1. Okay, children, step off
the bus and form a groupCopy !req
2. Next to the
nice redneck.Copy !req
3. I mean, rancher.Copy !req
4. Hello, boys and girls,
my name is rancher bob.Copy !req
5. Let's all say hello
to rancher bob.Copy !req
6. Hi, rancher bob.Copy !req
7. I'm pleased to show you all
the wonderful world of beef.Copy !req
8. Follow me.Copy !req
9. City kids get to go to
museums for field trips.Copy !req
10. We get cow farms.Copy !req
11. Now, out here you can
see our cattle.Copy !req
12. This is where the magic begins
as the cows eat, sleepCopy !req
13. And prepare for
certain death.Copy !req
14. They look
so delicious.Copy !req
15. And here we have
the slaughterhouse.Copy !req
16. This is where we turn the cows
into steaks and burgers!Copy !req
17. Ewww!
Ewww!Copy !req
18. Aw, dude!Copy !req
19. Anybody want
a free sample?Copy !req
20. Me me me me!Copy !req
21. And in here, boys and girls,
we have our veal ranch.Copy !req
22. You see, with veal,Copy !req
23. The whole key is keeping
the cows chainedCopy !req
24. So they can't walk around
or get any exercise.Copy !req
25. That way, their muscle
tissue stays soft,Copy !req
26. And makes for
tender veal.Copy !req
27. Wait a minute,
veal is...Copy !req
28. Little baby cows?Copy !req
29. Yepper!Copy !req
30. Then why the hell do
they call it "veal"?Copy !req
31. Well, if we called it
"little baby cow"Copy !req
32. People might not
eat it.Copy !req
33. Yeah!
I wouldn't have!Copy !req
34. Me neither.Copy !req
35. Oh man,
look at that one!Copy !req
36. He looks delicious!Copy !req
37. What?Copy !req
38. Mmm, succulent
and juicy...Copy !req
39. Can we have a free
sample of these too?Copy !req
40. Well, no, but all these
veals are going toCopy !req
41. The slaughterhouse
tomorrow morning.Copy !req
42. They'll be steaks
by the afternoon,Copy !req
43. And then you can buy them
at your grocery store.Copy !req
44. All right!Copy !req
45. Tomorrow morning?Copy !req
46. Dude, we gotta
help them.Copy !req
47. Yeah.Copy !req
48. Psst-
Cartman.Copy !req
49. No, uncle jessie, no!Copy !req
50. Cartman, wake up!Copy !req
51. What?Copy !req
52. What the hell are
you guys doing?Copy !req
53. Come on,
we gotta go!Copy !req
54. Where we going?Copy !req
55. We're gonna go save the
little baby cows, fat-Ass.Copy !req
56. What, why?Copy !req
57. They're gonna get
slaughtered, butthole!Copy !req
58. So?Copy !req
59. So we can't let 'em die,
douche bag.Copy !req
60. You're our friend,
now come help us.Copy !req
61. Well, let's see,
in the last 3.2 secondsCopy !req
62. You've called me fat-Ass,
butthole, and douche bag.Copy !req
63. I really don't feel much
like your guys' friend.Copy !req
64. We're sorry,
you are our friend.Copy !req
65. We need you to help us because
friends stick together.Copy !req
66. Wait, I thought you said we
needed him because he hasCopy !req
67. Impossible
breaking and entering playset"?Copy !req
68. Dammit, butters,
will you shut up?Copy !req
69. Oh ho!Copy !req
70. So you need me and my
impossibleCopy !req
71. Breaking and
entering playset.Copy !req
72. Yes, we do.Copy !req
73. We're those little
baby cows' only hope.Copy !req
74. Will you help us?Copy !req
75. Yes, yes, I will.Copy !req
76. If kyle will kiss
my black ass.Copy !req
77. What?Copy !req
78. Just give it a little kiss
and I'll help.Copy !req
79. Screw you, cartman!Copy !req
80. Okay, but if you
want my helpCopy !req
81. You have to give it
just a little kiss.Copy !req
82. Kiss it.Copy !req
83. Go on, dude,
it's the only way.Copy !req
84. No!Copy !req
85. Kiss it.
Come on, kiss it!Copy !req
86. Just do it really fast
and we can go.Copy !req
87. Have butters kiss it!Copy !req
88. No, it has to
be kyle.Copy !req
89. Ohhh!Copy !req
90. Oh man, that was
so awesome!Copy !req
91. Sick, I felt it
on my face!Copy !req
92. Okay, very funny, cartman,
now come on.Copy !req
93. Hey, I'm not
going with you.Copy !req
94. Yaaa!Copy !req
95. I don't know
about this, fellas,Copy !req
96. It says right on the
impossibleCopy !req
97. Breaking and enteringCopy !req
98. "Not for actual
breaking and entering.Copy !req
99. Breaking and entering
is a crime."Copy !req
100. Yeah, well, killing little
helpless baby cowsCopy !req
101. Should be a crime too.Copy !req
102. How does this thing
work, cartman?Copy !req
103. Jesus, don't you guys
have any toys?Copy !req
104. First you put on
the black ski mask.Copy !req
105. Then use the torch to
cut a hole in the roof.Copy !req
106. Okay, that's far enough,
I'm going to go delta.Copy !req
107. You have to talk louder,Copy !req
108. I forgot the
double-A batteriesCopy !req
109. For the super talk
playaction headset.Copy !req
110. I said that's
far enough!Copy !req
111. Don't be scared,
little baby cow,Copy !req
112. We're here to
set you loose.Copy !req
113. There you go,
you're free!Copy !req
114. Run away!Copy !req
115. Go, they're gonna
murder you!Copy !req
116. Stan, could you
hurry it up?Copy !req
117. I'm freezing
my ass off.Copy !req
118. You need to freeze
some of your ass off.Copy !req
119. Oh, at least I have
an ass, jew!Copy !req
120. What?Copy !req
121. Come on, you stupid
baby cows!Copy !req
122. You have to get
out of here!Copy !req
123. What's the matter?Copy !req
124. They aren't leaving!Copy !req
125. See? Maybe they want to become
sweet, juicy veal steaks.Copy !req
126. Hey, they've never been
allowed to walk before.Copy !req
127. They just don't know how!Copy !req
128. Oh yeah, they're
too weak to move.Copy !req
129. We've got to get them
out of here.Copy !req
130. We'll just keep them
at butters' houseCopy !req
131. Until they can get
their strength back.Copy !req
132. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
133. I can't bring calves
into my house,Copy !req
134. I'll get grounded.Copy !req
135. Okay, fine, butters,Copy !req
136. I guess you're not
a team player.Copy !req
137. We'll bring them
to my house.Copy !req
138. Dude, how are we gonna move
23 calves to your house?Copy !req
139. I don't know.Copy !req
140. I've got it!Copy !req
141. We could kill butters,Copy !req
142. And then float the calves
on a river of blood.Copy !req
143. Don't be stupid,
cartman!Copy !req
144. Butters doesn't have
that much blood in him.Copy !req
145. Yeah, I do, too!Copy !req
146. We're just gonna have to
carry them one by one.Copy !req
147. Come on you, guys!Copy !req
148. Ehh!Copy !req
149. Check it out, you guys,
I'm calf curling.Copy !req
150. Man, these calves
smell like crap.Copy !req
151. I don't see how you're
gonna hide themCopy !req
152. From your mom
much longer.Copy !req
153. We won't have to.Copy !req
154. Butters said he had
something at his houseCopy !req
155. That makes baby cows
strong again.Copy !req
156. He's bringing it over.Copy !req
157. Butters had that
at his house?Copy !req
158. Hey, fellas!Copy !req
159. Butters,
did you bring it?Copy !req
160. I sure did!Copy !req
161. We'll have those poor baby
cows in shape in no time!Copy !req
162. All right!Copy !req
163. "Suzanne sommers
calf exerciser."Copy !req
164. What?Copy !req
165. "Makes your calves stronger
in just two days."Copy !req
166. Oh, goddammit!
That's your plan?Copy !req
167. You think
it's a gimmick?Copy !req
168. Suzanne promises right on
the box that it works.Copy !req
169. Hello, mrs. Marsh!Copy !req
170. Officer barbrady,
what can I do for you?Copy !req
171. Well, we've got
a little problem.Copy !req
172. Jed here caught your
boy and his friendsCopy !req
173. Trespassing on his ranch.Copy !req
174. They stole some
of his property.Copy !req
175. Stole?
Are you sure?Copy !req
176. I followed
a calf curling trailCopy !req
177. Right to your
house, ma'am.Copy !req
178. Ooh, stan's
in trouble!Copy !req
179. Let me kick
his ass, mom!Copy !req
180. Now, now,
my son is not a thief.Copy !req
181. I'm sure this is just some
kind of misunderstanding.Copy !req
182. Stanly, did you see-Copy !req
183. Oh, crap!Copy !req
184. Stanly, what are you doing
with those calves?Copy !req
185. That asshole was
gonna kill themCopy !req
186. And feed them
to people!Copy !req
187. Stanly, they
belong to him.Copy !req
188. They don't belong
to anybody!Copy !req
189. Please, mom, we don't want
these cows to die!Copy !req
190. Let me hit him, mom!Copy !req
191. Stanly, this isn't up
for discussion.Copy !req
192. The rancher is going to
take his cows backCopy !req
193. And you don't
have a choice.Copy !req
194. Stanly!Copy !req
195. Stanly, you open
this door right nowCopy !req
196. Or you're gonna
get it!Copy !req
197. No!Copy !req
198. Stan, you're behaving
like a kid.Copy !req
199. You're the ones who
made me eat vealCopy !req
200. Without telling me
what it was!Copy !req
201. You're the ones who
knew we were makingCopy !req
202. Little baby
animals suffer!Copy !req
203. Open this door, now!Copy !req
204. Kiss my ass!Copy !req
205. Oh, jeez, he said "ass"
to his parents.Copy !req
206. You're getting in
pretty deep, dude.Copy !req
207. I apologize for this,
mr. Rancher person.Copy !req
208. Well, why don't you
just tell themCopy !req
209. That the cows
will be safe?Copy !req
210. And when they come out
I can take them back.Copy !req
211. I can't lie
to my son, okay?Copy !req
212. If I betrayed him
like that,Copy !req
213. I'd pay for it
the rest of my life.Copy !req
214. Well, that's just
too bad!Copy !req
215. Look, that's $800's
worth of veal up thereCopy !req
216. And I have to
ship out friday!Copy !req
217. What are you going to do,
officer barbrady?Copy !req
218. Me? How'd I get
into this mess?Copy !req
219. So what happens now?Copy !req
220. I'm gonna lock myself
in here with these cowsCopy !req
221. Until we have a guarantee of
their safety, in writing.Copy !req
222. We're with you, dude.
Yeah!Copy !req
223. Don't be so sure.Copy !req
224. Because I'm gonna
tell you-Copy !req
225. This is gonna get ugly,
real ugly.Copy !req
226. When all is said and done
you could all be looking atCopy !req
227. Being grounded for three,
perhaps even four weeks.Copy !req
228. So if any of you guys want out,
just say the word now.Copy !req
229. I want out.Copy !req
230. Shut up, cartman.Copy !req
231. We're with you, stan.Copy !req
232. Yeah, we can't let those
little baby cows down.Copy !req
233. They've got no one else
to turn to.Copy !req
234. Then it's settled.Copy !req
235. One for all and
all for one, except cartman!Copy !req
236. Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
237. Wait, what?Copy !req
238. And so that's
the situation.Copy !req
239. Our boys have locked
themselves in stan's roomCopy !req
240. Until we can promise them
the calves will live free,Copy !req
241. In writing.Copy !req
242. Well, this is
ridiculous.Copy !req
243. I don't know how you
raise your kids,Copy !req
244. But my son does not play
negotiator with me!Copy !req
245. Well, excuse me, sheila,
but it wasn't that simple.Copy !req
246. Ha! Give me
15 seconds with kyle,Copy !req
247. And I'll have
that door open.Copy !req
248. Kyle, this is
your mother!Copy !req
249. You will open this door
right now!Copy !req
250. No I won't.Copy !req
251. Yes, I see what
you mean, sheila,Copy !req
252. That was very
impressive.Copy !req
253. Kyle, if you don't do
what you're told,Copy !req
254. I'm going to
be very angry!Copy !req
255. Well, you made me
eat vealCopy !req
256. And didn't tell me
what it was!Copy !req
257. So go ahead and be angry,
you baby-Cow-Killing bitch!Copy !req
258. Very persuasive.Copy !req
259. Ahhh!Copy !req
260. Open this door!
Open this door!Copy !req
261. Ho, ho-
Let me try.Copy !req
262. Butters?Copy !req
263. Butters, this is
your father.Copy !req
264. Oh, sweet Jesus!Copy !req
265. What do I do?Copy !req
266. Be strong, butters, you knew
it would come to this.Copy !req
267. Butters, answer me!Copy !req
268. But dad's angry
at me.Copy !req
269. Don't panic, I'll
tell you what to say.Copy !req
270. Butters, right now!Copy !req
271. Dad, uh, why don't you
suck my fat one.Copy !req
272. What?Copy !req
273. Oh, sweet Jesus.Copy !req
274. What's gotten
into them?Copy !req
275. All right, stanly, this
has gone on long enough.Copy !req
276. Your little game
is over!Copy !req
277. This isn't a game, mom.Copy !req
278. We're not coming out until we
know the calves will be safe.Copy !req
279. Well, that's fine, you boys
can just stay in thereCopy !req
280. And starve to death.Copy !req
281. Us parents are going to
go to pizza shackCopy !req
282. And eat pepperoni pizzas
and ice cream.Copy !req
283. Oh, god dammit,
you guys.Copy !req
284. Cartman, stay away
from that door!Copy !req
285. You'll have to come out
sooner or later, boys,Copy !req
286. The longer you wait, the more
trouble you'll be in.Copy !req
287. Aagh!Copy !req
288. Round one is over,
we made it.Copy !req
289. We didn't make it, your
mom is right, douche bag,Copy !req
290. What are we gonna do, stay
in here until we starve?Copy !req
291. Our parents would never let us
starve, they're bluffing.Copy !req
292. This is a battle
of wills.Copy !req
293. If we hold out long enough
they'll give in.Copy !req
294. But we will have to
sleep, dude.Copy !req
295. Three of us can sleep
while one keeps watch.Copy !req
296. We'll shift every
couple of hours.Copy !req
297. Hey, this is gonna be just
like vietnam, huh, fellas?Copy !req
298. Whoopie!Copy !req
299. We'll stay in this room
with these baby cowsCopy !req
300. For as long
as it takes!Copy !req
301. Well, we tried
everything.Copy !req
302. We can't get through the door
without tearing apart the house.Copy !req
303. Dear god, it's been
over 13 hours.Copy !req
304. Ooh, but my poor
little poopsieCopy !req
305. Must be getting
so hungry.Copy !req
306. Maybe we should get them
a little food.Copy !req
307. Miss cartman,
this is a battle of will.Copy !req
308. We need our boys to know that
we're not gonna cave in, at all.Copy !req
309. Oh, all right.Copy !req
310. Let's all just go to bed and
let them play their little gameCopy !req
311. For as long as they can.Copy !req
312. Good night,
fellas!Copy !req
313. Good night.Copy !req
314. Good night, patches.
Good night, halloway.Copy !req
315. Good night, neptune.
Good night, davis.Copy !req
316. Good night, bud.Copy !req
317. Good night, red.
Good night, paulette.Copy !req
318. Good night, chastity.Copy !req
319. Butters, I'm going to kill you
over and over again.Copy !req
320. Can't go on...
need food...Copy !req
321. I didn't realize hunger
made you feel so bad.Copy !req
322. There's only one
alternative, you guys,Copy !req
323. We're gonna have to
eat a calf.Copy !req
324. No, cartman,
we're not eating a calf.Copy !req
325. All right! Then we're gonna
have to eat butters.Copy !req
326. He might be
right, dude.Copy !req
327. Aw, heck.Copy !req
328. Wait, what is that?Copy !req
329. Dude! Food!Copy !req
330. Miss cartman,
what are you doing?Copy !req
331. Ooh, I just can't stand
to see my baby suffer.Copy !req
332. Oh dear god, you've
ruined everything!Copy !req
333. All right!Copy !req
334. See, now we can
hold out for weeks!Copy !req
335. Look, you guys,
beef jerky!Copy !req
336. Yeah!
And fried chicken!Copy !req
337. Wha-?Copy !req
338. Mmm!
Mmm!Copy !req
339. Dude, what are
you guys doing?Copy !req
340. We're eating, dude.Copy !req
341. You're eating meat!Copy !req
342. What the hell do you guys think
we're doing all this for?Copy !req
343. Hey, I'm doing it to
save little baby cows.Copy !req
344. I'm not gonna stop eating
meat all together.Copy !req
345. Me neither.Copy !req
346. Yeah, if you don't
eat meat at allCopy !req
347. You become a pussy.Copy !req
348. That's fine, you guys
can live off of flesh,Copy !req
349. But I'm never eating
meat again.Copy !req
350. Go ahead,
that's more for us.Copy !req
351. You want some
beef jerky, buddy?Copy !req
352. Yes, who's your buddy?Copy !req
353. Who's hungry?
Who's a hungry man?Copy !req
354. Dude,
that's messed up.Copy !req
355. You guys,
check this out!Copy !req
356. Tom, I'm standing in front
of the houseCopy !req
357. Where three insane
boy-TerroristsCopy !req
358. Have barricaded themselves
inside a roomCopy !req
359. With 23 live
infant cattle.Copy !req
360. Hey, look,
some other kidsCopy !req
361. Are doing the
same thing we are!Copy !req
362. Several attempts to
break into the roomCopy !req
363. Have proven
unsuccessful, tom,Copy !req
364. And the crisis
is intensifying.Copy !req
365. Here's what some people
had to say.Copy !req
366. We were just sleepingCopy !req
367. When suddenly we heard
all the commotion.Copy !req
368. I mean, to think this
could happen right hereCopy !req
369. In our own community.Copy !req
370. We gave those kids
everything,Copy !req
371. And they've turned into
little john walkers.Copy !req
372. The police chief of
south park saysCopy !req
373. That there will be no
negotiations with terrorists.Copy !req
374. Oh, no, this is big-Time
trouble now, fellas.Copy !req
375. No, this is exactly
what we wanted.Copy !req
376. It is?
Yes, don't you see?Copy !req
377. This validates everything
that we're doing.Copy !req
378. If we're making the newsCopy !req
379. Then this is obviously
important to people.Copy !req
380. Tom, it looks like
I have an update.Copy !req
381. Yes, it looks like
the boy-Terrorist storyCopy !req
382. Is not interesting news
to anyone.Copy !req
383. Uh, nothing else
was going on, tom,Copy !req
384. So this was the only story we
had to make seem important,Copy !req
385. But people are just
simply tuning out.Copy !req
386. So, hbc will now be
switching programmingCopy !req
387. Once again to "puppies
from around the world!"Copy !req
388. I don't believe it.Copy !req
389. The chinese puppy is
my favorite so far!Copy !req
390. Butters?Copy !req
391. Butters, you have
your arm around me!Copy !req
392. Oh sorry, I thought
you were mr. Pickles.Copy !req
393. What the hell is that?Copy !req
394. Hippies!Copy !req
395. What are they
doing here?Copy !req
396. We're with you, boys!Copy !req
397. Your message is real
and your fight is just!Copy !req
398. Yeah!
Hooray!Copy !req
399. Dude, those gaywads
are on our side?Copy !req
400. Eww,
they're all dirty.Copy !req
401. What did I
tell you, stan?Copy !req
402. We saved some baby cows
from being eatenCopy !req
403. And now we're no good dirty
goddamn hippies!Copy !req
404. Tom, the calf terrorist
standoff continuesCopy !req
405. As now members
of the f.B.I. ArriveCopy !req
406. To put an end
to the conflict.Copy !req
407. Oh, Jesus christ.Copy !req
408. Who's in charge here?Copy !req
409. I am- But I
don't want to be.Copy !req
410. Where's the negotiator?Copy !req
411. Right here- Glen dumont,
negotiator squad.Copy !req
412. All right, see
what you can do.Copy !req
413. Dude, are you okay?Copy !req
414. Oh, I just feel
so run down.Copy !req
415. I don't know what's
wrong with me,Copy !req
416. I've got these sores.Copy !req
417. What is that?Copy !req
418. Dude, maybe we should
end this.Copy !req
419. No!Copy !req
420. Get me a hard line to
the phone in that house.Copy !req
421. The terrorists
already saidCopy !req
422. There's no way
they're coming out.Copy !req
423. Don't worry,
I'm a negotiator,Copy !req
424. It's my job to talk to
freaks like thisCopy !req
425. And bring about
a peaceful resolutionCopy !req
426. Using clever psychology.Copy !req
427. Hello?Copy !req
428. Hello, my name is mike,
I'm a negotiator.Copy !req
429. Is it okay
if I talk to you?Copy !req
430. Uh, hold on.Copy !req
431. It's some negotiator named
mike, what do I do?Copy !req
432. Don't give him anything!Copy !req
433. What do I say?Copy !req
434. Ah, gimme that.
Talk to me, mike.Copy !req
435. I'm here to make sure we can
all end this peacefully.Copy !req
436. You want that, right?Copy !req
437. Sure, sure.Copy !req
438. How about we make a trade,Copy !req
439. Just to show that we can
trust each other.Copy !req
440. What'd you have
in mind?Copy !req
441. Well, how about you send out
one of the calves?Copy !req
442. Oh, mike, you're breaking
my balls here, mike.Copy !req
443. Just one,
that's all we want.Copy !req
444. All right,
how about this?Copy !req
445. You guys have all the leverage
and we have nothing.Copy !req
446. So how about we
give you one calf-Copy !req
447. Cartman, no!
Dude!Copy !req
448. We'll give you one calf
if you'll give usCopy !req
449. Some guns and ammunition
of our own.Copy !req
450. What?
I can't do that!Copy !req
451. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
we were talking here,Copy !req
452. But I guess you're not
talking to me, good-Bye.Copy !req
453. No, no, wait!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Copy !req
454. You're right, what reason
do you have to trust me?Copy !req
455. I'm just a guy from lakewood
trying to make ends meet.Copy !req
456. Just a blue collar guy
like your dad.Copy !req
457. Don't have a dad, mike,
that's not gonna work.Copy !req
458. Oh, all right, some guns,
I'll see what I can do.Copy !req
459. Okay, up a little...Copy !req
460. Left a little...
almost there.Copy !req
461. What is that?Copy !req
462. We're giving the boys
some gunsCopy !req
463. In return for a calf.Copy !req
464. What?Copy !req
465. You're giving
my baby guns?Copy !req
466. Hey, this is a negotiation
process, okay?Copy !req
467. Did you people go to
negotiators' school?Copy !req
468. No, you didn't!Copy !req
469. Get 'im on
the line for me.Copy !req
470. Hello?Copy !req
471. Okay, you see that?
I keep my end of the bargain.Copy !req
472. All right,
we'll keep ours.Copy !req
473. We'll send out one calf.Copy !req
474. Well, how about you
send out two calves?Copy !req
475. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
476. Y'know, there's just no
talking to you, is there, mike?Copy !req
477. We had a deal.
Do you think I'm stupid?Copy !req
478. Don't treat me like
I'm stupid here!Copy !req
479. I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!Copy !req
480. Dammit, I'm losing them!Copy !req
481. Okay, I'm sorry,
just send out one calf.Copy !req
482. Oh, no, no, no-Copy !req
483. Now you're gonna have to
get us something else.Copy !req
484. What'd you have in mind?Copy !req
485. A little to the left.Copy !req
486. Okay, that's good.
A little to the right.Copy !req
487. You're giving them
a missile?Copy !req
488. Stand down, ma'am,
stand down!Copy !req
489. This is a delicate process,
I've almost earned their trust.Copy !req
490. Stan's getting
worse, you guys.Copy !req
491. Mike, babe.Copy !req
492. How we doing?Copy !req
493. We got a real sick
kid here, mike,Copy !req
494. Did you get the other
things for us?Copy !req
495. I did manage
to get the f.D.A.Copy !req
496. To officially change
the word "veal"Copy !req
497. To "tortured baby cow".Copy !req
498. Good, good.Copy !req
499. But I couldn't get you
north and south dakota.Copy !req
500. Oh, mike, breaking
my balls, mike.Copy !req
501. Now, please, can we
get you to come out?Copy !req
502. All right, everything
has worked out.Copy !req
503. The boys have promised
to come outCopy !req
504. And bring the cows out
with them.Copy !req
505. All right!
Woo-Hoo!Copy !req
506. I'm sorry I doubted your
abilities, mr. Negotiator.Copy !req
507. They're
coming out now?Copy !req
508. Yes, all we need
to do in returnCopy !req
509. Is get a cattle-Transporting
semi truckCopy !req
510. That will take the boys
and the cattleCopy !req
511. To denver
international airportCopy !req
512. Where we will have a
fully-Gassed airplaneCopy !req
513. Waiting to take them
all to mexico.Copy !req
514. What?Copy !req
515. And they want the guy that
plays "mr. Worf" on "star trek"Copy !req
516. To drive the truck...
in full makeup.Copy !req
517. Jesus christ!Copy !req
518. All right,
that does it!Copy !req
519. You are, in fact,
the worst negotiatorCopy !req
520. I have ever seen
in action!Copy !req
521. All right, all right,
I'll give you that.Copy !req
522. But in return I want
three staples.Copy !req
523. Get out of here!Copy !req
524. We'll get them the semi,Copy !req
525. And we'll get them the
worf guy from star trek.Copy !req
526. If they see that,
then they'll come outCopy !req
527. And then,
we can take them.Copy !req
528. But isn't that
dishonest?Copy !req
529. Maybe so, but if we don't
do something soonCopy !req
530. There could be 50,
even 60 peopleCopy !req
531. Who have to go without
veal for dinner.Copy !req
532. Are you prepared
to let that happen?Copy !req
533. All right,
where is mr. Dorn?Copy !req
534. I was woken up
at three in morning,Copy !req
535. Told I had to put on makeup
and come to this town.Copy !req
536. What the hell
is going on?Copy !req
537. I'm sorry, mr. Dorn,
it's f.B.I. Business.Copy !req
538. We've got terrorists making
demands and we need your help.Copy !req
539. This is highly unusual.Copy !req
540. All right, boys,
we have your truck.Copy !req
541. And we have an airplane on the
tarmac at denver international.Copy !req
542. And worf?Copy !req
543. My name is
michael dorn,Copy !req
544. I play a character
called worf.Copy !req
545. Stan, it worked!Copy !req
546. It... did?Copy !req
547. They got us a truck and an
airplane and mr. Worf!Copy !req
548. The calves are gonna be okay!Copy !req
549. Pick me up, I...
I want to see.Copy !req
550. Step back, tell those men
to step back!Copy !req
551. Do it!Copy !req
552. All right!Copy !req
553. Ah, shut up,
ya friggin' hippies!Copy !req
554. All right, mr. Worf,Copy !req
555. Start the engine
and put her in gear.Copy !req
556. Oh, and you must refer
to me as "captain".Copy !req
557. Where am I supposed
to drive to?Copy !req
558. No, see, you must say,Copy !req
559. "Captain, where am I
supposed to drive to?"Copy !req
560. Captain, where am I
supposed to drive to?Copy !req
561. You're going to back the truck
up to the door of the houseCopy !req
562. So we can safely
load in the calves.Copy !req
563. This whole thing
is ridiculous.Copy !req
564. "Captain, this whole
thing is ridiculous."Copy !req
565. Captain, this whole
thing is ridiculous.Copy !req
566. Okay, all set!Copy !req
567. Tom, it looks as though
the terroristsCopy !req
568. Are now loading the baby cows
into the back of a semi!Copy !req
569. This is still very
uninteresting news, tom.Copy !req
570. Okay, cartman!Copy !req
571. Step on it,
mr. Worf!Copy !req
572. All right!Copy !req
573. We're going!Copy !req
574. Mexico, here we come!Copy !req
575. Wait a minute,
they're following us!Copy !req
576. Full speed, mr. Worf!Copy !req
577. We cannot keep going fast
on these icy roads!Copy !req
578. "Captain, we cannot keep going
fast on these icy roads."Copy !req
579. Captain, we cannot keep going
fast on these icy roads.Copy !req
580. Alright, mr. Worf,
then reduce speed to 45Copy !req
581. But maintain distance from
those police cruisers.Copy !req
582. Stan, we're
almost there.Copy !req
583. You've got to hold on.Copy !req
584. All right, they're in front
of the cattle ranch.Copy !req
585. Hit it!Copy !req
586. Oh, it's a double-Cross!Copy !req
587. All right, boys,
the game is over.Copy !req
588. Get out of the truck
with your hands up.Copy !req
589. Oh, no, no!Copy !req
590. What are you waiting for?
Go kill them, worf!Copy !req
591. I'm not killing
anybody!Copy !req
592. Some goddamn
klingon you are.Copy !req
593. We're sorry, cows.Copy !req
594. We tried...
we tried.Copy !req
595. All right, boys,Copy !req
596. Just stay right there
until your parents arrive.Copy !req
597. Can I go now?Copy !req
598. Here you go,
mr. Rancher,Copy !req
599. I got your cattle
back for you!Copy !req
600. Oh... well, it
doesn't matter now.Copy !req
601. What do you mean?Copy !req
602. You see, in the six days
since the word "veal"Copy !req
603. Was officially changed to
"little tortured baby cow",Copy !req
604. The market has gone dry.Copy !req
605. Seems when people see
"little tortured baby cow"Copy !req
606. On their menus, they don't
feel like ordering.Copy !req
607. Really?Copy !req
608. Yup, damn things
ain't worth spit now.Copy !req
609. I'll let 'em live outside
with the other cowsCopy !req
610. And live a normal life.Copy !req
611. You hear that, stan?
It worked!Copy !req
612. We've shut down
the veal industry!Copy !req
613. Stan, stan?Copy !req
614. He's very lucky you got
him here when you did.Copy !req
615. He was in a very advanced
state of "vaginitis".Copy !req
616. Vaginitis?Copy !req
617. It occurs when a person
stops eating meat.Copy !req
618. Those sores on his skin were
actually small vaginas.Copy !req
619. If we hadn't
stopped it in time,Copy !req
620. Stand would have
eventually just becomeCopy !req
621. One great big,
giant pussy.Copy !req
622. Whoa, dude.Copy !req
623. We've got an I.V.
Of pure beef bloodCopy !req
624. Pumping into stan's veins,
and the sores are fading.Copy !req
625. Thank god we
stopped it in time.Copy !req
626. Well, I guess we learned
something today.Copy !req
627. It's wrong to eat veal because the
animals are so horribly mistreated,Copy !req
628. But if you don't eat meat at all
you break out in vaginas.Copy !req
629. Hear, hear.Copy !req
630. All right, boys,
it's time to go home.Copy !req
631. You've got some serious
grounding time to start.Copy !req
632. I'll say!Copy !req
633. Aw, we're still
grounded?Copy !req
634. But, but we learned things
and took up a cause.Copy !req
635. Yes, kyle, but you still
defied your parents.Copy !req
636. And you need to learn
that terrorismCopy !req
637. Is never the answer.Copy !req
638. That's right, let's get these
terrorists to their rooms.Copy !req
639. But first- Maybe we can
grab some burgers.Copy !req
640. All right!
All right!Copy !req