1. I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time.Copy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere.Copy !req
3. Humble folks
without temptation.Copy !req
4. Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind.Copy !req
5. Ample parking day or night.Copy !req
6. People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"Copy !req
7. Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind.Copy !req
8. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.Copy !req
9. Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy!Copy !req
10. Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine.Copy !req
11. Okay, children.Copy !req
12. Step off the bus
and form a groupCopy !req
13. next to the nice redneck...
I mean rancher.Copy !req
14. Hello, boys and girls.
My name is Rancher Bob.Copy !req
15. Let's all say hello
to Rancher Bob.Copy !req
16. Hi, Rancher Bob.Copy !req
17. I'm pleased to show you all
the wonderful world of beef.Copy !req
18. Follow me.Copy !req
19. City kids get to go to museums
for field trips.Copy !req
20. We get cow farms.Copy !req
21. Now, out here,
you can see our cattle.Copy !req
22. This is where the magic beginsCopy !req
23. as the cows eat, sleep,
and prepare for certain death.Copy !req
24. They look so delicious.Copy !req
25. Now, here we have
the slaughterhouse.Copy !req
26. This is where we turn the cows
into steaks and burgers!Copy !req
27. Ew!Copy !req
28. Aw, dude!Copy !req
29. Anybody want a free sample?Copy !req
30. Me! Me! Me! Me!Copy !req
31. And in here, boys and girls,
we have our veal ranch.Copy !req
32. You see, with veal, the whole
key is keeping the cows chainedCopy !req
33. so they can't walk around
or get any exercise.Copy !req
34. That way,
their muscle tissue stays softCopy !req
35. and makes for tender veal.Copy !req
36. Wait a minute.
Veal is... little baby cows?Copy !req
37. Yepper!Copy !req
38. Then why the hell
do they call it "veal"?Copy !req
39. Well, if we called it
"little baby cow",Copy !req
40. people might not eat it.Copy !req
41. - Yeah! I wouldn't have!
- Uh, me neither.Copy !req
42. Oh, man!
Look at that one!Copy !req
43. - It looks delicious!
- What?Copy !req
44. Succulent and juicy.Copy !req
45. Can we have a free sample
of these, too?Copy !req
46. Well, no.Copy !req
47. But all these veals are going
to the slaughterhouseCopy !req
48. tomorrow morning.Copy !req
49. They'll be steaks
by the afternoon,Copy !req
50. and then you can buy them
at your grocery store.Copy !req
51. All right!Copy !req
52. Tomorrow morning?Copy !req
53. Dude, we got to help them.Copy !req
54. Yeah.Copy !req
55. Psst! Cartman.Copy !req
56. No! Uncle Jesse!
No!Copy !req
57. Cartman, wake up!Copy !req
58. What? What the hell
are you guys doing?Copy !req
59. - Come on! We got to go!
- Where are we going?Copy !req
60. We're gonna go save
the little baby cows, fat ass.Copy !req
61. What? Why?Copy !req
62. 'Cause they're gonna get
slaughtered tomorrow, butthole!Copy !req
63. So?Copy !req
64. So we can't let 'em die,
douchebag.Copy !req
65. You're our friend.
Now, come help us.Copy !req
66. Well, in the last 3.2 seconds,
you've called me "fat ass",Copy !req
67. "butthole", and "douchebag".Copy !req
68. I really don't feel much
like you guys' friend.Copy !req
69. We're sorry.
You are our friend.Copy !req
70. We need you to help us
because friends stick together.Copy !req
71. Wait.Copy !req
72. I thought you said we needed him
because he hasCopy !req
73. the "Mission: Impossible
Breaking-and-Entering Playset".Copy !req
74. Damn it, Butters.
Will you shut up?Copy !req
75. So you need meCopy !req
76. and my "Mission: Impossible
Breaking-and-Entering Playset".Copy !req
77. Yes, we do.Copy !req
78. We're those little baby cows'
only hope.Copy !req
79. Will you help us?Copy !req
80. Yes.
Yes, I will.Copy !req
81. If Kyle will kiss my black ass.Copy !req
82. What?Copy !req
83. Just give it a little kiss,
and I'll help.Copy !req
84. Screw you, Cartman!Copy !req
85. Okay, but if you want my help,Copy !req
86. you have to give it
just a little kiss.Copy !req
87. Kiss it.Copy !req
88. - Go on, dude. It's the only way.
- No!Copy !req
89. Kiss it.
Come on. Kiss it!Copy !req
90. Just do it really fast,
and we can go.Copy !req
91. - Have Butters kiss it.
- No. It has to be Kyle.Copy !req
92. Oh, man!
That was so awesome!Copy !req
93. Sick!
I felt it on my face!Copy !req
94. Okay. Very funny, Cartman.
Now, come on.Copy !req
95. I'm not going with you.Copy !req
96. - Aah!
- Hey!Copy !req
97. I don't know about this, fellas.Copy !req
98. It says right hereCopy !req
99. on the "Mission: Impossible
Breaking-and-Entering Playset"...Copy !req
100. "Not for actual breaking
and entering.Copy !req
101. Breaking and entering
is a crime."Copy !req
102. Well, killing little helpless
baby cowsCopy !req
103. should be a crime, too.Copy !req
104. How does this thing work,
Cartman?Copy !req
105. Jesus.
Don't you guys have any toys?Copy !req
106. First you put on
the black ski maskCopy !req
107. and use the torch
to cut a hole in the roof.Copy !req
108. Okay.
That's far enough.Copy !req
109. - I'm going to go delta.
- You have to talk louder!Copy !req
110. I forgot the AA batteriesCopy !req
111. for the Super Talk Play-Action
headset.Copy !req
112. I said that's far enough!Copy !req
113. Don't be scared,
little baby cow.Copy !req
114. We're here to set you loose.Copy !req
115. There you go.
You're free!Copy !req
116. Run away!Copy !req
117. Go!
They're gonna murder you!Copy !req
118. Stan, could you hurry it up?
I'm freezing my ass off.Copy !req
119. You need to freeze
some of your ass off.Copy !req
120. At least I have an ass, Jew!Copy !req
121. What?Copy !req
122. Come on, you stupid baby cows!Copy !req
123. You have to get out of here!Copy !req
124. - What's the matter?
- They aren't leaving!Copy !req
125. See? Maybe they want to become
sweet, juicy veal steaks.Copy !req
126. Hey, they've never been allowed
to walk before.Copy !req
127. They just don't know how!Copy !req
128. Oh, yeah.
They're too weak to move.Copy !req
129. We've got to get them
out of here.Copy !req
130. We'll keep them
at Butters' houseCopy !req
131. until they can get
their strength back.Copy !req
132. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
133. I can't bring calves
into my house.Copy !req
134. - I'll get grounded.
- Okay. Fine, Butters.Copy !req
135. I guess you're not
a team player.Copy !req
136. We'll bring them to my house.Copy !req
137. Dude, how are we gonna move
23 calves to your house?Copy !req
138. - I don't know.
- I've got it!Copy !req
139. We could kill ButtersCopy !req
140. and then float the calves
on a river of blood.Copy !req
141. Don't be stupid, Cartman!Copy !req
142. Butters doesn't have
that much blood in him.Copy !req
143. Yeah!
I do too!Copy !req
144. We're just gonna have to
carry them one by one.Copy !req
145. Come on, you guys.Copy !req
146. Check it out, you guys.
I'm calf curling.Copy !req
147. Man, these calves
smell like crap.Copy !req
148. I don't see how you're gonna
hide them much longer.Copy !req
149. We won't have to.Copy !req
150. Butters said he had somethingCopy !req
151. that makes baby cows strong
again.Copy !req
152. He's bringing it over.Copy !req
153. Butters had that at his house?Copy !req
154. Hey, fellas!Copy !req
155. Butters, did you bring it?Copy !req
156. I sure did!Copy !req
157. We'll have those poor
baby cows in shape in no time!Copy !req
158. All right!Copy !req
159. "Suzanne Somers Calf Exerciser".Copy !req
160. What?Copy !req
161. "Makes your calves stronger
in just two days."Copy !req
162. Oh, God damn it!
That's your plan?Copy !req
163. You think it's a gimmick?Copy !req
164. Suzanne promises
right on the box that it works.Copy !req
165. Hello, Mrs. Marsh!Copy !req
166. Officer Barbrady.
What can I do for you?Copy !req
167. Well, we've got
a little problem.Copy !req
168. Jed here caught your boy
and his friendsCopy !req
169. trespassing on his ranch.Copy !req
170. They stole some of his property.Copy !req
171. Stole?
A-Are you sure?Copy !req
172. I followed a calf-curling trail
right to your house, ma'am.Copy !req
173. Ooh, Stan's in trouble!
Let me kick his ass, Mom!Copy !req
174. N-Now, my son is not a thief.Copy !req
175. I'm sure this is just
some kind of misunderstanding.Copy !req
176. Stanley, did you see...Copy !req
177. Oh, crap!Copy !req
178. Stanley, what are you doing
with those calves?Copy !req
179. That asshole was gonna kill them
and feed them to people!Copy !req
180. Stanley, they belong to him.Copy !req
181. They don't belong to anybody!Copy !req
182. Please, Mom!
We don't want these cows to die!Copy !req
183. Let me hit him, Mom!Copy !req
184. Stanley, this isn't up
for discussion.Copy !req
185. The rancher is going to take
his cows back,Copy !req
186. and you don't have a choice.Copy !req
187. Stanley!Copy !req
188. Stanley, open this door right
now, or you're gonna get it!Copy !req
189. No!Copy !req
190. Stan, you're behaving
like a kid.Copy !req
191. You're the ones
who made me eat vealCopy !req
192. without telling me what it was!Copy !req
193. You're the ones who knewCopy !req
194. we were making
little baby animals suffer!Copy !req
195. Open this door now!Copy !req
196. Kiss my ass!Copy !req
197. Oh, geez.
He said "ass" to his parents.Copy !req
198. You're getting in
pretty deep, dude.Copy !req
199. I apologize for this,
Mister rancher person.Copy !req
200. Why don't you just tell them
that the cows will be safe?Copy !req
201. And when they come out,
I can take 'em back.Copy !req
202. I can't lie to my son, okay?Copy !req
203. If I betrayed him like that, I'd
pay for it the rest of my life.Copy !req
204. Well, that's just too bad!Copy !req
205. Look, that's $800
worth of veal up there,Copy !req
206. and I have to ship it out
Friday!Copy !req
207. What are you going to do,
Officer Barbrady?Copy !req
208. Me?
How'd I get into this mess?Copy !req
209. So, what happens now?Copy !req
210. I'm gonna lock myself in here
with these cowsCopy !req
211. until we have a guarantee
of their safety in writing.Copy !req
212. - We're with you, dude.
- Yeah!Copy !req
213. Don't be so sure.Copy !req
214. Because I'm gonna tell you...
This is gonna get ugly.Copy !req
215. Real ugly.Copy !req
216. When all is said and done,
you could all be lookingCopy !req
217. at being grounded for three,
perhaps even four weeks.Copy !req
218. So if any of you guys want out,
just say the word now.Copy !req
219. - I want out.
- Shut up, Cartman.Copy !req
220. - We're with you, Stan.
- Yeah.Copy !req
221. We can't let
those little baby cows down.Copy !req
222. They've got no one else
to turn to.Copy !req
223. Then it's settled.
One for all and all for one!Copy !req
224. Except Cartman.Copy !req
225. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
226. Yeah!
Wait. What?Copy !req
227. And so that's the situation.Copy !req
228. Our boys have locked themselves
in Stan's roomCopy !req
229. until we can promise the calves
will live free, in writing.Copy !req
230. Well, this is ridiculous.Copy !req
231. I don't know how you raise
your kids,Copy !req
232. but my son does not play
negotiator with me!Copy !req
233. Well, excuse me, Sheila,Copy !req
234. but it wasn't that simple.Copy !req
235. Give me 15 seconds with Kyle,
and I'll have that door open.Copy !req
236. Kyle, this is your mother!Copy !req
237. You will open this door
right now!Copy !req
238. No, I won't.Copy !req
239. Yes.
I see what you mean, Sheila.Copy !req
240. That was very impressive.Copy !req
241. Kyle, if you don't do
as you're told,Copy !req
242. I'm going to be very angry!Copy !req
243. Well, you made me eat veal
and didn't tell me what it was!Copy !req
244. So go ahead and be angry,
you baby-cow-killing bitch!Copy !req
245. Very persuasive.Copy !req
246. Aah! Open this door!
Open this door!Copy !req
247. Oh, let... let me try.Copy !req
248. Butters?Copy !req
249. Butters, this is your father.Copy !req
250. Oh, sweet Jesus.
What do I do?Copy !req
251. Be strong, Butters.
You knew it would come to this.Copy !req
252. Butters, answer me.Copy !req
253. But... But Dad's a-angry at me.Copy !req
254. Don't panic.
I'll tell you what to say.Copy !req
255. Butters, right now!Copy !req
256. Dad, uh, why don't you
suck my fat one?Copy !req
257. - What?
- Oh, sweet Jesus.Copy !req
258. - What's gotten into them?
- All right, Stanley.Copy !req
259. This has gone on long enough.
Your little game is over!Copy !req
260. This isn't a game, Mom.Copy !req
261. We're not coming out until we
know the calves will be safe.Copy !req
262. Well, that's fine.Copy !req
263. You boys can just stay in there
and starve to death.Copy !req
264. Us parents are going to go
to Pizza ShackCopy !req
265. and have pepperoni pizzas
and ice cream.Copy !req
266. Oh, God damn it, you guys.Copy !req
267. Cartman, stay away
from that door!Copy !req
268. You'll have to come
out sooner or later, boys.Copy !req
269. The longer you wait,
the more trouble you'll be in.Copy !req
270. Round one is over.
We made it.Copy !req
271. We didn't make it.
Your mom is right, douchebag.Copy !req
272. What are we gonna do,
stay in here until we starve?Copy !req
273. Our parents would never
let us starve.Copy !req
274. They're bluffing.
This is a battle of wills.Copy !req
275. If we hold out long enough,
they'll give in.Copy !req
276. But we will have to sleep, dude.Copy !req
277. Three of us can sleep
while one keeps watch.Copy !req
278. We'll shift
every couple of hours.Copy !req
279. Hey, this is gonna be
just like Vietnam, huh, fellas?Copy !req
280. Whoopie!Copy !req
281. We'll stay in this room
with these baby cowsCopy !req
282. for as long as it takes!Copy !req
283. Well, we tried everything.Copy !req
284. We can't get through the door
without tearing apart the house.Copy !req
285. Dear God!
It's been over 13 hours.Copy !req
286. Oh, but my poor little poopsie
must be getting so hungry.Copy !req
287. Maybe we should get them
a little food.Copy !req
288. Ms. Cartman,
this is a battle of will.Copy !req
289. We need our boys to know that
we're not gonna cave in at all.Copy !req
290. Oh, all right.Copy !req
291. Let's just go to bed and
let them play their little gameCopy !req
292. for as long as they can.Copy !req
293. - Good night, fellas!
- Good night.Copy !req
294. Good night, Patches.
Good night, Halloway.Copy !req
295. Good night, Neptune.
Good night, Davis.Copy !req
296. Good night, Bud.Copy !req
297. Good night, Red.
Good night, Paulette.Copy !req
298. Good night, Chastity.Copy !req
299. Butters, I'm going to kill
you over and over again.Copy !req
300. Can't go on.Copy !req
301. Need... food.Copy !req
302. I didn't realize hunger
made you feel so bad.Copy !req
303. There's only one alternative,
you guys.Copy !req
304. We're gonna have to eat a calf.Copy !req
305. No, Cartman,
we're not eating a calf.Copy !req
306. All right! Then we're gonna
have to eat Butters.Copy !req
307. He might be right, dude.Copy !req
308. Aw, heck.Copy !req
309. Wait.
What is that?Copy !req
310. - Dude!
- Food!Copy !req
311. Ms. Cartman, what are you doing?Copy !req
312. Ooh, I just can't stand
to see my baby suffer.Copy !req
313. Oh, dear God.
You've ruined everything!Copy !req
314. All right!Copy !req
315. See?
Now we can hold out for weeks!Copy !req
316. Look, you guys!
Beef jerky!Copy !req
317. - Yeah! And fried chicken!
- Wha...?Copy !req
318. Dude, what are you guys doing?Copy !req
319. We're eating, dude.Copy !req
320. You're eating meat!Copy !req
321. What the hell do you think
we're doing all this for?Copy !req
322. Hey, I'm doing it
to save little baby cows.Copy !req
323. I'm not gonna stop eating meat
altogether.Copy !req
324. - Me neither.
- Yeah.Copy !req
325. If you don't eat meat at all,
you become a pussy.Copy !req
326. That's fine.
You guys can live off of flesh.Copy !req
327. But I'm never eating meat again.Copy !req
328. Go ahead.
That's more for us.Copy !req
329. You want some beef jerky, buddy?Copy !req
330. Yes.
Who's your buddy?Copy !req
331. Who's hungry?
Who's a hungry man?Copy !req
332. Dude, that's messed up.Copy !req
333. You guys, check this out!Copy !req
334. Tom, I'm standing
in front of the houseCopy !req
335. where four insane boy terrorists
have barricaded themselvesCopy !req
336. inside a room
with 23 live infant cattle.Copy !req
337. Hey, look!Copy !req
338. Some other kids are doing
the same thing we are!Copy !req
339. Several attempts
to break into the roomCopy !req
340. have proven unsuccessful, Tom,
and the crisis is intensifying.Copy !req
341. Here's what some people
had to say.Copy !req
342. We were just sleeping,Copy !req
343. when suddenly we heard
all the commotion.Copy !req
344. I mean, to think
this could happen right hereCopy !req
345. in our own community.Copy !req
346. We gave those kids everything,Copy !req
347. and they turned into
little John Walkers.Copy !req
348. The police chief of South ParkCopy !req
349. says that there will be no
negotiations with terrorists.Copy !req
350. Oh, no. This is big-time
trouble now, fellas.Copy !req
351. No.
This is exactly what we wanted.Copy !req
352. - It is?
- Yes. Don't you see?Copy !req
353. This validates everything
that we're doing.Copy !req
354. If we're making the news,Copy !req
355. this is obviously important
to people.Copy !req
356. Tom, it looks like
I have an update.Copy !req
357. Yes, it looks like
the boy-terrorist storyCopy !req
358. is not interesting news
to anyone.Copy !req
359. Uh, nothing else
was going on, Tom,Copy !req
360. so this was the only story
we had to make seem important,Copy !req
361. but people are just simply
tuning out.Copy !req
362. So HBC will now be
switching programmingCopy !req
363. once again to
"Puppies From Around the World"!Copy !req
364. I don't believe it.Copy !req
365. The Chinese puppy is my favorite
so far!Copy !req
366. Butters?Copy !req
367. B-Butters, you have your arm
around me!Copy !req
368. Oh, sorry.
I thought you were Mr. Pickles.Copy !req
369. We must help the helpless.Copy !req
370. We must save the unsaved.Copy !req
371. What the hell is that?Copy !req
372. For if we fight together.Copy !req
373. We can make sure
the road is paved.Copy !req
374. For a brighter tomorrow...Copy !req
375. - Hippies!
- What are they doing here?Copy !req
376. We are with you, boys!Copy !req
377. Your message is real
and your fight is just!Copy !req
378. Dude, those gaywads
are on our side?Copy !req
379. Ew!
They're all dirty.Copy !req
380. What did I tell you, Stan?Copy !req
381. We saved some baby cows
from being eaten,Copy !req
382. and now we're no-good,
dirty Goddamn hippies!Copy !req
383. Tom, the calf-terrorist standoff continues,Copy !req
384. as now members of the FBI arrive
to put an end to the conflict.Copy !req
385. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
386. Who's in charge here?Copy !req
387. I am.
But I don't want to be.Copy !req
388. Where's the negotiator?Copy !req
389. Right here...
Glen Dumont, negotiator squad.Copy !req
390. All right.
See what you can do.Copy !req
391. - Dude, are you okay?
- Oh, I just feel so run down.Copy !req
392. I don't know what's wrong
with me.Copy !req
393. - I've got these sores.
- What is that?Copy !req
394. - Dude, maybe we should end this.
- No!Copy !req
395. Get me a hard line to the phone
in that house.Copy !req
396. The terrorists already saidCopy !req
397. there's no way
they're coming out.Copy !req
398. Don't worry.
I'm a negotiator.Copy !req
399. It's my job to talk
to freaks like thisCopy !req
400. and bring about
a peaceful resolutionCopy !req
401. using clever psychology.Copy !req
402. Hello?Copy !req
403. Hello. My name is Mike.
I'm a negotiator.Copy !req
404. Is it okay if I talk to you?Copy !req
405. Uh, hold on.
It's some negotiator named Mike.Copy !req
406. - What do I do?
- Don't give him anything!Copy !req
407. - What do I say?
- Aw, give me that.Copy !req
408. Talk to me, Mike.Copy !req
409. I'm here to make sure
we can all end this peacefully.Copy !req
410. You want that, right?Copy !req
411. Sure, sure.Copy !req
412. How about we make a tradeCopy !req
413. just to show
that we can trust each other?Copy !req
414. What'd you have in mind?Copy !req
415. Well, how about you send out
one of the calves?Copy !req
416. Oh, Mike. You're breaking
my balls here, Mike.Copy !req
417. Just one.
That's all we want.Copy !req
418. All right.
How about this?Copy !req
419. You guys have all the leverage,
and we have nothing.Copy !req
420. So how about we give you
one calf...Copy !req
421. - Cartman, no!
- Dude!Copy !req
422. It's cool.Copy !req
423. We'll give you one calf
if you'll give usCopy !req
424. some guns and ammunition
of our own.Copy !req
425. What?
I-I can't do that!Copy !req
426. Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought we were talking here.Copy !req
427. But I guess you're not
talking to me. Goodbye.Copy !req
428. No, no. Wait.
I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
429. Y-You're right. What reason
do you have to trust me?Copy !req
430. I'm just a guy from Lakewood
trying to make ends meet.Copy !req
431. Just a blue-collar guy
like your dad.Copy !req
432. Don't have a dad, Mike.
That's not gonna work.Copy !req
433. Oh. All right. Some guns.
I'll see what I can do.Copy !req
434. Okay.
Up a little.Copy !req
435. Left a little.
Almost there.Copy !req
436. What is that?Copy !req
437. We're giving the boys some guns
in return for a calf.Copy !req
438. - What?
- You're giving my baby guns?Copy !req
439. Hey, this is a negotiation
process, okay?Copy !req
440. Did you people go
to negotiator school?Copy !req
441. No, you didn't!Copy !req
442. Get 'em on the line for me.Copy !req
443. Hello?Copy !req
444. Okay. You see that?
I keep my end of the bargain.Copy !req
445. All right. We'll keep ours.
We'll send out one calf.Copy !req
446. Well, h-how about you send out
two calves?Copy !req
447. Oh, Jesus! There's just no
talking to you, is there, Mike?Copy !req
448. We had a deal.
Do you think I'm stupid?Copy !req
449. Don't treat me
like I'm stupid here!Copy !req
450. I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!Copy !req
451. Damn it!
I'm losing them!Copy !req
452. Okay. I'm sorry.
Just send out one calf.Copy !req
453. Oh, no, no, no. Now you're gonna
have to get us something else.Copy !req
454. What'd you have in mind?Copy !req
455. A little to the left.Copy !req
456. Okay. That's good.
A little to the right.Copy !req
457. You're giving them a missile?Copy !req
458. Stand down, ma'am!
Stand down!Copy !req
459. This is a delicate process.
I've almost earned their trust.Copy !req
460. Stan's getting worse, you guys.Copy !req
461. - Mike. Babe.
- How we doing?Copy !req
462. We got a real sick kid here,
Mike.Copy !req
463. Did you get the other things
for us?Copy !req
464. I-I did manage to get the FDACopy !req
465. to officially change the word
"veal" to "tortured baby cow."Copy !req
466. Good. Good.Copy !req
467. But I couldn't get you
North and South Dakota.Copy !req
468. Oh, Mike.
Breaking my balls, Mike.Copy !req
469. Now... Now, please, can...
Can we get you to come out?Copy !req
470. All right.
Everything has worked out.Copy !req
471. The boys have promised
to come outCopy !req
472. and bring the cows out
with them.Copy !req
473. All right!Copy !req
474. I'm sorry I doubted
your abilities, Mr. Negotiator.Copy !req
475. - They're coming out now?
- Yes.Copy !req
476. All we need to do in return
is getCopy !req
477. a cattle-transporting semitruck
that will take the boysCopy !req
478. and the cattle
to Denver International Airport,Copy !req
479. where we will have
a fully gassed airplaneCopy !req
480. waiting to take them all
to Mexico.Copy !req
481. What?Copy !req
482. And they want the guy that
plays Mr. Worf on "Star Trek"Copy !req
483. to drive the truck...
In full makeup.Copy !req
484. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
485. All right.
That does it!Copy !req
486. You are, in fact,
the worst negotiatorCopy !req
487. I've ever seen in action!Copy !req
488. All right. All right.
I'll give you that.Copy !req
489. But in return,
I want three staples.Copy !req
490. Get out of here!Copy !req
491. We'll get them the semi,Copy !req
492. and we'll get them the Worf guy
from "Star Trek."Copy !req
493. If they see that, they'll come
out, and then we can take them.Copy !req
494. But isn't that dishonest?Copy !req
495. Maybe so.Copy !req
496. But if we don't do something
soon,Copy !req
497. there could be 50,
even 60 peopleCopy !req
498. who'll have to go without veal
for dinner.Copy !req
499. Are you prepared
to let that happen?Copy !req
500. All right.
Where is Mr. Dorn?Copy !req
501. I was woken up
at 3:00 in the morning,Copy !req
502. told I had to put on makeup
and come to this town.Copy !req
503. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
504. I'm sorry, Mr. Dorn.
It's FBI business.Copy !req
505. We've got terrorists making
demands, and we need your help.Copy !req
506. This is highly unusual.Copy !req
507. All right, boys.
We have your truck.Copy !req
508. And we have an airplane on the
tarmac at Denver International.Copy !req
509. And Worf?Copy !req
510. My name is Michael Dorn.
I play a character called Worf.Copy !req
511. Stan, it worked!Copy !req
512. It did?Copy !req
513. They got us a truck
and an airplane and Mr. Worf!Copy !req
514. The calves are gonna be okay!Copy !req
515. Pick me up.
I-I want to see.Copy !req
516. Step back!
Tell those men to step back!Copy !req
517. Do it!Copy !req
518. Aw, shut up,
you friggin' hippies.Copy !req
519. All right, Mr. Worf.Copy !req
520. Start the engine
and put her in gear.Copy !req
521. Oh, and you must refer to me
as "Captain".Copy !req
522. Where am I supposed to drive to?Copy !req
523. No, see, you must say,Copy !req
524. "Captain, where am I supposed to
drive to?"Copy !req
525. Captain, where am I
supposed to drive to?Copy !req
526. You're going to back the truck
up to the doorCopy !req
527. so we can safely load in
the calves.Copy !req
528. This whole thing is ridiculous.Copy !req
529. "Captain, this whole thing
is ridiculous."Copy !req
530. Captain, this whole thing
is ridiculous.Copy !req
531. Okay!
All set!Copy !req
532. Tom, it looks as though the terroristsCopy !req
533. are now loading the baby cows
into the back of a semi.Copy !req
534. This is still
very uninteresting news, Tom.Copy !req
535. Okay, Cartman!Copy !req
536. Step on it, Mr. Worf!Copy !req
537. All right!Copy !req
538. We're going!Copy !req
539. Mexico, here we come!Copy !req
540. Wait a minute.
They're following us!Copy !req
541. Full speed, Mr. Worf!Copy !req
542. We cannot keep going fast
on these icy roads.Copy !req
543. "Captain, we cannot keep
going fast on these icy roads."Copy !req
544. Captain, we cannot keep
going fast on these icy roads.Copy !req
545. All right, Mr. Worf.Copy !req
546. Then reduce speed to 45Copy !req
547. but maintain distance
from those police cruisers.Copy !req
548. Stan, we're almost there.
You've got to hold on.Copy !req
549. All right. They're in front
of the cattle ranch.Copy !req
550. Hit it!Copy !req
551. Oh, it's a double cross!Copy !req
552. All right, boys.
The game is over.Copy !req
553. Get out of the truck
with your hands up.Copy !req
554. Oh, no.
No!Copy !req
555. What are you waiting for?
Go kill them, Worf!Copy !req
556. I'm not killing anybody.Copy !req
557. Some goddamn Klingon you are.Copy !req
558. We're sorry, cows.
We tried. We tried.Copy !req
559. All right, boys.Copy !req
560. Just stay right there
until your parents arrive.Copy !req
561. Can I go now?Copy !req
562. Here you go, Mr. Rancher.
I got your cattle back for you!Copy !req
563. Well, it doesn't matter now.Copy !req
564. What do you mean?Copy !req
565. In the 24 hours
since the word "veal"Copy !req
566. was officially changed
to "little tortured baby cow,"Copy !req
567. the market has gone dry.Copy !req
568. Seems when people see
"little tortured baby cow"Copy !req
569. on their menus,
they don't feel like ordering.Copy !req
570. Really?Copy !req
571. Damn things ain't worth spit
now.Copy !req
572. I'll let 'em live outside
with the other cowsCopy !req
573. and live a normal life.Copy !req
574. You hear that, Stan?
It worked!Copy !req
575. We've shut down
the veal industry!Copy !req
576. Stan?Copy !req
577. Stan?Copy !req
578. He's very lucky you got him here
when you did.Copy !req
579. He was in a very advanced state
of vaginitis.Copy !req
580. Vaginitis?Copy !req
581. It occurs when a person
stops eating meat.Copy !req
582. Those sores on his skin
were actually small vaginas.Copy !req
583. If we hadn't stopped it in time,Copy !req
584. Stan would've eventually
just becomeCopy !req
585. one great big, giant pussy.Copy !req
586. Whoa, dude.Copy !req
587. We've got an I.V.
of pure beef bloodCopy !req
588. pumping into Stan's veins,
and the sores are fading.Copy !req
589. Thank God we stopped it in time.Copy !req
590. Well, I guess
we learned something today.Copy !req
591. It's wrong to eat vealCopy !req
592. because the animals
are so horribly mistreated.Copy !req
593. But if you don't eat meat at
all, you break out in vaginas.Copy !req
594. Hear, hear.Copy !req
595. All right, boys.
It's time to go home.Copy !req
596. You've got some serious
grounding time to start.Copy !req
597. - I'll say!
- Aw, we're still grounded?Copy !req
598. But... But we... we learned
things and took up a cause.Copy !req
599. Yes, Kyle, but you still
defied your parents.Copy !req
600. And you need to learn that
terrorism is never the answer.Copy !req
601. That's right. Let's get
these terrorists to their rooms.Copy !req
602. But first maybe we can grab
some burgers.Copy !req
603. Alright!Copy !req