy !req
160. What on earth is
the matter with him?Copy !req
161. Just keep the door
locked, honey.Copy !req
162. Butters can't just be a
house hermit his whole life.Copy !req
163. Oh God, he's coming!Copy !req
164. Oh hamburgers,
he's gonna kill me!Copy !req
165. I just can't stand to hear
him scream like that.Copy !req
166. I'm gonna go upstairs.Copy !req
167. Mom, Dad, you gotta open
the door right now!Copy !req
168. You gotta open—Copy !req
169. Oh, hey,
Trent Boyett!Copy !req
170. Gosh, haven't seen
you in a while.Copy !req
171. Five years.Copy !req
172. It's been five long,
miserable years.Copy !req
173. Look, Trent, I-I
know you're awful soreCopy !req
174. about pre-preschool
and all,Copy !req
175. but, well, that
was a long time ago.Copy !req
176. I mean, we were just kids.Copy !req
177. Please, don't
hurt me, Trent.Copy !req
178. I'll give you anything
you want, you name it.Copy !req
179. Can you give me
back my time, huh?Copy !req
180. Can you do that?Copy !req
181. Kindergarten,
first grade, second.Copy !req
182. Can you give me that?Copy !req
183. Well, no, Trent,
I'm not likeCopy !req
184. a time-traveler or nothing.Copy !req
185. I'm gonna give you
something you didn't give me,Copy !req
186. a five-second
head start.Copy !req
187. No Trent, I
ain't gonna run,Copy !req
188. we-we can talk
this through—Copy !req
189. Four seconds...Copy !req
190. But Trent, now listen to me,
I'm sorry for the—Copy !req
191. Three seconds.Copy !req
192. Oh, hamburgers!Copy !req
193. Thanks so much for
coming to visit ButtersCopy !req
194. in the hospital, boys,
it means a lot to him.Copy !req
195. What happened
to him, Doctor?Copy !req
196. From the test results
it would appear your childCopy !req
197. was tortured by a bully.Copy !req
198. He received
a massive snuggee,Copy !req
199. his underwear pulled up so high
it nearly killed him.Copy !req
200. He also received two
Indian sunburns on his forearms,Copy !req
201. a charlie horse on the thighCopy !req
202. and a second-degree
titty twister.Copy !req
203. And from the damage
to his head area, it appearsCopy !req
204. he was given
a swirlie—Copy !req
205. a colossal one.Copy !req
206. It also looks like
he received a noogie and...Copy !req
207. a polish bike ride.Copy !req
208. What's that?Copy !req
209. We aren't sure.Copy !req
210. We only know that
there is no cure.Copy !req
211. If only we
had let him in.Copy !req
212. Why didn't we let him
inside the houseCopy !req
213. when he was
screaming for help?Copy !req
214. Now, honey, we were
trying to read.Copy !req
215. We've got to tell them
who did this, you guys.Copy !req
216. We're gonna get it
as bad as Butters.Copy !req
217. That's nothing compared
to what my mom will do to meCopy !req
218. if she finds out I've been
lying for five years!Copy !req
219. Maybe you didn't hear so
good in there, Kyle.Copy !req
220. Second-degree
titty twister!Copy !req
221. Calm down, you guys.Copy !req
222. We don't have to
go tell our parents.Copy !req
223. We just need to go out
and get some protection.Copy !req
224. How the hell are condoms
going to help us?Copy !req
225. Sorry... Never mind.Copy !req
226. I'm talking about hiring
somebody bigger than TrentCopy !req
227. to protect us
from him.Copy !req
228. Come on!Copy !req
229. I'm gonna jump
the wall of fire.Copy !req
230. Yeah, that was sweet!Copy !req
231. Hey, look!Copy !req
232. Dude, we shouldn't
be here.Copy !req
233. Stay cool, guys.Copy !req
234. If anybody can protect us
from Trent Boyett,Copy !req
235. it's the sixth graders.Copy !req
236. Stupid little
fourthies!Copy !req
237. What are you little fourthies
doing at our hangout?Copy !req
238. We've come to...
Ask you for help.Copy !req
239. Help?Copy !req
240. We need you
to protect us...Copy !req
241. from a bully.Copy !req
242. Yeah, and what do we
get for it?Copy !req
243. A 12-pack of
Dr. Pepper,Copy !req
244. a Chutes and Ladders game,
used only three times,Copy !req
245. a DVD of Harry Potter Two,Copy !req
246. and a coupon for
a free side of friesCopy !req
247. with the purchase of any
deluxe hamburgerCopy !req
248. at Red Robin.Copy !req
249. All this
can be yours.Copy !req
250. You're gonna have to do
better than that, fourthies!Copy !req
251. Well, well,
what do you want?Copy !req
252. You're Stan Marsh, right?Copy !req
253. Yeah.Copy !req
254. Ooh!Copy !req
255. We want a picture
of your mom's boobs.Copy !req
256. Yeah!
- Sweet!Copy !req
257. What?Copy !req
258. Your mom has the
sweetest boobs ever.Copy !req
259. Yeah!Copy !req
260. I totally wanna
suck your mom's tits.Copy !req
261. Dude, weak!Copy !req
262. Come back with a
naked picture of your mom.Copy !req
263. No!Copy !req
264. Then we aren't
helping you.Copy !req
265. Wait, we'll do it.Copy !req
266. It has to be
a good picture, too.Copy !req
267. So long, fourthies.Copy !req
268. Okay, so now we just
need to get a pictureCopy !req
269. of Stan's
mom naked.Copy !req
270. Cool.Copy !req
271. That's the preschool teacher,
Miss Claridge.Copy !req
272. Poor woman suffered
such horrible burnsCopy !req
273. she can only communicate
by beeping once for "yes"Copy !req
274. and twice for "no".Copy !req
275. Oh, hello,
Miss Claridge.Copy !req
276. Nice day, isn't it?Copy !req
277. Need help across
the street, Miss Claridge?Copy !req
278. Oh, alright, then.Copy !req
279. Miss Claridge,
you alright?Copy !req
280. You can talk to me,
Miss Claridge.Copy !req
281. I understand, one beep
for "yes" and two for "no".Copy !req
282. Don't you think you should
get out of the street?Copy !req
283. Look, you don't
have to be so cold.Copy !req
284. I'm just trying to help.Copy !req
285. Ooh, sorry!Copy !req
286. Can Kyle come out
and play?Copy !req
287. Oh, Kyle isn't
home right now, hon.Copy !req
288. Thank you, ma'am.Copy !req
289. You see, Mom, all the kids
at school were toldCopy !req
290. to bring a picture
of their mom's breastsCopy !req
291. for anatomy class.Copy !req
292. I don't know, son.Copy !req
293. That sounds
awfully strange.Copy !req
294. You can not have a picture
of my hot breasts.Copy !req
295. But Mom, my teacher will—Copy !req
296. No, no, no,
you gotta go,Copy !req
297. But Mom...Copy !req
298. But Mom...Copy !req
299. But Mom...Copy !req
300. This is hopeless.Copy !req
301. Why don't you just
sneak in your mom's closetCopy !req
302. and get a picture when
she changing clothes?Copy !req
303. That's sick, dude,
I'm not taking a pictureCopy !req
304. of my mom's boobs.Copy !req
305. I will.Copy !req
306. No, you're not
doing it either.Copy !req
307. We just have to
find somethingCopy !req
308. that looks like boobs
to take a picture of.Copy !req
309. What else has big
round squishy globes?Copy !req
310. Draw the, um,
you gotta draw the nipples,Copy !req
311. like, on the bottom of
my ass cheeks.Copy !req
312. No, the nipples are
more in the middle, see?Copy !req
313. Yeah, but Stan's mom
is old,Copy !req
314. that means her nipples
sag more to the bottom now.Copy !req
315. How do you know?Copy !req
316. Will you guys trust me,
I know this stuff.Copy !req
317. Alright, fine.Copy !req
318. Oh, wait.Copy !req
319. We forgot
the necklace!Copy !req
320. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
321. God, I hope
this works.Copy !req
322. Excuse me...Copy !req
323. What do you
want now?Copy !req
324. We... we got it.Copy !req
325. You got a picture
of your mom's boobs?Copy !req
326. No way!Copy !req
327. Hey, hold on a second,Copy !req
328. these are, like, the hottest
tits I've ever seen!Copy !req
329. Whoa!
- Check 'em out.Copy !req
330. Give me that.Copy !req
331. Woah!Copy !req
332. I knew she
had a hot rack.Copy !req
333. Yeah!
- Sure did.Copy !req
334. Uh-huh!
- Uh-huh!Copy !req
335. Oh my God,
those are so hot.Copy !req
336. Okay, so now you'll help us
take care of Trent Boyett?Copy !req
337. Oh, alright, we'll let
this Trent Boyett kid knowCopy !req
338. that if he messes with you,
he's messing with us.Copy !req
339. Alright!
- Alright!Copy !req
340. You guys, we're free!Copy !req
341. We haven't
a care in the world.Copy !req
342. Alright!Copy !req
343. I need three minutes
alone with the pictureCopy !req
344. behind the bushes.Copy !req
345. I get to take the picture
behind the bushes after you.Copy !req
346. I'm taking it
to the bushes first!Copy !req
347. Dude, are we gonna be
like that someday?Copy !req
348. Nah.Copy !req
349. Man, I woulda loved
to have seen the lookCopy !req
350. on Trent Boyett's faceCopy !req
351. when all the sixth graders
showed up.Copy !req
352. Yeah.Copy !req
353. Trent's just lucky
he didn't mess with us.Copy !req
354. I woulda kicked his ass.Copy !req
355. Hey, look.Copy !req
356. What is
Miss Claridge doing?Copy !req
357. Miss Claridge?Copy !req
358. She won't talk
to anybody, boys.Copy !req
359. Some say she's just
given up hope.Copy !req
360. You guys, you know
what we should do?Copy !req
361. We should get a—Copy !req
362. Jesus Christ, I've never
seen so manyCopy !req
363. Indian sunburns and
titty twisters in my life!Copy !req
364. Get a cold towel on
that pink belly!Copy !req
365. Doctor we've got
another snuggie here!Copy !req
366. Over there!Copy !req
367. Another wet willy?Copy !req
368. Worst one yet.Copy !req
369. It's all slimy
and spitty...Copy !req
370. Give the poor kid
some morphine.Copy !req
371. Dude, what happened?Copy !req
372. We... told him not to
mess with you guys...Copy !req
373. We told him...
you paid us...Copy !req
374. Oh Jesus, you told
him that?Copy !req
375. Boys, you have
to let him rest.Copy !req
376. Some mean kid gave him
a Texas chili bowl.Copy !req
377. What's that?Copy !req
378. It involves Tabasco sauce,
a telephone, and the anus.Copy !req
379. I don't know what kind of kid
would do this to other people.Copy !req
380. I only know that I wouldn't
ever want to beCopy !req
381. on that kid's bad side.Copy !req
382. We're dead.Copy !req
383. Trent knows we sent
the sixth graders after him.Copy !req
384. He's gonna give us all
Texas chili bowl.Copy !req
385. We gotta move way.Copy !req
386. We gotta get as far away
from this town as possible.Copy !req
387. No, no, we've just got
to find better help.Copy !req
388. From who?Copy !req
389. We can't ask
adults for helpCopy !req
390. and there's nobody tougher
than sixth graders!Copy !req
391. There is... one person.Copy !req
392. Shelley...Copy !req
393. Shut up, turd,
I'm watching television!Copy !req
394. Shelley, you're my
sister, right?Copy !req
395. And families
depend on each other—Copy !req
396. I said shut up or I will
destroy you, turd!Copy !req
397. Shelley, somebody
is going to kill meCopy !req
398. and I can't go to Mom
or Dad for help,Copy !req
399. so you're kinda the only
person I have I-I-left.Copy !req
400. Stop crying, turd!Copy !req
401. Now who's
gonna kill you?Copy !req
402. Trent Boyett.Copy !req
403. He just got released
from Juvenile Hall.Copy !req
404. He was sent there for
burning Miss Claridge,Copy !req
405. but, actually, it
was our fault.Copy !req
406. Oh, you are
such stupid turds.Copy !req
407. We were only
four years old at the time.Copy !req
408. We didn't think about the past
coming back to haunt us then.Copy !req
409. We didn't think,
and now he's gonna kill us!Copy !req
410. Calm down, turd!Copy !req
411. No Juvenile Hall turd
is going to kill you.Copy !req
412. That's my job.Copy !req
413. So you're
gonna help us?Copy !req
414. Yes.Copy !req
415. But I'm gonna want
something in return.Copy !req
416. A picture of
your mom's boobs?Copy !req
417. Shut up, turd!Copy !req
418. You're going to admit to
Miss Claridge what you did!Copy !req
419. Admit it was our fault?Copy !req
420. You can't run from
your past, turds!Copy !req
421. Apologize and make amends,Copy !req
422. then I'll protect you from
this Trent turd.Copy !req
423. Miss Claridge,
the people in townCopy !req
424. are really worried
about you.Copy !req
425. Look, if you're having
some kind of problem,Copy !req
426. you have to be
able to talk to people.Copy !req
427. Just tell us this:Copy !req
428. do you trust that we want
what's best for you?Copy !req
429. Yes or no.Copy !req
430. Alright, fine.Copy !req
431. But someday you're gonna have
to learn to let people in!Copy !req
432. Bitch.Copy !req
433. Hi, Miss Claridge.Copy !req
434. Uh, we have
something to tell you.Copy !req
435. The thing is,
Miss Claridge,Copy !req
436. we did a lot of stupid things
when we were kids.Copy !req
437. A lot of stupid
things that we regret.Copy !req
438. And it's time for us to come clean.Copy !req
439. See, Miss Claridge,
when we were little,Copy !req
440. we used to play with
our wieners a lot.Copy !req
441. And one game we played
was called "firemen"...Copy !req
442. I've been lookin' for you.Copy !req
443. Five years I been
waitin' for this day.Copy !req
444. Trent, look, we've
realized our mistake!Copy !req
445. Yes!Copy !req
446. Our conscience got
the best of usCopy !req
447. and we were just about
to tell everyone the truth.Copy !req
448. You had five years
to do that.Copy !req
449. And while I wasted
away my life in prison,Copy !req
450. you've been enjoying
nice, normal lives.Copy !req
451. Our lives have not been
enjoyable, Trent,Copy !req
452. I promise you.Copy !req
453. Don't tell me that.Copy !req
454. I heard about
the things you done.Copy !req
455. But there were no magical
Christmas adventuresCopy !req
456. with talking poo for me.Copy !req
457. I didn't get to fight a huge
mechanized Barbara StreisandCopy !req
458. like you did.Copy !req
459. No accidental trips to
Afghanistan for Trent Boyett.Copy !req
460. Stay away
from us, Trent!Copy !req
461. What is that?Copy !req
462. It's my mom's tazer.Copy !req
463. I took it from
her purse.Copy !req
464. Just back off, man!Copy !req
465. Look, just take
your punishment.Copy !req
466. You deserve it!Copy !req
467. Let me have my retribution
and then it can be over with.Copy !req
468. I am not going to have
a titty twister!Copy !req
469. I hate titty twisters!Copy !req
470. You don't even know
how to use that.Copy !req
471. Agh!Copy !req
472. So, Trent, you
just had to finish offCopy !req
473. your old preschool
teacher, eh?Copy !req
474. No, they did it!Copy !req
475. Trent Boyett
is a liar, sir.Copy !req
476. Miss Claridge,
did Trent BoyettCopy !req
477. do this to you?Copy !req
478. "Yes, yes."Copy !req
479. Take him away!Copy !req
480. No, you gotta
listen to me!Copy !req
481. Dude, when he gets out
he's gonna be really mad!Copy !req
482. Whatever!Copy !req
483. That's like five years
from now!Copy !req
484. Yeah, who cares!Copy !req
485. Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!Copy !req
486. We did it!Copy !req
487. So long, Trent,
have a nice time.Copy !req
488. Hey, hold on a second!Copy !req
489. Uh-oh.Copy !req
490. Boobs!Copy !req
491. Boobs!
- Boobs!Copy !req
492. Oh my God,
boobs!Copy !req
493. I'm taking them
to the bushes.Copy !req
494. I'm taking them to
the bushes first!Copy !req