South Park 6x11

Directed by Trey Parker

In an effort to protect their children from kidnappers, the parents of South Park hire the owner and operator of the local City Wok to build a Great Wall around the city. When crazy things like Kid trackers and Mongolions come into the picture. The parents learn a very important lesson themselves about trusting strangers.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. And in other news, another school shooting

2. has taken place, this time in Idaho.

3. As these kinds of shooting increase, one thing becomes clear:

4. Your children are not safe at school.

5. Oh God! Change it! Change it!

6. This was the second time a terrorist threat has been made on a theme park,

7. leaving everyone to realize that children are not safe outside.

8. Agh! God, change it!

9. And it seems there's a new danger to look out for:

10. children who are taken by strangers.

11. The bottom line: children are not safe in their own homes!

12. Tweek.

13. Come to the kitchen, sweetie. We need to see you real quick.

14. Oh God. They're gonna get me.

15. Sit down and have some coffee, son.

16. Tweek, there's starting to be a lot of reports in the news

17. about kids being abducted, and we thought we should talk.

18. I s-I saw!

19. You know never to talk to strangers, right Tweek?

20. You can't trust anybody.

21. Oh God!

22. Now, we don't want to alarm you, son,

23. but we've isntalled new locks on your bedroom windows and door.

24. It's important for you to know never to unlock them at night

25. for anyone except your mother and I.

26. Oh Jesus!

27. It's just a precaution, sweetie. Probably nothing will ever happen.

28. No, NO! They're gonna get me!

29. Oh, God!

30. Just a dream.

31. OH MY GOD!

32. Tweek! This is Officer Daniels!

33. Now, try and stay calm, but we believe an abductor is in your room!

34. Inside my room? Oh God!

35. Give it up, buddy! We've got ya surrounded!

36. Okay, Tweek. I want you to very calmly but quickly

37. walk to the door and come out to us!

38. Oh my God!

39. Jesus, see me through this.

40. Bang! You're dead, Tweek.

41. What?

42. You failed the test, son.

43. Didn't I tell you not to open the door for anybody except your mother and I?

44. Oh God! Oh Jesus!

45. What if that had been a child abductor pretending to be a police officer, Tweek?

46. He would have sprayed your brains all over the floor and then

47. taken your body off to the woods.

48. You've got to be on your toes, Tweek.

49. Alright, now go to bed and get some rest.

50. 'Night, pumpkin.

51. - I hope this movie doesn't suck ass. - It will.

52. One please.

53. Wait, that's not the usual ticket-taker guy!

54. - So? - So? I don't know him!

55. - Dude, relax. - You relax! What if he wants to kill me?

56. What the hell do his parents do to him?

57. 'Scuse me, is this the right road to Breckenridge.

58. Please, I just need to know if this is "South Park"?

59. Get away from meee!

60. Could you help me across the street?

61. I don't know you!

62. Oh, hey, kid! Oh, thank God you happened by. My- my chair ran out of juice

63. right on these train tracks. If you hadn't had shown up, well...

64. Well, anyway, could you give me a push?

65. Huh uh!

66. No, no, you don't understand. I'm, I'm paralyzed from the neck down.

67. I push the chair with this device in front of my mouth, but it's it's not working, so you see-

68. I'm not supposed to talk to you!

69. Please, this, this isn't funny, kid. You have to help me.

70. But it could be a trick!

71. That's a pretty good trick.

72. Ááááááááá!

73. Relax, Tweek. I am not here to hurt you. I am the Ghost of Human Kindness.

74. The Ghost of Human Kindness?

75. You have never seen the likes of me before.

76. What do you want?

77. You have lost faith in humanity, lad. Something I cannot bear to see happen.

78. Huh-uh, how can I help it? It seems that everywhere I turn, someone is out to get me.

79. That is the world of the news reports. It is the world that adults

80. preoccupy themselves with, but it is not the world as it is.

81. It isn't?

82. Look here, Tweek. This woman is on her way to the retirement home. She doesn't get paid.

83. She volunteers her time to talk with lonely elderly people

84. who want nothing more than a friend.

85. But do you hear about her on the news? No.

86. Now gaze upon this humble house, Tweek. Inside there are two people who

87. have adopted needy children.

88. They were strangers to those kids once. Now they are loving parents.

89. Now, look here, boy. A car has broken down with a flat tire,

90. and two complete strangers have stopped to help.

91. Will their kindness be reported on the news tomorrow? I think not.

92. Are you starting to understand, boy?

93. I think so. You mean that, even though all the news is about murderers

94. and abductors, those kind of people... only make up a very small part of the world.

95. That's right, lad. So do you think you can learn to trust people now?

96. I'll... try.

97. Good. Then why don't you get into the back of my van, and I'll drive you home.

98. Your van?

99. Alright Johnson, give it up!

100. Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Oh, I was so close!

101. What the hell is going on?

102. Tweek, Tweek, are you okay?

103. Did he hurt you, son? No.

104. Then we aren't too late. His name is Frederick Johnson. He's been abducting

105. children by dressing up like the Ghost of Human Kindness for over a year now.

106. And I would have gotten away with it again if it weren't for you meddling policemen!

107. What's going on?

108. A stranger was caught trying to abduct the Tweek boy.

109. An abductor in our town?

110. Oh my God, what are we gonna do?

111. People, people, calm down.

112. Well what are we gonna do, Mayor?

113. We have to stop these abductors from being able to get into our town!

114. Yes, but standing out here yelling "Rabble rabble rabble"

115. isn't going to help anything.

116. Well we don't know what else to do, Mayor!

117. People, what do you think we need to do?

118. Uh, well, we need to find a way to close our town off from unwanted strangers!

119. Yes, we need a barrier to protect our kids.

120. Wait, that's it. A wall. We could build a huge city wall all around

121. South Park so that we have complete control over who comes in.

122. That's... not a bad idea, a city wall.

123. But who can we get to build it?

124. And so, we want you to design and build a great wall, all around the city.

125. I don' build wall. I just own un' operate Shity Wok.

126. We just think that you're the best person to put up a wall. We're sure you've got it in your blood.

127. Oh, I get it. Just because I Chinese, you think I build wall. That I' bullshit!

128. I'm not stereotype, okay? Just because I'm Chinese doesn't mean

129. I go around building wall! I'm just a normal person like all o'you!

130. I eat ahrice and drive ahreally slow, just like the rest o'you! I'm not stereotype!

131. Please, Mr. Tuong Lu Kim.

132. Your ancestors put up a great wall that kept Mongolians out for

133. thousands of years. We know you can do it for us.

134. Hey. Hey hey! Hey, what the hell you doing?

135. Mongorians? What the hell Mongorians doing here?

136. Ey, fuck you, Mongorians! Tryin' break down my wall!

137. Get out of here, fuckin' Mongorians!

138. God-damnit, how come every time us Chinese put up a wall,

139. stupid Mongorians have to come and knock it down?

140. Stan, our abduction problems are over. We got the new Child Tracker.

141. Child Tracker?

142. It's a little electrical device that can tell us where you are anywhere on Earth.

143. If anybody takes you, we'll be able to locate your exact location within two meters.

144. There, I think that's got it.

145. Dude, no way! I'm not wearing Child Tracker!

146. You can barely even tell you have one on.

147. I'm not going to school like this! What will all the other guys say?

148. I wouldn't worry about that.

149. So weak. So weak, dude. Man.

150. Why did you go and have to be abducted, Tweek? Now all our parents are freaking out!

151. I didn't mean to.

152. Okay. Finary.

153. Oh no.

154. It's those God-damned Mongorians again!

155. Stop! Stop right there, Mongorians!

156. God-damnit, stop!

157. Stop breaking down my shity wall you stupid Mongoriaaans!

158. Ay, you sons of bitches, you-

159. What the hell?

160. Oh, shit!

161. OH, GOD-DAMNED MONGORIANS!

162. I'm gonna get you, fuckin' Mongorians! Don't break down my shity wall!

163. That's the last time you're gonna break down my shity wall! You hear me, Mongorians?

164. God-damned Mongorians.

165. Alright, Cows, We're gonna go out there and we're gonna give 'em hell!

166. But, wait. Where's the other team?

167. There is no other team.

168. Well, we've... put a wall around the city to keep outsiders out.

169. You don't think we want a bunch of strangers coming in to play ball, do you?

170. But if there is no other team, then it won't be any fun.

171. Don't worry, it'll still be fun for us.

172. Go Cows! Go Cows!

173. Play ball!

174. Steeeeee-riiike

175. South Park Cows do it again!

176. Congratulations on your victory, boys.

177. Dude, we weren't playing anybody.

178. Yeah, and you kicked ass!

179. Isn't it awesome havin' a great wall around our city?

180. Nobody in town except for our good friends.

181. Guys! Sh, quiet everyone.

182. And this newest study reveals more about child abductions

183. than we apparently knew before, Tom.

184. Turn it up.

185. That's right, Chris. This newest study shows that the majority of child abductions

186. are NOT commited by strangers, but by somebody the child knows in their own town.

187. The report further states that it is because the child trusts the individual

188. that problems occur in the first place.

189. Well, I guess this means the enemy is in our own backyard, so to speak.

190. Sure does, Tom.

191. Alright, thanks, Chris. Is the weather going to turn su-

192. Well, if you'll all excuse us, I think we'll be going now.

193. Yeah. Come along, Kyle

194. Stanley, time for us to get back to the house.

195. I'm not done with my pizza.

196. NOW, Stanley!

197. Eh. Eh, eh, there we go.

198. All finished. My Mongolian Missile Defense system.

199. Those Mongolians try to break down my shity wall again,

200. they gonna get a big heat-seeking missile surprise!

201. Oh! Hello Mongolians. Yeah. You come to break down my shity wall?

202. Oh, you gonna throw that baseball at my wall? Oh no! Not a baseball!

203. I'm pretty scared. Well, you know what?

204. I might have something here that's a little bigger than a baseball.

205. Say hello to my little friend!

206. Aw, crap.

207. God-damned Mongolians! You break down my shity wall last time!

208. Dude, this is worse than Child Tracker.

209. 'Sokay, boys. Just act as if we weren't here.

210. Right. Do what you normally would do.

211. You're such a fatass, Cartman.

212. At least I'm not a stupid Jew.

213. Whatwhatwhaaat?

214. M'kay, kids, so, now, who can tell me what year the first moon landing took place?

215. Uh, how about you, Clyde?

216. Nineteen six-

217. No helping!

218. M'kay, I'm not really sure havin' all the parents here is a good idea, m'kay?

219. Well, maybe things could be better if we could trust people like the Stotches!

220. Us? Your family's all be the shifty-eyed ones!

221. Oh yeah?

222. Oh, this is too much to take.

223. Mom, Dad, could you please leave me alone?

224. We just wanna make sure nobody hurts you, Junior, m'kay?

225. M'kay.

226. Hahahaha! My masterpiece! When those Mongolians come next time,

227. I pour this sweet and sour pork on their heads.

228. Haha, sweet and sour pork so hot and sticky, Mongolians'll stick ahright up to the wall!

229. And scream "UhwOoOoOoOoo!" Oh I can't wait.

230. Oh, I get it. A Trojan Mongolian horse. Mongolians a-hiding inside thinking

231. that I'll bring it in shity wall, then Mongolians pop out and destroy wall from the inside

232. out without gettin' any sweet and sour pork on their heads! Okay. I'll pray around.

233. Oh! Oh rook! Rook, my very own Mongorian Trojan horse! Gee, what a surprise!

234. I guess Mongorians aren't such crappy, smelly people after all!

235. Yeah. Great! Rwow!

236. Yeah, what a great present!

237. I'm just gonna push it inside the gate and soon tell all my friends.

238. Oh, it's sweet and sour pork!

239. Oh! I'm going to get you Nogodians, if it's the last thing I do!

240. And so all the residents of Manhattan are prepared to evacuate,

241. if Ms. Clinton's ass gets any bigger.

242. And in other news, new findings on the increase in child abductions.

243. Oh Jesus, turn it up, honey!

244. The study shows that the most likely abductors of children... are the parents themselves!

245. The study reveals that nine out of every ten abduction

246. cases are commited by the child's mother or father.

247. The bottom line being that your children aren't safe, even from you!

248. Where are you going?

249. Uh. I'm just going to go upstairs and see if Tweek is still in his bed.

250. Oh? I think I'll go with you.

251. It's okay. I can do it.

252. I just want to make sure that you-

253. That I don't abduct him? How do I know that you haven't done it already?

254. Me? I would never abduct our son!

255. That's not what the new study says!

256. Well what are we supposed to do, eh-? How can we protect Tweek from ourselves?

257. Here you go, Stanley. This should hold you over for three years.

258. But why do I have to leave?

259. The news says that at your age you aren't safe with us, son.

260. You have to get out of here before we abduct you.

261. Good-bye, son. Remember to eat right.

262. Look out for your brother, Kyle. You're the man now.

263. Oh, boys! Don't ever forget that we love you!

264. Be careful out there!

265. Where are we supposed to go?

266. We can't tell you because we can't know where you are!

267. Oh, this is terrible!

268. Go on, kids! Go! Go and don't look back!

269. Good-bye, kids. We'll... never forget you.

270. Dude, sometimes I think our parents are really stupid.

271. Ah. Hey daw. O'er 'ere. O'er 'ere, dog. Got som'in sweet and souh foh ya.

272. Good dog! That's it! Keep licking, dog!

273. Hahahahahaaa! I'm free, Mongolians! And now I'm gonna make you PAY!

274. Finally, some good news tonight. It's been several days since any child abductions

275. have taken place. The main reason: parents don't know where their children are.

276. What's the matter?

277. Oh, it's just... I was wondering if Stan's okay.

278. Oh, I'm sure he's made it somewhere safe by now.

279. Do you really think we did the right thing, Randy?

280. Sending all the young kids in town to live on their own?

281. - Sweetheart, you saw the news... - I know.

282. Don't you worry. I'm sure that Stan and all the other kids are somewhere safe,

283. off in a whole new city by now, making a new life for themselves.

284. Tah tane da ke ab kahleh kalabush.

285. Bi ologad bag, big nan dastai.

286. De bandig baeakhalah?

287. Tawya mea pleda cleah bleah.

288. Triben fak burushban.

289. Shain balag!

290. Awright, Mongolians! Your only way through this wall is through me. This is my rast stand!

291. I'm gonna do my war dance now.

292. Does my war dance ascare you, Mongolians? Yeah, you think you want a piece of this?

293. This is ancient Chinese dance of a-

294. Oh, herro kids. Uh be careful, there's a-Mongolians up there.

295. Oh, crap!

296. What's going on?

297. I heard an explosion.

298. God-damned Mongolians attacked shity wall again!

299. Mongolians?

300. What the hell are they doin' here? Rabble! Rabble rabble!

301. Wait a minute. Those Mongolians are... our children.

302. Ike? Kyle?

303. My son has become a Mongolian?

304. No! Noooo!

305. Oh God. What have we done?

306. We sent our children away, and now they don't even remember who they are.

307. Kids? Don't you remember us?

308. Wait wait. I learned some Mongolian in college.

309. Ah, let's see. Uh. K-kids, uh, Bi kute. Bi salnek kute. Uh-d tah tasobarro.

310. Oh my God, our parents are so stupid, dude.

311. Bi kute.

312. We are your parents. You used to live here, with us.

313. Yeah, it was like four days ago!

314. They're starting to remember.

315. Staaan. Your name... is Staaan!

316. Uh huh, Stan Marsh.

317. That's it! Remember, son! Rememmmber!

318. - We're sorry, Tweek! - Are you okay, Clyde?

319. - Oh, son, can you ever forgive us? - Huh, I'm over here, Dad.

320. We're sorry, kids. We just let all those sensationalist news reports go to our heads.

321. Oh my God, do you see what this means?

322. The Ghost of Human Kindness was right all along.

323. You mean how he said we should trust each other, or how he abducted children?

324. The uh... no no, the part about being more trusting.

325. We should follow what he said, not what he did.

326. No, no. You know who was right all along? The Mongolians.

327. They knew that you just can't wall yourself off from the outside world.

328. Putting walls up never helps anything. Tearing them down brings us together.

329. Right!

330. Yeah, the Mongolians were right. Yeah.

331. Aw, you'd better not say what I think you're gonna say.

332. Mr. Lu Kim, tear down this wall!

333. Oh, God! I hate this whole shitty!

334. Randy, can we just take our son home now?

335. Yes, kids. With us, now come. Home. Hoomme.

336. Jesus Christ, dude, they've done some stupid crap before, but Jesus Christ.