1. I'm going down to South Park
Gonna have myself a timeCopy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere
Humble folks without temptationCopy !req
3. Going down to South Park
Gonna leave my woes behindCopy !req
4. Ample parking day or night
People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"Copy !req
5. Heading on up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwindCopy !req
6. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy
Timmy, TimmyCopy !req
7. Living a lie, Timmy!Copy !req
8. Come on down to South Park
And meet some friends of mineCopy !req
9. Throw it away, Clyde.Copy !req
10. I'm not gonna touch it,
you throw it away.Copy !req
11. - What's going on?
- Some high schoolersCopy !req
12. left a marijuana cigarette behind.Copy !req
13. We have to throw it away
before some kids find it or something.Copy !req
14. - So throw it away.
- Nobody wants to touch it.Copy !req
15. What if the residue gets on our hands,
and it leads to harder drugsCopy !req
16. like those commercials say?Copy !req
17. Yeah, didn't you see that commercial
where it says if you have potCopy !req
18. - You could become a terrorist?
- And the commercial where the two kidsCopy !req
19. have pot, and the one kid
shoots the other? Harmless?Copy !req
20. You guys, those commercials
are just exaggerations.Copy !req
21. How do you know? None of us have
ever had any drugs before.Copy !req
22. Well, I did ecstasy once.Copy !req
23. Me and my girlfriend took it,
and we stayed up all night having sex.Copy !req
24. Where did you have sex with her?Copy !req
25. In her vagina.Copy !req
26. Thank you, thank you,
what a terrific audience.Copy !req
27. It's just a stupid plant
that makes you dumb.Copy !req
28. - Touching it won't hurt you.
- Then you throw it away, smart-ass.Copy !req
29. Fine, I will.Copy !req
30. There, see? I touched marijuana.
I'm not a terrorist,Copy !req
31. I didn't shoot anybody, and I don't feel
like doing more drugs now.Copy !req
32. No big deal.Copy !req
33. You kids... ing don't... around
with your... ing mom!Copy !req
34. Dad, we... ing can't. The... like a...Copy !req
35. Stan, what did I tell you
about watching The Osbournes?Copy !req
36. - Come on, Mom.
- It's going to make you retarded.Copy !req
37. It's just a show, it doesn't have
any... ing affect on me for... 's sake!Copy !req
38. Goodie, now we can watch the news.Copy !req
39. In other news, South Park police
are still looking for a crazy manCopy !req
40. who terrorized the town one hour ago.Copy !req
41. The man claimed to be from the future
and ran naked through the city streetsCopy !req
42. screaming, "The past, the past!
Oh, my God, it's the past!"Copy !req
43. Which is what one would expect
someone from the future to yell.Copy !req
44. Oh, my God, it's the past!Copy !req
45. - Whoa, man, it's you!
- Who are you?Copy !req
46. It's me, Mom, your son, Stan!Copy !req
47. - Who is it, Sharon?
- Dad!Copy !req
48. Dad? Look, we don't know you,
and you don't know us.Copy !req
49. Just go away before we call the police.Copy !req
50. - Who the... is it, Mom and Dad?
- No way! It's me from the past!Copy !req
51. - I'm me from the past?
- No, I'm you from the future!Copy !req
52. - Man, this is so messed up!
- Okay, we've had enough...Copy !req
53. Your name's Randy Marsh, you're
a geologist, and you don't like chicken.Copy !req
54. Mom, your maiden name is Kimble
and you have a scar on your left kneeCopy !req
55. from when you slipped
at the swimming pool.Copy !req
56. - Randy, what's going on?
- I don't know.Copy !req
57. Dude, just let me talk to you
for like five minutes, after that, I'll bail.Copy !req
58. I can still remember when I was five
and you both found that squirrelCopy !req
59. I'd been keeping in the closet.Copy !req
60. And you let me keep it
for another week, and then it ran away,Copy !req
61. but I know that's just what you told me.
I knew Mom had actually let it out.Copy !req
62. How could he possibly know all that?
Unless, he is our son from the future.Copy !req
63. But, why are you back
in this time with us, Son?Copy !req
64. I have no idea, man,
I was just about to go to sleepCopy !req
65. in an alley behind the crack house.Copy !req
66. I shot up a little heroin,
and then this electrical storm started.Copy !req
67. Next thing I knew I was running around
in my own past, man.Copy !req
68. I thought I was just tripping, but
then I came down and I was still here!Copy !req
69. Dude, it's so bizarre!Copy !req
70. Dude, I should have never
touched that marijuana!Copy !req
71. Stan, whatever's happened,
we're going to help you.Copy !req
72. That's right, we're a family,
no matter what time shift.Copy !req
73. - Thanks, could I get another beer?
- You must be exhausted.Copy !req
74. - Why don't you get some sleep?
- That'd be killer. Where can I crash?Copy !req
75. Well, I'm sure Stan wouldn't mind
sharing his room. Would you, Stan?Copy !req
76. What? I have to share my room
with my future self? Oh, no!Copy !req
77. Here we are face to faceCopy !req
78. My future self and meCopy !req
79. - Stop it.
- So much alikeCopy !req
80. - and yet so different
- No.Copy !req
81. One of us messy, the other one cleanCopy !req
82. Getting along isn't always easy
Sometimes we disagreeCopy !req
83. - Quit it.
- But in the end we knowCopy !req
84. We're good for each other
Two peas in a podCopy !req
85. Future self and me
Future self and meCopy !req
86. Future self and meCopy !req
87. - Hey, guys.
- Hey.Copy !req
88. Whoa, Kyle and Cartman,
it's so cool to see you guys!Copy !req
89. - Who's this asshole?
- This is my future self.Copy !req
90. He came during
the electrical storm last nightCopy !req
91. and is caught in a time matrix.Copy !req
92. - He's me when I'm 32.
- Wow, that's pretty cool.Copy !req
93. - But how does he know our names?
- 'Cause, r-tard,Copy !req
94. he's Stan from the future.
He knows everything Stan knows.Copy !req
95. Wait, Stan becomes this douche bag?Copy !req
96. Yeah, I spent a lot of my teenage years
on a slow, downward spiralCopy !req
97. experimenting with drugs and alcohol.Copy !req
98. - Shut up, Cartman!
- That is so awesome!Copy !req
99. - Thank you, God! Oh, praise God!
- Hey, what happens to me in the future?Copy !req
100. I don't know. You guys stayed away
from drugs, so you were okay.Copy !req
101. I just lost touch with you
after I was sent to juvie hall in 2006.Copy !req
102. Juvie hall!Copy !req
103. - Stan's a loser! Stan's a loser!
- God damn it.Copy !req
104. Thanks for staying after school
and tutoring me, Butters.Copy !req
105. Well, sure thing, Stan,
but how come you careCopy !req
106. - About school work all of a sudden?
- I told you, I can't stand my future self!Copy !req
107. I have to do whatever I can
to not become a loser like him!Copy !req
108. Well, studying is the golden key
to the imposing door of success.Copy !req
109. I just can't stand having my future self
around all the time!Copy !req
110. It's driving me crazy! Maybe
if I get smarter, I won't become himCopy !req
111. - And I won't have to share my room!
- I know what you mean!Copy !req
112. I hate having my future self around, too.Copy !req
113. Yeah, it's like everything I do, he...
Wait a minute, what'd you say?Copy !req
114. I said I know how you feel.Copy !req
115. My life has gone completely downhill
ever since my future self moved in.Copy !req
116. I hate him.
All he ever wants to do is watch Becker,Copy !req
117. and that show is so stupid!Copy !req
118. Dude, how long
has your future self been around?Copy !req
119. I guess it's been
about four months, now.Copy !req
120. Four months?
And you never told anybodyCopy !req
121. that you were living with yourself
from the future?Copy !req
122. - Nobody asked.
- Where's he now?Copy !req
123. Probably watching Becker.Copy !req
124. My name is T. Becker.
The "T" stands for "terrific".Copy !req
125. See, here he is, Future Butters.Copy !req
126. - Future self, this is my good friend...
- Stan! Sure I remember you.Copy !req
127. Yup, wearing
that puffball hat, like always!Copy !req
128. Hello, boys. Future Butters,
it's time to take your liver medicine.Copy !req
129. Liver medicine?Copy !req
130. Yeah, my future self has a bad kidney
from all the drinkingCopy !req
131. he did in high school.
I need to learn to behave myself.Copy !req
132. Hey, where are you going, Stan?Copy !req
133. All right, where is
that son of a bitch's wallet?Copy !req
134. Well, what are you looking for, Stan?Copy !req
135. Butters, don't you think
it's a little bit of a coincidenceCopy !req
136. that both your future self
and my future selfCopy !req
137. got caught in
a matrixanxnal time plane?Copy !req
138. Well, we both got the same teacher
for homeroom, too.Copy !req
139. - You didn't say anything then.
- Here it is.Copy !req
140. There has to be something...
Wait, what's this?Copy !req
141. This expires in 2002.Copy !req
142. - Why would he have this in his wallet?
- I don't follow.Copy !req
143. - 3451 Colfax Avenue. Come on, Butters!
- Are we off on an adventure?Copy !req
144. Here it is, Motivation Corp.Copy !req
145. I don't think we're supposed
to go in there, Stan.Copy !req
146. Maybe we should
go adventuring somewhere else.Copy !req
147. Butters, part of being on an adventure
is you go placesCopy !req
148. - You're not supposed to go.
- You're good at adventuring, huh, Stan?Copy !req
149. What the hell is going on here?Copy !req
150. And it should take about a month
to achieve the results you want.Copy !req
151. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Brooks,
I think you're going to be very pleasedCopy !req
152. - With the results.
- We sure hope so.Copy !req
153. We just don't know how
to talk to our son about drugs.Copy !req
154. Well, now you won't have to! Here he is.Copy !req
155. This is Josh Cashner. He'll be playing
the role of your future son.Copy !req
156. Nice to meet you, "Mom and Dad".Copy !req
157. My goodness,
he does look a little like Kevin!Copy !req
158. Yes, and he knows all your family
history and every detail of your house,Copy !req
159. and he's worked up
quite a future for your son.Copy !req
160. I'm going to tell him
that I dropped out of schoolCopy !req
161. and went to prison for eight years,
where I was sodomized in the ass!Copy !req
162. That should get Kevin
to stay clear of drugs!Copy !req
163. It sure should!Copy !req
164. All right, so we'll put the fake
news report out on Tuesday night.Copy !req
165. Make sure your son is watching
the Channel 4 news.Copy !req
166. And that's when
you'll fake the electrical storm, as well?Copy !req
167. Motivation Corp
takes care of everything.Copy !req
168. Just follow these simple scripts
when your actor arrives.Copy !req
169. "Listen to me, you crazy person!Copy !req
170. "There's no way you can be
from the future!" This is going to be fun!Copy !req
171. - I can't believe it! It's all a scam!
- Yeah, I can't believe it!Copy !req
172. They've all been lying to us
this whole time!Copy !req
173. This whole time!Copy !req
174. I wonder if my future self
knows anything about this?Copy !req
175. Hey, maybe my future self
remembers this happeningCopy !req
176. and can shed some light on the subject.Copy !req
177. Butters, don't you get it?
Those assholes aren't our future selves!Copy !req
178. Our parents hired them
to make us more motivated!Copy !req
179. But then why
did they come back to the past?Copy !req
180. They didn't come back to the past,
you dumb-ass! They're actors!Copy !req
181. - But that's like they're lying.
- It is lying, Butters.Copy !req
182. Your parents lied to you,
and my parents lied to me! Get it?Copy !req
183. That makes me angry!Copy !req
184. Why, if Professor Chaos were here,
he'd make everyone pay!Copy !req
185. - Who's that?
- You know, Professor Chaos,Copy !req
186. - Bringer of destruction and disorder!
- What?Copy !req
187. Follow me back home, Stan.
It's time I let you in on a horrible secret.Copy !req
188. Wait right here, Stan.Copy !req
189. I warn you, you may not like
what you're about to see.Copy !req
190. We have to teach our parents a lesson.Copy !req
191. Show them they can't just play
with our emotions like that!Copy !req
192. Now you know my terrible secret!Copy !req
193. You're gay?Copy !req
194. It's fine if you're gay, Butters.
I don't care.Copy !req
195. No, I'm Professor Chaos...Copy !req
196. But we have to teach our parents
a lesson, Butters! We're running away.Copy !req
197. Help me find the perfect place
to run away to.Copy !req
198. Maybe I used a little too much silver.Copy !req
199. How about this? Winter Park.
That looks kinda nice.Copy !req
200. No, we gotta run away
somewhere warm.Copy !req
201. Well, look at this, Stan.
"Are you sick of your parents?"Copy !req
202. "... for a free consultation.
Results guaranteed."Copy !req
203. Dude, I didn't know there was
such a thing!Copy !req
204. Hey, look, somebody lost their cat.Copy !req
205. Hi, is this the Parental Revenge Centre
of Western America?Copy !req
206. I'm really pissed off at my parentsCopy !req
207. and I want to impose swift
and horrible revenge upon them.Copy !req
208. Look, you can make your wiener bigger
in just three weeks!Copy !req
209. Really? Okay,
where are you located, please?Copy !req
210. Great, can I come by tomorrow?Copy !req
211. This lady will come
and massage your wiener for $95.Copy !req
212. - Well, that's a pretty good deal.
00 is great, thank you.Copy !req
213. That was easy!
I just have to go to their officeCopy !req
214. and they'll help me figure out
how to get back at my parents.Copy !req
215. Hey, I wanna get revenge
on my douche bag parents, too!Copy !req
216. - Fine, then you can come with me.
- Hurray!Copy !req
217. And then we can make our wieners
bigger and have a lady massage them.Copy !req
218. I guess this is it.Copy !req
219. Hello? We're here
about revenge on our parents?Copy !req
220. Yes, come in, please.Copy !req
221. - Cartman?
- Stan, Butters,Copy !req
222. - I didn't know it was you guys.
- What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
223. I'm running a business, Stan.
Are you my 11:00?Copy !req
224. You're the Parental Revenge Centre
of Western America?Copy !req
225. God damn it, I knew this was too good
to be true. Come on, Butters, let's go!Copy !req
226. So you don't want to make your parents
suffer and pay for mistreating you then?Copy !req
227. Look, I don't know
what your parents did to you,Copy !req
228. but if you're here,
I take it they pissed you off pretty good.Copy !req
229. Maybe you should at least
hear what I have to offer?Copy !req
230. I'm sorry, we thought
this was a legitimate business.Copy !req
231. And it is, I assure you.Copy !req
232. I started this business over
three months ago, from the ground up.Copy !req
233. I've been helping children
get back at their parents ever since.Copy !req
234. How many parents have you exacted
revenge upon?Copy !req
235. Craig's and Clyde's.
And Kyle's, but that was a freebie.Copy !req
236. Look, I run a legitimate business here,Copy !req
237. with state-of-the-art computers, charts
and technology. Look around you.Copy !req
238. I know how it feels to be
really, really pissed off at your parents,Copy !req
239. and I will work hard for you.Copy !req
240. Our moms and dads
lied to us about those future selves.Copy !req
241. It was just a trick to get us
to not want to try drugs or alcohol.Copy !req
242. God damn it. See, this is
exactly why I started this business.Copy !req
243. If a parent can't respect their child,
then who can they respect?Copy !req
244. - Yeah!
- Listen, parents understand one thing,Copy !req
245. and that's consequences.Copy !req
246. They need to see consequences
from their actions,Copy !req
247. or else they'll never learn.
What my company does,Copy !req
248. is inflicts those consequences
upon the parentsCopy !req
249. in a very real and very direct way.Copy !req
250. - How much is this going to cost us?
- $18,000.Copy !req
251. How about just 387 easy payments
of $199.95?Copy !req
252. How about five bucks?Copy !req
253. So everything is working out
with your future actor?Copy !req
254. - Your son seems to be responding?
- I think he's pretty scared, all right.Copy !req
255. It's just a little weird
having to keep lying to our boy like this.Copy !req
256. Well, you know
what us ultra-liberals say,Copy !req
257. "When it comes to children and drugs,
lies are okay."Copy !req
258. The ends justify the means.
Well, take smoking for instance.Copy !req
259. The truth is, there's no hard evidence
that secondhand smoke can kill,Copy !req
260. but we believe it's okay to lie about it,
as long as it gets peopleCopy !req
261. - To stop smoking!
- Well, that makes sense.Copy !req
262. So it is with everything
here at Motivation Corp.Copy !req
263. It's okay for us to lie and tell kids
that all marijuana supports terrorism,Copy !req
264. or that one pill of ecstasy
is going to kill them.Copy !req
265. It's not necessarily true,
but the ends justify the means.Copy !req
266. Well, I think when this is all over
our son is gonna thank us.Copy !req
267. Okay, Butters, let's start with you.Copy !req
268. I think I've found a great way
to get revenge on your parents,Copy !req
269. just tell me if I'm going
in the right direction here.Copy !req
270. What we're going to do, Butters,
is we're gonna waitCopy !req
271. for your parents to leave the house
and then smear all the walls with poop.Copy !req
272. That'll make them awful sore!Copy !req
273. Now, I want you to take a look
at some of these poop swatches.Copy !req
274. Poop swatches?Copy !req
275. Poop comes in a lot of varieties,
Butters, I want to findCopy !req
276. the perfect one tailored to your revenge
on your parents.Copy !req
277. - Hey, that's neat-o, huh, Stan?
- Personally, I like the Baby Green,Copy !req
278. but I also think the Classic Brown
would go nicely with your house.Copy !req
279. Wow, you sure are professional, Eric.
I don't know which swatch I like best.Copy !req
280. Well, you know what we could do,
Butters, is go with Baby GreenCopy !req
281. in the living room,
and then maybe a Classic BrownCopy !req
282. or even a Nut n' Corn Crunch
in your parents' bedroom.Copy !req
283. - That sounds good!
- Okay, well, let's do that, then.Copy !req
284. - That'll look nice.
- Hurray.Copy !req
285. All right, now, Stan. For you,
I've put together a really nice design.Copy !req
286. I feel your parents were
a bit more cocky about lying to youCopy !req
287. and your revenge needs to reflect that.Copy !req
288. So what I wanna do is put a note
on your parents' door, telling themCopy !req
289. - I'm the counsellor from the school.
- Yeah?Copy !req
290. The note will inform them
that a problem has come upCopy !req
291. and they need to see me, right away,
back at my office.Copy !req
292. - Yeah?
- Your parents will drive all the way outCopy !req
293. to the school, discovering
that no meeting is actually taking place.Copy !req
294. - Yeah?
- And while they're gone,Copy !req
295. we're gonna smear all their walls
with poop.Copy !req
296. Wow, neat-o!Copy !req
297. - That's not neat-o! That sucks!
- What?Copy !req
298. You're gonna smear
Butters' parents' walls with poop.Copy !req
299. I thought each revenge
was unique and customised.Copy !req
300. Poop smearing is the hot ticket
right now, Stan.Copy !req
301. - Have you seen the poop swatches?
- Dude, that's not extreme enough!Copy !req
302. My parents
aren't going to learn their lessonCopy !req
303. from having some crap smeared
on their walls!Copy !req
304. I want them to see
what they did was wrong.Copy !req
305. I want them to have to admit
that they lied to me!Copy !req
306. Okay, okay, fine, I just...Copy !req
307. My first idea,
that's why we have these consultations.Copy !req
308. Okay, okay, let me see here.
Well, this is nice, how about this?Copy !req
309. We'll lure your parents out of the house
and then we'll kill them.Copy !req
310. We'll cut them up into little pieces
and feed them to a dog.Copy !req
311. - Dude!
- Extreme enough for you?Copy !req
312. - How's Wednesday?
- No, that's too extreme!Copy !req
313. Well, first it's not extreme enough,
and then it's too extreme,Copy !req
314. - Where do you want it?
- Just forget it, Cartman.Copy !req
315. - You don't know what you're doing.
- I am a professional, sir!Copy !req
316. Don't worry, Butters,
you're going to be 100% satisfied.Copy !req
317. - Hey, future self.
- Yes, former self?Copy !req
318. You know that thing that I've kept hiddenCopy !req
319. in the hole in the wall for two years,
that I've never told anybody about?Copy !req
320. You know, the thing that I take out
of the shoe box every nightCopy !req
321. before I go to sleep?Copy !req
322. - You must know what I'm talking about.
- Sure!Copy !req
323. Man, could you all excuse me
for a second?Copy !req
324. I think I'm gonna crap my pants!Copy !req
325. Stan, don't you think
you're upsetting your future self a little?Copy !req
326. Yeah, Stan,
don't be so hard on yourself.Copy !req
327. Mom, Dad, I don't think that guy
is from the future.Copy !req
328. You don't?Copy !req
329. No. You know what I think?
I think this is all an elaborate hoax.Copy !req
330. And I think that whoever is doing it
doesn't have very much respect for me.Copy !req
331. See, the best way
to try to motivate somebody,Copy !req
332. is by being direct with them.
To be honest with them.Copy !req
333. I think the whole future self thing
is a lie,Copy !req
334. and lies are never the right way
to get your message across.Copy !req
335. Well, you know what I think, Stan?Copy !req
336. - What?
- I think he is from the future!Copy !req
337. Yeah, he must be! It's like,
I just feel he's our son, you know?Copy !req
338. Right, that's mother's intuition.
You can't argue with that!Copy !req
339. No, Stan, I think
the only way you're gonna get rid of himCopy !req
340. is by staying clear of drugs and alcohol.Copy !req
341. Right!Copy !req
342. Okay, very nice, very nice. Wait...Copy !req
343. God damn it, Felipe!Copy !req
344. The Classic Brown poop is supposed
to go in the parents' bedroom.Copy !req
345. The living room is supposed to be
all Baby Green poop.Copy !req
346. Carlos, Carlos, no!Copy !req
347. We want a textured effect
on the Nut n' Corn Crunch poop.Copy !req
348. That's why we spackle
with the sponge, see? Spackle gently.Copy !req
349. Gently, see?Copy !req
350. It's so hard to find good help.Copy !req
351. - Butters, like what you're seeing so far?
- Boy, it sure is stinky in here.Copy !req
352. Yeah, well, 300 gallons of poop
isn't gonna smell like a garden, Butters,Copy !req
353. but I think it's coming together real nice.Copy !req
354. Look, Eric, I been thinking.Copy !req
355. My parents are gonna be awful sore,
and I don't think that...Copy !req
356. Yes, well,
then I've done my job, haven't I?Copy !req
357. Pepete, Pepete, no!Copy !req
358. Yes, well, it's hard to find work
in commercials, so I ended up...Copy !req
359. - Stan!
- Dude, how's it going, man?Copy !req
360. Hey, you wanna go upstairs
and play hide-and-go-seek?Copy !req
361. Hide-and-go-seek, huh?Copy !req
362. Yeah, Stan, why don't you go upstairs
and play with yourself?Copy !req
363. I don't believe that he's my future self.Copy !req
364. Yeah, but we can't be sure.
So we better assume he isCopy !req
365. and never try
that first marijuana cigarette.Copy !req
366. No, I actually have a way to be sure.
I'm going to cut off my hand.Copy !req
367. If he is my future self,
then his hand will disappear.Copy !req
368. Stanley, you don't need to do that.
He is your future self!Copy !req
369. - But I have to know for sure.
- Don't be silly, Stan,Copy !req
370. you don't want to go through life
without one of your hands!Copy !req
371. Maybe it's the hand
I smoke that first joint with.Copy !req
372. Here I go. I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
373. - Stan!
- Yes?Copy !req
374. - Nothing, go ahead.
- Randy!Copy !req
375. Oh, my God, look!Copy !req
376. Why, his hand did disappear!Copy !req
377. - He is you from the future!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
378. Jesus Christ, help me!Copy !req
379. That's weird because I didn't
really cut off my hand. It was fake.Copy !req
380. Look, it was fake in the future, too!Copy !req
381. Looks like you better really watch out
for marijuana, huh, Stan?Copy !req
382. Well, Butters, I hope you like the work.Copy !req
383. I'm sure your parents
will be plenty pissed off.Copy !req
384. And after my parents get angry,
how do we get the poop off the walls?Copy !req
385. That's a different company.Copy !req
386. Someone's here.
We better run out the back.Copy !req
387. - Pepete, Carlos, vámonos!
- But, Cartman, wait!Copy !req
388. Oh, Christmas...Copy !req
389. - Butters!
- Oh, Stan!Copy !req
390. Butters, we've got...
Oh, God, it smells in here!Copy !req
391. Yeah, well, 300 gallons of poop
isn't gonna smell like a garden.Copy !req
392. - Butters, we're running away.
- We are?Copy !req
393. Our parents are never gonna admit
what they did was wrongCopy !req
394. and they're never gonna change.Copy !req
395. - What the hell is this?
- Oh, my God, our house!Copy !req
396. - Jeez, I'm gonna get it now.
- Butters!Copy !req
397. - Do you have an explanation for this?
- Well, not really, sir, I just...Copy !req
398. Wait a minute, Chris, don't you see?
This might be our fault.Copy !req
399. My God, you're right, Linda.Copy !req
400. This is what we get
for deceiving our son.Copy !req
401. Butters, listen, the whole
future self thing, well, it was a dirty fib.Copy !req
402. We just so desperately wanted you
to never try drugsCopy !req
403. that we used a big scare tactic
instead of telling you the truth.Copy !req
404. We thought the ends justified
the means, but they don't.Copy !req
405. They just don't, Son!Copy !req
406. We're sorry, baby!Copy !req
407. Get the... outta here.Copy !req
408. Stan, Stan!
Okay, you might be wonderingCopy !req
409. - Why Butters has a future self, too.
- Yes, well, you see, Son,Copy !req
410. the time matrix pulled in more people
from the future...Copy !req
411. Stop it, you guys!
I know all about Motivation Corp!Copy !req
412. All I've been trying to get you guys
to do is admit that you lied to me!Copy !req
413. Well, Son, we've just been trying
to make sureCopy !req
414. you know how dangerous
drugs like pot are.Copy !req
415. I've been told a lot of things about pot,Copy !req
416. but I've come to find out
a lot of those things aren't true!Copy !req
417. - So I don't know what to believe!
- Well, Stan, the truth isCopy !req
418. marijuana probably
isn't going to make you kill peopleCopy !req
419. and it most likely
isn't gonna fund terrorists,Copy !req
420. but, well, Son, pot makes you feel fine
with being bored,Copy !req
421. and it's when you're bored that
you should be learning some new skill,Copy !req
422. or discovering some new science,
or being creative.Copy !req
423. If you smoke pot, you may grow up to
find out that you aren't good at anything.Copy !req
424. I really, really wish you just would have
told me that from the beginning.Copy !req
425. He's right. If we use lies and
exaggerations to keep kids off drugs,Copy !req
426. then they're never going to believe
anything we tell them.Copy !req
427. Well, there's only one person
I can blame. Motivation Corp!Copy !req
428. God! Who smeared crap
all over our walls?Copy !req
429. Jesus, it smells!Copy !req
430. You really did a nice job, Eric.Copy !req
431. Yeah, I gotta admit,
you really came through.Copy !req
432. Thank you.
I thought the Hangover BlackCopy !req
433. - Went really nice in the lobby.
- Well, here, Eric.Copy !req
434. I cooked you a huge box of cookies
as a present.Copy !req
435. Thanks!Copy !req
436. But, you know, all this talk
about future selves has made me thinkCopy !req
437. maybe I should take better care
of myself.Copy !req
438. I mean, maybe I should think
about who I'm going to become.Copy !req
439. Atta boy, Eric!
You made the right choice!Copy !req
440. - Who the hell are you?
- It's me, Cartman!Copy !req
441. You, from the future!
I came back to tell youCopy !req
442. that this is the day you turn it all around!Copy !req
443. You stop eating junk food,
you start studying harder,Copy !req
444. you stay away from drugs and alcohol,Copy !req
445. and you become CEO
of your own time travel company!Copy !req
446. Wow! Really? That's so awesome!Copy !req
447. - Now I'll really work to be successful!
- Right on!Copy !req
448. Go have sex with yourself, asshole!
I'm not that stupid!Copy !req
449. Just for that, I'm gonna spend
my whole childhood eating what I wantCopy !req
450. and doing drugs when I want!Copy !req
451. - Whatever! I do what I want!
- No, wait!Copy !req
452. God damn it!Copy !req