1. You guys, listen
to this song I just wrote.
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2. It's called
"I Hate You Guys".
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3. Okay, now let's
try one all together.
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4. Come on, you guys
know the words!
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5. This is sweet,
being rugged outdoorsmen.
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6. Facing the wilderness,
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7. not having to be home
until 8:30.
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8. Where are you going?
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9. I'm going home
for a minute.
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10. I have to go
to the bathroom.
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11. Just go
behind the trees.
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12. I have to go number two.
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13. So?
You can poo in the wilderness.
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14. No way, dude.
What would I wipe with?
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15. Cartman, don't be
such a baby.
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16. We're supposed to be
rugged outdoorsmen.
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17. What do I sit on?
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18. You just squat,
stupid.
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19. Not here.
Go further away!
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20. God,
I'm glad you guys know
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21. all these
"pooping outside" rules.
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22. Come on, now.
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23. Watch out
for ground eels!
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24. Shut up, you guys.
I can't think!
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25. What do you have
to think about?
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26. I have to think about
planes dropping bombs
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27. and dump trucks
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28. and soft-serve
ice cream.
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29. Ah, that did it!
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30. Sick, dude!
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31. Hey, Kenny, can I borrow
one of your gloves?
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32. Mrph rhm.
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33. Mrph rmh!
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34. What the...
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35. Oohma kooba!
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36. Oh my God, you guys,
come look at this!
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37. We don't want
to look at it, Cartman!
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38. You guys,
get over here!
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39. No way, dude!
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40. I'm seriously!
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41. Look, over by those bushes!
- What?
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42. Meesa scared!
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43. I see it!
- Come on, let's kill it!
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44. Aw, Cartman!
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45. You're supposed to bury it!
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46. Look at this sword...
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47. Offered only here
on House Shopping Network.
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48. It's got a dragon
on the blade!
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49. It's got a dragon painted
right on the blade.
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50. Used by
the samurai of Japan...
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51. Ned, how the hell could you
lose your voice box?
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52. I can't hear you, Ned.
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53. You don't have a trachea.
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54. You smoked too much.
You had it removed.
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55. And then you drank
too much,
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56. and you lost
your God damn voice box, Ned.
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57. Shut... up... Jim-bo.
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58. Aw, Ned, don't burp-talk.
That just sicks me out.
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59. It went this way!
Over here!
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60. Come on, you guys.
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61. What the hell's
going on?
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62. Uncle Jimbo, Cartman found
some animal creature.
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63. It ran over that way!
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64. Hold on,
I'll get my shotgun!
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65. Ned!
Ned, come on!
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66. Where'd it go?
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67. It just ran by here
a second ago!
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68. Sounds like it ran
into the ostrich trap!
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69. Shh! Now, keep quiet.
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70. Alright, I'm gonna
turn my flashlight on.
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71. It may get startled,
so be ready.
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72. Ooba dagga!
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73. Holy crow!
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74. I've never seen
anything like it!
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75. Meesa gonna die?
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76. Whoo-woop!
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77. Hey, that thing's funny!
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78. It's stupid.
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79. Well, let's kill it!
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80. No!
No, don't.
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81. Huh?
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82. I like it.
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83. You don't like
anything, Cartman!
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84. Well, alright...
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85. Ned, get the mayor
on the phone,
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86. tell her that we—
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87. Oh, yeah, he can't talk.
Never mind, I'll do it.
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88. Yeah, it was like wrestling
a Louisiana alligator,
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89. this thing!
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90. Put up
one hell of a fight!
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91. Hello, there.
Who's the cute baby?
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92. Who's the fuzzy, huh?
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93. Yes, that's a cutie.
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94. Mayor, we're from
the Department of Interior.
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95. Oh, yes.
How are you?
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96. Fine, just fine.
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97. Fine, just fine.
- Fine.
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98. Right over here.
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99. My God, McClannon.
Do you believe it?
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100. Meesa needs a Jakov!
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101. Gooo-wooop!
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102. It's amazing!
- What?
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103. Mayor,
this is a Jakovasaur.
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104. A live one
has never been seen!
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105. Ooh, neato!
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106. Incredible!
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107. We know of this creature
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108. only from remains
found frozen in snow.
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109. Do you realize
what this means?
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110. We could use its DNA
and have a chance at bringing
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111. the entire Jakovasaur species
back from extinction.
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112. Wow, cool!
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113. Is... there... re... ward... money?
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114. Cut it out, Ned.
That's just disgusting!
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115. This one Jakovasaur
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116. could mother an entire
population of the animals.
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117. Well, in that case,
I think we should name it...
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118. "Hope."
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119. Hope.
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120. Yes, Hope!
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121. Meesa name "Junjun"!
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122. I think its name
is Junjun.
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123. Hope! Why, that's
a perfectly beautiful name!
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124. Now we must find
a safe place for it.
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125. I'll keep it
at my house.
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126. No, Garrison, you'll just try
to have sex with it.
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127. Wah?
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128. What?
How dare you say that!
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129. Garrison, you remember
what happened
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130. to the wounded pigeon you were
supposed to take care of?
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131. Oh, come on, you all know
that pigeon was a total slut.
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132. I've got a barn
it can stay in.
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133. It ain't much,
but it's heated.
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134. Well, that sounds fine,
just fine.
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135. Fine, just fine.
- Fine.
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136. Now wait a minute.
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137. I want
to clear the air here.
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138. We all know
that pigeon was a whore.
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139. Raise your hand if you
didn't sleep with that pigeon!
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140. Oh, whatever!
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141. it's got a dragon
painted on the blade.
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142. This is
the Tsumutomi sword...
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143. Wow, a dragon
right on the blade.
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144. Mom, can I get
a Tsumutomi sword
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145. used by the ancient
Tokugawa soldiers?
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146. I'll think about it, hon.
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147. Sweet.
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148. Mom, somebody's
at the door!
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149. Mommy's busy,
poopykins!
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150. Should I get it?
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151. Go ahead, snookums!
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152. It's probably one
of your little friends.
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153. Okay!
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154. Hmm.
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155. Okay, okay.
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156. Hold your horses.
God!
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157. Mom, it's another
Stark's Pond creature!
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158. That's nice, muffin!
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159. Please help me!
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160. W-w-whoa!
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161. Please help me
find Junjun.
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162. She has been gone
since last night,
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163. and I'm worried scared!
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164. You mean
the other Jakovasaur?
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165. What means
a Jakovasaur?
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166. You're a Jakovasaur.
That's what they call you.
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167. Oh.
Cool beans!
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168. But the other Jakovasaur
talked different.
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169. That's 'cause
Junjun's a girl.
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170. Girls talk different.
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171. I have to call my friends.
They're never gonna believe it.
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172. Please take me
to Junjun.
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173. We're the last
of our kind.
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174. There are only two
of us left.
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175. He's the last
of his kind, you guys.
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176. There's only two
of them left.
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177. Did you smoke
some of your mom's crack?
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178. Will you stop with the whole
"mom smoking crack" thing?
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179. That's a old joke.
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180. Eric,
do you have any more cookies?
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181. Who's that?
One of your mom's boyfriends?
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182. No, that was
the Jakovasaur.
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183. It's okay to come in!
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184. Wow!
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185. Jakov, I want you
to meet my friends.
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186. Hi, you guys.
I love new friends!
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187. Who-o-a!
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188. Aa-yah-yah-yah.
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189. Isn't he funny?
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190. No, he's annoying.
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191. What are we supposed
to do with him?
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192. We have to take him
to that rancher's barn
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193. to see his girlfriend.
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194. Why don't we just
tell our parents?
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195. No, adults
won't understand.
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196. We have
to do this ourselves!
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197. Shh!
Keep quiet.
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198. We could get in big trouble
for being here.
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199. Junjun!
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200. Shh!
Keep quiet, stupid!
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201. Oh, Junjun,
I'm so glad you're okay!
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202. Dude, have you ever heard
of whispering?
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203. I am whispering!
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204. Yeeeee-ow!
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205. You're so funny, Jakov.
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206. I am?
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207. Okay, Jakov,
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208. why don't you take boonga here
and go back to Stark's Pond?
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209. Oh, I don't know.
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210. This place is kinda nicer
than Stark's Pond.
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211. Ohh!
Wesa in big doo-doo now!
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212. Uh-oh!
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213. Hello, and welcome
to Voice Box Express,
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214. your number-one source
for voice boxes.
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215. I'm Amanda.
How may I help you?
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216. Yes, hello.
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217. Um, I... Lost...
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218. my... voice... box.
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219. Excuse me?
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220. I... lost...
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221. my... voice... box.
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222. Excuse me?
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223. I... lost... my... voice... box.
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224. Hey, Ned,
look what I bought you,
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225. a new voice box!
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226. You want it?
You want it?
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227. Yeah, there—
yeah, you want it?
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228. Alright,
here you go.
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229. Well, try it out!
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230. Aw, Jimbo.
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231. I can't thank you enough
for the new voice box.
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232. Now, what in the devil
is this thing?
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233. Oh, no, I must have picked up
the Irish model by mistake.
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234. Aw, what
a bloody pickle this is.
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235. Did you keep
the receipt, then?
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236. You guys, come quick.
I've only just heard!
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237. What?
What is it?
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238. They found another one!
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239. They found
another Jakovasaur.
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240. Oh, blimey!
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241. Here with more on the status
of the Jakovasaurs
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242. is Department-of-Interior
guy!
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243. Thank you, Mayor.
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244. The noble Jakovasaur is
on the brink of extinction.
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245. And now you as a community have
a chance to bring them back.
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246. "Thank you, Mayor,
for this distinctive honor..."
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247. What are you doing,
fat ass?
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248. I'm preparing my speech
for when they call me up
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249. to congratulate me
on my discovery.
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250. "Thank you, Mayor,
for this distinctive honor..."
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251. Hope and Jakov
are the last of their kind.
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252. But with the help
of the mayor,
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253. we have implemented a plan
to help them breed.
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254. We will give them a home
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255. and a fighting chance
at survival.
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256. Yay for us!
- Thank you!
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257. Now the little boy who first
discovered the Jakovasaurs,
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258. Eric Cartman!
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259. Thank you, mayor,
for this honorable distinction.
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260. Well, that's about it.
Let's go.
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261. You know, there's really only
two seasons here in South Park,
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262. winter and July.
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263. But, um, seriously.
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264. South Park has always been
a place of discovery for me.
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265. Hey, you sons of bitches,
get back here!
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266. I'm having
a God damn distinctive honor!
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267. Wow,
it's so pretty!
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268. Well, Jakov,
we hope this new home
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269. inspires you and Hope
to, uh... hm, you know.
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270. What?
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271. Well, we'd love
to see more Jakovasaurs,
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272. so maybe you two
should, uh...
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273. What?
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274. Get to some business.
- What?
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275. They want you
to have sex, God damn it!
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276. Oh!
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277. We'll just leave
you two lovebirds alone.
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278. Alright, then.
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279. Who-o-o-a!
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280. Waaahh!
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281. Whoo-o-o-o!
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282. Meesa jes
don't wanna!
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283. I don't know what to do!
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284. Jakov, to have sex,
all you need to do is,
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285. well, you know,
put your...
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286. Hmm, I guess we don't know
exactly how Jakovasaurs mate.
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287. There is another option.
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288. I have managed
to artificially inseminate Hope
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289. with your semen.
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290. I have semen?
Where's their boat?
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291. Yes, yes.
That's very funny, Jakov.
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292. I will need
to examine Hope once more
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293. to see
if the process worked.
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294. Goo-waaaaaa!
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295. Harr!
Ooohh!
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296. God damn.
Shut up!
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297. Yes, yes.
I think it worked.
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298. You're going to be parents.
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299. Yeah!
- We did it!
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300. Now I can be like
all the other dads
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301. in South Park!
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302. Dude, do we really want
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303. another one of these
things hanging around?
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304. "And Bubby Brister is having
a great first quarter!
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305. "Let's see
what trickery he uses here.
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306. "Here's the snap..."
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307. Thanks for inviting me
to watch the game, guys!
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308. No problem, Jakov.
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309. "... to the 40-yard line!"
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310. Go, niners!
Nin-ers!
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311. We're rooting
for the Broncos here, Jakov.
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312. Oop!
- "To Terrell Davis!
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313. "He's at the 50,
the 40, the 30..."
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314. You guys know what?
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315. This one time, I was
watching this rabbit,
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316. a brown rabbit...
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317. "He breaks another tackle,
and the ball is loose!"
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318. You guys know
what happened?
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319. It took dookie
right in front of me!
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320. Hey, Jakov.
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321. Uh, could you run down
to the store
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322. and get some more
pretzels?
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323. Sure.
You got money?
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324. Here you go.
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325. And don't go to the store
down the block.
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326. The one four miles away
in Fairplay has better pretzels.
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327. Cool beans!
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328. Oopie!
I'll be right back.
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329. Jakovasaurs kind of
piss me off, m'kay?
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330. yep.
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331. Amazing! The gestation period
was only four days.
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332. At that rate, we could
repopulate the Jakovasaurs
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333. in just a few years!
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334. Boooo-wap!
Don't worry, Hope.
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335. Everything's gonna be fine,
just fine.
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336. Just fine.
- Fine.
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337. Dude, I don't want to watch
this thing have a baby.
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338. If Jakov and Hope
don't have kids,
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339. their race
will become extinct.
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340. Maybe the baby will be
stillborn, like Cartman was.
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341. Hey, I might have been
stillborn,
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342. but at least I got better.
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343. Here we go!
- Ooo... woop!
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344. Behold, the miracle
of childbirth!
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345. Gross!
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346. Ah-woop!
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347. Hooray!
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348. This is the first step
in bringing the species
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349. back from the brink
of extinction.
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350. Ooh-woop!
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351. Looks like there
might be a second one.
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352. Wow, that would be
a great start for them!
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353. Hooray!
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354. She's a cannon!
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355. Well, apparently
they breed in litters.
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356. Aren't they cute,
you guys?
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357. Dude, I'm not so sure
this is a good thing.
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358. Boooo-woooop!
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359. Aah!
Ohh!
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360. Okay, children,
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361. we have some new students
joining us today.
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362. Let's all be warm
and welcome them to our class.
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363. Dude, it's crowded in here!
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364. I like school!
- Boooo-wooop!
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365. Okay, so we're just gonna
stick to our normal lesson plan
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366. and start the day
with history.
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367. Now, does anyone know
why Chubby Checker
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368. left The Beatles in 1972?
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369. Yes?
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370. I don't know!
- Booooo-woooop!
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371. Okay, is there anybody
who can answer the question?
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372. I can't.
- Me neither.
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373. Damn it, you don't raise
your hand if you don't know!
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374. Oh!
- Gooowwaaa!
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375. Gooowwaaa!
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376. Ooh!
Fight, fight!
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377. Dude, this sucks ass!
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378. I like going
to school now.
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379. Jakovasaurs are so cool.
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380. This is insane,
Mr. Garrison.
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381. It sure is, Mr. Hat.
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382. Now, folks, I know
we're all a little worried
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383. about the Jakovasaurs,
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384. and I want
to hear you all out.
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385. Mayor, the little Jakovasaurs
are ruining my classroom.
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386. I can't teach
our kids anything.
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387. Yeah!
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388. And those Jakovasaurs
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389. eat three times as much
as normal children.
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390. I can't keep up!
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391. Yeah!
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392. And they're
creating more trash
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393. than we can handle, too!
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394. Yeah!
Listen to him!
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395. And what about little Laura,
the Williams kid?
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396. If she doesn't get
that heart-valve operation,
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397. she could die!
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398. Yeah, yeah,
that's right!
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399. Alright, alright.
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400. It's obvious
we have to do something,
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401. but we can't
just make them leave.
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402. We just encourage them
to find someplace better.
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403. But where?
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404. Jakovasaurs are big, loud,
annoying, and stupid.
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405. Where would they fit in?
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406. Memphis?
- Yes, Memphis!
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407. You Jakovasaurs
would love it there.
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408. I don't know.
I like South Park a lot.
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409. What do you think, honey?
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410. Gooooowwwaaahh!
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411. Yeah.
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412. But everyone
in South Park
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413. wishes they could live
in Memphis, right?
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414. Yeah, yeah!
- Go, Memphis!
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415. Okay, we'll move
to Memphis.
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416. Hooray!
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417. Hey, Jakov,
how's it going?
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418. Great, Eric.
We're moving!
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419. Moving?
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420. Me and my family are heading
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421. to the promised land
of Memphis.
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422. You... can't leave.
You're my friend.
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423. Oh, Eric dear,
it's what's best.
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424. Yeah, let's get
that luggage packed.
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425. Jakov, please don't go.
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426. You make everything
in South Park fun.
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427. You brought life
to this whole town.
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428. It would suck without you.
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429. It would?
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430. Yes. These people, Jakov...
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431. These people need you.
I need you.
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432. Please, Jakov... stay?
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433. Okay!
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434. I like South Park
best of all!
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435. We're staying!
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436. Hooray!
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437. Jakov is staying,
you guys!
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438. Now what do we do?
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439. Don't worry.
We've come up with a plan.
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440. You have?
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441. Yes, we're leaving!
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442. What?
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443. We're getting
the hell out of here
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444. and away from those
God damn things.
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445. You can't leave!
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446. Yes, who will
take care of them?
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447. Little boy,
we're making you an honorary
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448. Department of Interior
person.
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449. So now you are
officially in charge
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450. of South Park's
fish and wildlife.
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451. You have authority
over all of them.
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452. I have authoritah?
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453. That's right,
and people must respect it.
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454. Well, that should be fine,
just fine.
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455. Fine, just fine.
- Fine.
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456. Oh, no, nothing's worse
than Cartman with authoritah!
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457. Bye-bye, now!
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458. And now back to Jakovasaurs
on Comedy Central
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459. Hi, honey, I'm home!
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460. Whoo!
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461. Boy, it was rough
at work today.
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462. I've never seen
so much coffee!
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463. Booooo-wooooop?
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464. No... in the boss' lap!
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465. Hello, Dad!
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466. Hello, Son.
How was your day?
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467. Oh, not so good.
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468. Something really
strange happened.
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469. What, you mean MTV played
a video that wasn't Will Smith?
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470. No, Dad!
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471. A man in a blue suit
and a bag came to the door.
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472. He just left this sealed piece
of paper with a stamp on it.
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473. That's called a mailman!
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474. He takes care of mail!
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475. Oh, he took care
of Mom, too.
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476. You're a nut!
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477. Let me see that letter!
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478. It's from a game show!
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479. The mayor
has invited me to compete.
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480. Hi, Jakov!
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481. What the hell
is that?
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482. Who's laughing?
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483. Eric, the mayor
has invited us to compete
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484. on a game show
in South Park.
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485. First prize is an
all-expense paid vacation.
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486. Wow, that's cool.
I can help you get ready.
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487. Whoop!
Whoo!
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488. Come on, come on.
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489. Hello?
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490. Mayor, this is Jakov.
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491. I'm the tall fellow
down the block—
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492. Yes, yes, you're calling
about the game show.
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493. Congratulations.
Will you do it?
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494. Sure, if a free trip
is involved.
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495. Can my whole family go?
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496. Of course!
That's the point!
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497. Just be ready this afternoon
at the public access building.
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498. And good luck.
Hope you win.
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499. Cool beans!
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500. We got him.
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501. Alright, the boys here
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502. will keep little Eric Cartman
distracted.
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503. Meanwhile, we get rid
of the Jakovasaurs
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504. and bring some normalcy
back to this town!
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505. Ready?
- Break!
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506. Hey, Ned, a package came
for you from Voice Box Express.
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507. Oh... boy. Oh... boy.
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508. Now, remember, Barbrady,
all you have to do is lose.
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509. Right!
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510. Okay, let's quiet down,
people and Jakovasaurs.
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511. Now, as you know,
the winner of this little game
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512. will get an all-expense paid
trip for himself
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513. and 50 of his closest
relatives to lovely... France!
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514. And all one of you lucky
contestants has to do
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515. is answer only one
of these questions.
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516. Are you ready, players?
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517. Ready!
- Ready!
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518. Okay, hands
on your buzzers.
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519. 47!
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520. You have to wait
until I ask the question first.
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521. Sorry!
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522. That's okay.
Hands on buzzers.
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523. Turkey sandwich!
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524. Damn, he's quick.
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525. Oh, sorry!
- No, I'm sorry.
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526. No, that's my fault.
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527. No, it's all me.
My bad.
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528. Sorry.
- Sorry.
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529. Will somebody please
unplug the damn buzzers?
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530. Got it.
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531. Now can we get on
with this?
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532. First question:
What color is blue?
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533. Blue?
- What?
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534. Blue is blue?
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535. Aw, did I lose?
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536. What, lose?
- No, no, hang on.
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537. You're supposed
to lose, you idiot!
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538. Where am I?
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539. Just don't answer
any more questions, got it?
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540. Okeydokey.
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541. Sorry, folks.
A little mix-up.
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542. We're playing
best out of three.
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543. What are we doing out here,
you guys?
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544. I want to see if Jakov
wins that game show.
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545. Oh, he'll win,
don't worry.
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546. We just have to show you
this new species
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547. because you're the
Department of Interior guy now.
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548. Soon they will all
be eaten by bears.
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549. Let me get out my notepad
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550. so I can classify
this new species.
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551. That should be fine,
just fine.
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552. Just fine, fine.
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553. There it is! That must be
of the antelope family.
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554. That's Kenny
with branches on his head.
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555. Why did you bring me
all the way out here, you guys?
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556. Cartman, Jakovasaurs
are making South Park suck.
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557. You have
to understand that.
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558. What does that have to do
with me being all the way out—
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559. Wait a minute,
you're distracting me!
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560. That game show is a fix!
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561. Cartman, wait!
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562. Mrph rmh mrph rmh rmphm—
mrphh!
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563. What's two plus two,
Jakov?
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564. I don't know!
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565. Four?
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566. Jakov,
what is your name?
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567. Jakov.
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568. Oh, screw it.
Jakov wins!
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569. I do?
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570. You and your entire family
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571. are going to wonderful
and exotic France!
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572. Hooray!
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573. Alright, everybody.
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574. Let's get them
to the airport.
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575. Let's go, people.
There's no time to lose!
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576. But what
about our clothes?
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577. Shouldn't we pack first?
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578. Jakovasaurs
don't wear clothes, Jakov.
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579. Oh, yeah!
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580. Well, good-bye, everybody!
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581. We'll send stuff from France!
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582. Goodbye!
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583. Whoo!
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584. Jakov!
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585. Close the door!
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586. Open this door!
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587. Eric, this is
for the best.
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588. I am Department of Interior
guy, and I have authoritah!
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589. No!
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590. Jakov, don't go!
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591. Hi, Eric!
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592. Okay, bye, then!
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593. Come... Back.
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594. Eric, it's important
for you to understand—
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595. Don't, Mother.
Just don't.
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596. I know it's hard, Eric,
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597. but I've learned
something today.
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598. You see, animal species
come and go.
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599. It's all part
of natural evolution.
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600. The Jakovasaurs
would have gone extinct
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601. if we hadn't interfered
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602. because their
particular form of life
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603. simply wasn't practical.
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604. We can't go around
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605. saving every form of life
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606. any more than we can
kill them all.
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607. We have to let nature
run its course.
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608. Ned, that voice box sucks!
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609. I know. I'm still trying
to find my old one.
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610. Well, then, what say we all
go get some ice cream?
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611. Hooray!
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612. No, that's okay.
I'll see you guys.
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613. Dude, I've never seen
Cartman
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614. care so much
about something.
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615. Yeah, I guess he finally
found something
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616. that's as annoying
as he is.
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617. Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
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618. Café?
- Oui.
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619. Come on, kids.
Let's go find the pyramid!
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620. Whoo! Aah!
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