1. Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!Copy !req
2. Okay, children.
Let's take our seats.Copy !req
3. We have a new student
joining us todayCopy !req
4. who has just moved here
from Utah.Copy !req
5. I want you all to say hi
to Gary!Copy !req
6. Hello, everybody. It's really
great to meet you all.Copy !req
7. Gary was state champion
in wrestling and in tennis.Copy !req
8. He also maintainedCopy !req
9. a 4.0 grade-point average
at his old schoolCopy !req
10. and has been on two national
commercials for toothpaste.Copy !req
11. I'm really excited
to live in this townCopy !req
12. and share all kinds
of great experiences with you,Copy !req
13. my new friends.Copy !req
14. Oh, dude, what a little asshole.Copy !req
15. Yeah.
Screw that kid.Copy !req
16. All right, Gary, why don't
you take that empty seat,Copy !req
17. and we'll get started
with the lesson?Copy !req
18. Hey.
My name's Gary.Copy !req
19. Hi! My name's Yura —
Yura Fag.Copy !req
20. That's funny.
You're cool, man.Copy !req
21. Okay, now, who can
tell me what yearCopy !req
22. the first astronauts landed
on the moon?Copy !req
23. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
1969.Copy !req
24. Very good, Gary.Copy !req
25. Wow.Copy !req
26. Looks like I don't have
a class full of retards anymore,Copy !req
27. doesn't it, children?Copy !req
28. Dude, that new kid
is such a douche.Copy !req
29. Yeah. Somebody needs to
put him in his place.Copy !req
30. He's a pecker face.
That's what he is.Copy !req
31. Go kick his ass, Stan.Copy !req
32. Yeah.
Go kick his ass.Copy !req
33. Well, maybe he won't fight.Copy !req
34. Will he bleed?
That's all we care about.Copy !req
35. Come on, dude.Copy !req
36. Somebody needs to wipe
that fucking smirk off his face.Copy !req
37. Yeah.
Little bitch.Copy !req
38. All right.
I'm gonna go kick his ass.Copy !req
39. Yeah! Go, Stan!
Go, Stan!Copy !req
40. I got five bucks
on the other kid. Who wants it?Copy !req
41. Oh, hey, there. You want to kick
the ball around with me?Copy !req
42. No.
I'm... I'm gonna kick your ass.Copy !req
43. Excuse me?Copy !req
44. I'm gonna kick your ass... bitch.Copy !req
45. How come you want to fight me?Copy !req
46. Oh, I get it.
I'm the new kid.Copy !req
47. Yeah.
I guess maybe I deserve it.Copy !req
48. Huh?Copy !req
49. It's really tough
being in a totally new place,Copy !req
50. but I think all you guys
are really cool, so...Copy !req
51. I understand
if there's initiation rites.Copy !req
52. Dude, stop it.Copy !req
53. Let him have it, Stan!Copy !req
54. Shut up, Butters!Copy !req
55. The other kids are watching.Copy !req
56. Look, do what you got to do.
I won't fight back.Copy !req
57. I just hope
that maybe afterwards,Copy !req
58. we can try to be friends
someday.Copy !req
59. What are they doing?Copy !req
60. They're just standing there,
talking.Copy !req
61. What happened?Copy !req
62. I'm... going over to his
house for dinner tonight.Copy !req
63. What? How did that happen?Copy !req
64. He's... a really nice kid.Copy !req
65. You were supposed to kick
his ass, not lick his butthole.Copy !req
66. You're having dinner
with his family?Copy !req
67. What kind of family
has a kid like that?Copy !req
68. Okay.
My turn.Copy !req
69. Ooh! 5!Copy !req
70. One, two, three, four, five.Copy !req
71. Oh! "Lost your mortgage —
pay $10,000."Copy !req
72. Oh, no!Copy !req
73. Hey, it's Gary!Copy !req
74. Gary!
- Great to see you!Copy !req
75. How are you?Copy !req
76. Hey, everybody.
This is my new friend Stan.Copy !req
77. Stan, this is my mom and dad.Copy !req
78. Hi, Stan!Copy !req
79. It's so nice to meet you!Copy !req
80. This is my brother Mark.
- Hi!Copy !req
81. My sister Jenny.
- Hey!Copy !req
82. My little brother, Dave.
- Hi!Copy !req
83. And my baby sister, Amanda.Copy !req
84. Hello, Stan!Copy !req
85. It's great you could join us
for family home evening, Stan.Copy !req
86. What's that?
- That's when we don't allow any TVCopy !req
87. and just entertain each other
with music and stories.Copy !req
88. Doesn't your family
ever do that?Copy !req
89. No.Copy !req
90. Hey, kids, why don't you grab
your instrumentsCopy !req
91. and play a song for Stan?Copy !req
92. All right! Let's do it!
- Yeah! All right!Copy !req
93. Oh, boy, who is
the best mom in the world?Copy !req
94. Yay!
- All right, Mom!Copy !req
95. All right!
Go, Dave!Copy !req
96. - Yes!
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
97. Where be your gibes now,
your gambols, your songs...Copy !req
98. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
99. That's a great story, Sarah!Copy !req
100. All right, kids.Copy !req
101. Now how about we do
some Scripture readings —Copy !req
102. from the Book of Mormon?Copy !req
103. All right!
- Yeah!Copy !req
104. Whoo-hoo!
- Ow!Copy !req
105. The Book of Mormon?
What's that?Copy !req
106. You know, the book
that Joseph Smith found.Copy !req
107. Who's Joseph Smith?Copy !req
108. Only the most important person
in the world.Copy !req
109. - You never heard of him?
- No!Copy !req
110. Tell us the story
of Joseph Smith again, Dad.Copy !req
111. Tell us!
- Tell us!Copy !req
112. Yeah, Dad.
- All right.Copy !req
113. All right, you rascals.
Gather 'round.Copy !req
114. Joseph Smith lived
in a little American townCopy !req
115. in the early 1800s.Copy !req
116. There goes
that kooky Joseph Smith.Copy !req
117. You know, he claims
he spoke with God and Jesus.Copy !req
118. Well, how do you know he didn't?Copy !req
119. Hey, Joseph.Copy !req
120. I told my wife that you spoke
with God and Jesus,Copy !req
121. and she didn't believe it.Copy !req
122. Well, it's true — I did.Copy !req
123. Where?Copy !req
124. I was out in the woods, praying.Copy !req
125. I was asking God
if I should be a ProtestantCopy !req
126. or a Catholic or what,Copy !req
127. and suddenly, God and Jesus
appeared before me.Copy !req
128. And they said I should start
my own churchCopy !req
129. because none of the others
had it right.Copy !req
130. And that's exactly
how it happened.Copy !req
131. You see?
You believe it now?Copy !req
132. Well, yeah. Sure.
Why would he make that up?Copy !req
133. And please bless Mother
and Father.Copy !req
134. And please keep our bellies
full of yum-yumsCopy !req
135. and luscious goodies.Copy !req
136. Aah!Copy !req
137. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
138. I am Moroni.
I am a Native American.Copy !req
139. A Native American?
But your skin is white.Copy !req
140. Yes. Long ago,
all Native Americans were white.Copy !req
141. We all came to America
from Jerusalem,Copy !req
142. and while we were here,
we were visited by Christ.Copy !req
143. Jesus lived here in America?Copy !req
144. Yes.Copy !req
145. Eventually my people
were all killedCopy !req
146. by the other tribe of Israel.Copy !req
147. And as punishment,
God turned their skin red.Copy !req
148. These are the Native Americans
you know today.Copy !req
149. There is an ancient book buried
near here,Copy !req
150. written on gold plates,
that account my people's lives.Copy !req
151. Also buried with the bookCopy !req
152. are two seer stones —
the Urim and Thummim —Copy !req
153. which will allow you
to translate the writings.Copy !req
154. Find it
and fulfill your destiny.Copy !req
155. Wow!Copy !req
156. And we all know
what happened then, don't we?Copy !req
157. Yeah!
- Yeah! I know!Copy !req
158. What happened then?Copy !req
159. Ooh, the Rice Krispie squares
are done.Copy !req
160. Rice Krispie squares!
- All right!Copy !req
161. Yay!
- Rice Krispie squares!Copy !req
162. Hey, gang, let's wrap some more
of them up in plastic wrapCopy !req
163. and hand them out to the poor!Copy !req
164. Awesome!
- I can't wait!Copy !req
165. You coming, Stan?Copy !req
166. No. I was supposed to be home
at 8:00.Copy !req
167. Aw!
That's too bad!Copy !req
168. Well, it was really nice
meeting you, Stan.Copy !req
169. Bye, Stan!
- See ya!Copy !req
170. Great to meet you!
- Bye!Copy !req
171. Told you he'd say that,
didn't I?Copy !req
172. Yep.
Yep, yep, yep.Copy !req
173. Hello?Copy !req
174. Oh. Hi, Stan.Copy !req
175. Hey, Dad, how come you never
told me about Joseph Smith?Copy !req
176. Who?Copy !req
177. Shut up, turd!
We're watching "Friends"!Copy !req
178. The guy who spoke to God
and Jesus.Copy !req
179. Well, Stan, God and Jesus
don't actually speak to people.Copy !req
180. That's not what
the Harrisons said.Copy !req
181. Who are the Harrisons?Copy !req
182. The new people that moved in
down the street.Copy !req
183. Mr. Harrison said Joseph Smith
spoke to God and JesusCopy !req
184. and they told him none
of the religions were right.Copy !req
185. Oh, did he, now?Copy !req
186. What are they, religious kooks?Copy !req
187. They're not kooks.
They're cool.Copy !req
188. How come we never have a night
where we don't watch any TVCopy !req
189. and we just do stuff together
and eat and drink?Copy !req
190. We have that, Stan.
It's called Friday-night kegger.Copy !req
191. But that's just you
and your friends.Copy !req
192. I said shut up, turd!Copy !req
193. Mr. Harrison said that
I need to be followingCopy !req
194. heavenly father's plan, and
I don't even know what that is.Copy !req
195. All right.
That does it!Copy !req
196. Where are you going?Copy !req
197. I'm gonna go have a talk
with this Mr. Harrison.Copy !req
198. If he thinks
he can fill my son's headCopy !req
199. with wacko religious crap,
he's wrong!Copy !req
200. Randy, don't cause trouble.Copy !req
201. Let me handle this, Sharon.Copy !req
202. You got to put these cult people
in their placeCopy !req
203. or else they never stop.Copy !req
204. I'm gonna go kick
this Mr. Harrison's ass.Copy !req
205. This Mr. Harrison is —
is a white guy, right?Copy !req
206. Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
207. I'm gonna go kick his ass!Copy !req
208. Goddamn religious kooks.Copy !req
209. Tell my son what to believe,
will you?Copy !req
210. We'll see how you like
my fist in your ass.Copy !req
211. Hello!Copy !req
212. Yeah.
Are you Mr. Harrison?Copy !req
213. I sure am.
The — The name's Gary.Copy !req
214. Well, look, my kid was just
over at your house and he, uh —Copy !req
215. Oh, you're Stan's dad!Copy !req
216. It's so nice
to finally meet you!Copy !req
217. Karen!
Mr. Marsh is here!Copy !req
218. Uh, look,
I just want to tell you that —Copy !req
219. Oh, Mr. Marsh!
What a treat!Copy !req
220. It's so nice to meet you!Copy !req
221. Well, thanks.
Uh...Copy !req
222. Karen just finished bakingCopy !req
223. the most amazing
Rice Krispie squares.Copy !req
224. With chocolate frosting.Copy !req
225. Come on out of the cold.
You got to try one.Copy !req
226. Or six.Copy !req
227. I cannot tell you how wonderful
it is to have you over.Copy !req
228. I hear you're a geologist.
That is so amazing.Copy !req
229. Look, uh, I actually came over
because I'm a little concernedCopy !req
230. about some of the things
you told my son.Copy !req
231. Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
232. You know, about... God and stuff.Copy !req
233. Oh.Copy !req
234. Oh, boy. Y-You think we were
trying to convert him.Copy !req
235. Well, I —Copy !req
236. Oh, Mr. Marsh, I am so sorry.Copy !req
237. We just moved here from Utah,Copy !req
238. and we're so used to everyone
being Mormon that we —Copy !req
239. we forget not everyone
wants to hear about it.Copy !req
240. Oh, boy.
You must be furious.Copy !req
241. Well... no. No.
I just —Copy !req
242. You just heard your son
talking about religious idealsCopy !req
243. that aren't your own,
and you said,Copy !req
244. "Who the heck do these
people think they are?"Copy !req
245. I-I'm really, truly sorry,
Mr. Marsh.Copy !req
246. It won't happen again.Copy !req
247. You can... call me Randy.Copy !req
248. Randy, the last thing we want
is for people to thinkCopy !req
249. we're pushing our religion.Copy !req
250. We know there are a lot
of beliefs out there,Copy !req
251. and ours just works for us.Copy !req
252. To each his own, right?Copy !req
253. Yeah.Copy !req
254. Yeah!Copy !req
255. You know, to be honest,
I've never known any Mormons.Copy !req
256. I don't even know
what you people believe.Copy !req
257. Who was this Joseph Smith guy?Copy !req
258. Why did he believe
that Native AmericansCopy !req
259. were actually white people
from Jerusalem?Copy !req
260. Well, because he found
ancient books they had writtenCopy !req
261. on gold plates —Copy !req
262. right where the angel Moroni
said they would be.Copy !req
263. I found them!
I found them!Copy !req
264. You're not gonna believe it,
everybody!Copy !req
265. I found them!Copy !req
266. Found what?Copy !req
267. Another New Testament
of Jesus Christ.Copy !req
268. What?Copy !req
269. Last night,
a Native American angel told meCopy !req
270. where I could find another
testament of Jesus Christ,Copy !req
271. so I went out to the woods.Copy !req
272. I dug around all morning where
the angel had told me to look.Copy !req
273. Hmm. Maybe there isn't anything
out here.Copy !req
274. Wait a tick. What's this?Copy !req
275. Wow.Copy !req
276. Inside the stone box,
I found the magical seer stones.Copy !req
277. Under that,
I found four gold platesCopy !req
278. written in strange writing.Copy !req
279. This must be the gospel
that Jesus told the Nephites.Copy !req
280. Well, they were the most amazing
things I had ever gazed upon.Copy !req
281. Well, s-so where are they?Copy !req
282. Where are what?Copy !req
283. The gold plates and the seer stones.
Where are they?Copy !req
284. Oh.Copy !req
285. Oh. Well, I was not allowed
to take them.Copy !req
286. You see,
after I found the plates,Copy !req
287. the angel Moroni
appeared to me againCopy !req
288. and said that I am not allowed
to show the platesCopy !req
289. or the seer stones to anybody,
because first I must translateCopy !req
290. what's written on the plates
into EnglishCopy !req
291. so you can all read it.Copy !req
292. Wow!
- That's amazing!Copy !req
293. I have some laundry to do.Copy !req
294. I've got to do
like your father did.Copy !req
295. So, how'd it go, Clubber Lang?Copy !req
296. You kick Mr. Harrison's ass?Copy !req
297. Not exactly.Copy !req
298. We're, uh, having their family
over for dinner tomorrow night.Copy !req
299. See?
That's what happened to me!Copy !req
300. Sharon, did you know
this guy Joseph SmithCopy !req
301. found a new testament to the
Bible buried here in America?Copy !req
302. What are you talking about?Copy !req
303. Well, it's just
that the HarrisonsCopy !req
304. are really nice people,Copy !req
305. and you should see how loving
and together their family is.Copy !req
306. I-I think there's something
to that religion.Copy !req
307. That's what they made me think,
too.Copy !req
308. All right.
That does it.Copy !req
309. From now on,
our family is Mormon!Copy !req
310. Hey, Stan, how was your date
last night with the new kid?Copy !req
311. Shut up, dude.
They're a nice family.Copy !req
312. Gary is actually really smart
and talented.Copy !req
313. Aww, you guys,
I think Stan's in love.Copy !req
314. Yeah, did you make out
with him, too?Copy !req
315. What's the big deal?
Can't I have other friends?Copy !req
316. You guys should give Gary
a chance.Copy !req
317. Hey, Stan.Copy !req
318. Oh, here's Stan's
little girlfriend now.Copy !req
319. Hey, guys.Copy !req
320. Stan, I remember you said last night
you'd lost your wallet,Copy !req
321. so I made you a new one.Copy !req
322. I carved a picture of John Elway
into the leather on the front.Copy !req
323. Wow.
You made this?Copy !req
324. Aw, look at them.
Aren't they so cute together?Copy !req
325. Hey, my family's on their wayCopy !req
326. over to the fire station
to donate blood.Copy !req
327. You want to come along?Copy !req
328. Uh, I don't think so, Gary.
I have to, uh —Copy !req
329. Here comes my family now!Copy !req
330. Hey, guys!
- Hey, guys!Copy !req
331. Look!
We painted our faces!Copy !req
332. I'm a lion.Copy !req
333. I'm an alien.Copy !req
334. Hey! Just what the heck
am I supposed to be?Copy !req
335. My God.Copy !req
336. You gonna come with us
to the fire station, Stan?Copy !req
337. Uh, no.
I've got a lot to do.Copy !req
338. Well, Gary, you want to just
hang out with your friend Stan?Copy !req
339. Oh, well, I'd like to, but...Copy !req
340. Oh, man, I would miss you guys
so much.Copy !req
341. We'd miss you, too, Gary.Copy !req
342. Oh, we'll all see each other
tonightCopy !req
343. when we go to Stan's house
for dinner.Copy !req
344. Stay and play
with your friends, Gary.Copy !req
345. Yeah!
Have a good time, boys.Copy !req
346. Let's go!Copy !req
347. Our faces are painted!Copy !req
348. Wow.Copy !req
349. So, what do you guys want to do?Copy !req
350. Uh, that's cool. We're gonna
leave you two lovebirds alone.Copy !req
351. The three of us
have to go put inCopy !req
352. some volunteer work
at the homeless shelter.Copy !req
353. Oh, cool!
I'm gonna do that tomorrow.Copy !req
354. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
355. So, hey, I heard your dad
came over last night,Copy !req
356. and he and my dad
talked about Joseph Smith.Copy !req
357. That's great!Copy !req
358. Yeah. I had a question
about that Joseph Smith guy.Copy !req
359. Sure.Copy !req
360. What happened after he found
the golden plates buried in the ground?Copy !req
361. Well, he kept them hidden
from everyone like he was told,Copy !req
362. and then he translated
what was written on the platesCopy !req
363. into the Book of Mormon.Copy !req
364. Yeah, but how?Copy !req
365. What's this all about,
Mr. Smith?Copy !req
366. Mr. Harris,
can you keep a secret?Copy !req
367. Well, sure, I can.Copy !req
368. I have in my possessionCopy !req
369. an ancient book written
on gold platesCopy !req
370. that tells of Jesus Christ's
second coming —Copy !req
371. here, in America!Copy !req
372. In America?
Really?Copy !req
373. That sounds kind of...Copy !req
374. It's true!Copy !req
375. And I'm going to translate
the platesCopy !req
376. and publish it into a book
for the whole world to read.Copy !req
377. Now, I-I know you have
a lot of money, Mr. Harris,Copy !req
378. and I'm just gonna need
a little bitCopy !req
379. to pay for the publishing costs.Copy !req
380. Mm, I don't know.Copy !req
381. How do you expect
to translate it?Copy !req
382. With these.Copy !req
383. Rocks?Copy !req
384. They're not rocks.Copy !req
385. They're seer stones
given to me by an angel.Copy !req
386. With them, God allows meCopy !req
387. to translate the plates
into English.Copy !req
388. Watch. You take this quill and
paper and write down what I say.Copy !req
389. Sit here.Copy !req
390. I have the golden plates
here in this hat.Copy !req
391. I need to have them
somewhere darkCopy !req
392. so I can read
the spiritual light.Copy !req
393. R-Really?Copy !req
394. When I put the seer stones
into the hat,Copy !req
395. the ancient letters light up
and change to English,Copy !req
396. which I can then read to you.Copy !req
397. Wow!Copy !req
398. Ooh!
I'm seeing the light!Copy !req
399. O-Okay.
Write this down.Copy !req
400. And so it... was...Copy !req
401. that... Christ appeared
before the...Copy !req
402. Nephites.Copy !req
403. One, two, three, four.Copy !req
404. "Pay $1,000 property tax."Copy !req
405. Isn't this great, you guys?
Our first family home evening.Copy !req
406. I want to watch TV.Copy !req
407. We're not watching TV!Copy !req
408. We're Mormons now, and we're
having family home evening!Copy !req
409. Dad, did you know
that Joseph Smith guyCopy !req
410. read the Book of Mormon
out of a hat?Copy !req
411. And?
Your turn, Sharon.Copy !req
412. It's just that
the Book of MormonCopy !req
413. says a lot of strange stuff,Copy !req
414. like that Adam and Eve lived
in Jackson County, Missouri.Copy !req
415. Yes?Copy !req
416. But school taught meCopy !req
417. that the first man and woman
lived in Africa.Copy !req
418. You can't believe everything
school tells you, Stan.Copy !req
419. Your turn, Shelly.Copy !req
420. Ooh!
That must be the Harrisons!Copy !req
421. Hey, we're here!
- Hey, everybody!Copy !req
422. Wow!
What a great house!Copy !req
423. You must be Mrs. Marsh!
It's so nice to meet you!Copy !req
424. And you must be Stan's sister.Copy !req
425. Oh, I think your brother's
the greatest.Copy !req
426. My brother is a stupid turd.Copy !req
427. Hey, Stan!
- Hey, Gary.Copy !req
428. Well, come on in
and sit down, everybody.Copy !req
429. You're here just in time.Copy !req
430. My son was having a little
problem with our new religion.Copy !req
431. Dad.Copy !req
432. Oh, really?Copy !req
433. Well, that's just because
he hasn't heard the best partCopy !req
434. about the Joseph Smith story —Copy !req
435. the one that proves
he was for real.Copy !req
436. Ooh.
What's that?Copy !req
437. Well, you remember
Martin Harris, the rich manCopy !req
438. who wrote down what Joseph Smith
read out of the hat?Copy !req
439. Yeah.Copy !req
440. See, after he was done,
he took some of the pagesCopy !req
441. of what would become
the Book of Mormon home.Copy !req
442. A-And so Joseph Smith
put his head into a hatCopy !req
443. a-and read to me
what the golden plates said.Copy !req
444. I wrote it all down, and we're
gonna publish it into a book.Copy !req
445. Martin, how do you know
he isn't just making stuff upCopy !req
446. Why would he make it up?Copy !req
447. All right. Here.
I'm gonna hide these pages.Copy !req
448. If Joseph Smith
really is translatingCopy !req
449. off of golden plates,
he'll be able to do it again.Copy !req
450. But if Joseph Smith
is making it all up,Copy !req
451. the new translations
will be different from these.Copy !req
452. Okay.
Fine.Copy !req
453. I bet he'll have no problem.Copy !req
454. Look, I'm sorry about losing
the pages we worked on, Joe,Copy !req
455. but I'm ready
to write it all down againCopy !req
456. if you'd translate
from the plates.Copy !req
457. I would love to, Martin,
except... I just had a vision.Copy !req
458. And the Lord said
he is very angry with meCopy !req
459. for letting you take
those pages.Copy !req
460. He is?Copy !req
461. Yes.Copy !req
462. He is so mad that
he will never let me translateCopy !req
463. from the plate of Lehi again.Copy !req
464. He said we must now translate
from the plate of Nephi.Copy !req
465. So it will be
the same basic storyCopy !req
466. but written
a little differently.Copy !req
467. Wow!Copy !req
468. If God got angry with you,Copy !req
469. then you must be telling
the truth!Copy !req
470. All right, Martin.
Let's get to work.Copy !req
471. And that's how it happened.Copy !req
472. Yeah!
- All right!Copy !req
473. Wait.Copy !req
474. Mormons actually know
this story,Copy !req
475. and they still believe
Joseph Smith was a prophet?Copy !req
476. Well, sure!
The story proves it, doesn't it?Copy !req
477. No, it proves he did
make it all up.Copy !req
478. Are you blind?Copy !req
479. Well, Stan,
it's all a matter of faith.Copy !req
480. No.
It's a matter of logic.Copy !req
481. If you're gonna say things
that have been proven wrong,Copy !req
482. like that the first man
and woman lived in MissouriCopy !req
483. and that Native Americans
came from Jerusalem,Copy !req
484. then you'd better have something
to back it up.Copy !req
485. All you've got are a bunch
of stories about some asswipeCopy !req
486. who read plates
nobody ever saw out of a hatCopy !req
487. and couldn't do it again when
the translations were hidden!Copy !req
488. Hey, Stan.
Don't denounce our religion.Copy !req
489. I don't want to be Mormon, Dad!Copy !req
490. Me neither.Copy !req
491. That's totally cool, guys.Copy !req
492. You can believe
whatever you want!Copy !req
493. Yeah! It's great you have
your own beliefs!Copy !req
494. Yeah!
- All right!Copy !req
495. Yay for the Marshes!Copy !req
496. Oh, stop it!
That's another thing!Copy !req
497. Why do you have to be
so freakin' nice all the time?Copy !req
498. It isn't normal!Copy !req
499. You just weasel people
into your way of thinkingCopy !req
500. by acting like the happiest
family in the worldCopy !req
501. and being so nice to everyoneCopy !req
502. that you just blindside
dumb people like my dad!Copy !req
503. Yeah!Copy !req
504. Well, kids...Copy !req
505. who's up for
a water-balloon fight?Copy !req
506. Yeah!
- Awesome!Copy !req
507. All right!
- Can't wait!Copy !req
508. Water-balloon fight!Copy !req
509. Oh, hey, Stan.
Where's your best buddy, Gary?Copy !req
510. I'm not hanging around
that kid anymore.Copy !req
511. Oh, no.
You guys broke up?Copy !req
512. You guys were right, okay?
The new kid's a douche.Copy !req
513. Now I just got to find a way
to keep him away from me.Copy !req
514. Hey, Stan.
- Oh, brother.Copy !req
515. Uh-oh!
The jilted lover returns.Copy !req
516. I just wanted to let you know
you don't have to worryCopy !req
517. about me trying to be
your friend anymore.Copy !req
518. I don't?Copy !req
519. Look, maybe us Mormons
do believe in crazy storiesCopy !req
520. that make absolutely no sense.Copy !req
521. And maybe Joseph Smith
did make it all up.Copy !req
522. But I have a great life
and a great family,Copy !req
523. and I have the Book of Mormon
to thank for that.Copy !req
524. The truth is, I don't care
if Joseph Smith made it all up,Copy !req
525. because what the church
teaches nowCopy !req
526. is loving your family,
being nice, and helping people.Copy !req
527. And even though people in this
town might think that's stupid,Copy !req
528. I still choose to believe in it.Copy !req
529. All I ever did was try to be
your friend, Stan.Copy !req
530. But you're so high and mighty,
you couldn'tCopy !req
531. look past my religion
and just be my friend back.Copy !req
532. You got a lot of growing up
to do, buddy.Copy !req
533. Suck my balls.Copy !req
534. Damn.
That kid is cool, huh?Copy !req