1. I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time.Copy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere.Copy !req
3. Humble folks
without temptation.Copy !req
4. Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind.Copy !req
5. Ample parking day or night.Copy !req
6. People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"Copy !req
7. Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind.Copy !req
8. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.Copy !req
9. Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy!Copy !req
10. Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine.Copy !req
11. Oh! Hello, there, kids.
Welcome to Lolly's candy shop.Copy !req
12. We're the kids whose names
you called on your commercial.Copy !req
13. We're here to do
the shopping spree.Copy !req
14. Oh, that's great!Copy !req
15. You bet your fat clown ass
it is.Copy !req
16. Okay. Well, I'll just need
your ticket stub.Copy !req
17. Ticket stub?Copy !req
18. You know...
When you entered the contest,Copy !req
19. you got the other half
of this ticket.Copy !req
20. Oh, shit!
Who has the ticket stub?Copy !req
21. It was such a long time ago!Copy !req
22. We don't really need
the ticket stub, do we?Copy !req
23. Don't need the ticket stub?
Are you high?Copy !req
24. How else do I know
you're the winners?Copy !req
25. Because our names were called
on the commercial last night.Copy !req
26. Sorry, boys. No ticket stub,
no candy shopping spree.Copy !req
27. If you find it,
you can come back.Copy !req
28. But you only have one week
to claim the prize.Copy !req
29. That's called a ticking clock.
Works great in the movies.Copy !req
30. God damn it!Copy !req
31. - We've got to find that ticket.
- Which one of us took it?Copy !req
32. It was so long ago.
I-I can't remember.Copy !req
33. We've got to focus.
We've got to focus and remember.Copy !req
34. All right!
There you go.Copy !req
35. Hold on
to that ticket stub.Copy !req
36. You'll need it
to claim your prize.Copy !req
37. Sign up for the five-minute
shopping spree!Copy !req
38. You hold on to this, Cartman.
I might lose it.Copy !req
39. No. I'll lose it for sure.
You keep track of it, Kyle.Copy !req
40. Okay.Copy !req
41. N-No. I don't want
that much responsibility.Copy !req
42. Here.
You hold on to it, Kenny.Copy !req
43. Mrph rm.Copy !req
44. Kenny!Copy !req
45. Yes?Copy !req
46. Where's Kenny?Copy !req
47. Uh, boys...
Kenny died last December.Copy !req
48. Don't you remember?Copy !req
49. We know he's dead.
We mean where is his body?Copy !req
50. His body?
But why?Copy !req
51. Because he has
the goddamn ticket for the...Copy !req
52. Look, we just really miss
our friend,Copy !req
53. and, uh, and we need to see
his remains for closure.Copy !req
54. - Yeah. Closure.
- What the fuck is closure?Copy !req
55. Oh, all right, boys.
Come on in.Copy !req
56. We haven't seen you boys
for so long.Copy !req
57. W-We thought you'd forgotten
all about him.Copy !req
58. Here he is, boys.
Our dear little Kenny.Copy !req
59. You turned him into a teapot?Copy !req
60. No.
That's an urn, boys.Copy !req
61. Kenny's inside it.Copy !req
62. Your friends are here
to see you, Kenny.Copy !req
63. They miss you an awful lot,
like we all do.Copy !req
64. T-Thanks for coming by, boys.
It... It means a lot to us.Copy !req
65. Oh, now, honey.Copy !req
66. - Did you get it?
- Hold on.Copy !req
67. I'm checking for robot guards.Copy !req
68. There's not gonna be
any robot guards, retard.Copy !req
69. Just get Kenny.Copy !req
70. You guys piss me off.Copy !req
71. All right!
We made it.Copy !req
72. Kenny better have the
ticket stub with him in there.Copy !req
73. Let him out, Cartman.Copy !req
74. Kenny?Copy !req
75. - Kenny?
- Is he in there?Copy !req
76. I can't see.Copy !req
77. What the hell is this,
chocolate-milk mix?Copy !req
78. I knew Kenny couldn't fit
in that teapot.Copy !req
79. It was a trick!Copy !req
80. God damn it! This isn't even
good chocolate-milk mix!Copy !req
81. Kenny's parents must be laughing
pretty hard about now.Copy !req
82. We were dumb enough to believe.Copy !req
83. Kenny's body could be
in a teapot.Copy !req
84. Why would they play
such a cruel joke on us?Copy !req
85. Because they're poor, Kyle!Copy !req
86. Poor people don't have anything
better to doCopy !req
87. than piss other people off.Copy !req
88. - Don't you watch "Springer"?
- We just have to face it.Copy !req
89. We're not gonna get Kenny back,Copy !req
90. and we're not gonna have
our shopping spree.Copy !req
91. - It's over.
- God damn it!Copy !req
92. There has to be a way!Copy !req
93. Not bad.Copy !req
94. Hurry up, Kenny.
You're gonna be late for school!Copy !req
95. I don't think
that chocolate-milk mixCopy !req
96. agreed with my stomach.Copy !req
97. - Cartman, come on!
- What? What?Copy !req
98. Jesus, you butt-holes!
It's 6:00 in the morning!Copy !req
99. Kyle figured out a way to get
our ticket stub back from Kenny!Copy !req
100. How?Copy !req
101. A ladder to heaven.Copy !req
102. We build it, climb up,Copy !req
103. and get our winning ticket back
from that asshole Kenny.Copy !req
104. Hey, if you boys are building
a clubhouse,Copy !req
105. you should start with the floor.Copy !req
106. We're not building a clubhouse.Copy !req
107. We're building a ladder
to heaven.Copy !req
108. A ladder to heaven?
Why, son?Copy !req
109. Because we want to see Kenny
again.Copy !req
110. Oh.
Oh, that's so sweet.Copy !req
111. That's the s-saddest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
112. Hey, Randy,
can I borrow your, uh...Copy !req
113. What the hell are they doing?Copy !req
114. The boys want to see their
dead friend Kenny again, Jimbo,Copy !req
115. so they're...
building a ladder to heaven.Copy !req
116. Kyle, I think you've bothered
the Marshes enough.Copy !req
117. No.
It's all right, Sheila.Copy !req
118. The boys were just...Copy !req
119. building a ladder to heaven
to see their old friend Kenny.Copy !req
120. A ladder to... Oh.Copy !req
121. Oh, gosh.Copy !req
122. Oh, that's so touching.Copy !req
123. Tom, I'm standing
in South Park, Colorado,Copy !req
124. where last December,Copy !req
125. 8-year-old Kenny McCormick died
of a terminal illness.Copy !req
126. But now that little boy's
three closest friendsCopy !req
127. miss their friend so muchCopy !req
128. that they are building a ladder
to heaven in order to...Copy !req
129. a-a ladder to heaven in order
to try to see him again.Copy !req
130. It's so sad
and yet so beautiful, Tom.Copy !req
131. Here's what some people
had to say.Copy !req
132. Well, our son just said to usCopy !req
133. that he really needed to see his
little friend Kenny again and...Copy !req
134. and that he thought
it would work if he...Copy !req
135. built a ladder to heaven.Copy !req
136. They just believe
in their little heartsCopy !req
137. that it will work.Copy !req
138. We can't tell them it won't.
We just can't!Copy !req
139. It shows how beautiful the
innocence of a child really is.Copy !req
140. A ladder to heaven?
That's fucking stupid.Copy !req
141. These boys symbolize
how we all feel about loss.Copy !req
142. Who are we to tell them
it's impossible?Copy !req
143. Tom, people from all over the...
Sorry.Copy !req
144. People from all over the country
are coming to see the ladder,Copy !req
145. feeling a connection
to its symbolism and beauty.Copy !req
146. Even country singer Alan Jackson
has shown upCopy !req
147. with a song he has written
about the ladder.Copy !req
148. Alan Jackson is, of course,
the man who wrote the song.Copy !req
149. "Where Were You"Copy !req
150. about the tragedies
on September 11th.Copy !req
151. And now he's here once again to
capitalize on people's emotions.Copy !req
152. Let's listen in.Copy !req
153. Where were you when they
built the ladder to heaven?Copy !req
154. Did it make you feel
like cryin'Copy !req
155. Or did you think
it was kinda gay?Copy !req
156. What a beautiful song.Copy !req
157. Well, I, for one, believe
in the ladder to heaven.Copy !req
158. Mm, yeah, yeah, yeahCopy !req
159. 9/11Copy !req
160. I said 9/11Copy !req
161. 9/11, 9/11Copy !req
162. 9, 9, 9Copy !req
163. 11Copy !req
164. Thank you!
I have a new CD outCopy !req
165. with all my 9/11 songs for sale
right here.Copy !req
166. Oh, good! Cartman's back
from the junkyard.Copy !req
167. I found this car seat
in Mr. Garrison's car.Copy !req
168. Mr. Garrison threw away his car?Copy !req
169. No.Copy !req
170. Hurry up, Kenny.
You're gonna be late for school!Copy !req
171. Kenny, do you by chance know
what happened to my Playboys?Copy !req
172. Kenny, answer me!Copy !req
173. Cartman? Cartman!Copy !req
174. W-What? What?Copy !req
175. Dude, what the hell
is wrong with you?Copy !req
176. I don't know.Copy !req
177. It's like my brain just keeps...
jacking off.Copy !req
178. - Maybe you've got brain cancer.
- You think?Copy !req
179. Don't get cancer on the ladder,
Cartman.Copy !req
180. You're gonna fall off
and break it.Copy !req
181. The nation is rallying behind
three sweet boys in ColoradoCopy !req
182. who are building
a ladder to heavenCopy !req
183. to be with their dead friend.Copy !req
184. It's making Americans start
to believe in heaven again.Copy !req
185. When I see how this ladder
has brought people together,Copy !req
186. how... how it has changed
America,Copy !req
187. I mean, how can I not believe?Copy !req
188. Do you actually believe
in the ladder to heaven?Copy !req
189. If heaven is an 8-year-old boy
and the ladder is my penis.Copy !req
190. And the pearly gates are the...Copy !req
191. Pshhhht!Copy !req
192. Uh, meanwhile,
the American economy cont...Copy !req
193. Wait. Wait.
Wait a minute.Copy !req
194. We are getting reports nowCopy !req
195. that Japan is building
their own ladder to heavenCopy !req
196. to compete with the U.S.'s.Copy !req
197. Let's go live to SNN
correspondent Nobu Hirosahsubua.Copy !req
198. This is Nobunaga Hiroichi
reporting live from Tokyo,Copy !req
199. where Japan has started building
its own ladder to heaven.Copy !req
200. Already the Japanese ladder
extend far into spaceCopy !req
201. and is growing by 1,000 miles
every day.Copy !req
202. As the endeavor continues,
it is becoming clearCopy !req
203. that Japan will reach heaven
before the United States.Copy !req
204. Pbht!Copy !req
205. Fah-hu-ra-ha.Copy !req
206. - Fah-hu-ra-ha.
- Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
207. - Fah-hu-ra-ha.
- Excuse me!Copy !req
208. - Fah-hu-ra-ha.
- Uh, we ran out of stuff.Copy !req
209. We ran out of stuff
to build the ladder with.Copy !req
210. Oh, no.Copy !req
211. Oh, Jesus, no.Copy !req
212. Where were you
when they ran out of stuff.Copy !req
213. To build the ladder
to heaven?Copy !req
214. We can keep going, but we need
to start tearing down housesCopy !req
215. - for wood.
- No!Copy !req
216. Uh, look, I think maybe
this has gone far enough.Copy !req
217. Yeah.Copy !req
218. I-It's time we told the boys
the truth...Copy !req
219. That they aren't really
going to get to heaven.Copy !req
220. Wait!
Look!Copy !req
221. We've come to help you beat
those Japs, boys.Copy !req
222. There won't be anyone stoppingCopy !req
223. this great ladder
from being built today!Copy !req
224. Alpha team,
get that support structure up!Copy !req
225. Surveillance team,
get us photos and recon!Copy !req
226. Yes, sir!Copy !req
227. Where were you.Copy !req
228. When they saved
that ladder to heaven?Copy !req
229. Man, I can't believe how muchCopy !req
230. people want us
to get our ticket back.Copy !req
231. Candy shopping sprees have
that effect on people, Kyle.Copy !req
232. You see anything?Copy !req
233. No.Copy !req
234. Hello?
Kenny?Copy !req
235. God?Copy !req
236. Grandma?Copy !req
237. Oh, don't tell me we haven't
even reached the cloud city yet.Copy !req
238. No cloud city.
Not even the giant.Copy !req
239. Heaven must still be
a long way off.Copy !req
240. All right. Look. I didn't
want to have to say this.Copy !req
241. But I think maybe
we're not seeing heavenCopy !req
242. because one of us
doesn't believe in it enough.Copy !req
243. Heaven could be like the pixie
fairies of Bubble Yum forest.Copy !req
244. You only see them
if you really believe in them.Copy !req
245. - What?
- You know.Copy !req
246. Maybe we're not seeing heaven
because one of us is a J-O-O.Copy !req
247. What does me being a Jew
have to do with anything?Copy !req
248. Because Jews don't believe
in heaven!Copy !req
249. Yes, we do!
Just not the Christian heaven!Copy !req
250. Right!Copy !req
251. Your idea of heaven is getting
$5 off your matzo ball soupCopy !req
252. at Barney's Beanery
by lying about a hair in it.Copy !req
253. - Hey, Kenny.
- Hey, Kenny.Copy !req
254. Mrph rmhmhm rm.Copy !req
255. In the ghetto,
in the ghetto.Copy !req
256. He's a boy wearing orange
who's losing his pride.Copy !req
257. 'Cause Kenny
and his whole family reside.Copy !req
258. In the ghetto,
in the ghetto.Copy !req
259. Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rm!Copy !req
260. What did you say?Copy !req
261. Mrph mrph rm
rmhmhm rm mrph rm!Copy !req
262. What did you say?Copy !req
263. I said, "Shut up, Cartman,
you blood-belching vagina!"Copy !req
264. Did I just call myself
a blood-belching vagina?Copy !req
265. Dude, what the hell
is wrong with you?Copy !req
266. I don't know.
I just...Copy !req
267. I keep feeling like I'm Kenny,Copy !req
268. seeing memories
through his eyes.Copy !req
269. You're too fat to be Kenny.Copy !req
270. - You're a... stupid Jew.
- Let's just keep building.Copy !req
271. We only have five more days
until the shopping spree.Copy !req
272. All right.
How's the ladder going, General?Copy !req
273. Are we beating the Japanese?Copy !req
274. Not quite. But we have
a new problem, Mr. President.Copy !req
275. Our recon team on the ladder
just found new evidenceCopy !req
276. of threats from Saddam Hussein.Copy !req
277. Saddam Hussein?
But... we killed him!Copy !req
278. We secretly took him out
months ago.Copy !req
279. Yes, sir, and now we believe
that he's building weaponsCopy !req
280. of mass destruction... in heaven.Copy !req
281. Dear Christ. That son of a bitch
just doesn't stop.Copy !req
282. These surveillance photos
were taken atop the ladderCopy !req
283. of what appears to be heaven.Copy !req
284. Here we see what we believe
to be a missile silo.Copy !req
285. And here we see what looks like
a laboratory of some sortCopy !req
286. for making chemical weapons.Copy !req
287. That kind of looks like
a sea gull.Copy !req
288. Yes. It could be a laboratory
disguised as a sea gull.Copy !req
289. That tricky bastard.Copy !req
290. Sir, you must understand
our fears.Copy !req
291. We must take out
those facilities.Copy !req
292. We must... bomb heaven.Copy !req
293. SNN question of the day...Copy !req
294. Now that Americans believe
in heaven, should we bomb it?Copy !req
295. The polls right now show
that 51% of AmericansCopy !req
296. think Saddam has to be
dealt with,Copy !req
297. while 49% are wimpy,
tree-hugging pussies.Copy !req
298. War is not my voice.Copy !req
299. This country's run by rednecks
and bumpkins with their guns!Copy !req
300. We have to take Saddam out
to protect ourselves.Copy !req
301. I, for one, believeCopy !req
302. that if Saddam Hussein
were an 8-year-old boyCopy !req
303. and my penis were the United
States, then there would...Copy !req
304. Hard nipples!Copy !req
305. God damn it.Copy !req
306. Pshhhht!Copy !req
307. Tom, it's been five days
since three sweet boysCopy !req
308. set out to build a ladder
to heavenCopy !req
309. and captured
the nation's hearts.Copy !req
310. They've made a nation believe
heaven might be up there...Copy !req
311. And it could prove to be
a threat to our country.Copy !req
312. President Bush will seek U.N.
approval for military action.Copy !req
313. Boys, it's really neatCopy !req
314. that you want to see your
old pal Kenny so much, but...Copy !req
315. But it's time for you
to get back to schoolCopy !req
316. and on with your lives.Copy !req
317. No.
We have to see Kenny.Copy !req
318. You have to understandCopy !req
319. that Kenny's body
isn't up in the clouds.Copy !req
320. He was cremated.Copy !req
321. Cremated?
What's that?Copy !req
322. When you die, your body is put
into a broiling ovenCopy !req
323. and cooked
until you're nothing but ashes.Copy !req
324. What?
For God's sakes, why?Copy !req
325. - It's just what some people do.
- Are you gonna burn me?Copy !req
326. Kyle, that's not the issue
right now.Copy !req
327. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
328. A person's ashes
are put into an urn,Copy !req
329. and that's where
Kenny's body is.Copy !req
330. You see, boys, Kenny is in here.Copy !req
331. What the...Copy !req
332. W-Wait a minute!
This is kitty litter!Copy !req
333. All right. All right.Copy !req
334. I drank the chocolate-milk mixCopy !req
335. and replaced it
with kitty litter.Copy !req
336. You what?Copy !req
337. Dude, don't you know
what this means?Copy !req
338. You drank Kenny!Copy !req
339. Shut up.Copy !req
340. You did, dude.
You drank his whole body!Copy !req
341. Shut up.Copy !req
342. Oh, my God! This is awful!Copy !req
343. And disgusting.Copy !req
344. Bad, Eric. Bad.Copy !req
345. That explains it...Copy !req
346. Why I'm having Kenny's memories
all the time.Copy !req
347. His soul is inside me!Copy !req
348. So much for our winning ticket.Copy !req
349. Cartman probably drank that
with the rest of Kenny.Copy !req
350. Yeah.
Good job, fat-ass.Copy !req
351. I can't live like this.Copy !req
352. I-I have to find a placeCopy !req
353. where they remove living souls
from your body.Copy !req
354. Looks like I've come
to the right place.Copy !req
355. - Can I help you?
- Yes. Hello.Copy !req
356. I have a living thing
inside of meCopy !req
357. that I need sucked out, please.Copy !req
358. You'll have to make
an appointment.Copy !req
359. The charge is $230.Copy !req
360. $230?Copy !req
361. I just want you to vacuum him
out of me,Copy !req
362. not put him up in a condominium!Copy !req
363. It's gonna be okay, babe.Copy !req
364. Listen, lady! You got to get
this crap out of me!Copy !req
365. I don't want him in me anymore!Copy !req
366. Just suck him up
and throw him out!Copy !req
367. Oh, Steven,
I can't go through with this.Copy !req
368. I have to keep it!Copy !req
369. Damn it!
Damn it!Copy !req
370. Thanks a lot, kid!Copy !req
371. Kenny... Kenny... Kenny...Copy !req
372. Kenny, Lolly's Candy Land is
giving away a shopping spree!Copy !req
373. We're all gonna pitch in
on an entry... entry...Copy !req
374. All right!
There you go.Copy !req
375. Hold on to that ticket stub...
ticket stub... ticket stub...Copy !req
376. Hold on to this, Cartman.
I might lose it... lose it...Copy !req
377. No.
I'll lose it for sure.Copy !req
378. You keep track of it, Kyle...
of it, Kyle... of it, Kyle.Copy !req
379. Okay. No.Copy !req
380. I don't want that much
responsibility... sibility...Copy !req
381. Here. You hold on to it,
Kenny... Kenny...Copy !req
382. Mrph rm! Mrph rm... mrph rm...Copy !req
383. You better not lose
that ticket, Kenny,Copy !req
384. or else I'll kick you
in the nuts!Copy !req
385. The nuts... the nuts...Copy !req
386. The ticket!Copy !req
387. Kenny didn't have it on him
when he died!Copy !req
388. He put it away somewhere!
Don't you see?Copy !req
389. I can still have
my candy shopping spree!Copy !req
390. Oh, my God!
You guys!Copy !req
391. You guys!Copy !req
392. Ladies and gentlemen
of the U.N.,Copy !req
393. we have evidence
that Saddam Hussein is up thereCopy !req
394. building weapons
of mass destruction.Copy !req
395. We have tried to communicate
with Saddam through a psychicCopy !req
396. to ask him to let us see
his warehouses in heaven,Copy !req
397. but he has not responded.Copy !req
398. Of course he has not responded,
because he's dead!Copy !req
399. Right.
Dead and in heaven.Copy !req
400. This is preposterous!Copy !req
401. Even if there was a heaven,
what makes you think.Copy !req
402. Saddam Hussein's soul
would be sent there?Copy !req
403. Our intelligence tells us when
Saddam was originally killed,Copy !req
404. his soul actually went to hell.Copy !req
405. But while in hell, he began
a homosexual relationshipCopy !req
406. with Satan,
the prince of darkness.Copy !req
407. Satan, however, decidedCopy !req
408. he didn't want to be
with Hussein anymoreCopy !req
409. and broke up with him
around August.Copy !req
410. When Saddam became jealousCopy !req
411. and tried to kill
Satan's new lover, Chris,Copy !req
412. Satan had Saddam sent to heavenCopy !req
413. to live with Mormons
as a punishment.Copy !req
414. Questions?Copy !req
415. Yes?Copy !req
416. Are you high
or just incredibly stupid?Copy !req
417. I assure you I am not high.Copy !req
418. You guys! You guys!
I saw the ticket!Copy !req
419. What do you mean, fat-ass?Copy !req
420. I just had another vision,
you butt-holes.Copy !req
421. Kenny didn't keep
the ticket with him.Copy !req
422. He put it away somewhere!Copy !req
423. - Where?
- I don't know.Copy !req
424. I got conked in the head
down at the abortion clinic,Copy !req
425. and I clearly saw Kenny
putting the ticketCopy !req
426. in a little red box.Copy !req
427. I just have to wait
for another vision to come.Copy !req
428. I could clearly see
through Kenny's... Ahh!Copy !req
429. You see anything?Copy !req
430. Yes, Kyle.Copy !req
431. I see a dead Jew!Copy !req
432. Maybe Kyle's right.Copy !req
433. We got to spark the vision
somehow.Copy !req
434. Not by giving me brain damage!Copy !req
435. Do you want
a candy shopping spree or not?Copy !req
436. All right.
Go ahead.Copy !req
437. No.Copy !req
438. Randy, Gerald, we...
We were wrong about heaven!Copy !req
439. The Japanese just reached it
with their ladder!Copy !req
440. What?Copy !req
441. See for yourself.Copy !req
442. This is Nobunaga Hiroichi
reporting live from heaven.Copy !req
443. The great nation of Japan
reached heaven todayCopy !req
444. about 8:00
Pacific Standard Time.Copy !req
445. Therefore,
heaven is now declaredCopy !req
446. an official part of Japan
because we got here first.Copy !req
447. And now for the weather
in heaven,Copy !req
448. let's go to Natsako Sen.Copy !req
449. Today weather in heaven...
Partly cloudy.Copy !req
450. That's the news from heaven.Copy !req
451. Dame! Dame da!
Bakayarou da!Copy !req
452. Oh, God. And we told our boys
they'd never reach heaven.Copy !req
453. Kids!Copy !req
454. Good.Copy !req
455. As soon as the boys finish
their ladder,Copy !req
456. we'll be ready
to take Saddam out.Copy !req
457. Do you really think
this is a good idea, Randy?Copy !req
458. If Saddam is building weapons,
we have to stop him...Copy !req
459. With our weapons.Copy !req
460. Uh, excuse me, everyone.Copy !req
461. We're not working
on the ladder anymore.Copy !req
462. Thank you.
We're done.Copy !req
463. Dude.Copy !req
464. Not working on the ladder?Copy !req
465. But the Japanese
won't let us use theirs.Copy !req
466. Kenny didn't have the ticket.
It was in his room.Copy !req
467. So we got all our candy,
and you can all go home.Copy !req
468. Wait.Copy !req
469. Are you saying you only wanted
to build a ladder to heavenCopy !req
470. so you could get some candy?Copy !req
471. I've never heard the words
"only" and "candy"Copy !req
472. in the same sentence before.Copy !req
473. But what about your lost friend?Copy !req
474. What about
your fragile innocenceCopy !req
475. and believing
we could all get to heaven?Copy !req
476. Well, people make
us kids believeCopy !req
477. that heaven is this white place
with fluffy clouds and angels.Copy !req
478. But now we think maybe heaven
isn't a place you can get to.Copy !req
479. Maybe heaven is just an idea,Copy !req
480. a frame of mind, or...
Or something gay like that.Copy !req
481. Maybe heaven is this moment
right now.Copy !req
482. So you're saying we should bomb
this moment right now?Copy !req
483. - Right. Johnson!
- Sir!Copy !req
484. No. No.
We shouldn't bomb anybody.Copy !req
485. These boys are right.Copy !req
486. The only heaven we can hope for
is one here on earth... now.Copy !req
487. We should stop waiting
to get into heavenCopy !req
488. and start trying to create it.Copy !req
489. And I was dumb enough to believe.Copy !req
490. Saddam could actually be
up there building bombs.Copy !req
491. Where were you.Copy !req
492. When they decided heaven
was a more intangible idea.Copy !req
493. And couldn't...
You couldn't really get there?Copy !req
494. You little bastards ruined
my latest song!Copy !req
495. Well, I'm sure glad
this is all over with.Copy !req
496. Let's go count our candy.Copy !req
497. Yeah.
But what about Kenny?Copy !req
498. His soul is still
in Cartman's body.Copy !req
499. No, no.
I just drank his memories.Copy !req
500. I'm not sharing my body
with that poor piece of crap.Copy !req
501. Stop calling me poor,
you fat dick!Copy !req
502. Oh, Jesus Christ.Copy !req
503. - Whoa. Kenny, you in there?
- Stop it!Copy !req
504. Where am I, you guys?
Oh, God!Copy !req
505. - Dude, come back here!
- Stop him, Kenny!Copy !req
506. Keep those nitrogen capsules
over there by the warheads.Copy !req
507. Right. Chop-chop.
Come on!Copy !req
508. Saddam, I've been hearing rumorsCopy !req
509. that you're secretly buildingCopy !req
510. weapons of mass destruction
up here.Copy !req
511. Weapons of mass destruction?Copy !req
512. No!Copy !req
513. This is a chocolate-chip
factory. See?Copy !req
514. It looks like
a chemical-weapons plant.Copy !req
515. Look, God.Copy !req
516. If I was gonna secretly build
a chemical-weapons plant,Copy !req
517. I wouldn't make it look like a
chemical-weapons plant, would I?Copy !req
518. I'd make it look likeCopy !req
519. a chocolate-chip factory
or something.Copy !req
520. All right. Just checking.Copy !req
521. Stupid asshole.Copy !req