1. Mom, please,
can we just leave?Copy !req
2. You have to see
the eye doctor, Eric.Copy !req
3. But I hate
the eye doctor.Copy !req
4. He's always making
fun of me for being fat.Copy !req
5. You're not fat.
You're big-boned!Copy !req
6. That's what I told him
but he doesn't listen
to reason.Copy !req
7. Eric Cartman?Copy !req
8. Oh, weak.Copy !req
9. Hello Eric.Copy !req
10. Hi, Doctor Lott.Copy !req
11. How's my
little piggy, today?Copy !req
12. Hey, don't call me
"little piggy"!Copy !req
13. I just say that because
you're my little buddy.Copy !req
14. I'm just here
for an eye examCopy !req
15. keep your fat jokes
to yourself!Copy !req
16. Hop up on
the chair.Copy !req
17. Don't break it, now.Copy !req
18. Goddamn it!Copy !req
19. Just kidding,
let's see how
your eyes are doing.Copy !req
20. All you have to do is
read the letters.Copy !req
21. Can you see
the letters?Copy !req
22. Yes.Copy !req
23. Read them
out for me.Copy !req
24. I-am-a-little-piggy.Copy !req
25. Hey!
- Ha ha ha!Copy !req
26. That does it!
Mom!Copy !req
27. No no, that's just a
weird coincidence.Copy !req
28. I do not know
how that happened.Copy !req
29. "I am a little piggy,"
what are the
odds of that!Copy !req
30. Alright, let's get down
to business, shall we?Copy !req
31. Gee that's a good idea.Copy !req
32. My mom isn't paying you
to be a comedian.Copy !req
33. Hmmm, let's see,
which is better,
1 or 2?Copy !req
34. They look exactly the same!Copy !req
35. Just pick one—
or 2?Copy !req
36. I dunno-2.Copy !req
37. Okay.Copy !req
38. 1 or 2?
1 or 2?Copy !req
39. Uh, 1.Copy !req
40. 1 or 2?
1 or 2?Copy !req
41. 2!Copy !req
42. No! The answer is
1, piggy, 1!Copy !req
43. Ooww, I hate you!Copy !req
44. Yes, there's obviously
a problem with your eyes.Copy !req
45. I'm going to have to
dilate them and
run some tests.Copy !req
46. I wonder how come
Cartman's not in
school today?Copy !req
47. Yeah, usually when he
ditches school he still
shows up for lunch!Copy !req
48. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
49. Yeah, oh,
here he comes!Copy !req
50. Hey, dudes.Copy !req
51. Wow, what happened
to your eyes, Cartman?Copy !req
52. My asshole eye doctor
made them all diabated.Copy !req
53. Why?Copy !req
54. Why? I'll tell you why,Copy !req
55. because he's a
goddamn asshole,Copy !req
56. and that's about it!Copy !req
57. Why do you have
to see an eye doctor?Copy !req
58. Because my eyes suck.Copy !req
59. But that doctor likes to torture me and I have to
go back tomorrow.Copy !req
60. I don't know what
I'm gonna do!Copy !req
61. Dude, just ask Chef for help,
he always knows what to do.Copy !req
62. Hey yeah.Copy !req
63. Oww!Copy !req
64. Hey Chef!Copy !req
65. Hello there, children!Copy !req
66. Dudes, now my eyes
are screwed up.Copy !req
67. Chef looks like a
skinny little white guy!Copy !req
68. It's time for luncharoo!Copy !req
69. Where's Chef?Copy !req
70. Chef quit!Copy !req
71. What!Copy !req
72. Chef is gone,
so let me introduce myself...Copy !req
73. I'm your new cook,
Mr. Derp!Copy !req
74. Mr. Derp?Copy !req
75. When I'm
in the kitchen,Copy !req
76. you never know what
nutty things are gonna happen.Copy !req
77. If you liked Chef,
you're gonna love Mr. Derp!Copy !req
78. Ooh-derp!Copy !req
79. Derp!Copy !req
80. Wasn't that silly kids?Copy !req
81. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
82. Why did Chef quit?Copy !req
83. Aren't I
a great character?Copy !req
84. My antics go
right to the funnybone!Copy !req
85. Ooh, I don't feel so good.Copy !req
86. Ha ha ha, derp!Copy !req
87. Could you just hand us
some food, please?Copy !req
88. Sure gang, I have yellow stuff
or white stuff. Derp!Copy !req
89. Can I have the yellow
with a side of white?Copy !req
90. Dude, I hate Mr. Derp.Copy !req
91. Yeah, we gotta talk to Chef
after schoolCopy !req
92. and get him
to come back.Copy !req
93. I don't know, you guys. That
hammer thing is pretty funny.Copy !req
94. Shut up, Cartman!Copy !req
95. Oww!Copy !req
96. Oh, hello there, children!Copy !req
97. Chef, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
98. We almost starved
to death at lunch today!Copy !req
99. Oh, didn't
they tell you?Copy !req
100. I quit.Copy !req
101. Yeah, but we
didn't believe them.Copy !req
102. Well, it's true.Copy !req
103. But why?Copy !req
104. Why would you quit?Copy !req
105. Children, 3 nights ago
I was at the libraryCopy !req
106. checking out some books
on Kama Sutra,Copy !req
107. when I met the most
amazing woman, ever!Copy !req
108. She knew so much about
so many things.Copy !req
109. She really
got me thinking.Copy !req
110. We eventually came back to my place
and really hit it off!Copy !req
111. So you made sweet love
to her down by the fire?Copy !req
112. No no, we just sat there
all night long and... talked.Copy !req
113. Talked?Copy !req
114. Yeah, she told me all about
the power of the Goddess.Copy !req
115. And how man had been
oppressing women for yearsCopy !req
116. and viewing them
as sexual objects.Copy !req
117. And I realized that
I had done that myself!Copy !req
118. Oh, what darling
little children!Copy !req
119. Here she is now.Copy !req
120. Children, meet my new
girlfriend, Veronica.Copy !req
121. That's nice.Copy !req
122. Look Chef, Cartman's got
this eye doctor—girlfriend?Copy !req
123. Children, Veronica's
moving in with me.Copy !req
124. Moving in?Copy !req
125. I'm in love.Copy !req
126. Love?Copy !req
127. Oh, you nut!Copy !req
128. What the hell
is going on?Copy !req
129. Veronica spent the whole day
sharing her favorite poems
with me.Copy !req
130. Sorry, boys.Copy !req
131. Looks like I'm stealing
Chef away from you.Copy !req
132. But Chef always helps us
with our problems.Copy !req
133. When we have a problem,
Chef sings to us and
makes it better!Copy !req
134. Well I can still
do that, children.Copy !req
135. In fact, Veronica
can help me.Copy !req
136. She's a
great singer too.Copy !req
137. What's the problem?Copy !req
138. My eyes are going badCopy !req
139. but the only eye doctor
in South ParkCopy !req
140. is really, really mean.Copy !req
141. Oh, I know
just the song for you.Copy !req
142. This... is insane.Copy !req
143. That bitch!Copy !req
144. She's stealing
Chef from us!Copy !req
145. He didn't even
seem like Chef.Copy !req
146. He seemed like an
empty shell of a man.Copy !req
147. Maybe it's
just a phase.Copy !req
148. We just have to
get him aloneCopy !req
149. so we can tell him
what a bitch she is!Copy !req
150. Wait, you guys...Copy !req
151. Maybe, is it possible
that we're just jealousCopy !req
152. because Chef
is our friendCopy !req
153. and now he's paying attention
to somebody new?Copy !req
154. Yeah, so?Copy !req
155. Yeah, screw
that bitch!Copy !req
156. Bitch, I hate
that bitch!Copy !req
157. Look, we've just
got to get Chef alone.Copy !req
158. He won't listen to reason
with that hooker around.Copy !req
159. Let's find out where he's
working and go see him
there tomorrow.Copy !req
160. Good idea!Copy !req
161. Alright, we've got the
test results back, piggy—Copy !req
162. Stop calling
me piggy!Copy !req
163. You've got a small stigmatism
that's causing all the problems.Copy !req
164. What does
that mean?Copy !req
165. It means, piggy, that your
eyesight is never going
to get better.Copy !req
166. Alright. Right now, I'm gonna be
totally serious, okay?Copy !req
167. If you call me piggy
one more time,Copy !req
168. I'm gonna leap
out of this chairCopy !req
169. and rip your goddamn nuts off
with my bare hands!Copy !req
170. Well don't worry,
I've got somethingCopy !req
171. that is going to make
your eyes as good as new.Copy !req
172. Oh dude, super weak.Copy !req
173. I'm not wearing these.Copy !req
174. The guys would
totally rip on me!Copy !req
175. I know the hardest
thing to doCopy !req
176. is get kids
to wear their glasses.Copy !req
177. I'm just gonna take them off
as soon as I leave.Copy !req
178. That's why we have
the little stapler.Copy !req
179. Oww, son of a bitch!Copy !req
180. They said Chef works in
one of these buildings.Copy !req
181. Hey, dudes.Copy !req
182. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha!Copy !req
183. "Ha ha ha, look at Cartman
with his stupid glasses.
Ha ha ha."Copy !req
184. Dude, just
take them off!Copy !req
185. I can't, it's stapled
to my head!Copy !req
186. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!Copy !req
187. I hate you guys.Copy !req
188. Hello and welcome to
Steinburg & Burgstein,
can I help you?Copy !req
189. We want to
talk to Chef!Copy !req
190. Chef?Copy !req
191. He's a big guy with a beard
and a Chef's hat.Copy !req
192. Oh, the black guy!Copy !req
193. Huh?Copy !req
194. Third cubicle
on the left.Copy !req
195. Hey, aren't you that cute
little kid from Jerry Mcguire?Copy !req
196. Uh yeah,
sure, sure!Copy !req
197. Wow, you really got fat!Copy !req
198. Hey!Copy !req
199. Hello there children!Copy !req
200. Hey Chef.Copy !req
201. Eric, you've got glasses!Copy !req
202. Chef, you have to
dump the bitch.Copy !req
203. Huh?Copy !req
204. We need you Chef!Copy !req
205. Hey Chef, we're all gonna run
down to the office supply storeCopy !req
206. and get some leather holders
for our pagers, you wanna come?Copy !req
207. You bet!Copy !req
208. Chef this place
isn't you.Copy !req
209. Children, Veronica has shown
me that I've been living a very empty life.Copy !req
210. Meaningless sex is fun
for 20 or 30 years,Copy !req
211. but after that,
it starts to get old.Copy !req
212. But we don't
like her!Copy !req
213. Why not?Copy !req
214. I don't know.
No reason, I guess.Copy !req
215. Children, friends get
girlfriends all the time.Copy !req
216. It's something even you
will have to face
with each other someday.Copy !req
217. No way, dude!Copy !req
218. Please Chef, I don't know what
to do about my stupid glasses!Copy !req
219. That's easy, get some
laser-corrective surgery.Copy !req
220. That's what I did!Copy !req
221. Hey, laser-corrective surgery,
thanks Chef!Copy !req
222. You see, everything's gonna be
fine.Copy !req
223. How about I meet you boys after
work and we can play ball?Copy !req
224. Okay!Copy !req
225. Chef should be here
any minute.Copy !req
226. Dude, he bailed on us!Copy !req
227. I can't believe it!Copy !req
228. C'mon, we're going
to his house.Copy !req
229. Oh! Hello there children.Copy !req
230. Alright mister!Copy !req
231. You'd better have a good
explanation why you didn't
show up to play ball!Copy !req
232. Oh children,
I'm sorry, I forgot.Copy !req
233. You forgot?Copy !req
234. Veronica surprised me
at the office and took me out to dinner.Copy !req
235. She's so amazing!Copy !req
236. Well, we've got something to
tell you about Veronica, Chef.Copy !req
237. Hello, children!Copy !req
238. Man, we're having a dude
man to man here if you don't mind.Copy !req
239. Children, I've got some
great news for you.Copy !req
240. Veronica and I
are getting married.Copy !req
241. Oh no, no no no!Copy !req
242. My whole family's coming in
for the wedding.Copy !req
243. I want you boys
to come, too.Copy !req
244. This is so wonderful!Copy !req
245. Let's sing!Copy !req
246. And that, children,
is what you need to knowCopy !req
247. about the facts of life.Copy !req
248. So let's review...Copy !req
249. Tootie left in the 4th season,Copy !req
250. but Blair and Jo stayed on
and got husbands,Copy !req
251. leaving the 5th and 6th seasons
hideously stagnant.Copy !req
252. Okay, children, that's lunch,
see you in 30 minutes.Copy !req
253. Mr. Garrison,
can we talk to you?Copy !req
254. Sure!Copy !req
255. Normally we go to Chef
with our problems,Copy !req
256. but we can't
this time!Copy !req
257. Well, children,
I am your teacher.I think you'll findCopy !req
258. that my advice is just as valuable
as Chef's, if not more so.Copy !req
259. Alright, Mr. Garrison, have you ever had
a friend who got a new girlfriendCopy !req
260. and then stopped being your friend
and it pissed you off?Copy !req
261. Oh, the old succubus syndrome.Copy !req
262. What's a "succubus"?Copy !req
263. A succubus is a woman sent
from hell to suck the life out of a man!Copy !req
264. That's it!
- Yeaah!Copy !req
265. There's not much you can do
about a succubus.Copy !req
266. Their evil power makes man
blind to love.Copy !req
267. This is totally
what's happening!Copy !req
268. Wow! You are smart,
Mr. Garrison!Copy !req
269. Yeah, I tell you boys,
women can kill.Copy !req
270. Poontang's expensive.Copy !req
271. That's why when it comes to chicks,
I just screw 'em and leave 'em.Copy !req
272. I say, "get out of my bedroom,
poontang, before you suck
my life dry."Copy !req
273. Thanks Mr. Garrison.Copy !req
274. Sure, kids!Copy !req
275. You're not
fooling anyone.Copy !req
276. Shut your hole, Mr. Head!Copy !req
277. C'mon guys, we gotta go tell Chef
he's in love with a succubus!Copy !req
278. Yeah, he's gonna be
so thankful we told him!Copy !req
279. There you are, Eric!Copy !req
280. C'mon we have to go to
the eye doctor!Copy !req
281. Oh, no!Copy !req
282. C'mon, do you want
your laser-corrective
surgery or not?Copy !req
283. Yes, but can't we
wait 'til tomorrow?Copy !req
284. Now, hon.Copy !req
285. But Mom, I have to tell Chef
that he's marrying a succubus.Copy !req
286. Hello there, children.Copy !req
287. Who are you?Copy !req
288. I'm Chef's father.Copy !req
289. We just flew in
for the wedding.Copy !req
290. Oh, hi, is Chef here?Copy !req
291. We have to talk to him!Copy !req
292. Yeah, c'mon on in.Copy !req
293. There he is!Copy !req
294. Chef, we have to talk to you!Copy !req
295. Ooh, not now children.Copy !req
296. I gotta get fitted
for my britches.Copy !req
297. Be right back!Copy !req
298. Well, aren't you crackers
just cute as a dickens.Copy !req
299. You're Chef's parents?Copy !req
300. Yes, all his life!Copy !req
301. We have to talk to him!Copy !req
302. Well, he should be out
now directly.Copy !req
303. Oh, he's so excited
about the wedding!Copy !req
304. Say, would you crackers love
to hear about the timeCopy !req
305. we saw the
Loch Ness monster?Copy !req
306. No, that's okay.Copy !req
307. Ooh, it must've been about
7, 8 years ago.Copy !req
308. Me and the little lady was
out on this boat, you see,
all alone at night.Copy !req
309. When all of a sudden
a huge creature—Copy !req
310. this giant crustacean
from the Paleolithic eraCopy !req
311. comes out
from the water!Copy !req
312. We were so scared, Lord,
I jumped up in the boat
and said,Copy !req
313. Thomas, what on earth is
that creature?Copy !req
314. It's stood above us,
looking down,Copy !req
315. with these
big red eyes—Copy !req
316. Ooh, it's so scary!Copy !req
317. And I yelled, I said,
"what do you want from us,
monster?"Copy !req
318. And the monster bent down
and said,Copy !req
319. "I need about three-fitty."Copy !req
320. What's three-fitty?Copy !req
321. Three dollars and
fifty cents.Copy !req
322. Three-fitty.Copy !req
323. He wanted money?Copy !req
324. That's right!
I said,Copy !req
325. "I ain't giving you no
three-fitty, you goddamn
Loch Ness monster!"Copy !req
326. "get your own
goddamn money!"Copy !req
327. I gave him a dollar!Copy !req
328. She gave him a dollar!Copy !req
329. I thought he'd go away if
I gave him a dollar!Copy !req
330. Well, of course he's not
gonna go away now.Copy !req
331. You gave him a dollar,
he's gonna assume
you got more!Copy !req
332. Okay, lets get started...Copy !req
333. You're here for
the liposuction, right?Copy !req
334. Oh, you son of a bitch!Copy !req
335. Alright, time to laser me
a little piggy!Copy !req
336. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
337. Hey!
You son of a bitch.Copy !req
338. I'm gonna kick you
square in the—Copy !req
339. Ehh... ehh... ahh.Copy !req
340. I bet his mom wishes
she could do that!Copy !req
341. And that was the third time
we saw the Loch Ness monster!Copy !req
342. Then one time,
I believe it was July—Copy !req
343. August.Copy !req
344. August- there's a knock
on the door,Copy !req
345. I opened it, and there's this
cute little girl scout.Copy !req
346. Oh she's so adorable with
little pig tails 'n all.Copy !req
347. And she said to me,Copy !req
348. "how would you like to
buy some cookies?"Copy !req
349. And I said, "well,
what kind do you have?"Copy !req
350. She had "Thin Mints"
"Graham Crunchy Thins"--Copy !req
351. "Raisin Oatmeal"Copy !req
352. "Raisin Oatmeal"...Copy !req
353. And I said, "we'll
take a graham crunch."Copy !req
354. "How much will that be?"Copy !req
355. And she looks at me
and she says,Copy !req
356. "I need about three-fitty!"Copy !req
357. Three-fitty.Copy !req
358. Well, it's about that time
that I noticedCopy !req
359. this girl scout was
about 8 stories tall,Copy !req
360. and was a crustacean
from the planet Ogere.Copy !req
361. The Loch Ness monster!Copy !req
362. I said, "damnit monster,
get off my lawn!Copy !req
363. I ain't giving you
no three-fitty!"Copy !req
364. She said, "how about
just two-fitty!"Copy !req
365. I said, "oh now it's
only two-fitty!"Copy !req
366. "what is there a sale on
Loch Ness munchies
or something?"Copy !req
367. Lord, he was angry!Copy !req
368. Damn right
I was angry!Copy !req
369. Not you,
the monster!Copy !req
370. He was about to
kick your ass!Copy !req
371. Shut your mouth,
woman!Copy !req
372. Uh, can you just
tell Chef we were here!Copy !req
373. Sure!Copy !req
374. That crazy old monster.Copy !req
375. And then,
the fourth time...Copy !req
376. Cartman, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
377. That asshole eye doctor
screwed up my laser surgery.Copy !req
378. I have to wear these bandages
for 3 days.Copy !req
379. Damn, your eyes must
really suck, Cartman!Copy !req
380. Oh thanks for the
news flash, Tom Brokaw!Copy !req
381. What happened to Chef?Copy !req
382. Did you tell him she's a
succubus!Copy !req
383. Oh, we couldn't
even talk to him.Copy !req
384. She's so evil she has him
totally kept away from us.Copy !req
385. Eric, you have
a little visitor.Copy !req
386. Is that all right?Copy !req
387. Okay.Copy !req
388. Hello, boys.Copy !req
389. I heard Eric had laser surgery,
so I made him a pie.Copy !req
390. Aaaggh, it's
the succubus!Copy !req
391. Huh?Copy !req
392. We know what you are lady!Copy !req
393. Yeah!Copy !req
394. You're a bloodthirsty succubus!Copy !req
395. A what?Copy !req
396. A demon from hell sent to suck
life out of men!Copy !req
397. Boys, you know how silly that
sounds, don't you?Copy !req
398. Well, you are taking
Chef from us!Copy !req
399. Boys, come here, I want to
explain this to you.Copy !req
400. I know Chef is your friend,
but Chef is a grown man.Copy !req
401. He has needs
you boys can't fulfill.Copy !req
402. He wants a life with me
because I make him happy.Copy !req
403. Do you understand?Copy !req
404. I guess.Copy !req
405. Good!Copy !req
406. Oh, and boys,
just one more thing...Copy !req
407. I'm going to
marry Chef tomorrow,Copy !req
408. and there's not a Goddamn thing
you can do about it!Copy !req
409. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
410. Aaaarrgghh!Copy !req
411. Toodle-loo!Copy !req
412. Jesus, dude!Copy !req
413. What? What happened?Copy !req
414. Could I have
your attention, please!Copy !req
415. Tomorrow my son is gonna get
married to a beautiful lady.Copy !req
416. I'm very happy
for them both.Copy !req
417. I told myself
I wasn't gonna cry now.Copy !req
418. It's okay Pap!Copy !req
419. Now you're gonna
get me going, hah!Copy !req
420. I remember when Chef was
just a 3-year-old little man.Copy !req
421. He came running up to me
with a big smileCopy !req
422. and his little
Chef's hat on,Copy !req
423. and he said,
"Papa, Papa!"Copy !req
424. I said, "what do you
need Chef, my boy?"Copy !req
425. And he said, "I need about
three-fitty!"Copy !req
426. Three-fitty.Copy !req
427. Well it was about that time I
got suspicious, I said, "Chef,Copy !req
428. why do you
need three-fitty?"Copy !req
429. He said, "my imaginary friend,
Goo-Goo the Dinosaur wants it!"Copy !req
430. I went to my son's room
and sure enough, there wasCopy !req
431. the Loch Ness monster!Copy !req
432. Aw, it was scary!Copy !req
433. I said,
"damn it, monster!"Copy !req
434. "you stop bugging
my children now!Copy !req
435. "we work for our money
in this house!Copy !req
436. We don't
give money away!"Copy !req
437. Excuse me...Copy !req
438. We're sorry to interrupt,
but we've got bad news.Copy !req
439. This is not a woman!Copy !req
440. It is a succubus!Copy !req
441. What?Copy !req
442. Yeah!Copy !req
443. She's evil and wants to
suck Chef's life out of him!Copy !req
444. Children!Copy !req
445. That hurts
my feelings!Copy !req
446. Oh, you can pretend
all you want!Copy !req
447. You're not fooling
anybody!Copy !req
448. Alright, guys!Copy !req
449. That's enough!Copy !req
450. I have had it with you!Copy !req
451. This is the happiest
time of my life,Copy !req
452. and you can't be
happy for me!Copy !req
453. Chef, but—Copy !req
454. No "buts", Stan!Copy !req
455. I love this woman and
I am marrying her...Copy !req
456. Now you can either accept that
or get out of my life!Copy !req
457. Now if you'll excuse us,
we're having a party!Copy !req
458. So I chased the monster
down the street, you see!Copy !req
459. I guess there's
nothing we can do.Copy !req
460. Chef likes her
more than us!Copy !req
461. No!Copy !req
462. I'm not willing
to give up!Copy !req
463. Chef wouldn't
give up on us!Copy !req
464. Oh, man!Copy !req
465. There's tons of stuff
on succubuses,Copy !req
466. but there's nothing on
how to stop them!Copy !req
467. You guys, it's 6 in the morning,
I have to get some sleep!Copy !req
468. Dude, Chef's wedding is
in 3 hours.Copy !req
469. We've got that much time to find out
how to destroy a succubus!Copy !req
470. You know what?Copy !req
471. Screw Chef. There- I said it! Screw him!Copy !req
472. Let him marry Succubus!Copy !req
473. I wanna go to sleep!Copy !req
474. Here, here!
Look at this!Copy !req
475. It says, "the succubus enchants
its victim with an eerie melody,Copy !req
476. "this is the succubi power,Copy !req
477. "only playing
this melody backwardsCopy !req
478. can vanquish the
succubus' power!"Copy !req
479. What the hell
does that mean?Copy !req
480. I don't know.Copy !req
481. Right...Copy !req
482. Yeah...Copy !req
483. Ohhh...Copy !req
484. Hey yeah, what's that song
she always sings?Copy !req
485. That's it!Copy !req
486. We gotta learn
that song backwards!Copy !req
487. In 3 hours!Copy !req
488. Oh, man, I can't
keep my eyes open!Copy !req
489. We can't fall asleep,
we gotta nail that song!Copy !req
490. You've got the
tape recorder, Cartman?Copy !req
491. Cartman!Copy !req
492. He's asleep,
wake up, fat ass!Copy !req
493. What what what?Copy !req
494. Goddamn it,
you can't fall asleep!Copy !req
495. I wasn't sleeping, I was just
thinking really hard!Copy !req
496. And then these aliens
had me up in the ship, rightCopy !req
497. they was probing me
and all that...Copy !req
498. We had taco salad
that night!Copy !req
499. Don't matter what
we had for dinner, woman!Copy !req
500. Now these aliens had a
big head and big black eyesCopy !req
501. and it was all
bent over me.Copy !req
502. I said, "what do you
want from me, alien?"Copy !req
503. And you know what he said?Copy !req
504. Three-fitty.Copy !req
505. Let me tell
the damn story now!Copy !req
506. He said, "three-fitty"!Copy !req
507. And so I realized
it was no alien...Copy !req
508. It was that Goddamn
Loch Ness monster again,Copy !req
509. trying to trick me
into giving him three-fittyCopy !req
510. by dressing up
like an alien!Copy !req
511. Don't that beat all!Copy !req
512. I just given him three-fitty
the week before!Copy !req
513. What?Copy !req
514. You gave that monster
another damn three-fitty!Copy !req
515. He tricked me!Copy !req
516. Well no wonder the damn monster
keeps coming back to our house.Copy !req
517. You keep giving him the
three-fitty!Copy !req
518. There she is!Copy !req
519. Bitch!Copy !req
520. Bitch!Copy !req
521. Dirty bitch!Copy !req
522. Alright, Kenny and I are gonna
take position up-front.Copy !req
523. Okay!Copy !req
524. Do you Chef take this woman
as your lawful wedded wife?Copy !req
525. To have and to—Copy !req
526. I do!Copy !req
527. Oh, my baby's
getting married!Copy !req
528. And do you, Veronica,
take Chef to be your daddy?Copy !req
529. I do.Copy !req
530. And now a special
sharing of vows through song.Copy !req
531. Here it goes...Copy !req
532. Now, Cartman!Copy !req
533. Now, Cartman!Copy !req
534. Children, you're
screwing up my wedding!Copy !req
535. I'll take care
of them!Copy !req
536. Cartman, wake up,
you fat piece of crap!Copy !req
537. Oww!Copy !req
538. Aaaarrghh!Copy !req
539. No-oooo!Copy !req
540. What the...?Copy !req
541. Oh no, the tape jammed!Copy !req
542. What the...?Copy !req
543. She's a
Goddamn succubus!Copy !req
544. Succubus is trying
to take my baby!Copy !req
545. Arrrgh!Copy !req
546. C'mon, Cartman!Copy !req
547. I can't see
anything!Copy !req
548. Oh my God,
she killed Kenny!Copy !req
549. You bastard!Copy !req
550. You damn monster
get away from my baby!Copy !req
551. Hold on, I'll see
if I have three-fitty!Copy !req
552. Got it!Copy !req
553. Oh wow, you don't
see that everyday!Copy !req
554. We're sorry, Chef,
we had to do it.Copy !req
555. No, I'm glad
you did, children...Copy !req
556. Now that she's gone,Copy !req
557. I can't really figure out
what I ever saw in her!Copy !req
558. Poontang's poontang.Copy !req
559. C'mon, children,
let's go get some ice cream.Copy !req
560. Hurray!Copy !req
561. Wait, what
happened, you guys?Copy !req
562. Is Kenny okay?Copy !req
563. Hello there,
children!Copy !req
564. Hey, Chef!Copy !req
565. How would you like some
fish sticks and tater tots?Copy !req
566. We'd love them!Copy !req
567. It's great to have
you back, Chef!Copy !req
568. Yeah, well, I learned a very
important lesson this week!Copy !req
569. And never let poontang come
between you and your friends!Copy !req
570. Damn right, Garrison!Copy !req
571. Oh, hello, piggy.
How are your eyes doing?Copy !req
572. After today they're
going to be fineCopy !req
573. and I'll never have to
see you ever again!Copy !req
574. I don't think that's possible,
piggy, not with your eyes!Copy !req
575. No, not with
my eyes!Copy !req
576. With these!Copy !req
577. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
578. Was he an
organ donor?Copy !req
579. Sure!Copy !req
580. Alright, then
let's get to work!Copy !req
581. Say, you don't have
$3.50 on you, do you?Copy !req
582. Captioning made possible by
Comedy CentralCopy !req