1. I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time.Copy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere.Copy !req
3. Humble folks
without temptation.Copy !req
4. Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind.Copy !req
5. Ample parking day or night.Copy !req
6. People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!"Copy !req
7. Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind.Copy !req
8. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.Copy !req
9. Timmy, Timmy,
liv-a-la, Timmy!Copy !req
10. Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine.Copy !req
11. And in other news, another
school shooting has taken place,Copy !req
12. this time in Idaho.Copy !req
13. As these kinds of shootings
increase,Copy !req
14. one thing becomes clear...Copy !req
15. Your children are not safe
at school!Copy !req
16. Oh, God!
Change it, change it!Copy !req
17. This was the second time
a terrorist threatCopy !req
18. has been made on a theme park,
leaving everyone to realizeCopy !req
19. that children are not safe
outside!Copy !req
20. Oh, God!
Change it!Copy !req
21. And it seems there is
a new danger to look out for...Copy !req
22. Children who are taken
by strangers.Copy !req
23. The bottom line... children are
not safe in their own homes!Copy !req
24. Tweek, come to the kitchen,
sweetie.Copy !req
25. We need to see you real quick.Copy !req
26. Oh, God!
They're gonna get me.Copy !req
27. Sit down and have some coffee,
son.Copy !req
28. Tweek, there are starting to be
a lot of reports on the newsCopy !req
29. about children being abducted,
and we thought we should talk.Copy !req
30. I-I saw!Copy !req
31. You know never to talk
to strangers, right, Tweek?Copy !req
32. You can't trust anybody.Copy !req
33. Oh, God!Copy !req
34. Now, we don't want to alarm you,
son,Copy !req
35. but we've installed new locks on
your bedroom windows and door.Copy !req
36. It's important for you to know
never to unlock them at nightCopy !req
37. for anyone except your mother
and I.Copy !req
38. Oh, Jesus!
Aah!Copy !req
39. It's just a precaution, sweetie.Copy !req
40. Probably nothing
will ever happen.Copy !req
41. No. No!Copy !req
42. They're gonna get me.Copy !req
43. Oh... Oh, God.
Just a dream.Copy !req
44. Oh, my God!Copy !req
45. Tweek, this is Officer Daniels!Copy !req
46. Now, try and stay calm,Copy !req
47. but we believe an abductor
is in your room!Copy !req
48. Inside my room?
Oh, God!Copy !req
49. Give it up, buddy!
We've got you surrounded!Copy !req
50. Okay, Tweek, I want you
to very calmly, but quickly,Copy !req
51. walk to the door
and come out to us.Copy !req
52. Oh, my God!Copy !req
53. Jesus, see me through this.Copy !req
54. Bang.
You're dead, Tweek.Copy !req
55. What?Copy !req
56. You failed the test, son.Copy !req
57. Didn't I tell you not to open
the door for anybodyCopy !req
58. except your mother and I?Copy !req
59. Oh, God!
Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
60. What if that had been
a child abductorCopy !req
61. pretending to be
a police officer, Tweek?Copy !req
62. He would have sprayed your
brains all over the floorCopy !req
63. and then taken your body
off to the woods.Copy !req
64. You've got to be on your toes,
Tweek.Copy !req
65. All right.
Now go to bed and get some rest.Copy !req
66. Night, pumpkin.Copy !req
67. I hope this movie
doesn't suck ass.Copy !req
68. It will.Copy !req
69. One, please.Copy !req
70. Wait! That's not the usual
ticket-taker guy!Copy !req
71. - So?
- So I don't know him!Copy !req
72. - Dude, relax.
- You relax!Copy !req
73. What if he wants to kill me?Copy !req
74. God. What the hell
do his parents do to him?Copy !req
75. Excuse me. Is this
the right road to Breckenridge?Copy !req
76. Please. I just need to know
if this is South Park.Copy !req
77. Get away from me!Copy !req
78. Could you help me
across the street?Copy !req
79. I don't know you!Copy !req
80. Oh, hey, kid!Copy !req
81. Oh, thank God you happened by!Copy !req
82. My chair ran out of juice
right on these train tracks!Copy !req
83. If you hadn't shown up...Copy !req
84. Oh, anyway,
could you give me a push?Copy !req
85. No. No.
You don't understand.Copy !req
86. I'm... I'm paralyzed
from the neck down.Copy !req
87. I push the chair with this
device in front of my mouth,Copy !req
88. but it's not working,
so you see...Copy !req
89. I'm not supposed to talk to you!Copy !req
90. Please.
This... This isn't funny, kid.Copy !req
91. - You have to help me!
- But it could be a trick!Copy !req
92. That's a pretty good trick.Copy !req
93. Relax, Tweek.
I am not here to hurt you.Copy !req
94. I am the ghost
of human kindness.Copy !req
95. The ghost of human kindness?Copy !req
96. You have never seen
the likes of me before.Copy !req
97. What do you want?Copy !req
98. You have lost faith
in humanity, lad,Copy !req
99. something I cannot bear
to see happen.Copy !req
100. Uh, how can I help it?Copy !req
101. It seems like everywhere I turn,
someone is out to get me!Copy !req
102. That is the world
that the news reports.Copy !req
103. It is the world that adults
preoccupy themselves with.Copy !req
104. But it is not the world
as it is.Copy !req
105. It isn't?Copy !req
106. Look here, Tweek.Copy !req
107. This woman is on her way
to the retirement home.Copy !req
108. She doesn't get paid.Copy !req
109. She volunteers her time to talk
with lonely elderly peopleCopy !req
110. who want nothing more
than a friend.Copy !req
111. But do you hear about her
on the news?Copy !req
112. No.Copy !req
113. Now gaze upon this humble house,
Tweek.Copy !req
114. Inside, there are two people
who have adopted needy children.Copy !req
115. They were strangers
to those kids once.Copy !req
116. Now they are loving parents.Copy !req
117. Now look here, boy.Copy !req
118. A car has broken down
with a flat tire,Copy !req
119. and two complete strangers
have stopped to help.Copy !req
120. Will their kindness be reported
on the news tomorrow?Copy !req
121. I think not.Copy !req
122. Are you starting to understand,
boy?Copy !req
123. I think so.Copy !req
124. You mean that even though
all the news is about murderersCopy !req
125. and abductors,
those kind of peopleCopy !req
126. only make up a very small part
of the world.Copy !req
127. That's right, lad.Copy !req
128. So do you think you can learn
to trust people now?Copy !req
129. I'll try.Copy !req
130. Good.Copy !req
131. Then why don't you get
into the back of my van,Copy !req
132. and I'll drive you home?Copy !req
133. Your van?Copy !req
134. All right, Johnson!
Give it up!Copy !req
135. Damn, damn, damn, damn!Copy !req
136. Oh, I was so close!Copy !req
137. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
138. Tweek!
Tweek, are you okay?Copy !req
139. - Did he hurt you, son?
- No!Copy !req
140. Then we aren't too late.
His name is Frederick Johnson.Copy !req
141. He's been abducting children
by dressing upCopy !req
142. like the ghost of human kindness
for over a year now.Copy !req
143. And I would have gotten away
with it againCopy !req
144. if it weren't for you
meddling policemen!Copy !req
145. What's going on?Copy !req
146. A stranger was caught trying to
abduct the Tweek boy!Copy !req
147. An abductor in our town?Copy !req
148. Oh, my God.
What are we gonna do?Copy !req
149. Rabble! Rabble!
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!Copy !req
150. People, people, calm down.Copy !req
151. Well, what are we gonna do,
Mayor?Copy !req
152. We have to stop these abductorsCopy !req
153. from being able to get
into our town!Copy !req
154. Rabble! Rabble!
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!Copy !req
155. Yes, but standing out here
yelling,Copy !req
156. "Rabble, rabble, rabble"
isn't going to help anything.Copy !req
157. But we don't know
what else to do, Mayor!Copy !req
158. Rabble! Rabble!
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!Copy !req
159. Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!Copy !req
160. People, what do you think
we need to do?Copy !req
161. Uh... well, we need to find a wayCopy !req
162. to close our town off
from unwanted strangers!Copy !req
163. Yes. We need a barrier
to protect our kids!Copy !req
164. Rabble! Rabble!
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!Copy !req
165. Wait.
That's it... a wall.Copy !req
166. We could build a huge city wall
all around South ParkCopy !req
167. so that we have complete control
over who comes in.Copy !req
168. That's not a bad idea...
A city wall.Copy !req
169. But who can we get to build it?Copy !req
170. And so we want you to design
and buildCopy !req
171. a great wall
all around the city.Copy !req
172. I don't build wall!Copy !req
173. I just own and operate
Chitty Wok!Copy !req
174. We just think you're the best
person to put up a wall.Copy !req
175. We're sure you've got it
in your blood.Copy !req
176. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
177. Just because I Chinese,
you think I build a wall!Copy !req
178. That is bullshit!Copy !req
179. I'm not a stereotype, okay?Copy !req
180. Just because I Chinese doesn't
mean I go around building wall!Copy !req
181. I'm just a normal person
like all of you.Copy !req
182. I eat rice and drive really slow
just like the rest of you!Copy !req
183. I'm not a stereotype!Copy !req
184. Please, Mr. Tuong Lu Kim.Copy !req
185. Your ancestors put up
a great wallCopy !req
186. that kept Mongolians out
for thousands of years.Copy !req
187. We know you can do it for us.Copy !req
188. Hey.
Hey, hey!Copy !req
189. Hey, what the hell you doing?Copy !req
190. Mongolian?Copy !req
191. What the hell Mongolian doing
here?Copy !req
192. Hey, fuck you, Mongolian!
Don't you break down my wall!Copy !req
193. Get out of here!
Fucking Mongolian!Copy !req
194. God damn it.Copy !req
195. How come every time
us Chinese put up a wall,Copy !req
196. stupid Mongolians have to come
and knock it down?Copy !req
197. Stan, our abduction problems
are over.Copy !req
198. We got the new child tracker.Copy !req
199. Child tracker?Copy !req
200. It's a little electrical deviceCopy !req
201. that can tell us where you are
anywhere on Earth.Copy !req
202. If anybody takes you,
we'll be able to locateCopy !req
203. your exact location
within two meters.Copy !req
204. There.
I think that's got it.Copy !req
205. Dude, no way.
I'm not wearing child tracker.Copy !req
206. You can barely even tell
you have one on.Copy !req
207. I'm not going to school
like this!Copy !req
208. - What will the other guys say?
- I wouldn't worry about that.Copy !req
209. So weak.Copy !req
210. So weak, dude.
Man.Copy !req
211. Why did you have to go
and be abducted, Tweek?Copy !req
212. Now all our parents
are freaking out.Copy !req
213. I didn't mean to!Copy !req
214. Okay.
Finally.Copy !req
215. Oh, no.Copy !req
216. It's those goddamn Mongolian
again!Copy !req
217. Stop!
Stop right there, Mongolian!Copy !req
218. God damn it!
Stop!Copy !req
219. Stop breaking down my chitty
wall, you stupid Mongolian!Copy !req
220. All right, you sons of bitches!
You...Copy !req
221. What the hell?Copy !req
222. Oh, shit!Copy !req
223. Goddamn Mongolian!Copy !req
224. I gonna get you!
Fucking Mongolian!Copy !req
225. Stop breaking my chitty wall!Copy !req
226. Oh, God damn it!Copy !req
227. That's the last time you gonna
break down my chitty wall!Copy !req
228. You hear me, Mongolian?Copy !req
229. Goddamn Mongolians.Copy !req
230. All right, Cows.Copy !req
231. We're gonna go out there
and we're gonna give 'em hell!Copy !req
232. But wait.
Where's the other team?Copy !req
233. There is no other team.Copy !req
234. Well, we put a wall around
the city to keep outsiders out.Copy !req
235. You don't think we want
a bunch of strangersCopy !req
236. coming in and playing ball,
do you?Copy !req
237. But if there's no other team,
that won't be any fun.Copy !req
238. Don't worry.
It'll still be fun for us.Copy !req
239. Go, Cows! Go, Cows!Copy !req
240. Go, Cows!
Go, Cows!Copy !req
241. Play ball!Copy !req
242. Steeeee-rike!Copy !req
243. South Park Cows do it again!Copy !req
244. Congratulations on your victory,
boys.Copy !req
245. Dude, we weren't playing
anybody!Copy !req
246. Yeah, and you kicked ass!Copy !req
247. Isn't it awesome having
a great wall around our city?Copy !req
248. Nobody in town
except for our good friends!Copy !req
249. Great wall! Great wall!Copy !req
250. Hey, shh!
Quiet, everybody!Copy !req
251. And this newest study reveals
more about child abductionsCopy !req
252. than we apparently knew before,
Tom.Copy !req
253. - Turn it up.
- That's right, Chris.Copy !req
254. This newest study shows that
the majority of child abductionsCopy !req
255. are not committed by strangers,Copy !req
256. but by somebody the child knows
in their own town!Copy !req
257. The report further statesCopy !req
258. that it is because the child
trusts the individualCopy !req
259. that problems occur
in the first place.Copy !req
260. Well, I guess this meansCopy !req
261. the enemy is in our own
backyard, so to speak.Copy !req
262. Sure does, Tom.Copy !req
263. All right. Thanks, Chris.
Is the weather going to turn...Copy !req
264. Well, if you'll excuse us,
I think we'll be going now.Copy !req
265. Yeah.
Come along, Kyle.Copy !req
266. Stanley, time for us
to get back to the house.Copy !req
267. - I'm not done with my pizza.
- Now, Stanley!Copy !req
268. There we go.
All finished.Copy !req
269. My Mongolian
missile-defense system.Copy !req
270. Those Mongolians try to break
down my chitty wall again,Copy !req
271. they gonna get a big,
heat-seeking missile surprise!Copy !req
272. Hello, Mongolian! Yeah.Copy !req
273. You come to break down
my chitty wall?Copy !req
274. Oh, you gonna throw
that baseball at my wall?Copy !req
275. Oh, no. Not a baseball.
I'm pretty scared.Copy !req
276. Well, you know what?Copy !req
277. I might have something hereCopy !req
278. that's a little bigger
than a baseball!Copy !req
279. Say hello to my little friend!Copy !req
280. Oh, crap.Copy !req
281. Goddamn Mongolian!Copy !req
282. You break down my chitty wall
last time!Copy !req
283. Dude, this is worse
than child tracker.Copy !req
284. It's okay, boys.
Just act as if we weren't here.Copy !req
285. Right.
Do what you normally would do.Copy !req
286. You're such a fat-ass, Cartman.Copy !req
287. At least I'm not a stupid Jew.Copy !req
288. Wha-Wha-What?Copy !req
289. M'kay, kids.Copy !req
290. So now who can tell meCopy !req
291. what year the first moon landing
took place?Copy !req
292. Uh, how about you, Clyde?Copy !req
293. No helping.Copy !req
294. M'kay, I'm not really sure
having all the parents hereCopy !req
295. is a good idea, m'kay?Copy !req
296. Well, maybe things
would be betterCopy !req
297. if we could trust people
like the Stotches!Copy !req
298. Us? Your family has always been
the shifty-eyed ones!Copy !req
299. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
300. Oh, this is too much to take.Copy !req
301. Mom, Dad, could you
please leave me alone?Copy !req
302. We just want to make sure
nobody hurts you, junior, m'kay?Copy !req
303. M'kay.Copy !req
304. My master plan!Copy !req
305. When those Mongolians come
next time,Copy !req
306. I pour this sweet-and-sour pork
on their heads.Copy !req
307. Sweet-and-sour pork
so hot and sticky,Copy !req
308. Mongolians will stick right
to the wall and scream, "Ooh!"Copy !req
309. I can't wait.Copy !req
310. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
311. A Trojan Mongolian horse.Copy !req
312. Mongolians are hiding insideCopy !req
313. thinking that I'll bring it
in the chitty wall.Copy !req
314. Then Mongolians pop out
and destroy wall from inside outCopy !req
315. without getting sweet-and-sour
pork on their head!Copy !req
316. Okay.
I'll play along.Copy !req
317. Oh!
Oh, look!Copy !req
318. Look. My very own
Mongolian Trojan horse.Copy !req
319. Gee, what a surprise.Copy !req
320. I guess Mongolians aren't such
crappy, smelly people after all.Copy !req
321. Yeah.Copy !req
322. Great.Copy !req
323. Yeah, what a great present.Copy !req
324. I just gonna push it
inside the gateCopy !req
325. and show it to all my friends.Copy !req
326. It's sweet-and-sour pork!Copy !req
327. I'm gonna get you MongoliansCopy !req
328. if it's the last thing I do!Copy !req
329. And so all the residents
of ManhattanCopy !req
330. are prepared to evacuateCopy !req
331. if Ms. Clinton's ass
gets any bigger.Copy !req
332. And in other news,Copy !req
333. new findings on the increase
in child abductions.Copy !req
334. Oh, Jesus.
Turn it up, honey.Copy !req
335. The study shows that the most
likely abductors of childrenCopy !req
336. are the parents themselves!Copy !req
337. The study reveals that 9
out of every 10 abduction casesCopy !req
338. are committed by the child's
mother or father.Copy !req
339. The bottom line being that
your children aren't safe...Copy !req
340. Even from you!Copy !req
341. Where are you going?Copy !req
342. I'm just going to go upstairsCopy !req
343. and see if Tweek
is still in his bed.Copy !req
344. I think I'll go with you.Copy !req
345. It's okay.
I can do it.Copy !req
346. I just want to make sure that
you...Copy !req
347. That I don't abduct him?Copy !req
348. How do I know that you
haven't done it already?Copy !req
349. Me?
I would never abduct our son!Copy !req
350. That's not what
the new study says!Copy !req
351. But what are we supposed to do?Copy !req
352. How can we protect Tweek
from ourselves?Copy !req
353. Here you go, Stanley.Copy !req
354. This should hold you over
for three years.Copy !req
355. But why do I have to leave?Copy !req
356. The news says that at your age
you aren't safe with us, son.Copy !req
357. You have to get out of here
before we abduct you.Copy !req
358. Goodbye, son.
Remember to eat right.Copy !req
359. Look out for your brother, Kyle.
You're the man now.Copy !req
360. Oh, boys, don't ever forget
that we love you!Copy !req
361. Be careful out there!Copy !req
362. Where are we supposed to go?Copy !req
363. We can't tell you because
we can't know where you are!Copy !req
364. Oh, this is terrible!Copy !req
365. Go on, kids!
Go!Copy !req
366. Go and don't look back!Copy !req
367. Goodbye, kids.
We'll never forget you.Copy !req
368. Dude, sometimes I think
our parents are really stupid.Copy !req
369. Hey, dog.Copy !req
370. Over here.
Over here, dog.Copy !req
371. Got some sweet-and-sour for you.Copy !req
372. Good dog!Copy !req
373. That's it!
Keep licking, dog!Copy !req
374. I'm free, Mongolians!Copy !req
375. And now I'm going to
make you pay!Copy !req
376. Finally, some good news tonight.Copy !req
377. It's been several daysCopy !req
378. since any child abductions
have taken place.Copy !req
379. The main reason... parents don't
know where their children are.Copy !req
380. What's the matter?Copy !req
381. Oh, it's just...
I was wondering if Stan's okay.Copy !req
382. Oh, I'm sure he's made it
somewhere safe by now.Copy !req
383. Do you really think we did
the right thing, Randy,Copy !req
384. sending all the young kids in
town off to live on their own?Copy !req
385. - Sweetheart, you saw the news.
- I know.Copy !req
386. Don't you worry.Copy !req
387. I'm sure that Stan
and all the other kidsCopy !req
388. are somewhere safe,
off in a whole new city by now,Copy !req
389. making a new life
for themselves.Copy !req
390. Tah tane da ke ab
kahleh kalabush.Copy !req
391. Bi ologad bag, big nan dastai.Copy !req
392. De bandig baeakhalah?Copy !req
393. Tawya mea pleda cleah bleah.Copy !req
394. Triben fak burushban.Copy !req
395. Shain balag!Copy !req
396. All right, Mongolians!Copy !req
397. Your only way through this wall
is through me!Copy !req
398. This is my last stand!Copy !req
399. I'm gonna do my war dance now.Copy !req
400. Does my war dance scare you,
Mongolians?Copy !req
401. Yeah, you think you want
a piece of this?Copy !req
402. This is the ancient
Chinese dance of...Copy !req
403. Oh, hello, kids.Copy !req
404. Be careful.
There's Mongolians up there.Copy !req
405. Oh, crap.Copy !req
406. - What's going on?
- I heard an explosion!Copy !req
407. Goddamn Mongolians attack
chitty wall again!Copy !req
408. Mongolians?Copy !req
409. What the hell
are they doing here?Copy !req
410. Rabble!
Rabble, rabble!Copy !req
411. Rabble! Rabble!
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!Copy !req
412. Wait a minute.Copy !req
413. Those Mongolians are...
our children.Copy !req
414. Ike?
Kyle?Copy !req
415. My son has become a Mongolian?Copy !req
416. No!
No!Copy !req
417. Oh, God.
What have we done?Copy !req
418. We sent our children away,Copy !req
419. and now they don't even remember
who they are.Copy !req
420. Kids, don't you remember us?Copy !req
421. Wait, wait. I learned
some Mongolian in college.Copy !req
422. Uh, let's see.Copy !req
423. Uh, kids, uh... bi kute.Copy !req
424. Bi sonik kute.Copy !req
425. Tod kasbara...Copy !req
426. Oh, my God.
Our parents are so stupid, dude.Copy !req
427. Bi kute.Copy !req
428. We are your parents.Copy !req
429. You used to live here with us.Copy !req
430. Yeah!
It was like four days ago!Copy !req
431. They're starting to remember!Copy !req
432. Stan.Copy !req
433. Your name is Stan.Copy !req
434. Stan Marsh.Copy !req
435. That's it!
Remember, son!Copy !req
436. Remember!Copy !req
437. We're sorry, Tweek!Copy !req
438. Are you okay, Clyde?Copy !req
439. Oh, son,
can you ever forgive us?Copy !req
440. Uh, I'm over here, Dad.Copy !req
441. We're sorry, kids.Copy !req
442. We just let all those
sensationalist news reportsCopy !req
443. go to our heads!Copy !req
444. Oh, my God.
Do you see what this means?Copy !req
445. The ghost of human kindness
was right all along.Copy !req
446. You mean how he said
we should trust each otherCopy !req
447. or how he abducted children?Copy !req
448. The, uh... No, no.Copy !req
449. The part about being
more trusting.Copy !req
450. We should follow what he said,
not what he did.Copy !req
451. - Yeah!
- Oh. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
452. No, no. You know
who was right all along?Copy !req
453. The Mongolians.Copy !req
454. They knew that you can't
just wall yourself offCopy !req
455. from the outside world.Copy !req
456. Putting walls up
never helps anything.Copy !req
457. Tearing them down
brings us together.Copy !req
458. - Oh!
- Right.Copy !req
459. Yeah, the Mongolians were right.
Yeah.Copy !req
460. Oh, you better not say
what I think you gonna say.Copy !req
461. Mr. Lu Kim, tear down this wall!Copy !req
462. Oh, God!
I hate this whole chitty!Copy !req
463. Randy, can we just
take our son home now?Copy !req
464. Yes.
Kids, with us, now come.Copy !req
465. Home.Copy !req
466. Home.Copy !req
467. Jesus Christ, dude.Copy !req
468. They've done some stupid crap
before, but Jesus Christ.Copy !req
469. I gonna get you!
Fucking Mongolian!Copy !req