1. This is gonna be
so awesome!Copy !req
2. Do we have
everything?Copy !req
3. Chips, pop, cookies,
kleenex, toilet paper, flares-Copy !req
4. We won't have to leave
the tv room for anything!Copy !req
5. Alright!Copy !req
6. Look, it's
almost time!Copy !req
7. Up next on hbc,
the russell crowe show.Copy !req
8. Alright,
here we go!Copy !req
9. Russell crowe!Copy !req
10. Hello, everybody,
I'm russell crowe.Copy !req
11. And this is
"fightin' 'round the world".Copy !req
12. We're gonna have
lots of fun today,Copy !req
13. As we travel all around
and look for some good-Copy !req
14. Hey! What the hell do you
think you're doin'?Copy !req
15. You walked right through
my shot, mate!Copy !req
16. Do you know
who I am?Copy !req
17. Oh, excuse me,
I was just-Copy !req
18. Goddamn smartass!Copy !req
19. You think you can-Copy !req
20. Shelly, we're
watching that, go back!Copy !req
21. Shut up, turd,
I'm watching "buffy".Copy !req
22. No, shelly,
we have to watch hbc.Copy !req
23. Agh!Copy !req
24. Get up!Copy !req
25. Get up,
ya little pussy!Copy !req
26. The russell crowe
show?Copy !req
27. You turds don't even
like that show!Copy !req
28. It's not the show
we care about.Copy !req
29. During one of the commercial
breaks of tonight's episodeCopy !req
30. They're gonna show the exclusive,
never- Before-Seen trailerCopy !req
31. To the new terrance
and phillip movie!Copy !req
32. It's the biggest
night of the year!Copy !req
33. That's stupid.Copy !req
34. See your turdy trailer
some other time.Copy !req
35. But all the other kids
are gonna watch itCopy !req
36. And talk about it
in school tomorrow!Copy !req
37. No, turds.Copy !req
38. Shelly, did I ever tell you
how hot I think you are?Copy !req
39. Shut up, fat turd!Copy !req
40. I'm not a fat turd,
I'm a stocky turd!Copy !req
41. We're not watching this.Copy !req
42. Come on! Look, I apologize-Copy !req
43. But shelly, it's the
russell crowe show!Copy !req
44. You always said there's nothing
you love more than russell crowe.Copy !req
45. There is one thing I love
more than russell crowe,Copy !req
46. And that is
seeing you unhappy.Copy !req
47. So buffy it is.Copy !req
48. Shelly, please
let us watch!Copy !req
49. We'll do anything,
anything!Copy !req
50. Alright, I just started my
period and I need tampons.Copy !req
51. If one of you turds go buy
them at the store for me,Copy !req
52. You can watch
your stupid turd showCopy !req
53. With your stupid turd movie
commercial in it.Copy !req
54. Okay, deal.Copy !req
55. Then they better be here when
I come back downstairs, turds!Copy !req
56. Well that was a lot of fun,
wasn't it, kids?Copy !req
57. But it looks like if we're
gonna get in more fights,Copy !req
58. We're gonna have to
go look for 'em!Copy !req
59. Dude, why'd you
make that deal?Copy !req
60. If we're out buying tampons
we'll miss the trailer anyway!Copy !req
61. Yeah!Copy !req
62. Well, only one of us
has to go to the store,Copy !req
63. The others
can watch.Copy !req
64. You'd miss the
new trailer?Copy !req
65. Dude, I'm not going.Copy !req
66. Alright, we'll have
to play for it.Copy !req
67. If your name is
butters you have to go.Copy !req
68. Okay, so what's
your name?Copy !req
69. Stan. Okay, what's your name?Copy !req
70. Kyle. Kyle
- What's your name?Copy !req
71. Butters!Copy !req
72. Aww, I lose,
huh?Copy !req
73. Aww, yeah, butters,
you lose.Copy !req
74. Sorry, tough break.Copy !req
75. Just hurry,
butters,Copy !req
76. You can probably
make it back in timeCopy !req
77. Before the first
commercial break.Copy !req
78. Oh, Jesus, I gotta
run like the wind!Copy !req
79. That was a lot of fun,
wasn't it, kids?Copy !req
80. Dude, thank god
for stupid people.Copy !req
81. Amen.Copy !req
82. Where should we go
fight people next, tugga?Copy !req
83. Moooooop.
Great idea!Copy !req
84. Tugga thinks we should go to
the far away country of china.Copy !req
85. China is one of the oldest
civilizations on earth!Copy !req
86. And from what I understand,
they love a good fight!Copy !req
87. So let's go!Copy !req
88. Mooooooop,
mooooooop.Copy !req
89. Oh, my god,
it's russell crowe!Copy !req
90. Oh, my god,
it's russell crowe!Copy !req
91. Oh my- Blah ehh
ehhh eh ehhhh!Copy !req
92. Why don't you mind your
own business, ya scrotum!Copy !req
93. Ow.Copy !req
94. Dude, why is this guy always
beating everybody up?Copy !req
95. What's wrong with the
colors on your tv, stan?Copy !req
96. They're all
saturated.Copy !req
97. They look fine to me.Copy !req
98. Just don't mess
with it, cartman.Copy !req
99. No, no, the cable wire
must be loose.Copy !req
100. Just leave it alone.Copy !req
101. Dude, do you want to see the
terrance and phillip trailerCopy !req
102. With messed up colors?Copy !req
103. I don't.Copy !req
104. How's that?Copy !req
105. That's worse!Copy !req
106. Okay, how about
that-Copy !req
107. Dude! Goddammit, cartman, you broke it!Copy !req
108. It was just-
I just-Copy !req
109. Butters,
you asshole!Copy !req
110. Dude, the commercials
could start any time!Copy !req
111. I don't think we're
watching them on this tv.Copy !req
112. Goddammit! Come on, we can
watch it over at my house!Copy !req
113. Get all the stuff!Copy !req
114. Hey, fellas!
I got the tampons!Copy !req
115. I didn't miss it,
did I?Copy !req
116. We're going to kyle's
house to watch!Copy !req
117. Come on!
Oh, jeez!Copy !req
118. Oh, jeez,
oh, jeez.Copy !req
119. Hurry, we can't miss
the commercials!Copy !req
120. But the palestinian government
is not going to see any future-Copy !req
121. Oh, oh!Copy !req
122. Hurry, hurry,
hurry!Copy !req
123. And so here we are,
in history-Rich china!Copy !req
124. Me made it!Copy !req
125. It hasn't gone to
commercials yet!Copy !req
126. Whew! Whew!
Whew!Copy !req
127. Hey, I'm a
turtle bat.Copy !req
128. Ugh, oh, my god,
ugh...Copy !req
129. Ba ba ba ba!Copy !req
130. No, ike, they're
playing the trailerCopy !req
131. To the new terrance and phillip
movie during the show,Copy !req
132. And we have to
watch it!Copy !req
133. This is tea-Eeny-Man square.Copy !req
134. Lots of good fighting has gone
on here throughout the years,Copy !req
135. Including a fantastic massacre
that took place back in '93.Copy !req
136. These chinamen can grow
to over five feet tall,Copy !req
137. And in a fight, are known
to kick with their legs.Copy !req
138. Let's see if we can get in
for a closer look.Copy !req
139. Oy! I've gotten
close enough now,Copy !req
140. That they're startin' to get
real frightened.Copy !req
141. You can see the fine hairs
on the back of their necksCopy !req
142. Standin' on end.Copy !req
143. Gotcha, mate!Copy !req
144. Alright, you wanna
fight, huh?Copy !req
145. Think you can take me,
ya little buggas?Copy !req
146. Oh!Copy !req
147. Ahh!Copy !req
148. God, when is this gonna
get to the commercials?Copy !req
149. Kyle, ike says you
kicked him off the tv.Copy !req
150. They're going to show the new
terrance and phillip trailer!Copy !req
151. You know your brother
watches macneil-Lehrer reportCopy !req
152. Every night at ten.Copy !req
153. It has a bunny rabbit
on a night!Copy !req
154. But dad! This is all the
never-Before-Seen footage!Copy !req
155. It doesn't matter-
Ten to elevenCopy !req
156. Is ike's time to
watch macneil-Lehrer.Copy !req
157. Goddammit!
C'mon, guys!Copy !req
158. We gotta go to
butters house!Copy !req
159. Awww!Copy !req
160. Wait, fellas, we can't
go to my house!Copy !req
161. We can't to
my house either!Copy !req
162. It's being fumigated!Copy !req
163. Agh- Wait!
Chef just a gotCopy !req
164. A new plasma screen tv
with surround sound!Copy !req
165. Let's go to his house,
come on!Copy !req
166. - Taken place there
all these yearsCopy !req
167. Is sure to continue until
the governments of those regionsCopy !req
168. Can actually
come about some...Copy !req
169. It's a burning flag!Copy !req
170. Ugh... you guys...
I'm seriously.Copy !req
171. Goddammit, if we
missed the commercialsCopy !req
172. I'll never forgive
my brother!Copy !req
173. Oh, hello there,
children.Copy !req
174. Hey, chef!Copy !req
175. Uh...
how's it going?Copy !req
176. Oh, you wanted to see
the new tv, huh?Copy !req
177. Pretty cool, ain't it?Copy !req
178. Yeah, yeah, how do you
change the channels?Copy !req
179. I don't know, this tv has more
features than a space shuttle.Copy !req
180. I can't figure it out
at all.Copy !req
181. Bloomin' taj mahal-Copy !req
182. You got it!
You got it!Copy !req
183. Freakin' indies really
put up a fight!Copy !req
184. We made it!
Oh, thank god!Copy !req
185. Russell crowe?Copy !req
186. Children, you shouldn't be
watching a showCopy !req
187. About a man who beats people up
because he's insecure.Copy !req
188. We don't give two craps
about russell crowe, chef.Copy !req
189. We just want to see
the trailer forCopy !req
190. The new terrance
and phillip movieCopy !req
191. That's supposed to play
during the commercials.Copy !req
192. Alright, everyone, we're gonna
take our first commercial break.Copy !req
193. But be sure not to
go anywhere,Copy !req
194. Because there's lots more people
to beat up!Copy !req
195. Here they come!Copy !req
196. The commercials!Copy !req
197. And now back to russell crowe,
fightin' around the world!Copy !req
198. Awww!Copy !req
199. Aw, they didn't
play it!Copy !req
200. They didn't show the
terrance and phillip trailer.Copy !req
201. I knew it, I knew
they wouldn't play itCopy !req
202. During the first
commercial break!Copy !req
203. Yeah, they want everyone
to stick aroundCopy !req
204. And watch more of
this retarded show.Copy !req
205. Oy! Now tugga's
brought meCopy !req
206. To one of the greatest places
for fightin' in north america:Copy !req
207. Brooklyn, new york.Copy !req
208. Lots of minorities here,Copy !req
209. And they don't take kindly
to whitey!Copy !req
210. Let's get a closer look!
Come on, tugga!Copy !req
211. Moooop!Copy !req
212. Looks like we got some black
people, and some puerto ricans.Copy !req
213. Notice the colorful rags
on their heads,Copy !req
214. Meaning they could be
part of a gangCopy !req
215. And therefore,
real used to fightin'.Copy !req
216. Hey, look at that guy
over there,Copy !req
217. Ain't that that
"gladiator" guy?Copy !req
218. Where?Copy !req
219. Behind that plant,
next to that tugboat.Copy !req
220. Oh, yeah,
I think it is.Copy !req
221. "Oh, my god, it's
the gladiator guy!Copy !req
222. Oh my god, I've never
seen an actor before!"Copy !req
223. Why don't you choke on some
pig vomit, you stupid sods!Copy !req
224. Why can't this guy
control his temper?Copy !req
225. Well? You all just
gonna stand thereCopy !req
226. Or are you
gonna fight?Copy !req
227. Ooh!Copy !req
228. Crikey!
You done it now!Copy !req
229. This tv is great,
chef.Copy !req
230. Yeah, and it's got all kinds
of cool features, too!Copy !req
231. Check this out- You can watch
3 channels all at once.Copy !req
232. I think if you hit
this button here-Copy !req
233. No, no wait-
You hit this button here-Copy !req
234. No, that's not it,
let's see-Copy !req
235. Menu, function-Copy !req
236. Dude, put it back,
chef,Copy !req
237. More commercials
might come on soon.Copy !req
238. Let's see, menu...
aw, dammit.Copy !req
239. Get it back
to normal, chef!Copy !req
240. I'm trying,
children!Copy !req
241. Menu, back, function,
enter-Copy !req
242. No, no- Back!
H.E.M?Copy !req
243. Human eradication mode,
active.Copy !req
244. Oh, goddammit!
The tv left!Copy !req
245. But the next commercials
will be on soon!Copy !req
246. Come on, we gotta
go somewhere else!Copy !req
247. Ahhhh!Copy !req
248. Where do we go?
Where do we go?Copy !req
249. The bar! They've got
a tv at the bar!Copy !req
250. Agh! Agh!
I'm dying!Copy !req
251. You fight like norwegians,
ya fairies!Copy !req
252. Phew!Copy !req
253. We made it.Copy !req
254. This is killing me.Copy !req
255. The human body was not meant
to move quickly like that.Copy !req
256. These are
the florida keys...Copy !req
257. A remote island chain
just a few miles from-Copy !req
258. Oy, wait a minute!Copy !req
259. Wasn't I just in brooklyn
fightin' minorities?Copy !req
260. What happened
with that?Copy !req
261. Mooooooop.Copy !req
262. It's that
goddamn editor!Copy !req
263. He cut the brooklyn scene
short!Copy !req
264. Tugga, I'm gonna get him!Copy !req
265. Yeah...
I'm just working.Copy !req
266. I'll probably be done
around seven.Copy !req
267. Who the hell do you
think you are?Copy !req
268. I'm the editor.Copy !req
269. I know you're
the bloomin' editor!Copy !req
270. I mean, who do you
think you areCopy !req
271. Cutting one of my
fightin' scenes short?Copy !req
272. Dude, the director said
to cut it!Copy !req
273. My fightin' is poetry!Copy !req
274. You don't edit russell crowe's
poetry, ya testicle!Copy !req
275. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
276. Well, that guy
is just plain nuts.Copy !req
277. Hey, hey, hey, whoa,
you kids can't be in here!Copy !req
278. We're not kids, we're
full-Grown men with dwarfism!Copy !req
279. How dare you assume that
all midgets are children!Copy !req
280. We demand an apology!Copy !req
281. You ain't midgets,
your lips are too full.Copy !req
282. Now get out!Copy !req
283. But we have to watch the
commercials in this show!Copy !req
284. Look, this is a bar.Copy !req
285. We can't have children
in here-Copy !req
286. People come here for
debauchery and sin.Copy !req
287. Butters will give handjobs
in the corner for a dollar.Copy !req
288. Sure! I'm good at
all kinds of jobs!Copy !req
289. Get out!Copy !req
290. Aagh!Copy !req
291. Come on, we gotta
get to a tv!Copy !req
292. Oh, you've got to
be kidding me!Copy !req
293. Yes, is this
customer service?Copy !req
294. I'm having a problem
with my new television.Copy !req
295. It sprouted laser guns and started
walking around shooting people.Copy !req
296. Uh-Huh... okay...Copy !req
297. Oh, so I press 'menu',
then 'function'?Copy !req
298. Jesus!
Aaaaghgh!Copy !req
299. No, that didn't work.Copy !req
300. Did I set
the internal clock?Copy !req
301. Uh, no.Copy !req
302. Oh, really?Copy !req
303. Well, how do I
do that?Copy !req
304. We're not too late!Copy !req
305. Come on, tugga ol' mate,
why you looking so down?Copy !req
306. Mooo, mooooop.Copy !req
307. Tugga's in a bit of
a sad state.Copy !req
308. Seems his girlfriend and him
had a bit of a row last night.Copy !req
309. Mooooooop.Copy !req
310. What is this?Copy !req
311. Come on,
cheer up, tugga.Copy !req
312. How can I make you
feel better?Copy !req
313. I know!Copy !req
314. How would you like me
to sing one of the songsCopy !req
315. Off me new album?Copy !req
316. Mooooooooop!
Moooooop!Copy !req
317. What's that, tugga?Copy !req
318. You say you really love
the songs on my album?Copy !req
319. Moooooop!Copy !req
320. Alright then, tugga!Copy !req
321. Mooop!Copy !req
322. Tugga!Copy !req
323. Tugga shot himself!Copy !req
324. Has russell lost tugger
for good?Copy !req
325. Find out after
these messages.Copy !req
326. Here we go!Copy !req
327. Commercial break
number two!Copy !req
328. And now back to russell crowe,
fightin' around the world!Copy !req
329. That's it? That's all the commercials?Copy !req
330. They didn't play the terrance
and phillip trailer again!Copy !req
331. I knew it!
They're waiting untilCopy !req
332. The very last
commercial break!Copy !req
333. Ugh! We're gonna
end up watchingCopy !req
334. This whole retarded
russell crowe show.Copy !req
335. Tugga...Copy !req
336. Why'd you do it,
tugga?Copy !req
337. Doctor? Tell me
how he is, doctor!Copy !req
338. Well, he's a very sick
little tugboat-Copy !req
339. What is this?Copy !req
340. We want to watch "puppies
from around the world".Copy !req
341. Yeah, we don't
like this show.Copy !req
342. Shh! Okay?Copy !req
343. Old people need to
be quiet right now.Copy !req
344. Ya gotta
save him, doc!Copy !req
345. Tugga! He's me
best friend!Copy !req
346. The only friend
in the world who-Copy !req
347. He's going to live,
but-Copy !req
348. Oy! Don't ya
interrupt me, ya vagina!Copy !req
349. I was giving a heart-
Wrenching soliloquyCopy !req
350. About me feelin's
for tugga!Copy !req
351. Sorry.Copy !req
352. Oh, tugga!Copy !req
353. Tugga, the world wouldn't be
as bright without ya, mate!Copy !req
354. Give it to me straight,
doctor!Copy !req
355. Will tugga live?
Tell me the truth!Copy !req
356. Now?Copy !req
357. Yes, now's fine.Copy !req
358. Oh, uh, your tugboat's
going to be okay.Copy !req
359. He just needs an oil change
and a new steam stack.Copy !req
360. Oodalolly!
You hear that everybody!Copy !req
361. Tugga's gonna be okay!Copy !req
362. You what that makes me
feel like doin'?Copy !req
363. Fightin'!Copy !req
364. Ah!Copy !req
365. Ooh!Copy !req
366. This show is too violent!
Put the puppies back on!Copy !req
367. Yeah!
Puppies.Copy !req
368. Shut up!
Shut the hell up!Copy !req
369. We're watching this until
the next commercial,Copy !req
370. And that's final,
old people!Copy !req
371. Alright, that does it!
We know how to get our way!Copy !req
372. Everyone, on the count of 3,
release your bowels!Copy !req
373. One, two!Copy !req
374. Uuuugh!Copy !req
375. Oh god,
it's horrible!Copy !req
376. That's disgusting,
dude!Copy !req
377. God, I hate
old people!Copy !req
378. We have to go butters
or cartman's house,Copy !req
379. We have nowhere
else to go!Copy !req
380. I told you! We can't go to my house!Copy !req
381. And my house is
being fumigated!Copy !req
382. Well, screw it!
We'll watch in your houseCopy !req
383. Even if it is
being fumigated!Copy !req
384. Ah, ah... we gotta go...
come on...Copy !req
385. Aghh! Aghh! Aghh!Copy !req
386. Turn it on,
turn it on!Copy !req
387. Crikey! Ol' tugga looks
healthy, happy and-Copy !req
388. Fit as a whistle!Copy !req
389. It's okay,
it's still the show.Copy !req
390. But you know,
tugga's attempted suicideCopy !req
391. Has made me realize that
I should take up a cause.Copy !req
392. Most great actors
take up causes,Copy !req
393. And I'm the greatest
of them all!Copy !req
394. So, from now on, I'm gonna
spend all my spare timeCopy !req
395. Fighting cancer.Copy !req
396. Right! Where is that pussy
cancer anyway?Copy !req
397. Oh dude, I don't know
how long I can take it.Copy !req
398. Me neither, I'll be dead
before the commercials!Copy !req
399. Wait a minute!Copy !req
400. I forgot there's a black & white
tv back at my house!Copy !req
401. Will your sister
let us watch it?Copy !req
402. She has to!Copy !req
403. Hurry, the commercial's
gonna be on any minute!Copy !req
404. Oh, god! Oh, god!Copy !req
405. Oh, Jesus help me!Copy !req
406. Oh no!
I've lost a doughnut!Copy !req
407. Hagah! Hagaah!
Oh my god!Copy !req
408. Leave no doughnut behind!
Ha ha!Copy !req
409. Oh, Jesus! Wait! What?Copy !req
410. I never gave shelly
her tampons!Copy !req
411. She's been this whole time
without them.Copy !req
412. Ahhhhhh!Copy !req
413. I told you I needed
tampons, tuuuurds!Copy !req
414. Look, crack addicts
with a television!Copy !req
415. Well, we couldn't find cancer,
but we found a man with cancer.Copy !req
416. Take that, cancer!Copy !req
417. And that!Copy !req
418. Moooop! Moooop!Copy !req
419. The last commercial break has
to be coming any second!Copy !req
420. Aaaagh!Copy !req
421. Yes, I pressed 'menu'
three times!Copy !req
422. No, it's giving me
the same 'error' message!Copy !req
423. Yes, I read the
instruction manual!Copy !req
424. Where do we go?Copy !req
425. Oh Jesus, now where
do we go?Copy !req
426. We've tried
everywhere!Copy !req
427. Butters, are you absolutely
sure we can't go to your house?Copy !req
428. I'm sure,
there's no way!Copy !req
429. Well, why not?
Because!Copy !req
430. My parents are
out of town,Copy !req
431. And I don't have
a babysitter!Copy !req
432. Oh, goddammit,
you better be kidding.Copy !req
433. No, I really don't
have a babysitter,Copy !req
434. That's why I'm
staying at stan's.Copy !req
435. This whole time your tv is in
a house with nobody in it?Copy !req
436. Come on, let's just go,
we'll kill butters later!Copy !req
437. And so, we'll be right back,
after these commercials!Copy !req
438. We made it!Copy !req
439. The last commercial
break is starting!Copy !req
440. Don't go anywhere-
Russell crowe will be right backCopy !req
441. After a few more
commercials!Copy !req
442. These commercials are all
so goddamned stupid!Copy !req
443. Jesus christ, how long is this
commercial break gonna be?Copy !req
444. What if they don't show the
terrance and phillip trailer at all?Copy !req
445. What if we went through
all this for nothing?Copy !req
446. They have to show it!
They promised they would!Copy !req
447. You guys, calm down!Copy !req
448. This is what tv shows
always do!Copy !req
449. They make the last
commercial break the longest.Copy !req
450. That's bullcrap!
Tv shows are gay!Copy !req
451. Wait a minute!
Look!Copy !req
452. The following
preview is-Copy !req
453. This is it!
This is it!Copy !req
454. Coming this summer...Copy !req
455. The greatest canadian duo
of all time is back.Copy !req
456. Whooo-Hooo!
Yeeesss!Copy !req
457. That looks
awesome!Copy !req
458. They were wearing
cowboy hats!Copy !req
459. Did you see?
Did you see?Copy !req
460. Clyde, clyde,
did you guys see it?Copy !req
461. Yeah! We think it's
gonna be good too!Copy !req
462. I'm so glad we
didn't miss it!Copy !req
463. You guys, clyde said
he taped itCopy !req
464. And kids can
come over now to see!Copy !req
465. Oh dude, let's go!Copy !req
466. It looks even better than
their first movie, huh?Copy !req
467. Yeah, sure does!Copy !req
468. I wonder if it's
all a western!Copy !req
469. How far away
is june?Copy !req
470. Well, we sure had a good time
today, didn't we, kids?Copy !req
471. We fought some chinamen,
a few peckers,Copy !req
472. And a lot of colombians
to name just a few.Copy !req
473. But I sure am glad we got ol'
wally-Bee back, aren't you?Copy !req
474. I'm glad to be back,
russell!Copy !req
475. Oh, my god,
it's russell crowe!Copy !req
476. "Oh, my god,
it's russell crowe!Copy !req
477. Oh, my god,
ballghgh!"Copy !req
478. Why don't you go flush yourself
town a toilet, ya cu-Copy !req
479. Moooooo-Ooooo.Copy !req
480. Uh-Oh, tugger's whistle.Copy !req
481. You know what
that means!Copy !req
482. See ya next time,
everybody!Copy !req
483. So I'm supposed to press 'menu'
then 'function' then 'enter'.Copy !req