1. I don't want to go
to this stupid party!Copy !req
2. Come on, Stan, you're
gonna have a great time.Copy !req
3. No, you guys are
gonna have a great time.Copy !req
4. Whenever
there's a party,Copy !req
5. the adults get to
hang out and have funCopy !req
6. while the kids spend the night
locked in the basementCopy !req
7. eating stale pretzels.Copy !req
8. Well, your mom and I don't
get out much,Copy !req
9. so you'll just have to
bear through it.Copy !req
10. Hello, welcome!
M'kay?Copy !req
11. This is already
a wild party!Copy !req
12. Yeah, well, sorry we had to
bring the kid along.Copy !req
13. We had nowhere
else to put him.Copy !req
14. Oh, that's okay, I've
got a special "kid's room"Copy !req
15. down in the basement!Copy !req
16. Aw!Copy !req
17. Be sure to help yourself
to the crab souffle and the—Copy !req
18. Juanita!Copy !req
19. Juanita!Copy !req
20. We need some more
finger sandwiches!Copy !req
21. I don't want to hang out
in the kids room.Copy !req
22. I won't know anybody!Copy !req
23. Well, it'll be good for you
to make new friends.Copy !req
24. You can't just hang out with
your buddy Kyle all the time.Copy !req
25. People will think
you guys are,Copy !req
26. you know... funny.Copy !req
27. I bet you'll
have a great time.Copy !req
28. Here we go,
it's right in here.Copy !req
29. We'll be upstairs
if you need anything, Stan.Copy !req
30. Dad, you can't leave me here
these guys are total melvins.Copy !req
31. Have fun, Stanley!Copy !req
32. No, Mom, please, they're the
geekiest kids at our school!Copy !req
33. We'll come get you kids
when the meteor shower starts.Copy !req
34. Cheerio, Stan!Copy !req
35. I do say, it's quite a nice
surprise seeing you here.Copy !req
36. Shut up, Pip.Copy !req
37. Hey Stan!Copy !req
38. Wow, I sure am
glad you're hereCopy !req
39. cuz then we'll have
even more fun thanCopy !req
40. we was havin' before.Copy !req
41. We were having an
awfully good timeCopy !req
42. before you showed up
too, however.Copy !req
43. Butters... Is there
a way out of here?Copy !req
44. Nope, no way out.Copy !req
45. But there ain't nothing upstairs
but a ol' stupid party anyways.Copy !req
46. It's better down here
in the kid's room!Copy !req
47. This here is Dougie.Copy !req
48. He's not too old but he
sure is a hoot to hang with!Copy !req
49. He's in first grade,
I think!Copy !req
50. I like math.Copy !req
51. Oh my god.Copy !req
52. We were just playing
a game calledCopy !req
53. "Wickershams 'n' Decklers"!
Do you want to play?Copy !req
54. No.Copy !req
55. I'm the head
Wicker-Knicker.Copy !req
56. And you are all
little Wickershams.Copy !req
57. We all sing the
"Merry Tune of Stratford"Copy !req
58. until I yell "churrah"!Copy !req
59. And then you all
fall down laughingCopy !req
60. and I join you as
I find it funny, too.Copy !req
61. Stan, would you be the
Wickershamble-Brumble Briar?Copy !req
62. Well, alright,
here we go...Copy !req
63. Great party,
Mr. Mackey!Copy !req
64. Mr. Hat just grabbed
Principal Victoria's ass!Copy !req
65. No! Mr. Hat,
you get back here!Copy !req
66. Anyone for some
meteor mai-tai punch?Copy !req
67. It packs
quite a wallop!Copy !req
68. Oh, I'll pass.Copy !req
69. I don't drink
hard alcohol.Copy !req
70. Come on, loosen up!Copy !req
71. Meteor showers only come
once in a great while!Copy !req
72. One little drink isn't
going to hurt anything, honey.Copy !req
73. Come on,
live a little!Copy !req
74. Well, it is kind of
a special night.Copy !req
75. I guess I
could... experiment.Copy !req
76. Yeah, experiment!Copy !req
77. Wickersham, tally ho!Copy !req
78. Are you sure you don't
want to play Stanley!Copy !req
79. Yes.Copy !req
80. What are you
a sour puss?Copy !req
81. You really
oughta play, Stan.Copy !req
82. It's an awfully
fun game.Copy !req
83. I've never
been to EnglandCopy !req
84. but I'll bet the people
there are real nice.Copy !req
85. Are people nice
in England, Pip?Copy !req
86. I bet they are, huh, they got
those thick noses and all.Copy !req
87. Hey, look at this!Copy !req
88. What is it?
Is it something neat?Copy !req
89. I wonder what
it could be?Copy !req
90. It's a box filled
with ladies clothes!Copy !req
91. Neat-o!Copy !req
92. Hey, you know what we could do
with these lady clothes?Copy !req
93. Why, we could play
"Charlie's Angels"!Copy !req
94. Oh, dude, you've
got to be kidding me.Copy !req
95. Oh, yes, let's!Copy !req
96. Can I be
Jaclyn Smith?Copy !req
97. Can I?Copy !req
98. No, I get to be
Jaclyn Smith.Copy !req
99. I thought of
"Charlie's Angels".Copy !req
100. I get to be Jaclyn Smith
cuz I thought of it.Copy !req
101. Oh, this sounds as fun as
"Wickershams 'n' Decklers".Copy !req
102. Come on angels,
let's get dressed!Copy !req
103. Which ladies garments
would you like, Stan?Copy !req
104. Dude, I'm not putting
on ladies' clothes.Copy !req
105. And I'm not playing
"Charlie's Angels".Copy !req
106. You guys are melvins,
and I'm not one of you.Copy !req
107. So you go ahead
and be melvinsCopy !req
108. and leave me alone.Copy !req
109. Well...
alrighty then.Copy !req
110. Here it is.Copy !req
111. I just had the hot tub
put in last week.Copy !req
112. Wow, neat!Copy !req
113. It looks
quite inviting!Copy !req
114. Yeah, you can get
a lot of actionCopy !req
115. when you have
a hot tub.Copy !req
116. Oh, Mr. Mackey,
you nut!Copy !req
117. Hell, we
should get in!Copy !req
118. Yeah!Copy !req
119. Sure go ahead,
it's a party isn't it, m'kay!Copy !req
120. Oh I'm not
hot-tubbing.Copy !req
121. I have nothing to wear.Copy !req
122. That's okay!Copy !req
123. No hot tub for me.Copy !req
124. Well, screw you guys!Copy !req
125. I'm getting
in for a while too!Copy !req
126. Geronimo!Copy !req
127. Oh, look at
our boys, Sheila!Copy !req
128. It's just like they're
in college again!Copy !req
129. Okay angels, what's
our mission this week?Copy !req
130. I don't know what
our mission is.Copy !req
131. Do you know what our mission is,
little first grade kid?Copy !req
132. How should I know?Copy !req
133. Oh, dear...Copy !req
134. We're Charlie's Angels but
we don't have a mission.Copy !req
135. Hey, that's because
we need Bosley.Copy !req
136. Bosley always told the angels
what their mission was.Copy !req
137. Remember Bosley?Copy !req
138. We need somebody
to be Bosley.Copy !req
139. What?Copy !req
140. Well, we hate to
trouble you, Stan,Copy !req
141. but would you mind terribly
being Bosley for us?Copy !req
142. What do I
have to do?Copy !req
143. You just gotta tell us
what our mission is.Copy !req
144. That's all.Copy !req
145. That's all Bosley does.Copy !req
146. Just give a mission and us
angels will accomplish it.Copy !req
147. Alright, alright,
here's your mission...Copy !req
148. In ten minutes this room is
going to fill up with waterCopy !req
149. and drown everybody.Copy !req
150. You have to find me
a way out of this room, fast.Copy !req
151. Oh, that's a
splendid mission!Copy !req
152. Well, what are we
waiting for?Copy !req
153. We gotta find a way
out of this room, by golly,Copy !req
154. or else we're all
gonna get drowned!Copy !req
155. Come on, angels!Copy !req
156. Which angel
am I, again?Copy !req
157. Oh boy, it's nice to have a
night off without the kids.Copy !req
158. Yeah, I know
what you mean.Copy !req
159. I love having a
family and all,Copy !req
160. I just miss being
able to party.Copy !req
161. Drinking and socializing,Copy !req
162. experimenting with all
kinds of different things.Copy !req
163. Well that's what
being young is all about.Copy !req
164. Once you have a
family and a career,Copy !req
165. your experimenting
days are over.Copy !req
166. But tonight
is the exception!Copy !req
167. That's why I'm gonna
smoke this cigar,Copy !req
168. only 'cause I've
never smoked before!Copy !req
169. Good idea!Copy !req
170. What haven't you tried that
you've always wanted to try?Copy !req
171. I don't know...Copy !req
172. Maybe I'll drink
a few more beersCopy !req
173. and see where
the party takes me!Copy !req
174. Yeah!Copy !req
175. Was that your leg?Copy !req
176. Huh?Copy !req
177. Oh, you mean this?Copy !req
178. Yeah.Copy !req
179. Yeah, that was me.Copy !req
180. Bosley! Bosley!Copy !req
181. What, Pip?Copy !req
182. Oh, no no no...Copy !req
183. My name is
"Sabrina Duncan".Copy !req
184. Remember,
we're playing "Charlie's Angels".Copy !req
185. What the hell
do you want?Copy !req
186. Well, we've
completed our mission.Copy !req
187. Jill found
a way upstairs.Copy !req
188. He did?Copy !req
189. Airshaft.Copy !req
190. Dougie pushed that big box
out of the wayCopy !req
191. and found this old
ventilation duct.Copy !req
192. I reckon' it's
got to lead somewhereCopy !req
193. and it's good 'cause
now we won't drown!Copy !req
194. So, Bosley,
what's our next mission?Copy !req
195. We're going upstairs!Copy !req
196. Upstairs?Copy !req
197. Why there ain't nothin'
upstairs but adultsCopy !req
198. why would we wanna
go upstairs for?Copy !req
199. Because, you stupid melvins,Copy !req
200. they have rad food
and desserts upstairs!Copy !req
201. Hey, did you see Principal Victoria
in there?Copy !req
202. She looks hot!Copy !req
203. She sure does!Copy !req
204. I wouldn't mind
taking that home!Copy !req
205. Oh yeah, I'm sure your
wife would love that!Copy !req
206. I wish!Copy !req
207. That's the one thing I've always
thought of experimenting with.Copy !req
208. A threesome!Copy !req
209. With two girls
or two guys?Copy !req
210. Well, two girls, of course!Copy !req
211. I mean—Copy !req
212. with another guy, you know,
that'd be...Copy !req
213. You never had a
homosexual fantasy?Copy !req
214. Not that I have.Copy !req
215. You haven't?Copy !req
216. No, I mean.Copy !req
217. Well, they say everybody
has at some point...Copy !req
218. don't they?Copy !req
219. Well, I never really
wanted to experimentCopy !req
220. with anything
too crazy.Copy !req
221. You know, maybe just...
I don't know...Copy !req
222. masturbate in front
of another guy...Copy !req
223. Yeah, well...Copy !req
224. That's not
really gay, is it?Copy !req
225. No, no. I-I don't
think so...Copy !req
226. Well, it is a night
for experimenting.Copy !req
227. It sure is!Copy !req
228. Okay, I'll start.Copy !req
229. This must be
the place.Copy !req
230. They've got all kinds of
crazy things going on in there.Copy !req
231. Code Seven.Copy !req
232. We believe we have
found the compound.Copy !req
233. Request immediate backup.Copy !req
234. Okay, so just what is
going on here, people?Copy !req
235. Get down!Copy !req
236. What?Copy !req
237. It's just like
we told you, officer.Copy !req
238. There is a religious cult
in thereCopy !req
239. that plans to
commit mass suicideCopy !req
240. when the
meteor shower starts.Copy !req
241. Are you sure?Copy !req
242. Of course,
we're sure!Copy !req
243. We're the Bureau of Alcohol,
Tobacco and Firearms!Copy !req
244. It's our job to know
what these fanatics do!Copy !req
245. So what does the ATF do
when religious fanaticsCopy !req
246. are gonna commit
mass suicide?Copy !req
247. Oh don't worry, we
won't let that happen.Copy !req
248. Even if it means
we have to killCopy !req
249. each and every
one of them.Copy !req
250. What's the situation?Copy !req
251. Apparently we've got at least five dozen
men and women in thereCopy !req
252. who intend to commit suicide
when the meteor shower starts.Copy !req
253. Any luck talking to
somebody in the house?Copy !req
254. We've tried calling
but there's no answer.Copy !req
255. I think we're gonna
have to move in, sir.Copy !req
256. Alright, Johnson!Copy !req
257. Sir!Copy !req
258. I'm sending you in,
watch your ass.Copy !req
259. Yes sir!Copy !req
260. Oh, come on in
join the party, m'kay?Copy !req
261. Would you like a
meteor mai tai?Copy !req
262. Hey, I love mai tais!Copy !req
263. We did it!
Great job, angels!Copy !req
264. So what's our mission
now, huh, Bosley?Copy !req
265. What do you want us
to do now, I wonder?Copy !req
266. Alright, angels...Copy !req
267. Your next mission is to
get Bosley some cookiesCopy !req
268. and a TV set.Copy !req
269. What kind of cookies
do you want, Bosley?Copy !req
270. I don't care,
just hurry!Copy !req
271. Hooray!Copy !req
272. So... well...
that was certainly...Copy !req
273. Interesting.Copy !req
274. Yeah...Copy !req
275. You don't regret
doing it now, do you?Copy !req
276. No, no...Copy !req
277. What's there
to regret, right?Copy !req
278. I mean...Copy !req
279. All we did was
watch each other...Copy !req
280. masturbate.Copy !req
281. That's not gay
or anything.Copy !req
282. We said so, right?Copy !req
283. That's right.Copy !req
284. It was just harmless
experimenting.Copy !req
285. Well, let's just get
back into the partyCopy !req
286. and see what
everybody's doing.Copy !req
287. Hey...Copy !req
288. Nothing changes
between us, right?Copy !req
289. I mean, we're
still friends?Copy !req
290. Oh, yeah, yeah,
sure, sure.Copy !req
291. Damnit,
where is Johnson?Copy !req
292. No communication, sir.Copy !req
293. It doesn't look
good for him.Copy !req
294. Those bastards!Copy !req
295. Great party, Mr. Mackey,
thank you so much.Copy !req
296. Are you sure you
have to leave so early?Copy !req
297. We both have to be up early
tomorrow, but thanks again!Copy !req
298. M'kay, drive carefully, m'kay.Copy !req
299. Hold it right there!Copy !req
300. Whatever it is
you are intending to do.Copy !req
301. Do not do it.Copy !req
302. Your freaky religious cult
will not succeed in its plan!Copy !req
303. What?Copy !req
304. Do not move or
we will be forced to shoot—Copy !req
305. Goddamnit who was that?Copy !req
306. Did you see them move?Copy !req
307. I did.Copy !req
308. Yeah.Copy !req
309. Yeah, they
moved alright.Copy !req
310. Well, I'll
tell you what,Copy !req
311. we may not have
Elway this yearCopy !req
312. but Brister won every game
he started in last year!Copy !req
313. That's true, but Elway was
the heart of the team.Copy !req
314. Who's the leader now?Copy !req
315. I think the Jets are
gonna be the team to beatCopy !req
316. this year
in the AFC.Copy !req
317. Yeah.Copy !req
318. Hey, if you watch
another guy masturbateCopy !req
319. does that make you gay?Copy !req
320. What?Copy !req
321. Well, I just—
I have this buddy...Copy !req
322. And he sat and watched
another guy play with himself...Copy !req
323. Well...Copy !req
324. Let's go
kick his ass!Copy !req
325. Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
326. Where is he?Copy !req
327. Oh, he lives
in like...Copy !req
328. Florida.Copy !req
329. Aw!Copy !req
330. Hey Randy,
what are you doing?Copy !req
331. Nothing.Copy !req
332. Uh... I'm gonna
go get some chips.Copy !req
333. Can I come with you?Copy !req
334. Okay...Copy !req
335. Come right on
in here, Bosley!Copy !req
336. It was my idea.Copy !req
337. I got to thinkin',
"where do people keep TV sets"Copy !req
338. and then I remembered
that lots of grown-upsCopy !req
339. have TVs in
their bedrooms,Copy !req
340. so I walked into
Mr. Mackey's bedroomCopy !req
341. and sure enough
here it was.Copy !req
342. Rad!Copy !req
343. Okay, Bosley, we got you
cookies and a TV set.Copy !req
344. So what's our
next mission?Copy !req
345. There are
no more missions.Copy !req
346. I have everything I want.Copy !req
347. We ain't got
no more missions?Copy !req
348. What are we
supposed to do?Copy !req
349. We're angels!Copy !req
350. What do angels do
without missions?Copy !req
351. Just play
something else!Copy !req
352. God!Copy !req
353. Oh, dear. We've
angered Bosley.Copy !req
354. Tom, I'm standing
in front of a houseCopy !req
355. where a religious cult is
planning to commit mass suicideCopy !req
356. when the meteor shower starts.Copy !req
357. Whoa, cool!Copy !req
358. I wanna be
a reporter someday!Copy !req
359. Just moments ago, a couple
emerged from the house—Copy !req
360. according to the ATF,
the couple refused to cooperate,Copy !req
361. then pulled out very big guns
and started shooting everyone.Copy !req
362. The ATF had no choice but
to shoot the insane couple,Copy !req
363. and now a standoff has ensued.Copy !req
364. Oooh! Looks like
that cultCopy !req
365. is about to be
blown to tiny bits!Copy !req
366. The ATF commander tells
that he has reason to believeCopy !req
367. there may be
children inside—Copy !req
368. Wait a minute...Copy !req
369. Oh my God!Copy !req
370. Dude, that's this house!Copy !req
371. They think our parents
are the religious cult!Copy !req
372. Do you think someday
I could be a reporter?Copy !req
373. We just received a photo
from the recon team,Copy !req
374. of the action
inside the house,Copy !req
375. showing evidence
that there are indeedCopy !req
376. innocent children
trapped inside.Copy !req
377. Those sick
cult-fanatic bastards!Copy !req
378. Dude!Copy !req
379. Hey, our parents aren't
religious fantastics.Copy !req
380. Why, we gotta
tell themCopy !req
381. they're making an
awful mistake, don't we.Copy !req
382. Yes, come on angels!Copy !req
383. Looks like we have
a new mission!Copy !req
384. Randy, you're really
making me feel unimportant.Copy !req
385. Talk... talk,
damn you.Copy !req
386. Look, I'm just
having a hard timeCopy !req
387. with what we did
in the hot tub.Copy !req
388. So now we can't
be friends?Copy !req
389. I didn't say that.Copy !req
390. I mean...
I don't know...Copy !req
391. I-I just feel
so strange.Copy !req
392. I know it's ridiculousCopy !req
393. but I can't help feeling
like people here know.Copy !req
394. You know?Copy !req
395. Even though
nobody could knowCopy !req
396. 'cause we said
we'd never tell anybody.Copy !req
397. We said we'd
never tell anybody?Copy !req
398. Well, of course
we wouldn't!Copy !req
399. Oh... I didn't
realize that.Copy !req
400. You didn't tell
anybody did you?Copy !req
401. Well... a few
people, yeah!Copy !req
402. What?Copy !req
403. Why the hell
would you do that?Copy !req
404. You didn't say
not to tell anyone!Copy !req
405. Well of course I thought
it would be implied!Copy !req
406. When you masturbate
with another guy in a hot tubCopy !req
407. you assume that nobody's
going to tell anybody!Copy !req
408. Listen to you,
you're yelling at me.Copy !req
409. You've never
yelled at me before.Copy !req
410. Aarggh!Copy !req
411. Hey, you guys!Copy !req
412. We've got
a big problem!Copy !req
413. The ATF is outside
and they thinkCopy !req
414. you're all a
religious cult!Copy !req
415. You gotta go
talk to them!Copy !req
416. Raise the roof!Copy !req
417. How come they're
acting that way, Stan?Copy !req
418. How come they're laughing
and falling down and such?Copy !req
419. Mom, go look outside!Copy !req
420. Mommy's little
poopy-kins!Copy !req
421. Let me handle this, Stan.Copy !req
422. Now listen up,
and listen good, everyone.Copy !req
423. Why, I'm awful
disappointed in youCopy !req
424. drinkin' and carryin' on
this way.Copy !req
425. You should be
ashamed of yourselves.Copy !req
426. If you don't get
outside right now,Copy !req
427. and tell those army guys you're
not religious fantastics,Copy !req
428. there's gonna be
heck to pay.Copy !req
429. Heck, I tell you.Copy !req
430. C'mon, we're gonna have to
go tell 'em ourselves.Copy !req
431. Lay down your weapons.Copy !req
432. We don't have
any weapons.Copy !req
433. Go back inside and tell everyone
that they are surrounded.Copy !req
434. Tell them to
come out peacefully,Copy !req
435. and we will not
shoot them!Copy !req
436. Argghh!
- Get back inside!Copy !req
437. I don't think
they're gonna come out.Copy !req
438. Use the
"Gans technique".Copy !req
439. What's the
"Gans technique"?Copy !req
440. This what
we did in Waco.Copy !req
441. Play really bad music
really loudCopy !req
442. until it drives 'em nuts and
makes them want to come out.Copy !req
443. Nobody can stand
this much Cher!Copy !req
444. This is her new album.Copy !req
445. If this doesn't drive
them out, nothing will!Copy !req
446. That's great music,
Mr. Mackey, what is that?Copy !req
447. This is Cher,
this is her new album.Copy !req
448. Well, hell,
turn it up!Copy !req
449. Yeah, well you know
what I heard?Copy !req
450. I heard that he's gay.Copy !req
451. Oh, is he?Copy !req
452. Who?Copy !req
453. Huh?Copy !req
454. Who did you hear is gay?Copy !req
455. Ricky Martin,
the singer.Copy !req
456. Oh.Copy !req
457. Hey, Randy
what's up?Copy !req
458. What the hell is
that supposed to mean?
- Huh?Copy !req
459. Look, shouldn't you be hanging
out with your wife right now?Copy !req
460. I just felt like
talking to you.Copy !req
461. There's nothing
to talk about.Copy !req
462. You're having regrets,
aren't you?Copy !req
463. No...Copy !req
464. I don't know.Copy !req
465. Hey... talk to me.Copy !req
466. No!Copy !req
467. I thought we agreed what
happened in the hot tubCopy !req
468. wouldn't change
our relationship.Copy !req
469. Will you stop it?Copy !req
470. I don't...
I just...Copy !req
471. Hey "Mister Withdrawn",Copy !req
472. you might not need to
talk about it, but I sure do.Copy !req
473. Arrgh!Copy !req
474. Sharon, Sharon.
Can we go?Copy !req
475. Go?Copy !req
476. The meteor shower
hasn't even started yet!Copy !req
477. I know.Copy !req
478. But I want to make love to you,
right now.Copy !req
479. I have to make love
to you right now.Copy !req
480. Randy, relax.Copy !req
481. We don't ever get to party,
now come on, loosen up!Copy !req
482. Experiment!Copy !req
483. I already did.Copy !req
484. Dad, Dad,
they shot at us!Copy !req
485. Not now, Stan.Copy !req
486. Mom!Copy !req
487. Whoopie!Copy !req
488. Hey, what are we
gonna do, huh?Copy !req
489. They shot at us!Copy !req
490. They really shot at us!Copy !req
491. They ain't gonna stop until
we're all dead I bet'cha!Copy !req
492. Us and all
our families.Copy !req
493. Get a hold
of yourself, man!Copy !req
494. How come you slapped
my face, Stan, huh?Copy !req
495. What on earth would you go
and do that for anyways?Copy !req
496. Come on, we have to find out
what's happening!Copy !req
497. I am standing now
with Danny Ganz,Copy !req
498. the commander of the ATF.Copy !req
499. Commander,
what is the latest?Copy !req
500. We have not had any cooperation
with the cult inside the house.Copy !req
501. They are refusing
to come out,Copy !req
502. and apparently, they still
plan to commit mass suicideCopy !req
503. once the
meteor shower starts,Copy !req
504. which should be
any moment now.Copy !req
505. See how reporters get
to wear those cool jackets?Copy !req
506. That's why I
wanna be a reporter!Copy !req
507. So what are your
plans, commander?Copy !req
508. Right now our plan
is to burn the house down.Copy !req
509. If we set it on fire,Copy !req
510. they'll have no choice
but to come out.Copy !req
511. Oh dear god, they're
gonna set us on fire!Copy !req
512. Oh great Jesus,
son of Mary, wife of Joseph
what are we gonna do?Copy !req
513. Oh sweet Joseph husband to Mary
but not father of sweet Jesus!Copy !req
514. Shhh!Copy !req
515. Setting them on fire seems a
little dangerous, commander.Copy !req
516. It is...Copy !req
517. But we can't let them
kill themselves.Copy !req
518. We have to let them know
this isn't a cult party!Copy !req
519. But we can't, they'll
just shoot at us again!Copy !req
520. They're gonna burn us up and
act like nothing happened.Copy !req
521. Oh sweet Jesus,
Mary mother of Jesus
wife of Joseph, father to Mary...Copy !req
522. Wait...
Mary wife of...Copy !req
523. Hold on.Copy !req
524. C'mon angels, we've
got a new mission.Copy !req
525. And this time...
it's for real.Copy !req
526. For hours now the ATF
has tried to communicateCopy !req
527. with the religious fanatics
inside this house.Copy !req
528. The meteor shower is expected
to begin at any moment,Copy !req
529. and so time is
running out.Copy !req
530. Oh look, Harold's
doing it again!Copy !req
531. This is Jill Monroe
reporting liveCopy !req
532. from inside the
meteor shower party.Copy !req
533. As you can see, this is a
perfectly normal party.Copy !req
534. Nobody is killing themselves.Copy !req
535. We tried to tell ATF people
but they shot at us...Copy !req
536. Anything else?Copy !req
537. Tell 'em not
to burn us down.Copy !req
538. Oh yeah,
don't burn us, please.Copy !req
539. Jill Monroe,
GFN news.Copy !req
540. Now, what
do we do?Copy !req
541. Now we find a way to get this
tape out to the re a I reporters.Copy !req
542. Hey, I'm a
real reporter!Copy !req
543. You're right,
you are, Dougie.Copy !req
544. You did an awesome job.Copy !req
545. Attention cult people,
do not commit mass suicide.Copy !req
546. There are so many reasons
not to kill yourselves.Copy !req
547. Flowers, for instance.Copy !req
548. And back rubs.Copy !req
549. Alright, I'm through
trying to reason with them!Copy !req
550. Send in
the negotiator!Copy !req
551. Uh, excuse me, but
what proof do you haveCopy !req
552. that those people inside
are religious fanatics?Copy !req
553. We know what
we're doing!Copy !req
554. We did this
all before in Waco!Copy !req
555. Yes, but you totally
screwed up Waco.Copy !req
556. You killed a bunch of
innocent peopleCopy !req
557. and then tried to say
they killed themselves.Copy !req
558. Look, you see this?Copy !req
559. You see this?Copy !req
560. Yes.Copy !req
561. You see it,
you see it?Copy !req
562. Go get it!Copy !req
563. Go get it!Copy !req
564. Alright, let's get ready to kick
some religious-fanatic-ass!Copy !req
565. Having a good time?Copy !req
566. Yeah, swell.Copy !req
567. Could I just...
have a few minutes alone?Copy !req
568. I'm not gonna let you
change on me, Randy.Copy !req
569. Just because we shared
an intimate moment in the hot tub—Copy !req
570. We did not share
an intimate moment, okay?Copy !req
571. That makes it
sound gay.Copy !req
572. Goodnight, everyone.Copy !req
573. Look out!Copy !req
574. Hold your fire!Copy !req
575. Okay...Copy !req
576. People at the door,
that was a warning.Copy !req
577. Go back inside
and tell the othersCopy !req
578. that they now have
one minute to surrender.Copy !req
579. Oh no, we're
out of time!Copy !req
580. Are you sure you can
do this, Butters?Copy !req
581. No, I'm not sure, I'm not sure
at all, what am I doing again?Copy !req
582. We're just gonna slide you
down this rope,Copy !req
583. and then you gotta
get our exclusive videoCopy !req
584. to that reporter
down there.Copy !req
585. That sounds
awful dangerous.Copy !req
586. Can you hit
a target, Pip?Copy !req
587. I was Archery Class
Esquire in Stratfordshire!Copy !req
588. Hit something
nice and solid, now.Copy !req
589. I think
that's got it!Copy !req
590. Nice job, Pip!Copy !req
591. Did I do a
nice job, really?Copy !req
592. Alright, Butters,
now it's your turn.Copy !req
593. I don't know about this,
I think I'll reconsider.Copy !req
594. Yup, I think reconsidering is
the thing to do right now...Copy !req
595. Whoaa!Copy !req
596. Whooooa!Copy !req
597. He made it down!Copy !req
598. Alright, people, prepare to fire
on my command!Copy !req
599. Mr. Reporter, sir!Copy !req
600. Huh?Copy !req
601. We've got an eyewitness
exclusive video for you, sir.Copy !req
602. Honey...Copy !req
603. God, everybody's
looking at me.Copy !req
604. Everybody knows!Copy !req
605. Everybody doesn't know.Copy !req
606. And why are you
so ashamed of me?Copy !req
607. What's happened to you?Copy !req
608. You've become all needy
and talkative and—Copy !req
609. I just want to know it
meant something to you.Copy !req
610. It didn't mean
anything to me, Jerry!Copy !req
611. All we did was watch each other
masturbate in the hot tub!Copy !req
612. Aw, I was just in
the hot tub!Copy !req
613. Yeah, yeah! it's true.Copy !req
614. I thought it would be exciting
and maybe it was,Copy !req
615. but I can't deal with
your accusing stares!Copy !req
616. We watched each other
jack off in the hot tub!Copy !req
617. There, we did it!Copy !req
618. I'm not proud of it,
but there it is!Copy !req
619. Well, it's not like
you're the only guyCopy !req
620. who's ever watched
another guy masturbate.Copy !req
621. I've done it.Copy !req
622. Me too.Copy !req
623. Yeah, I've done
that a few times.Copy !req
624. Yup...Copy !req
625. Me too...Copy !req
626. Uh-huh, yep.Copy !req
627. Aw hell, I've
done it, too...Copy !req
628. With Cameron, here.Copy !req
629. Juanita could you fix
some more dip, Juanita?Copy !req
630. You mean it?Copy !req
631. I'm not gay?Copy !req
632. Well, maybe a little.Copy !req
633. But we're all
a little gay.Copy !req
634. Oh I feel
so much better!Copy !req
635. Wow!Copy !req
636. So we're
friends again?Copy !req
637. You bet we are, Jerry!Copy !req
638. I feel great!Copy !req
639. I feel like I could
take on the world!Copy !req
640. Everything's
gonna be okay!Copy !req
641. Alright, everyone. Fire!Copy !req
642. Hold on,
just a minute!Copy !req
643. This is Derek Smalls reporting.Copy !req
644. We have just received an
exclusive videoCopy !req
645. from inside the house,Copy !req
646. proving that the people inside
are not cultists after all!Copy !req
647. Uh-oh...Copy !req
648. Uh, attention everyone
this has only been a test!Copy !req
649. Good job,
men on this,Copy !req
650. uh, simulation.Copy !req
651. Simulation?Copy !req
652. All is well,
do not shoot at—Copy !req
653. Oh, I believe
we saved the day!Copy !req
654. Oops.Copy !req
655. Sir, this isn't
gonna look good.Copy !req
656. You're right—Copy !req
657. Quick, let's
get out of here!Copy !req
658. Say, that was a fine
piece of journalism, boys.Copy !req
659. Wow, you mean it?Copy !req
660. Sure, why with your tape
I'll be able to make millionsCopy !req
661. and further my career
beyond my wildest dreams.Copy !req
662. Oh, hooray, then!Copy !req
663. Well, angels, I must say
I think we did a smashing job!Copy !req
664. We sure did!Copy !req
665. Why, we put the fear of God
in those ATF sons-of-guns,Copy !req
666. I can tell you.Copy !req
667. But you know, I learned
something today...Copy !req
668. I used to call
you guys melvins.Copy !req
669. But you're
just kids, like me.Copy !req
670. We separate you in school,
because you talk different,Copy !req
671. or you
study too hard...Copy !req
672. But we've proven tonight
that we can all get along.Copy !req
673. So you mean we can
stay friends, Stan?Copy !req
674. Wouldn't that
be swell, huh?Copy !req
675. Dude, am I glad
to see you.Copy !req
676. You would not believe
the night I had.Copy !req
677. You?Copy !req
678. You think you
had a bad night?Copy !req
679. I had to hang out all night
with these friggin' melvins!Copy !req
680. Oh, dude, weak.Copy !req
681. Super weak.Copy !req
682. Come on, I'll tell you all about
what happened to me.Copy !req