1. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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2. Stop it, Cartman.
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3. That's so funny.
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4. God damn it, Cartman!
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5. Stop throwing those
stupid poppy things at me!
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6. Come on and take a look, folks.
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7. We've got a lot of knives
for sale here.
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8. Oh, my God!
Look!
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9. "Martial arts weapons
from the Far East."
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10. Wow. Cool.
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11. Dude, we should each buy
a weapon,
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12. and then we'll be like ninjas.
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13. Yeah! We won't have to
take crap from anybody!
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14. Our parents won't let us
have weapons, dude.
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15. Who's gonna tell them,
dumb-ass?
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16. Yeah. Our parents are gonna be
at this stupid fair all day.
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17. They'll never know
what we bought.
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18. I'll get the tonfas.
Those are so sweet.
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19. I'm gonna get those killer sai.
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20. Look, Kenny, there's something
even you can afford —
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21. a ninja shuriken for $1.99.
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22. Mrph rm!
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23. Can I help you boys?
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24. Yeah. We want to get one of each
of these ninja weapons.
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25. Okay. You need to have your
parents here when you buy them.
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26. I can't sell to anyone under 18
without parents' permission.
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27. Parents?
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28. Parents?
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29. Oh, God!
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30. W-What's the matter?
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31. No!
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32. We're brothers, see,
and our parents died
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33. in a car accident last year.
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34. Why?
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35. Why?
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36. Why did you have to
take them both?
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37. Why?
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38. Why do people have to
keep reminding us
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39. of what we don't have?
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40. It's — It's all right, boys.
Don't cry.
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41. I'll — I'll just go pack
these up for you, okay?
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42. God damn. That's like
the 12th time that's worked.
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43. Kyah! Kyah!
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44. Tai-yo!
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45. Gyah!
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46. Shut up, hippies!
I'll kill you!
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47. Yah!
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48. With my tonfa of Takanawa,
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49. I become the great and powerful
ninja Shadowhachi —
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50. born to fight evil
and people I don't like.
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51. Yeah, and my powerful nunchucks
make me into Bunraku —
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52. a deadly but compassionate ninja
who protects those in trouble.
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53. What's your ninja name, Kenny?
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54. Mrph rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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55. Yes, and I am Bulrog —
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56. a tough, brute ninja
who has dedicated his life
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57. to eradicating the world
from hippies.
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58. All right, ninjas.
Let's go protect the world.
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59. Kick-ass.
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60. You guys,
you know what we should do?
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61. We should go show our weapons
to Craig and those guys.
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62. They'll be so jealous.
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63. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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64. No, dude. We can't go around
showing our weapons to people.
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65. Our parents might find out
we have them.
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66. Ugh. You see, guys, this is why
Jews can't be ninjas.
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67. They've got no spine.
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68. You don't know anything
about Jews, fat-ass!
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69. My mom took me to see Mel
Gibson's movie "The Passion,"
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70. and Mel Gibson says you are
snakes and you are liars.
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71. And if the Road Warrior says it,
it must be true.
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72. Don't worry, Kyle.
Craig's not gonna tell on us.
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73. Come, ninjas.
Let's go.
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74. All right.
This is it.
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75. Yes. The residence that belongs
to the one called Craig.
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76. I still say this is a bad idea.
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77. Ninja positions.
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78. Ha!
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79. Hello, Craig.
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80. Look what we got.
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81. Where'd you get those?
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82. We can't tell you where.
It's secret ninja stuff.
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83. Ooh, is that jealously
I see in your eyes, Craig?
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84. Mm, yes.
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85. Drown me in the sweet water
of your envy.
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86. Uh, th-they're not that cool.
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87. Yeah, they're not that cool.
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88. These are real, authentic
weapons from the Far East.
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89. But don't tell anybody
we have them.
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90. Ugh.
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91. - Whoa! Where'd you get those?
- Let me see!
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92. Uh, we'd love to hang out, guys,
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93. but we have important
secret work to do.
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94. Yes, the life of a ninja
is complex and full of peril.
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95. Come on, ninjas.
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96. - Ho!
- Mrph!
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97. Oh, man, did you see
the look on Craig's face?
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98. That was awesome!
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99. Dude, we're like the coolest
kids in the whole state.
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100. Hey, fellas.
What's happening?
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101. We're playing ninjas, Butters.
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102. Wow-ee!
Hey, can I play ninjas with you?
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103. No, Butters.
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104. We are a very select
elite fighting team sent
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105. to protect the world from evil,
and you can't play with us.
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106. Yeah. You wouldn't make
a very good ninja.
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107. Come on, guys.
We have a lot of work to do.
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108. Yes, and no time to do it.
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109. No time.
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110. I think I'd make
a really good ninja.
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111. Geez, those guys never
let me play with them.
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112. They just shun me all the time.
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113. I'm a lost soul —
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114. a dark, lonely shadow
of a person.
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115. - Hi, Butters.
- Hi, Mom.
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116. A castaway forced to live
his life out in solitude.
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117. It is because of times
like these
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118. I was forced to a life of evil.
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119. Society cast me out,
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120. and so I vowed
to make them all pay!
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121. And pay they did.
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122. Nobody knows that beneath
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123. this sweet, eight-year-old
little boy lies the most evil,
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124. most destructive supervillain
of all time!
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125. Professor Chaos!
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126. Let's see how you like
dealing with me, ninjas!
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127. Bah!
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128. Bah!
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129. Ooh, Butters.
Are you going out to play again?
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130. Yeah, Mom, I'm just going
outside for a little while.
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131. Well, could you be a sweetie
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132. and take that pie over there
to the Thompsons?
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133. I made it to thank them
for babysitting you last week.
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134. Oh.
Ok— Okay, Mom.
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135. Gah! Aah!
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136. Buh! Ugh!
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137. Buh!
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138. Hmm. This doesn't seem
to be the right way.
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139. My ninja sense is telling me
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140. we might be heading
in the wrong direction.
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141. Okay.
Hang on, guys.
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142. I'll use my special power
to see into the future
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143. and find out
where we should head next.
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144. Hold on, you guys.
I actually have another power.
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145. I can see into the future, too,
but better than Kyle.
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146. Let me try.
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147. God damn it, Cartman,
you can't keep making up powers!
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148. Yeah, dude. That's like the
fifth power you've come up with.
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149. I am Bulrog, and I have
lots and lots of powers.
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150. No, asshole! From now on,
you only get to have one power.
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151. So what is it?
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152. I have the power
to have all the powers I want.
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153. That doesn't count, fat-ass!
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154. Yeah, that's it, Cartman.
You don't get any powers.
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155. Hah! Ha ha ha ha!
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156. Well, well, well.
If it isn't the four ninjas.
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157. - Who the hell is that?
- I don't know.
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158. Craig, is that you?
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159. Fools!
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160. I am Professor Chaos,
bringer of destruction and doom!
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161. Your feeble ninja powers
are no match for me!
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162. Whoa.
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163. Looks like we have
a sworn enemy, you guys.
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164. Mrph!
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165. Very well, Professor Chaos.
We'll play along.
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166. Now feel the fiery sting
of my tonfa of Takanawa!
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167. Hyah!
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168. Hey, kid, that knocks you down.
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169. Nunh-unh.
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170. Yeah-huh.
I got you.
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171. Nunh-unh, because my cloak
is made of a titanium alloy
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172. that shields me from heat!
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173. That's bullcrap!
Titanium alloy, my ass.
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174. Well, let's see
how he likes the icy blast
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175. of my nunchucks of Kuramoto!
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176. Ha!
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177. Aah!
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178. Uh, nice attempt, ninja.
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179. But now both of you shall feel
the power of my Web of Holding!
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180. - Aah!
- Aah!
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181. - Ugh!
- Ugh!
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182. Now you are both trapped
in spider webs.
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183. All right, dickhole.
Time for you to pay.
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184. Oh, no. I have no powers.
Kyle took them away from me.
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185. Kyle, give me back my powers so
I can fight this evil villain!
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186. Okay, okay.
You can have your powers back.
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187. All right.
And now I'll use my power to...
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188. turn Kyle into a chicken!
Bah!
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189. God damn it, Cartman!
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190. Enough!
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191. I grow weary
of your foolishness.
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192. Professor Chaos
cannot be stopped.
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193. Oh, yeah?
Kenny, use your ninja star!
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194. Mrph!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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195. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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196. Aaaaaah!
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197. Oh, shit, dude.
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198. Butters!
Oh, my God.
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199. Oh, dude,
it's stuck in his eye.
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200. What the hell did you do
that for, Kenny?
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201. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
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202. It hurts!
It hurts!
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203. Oh, man!
We are in serious trouble!
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204. Shh! Shh! It's okay, Butters.
Calm down.
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205. I-It's not that bad.
Really.
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206. But I can't see nothin'.
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207. I got to go to the hospital!
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208. Okay, okay. Calm down, Butters.
It'll be okay.
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209. Guys, meeting over here
for a second.
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210. All right, you guys.
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211. We need to stay calm
and just do the right thing.
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212. We have to kill Butters
and bury him in Kyle's backyard.
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213. Dude, shut up.
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214. - I agree with Cartman.
- What?
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215. You don't understand
what my mom will do to me
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216. if she finds out I was
playing with weapons!
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217. Just stay still, Butters.
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218. Uh...
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219. Uh...
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220. Stop, dude!
You're gonna scramble his brain!
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221. Go ahead and scramble it.
He won't remember it was us.
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222. You guys can't fix my eyeball!
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223. You have to take me
to the hospital!
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224. If we take him to the hospital,
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225. they're gonna find out
what happened.
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226. God damn it!
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227. God, please,
if you get me out of this,
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228. I swear I'll never play
with weapons ever again.
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229. Don't be so quick to throw off
your ninja responsibility, Kyle.
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230. Now, come on, guys.
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231. Sure, it's easy to be a ninja
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232. when everything's going
your way.
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233. But it's time likes these,
when the chips are down,
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234. that a ninja shows
his true character.
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235. I-I'm getting woozy.
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236. Shut up, Butters.
Now, there's a way out of this.
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237. We just have to use
our ninja reasoning.
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238. We need a doctor,
but we can't go to the hospital.
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239. Wait a minute. Wait, wait.
What about the veterinarian?
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240. Dr. Shafley?
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241. He's really old and going blind.
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242. So if we make Butters up
to look like a dog...
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243. Oh, no.
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244. We might pass him off
as our pet.
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245. But — But, fellas, if I —
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246. if I dress up like a dog
with a star in my eye,
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247. I'm gonna get grounded!
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248. - Shut up, Butters!
- Shut up, Butters!
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249. That is the dumbest idea
you guys have ever come up with!
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250. I'd expect this stupidity
out of Cartman, but you, Stan?
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251. Butters needs medical attention
right now!
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252. All right. Then you take him
to the hospital, Kyle.
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253. You take him to the hospital
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254. and let your mom find out
what happened.
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255. Hand me the modeling glue.
We need more fur over here.
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256. That modeling glue
is making me dizzy.
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257. Butters, we're trying to help
you, god damn it!
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258. Now stop being such an asshole!
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259. We need some more fur.
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260. I think that's good.
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261. Okay.
Let's hear your bark, Butters.
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262. Woof. W-Woof?
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263. All right. Now we've just got to
sneak him into town.
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264. Okay.
It's clear.
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265. Now, remember, Butters — When
you get to the vet's office,
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266. you need to stay down on all
fours and — Butters, listen!
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267. At the vet's office, stay down
on all fours and bark a lot.
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268. Woof. Woof.
Woof.
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269. We've got to hurry.
It's getting late.
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270. - Oh, shit. Somebody's coming.
- Quick! Hide Butters!
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271. In here!
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272. But — But, fellas, I got —
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273. Aha! There you are.
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274. You guys thought
you were so cool, didn't you?
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275. Well, look at what we got.
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276. No way.
You got weapons, too?
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277. Where'd you get those?
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278. From the kn-kn—
From the kn— From the —
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279. From the knife guy
at the county fair.
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280. At first he said we needed
our parents' permission,
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281. but then we told him
our parents were dead.
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282. Aw, man, now every douchebag
in town has a ninja weapon!
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283. Lame!
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284. So, how would you ninjas
like to do battle?
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285. Uh, not now, Craig.
We — We have to be going.
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286. You can't pass through this area
until you defend your honor!
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287. He said not now, Craig!
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288. I am not Craig.
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289. I am Ginza — with the powerful
blade of the kintama.
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290. Yah!
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291. And I am Black Chaku —
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292. with the power
of perfect spelling!
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293. Guys, we're —
we're really not playing, okay?
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294. W-What —
What's the matter, f-fellas?
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295. Are you n-ninjas or p-p-pussies?
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296. We're twice the ninjas
you fags are!
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297. Then fight us.
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298. Very well, Clyde.
Yah!
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299. I swore to never fight again.
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300. We don't have a choice, Kyle.
Just humor them.
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301. Yah!
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302. - Yah!
- Yah!
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303. Wait, wait!
Wait, wait! Wa—
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304. Hold on a second.
Where's Butters?
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305. Oh, no.
Butters!
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306. Butters!
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307. Oh, nice going, you assholes!
You made us lose him!
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308. - Lose who?
- Butters!
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309. He got a ninja star stuck
in his eye.
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310. And we were taking him to the
vet when you fucked it all up!
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311. Butters?
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312. Stuck in his eye?
Was he bleeding?
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313. Y-Yeah, a little.
Butters!
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314. - Get back here right now!
- Oh, shit.
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315. You guys are in trouble.
We're out of here!
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316. No, dude!
You got to help us find him!
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317. - To hell with that!
- We're in this together, Craig!
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318. If Butters tells on us,
we're gonna tell on you.
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319. That's ninja code.
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320. Hello?
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321. Anybody?
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322. Woof. Woof?
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323. Woof-woof.
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324. Woof?
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325. Woof?
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326. - Butters?
- Butters?
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327. - Here, Butters!
- Mrph!
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328. - Butters!
- Butters!
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329. B-B-B-B-Butters?
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330. - Butters!
- Hey, Butters!
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331. Dude, look!
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332. Hello, there, children.
Copy !req
333. - Hey, Chef.
- How's it going?
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334. - Bad.
- Why bad?
Copy !req
335. Uh, Chef, you haven't seen
Butters around, have you?
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336. No, can't say that I have.
Copy !req
337. Hey, what are you children doing
with those weapons?
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338. N-Nothing.
Just... playing.
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339. Well, you children
should be careful with those.
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340. You could put
somebody's eye out.
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341. Yeah, we know.
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342. Well, I got to get
to the fairgrounds.
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343. They're about to start
the big auction.
Copy !req
344. So long, children.
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345. Woof. Woof!
Copy !req
346. Woof-woof!
Copy !req
347. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
348. What the —
Doctor! Doctor!
Copy !req
349. Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
350. What kind of sick bastard
would do this to a dog?
Copy !req
351. Poor little pup.
Copy !req
352. Woof-woof?
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353. Can you help him, Doctor?
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354. I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
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355. Unfortunately for this little
fella, I'm a people doctor.
Copy !req
356. Best we call the animal shelter.
Copy !req
357. Right away.
Copy !req
358. In our last episode,
the four ninjas did battle
Copy !req
359. with Professor Chaos,
bringer of destruction and doom.
Copy !req
360. It was during that great battle
that ninja master Kenny
Copy !req
361. threw his star
into Professor Chaos' eye.
Copy !req
362. Now the ninjas
were in serious trouble
Copy !req
363. because their parents
might find out they had weapons
Copy !req
364. if Professor Chaos told on them.
Copy !req
365. While trying to get
Professor Chaos some aid
Copy !req
366. at the veterinarian's office,
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367. the four ninjas ran into Craig
and his three friends.
Copy !req
368. They challenged the four ninjas
to fight,
Copy !req
369. and the legendary battle
of Tokutawa began.
Copy !req
370. It was during this battle
that Professor Chaos escaped,
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371. so the four ninjas
were forced to join forces
Copy !req
372. with Craig and his friends
to find Professor Chaos,
Copy !req
373. or else they would all
be grounded.
Copy !req
374. - Butters?
- Butters?
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375. - Here, Butters.
- Mrph!
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376. - Butters?
- Butters!
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377. Butters, where the hell are you?
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378. It's hopeless, dude.
Copy !req
379. Butters must have made it
to the hospital.
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380. By now our parents probably know
we were playing with weapons!
Copy !req
381. We have to get rid
of the evidence!
Copy !req
382. What?
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383. Dude, we have to get rid
of our weapons
Copy !req
384. so at least we can try
to deny everything.
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385. Screw that, dude. I paid
20 bucks for these things.
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386. Let's just return them
and get our money back.
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387. We don't have time for that,
dude!
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388. We just have to ditch them —
now!
Copy !req
389. Okay. Go ahead, Kyle.
Throw your nunchucks away.
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390. If you can.
Copy !req
391. But you know damn well that
your Jewish blood won't let you.
Copy !req
392. You can't throw away something
you paid 15 bucks for.
Copy !req
393. Go ahead and try.
Copy !req
394. Screw you, fat-ass!
Copy !req
395. Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.
Copy !req
396. Right now the Jew in you
is screaming, "No!
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397. Those cost money.
Get your money back."
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398. You know this to be true.
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399. Go ahead.
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400. Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle.
Do it.
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401. Aah!
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402. I-I can't do it.
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403. I can't do it.
I...
Copy !req
404. It's all right, Kyle.
Copy !req
405. We'll go back to the fair
and return them.
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406. Come on.
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407. Come on, little fella.
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408. Attaboy.
Copy !req
409. Right over here.
Good dog. Come on.
Copy !req
410. There you go.
Right in there.
Copy !req
411. Good dog.
Copy !req
412. Aah!
Copy !req
413. Somebody threw a ninja star
in that poor puppy's eye?
Copy !req
414. It just makes me sick how
some people can treat animals.
Copy !req
415. Well, nothing we can do for it.
Let's put it to sleep, shall we?
Copy !req
416. Here you go, pup.
Copy !req
417. I've got a sweet dose
of murder for you.
Copy !req
418. What the — Blast it!
He's escaped!
Copy !req
419. Oh, well.
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420. Let's murder
one of these other dogs.
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421. All right!
The county fair's still open.
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422. Can I help you boys?
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423. We have come to return
the weapons we purchased.
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424. Oh, sorry, kids.
I don't give refunds.
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425. Listen, doucher, our parents
are gonna kill us — and you —
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426. if they find out
that we bought these.
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427. I thought you told me
your parents were dead.
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428. - You guys! You guys!
- What is it, Craig?
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429. - It's Butters! We saw him!
- Where?
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430. Right on the other side
of the fairgrounds.
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431. He's just wandering around
aimlessly.
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432. - Then it's not too late!
- Come on, ninjas.
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433. All right, folks,
our next item up for auction
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434. is this lovely
19th-century lamp.
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435. Oh, crap, dude.
All our parents are there.
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436. Butters was right
on the other side.
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437. - We have to get past them.
- All right.
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438. Looks like I'll have to use my
power of invisibility to get by.
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439. You have that power, too?
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440. I told you — Bulrog has
lots and lots of powers.
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441. Behold.
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442. This way, I can move about
the crowd of people undetected.
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443. - Here. Hold this stuff for me.
- Good luck, Bulrog.
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444. This lamp comes from the estate
of Edna and James Holinger,
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445. who lived in upstate Wyoming.
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446. It has a bronze finish and
actual gold leaf along the base.
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447. This is a really rare
opportunity
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448. to own a classic antique.
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449. The lamp has been appraised
by our auction staff
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450. at well over $2,000,
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451. so we're gonna start the bidding
at $375.
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452. Do I — Do I hear $375?
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453. Kid, what the hell
do you think you're doing?
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454. Butters!
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455. What happened to him?
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456. Oh, my God!
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457. Oh, Jesus.
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458. Oh, dude,
we are gonna get it now.
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459. All right, people.
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460. We are all extremely upset
over what's happened,
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461. but let's try to speak
one at a time.
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462. Well, like the rest of you,
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463. I am shocked and appalled
at what happened.
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464. I don't know
if the parents are to blame
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465. or if it's the times
we're living in,
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466. but something has to change!
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467. This is the worst thing that's
ever happened in this town —
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468. the worst thing!
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469. Yeah!
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470. I mean, there were children
watching that auction.
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471. And when that little
eight-year-old boy
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472. walked up and flashed his...
penis, it was an outrage!
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473. I was outraged!
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474. What?
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475. What?
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476. Not only that, the auction
was televised on public access.
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477. So my little daughter watching
at home saw the... penis.
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478. How am I supposed to
explain that to her?
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479. This is what happens
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480. when the moral fabric
of society breaks down.
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481. - Yeah!
- It's the fabric's fault!
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482. You see the damage
you've caused, Eric Cartman?
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483. What were you thinking?
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484. I told you —
It was a wardrobe malfunction.
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485. - That's bull!
- No way!
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486. Dude, they don't care we knocked
Butters' eye out with weapons?
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487. Just run with it, dude.
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488. Uh, yeah.
I agree!
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489. Uh, my fragile little
eight-year-old mind
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490. didn't know how to deal with
what I was seeing.
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491. Cartman should be punished!
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492. - Yeah! That's right!
- I agree!
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493. Hey, fuck you, Kyle!
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494. - Dude, I-I can't believe it.
- Yeah!
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495. I guess parents don't give
a crap about violence
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496. if there's sex things
to worry about.
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497. So I guess this means
we get to keep our weapons.
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498. Yeah.
Come on, ninjas.
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499. We've got some more work to do.
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