1. Today, we are going
to talk about Hell!Copy !req
2. Hello, Satan!Copy !req
3. Saddam.Copy !req
4. Us Jews don't
believe in Hell.Copy !req
5. But what if
we're wrong?Copy !req
6. Let's go!Copy !req
7. They killed Kenny!Copy !req
8. He had sins that
he didn't confess!Copy !req
9. No, Saddam, I told you,
I'm with Chris now.Copy !req
10. Boys, it is your
Christian dutyCopy !req
11. to save the souls
of your friends.Copy !req
12. I love you, Satan.Copy !req
13. I love you too, Saddam.Copy !req
14. Agh!Copy !req
15. Fonz, there is no way
you can jump that shark
with your waterskis!Copy !req
16. Ay, I've gotta try,
Richie!Copy !req
17. Ooh!Copy !req
18. Dude, if this guy's
going to Hell?Copy !req
19. Who's gonna save us?Copy !req
20. Well, it looks like
we're gonna have to saveCopy !req
21. Everyone in this town
ourselves!Copy !req
22. Go Fonz!Copy !req
23. Aaaayyyy—Copy !req
24. And now the exciting conclusion
of "South Park"!Copy !req
25. Aayyyyy!Copy !req
26. Aaghgh!Copy !req
27. I told him
he couldn't do it.Copy !req
28. I am saying this because
we must be saved-a!Copy !req
29. The Lord is powerful
and he will smote the sinnersCopy !req
30. and send them
to everlasting Hell-a!Copy !req
31. If you do not live
your life for him-a!Copy !req
32. Then to the lake of fire
you shall go-a!Copy !req
33. You see that, parents?Copy !req
34. Your children have
refused to come in to class
since this morning!Copy !req
35. I'm afraid your son
is the leader, Ms. Cartman.Copy !req
36. Apparently he's read
the entire BibleCopy !req
37. and now he's scaring
the hell out of everyone.Copy !req
38. Poopie-kins!Copy !req
39. It's time to stop preaching
damnation to everyone, sweetie.Copy !req
40. Don't you guys, um...Copy !req
41. Persercrute our
religious beliefs!Copy !req
42. Yeah!Copy !req
43. We're not trying to
persecute you, kids.Copy !req
44. But you're supposed
to be in school!Copy !req
45. What purpose
does school have?Copy !req
46. The Bible says
the only goal in this lifeCopy !req
47. is to praise God and
get into heaven!Copy !req
48. Yeah, this life is short,
the afterlife is forever!Copy !req
49. Don't listen to them, kids,
you have to go to school!Copy !req
50. Many of you knew
Kenny McCormick.Copy !req
51. He was a playful, school-going
eight-year-old.Copy !req
52. And then yesterday...Copy !req
53. He was smacked down
by the Lord-a!Copy !req
54. God bitch slapped him right
to the fiery depths of Hell!Copy !req
55. So when will you go?Copy !req
56. Tomorrow, ten years?
Does it matter?Copy !req
57. No!Copy !req
58. Because unless you give
this life to the Lord,Copy !req
59. that life belongs
to Satan!Copy !req
60. Agh!Copy !req
61. But we cannot worship God
in that churchCopy !req
62. where the priest
of sin resides!Copy !req
63. So we will build
a new church!Copy !req
64. With crystal walls,
a ceiling eighty-feet high,Copy !req
65. and a slide that
connects this part myha
to this part mhya!Copy !req
66. Who will help us!Copy !req
67. I will!
I will!Copy !req
68. Praise God-a!Copy !req
69. if I go spend the night
with Saddam,Copy !req
70. then it's over
between me and Chris.Copy !req
71. Chris has been
so nice to me.Copy !req
72. And I know Saddam will
just hurt me again.Copy !req
73. Maybe I'll just
go talk to Saddam.Copy !req
74. I need closure, yeah,
that's it, I need closure.Copy !req
75. What am I doing?Copy !req
76. What took ya
so long, baby?Copy !req
77. Saddam, I'm just
here to talk.Copy !req
78. Great, let's talk!Copy !req
79. Mmm, this bed
is comfy-womfy!Copy !req
80. Saddam, I only came here
because I need closure.Copy !req
81. Sounds fun, you know me,
I'll try anything!Copy !req
82. No, Saddam,
listen to me—Copy !req
83. Would you like a drink?Copy !req
84. Maybe just a little one,
I have to go back soon.Copy !req
85. I need you to understand that
we can't be together anymore.Copy !req
86. I need you to not
come by the condo,Copy !req
87. and not try
to see me.Copy !req
88. Chris thinks we can all
be friends, but I don't.Copy !req
89. And I have to focus
on Chris now.Copy !req
90. What is this?Copy !req
91. These hotels have all kinds
of crazy channels.Copy !req
92. Saddam, will you
listen to me?Copy !req
93. Chris is
a great person!Copy !req
94. He is the one I want
to be with now!Copy !req
95. Really, so then
what are you doing here?Copy !req
96. I don't know about you,Copy !req
97. but this video is
gettin' me pretty hot.Copy !req
98. Saddam...Copy !req
99. Here, have another drink.Copy !req
100. Ugh, oh God,
my head!Copy !req
101. I drank too much...
Chris?Copy !req
102. Oh no!Copy !req
103. Man, look at that!Copy !req
104. We went through fourteen
bottles of vegetable oil!Copy !req
105. Ooh, I'm all greasy!Copy !req
106. Oh God,
what time is it?Copy !req
107. Last night was awesome!Copy !req
108. Aren't we
together again now?Copy !req
109. I don't know,
I guess so.Copy !req
110. But now I have to go home
and tell Chris.Copy !req
111. Screw him!Copy !req
112. No, Saddam, I at least
owe him an explanation.Copy !req
113. I just don't know
what I'm gonna say.Copy !req
114. I know how to solve
this little problem.Copy !req
115. We are now entering Ensenada,Copy !req
116. the second largest city
on the Mexican Baja Peninsula.Copy !req
117. We have now traveled over
2000 miles since leaving
New York City!Copy !req
118. We'll just be stopping here
for a few moments for gasCopy !req
119. and then our tour will continue
on to its final destination!Copy !req
120. Oiga, hay algo pegado
bajo el autobus!Copy !req
121. Que? What's stuck to
the bottom of the bus?Copy !req
122. Hmph!Copy !req
123. Oh, goodness.Copy !req
124. We must have run over
a little Mexican
further up north.Copy !req
125. Is it okay?Copy !req
126. Pienso que si.Copy !req
127. Well, here's fifty
for the gas, adios!Copy !req
128. Where am I?
Que?Copy !req
129. Where am I?
Que?Copy !req
130. It is beautiful.Copy !req
131. Thine church is
almost completeth.Copy !req
132. There's no way God would
want to send us to Hell now!Copy !req
133. Yeah this church
kicks a—Copy !req
134. It, it kicks.Copy !req
135. Hello, boys.Copy !req
136. Don't try to take me
away again, Mom and Dad!Copy !req
137. I told you, I renounced
the Jewish faith!Copy !req
138. It's not that, Kyle.Copy !req
139. It's just that
Eric's mother needs to
see you all right away.Copy !req
140. Just really quick, she says
it's very important.Copy !req
141. Very well,
yea, guys,Copy !req
142. let us walk to mine home
and see what mine mom wants.Copy !req
143. I sure hope this works.Copy !req
144. Hello, kiddies!Copy !req
145. I made you all powdered-donut
pancake surprise!Copy !req
146. Wow, cool!Copy !req
147. No, it is a trick!Copy !req
148. Do not vex me,
oh temptress!Copy !req
149. What?Copy !req
150. This is a distraction
from our work on the church!Copy !req
151. Do not think that you can
tempt us with toys...Copy !req
152. And games...Copy !req
153. And tidings of powdered-donut
pancake surprise!Copy !req
154. For it is the afterlife
we concern ourselves with!Copy !req
155. Not the pleasures
on this earth!Copy !req
156. But salvation
in the world after!Copy !req
157. Yeah!Copy !req
158. Oh, well,
alrighty then.Copy !req
159. I don't think it worked.Copy !req
160. Aw!
Aw!Copy !req
161. Let us get back to
our work at the church.Copy !req
162. Yea, I shall answer
the phone-na.Copy !req
163. Hello?Copy !req
164. Mprh mprm rm
rmph rm rmph!Copy !req
165. Oh my God!
- What?Copy !req
166. It's Kenny, he's calling
from beyond the grave!Copy !req
167. Kenny?
What's he say!Copy !req
168. Ask him what
Hell is like!Copy !req
169. Kenny, you have to
tell us about Hell!Copy !req
170. Give us every last
horrible detail!Copy !req
171. Um...Copy !req
172. Oh God, Chris is gonna be
so mad at me!Copy !req
173. Well, here goes...Copy !req
174. Hey, you.Copy !req
175. Hi, Chris.Copy !req
176. You...
Were out all night.Copy !req
177. Yeah, I just...Copy !req
178. Spent the night walking
around the marina.Copy !req
179. Satan, you know you're
not a very good liar.Copy !req
180. You went and saw Saddam,
didn't you?Copy !req
181. Yes.Copy !req
182. Satan...
I understand.Copy !req
183. What?Copy !req
184. I still feel secure
and safe with you.Copy !req
185. Oh, no!Copy !req
186. What, what's wrong?
I said it's okay.Copy !req
187. I know!Copy !req
188. Well, what more
do you want from me?Copy !req
189. Well, could you not be
such a pussy about it?Copy !req
190. I mean,
can't you just sayCopy !req
191. "if you ever see Saddam again
I'll break your legs"Copy !req
192. or "I'm gonna go kick
Saddam's ass" or something?Copy !req
193. Satan, I'm a 90's man.Copy !req
194. I cry when I need to,
I share my feelingsCopy !req
195. and I keep my mind open
about everything.Copy !req
196. Just give me some boundaries,
be jealous!Copy !req
197. Go throw a football around,
for Christ's sake!Copy !req
198. Now you're starting
to hurt my feelings.Copy !req
199. I'm sorry, Chris.Copy !req
200. It's not you,
really, it's me.Copy !req
201. You're the best thing
that's ever happened to meCopy !req
202. and for some reason,
I can't just accept that.Copy !req
203. Die, pussy!
Aahghgh!Copy !req
204. Chris!Copy !req
205. Saddam what the Hell
are you doing?Copy !req
206. There, I got rid of
the problem for you!Copy !req
207. Now there's no conflict!Copy !req
208. No, not like this!Copy !req
209. Friends, I have to tell you
that last night,Copy !req
210. I received a phone call
from beyond the grave!Copy !req
211. It was our departed friend,
Kenny,Copy !req
212. calling from
the depths of Hell!Copy !req
213. And he described what Hell
is like in horrid detail!Copy !req
214. He said that in Hell,
the smell is awful!Copy !req
215. He said that in Hell,
everyone speaks Spanish!Copy !req
216. Aagh!
Aagh!Copy !req
217. He said there
is water in Hell,Copy !req
218. but if you drink it,
you pee blood out your ass
for seven hours!Copy !req
219. No!
No!Copy !req
220. And perhaps worst of all,Copy !req
221. in Hell, there are
dozens and dozens of
little trinket stores.Copy !req
222. But they all have the same
little trinkets in them!Copy !req
223. Aaghgh!
Aaghgh!Copy !req
224. Where is our daughter!Copy !req
225. Dad?Copy !req
226. Marcy, you are coming home
this instant!Copy !req
227. We are saving your daughter
from the clutches of Hell, sir!Copy !req
228. You're not going to make
my daughter part of your cult!Copy !req
229. Your daughter could
die tomorrow and then what?Copy !req
230. You're just a stupid little
fat kid who thinks that—Copy !req
231. Stephen?Copy !req
232. Stephen, no!Copy !req
233. The Lord has
spoken again!Copy !req
234. Oh forgive us, Lord,
for our sins!Copy !req
235. Forgive us Lord!
Forgive us Lord!Copy !req
236. Let us pray!Copy !req
237. Heavenly Father,
do not send us to Hell.Copy !req
238. We're sorry.Copy !req
239. Whatever we did,
we're sorry.Copy !req
240. Stephen?Copy !req
241. Stephen!Copy !req
242. Where-where am I?Copy !req
243. Where are we?
- Oh my God!Copy !req
244. What's happening?Copy !req
245. Aaghgh!Copy !req
246. Hello newcomers
and welcome.Copy !req
247. Can everybody hear me?
Hello?Copy !req
248. Can everybody-okay.Copy !req
249. I'm the Hell director.Copy !req
250. It looks like we have about
8,615 of you newbies today.Copy !req
251. And for those of you
who were a little confused,Copy !req
252. uh, you are dead
and this is Hell.Copy !req
253. So abandon all hope and
yadda-yadda-yadda.Copy !req
254. Uh, we're now going to start
the orientation process
which will last about—Copy !req
255. Hey, wait a minute,
I shouldn't be here!Copy !req
256. I was a totally strict
and devout Protestant!Copy !req
257. I thought we went
to heaven!Copy !req
258. Yes, well, I'm afraid
you were wrong.Copy !req
259. I was a practicing
Jehovah's Witness.Copy !req
260. You picked
the wrong religion, as well.Copy !req
261. Well, who was right?
Who gets into heaven?Copy !req
262. I'm afraid it was
the Mormons.Copy !req
263. Yes, the Mormons
were the correct answer.Copy !req
264. Aw!
Aw!Copy !req
265. So now, I'd like to
quickly introduceCopy !req
266. your new ruler and master
for eternity, Satan.Copy !req
267. Rrrarrghghh!Copy !req
268. Aaaahghgh!
Aaaahghgh!Copy !req
269. Now you are all
part of my domain!Copy !req
270. Every day Hell grows larger
and my minions...Copy !req
271. My minions...Copy !req
272. I'm sorry, I just
can't do this today.Copy !req
273. I'm just—
I'm sorry.Copy !req
274. Uh, okay,
thank you Satan.Copy !req
275. Satan!Copy !req
276. Excuse me, excuse me.Copy !req
277. Chris, but I thought
you were dead!Copy !req
278. Yeah, well, where was
I gonna go, Detroit?Copy !req
279. Chris I didn't mean for
Saddam to stab you—Copy !req
280. Hey, it's alright.Copy !req
281. All that matters is
that I'm backCopy !req
282. and we're together
forever, right?Copy !req
283. Uh, yeah, great.Copy !req
284. Aw!
Aw!Copy !req
285. Let's see,
Matthew 15:1-1.Copy !req
286. "Not that which goeth
into the mouth defileth a man,Copy !req
287. but that which come out
of the mouth defileth a man."Copy !req
288. That's a good one,
Clyde frog, interesting.Copy !req
289. Look, Eric, Sister Anne
has come to visit you.Copy !req
290. Yea, it is nice
to see you, Sister,Copy !req
291. but I must prepare
for my next sermon.Copy !req
292. Eric, you need to stop
what you're doing.Copy !req
293. You need to tell all the kids
to go back to schoolCopy !req
294. and back to their
normal lives.Copy !req
295. Sister, have you read
this book?Copy !req
296. Yes, Eric, a lot more
than you have.Copy !req
297. Then you know what it says
happens to those that don't
follow the Lord-a.Copy !req
298. Eric, the Lord doesn't just
send everybody to Hell.Copy !req
299. That wouldn't make sense.Copy !req
300. He wants people
to live their lives.Copy !req
301. Are you saying that what
the Bible says isn't true?Copy !req
302. No!Copy !req
303. We've got Jews
and perverts and bulliesCopy !req
304. and all kinds of sinners
in this town, Sister Anne-a.Copy !req
305. And without the priest, we've
decided to save ourselves.Copy !req
306. The only ones the kids
can trust now are me and Jesus!Copy !req
307. Ugh!Copy !req
308. Wait a minute,
that's it!Copy !req
309. And I am going to save
all of you right now!Copy !req
310. I am going to
heal your sins!Copy !req
311. Whoa.Copy !req
312. Hello, Satan!
Oh, crap, it's you.Copy !req
313. Yeah, it's me.Copy !req
314. I thought I killed you.Copy !req
315. Yeah, well-Copy !req
316. where was I gonna go,
Detroit?Copy !req
317. Do you have a couple minutes
to go for a walk?Copy !req
318. A walk?Copy !req
319. Yeah, just real quick,
around the park or something.Copy !req
320. Is this some kind of trick?Copy !req
321. No, I just want you to go
for a quick walk with me.Copy !req
322. Please?Copy !req
323. Well, alright, just let me
grab something real quick.Copy !req
324. Okay, let's walk.Copy !req
325. Saddam,Copy !req
326. I get the feeling that
you don't like me very much.Copy !req
327. Gee, whatever
gave you that idea?Copy !req
328. When I stabbed you
in the head?Copy !req
329. Look, Satan is a very
important person to me.Copy !req
330. And I know he's an important
person to you, too.Copy !req
331. So don't you think it's best
for us to try and get along?Copy !req
332. I realize that some things
about me bother you,Copy !req
333. so I'd like to hear
what those things are,Copy !req
334. so that I can
work on them.Copy !req
335. You know why
I don't like you, Chris?Copy !req
336. Because you're
the kind of guy,Copy !req
337. who, if somebody
didn't like him,Copy !req
338. he would take them for a walk
in the park and ask them why.Copy !req
339. You're a pussy!Copy !req
340. Aaaaaaghhhhhh!Copy !req
341. Oh God!Copy !req
342. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
343. Nooo!
Aaghhgh!Copy !req
344. Agahgh!Copy !req
345. Ow!Copy !req
346. Blagh!Copy !req
347. Today this Jewish boy
and all sinners are
going to be saved-a!Copy !req
348. Kyle, do you
believe in God-a?Copy !req
349. Yes!Copy !req
350. Do you want to be
saved from Hell-a?Copy !req
351. Yes!Copy !req
352. That's good,
because right nowCopy !req
353. all the Jewness is
coming out of your body,Copy !req
354. being replaced by
the spirit of God-a!Copy !req
355. Bap!
- Ow!Copy !req
356. Praise God,
how do you feel now?Copy !req
357. Do you feel the light of God
inside of you?Copy !req
358. Uh, I think so.Copy !req
359. Praise the Lord!Copy !req
360. Yay!
Yay!Copy !req
361. Bring up the next person!Copy !req
362. This boy has been
crippled with sin.Copy !req
363. But I hear God saying
that this boy will walk!Copy !req
364. Hallelujah!Copy !req
365. Timmy!Copy !req
366. We are gonna save youCopy !req
367. and you are gonna walk
with the Lord-a!Copy !req
368. Timmy!Copy !req
369. Devil be gone-a!Copy !req
370. Hagh!Copy !req
371. Now walk, Timmy!Copy !req
372. Hagh!Copy !req
373. Come on, Timmy,
get out of that chair-a!Copy !req
374. The Lord wants you
to walk, Timmy!Copy !req
375. Walk, Timmy!Copy !req
376. Timmy!Copy !req
377. He walks!Copy !req
378. Wow!
Wow!Copy !req
379. Wagh!Copy !req
380. Yes, praise the Lord!Copy !req
381. Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!Copy !req
382. And now it's like there's
one guy who's horrible to me,Copy !req
383. but I'm totally
sexually attracted to,Copy !req
384. and then one guy who's
really nice to me,Copy !req
385. but I'm not sexually
attracted to at all!Copy !req
386. Wow, that really sucks.Copy !req
387. I've asked
everybody for advice,Copy !req
388. but nobody seems
to know the answer.Copy !req
389. Well, there's one person
who I always used to ask
when I needed advice.Copy !req
390. Who?Copy !req
391. God.Copy !req
392. God?
I can't do that.Copy !req
393. I haven't spoken to God
in, like, 5,000 years.Copy !req
394. Well then,
maybe it's time.Copy !req
395. Where are you from,
little boy?Copy !req
396. Denver.Copy !req
397. And God is telling me
that you have...Copy !req
398. Bad eyesight,
is that it?Copy !req
399. Yeah, that's right!Copy !req
400. Ohh!Copy !req
401. Well, God is going to
heal those eyesCopy !req
402. and save you from
the devil be gone-a!Copy !req
403. Hooray!Copy !req
404. Right here we have
a little girl who is
very, very ugly.Copy !req
405. Do you believe he's going to
cure your face of the uglies?Copy !req
406. Yes!Copy !req
407. He's gonna take
that ugly faceCopy !req
408. and make you reasonable
to look at bwap!Copy !req
409. Wrrrrrrrr!Copy !req
410. Oh good Lord,
somebody say amen!Copy !req
411. Amen!
Amen!Copy !req
412. Hi, hi, welcome
to Heaven, brother!Copy !req
413. You followed the Mormon faith
and so you've been let in!Copy !req
414. Uh, actually,
I'm just stopping by.Copy !req
415. Well, you picked
a great time!Copy !req
416. We've got
cookies and punchCopy !req
417. and were just about to
start playing charades!Copy !req
418. Hooray!
Hooray!Copy !req
419. And then Brother Stephen's
brought his guitarCopy !req
420. so we can sing songs about
how much it hurts to lie!Copy !req
421. Oooh!
Oooh!Copy !req
422. Uh, look, I just need
to talk with God.Copy !req
423. Is he around?Copy !req
424. Sure, all you have to do is
say his name and he's there.Copy !req
425. I'm so grateful for that.Copy !req
426. Me too!
Me too!Copy !req
427. Great, thanks.Copy !req
428. Uh, hello, God?Copy !req
429. It's uh...
Satan.Copy !req
430. Yea, look upon me
and know me.Copy !req
431. Hi, God.Copy !req
432. Hello, Satan.Copy !req
433. It's been
a long time.Copy !req
434. Yeah.Copy !req
435. What brings you here?Copy !req
436. Do you wish to mount your
unholy war against Heaven?Copy !req
437. No, I have a problem and
I need your advice.Copy !req
438. You want to rule
more than Hell?Copy !req
439. You want to destroy
the Earth?Copy !req
440. No, it's kind of
a long story but...Copy !req
441. Well, it all started
when this Iraqi dictator,
Saddam Hussein,Copy !req
442. was killed by
a pack of wild boars.Copy !req
443. I remember when I first
met him in Hell,Copy !req
444. it was a lovely morning
in April and...Copy !req
445. And now I am receiving
a message directly from God!Copy !req
446. God is telling me...Copy !req
447. That each and every one of you
is to walk up to this stageCopy !req
448. and give me one dollar!Copy !req
449. So, I want everyone
to feel the love of God
by coming on up hereCopy !req
450. and putting a dollar
in the box-a!Copy !req
451. Come on, don't be shy,
come on-a!Copy !req
452. Dude, that seems
kind of weird.Copy !req
453. Yeah, I don't remember him
saying anything about this.Copy !req
454. And now Chris and Saddam
just keep killing each other
over and overCopy !req
455. and I don't know
which one to pick!Copy !req
456. Jesus, what the Hell
happened to you?Copy !req
457. Huh?Copy !req
458. You got kicked outta here
for being a headstrong rebel.Copy !req
459. And now you're
a whiny little bitch.Copy !req
460. I just don't know
which one to pick!Copy !req
461. No, you've become dependent
on relationships,Copy !req
462. so you haven't even
considered the optionCopy !req
463. of not being with
either of them!Copy !req
464. If you're not sexually
attracted to someone,Copy !req
465. you're not ever
going to be.Copy !req
466. But Saddam
isn't right either.Copy !req
467. He's the other extreme.Copy !req
468. You need to
spend time alone,Copy !req
469. so that you can find
the balance the middle ground.Copy !req
470. That's what I always do,
because I'm a Buddhist.Copy !req
471. God, you're right.Copy !req
472. You know, I've had
steady relationshipsCopy !req
473. for the last
thousand years.Copy !req
474. When one ends,
I just start another one,Copy !req
475. but I haven't taken the time
to be secure with myself.Copy !req
476. Bingo.Copy !req
477. Hey, thanks, God.Copy !req
478. I forgot how clear
you make things sometimes.Copy !req
479. It was nice
to see you again, Satan.Copy !req
480. You, too.Copy !req
481. Good-bye.Copy !req
482. Would you like to stay
for some cookies and punch?Copy !req
483. Yes, would you?Copy !req
484. Uh, no, I need to be
getting back.Copy !req
485. Oh alright then, but you're
gonna miss our big play!Copy !req
486. Yes, we're going to do
a play about how alcohol
can ruin family life.Copy !req
487. Well, sounds great,
but I really gotta go.Copy !req
488. Well, he seemed
like a nice fellow.Copy !req
489. Yes!Copy !req
490. Let's make things
out of egg cartons!Copy !req
491. Ooh let's!
Good idea!Copy !req
492. Yeeess, yeeesss!Copy !req
493. It worked, you guys,
it actually worked!Copy !req
494. What worked?Copy !req
495. Everybody bought
the whole act!Copy !req
496. They'll keep giving and giving
until we have it all!Copy !req
497. What?
- What?Copy !req
498. You're keeping
that money yourself?Copy !req
499. Of course, you guys,
and then we can make...Copy !req
500. Ten million dollars!Copy !req
501. Look, the "Tooth Fairy"
thing didn't work,Copy !req
502. the "boy band" thing
didn't last, so I tried
this route.Copy !req
503. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.Copy !req
504. You mean that this whole thing
has just been a way for youCopy !req
505. to make
ten million dollars?Copy !req
506. It all came to me
days ago,Copy !req
507. when we were first
in Sunday School.Copy !req
508. But what about going
to Hell and all that?Copy !req
509. Dude, if God is
all-understanding,
he wouldn't send us to Hell.Copy !req
510. Even Sister Anne
told me that!Copy !req
511. Then why didn't
you tell us?Copy !req
512. My brain is of a much
larger size than you guys.Copy !req
513. I couldn't expect you
to understand.Copy !req
514. Not until you actually saw
the cash flow.Copy !req
515. The only thing of yours
that's larger in size
is your big fat ass!Copy !req
516. Suck my balls.Copy !req
517. Dude, I am so
disillusioned right now.Copy !req
518. Die, pussy!Copy !req
519. Ow!Copy !req
520. Aagh!Copy !req
521. Wagahgh!Copy !req
522. Aahh!Copy !req
523. Guys, guys, guys!Copy !req
524. Look, you both can
stop fighting now.Copy !req
525. I've made a decision.Copy !req
526. You have?Copy !req
527. Yes, I...Copy !req
528. Don't want to be with
either one of you.Copy !req
529. What?
- What?Copy !req
530. Saddam,
you're an assholeCopy !req
531. and you'll never be
the friend that I want.Copy !req
532. And Chris, well,
you're a pussyCopy !req
533. and you'll never be
the lover I want.Copy !req
534. So I'm just gonna be
alone for a while and
learn to like myself.Copy !req
535. Satan, can we go
for a walk in the park?Copy !req
536. No, I'm not going
on a walk.Copy !req
537. You're a pussy, Chris
and you drive me crazy,
go away.Copy !req
538. Fine.Copy !req
539. You can't leave me, Satan,
I won't let you!Copy !req
540. Today is another dayCopy !req
541. and that's another dollar
the Lord needs from you-a!Copy !req
542. So come on up and
give to the Lord-a!Copy !req
543. Alright, kids,
it's time to go!Copy !req
544. It's time for
this to stop.Copy !req
545. Sister Anne is
a blasphemaaa!Copy !req
546. I know you won't
listen to me.Copy !req
547. That's why I brought
somebody else.Copy !req
548. Wow!
Oohh!Copy !req
549. Jesus!Copy !req
550. Uh-oh.Copy !req
551. Kids, you all need to stop
spending all your time hereCopy !req
552. and go back to school.Copy !req
553. Jesus, ex-nay
on the ool-skay.Copy !req
554. God doesn't want you
to spend all your time
being afraid of HellCopy !req
555. or praising his name.Copy !req
556. God wants you to spend
your time helping othersCopy !req
557. and living a good,
happy life.Copy !req
558. That's how
you live for him.Copy !req
559. Yes, by doing that...Copy !req
560. And putting a dollar
in the box-a!Copy !req
561. Let's go ice skating!Copy !req
562. Yay!
Yay!Copy !req
563. We can help Timmy learn
how to ice skate, too.Copy !req
564. Yeah!Copy !req
565. No, come back!Copy !req
566. You face
everlasting damnation!Copy !req
567. Wait!Copy !req
568. No, no, I can't be
cheated out of my
ten million dollars again!Copy !req
569. God dammit!Copy !req
570. Serves you right,
Cartman!Copy !req
571. Yeah!Copy !req
572. But, Eric, I think this time
I have to teach you a lesson.Copy !req
573. I'm sending you somewhere
to think about your sins!Copy !req
574. You're gonna
send me to Hell?Copy !req
575. No, worse!Copy !req
576. Eric, Eric!Copy !req
577. Oh crap!Copy !req
578. Hi, Bob!
Hi, Rick!Copy !req
579. Hi, Satan.Copy !req
580. There you are!Copy !req
581. Ugh, not again.Copy !req
582. You know you can't
live without me!Copy !req
583. Now get that ass
back to bed!Copy !req
584. Saddam, I told you,
I don't need you anymore.Copy !req
585. You can't leave me, Satan.Copy !req
586. Nobody leaves me!Copy !req
587. Yes, I can!Copy !req
588. Agahgh!Copy !req
589. You little prick!Copy !req
590. Goodbye forever, Saddam!Copy !req
591. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
592. You can kill me,
but I'll be back tomorrow!Copy !req
593. Not this time!Copy !req
594. I asked a favor of
an old friend of mine
to let you in.Copy !req
595. Let me in where?Copy !req
596. What the-what the Hell
is this place?Copy !req
597. Hello and welcome!Copy !req
598. We're glad you
made it, brother!Copy !req
599. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
600. We're just about
to do a playCopy !req
601. about how much stealing
hurts you deep inside.Copy !req
602. Come join us!
Let's go!Copy !req
603. You're here forever!Copy !req
604. No!Copy !req
605. Noooooooooooo!Copy !req