1. Ahh... Dickens.Copy !req
2. The imagery
of cobblestone streets,Copy !req
3. craggy London buildings,Copy !req
4. and nutmeg-filled
Yorkshire puddings.Copy !req
5. Hello, I'm a British person.Copy !req
6. For years now, the character Pip
has been featured prominentlyCopy !req
7. in the American show
South Park.Copy !req
8. However, many Americans don't
realize where Pip came from.Copy !req
9. He's the prowling,
adorable little EnglishmanCopy !req
10. from Charles Dickens'
timeless classicCopy !req
11. Great Expectations.Copy !req
12. And so, tonight,
the makers of South ParkCopy !req
13. have agreed to take a break
from their regular showCopy !req
14. and instead present
the prestigious Dickens taleCopy !req
15. in its entirety
from beginning to end.Copy !req
16. Indeed,
after watching this show,Copy !req
17. you'll know the timeless classicCopy !req
18. as if you'd read
the cliffsnotes themselves.Copy !req
19. Our story is set in England,Copy !req
20. in the small town of
Draffordshire-upon-Topsmart,Copy !req
21. where a young blond-haired boy
named PipCopy !req
22. was on his way
to see his parents.Copy !req
23. 'Ello, Mum.
'Ello, Dad.Copy !req
24. It certainly is nice
to see you again.Copy !req
25. Don't worry. Sister is still
taking very good care of me.Copy !req
26. She just loves
to smack me in the faceCopy !req
27. and tell me I'm worthless.Copy !req
28. Oh, we have such fun together!Copy !req
29. Well, it's getting dark,
Mum and Dad.Copy !req
30. I'll see you again soon.Copy !req
31. Wha—
Wha—
you little Wiversham?Copy !req
32. Oh, hello. Why, you look
like an escaped convict.Copy !req
33. Did we breakie-wakies
out of prison?Copy !req
34. Oh, dear,
but you're shackled.Copy !req
35. Here, let me help you.Copy !req
36. What are you doing
with those?Copy !req
37. I'm an apprentice blacksmith.
There you are.Copy !req
38. And here's a sandwich.
You must be starving.Copy !req
39. Why are you
so easy to help me?Copy !req
40. It's not for me
to judge you, sir.Copy !req
41. We are all the same.Copy !req
42. Don't quite all smell the same,
though, I'm afraid.Copy !req
43. Pip, where
have you been?Copy !req
44. Wha—Copy !req
45. Lovely day, isn't it?Copy !req
46. What the hell's
lovely about it?Copy !req
47. Joe, teach this boy
some bloody cynicism!Copy !req
48. Oh, I don't know
about that.Copy !req
49. I just like to keep
to me blacksmithing.Copy !req
50. Hey, look -I've made me
a metal fire poker.Copy !req
51. A lot of bloody good
a fire poker's gonna doCopy !req
52. when I'm starving to death!Copy !req
53. Why don't you make us
some bloody food to eat?Copy !req
54. Alright, look here—
I made me a metal orange.Copy !req
55. Stuff your metal orange,
you bastard!Copy !req
56. You're not worth a tablespoon
of nightingale droppings,Copy !req
57. you metal-pounding fairy!Copy !req
58. And you -why don't you get
a job? You're 8 years old now!Copy !req
59. Oh, lookee here -I've gone
and made a metal newspaper.Copy !req
60. Shut up, you silly nit!Copy !req
61. What the hell
are we supposed to doCopy !req
62. with a metal newspaper?Copy !req
63. Well, for starters,
we can look in the want adsCopy !req
64. and see if we can
find Pip a job.Copy !req
65. Oh, look here!Copy !req
66. "Young man wanted
for paid position."Copy !req
67. Where?
- Where?Copy !req
68. "Havesham residence
seeks young boyCopy !req
69. "to play
with lonely daughter.Copy !req
70. "Will pay up to...Copy !req
71. 20 quid a day?"Copy !req
72. That's a lot of money-woney.Copy !req
73. You can keep
a little girl companyCopy !req
74. for 20 quid a day, Pip.Copy !req
75. And old Mrs. Havesham is the
wealthiest woman in the town!Copy !req
76. Well, the very next day,Copy !req
77. Pip went to old Miss Havesham's
house to inquire about the job,Copy !req
78. and it was there that he met
the girl of his dreams.Copy !req
79. Who are you?Copy !req
80. I've come to answer
the want ad.Copy !req
81. Is that so,
you smelly little bastard?Copy !req
82. What?
- This way,
you pathetic squirt.Copy !req
83. This way, you beef-witted,
shriveled-up monkey's penis.Copy !req
84. Up here, you gamy mass
of baby vomit.Copy !req
85. In here.Copy !req
86. Oh, after you, miss.Copy !req
87. I'm not going in there,Copy !req
88. you stupid puddle
of a homeless man's urine.Copy !req
89. Who is that?Copy !req
90. I've come to answer
the want ad, ma'am.Copy !req
91. Come closer.
Look at me.Copy !req
92. Does it frighten you
to look upon a womanCopy !req
93. who has not seen the sun
in over 20 years?Copy !req
94. Oh, no, no!
You sort of look upon womenCopy !req
95. who have not seen the sun
for over 20 yearsCopy !req
96. quite a lot these days.Copy !req
97. I sometimes have sick fancies,Copy !req
98. and I have a fancy I should
like to see someone play.Copy !req
99. So, play.Copy !req
100. Play.Copy !req
101. Um...Copy !req
102. Estella,
play with this boy.Copy !req
103. With him?Copy !req
104. But he's just a commoner!Copy !req
105. But you can
break his heart.Copy !req
106. Alright, boy,
let us play.Copy !req
107. Righty-o.
What are we going to play?Copy !req
108. We are going to play
a little game calledCopy !req
109. "smack the blond boy
in the head with a large log."Copy !req
110. Yes! My sister and I play
that game all the time!Copy !req
111. Who will go first?Copy !req
112. Oh, you stupid,
pathetic boy!Copy !req
113. What do you think of her?Copy !req
114. Well, I -I think
she's very pretty.Copy !req
115. Hmm. What else?Copy !req
116. I think she's
rather insulting.Copy !req
117. You quite fancy her,
don't you?Copy !req
118. Come back again next week.
We shall play some more.Copy !req
119. That night,
Pip spent all his sleeping hoursCopy !req
120. unable to get Estella's
beautiful face out of his mind.Copy !req
121. Stop dreaming about me,
you slow-witted rectal belch.Copy !req
122. Day after day,
Pip visited Estella.Copy !req
123. Sometimes they would play.
Sometimes they would talk.Copy !req
124. But every single day,
Pip's love for Estella grew.Copy !req
125. Don't you want
to play anymore?Copy !req
126. Boy, do you still
think I'm pretty?Copy !req
127. Oh, well... yes, miss.Copy !req
128. And do you still think
I'm insulting?Copy !req
129. Oh, um...
not so much as before.Copy !req
130. Ow!
- I hate you!Copy !req
131. You're an oozing, painful
hemorrhoid that belches pus.Copy !req
132. Oh, dear.
- You can kiss me if you like.Copy !req
133. Come, let us walk
in the daisy garden.Copy !req
134. Oh, what fun it is
to splash about in a fountain!Copy !req
135. You there,
the prowling little boy.Copy !req
136. I bet you can't
jump on my back.Copy !req
137. Go on, then.
Try and jump on my back.Copy !req
138. Who is that?Copy !req
139. Just another playmate
hired to amuse me.Copy !req
140. You didn't think you were
the only one, did you?Copy !req
141. Oh, I rather
thought I was.Copy !req
142. Oh, you silly,
small-testicled boy.Copy !req
143. Come, let us walk
through the rose garden.Copy !req
144. Yes, good.Copy !req
145. She will break his pathetic
heart into a million pieces.Copy !req
146. Well, what a spot
poor Pip was in!Copy !req
147. He was hired to be the friendCopy !req
148. of the very harsh
and beautiful Estella.Copy !req
149. And although she treated him
like dirt—Copy !req
150. or perhaps because
she treated him like dirt—Copy !req
151. Pip found himself more in love
with the little girlCopy !req
152. each and every day.Copy !req
153. Oh, bless him!
Isn't he lovely?Copy !req
154. But isn't it sad?Copy !req
155. Because Pip knew that someoneCopy !req
156. as sophistated
and as wealthy as EstellaCopy !req
157. could never love him,Copy !req
158. for he was just a simple
blacksmith's apprentice.Copy !req
159. And so you bang
on this side,Copy !req
160. a bang on that side,Copy !req
161. and there you have it—
your very own metal fuzzy dice.Copy !req
162. Yes, I see.Copy !req
163. Ha ha. Lovely.Copy !req
164. Eh, what's all this, Pip?Copy !req
165. Joe, do you know
anything about girls?Copy !req
166. Sure!Copy !req
167. They're those things
with vaginas in them.Copy !req
168. But do you know
anything about them,Copy !req
169. about how they work?Copy !req
170. Oh, I don't know
about that.Copy !req
171. I just like to keep
to me blacksmithing.Copy !req
172. Do you think that a girl
who's rich and educatedCopy !req
173. would ever want to be
with a blacksmith?Copy !req
174. Oh.Copy !req
175. Oh...
No, I don't think so, Pip.Copy !req
176. Who could that be?Copy !req
177. Joe the blacksmith?
- The same.Copy !req
178. I'm a lawyer from LondonCopy !req
179. in search of a young lad
named Pip.Copy !req
180. I'm Pip, sir.Copy !req
181. I've been sent to offer youCopy !req
182. a reasonable sum of money in
exchange for your apprentice.Copy !req
183. Oh, well,
Pip's not for sale, sir.Copy !req
184. I have a clientCopy !req
185. who wishes to give
this bright child a future.Copy !req
186. Anything he desires.
Do you still object?Copy !req
187. Heaven forbid
I should stand in the wayCopy !req
188. of Pip's future, but—Copy !req
189. He will one day inherit
a handsome property,Copy !req
190. but the owner
of that propertyCopy !req
191. wants him first
to travel to LondonCopy !req
192. and learn to be a gentleman.Copy !req
193. That's great news!Copy !req
194. There's only
one condition, Pip—Copy !req
195. your benefactor wishes
to remain anonymous.Copy !req
196. Oh it must be Miss Havesham.
- Uh-uh!Copy !req
197. If you have any suspicion
of who that person might be,Copy !req
198. you're to keep it in your
own breast, understood?Copy !req
199. Yes, sir.
- Then you will go to London
in a week's time.Copy !req
200. Here's 20 sovereigns.Copy !req
201. Well, Blacksmith,
you look stunned.Copy !req
202. I am, sir.
- Then I shall take my leave.Copy !req
203. Good evening, gentlemen,Copy !req
204. and we shall see you
in London next week, Pip.Copy !req
205. Goodbye, sir.Copy !req
206. Pip, a young gentleman...Copy !req
207. of great expectations!Copy !req
208. You shall stay here with
your roommate, Mr. Pocket.Copy !req
209. He is a distinguished
young ladCopy !req
210. who will help you on your way
to being a gentleman.Copy !req
211. I trust you see
no problem with this?Copy !req
212. None, sir.
I should think not.Copy !req
213. On up, then, and prepare
for school on the morrow.Copy !req
214. Yes, sir!
Thank you, sir!Copy !req
215. Mr. Pip.
- Mr. Pocket?Copy !req
216. Pray, come in!Copy !req
217. Thank you kindly.
You look rather familiar.Copy !req
218. As do you. Perhaps we've
seen each other before.Copy !req
219. As to our lodging,
it's not splendid.Copy !req
220. This is our sitting room—
chairs and tables and carpet.Copy !req
221. This is my little bedroom—
rather musty.Copy !req
222. And this is your bedroom.Copy !req
223. My, how lovely.Copy !req
224. What a gay time
we shall have!Copy !req
225. Gay as in festive, not as
in penetration of the bum.Copy !req
226. You're holding
your bags all this time!Copy !req
227. Let me take them!
I'm quite ashamed!Copy !req
228. Oh, it's quite alright.
Lord bless me!Copy !req
229. You're the gentleman I saw
in Miss Havesham's house!Copy !req
230. Yes, of course!
You're the prowling little boy!Copy !req
231. What a smashing
coincidence!Copy !req
232. Perhaps, but perhaps not.Copy !req
233. Miss Havesham
is very generous indeed.Copy !req
234. That old biddy -I have nothing
to do with her anymore.Copy !req
235. She's absolutely mad.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
236. Don't you know about
Miss Havesham's melancholy past?Copy !req
237. It's quite a story and shall
be discussed over dinner.Copy !req
238. Time for a smashing meal and
the story of Miss Havesham.Copy !req
239. Pocket, may I ask you
a favor?Copy !req
240. I am desperately trying
to become a gentlemanCopy !req
241. for the love
of a certain girl.Copy !req
242. Will you tell me if I do
something wrong at the table?Copy !req
243. You'll do fine, dear fellow.
Now, on to Miss Havesham.Copy !req
244. She was raised
by a wealthy fatherCopy !req
245. and grew up to be
a spoiled brat.Copy !req
246. I might mention that,
in London, it is not the customCopy !req
247. to put the knife
in the mouth.Copy !req
248. Oh, dear, I'm terribly sorry.
- Not at all, I'm sure!Copy !req
249. Miss Havesham grew up
to be a lovely young lady,
and soon a man came along,Copy !req
250. which gets me to the cruel
part of the story—Copy !req
251. Merely breaking off to remark
that a dinner napkinCopy !req
252. should never be placed
into the tumbler.Copy !req
253. Sorry, sorry.
- Not at all, I'm sure!Copy !req
254. This man pursued
Miss Havesham closelyCopy !req
255. and professed
to be devoted to her.Copy !req
256. She passionately
loved him back.Copy !req
257. The marriage day was fixed,
the wedding dresses bought,Copy !req
258. the wedding guests invited,
and finally the day came.Copy !req
259. But not the groom.Copy !req
260. I break from the tale
only to mentionCopy !req
261. that one should never pass gas
at the table.Copy !req
262. Oh, excuse me.
- Not at all, I'm sure!Copy !req
263. The groom never showed.Copy !req
264. He simply wrote a letter
that Miss Havesham receivedCopy !req
265. 20 minutes
before the wedding.Copy !req
266. At half 9:00—
the time when she stoppedCopy !req
267. all the clocks
in the house.Copy !req
268. She laid waste to the house,
as you have seen it,Copy !req
269. and has never since
looked upon the light of day.Copy !req
270. The story ends, Pip,
with me suggestingCopy !req
271. that one should never
pull out their wee-weeCopy !req
272. and check it for scabs
whilst at the table.Copy !req
273. Terribly sorry, Pocket.
- Not at all, I'm sure!Copy !req
274. and so Pip spent
the next several monthsCopy !req
275. learning how to be a gentleman.Copy !req
276. He was schooled
in several languages,Copy !req
277. he was taught fencing
and marksmanship,Copy !req
278. and he was shown how to dance
and how to eat box.Copy !req
279. And after it all, after weeks
and weeks of intense schooling,Copy !req
280. Pip was finally
a full-fledged gentleman.Copy !req
281. Proud of himself, Pip decided
to pay Miss Havesham a visitCopy !req
282. to thank her for her generosityCopy !req
283. and to see if he was indeed now
good enough for Estella.Copy !req
284. Good evening, Miss Havesham.
- Come closer, Pip.Copy !req
285. My, you're quite
the gentleman now, aren't you?Copy !req
286. Thanks to you.
- Perhaps.Copy !req
287. Estella's been off
to school as well.Copy !req
288. She's become quite the lady.Copy !req
289. Would you like to see
a picture of her?Copy !req
290. Oh, my, she is even
prettier than before.Copy !req
291. Oh, you love her,
don't you, Pip?Copy !req
292. I don't know. I mean,
I think about her every day.Copy !req
293. Do you know
what love is, Pip?Copy !req
294. It is blind devotion,Copy !req
295. unquestioning self-humiliation,
utter submission,Copy !req
296. trust and belief
against yourselfCopy !req
297. and against the whole world,Copy !req
298. giving up your whole
heart and soul to Smiter.Copy !req
299. Righto.
- Love her, Pip.Copy !req
300. I developed her
into what she isCopy !req
301. so that she might...
be loved.Copy !req
302. Yes, but...
Where will I find her?Copy !req
303. There's a dance
at the palace tomorrow night.Copy !req
304. Estella will be there.Copy !req
305. Go and seek her out.
And love her -love her!Copy !req
306. Thank you, Miss Havesham,
for everything!Copy !req
307. I'm the happiest boy
in the land!Copy !req
308. And if she wounds you, love her,Copy !req
309. if she tears your heart
into pieces—Copy !req
310. and as you get older,
it will tear deeper—Copy !req
311. love her!Copy !req
312. Yes, our young Pip
had come a long way,Copy !req
313. from the apprentice
of a blacksmithCopy !req
314. to a fine young gentleman
of great expectations.Copy !req
315. And now he was to finally see
his beloved Estella againCopy !req
316. at a grand ball held by
the King of England, Tony Blair.Copy !req
317. It was here that Pip would
finally and formally ask EstellaCopy !req
318. to be his girlfriend,Copy !req
319. and all would be right
with the world.Copy !req
320. Hello! Estella?Copy !req
321. Pip! My goodness,
how you've changed.Copy !req
322. Yes, I've become
a gentleman.Copy !req
323. May I?Copy !req
324. I suppose.Copy !req
325. So, how is it that you've
learned to dress and dance?Copy !req
326. Well, I was sent to be
schooled in London.Copy !req
327. I see. And you no longer live
with the blacksmith?Copy !req
328. Oh, I see Joe
once in a while,Copy !req
329. but I don't have much
in common with him anymoreCopy !req
330. a gentleman and all.
- Naturally.Copy !req
331. It is wonderful to
see you again, Estella.Copy !req
332. Is it? Why?Copy !req
333. Because I believe
I'm in love with you.Copy !req
334. Pip, you must know
that I have no heart.Copy !req
335. I think you do.Copy !req
336. Oh, I have a heart to be shot
or stabbed in, no doubt,Copy !req
337. and if it ceased to beat,
I should cease to be.Copy !req
338. But you know what I mean.Copy !req
339. I have no softness there,
no sympathy, sentiment.Copy !req
340. I see past that, Estella.Copy !req
341. I see a little girl
who wants to be warm and kind.Copy !req
342. Hey, Estella,
let's get out of here.Copy !req
343. Alright, Steve.
Just one moment.Copy !req
344. Who -who is that?Copy !req
345. That is Steve.
He is 17 and has a car.Copy !req
346. I see. And you fancy
this Steve fellow?Copy !req
347. I should—
he's my boyfriend.Copy !req
348. Boyfriend!
- What's the matter, Pip?Copy !req
349. I don't understand.
I did everything right.Copy !req
350. I stopped being
a poor commoner.Copy !req
351. I even blew off
my loving Joe!Copy !req
352. It's -it's the way it goes
sometimes, Pip.Copy !req
353. He's 17 and has a car.Copy !req
354. I'm -I'm very...Copy !req
355. I'm... leaving.Copy !req
356. Miss Havesham,
you have to talk to Estella.Copy !req
357. She's going out with a—Copy !req
358. Well, well, well,
if it isn't Mr. Pip.Copy !req
359. Miss Havesham. But I—Copy !req
360. Don't they make
a handsome couple, Pip?Copy !req
361. Look at the way
he holds her hand.Copy !req
362. But I don't understand.Copy !req
363. You sent me away
to become a gentlemanCopy !req
364. so that I could be with Estella.Copy !req
365. Things aren't always
what they seem, Pip.Copy !req
366. Oh, what's the matter?Copy !req
367. Did she... break your heart?Copy !req
368. Well, I suppose that if you
set out to break my heart,Copy !req
369. you did a very good
job of it...Copy !req
370. Because it certainly does hurt.Copy !req
371. Yes, tell me about the pain.Copy !req
372. Tell me about the crushing
and the prickly things.Copy !req
373. It's as if
someone has ahold of my heartCopy !req
374. and is squeezing it
very tightly.Copy !req
375. Yes! And it is somewhat
difficult to breathe.Copy !req
376. Hey, wait a second!Copy !req
377. You mean this whole thing was
just a setup by your mom?Copy !req
378. Is your heart broken as well?
Tell me all about it.Copy !req
379. But why do you make
your daughter hurt people?Copy !req
380. Why?
Well, that's simple.Copy !req
381. Because I need the tears
of broken hearted menCopy !req
382. to use in my Genesis device.Copy !req
383. You see, my foolish child,
I am growing very old.Copy !req
384. But tonight I will fuse my soul
into Estella's once and for all,Copy !req
385. and then I can go on
breaking men's heartsCopy !req
386. for another generation.Copy !req
387. What the hell?Copy !req
388. Estella, prepare yourself
for the Genesis platform.Copy !req
389. Oh, no, you don't!Copy !req
390. You're my girl, and I'm not
letting you walk out on me!Copy !req
391. What the—Copy !req
392. And as for you, Pip,Copy !req
393. my robot monkeys
should take care of you!Copy !req
394. Aah!Copy !req
395. Ah!Copy !req
396. Pip?Copy !req
397. Pip, old chap?
- Joe?Copy !req
398. That's right.
You're safe and warm now.Copy !req
399. Joe found you lying facedown
in the street, Mr. Pip.Copy !req
400. You were in a state. You've been
unconscious for nearly three hours.Copy !req
401. Miss Havesham has all the menCopy !req
402. who have had their hearts broken
by Estella in her house!Copy !req
403. Why would she have
wasted all that timeCopy !req
404. sending me to school and turning
me into a gentleman?Copy !req
405. Well, about that, Pip...Copy !req
406. There's another person
who wants to see you.Copy !req
407. 'Ello, Pip.
You remember me?Copy !req
408. I'll rip off your arms
and shove 'em up your arse!Copy !req
409. Why, you're the escaped convict
I helped a long time ago.Copy !req
410. Yes.
After you helped me,Copy !req
411. I moved to Wales and made
something of myself.Copy !req
412. If it weren't for you,Copy !req
413. I'd have never
become a millionaire.Copy !req
414. He's the one that sent
you to London, Pip.Copy !req
415. He's the one that sent you off
to be a gentleman.Copy !req
416. You? But why?Copy !req
417. Because back then you treated me
like any other person.Copy !req
418. You weren't a snob,Copy !req
419. and you helped me
like you would a rich man.Copy !req
420. Oh, dear. All this time
I thought it was Miss Havesham.Copy !req
421. She totally
let me believe it.Copy !req
422. I tried to tell you.Copy !req
423. She's a vengeful woman
who wanted nothing moreCopy !req
424. than to see you hurt along
with the rest of the male sex.Copy !req
425. Well, I've certainly
learned a lot—Copy !req
426. that being a gentleman
doesn't mean learning to danceCopy !req
427. or proper table manners.Copy !req
428. It means being a gentle man,
gentle to everyone.Copy !req
429. Righto, Pip. Righto.Copy !req
430. And now I suppose there's
only one thing left to do.Copy !req
431. What's that, Pip?Copy !req
432. If Miss Havesham is determined
to do this to others...Copy !req
433. Let's go kick her ass!Copy !req
434. Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
435. And now we come to the final act
of the Dickens classic taleCopy !req
436. in which the stage is set
for an epic showdown.Copy !req
437. Miss havesham's robot monkeys
prove a formidable foe,Copy !req
438. but Pip is not about to let
Estella's soulCopy !req
439. be forever consumed
by the Genesis device.Copy !req
440. And now the thrilling conclusion
of "Great Expectations."Copy !req
441. Are you ready, Estella?Copy !req
442. Are you ready
to complete the cycle?Copy !req
443. Yes, mother.Copy !req
444. Not so fast,
you ugly, ancient bitch!Copy !req
445. Pip?Copy !req
446. Your man-hating days
are over, Havesham!Copy !req
447. Quite the contrary,
Blacksmith.Copy !req
448. My revenge on the male race
is only about to begin.Copy !req
449. Dear God, Pip. Look!Copy !req
450. Estella, help me!
I'm your boyfriend!Copy !req
451. So am I.
And me.Copy !req
452. We were all
Estella's boyfriendsCopy !req
453. at one time or another,
and now we're doomed.Copy !req
454. Yes, cry away, males.Copy !req
455. Once your tears have collected
into the Genesis device,Copy !req
456. the fusion of Estella and me
will be complete.Copy !req
457. You won't get away with this!Copy !req
458. Won't I?Copy !req
459. Let the transformation begin.Copy !req
460. Pip, she started
the device!Copy !req
461. Pocket, get over there
and do whatever it takesCopy !req
462. to keep those blokes
from crying.Copy !req
463. Righto, Pip.Copy !req
464. It begins.Copy !req
465. Come, Estella. You can't want
to be part of this!Copy !req
466. It is...
what I was raised for.Copy !req
467. Hello, gentlemen.Copy !req
468. Whatever you do,
please do not cry.Copy !req
469. Havesham's device fuels itself
on your tears, I'm afraid.Copy !req
470. How are we not to cry?Copy !req
471. Our hearts have been broken,
our lives ruined,Copy !req
472. and now we are set
to die.Copy !req
473. Yes, but just think about...
panda bears!Copy !req
474. Oh, they're so cuddly and sweet,
panda bears are.Copy !req
475. What silly little noses
they have!Copy !req
476. Panda bears make me sad.
They're almost extinct.Copy !req
477. Oh, right, right. Let's not
think about panda bears, then.Copy !req
478. Let's think about... swimming!Copy !req
479. Oh, what jolly fun
swimming is,Copy !req
480. with a splishy-splash and
a hold-your-breath-tight!Copy !req
481. Yes.Copy !req
482. Get out of that chair,
you old cow!Copy !req
483. Estella, listen to me.Copy !req
484. You are a wonderful girl
with a kind heart.Copy !req
485. I told you, Pip,
I have no heart.Copy !req
486. But you do! And I shall prove it
to you once and for all.Copy !req
487. Look at this
adorable little bunny.Copy !req
488. Oh, my.
He's very cute.Copy !req
489. You see? A heartless person
wouldn't care about this bunny.Copy !req
490. They'd just as soon
break its neck.Copy !req
491. Oh.
But look at this bunny.Copy !req
492. There. You see that?Copy !req
493. You have too big a heart
to kill two baby bunnies.Copy !req
494. Right.Copy !req
495. Oh, what fun it is
to collect stamps!Copy !req
496. Lick the backs,
put them into books—Copy !req
497. all tidy with their smashing
pictures and bright colors!Copy !req
498. My father died
in a stamp-collecting accident.Copy !req
499. Right, let's not talk about
stamp collecting, then.Copy !req
500. Let's talk about...Copy !req
501. ice skating!Copy !req
502. Oh, what fun ice skating is!
Who can catch me?Copy !req
503. Who can catch
the ice-skating king? That's me!Copy !req
504. I can't fight 'em off no more!Copy !req
505. A person with a heart could
never kill nine baby bunnies.Copy !req
506. So you do have too big
a heart to—Copy !req
507. 10 baby bunnies.Copy !req
508. There's too many of 'em!Copy !req
509. Oh, please, sirs,
you must not cry.Copy !req
510. We can't help it.
You're boring us to tears!Copy !req
511. Pip, it's too late!Copy !req
512. 26 baby bunnies.Copy !req
513. I don't want to.
I don't see the point in this.Copy !req
514. What?
- I don't want to kill
any more of them.Copy !req
515. There! You see?
You do have a heart!Copy !req
516. You think so? Let me see it.
Maybe I can kill it.Copy !req
517. No, no, I'm sure of it.
You have a heart.Copy !req
518. You want your own life.
Come with me now!Copy !req
519. Yes...Copy !req
520. No-o-o!Copy !req
521. Aaah!Copy !req
522. Ooh, top smart, Pip!Copy !req
523. You did it, Pip!Copy !req
524. Well, I guess old Miss Havesham
won't be taking any revengeCopy !req
525. on any more blokes, eh?Copy !req
526. Yes, her poor, miserable life
is finally over.Copy !req
527. You're released
from her now, Estella.Copy !req
528. Now we can begin
our life together.Copy !req
529. Yes.
Yes, my small-testicled love.Copy !req
530. Oh, I'm so glad
everything has worked out.Copy !req
531. Where are all
my little bunniesCopy !req
532. that you borrowed,
then, Pip?Copy !req
533. And they all lived
happily ever after.Copy !req
534. Except for Pocket,
who died of Hepatitis B.Copy !req
535. So ends Charles Dickens'
"Great Expectations."Copy !req
536. We hope you now have
a deeper appreciation for Pip,Copy !req
537. and, indeed, all masterpieces
of literature like this one.Copy !req
538. Until next time,
I'm a British person.Copy !req
539. Good night.Copy !req