1. I'm going down to South Park
Gonna have myself a timeCopy !req
2. Friendly faces everywhere
Humble folks without temptationCopy !req
3. Going down to South Park
Gonna leave my woes behindCopy !req
4. Ample parking day or night
People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"Copy !req
5. I'm heading on up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwindCopy !req
6. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy
Timmy, TimmyCopy !req
7. Living a lie, Timmy!Copy !req
8. Come on down to South Park
And meet some friends of mineCopy !req
9. And in other news,Copy !req
10. another school shooting has
taken place, this time in Idaho.Copy !req
11. As these kinds of shootings increase,
one thing becomes clear.Copy !req
12. Your children are not safe at school!Copy !req
13. Oh, God! Change it! Change it!Copy !req
14. This was the second time
a terrorist threat has been madeCopy !req
15. on a theme park,Copy !req
16. leaving everyone to realise
that children are not safe outside!Copy !req
17. Oh, God! Change it!Copy !req
18. And it seems there is
a new danger to look out for.Copy !req
19. Children who are taken by strangers!Copy !req
20. The bottom line, children are not safe
in their own homes!Copy !req
21. Tweek! Come to the kitchen, sweetie,
we need to see you real quick.Copy !req
22. Oh, God, they're gonna get me.Copy !req
23. Sit down and have some coffee, Son.Copy !req
24. Tweek, there are starting to be
a lot of reportsCopy !req
25. on the news about children
being abducted,Copy !req
26. and we thought we should talk.Copy !req
27. I saw!Copy !req
28. You know never to talk
to strangers, right, Tweek?Copy !req
29. You can't trust anybody.Copy !req
30. Oh, God!Copy !req
31. Now, we don't want to alarm you, Son,Copy !req
32. but we've installed new locks on
your bedroom windows and door.Copy !req
33. It's important for you to know never
to unlock them at night for anyone,Copy !req
34. except your mother and I.Copy !req
35. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
36. It's just a precaution, sweetie.Copy !req
37. Probably nothing will ever happen.Copy !req
38. No! No! They're gonna get me.Copy !req
39. Oh, God.Copy !req
40. Just a dream.Copy !req
41. Oh, my God!Copy !req
42. Tweek! This is Officer Daniels!Copy !req
43. Now, try and stay calm,Copy !req
44. but we believe an abductor
is in your room!Copy !req
45. Inside my room? Oh, God!Copy !req
46. Give it up, buddy!
We've got you surrounded!Copy !req
47. Okay, Tweek, I want you to very calmly,
but quickly, walk to the doorCopy !req
48. and come out to us!Copy !req
49. Oh, my God!Copy !req
50. Oh, Jesus, see me through this.Copy !req
51. Bang. You're dead, Tweek.Copy !req
52. - What?
- You failed the test, Son.Copy !req
53. Didn't I tell you not to open the door
for anybody,Copy !req
54. except your mother and I?Copy !req
55. Oh, God! Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
56. What if that had been a child abductorCopy !req
57. pretending to be
a police officer, Tweek?Copy !req
58. He would have sprayed your brains
all over the floorCopy !req
59. and then taken your body
off to the woods!Copy !req
60. You've got to be on your toes, Tweek.Copy !req
61. All right, now go to bed
and get some rest.Copy !req
62. Night, pumpkin!Copy !req
63. I hope this movie doesn't suck ass.Copy !req
64. It will.Copy !req
65. One, please.Copy !req
66. Wait!
That's not the usual ticket taker guy!Copy !req
67. - So?
- So, I don't know him!Copy !req
68. - Dude, relax.
- You relax! What if he wants to kill me?Copy !req
69. God, what the hell
did his parents do to him?Copy !req
70. Excuse me, is this the right road
to Breckenridge?Copy !req
71. Please, I just need to know
if this is South Park?Copy !req
72. Get away from me!Copy !req
73. Could you help me across the street?Copy !req
74. I don't know you!Copy !req
75. Oh, hey, kid!Copy !req
76. Oh, thank God you happened by!Copy !req
77. My chair ran out of juice
right on these train tracks!Copy !req
78. If you hadn't have shown up, well...
Anyway, could you give me a push?Copy !req
79. No, no, you don't understand.
I'm paralysed from the neck down!Copy !req
80. I push the chair with this device
in front of my mouth,Copy !req
81. but it's not working, so you see...Copy !req
82. I'm not supposed to talk to you!Copy !req
83. Please! This isn't funny, kid!
You have to help me!Copy !req
84. But it could be a trick!Copy !req
85. That's a pretty good trick.Copy !req
86. Relax, Tweek. I am not here to hurt you.Copy !req
87. I am the Ghost of Human Kindness.Copy !req
88. The Ghost of Human Kindness?Copy !req
89. You have never seen
the likes of me before!Copy !req
90. - What do you want?
- You have lost faith in humanity, lad.Copy !req
91. Something I cannot bear to see happen.Copy !req
92. How can I help it?Copy !req
93. It seems like everywhere I turn,
someone is out to get me!Copy !req
94. That is the world that the news reports.Copy !req
95. It is the world that adults
preoccupy themselves with.Copy !req
96. But it is not the world as it is.Copy !req
97. It isn't?Copy !req
98. Look here, Tweek.Copy !req
99. This woman is on her way
to the retirement home.Copy !req
100. She doesn't get paid.Copy !req
101. She volunteers her time
to talk with lonely elderly peopleCopy !req
102. who want nothing more than a friend.Copy !req
103. But do you hear about her on the news?Copy !req
104. No.Copy !req
105. Now gaze upon this
humble house, Tweek.Copy !req
106. Inside, there are two people
who have adopted needy children.Copy !req
107. They were strangers to those kids once.
Now they are loving parents.Copy !req
108. Now, look here, boy.Copy !req
109. A car has broken down with a flat tyre,Copy !req
110. and two complete strangers
have stopped to help.Copy !req
111. Will their kindness be reported
on the news tomorrow?Copy !req
112. I think not.Copy !req
113. Are you starting to understand, boy?Copy !req
114. I think so.Copy !req
115. You mean that even though all the news
is about murderers and abductors,Copy !req
116. those kind of people only make up
a very small part of the world.Copy !req
117. That's right, lad.Copy !req
118. So, do you think you can learn
to trust people now?Copy !req
119. - I'll try.
- Good.Copy !req
120. Then why don't you get
into the back of my van,Copy !req
121. and I'll drive you home?Copy !req
122. Your van?Copy !req
123. All right, Johnson, give it up!Copy !req
124. Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!Copy !req
125. - Oh, I was so close.
- What the hell is going on?Copy !req
126. Tweek! Tweek, are you okay?Copy !req
127. - Did he hurt you, Son?
- No!Copy !req
128. Then we aren't too late.Copy !req
129. His name is Frederick Johnson.Copy !req
130. He's been abducting children
by dressing upCopy !req
131. like the Ghost of Human Kindness
for over a year now.Copy !req
132. And I would have gotten
away with it again,Copy !req
133. if it weren't for you meddling policemen!Copy !req
134. What's going on?Copy !req
135. A stranger was caught
trying to abduct the Tweek boy!Copy !req
136. - An abductor in our town?
- Oh, my God, what are we going to do?Copy !req
137. Rabble, rabble, rabble!Copy !req
138. People, people, calm down.Copy !req
139. Well, what are we going to do, Mayor?Copy !req
140. We have to stop these abductors
from being able to get into our town!Copy !req
141. Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!Copy !req
142. Yes, but standing out here yelling,Copy !req
143. "Rabble, rabble, rabble,"
isn't going to help anything!Copy !req
144. But we don't know what
else to do, Mayor!Copy !req
145. Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble,
rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble.Copy !req
146. People, what do you think
we need to do?Copy !req
147. Well, we need to find a way
to close our town offCopy !req
148. from unwanted strangers!Copy !req
149. Yes, we need a barrier
to protect our kids!Copy !req
150. Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble...Copy !req
151. Wait! That's it. A wall.Copy !req
152. We could build a huge city wall
all around South Park,Copy !req
153. so that we have complete control
over who comes in.Copy !req
154. That's not a bad idea. A city wall.Copy !req
155. But who can we get to build it?Copy !req
156. And so, we want you to design and build
a great wall,Copy !req
157. all around the city.Copy !req
158. I don't build walls!
I just own and operate City Wok!Copy !req
159. We just think that you're
the best person to put up a wall.Copy !req
160. We're sure you've got it in your blood.Copy !req
161. Oh! I get it!Copy !req
162. Just because I Chinese,
you think I build a wall! That is bull...Copy !req
163. I'm not a stereotype, okay?Copy !req
164. Just because I Chinese doesn't mean
I go around building walls!Copy !req
165. I'm just a normal person like all of you.Copy !req
166. I eat rice, and I drive really slow,Copy !req
167. just like the rest of you.
I'm not a stereotype!Copy !req
168. Please, Mr. Twang Lu Kim.Copy !req
169. Your ancestors put up
a great wall that keptCopy !req
170. Mongolians out for thousands of years.Copy !req
171. We know you can do it for us.Copy !req
172. Hey. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
173. Hey! What the hell you doing?Copy !req
174. Mongolians!
What the hell Mongolian doing here?Copy !req
175. Hey, you, Mongolian.
Don't you break down my wall!Copy !req
176. Get out of here, Mongolian!Copy !req
177. God damn it, how come every time
us Chinese put up a wall,Copy !req
178. stupid Mongolians have to come
and knock it down?Copy !req
179. Stan, our abduction problems are over!Copy !req
180. - We got the new Child Tracker!
- Child Tracker?Copy !req
181. It's a little electrical device
that can tell usCopy !req
182. where you are anywhere on Earth.Copy !req
183. If anybody takes you,
we'll be able to locateCopy !req
184. your exact location within two metres.Copy !req
185. There. I think that's got it.Copy !req
186. Dude. No way.
I'm not wearing Child Tracker.Copy !req
187. You can barely even tell
you have one on.Copy !req
188. I'm not going to school like this!
What will all the other guys say?Copy !req
189. I wouldn't worry about that.Copy !req
190. So weak...Copy !req
191. So weak, dude.Copy !req
192. Man.Copy !req
193. Why did you have to go
and be abducted, Tweek?Copy !req
194. - Now all our parents are freaking out.
- I didn't mean to!Copy !req
195. Well, okay. Finally.Copy !req
196. Oh, no.Copy !req
197. It's those goddamn Mongolians again!Copy !req
198. Stop! Stop right there, Mongolians!Copy !req
199. God damn it, stop!Copy !req
200. Stop breaking down my city wall,
you stupid Mongolians!Copy !req
201. All right, you sons of bitches...Copy !req
202. What the hell?Copy !req
203. Oh,Copy !req
204. Oh, goddamn Mongolians!Copy !req
205. I gonna get you, Mongolians!Copy !req
206. Stop breaking my city wall!Copy !req
207. Oh, God damn it!Copy !req
208. That's the last time you gonna
break down my city wall!Copy !req
209. You hear me, Mongolian?Copy !req
210. Goddamn Mongolians.Copy !req
211. All right, Cows!
We're gonna go out thereCopy !req
212. and we're gonna give them hell.Copy !req
213. But, wait. Where's the other team?Copy !req
214. - There is no other team.
- Huh?Copy !req
215. Well, we put a wall around the city
to keep outsiders out.Copy !req
216. You don't think we want
a bunch of strangersCopy !req
217. coming in and play ball, do you?Copy !req
218. But there's no other team.
That won't be any fun.Copy !req
219. Don't worry, it will still be fun for us.Copy !req
220. Go, Cows! Go, Cows!
Go, Cows! Go, Cows!Copy !req
221. Play ball!Copy !req
222. Strike!Copy !req
223. Yeah!Copy !req
224. South Park Cows do it again!Copy !req
225. Congratulations on your victory, boys!Copy !req
226. Dude, we weren't playing anybody!Copy !req
227. Yeah, and you kicked ass!Copy !req
228. Isn't it awesome having a great wall
around our city?Copy !req
229. Nobody in town
except for our good friends.Copy !req
230. - Yeah!
- All right!Copy !req
231. Hey! Quiet, everybody!Copy !req
232. And this newest study reveals
more about child abductionsCopy !req
233. than we apparently knew before, Tom.Copy !req
234. Turn it up.Copy !req
235. That's right, Chris.
This newest study showsCopy !req
236. that the majority of child abductions
are not committed by strangers,Copy !req
237. but by somebody the child knows
in their own town!Copy !req
238. The report further states that it is
because the child trusts the individualCopy !req
239. that problems occur in the first place.Copy !req
240. Well, I guess this means the enemy
is in our own backyard, so to speak.Copy !req
241. - Sure does, Tom.
- All right, thanks, Chris.Copy !req
242. Is the weather going to turn sour?Copy !req
243. Well, if you'll all excuse us,
I think we'll be going now.Copy !req
244. Yeah, come along, Kyle.Copy !req
245. Stanley, time for us
to get back to the house.Copy !req
246. - I'm not done with my pizza.
- Now, Stanley!Copy !req
247. There we go, all finished.Copy !req
248. My Mongolian missile defence system!Copy !req
249. Those Mongolians try to break down
my city wall again,Copy !req
250. they're gonna get a big
heat-seeking missile surprise!Copy !req
251. Oh, hello, Mongolian. Yeah.Copy !req
252. You come to break down my city wall?Copy !req
253. Oh, you gonna throw
that baseball at my wall?Copy !req
254. Oh, no. Not a baseball.
I'm pretty scared.Copy !req
255. But you know what?Copy !req
256. I might have something here
that's a little bigger than a baseball.Copy !req
257. Say hello to my little friend!Copy !req
258. Oh, crap.Copy !req
259. Goddamn Mongolians!Copy !req
260. You break down my city wall
for the last time!Copy !req
261. Dude, this is worse than Child Tracker.Copy !req
262. It's okay, boys.
Just act as if we weren't here.Copy !req
263. Right. Do what you normally would do.Copy !req
264. You're such a fat-ass, Cartman.Copy !req
265. - At least I'm not a stupid Jew.
- What, what, what?Copy !req
266. M'kay kids, so now,
who can tell me what yearCopy !req
267. the first moon landing took place?Copy !req
268. How about you, Clyde?Copy !req
269. No helping!Copy !req
270. M'kay, I'm not really sure having all
the parents here is a good idea, m'kay?Copy !req
271. Well, maybe things would be betterCopy !req
272. if we could trust people
like the Stotches!Copy !req
273. Us? Your family has always been
the shifty-eyed ones!Copy !req
274. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
275. - Hey!
- Don't touch my son!Copy !req
276. Oh, this is too much to take.Copy !req
277. Mom, Dad, could you please
leave me alone?Copy !req
278. We just want to make sure nobody
hurts you, junior, m'kay?Copy !req
279. M'kay.Copy !req
280. My master plan!Copy !req
281. When those Mongolians
come next time,Copy !req
282. I pour this sweet-and-sour pork
on their heads.Copy !req
283. Sweet-and-sour pork so hot and sticky,Copy !req
284. Mongolians will stick right to the wall
and scream...Copy !req
285. I can't wait.Copy !req
286. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
287. A Trojan Mongolian horse!Copy !req
288. Mongolians are hiding inside,
thinking that I'll bring it in the city wall.Copy !req
289. Then Mongolians pop out
and destroy wallCopy !req
290. from inside out without getting
the sweet-and-sour pork on their heads!Copy !req
291. Okay, I'll play along.Copy !req
292. Oh, look!Copy !req
293. Look, my very own
Mongolian Trojan horse.Copy !req
294. Gee, what a surprise.
I guess Mongolians aren't such crappy,Copy !req
295. smelly people after all.Copy !req
296. Yeah.Copy !req
297. Great! Wow!Copy !req
298. Yeah, what a great present!Copy !req
299. I just gonna push it inside the gate
and show it to all my friends.Copy !req
300. Oh, it's sweet-and-sour pork!Copy !req
301. I'm gonna get you, Mongolians,
if it's the last thing I do!Copy !req
302. And, so, all the residents of ManhattanCopy !req
303. are prepared to evacuate if
Ms. Clinton's ass gets any bigger.Copy !req
304. And in other news, new findings
on the increase in child abductions.Copy !req
305. Oh, Jesus, turn it up, honey.Copy !req
306. The study shows that
the most likely abductors of childrenCopy !req
307. are the parents themselves!Copy !req
308. The study reveals that nine
out of every 10 abduction casesCopy !req
309. are committed
by the child's mother or father.Copy !req
310. The bottom line beingCopy !req
311. that your children aren't safe,
even from you.Copy !req
312. Where are you going?Copy !req
313. I'm just going to go upstairs
and see if Tweek is still in his bed.Copy !req
314. Oh? I think I'll go with you.Copy !req
315. - It's okay. I can do it.
- I just want to make sure that you...Copy !req
316. That I don't abduct him?Copy !req
317. How do I know that
you haven't done it already?Copy !req
318. Me? I would never abduct our son!Copy !req
319. That's not what the new study says!Copy !req
320. But what are we supposed to do?Copy !req
321. How can we protect Tweek
from ourselves?Copy !req
322. Here you go, Stanley.Copy !req
323. This should hold you over
for three years.Copy !req
324. But why do I have to leave?Copy !req
325. The news says that at your age
you aren't safe with us, Son.Copy !req
326. You have to get out of here
before we abduct you.Copy !req
327. Goodbye, Son. Remember to eat right.Copy !req
328. Look out for your brother, Kyle.
You're the man, now.Copy !req
329. Oh, boys!
Don't ever forget that we love you!Copy !req
330. Be careful out there!Copy !req
331. Where are we supposed to go?Copy !req
332. We can't tell you, because
we can't know where you are!Copy !req
333. Oh, this is terrible!Copy !req
334. Go on, kids! Go!
Go and don't look back!Copy !req
335. Goodbye, kids. We'll never forget you.Copy !req
336. Dude, sometimes I think
our parents are really stupid.Copy !req
337. Oh, hey, dog. Over here.
Over here, dog.Copy !req
338. Got some sweet pork for you.Copy !req
339. Good dog! That's it! Keep licking, dog!Copy !req
340. I'm free, Mongolians!Copy !req
341. And now I'm going to make you pay.Copy !req
342. Finally some good news tonight.Copy !req
343. It's been several days
since any child abductionsCopy !req
344. have taken place. The main reason,Copy !req
345. parents don't know
where their children are.Copy !req
346. What's the matter?Copy !req
347. Oh, it's just...Copy !req
348. I was wondering if Stan's okay.Copy !req
349. Oh, I'm sure he's made it
somewhere safe by now.Copy !req
350. Do you really think
we did the right thing, Randy?Copy !req
351. Sending all the young kids in town
off to live on their own?Copy !req
352. - Sweetheart, you saw the news.
- I know.Copy !req
353. Don't you worry. I'm sure that StanCopy !req
354. and all the other kids
are somewhere safe,Copy !req
355. off in a whole new city by now,
making a new life for themselves.Copy !req
356. All right, Mongolians!Copy !req
357. Your only way through this wall
is through me.Copy !req
358. This is my last stand!Copy !req
359. I'm gonna do my war dance now!Copy !req
360. Does my war dance
scare you, Mongolians?Copy !req
361. Yeah, you think you want
a piece of this?Copy !req
362. This is the ancient Chinese
dance of a...Copy !req
363. Oh, hello, kids.Copy !req
364. Be careful, those are
Mongolians up there.Copy !req
365. Oh, crap.Copy !req
366. - What's going on?
- I heard an explosion!Copy !req
367. Goddamn Mongolians
attack city wall again!Copy !req
368. Mongolians?Copy !req
369. What the hell are they doing here?Copy !req
370. - Rabble, rabble, rabble!
- Rabble, rabble, rabble!Copy !req
371. Wait a minute.Copy !req
372. Those Mongolians are our children.Copy !req
373. Ike? Kyle?Copy !req
374. My son has become a Mongolian?
No! No!Copy !req
375. Oh, God. What have we done?Copy !req
376. We sent our children away,Copy !req
377. and now they don't even remember
who they are.Copy !req
378. Kids, don't you remember us?Copy !req
379. Wait, wait.
I learned some Mongolian in college.Copy !req
380. Let's see.Copy !req
381. Kids...Copy !req
382. Oh, my God,
our parents are so stupid, dude.Copy !req
383. We are your parents.Copy !req
384. You used to live here with us.Copy !req
385. Yeah, it was like four days ago!Copy !req
386. They're starting to remember!Copy !req
387. Stan.Copy !req
388. Your name is Stan.Copy !req
389. Stan Marsh.Copy !req
390. That's it! Remember, Son! Remember!Copy !req
391. We're sorry, Tweek!Copy !req
392. Are you okay, Clyde?Copy !req
393. Oh, Son! Can you ever forgive us?Copy !req
394. - I'm over here, Dad.
- Oh.Copy !req
395. We're sorry, kids. We just let all thoseCopy !req
396. sensationalist news reports
go to our heads!Copy !req
397. Oh, my God, do you see
what this means?Copy !req
398. The Ghost of Human Kindness
was right all along!Copy !req
399. You mean, how he said
we should trust each other,Copy !req
400. or how he abducted children?Copy !req
401. The... No, no, the part about
being more trusting.Copy !req
402. We should follow what he said,
not what he did.Copy !req
403. - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
404. No. No.
You know who was right all along?Copy !req
405. The Mongolians.Copy !req
406. They knew that you can't
just wall yourself offCopy !req
407. from the outside world.Copy !req
408. Putting walls up never helps anything.
Tearing them down brings us together.Copy !req
409. - Oh, right.
- Yeah, the Mongolians were right. Yeah.Copy !req
410. Oh, you better not say
what I think you gonna say.Copy !req
411. Mr. Lu Kim, tear down this wall.Copy !req
412. Oh, God. I hate this whole city!Copy !req
413. Randy, can we just take
our son home, now?Copy !req
414. Yes! Kids, with us, now, come.Copy !req
415. Home.Copy !req
416. Home.Copy !req
417. Jesus Christ, dude, they've done some
stupid crap before, but Jesus Christ.Copy !req
418. I gonna get you, Mongolians!Copy !req