1. Gentlemen, I understand
you are here to present
both sides of an issue.
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2. I want to
hear you both out,
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3. and do this in a civil
and constructive manner,
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4. so that I can
give you both the time
and attention you deserve.
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5. Jimbo, why don't
you begin?
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6. Mayor, it's about
the South Park flag.
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7. Oh, Jesus Christ,
not this again.
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8. We cannot change
the South Park flag, Mayor!
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9. Mayor, as I've
said before
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10. I find that flag to be
racist and insensitive.
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11. Chef, I respect you
very much.
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12. But you have to understand
that this has been
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13. the South Park flag
since some of our ancestors,
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14. like my great-grandfather,
founded this land.
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15. That flag
represents a time
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16. when blacks were
persecuted by whites.
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17. How can a black man
not be bothered by it?
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18. Alright, Chef, I'll have
my assistants hold up the flag,
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19. and you tell me what exactly
you find racist about it.
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20. You don't see anything
wrong with that flag!
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21. Chef, what about
the baseball team
the Cleveland Indians, huh?
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22. Should they change their name
because it's racist?
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23. Yeah.
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24. No, because it's
their history!
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25. Look, I have gone through
every quiet protest I could.
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26. I've written everyone,
I've put up signs.
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27. But now I'm telling you,
this flag will be changed!
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28. And I'm telling you
it won't!
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29. Oh boy.
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30. Okay, children,
in Mr. Garrison's absence,
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31. I would like to turn the class's
attention to current issues.
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32. Some people think the South
Park flag should be changed,
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33. while others believe that
changing the flag is wrong.
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34. I think this is
a perfect subject
for your Debate Club!
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35. Aw!
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36. I see that you've already had
a lot of interesting debates
this year...
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37. Pro-Choice vs. Cartman,
Pro-Gun Control vs. Cartman,
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38. and People Against the Clubbing of
Baby Seals vs. Cartman.
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39. And apparently, the winner
of all your debates so far
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40. has been—
Cartman.
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41. Thaaaaat's right!
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42. Cartman doesn't
always win!
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43. He just gets pissed off
and goes home, so we can't
debate any more!
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44. Yeah!
Yeah!
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45. Nu-uh, I'm just
a better debater
than you guys!
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46. You don't even know what
you're debating about
half the time!
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47. Yes, I do!
- No, you don't!
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48. Oh yeah? Well,
screw you guys,
I'm going home!
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49. Told ya.
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50. Alright, children,
well unlike Mr. Garrison,
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51. I want you all to go out
and research this debate
before we pick teams.
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52. Tomorrow you will need
to choose which side
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53. of this poignant debate
you are on.
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54. This is
about history, kids!
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55. If you don't have respect
for your past,
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56. then you can
never expect to-bird!
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57. Then you can never expect
to have a future.
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58. Nowadays, everyone wants
to change mascots and flags
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59. because they're
not "politically correct."
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60. But where does
it end?
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61. I mean, people are
gonna start saying
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62. that the Denver Broncos
are offensive to horses!
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63. And then we'll have to—
squirrel!
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64. And then we'll have
to change everything
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65. and pretty soon,
all our history
will be forgotten.
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66. But to really understand
the South Park flag's
importance,
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67. you need to know about
South Park's history.
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68. Ned here is
a big history buff,
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69. and he can tell you
the whole story, Ned?
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70. In 1867, 14 pioneers
from the East Coast
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71. travelled across
the plains—
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72. Uh, that's okay dude,
I think we got it.
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73. Yeah, we got it.
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74. You sure?
- Yep.
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75. You boys go
make me proud now,
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76. and win that debate—
Chris Peterson!
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77. Aaaghgh!
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78. Aw, dammit,
we missed him again!
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79. Sign up to join me
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80. as I march into
the mayor's office
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81. in protest of
the South Park flag!
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82. You see that children?
Nobody wants to get involved.
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83. Randy, sign up
to march with me
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84. against the South Park flag
on Wednesday?
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85. Ooh, look, Chef, you know
I'm not a racist, but, ah...
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86. I just don't really
feel strongly one way
or the other about the flag.
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87. Well, alright, Marsh,
you're entitled to
your own opinion.
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88. That's how it is
in this town.
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89. I haven't gotten
one signature
on this damn sheet
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90. and I've been here
all day!
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91. We'll march
with you, Chef.
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92. That's nice, but I need the
support of some registered voters!
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93. Hey Mackey, sign up
to march on Wednesday?
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94. Ooh, Wednesday?
Wednesday's tough.
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95. I guess maybe I could do
something Thursday afternoon.
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96. Alright, fudge it,
Thursday!
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97. Anyone else
wanna go Thursday?
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98. Thursday's no good,
we've got choir council.
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99. Oh yeah.
- What about next Sunday?
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100. Fine!
Next Sunday!
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101. You mean during
the ball game?
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102. Yeah, we can't do Sunday.
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103. Monday?
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104. Ooh, I can't do Monday.
- I could do Tuesday.
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105. Yeah, Tuesday
morning's good.
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106. You know what would be better
for me is Saturday afternoon.
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107. Saturday is
perfect for me!
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108. Yeah, how about
Saturday at 11:30?
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109. Yeah.
- Okay.
- Sounds good.
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110. Yeah, I think
that's the best day.
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111. Okay, on Saturday
we march!
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112. Ooh, march?
What are we marching for?
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113. To bring down
the South Park flag!
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114. Oooh!
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115. See you later.
- Marching's not for me.
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116. Well, I've counted all
your secret ballots, children,
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117. and it looks like about half of
you think the flag should stay,
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118. and half think the flag
should be changed.
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119. How could any of you think that
flag should stay the way it is!
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120. Save it for
the debate, Wendy!
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121. Now, I'm going to assign
the debate leaders.
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122. Who wants to lead
the "Flag Should Stay
The Way It Is" team?
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123. Me, me!
Me, me!
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124. Stan, how could you
be so insensitive?
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125. What, dude? I don't see
anything wrong with that flag.
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126. Yeah, me neither!
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127. Alright Stan and Kyle, you
can both be the team leaders
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128. for the "Flag Should Stay
The Way It Is" team.
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129. Now who wants to lead for the
"Flag Should Be Changed" team?
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130. Heh-heh-heh.
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131. Okay, Wendy and Eric
can team up.
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132. No!
- Heh-heh-heh.
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133. Alright children,
do your homework
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134. and let's get ready
for a great debate!
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135. Hello, Chef!
Hello, Chef!
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136. My name isn't "Chef"
anymore, children.
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137. I've converted
to Islam.
- Islam?
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138. From now on my name is
"Abdul Mohammed Jabar
Rauf Kareem Ali".
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139. With everyone in town being so
insensitive about the flag,
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140. I find it no longer fitting
to use my slave name!
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141. Well, we need help
with our Debate Club.
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142. We have to explain
why we think the flag
should not be changed.
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143. You what?
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144. You don't think they should
change the flag?
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145. Not really.
- Yeah, we don't see
what the big deal is.
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146. Well that figures
you don't.
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147. Because your
cracker-ass parents
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148. turned you into little
cracker-ass cracker-racists!
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149. I never thought I'd live to see this
many of the people I considered friends
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150. turn against me!
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151. But Chef, we don't know what
you're talking about-
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152. But nothin'!
But my ass!
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153. Fix your own
damn food!
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154. Okay, now, in order for us
to win the debate to change
the South Park flag,
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155. we will need to do
a lot of research.
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156. Now, my plan is to divide up
into three research teams.
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157. We will present
our argument based on-
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158. It's okay,
I'm here!
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159. Nice of you
to show up.
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160. We were just discussing
how we should state our case.
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161. Yes, this is
a difficult case.
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162. In order to win
the debate
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163. we'll need to attack
Stan and Kyle's credibility.
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164. What?
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165. That's how you win
these things!
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166. Butters, take some kids
and go dig up whatever dirt
you can on Kyle's past.
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167. I'm talking
"boobie" magazines,
whatever.
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168. Wu-okay!
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169. The rest of you,
get us the goods on Stan.
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170. His mom grounded him once
for setting something on fire,
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171. let's find out what
that something was—
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172. and then lie and
say it was a puppy!
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173. Right!
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174. Mmm!
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175. Cartman, we can't just attack
Stan and Kyle's credibility!
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176. We need to present
our side of the debate!
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177. You're right, we'll
need to look like we've
prepared a case too,
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178. so that they look
all the weaker, good plan.
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179. So... What's
the issue again?
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180. The South Park flag!
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181. Interesting...
And what side are we on?
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182. Aaaghgh!
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183. Whoa, calm down, ho!
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184. Tom, I'm standing out front
of the South Park mayor's office,
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185. where both sides
of this debate have gathered.
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186. Change the flag!
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187. Don't change history!
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188. Oh brother,
what now?
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189. Earlier today,
the South Park townspeople
voiced their opinions...
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190. Well, I think that
the flag is racist.
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191. But then again, it is
a part of our history.
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192. Well, I guess the flag
is a part of history,
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193. but I can see
how it is racist.
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194. I think it is history,
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195. I think it is racist.
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196. Well, one thing's for sure,
tensions are high
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197. and pressure is mounting
on the South Park mayor
to do something.
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198. In the 1960s, there was
a monk who set himself
on fire to protest!
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199. You have left me
no choice!
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200. To protest your lack
of humanity,
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201. I will now do the
same thing!
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202. White power!
White power!
White power!
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203. What's this?
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204. Ah, Tom it looks as if
the KKK has shown up
to voice their opinion!
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205. Hello, brother, we are here
to support your noble cause!
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206. Huh? Hey now...
We don't want your support.
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207. We're not racists,
this is about history.
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208. Yeah!
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209. Well, whether you want
our support or not,
we're on your side!
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210. White power!
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211. White power!
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212. White power!
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213. Mr. Garrison,
you're a Klan member?
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214. No, no,
but Mr. Hat is.
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215. White power!
White power!
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216. Ugh, you're such
a racist bastard,
Mr. Hat!
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217. White power!
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218. Change the flag!
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219. Don't change history!
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220. Oh Jesus,
what a mess.
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221. Chef, we realize that you find
the South Park flag racist,
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222. and we certainly
understand your case.
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223. We have been
working diligently
on this problem,
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224. put in a lot of hours
and we have finally
altered the flag
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225. in a way that we think
will make you very happy.
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226. Gentlemen?
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227. There,
is that better?
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228. No, dammit!
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229. No, but look, he's got
a little smile now.
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230. See? He's happy,
much better,
don't you think?
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231. Well, some people just won't
work with you at all!
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232. This is getting
out of hand,
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233. how do I absolve myself of
any responsibility with this?
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234. Mayor, the South Park
Elementary children
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235. are discussing the flag issue
in their Debate Club on Friday.
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236. We could use the debate
as an excuse to hold
a vote on the issue.
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237. Yes, of course!
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238. Let the children
be responsible!
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239. Everybody loves children!
Tell the press!
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240. South Park Elementary will be
holding a vote on Friday!
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241. This might
come in handy.
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242. It says here that recently
a case was brought before
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243. the South Carolina courts
about their flag.
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244. I warn you,
Bog Monster.
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245. Do not mock
Captain Candycorn!
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246. Oh yeah?
How'd you like I should
kick you in the nuts?
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247. If we could show
a parallel between
the South Carolina case...
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248. Oomf! Oh yeah?
I'll kick you in the nuts!
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249. Oomf! I'll kick you
in the nuts!
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250. I'll kick you
in the nuts!
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251. Cartman, why don't you
just go home?
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252. You aren't helping any!
- You won't let me help!
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253. That's because you're stupid
and you're a racist.
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254. Touche, but dude, you might
as well let me help you,
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255. we're in this together.
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256. I mean, just tell me
what to do and I'll do it.
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257. Wendy, let Cartman help,
seriously.
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258. Wendy, seriously,
the Bog Monster speaketh.
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259. Okay, so since
my dad's a lawyer,
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260. he says we can use
any of his books we want,
who wants to read them?
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261. Come on you guys, we all
have to work on this!
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262. Kenny, how many
of my dad's mints
are you gonna eat, Jesus?
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263. Mph rmph rm rmph rm!
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264. I know your family's poor,
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265. but you can't just eat an entire
bowl of mints for dinner!
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266. Mprh you.
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267. I don't think we stand
a chance in this debate
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268. because Wendy's
leading the other side.
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269. Dude, you're just saying that
'cause she's your girlfriend.
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270. Mprm rmph rm rmph rm?
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271. Yeah you can have a drink of
water, the dispenser's over there.
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272. Yeah, you must be thirsty
after eating sixty mints!
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273. Hey boys, how's
the research coming?
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274. Pretty good,
I guess.
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275. Do you think they should
change the flag?
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276. Oh, uh, I don't know.
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277. Kenny ate
all the mints, Dad.
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278. Oh, those weren't mints,
they were antacid tablets.
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279. Oh.
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280. Kenny!
Kenny!
Kenny!
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281. That was a good one!
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282. White power!
White power!
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283. Do not change the flag,
it is a symbol of white power!
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284. White power!
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285. Ugh, I'm sorry, Chef.
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286. Mr. Hat is a racist
son-of-a-bitch.
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287. Don't apologize for me
to that spearchucker!
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288. Wagh!
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289. How can you all just
stand by and let
these racists do this?
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290. Well, Chef,
it's freedom of speech.
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291. We don't like it, but we can't
arrest them for talking.
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292. Should the Klan be allowed to
rally on the steps of the Capitol?
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293. Here's what
some people think.
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294. Well, I think
they are racist,
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295. but I do think freedom
of speech is important.
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296. Well I for one, believe in
freedom of speech,
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297. but then again, I think
they are racists...
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298. I believe that they are
racists, but I do believe in—
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299. Aw, to hell with all of you
indecisive bastards!
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300. On Friday, South Park Elementary
will present a debate
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301. and after the debate,
there will finally be a vote.
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302. Preliminary polls show 3
in favor of changing the flag,
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303. 3 against changing the flag
and 4,382 undecided.
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304. So the pressure is on
those South Park kids!
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305. Well, that's enough rallying
for this afternoon, members!
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306. Let's take
a hot shower.
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307. Hot shower!
Hot shower! Hot shower!
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308. Ned, nobody's gonna
vote for our side
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309. if it's the side those
KKK members are on!
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310. Come on, we gotta
put a stop to them!
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311. I can't believe it,
all the pressure's on us.
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312. I mean, this debate
is going to actually affect
the outcome of the vote!
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313. Uh-huh.
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314. Oh man, we've got to
come up with rebuttals
to the history argument.
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315. Why don't we just talk
about the swastika.
- Huh?
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316. I mean, Germany was united
under the swastika, right?
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317. But obviously, history
wasn't as important
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318. as changing their views
after the war and stuff,
so they changed it.
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319. Hey, that's
a pretty good point, Cartman.
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320. Yeah!
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321. Not bad at all, I'm gonna
make that our first argument!
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322. Cool.
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323. Doublestuff cookies
are my favorite!
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324. Really?
Mine too!
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325. What I really
like to do
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326. is I like to take tops
off of two cookies,
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327. and then put them together
and make quadruple stuffs!
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328. Hey, that's what
I always to do too!
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329. No way!
- Yeah!
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330. Jesus, I never thought
I'd have any thing in common
with you, Cartman.
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331. Me neither!
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332. Ha-ha.
- Huh.
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333. Well, anyway, let's
get back to work.
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334. Whoa.
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335. Weird, um, okay.
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336. Now let's say that
first we talk about
the history of the flag.
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337. We can show that the—
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338. Sorry, go ahead.
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339. No, you go ahead.
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340. Mr. Hat, what do you
think you're doing?
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341. There's another
Klan rally tonight.
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342. I have to be there
in fifteen minutes.
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343. Oh no, Mr. Hat,
you are not dragging me
to another Klan meeting.
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344. But they're electing a new
assistant to the Grand Dragon.
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345. I might get elected!
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346. Well, good for you,
puppet pants!
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347. I'll have nothing
to do with it!
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348. I'm going whether
you like it or not!
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349. Oh yeah?
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350. I'm not going Mr. Hat
and that's final.
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351. Let's just see you try
and go without me!
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352. Mr. Hat!
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353. White power! White power!
White power!
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354. Alright, Ned, we've got
to be careful.
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355. These are mean, evil men
we are dealing with.
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356. Okay.
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357. Dammit, Ned,
doesn't that thing have
a volume control?
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358. No.
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359. White power!
White power!
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360. Good evening,
brothers!
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361. Our first order
of business tonight
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362. is to have
Brother Anderson update us
on last week's minutes.
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363. Last week we decided that
we hate Blacks and Jews... a lot!
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364. Alright, and now,
it is time for us all
to come together and...
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365. Do our cake raffle!
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366. Ooh!
Cake raffle!
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367. This week's winner is...
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368. 2-9-7-4.
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369. I won! I won!
I won the cake!
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370. Good job,
brother!
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371. Cartman!
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372. Say it will be
like this forever.
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373. Okay, it will be
like this forever.
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374. Oh, Cartman.
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375. Agh!
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376. Brrrrrrrr!
What's wrong with me?
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377. It's okay,
get a grip, girl.
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378. Wendy!
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379. Wendy!
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380. Agh!
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381. Wendy.
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382. Oh God, please don't
let this be happening.
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383. Alright brothers,
listen up!
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384. As you know, this fine city
is holding a vote
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385. on whether or not
to change their flag,
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386. but lynching minorities
is history!
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387. So what are we
gonna do about it?
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388. Let's say that
if they change the flag,
we'll burn down the capital!
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389. Yeah!
Yeah!
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390. Let's say that
if they change the flag,
we'll never leave this town!
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391. Yeah!
Yeah!
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392. Let's say they should
change the flag!
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393. What's that, brother?
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394. I think we should
switch sides!
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395. Me too,
that's a good idea.
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396. Look, we have to
accept the fact
Copy !req
397. that most people in the
world hate us, right?
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398. Yeah.
Yeah.
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399. So whatever side
we're on,
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400. is the side that's
gonna lose, right?
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401. Right.
Right.
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402. So why don't we all say
that we want the flag changed.
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403. That way, most folks will vote
to keep it the way it is!
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404. Great idea brother!
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405. Yeah!
Yeah!
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406. Alright, it is decided!
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407. We will officially
tell everyone that we want
the flag changed,
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408. so that they will all
vote against us!
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409. Hooray!
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410. We're smart!
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411. That worked
perfectly, Ned!
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412. Alright, well, now that
all that's out of the way,
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413. it's time to play
"Who's Got The Silliest Thing
On Under Their Robe?"
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414. Hooray!
Woo-hoo!
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415. Jesus, Ned, these guys
are completely nuts.
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416. Yup.
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417. That is the most insane
thing I've ever seen.
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418. I can't believe those
people are on our side.
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419. I mean, is our side
that crazy?
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420. Oh, hello, Chef,
big debate tomorrow,
I guess.
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421. Oh Jesus, the robes!
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422. Chef, this isn't
what it looks like!
You gotta listen to us—
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423. I ain't gonna listen
to nothing!
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424. This whole cracker-ass town
can kiss my ass!
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425. Ned, I'm startin' to think
maybe history ain't worth
defending sometimes.
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426. Thanks for
coming over, Bebe.
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427. I have something
to tell you.
- Sure, what?
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428. Bebe, I'm attracted
to Cartman.
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429. Aaaaaaagggghhhhhh!
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430. I know.
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431. Why would you
tell me this?
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432. Why would you
tell anyone this?
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433. Because I don't know
what to do!
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434. I can't concentrate and
if I can't concentrate,
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435. then I can't win
the debate tomorrow!
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436. The whole vote is dependent
on me doing a good job.
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437. Alright, look,
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438. when two people
work closely
for a long time,
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439. sometimes they feel
what's called
"sexual tension".
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440. Sometimes you just have to
act on the impulse and
get it over with.
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441. You mean,
I should kiss him?
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442. Kiss him and get it
out of your system.
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443. Oh God!
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444. Well, I certainly would like
to thank all the parents
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445. for their support
of our Debate Club.
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446. I realize that many of you are
torn by the issues as well,
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447. so perhaps the children
can shed some light on us!
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448. We'll start with
Wendy Testaburger,
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449. on the "Flag Should
Be Changed" team!
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450. The, the, uh...
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451. The, uh...
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452. The first argument
we, uh...
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453. Lemme start over.
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454. The, uh... oh God!
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455. Could you all excuse me
for a moment?
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456. There, now, the main point
we would like to make
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457. is that often times, it is
prudent to change history.
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458. As times change,
we hope to grow,
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459. and as we grow,
our rules must change,
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460. it is a natural part
of evolution, thank you.
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461. Okay, and Kyle and Stan's team,
your main point?
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462. Our main point
is that the flag
shouldn't offend anyone
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463. because killing
has been around since
the beginning of time.
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464. All animals kill
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465. and the animals that
don't kill are stupid ones,
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466. like cows and
turtles and stuff.
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467. So, people should not be
so upset about killing.
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468. Thank you.
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469. Woah, woah, woah! You just
missed the point entirely!
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470. Huh?
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471. I'm not mad because the flag
shows somebody getting killed,
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472. it's because
it's racist!
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473. Racist?
- Racist?
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474. Children, don't you even know
what this argument is about?
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475. That flag is racist
because a black man is
being hung by white people!
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476. Ooohhhh!
Ooohhhh!
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477. Ooohhhh?
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478. We didn't really
see it that way.
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479. But that's a black man
up there!
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480. Yeah, but the color of
someone's skin doesn't matter.
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481. Well, of course
it matters when—
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482. Oh my God,
wait a minute!
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483. You children didn't
even see the flag
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484. as a black man being hanged
by white people, did you?
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485. No.
No.
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486. Why that is...
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487. That is the most beautiful
thing I've ever heard.
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488. What?
What?
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489. Don't you see?
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490. All this time I thought
these little crackers
had turned racist,
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491. when actually,
they were so not racist
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492. that they didn't even make
a separation of black and white
to begin with.
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493. All they saw when
they looked at that flag
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494. was five people.
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495. Aw!
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496. Yeah.
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497. I'm sorry, children,
I was wrong about you.
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498. But I still think the flag
needs to be changed.
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499. But now I realize that
I almost let racism
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500. turn me into a racist.
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501. Yeah, you know, I suddenly
found myself on the side
of Klan members.
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502. I've never had anything
against Blacks, Chef.
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503. Aw, I know you don't, Jimbo.
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504. I've known you for
almost ten years.
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505. You're a good man.
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506. We've been way to divisive
over this, Chef.
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507. Maybe we can come up
with a compromise flag.
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508. Something that everybody
can be happy with.
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509. I think that's a much
better start than me
trying to separate myself
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510. from all you
wonderful crackers!
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511. Oh, sweet dude,
I don't think we have to
do this stupid debate now!
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512. Stan?
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513. Well, this has been
an interesting week
in South Park.
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514. We've all done a lot
of growing this week.
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515. Everyone was afraid to
take a stand on this issue.
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516. But now we have learned
once again
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517. that black, white, yellow,
brown or whatever,
we are all just people.
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518. And so, I am very excited
to unveil
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519. our new South Park flag!
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520. Wait, I don't get it.
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521. No, see, there's people
of all colors.
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522. And they added a black guy
as one of the hangers too,
so it's not racist.
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523. Hooray!
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524. I have to admit it,
that is a lot nicer.
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525. Whew! I'm sure glad
that's over with!
- Me too!
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526. I can't believe how right
Bebe was about feeling
under pressure with somebody.
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527. As soon as it was over,
all my feelings for you
just vanished!
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528. Oh, yeah,
yeah totally.
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529. I'm totally back to normal,
see ya later!
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530. Yeah, see ya later.
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531. "Ho", huh-huh.
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532. Ha-ha!
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533. Stan!
Stan wait up!
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